#he gets more tired every year
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happy halloween and happy birthday jamie! just drew my sona with him this year jdnfgd (with their funky fresh new design!)
#he gets more tired every year#and I get more evil.#✖ mun art.#love the contrast of BLUE and Sad Beige Baby#✖ queue.
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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irt the lrb what would you say if i said liam & noel spent new years 2023 together in paris
what would you say if i said liam bought the house in france (the one with noel's name carved into the walls) in march 2023 and that month noel talked about wanting to spend several months in paris
which could mean nothing
#just making guesses chatting shit talking bollocks you know how it is#if anyone can debunk that first thing pls tell me!#feel like i'm wearing a tinfoil hat and it doesn't vibe with my outfits if y'know what i mean#feel like i should do a timeline but every time i try it gets out of hand#ok have some very messy puzzle piecing:#liam & noel texting/calling from time to time since jan 2020#noel splits w sara spring 2022 starts spending more time in manchester#maybe march mothers day something happened?? possibly liam & noel met up in april??? that's pure speculation though#pretty boy released oct 31 2022 noel stops wearing wedding ring#noel spends christmas in england for the first time in ages#liam listens to the smiths all christmas eve. on christmas he has a party for close friends and family (including bod)#liam and debbie go to france for the new year to house hunt#liam claims on twitter (no one believes him) that noel is with him on new years day#(((he posts a selfie that i uhhh got very tinhatty about.. don't worry about it)))#noel goes to a football game on jan 5 and he is in a very good mood#divorce news jan 14. liam's divorce playlist jan 15. allegedly out drinking together jan 16. noel does promo for new single jan 17#jan 18th liam claims on twitter noel wants to meet up#peggy's 80th birthday end of jan#liam's hip surgery beginning of feb#feb 6th he claims noel's “coming over later to wipe my arse and change the bedding he's a good lad really”#starts slagging noel off for real again in early march (he'd been “nice” since november's pretty boy promo)#news that he bought a house in france#noel does a bunch of promo at the end of march (when the 3rd single came out) some of which didnt air until june when the album came out#there's one interview where he seems very tired and hungover and he blabs about paris for ages#end of march is the 1st time he tells liam to call him. 2 months later he asks (goads) liam again a bunch of times#anyway i probably forgot some liam tweets from jan/feb and i really haven't looked into 2022 or 2021 yet#but yeah it's pretty clear they were hanging out 👁️👁️ jan 2023 and then things soured by march after liam's surgery#(((kinda wonder if noel ghosted him and then was too scared to call))) ←wondering that bc it's exactly what i would've done :/#the christmas eve/day stuff probably means nothing btw but well i'm feeling insane about the new years stuff don't even worry about it
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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I currently have an exam worth 20% of my grade and for the first time in my whole life, as someone who literally kills herself each exam season (and hurts herself real bad each exam) I genuinely feel nothing. I don’t even care if I get 0% that much atp I’m just so done. I have the work in front of me and I’m like idec enough to study atp after years of it being like this
#I honestly overworked and over stressed and over applied myself so much so that I’m officially dead now#I rlly want to drop out or at least take a gap year but I’m literally forbidden from doing so#I’m so tired bro#anyways all this and I’m literally just watching kaveh stuff and upsetting myself by reading ppls h*ik*veh herd mentality rambles and I’m#just so sad bc of that to the point I just want to stop liking both of them 😭#ik they’re not canon bc as a middle eastern person ik exactly how my culture is like and they act so brotherly#like every male friendship over there acts like they do#in fact they act even closer than them both#it’s just our culture is like that#sometimes I just get so mad at sumeru not even bc of hyv but#bc of how the h*ik*veh fan base is just so down your throat about it#and they’re so rude and so mean and cannot take the idea that their ship is not canon#listen to swana people they said#well swana people are talking and lots of swana I’ve spoken to are absolutely baffled by the fact ppl ship them#it’s so weird that westerners do that#and shipping is fine but like it’s UR hc it is not canon#but they all make it seem canon that everyone is now confused#even our people#I’m so sad I hate this fandom so much#in my almost 2 years of being a kaveh and alhaitham stan I have never met a nice shipper of theirs#they’re all loud and mean and rude and disrespectful to my culture#and also the other half is so blatantly racist to us#I wish sumeru didn’t exist-but more importantly I wish kaveh and alhaitham didn’t exist bc everyone is just rude#as an Iraqi I gatekeep alhaitham from you all >:( and kaveh too cause he’s my Persian buddy#yet here I was anyways making a header for myself that’s kaveh centric#rip me
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sorry im gonna be an asshole but if my dad knew he couldnt take care of us with the progression of his diseases then why did he fight so hard for custody. im 20 yrs old i shouldnt still be thinking abt this but still like. a billion years of neglect the fact that he is sick is irrelevant when he knew very well that he wouldnt meet our basic needs. sorry. and now its on me to take care of 2 mostly-adult teenagers who hate my guts and still think they're 12 years old and cant go to the store. or clean. or whayever. AGHHHHHHH
#i dont know why everyone is in this dream world where we're still so young. even my dad acts like im out of line by staying somewhere other#than his house. like im 14. and again. my sisters just genuinely seem like they dont understand that theyre grown now. cant we all just tak#care of ourselves? ??#if he didnt have custody i would have hated both of them even more but at least we would have been taken care of#every time i have this conversation with him hes like 'but i cant do anything..!' he can. ive seen that he can. he works from home hes on#the god damn couch all day. most of his work days hes just on tiktok waiting for people to call him. he doesnt do much of anything. youre#telling me you cant do the dishes or go to the store just once in a while ?#and then he says like. but thats what my spouse would do for me blah blah .................. single people still manage to feed themselves#somehow/. maybe its magic. maybe im an asshole for saying this. but seriously. dont be like this and then get angry that i like staying at#my moms better. there i just have to worry about myself. and because of that im more apt to do things for other people! bc im not#burned out all the time !#this is so dumb to complain about im 20 like. shut up. but wah its just tiring after like.... 10 years. lmao
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just so we’re clear about how tappei has a Type when it comes to who he wants to make the mc of rezero…..
#rezero#heinkel astrea#natsuki subaru#every time i make these venn diagrams they get both better and worse HAH#OK IF YOU DONT KNOW AGANAU IF. its an if route from the lost in memories mobile game#what essentially happens is that subaru doesnt die after the arc 3 loop where rem plays Twister and he carries her body back. subaru walks#a different path from the one going back to the mansion. so rems dead and subaru lives for another twenty years. shit gets a little wild and#subaru is now gritty and tired and more cringe fail.#as you do in these if stories.#i forgot to add that they have family expectations issues but yall already know that and im lazy to remake this HAH….#maybe subaru has a divine protection guys. the divine protection of having a loving family.#a loving found family too. just as a bonus. just to rub it in.#hes the main character bc hes everyones manic pixie dream girl fr. who else could do it like him?? no one.
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it's kind of frustrating that essentially all the advice on tumblr for functioning when your brain's not working properly assumes By Default that your brain's not working properly because of depression.
like. don't get me wrong, i'm glad there's advice for people with depression. and i'm totally capable of going, yeah ok this post isn't meant for me, moving on. but...when you have to do that with every advice post, when everyone around you is promising that everyone will feel better if they can put in the effort to do these things you know will make you feel worse, you start to wonder where the heck the posts that are meant for you are.
#this post brought to you by me considering making a different vent post and stopping for fear that everyone will jump down my throat with#that same 'baby steps! self-care! if you're tired just do a little bit every day and you'll get better at it! take your life into your#own hands!' that everyone here always says. i can't kyle. i have post-exertional malaise#curseposting#salty jungle cat noises#i don't know. maybe i'd be less annoyed about this if i hadn't had to deal with a year and a half of everyone around me telling me to#Just Exercise More And You'll Feel Better when i KNEW that would make it worse. and that one awful speech therapist who was convinced that#just wasn't trying and if i tried harder i wouldn't have brain fog. (he didn't SAY that but he made it very clear anyway.)#and having to On Purpose ignore all the academic advice i was getting because it was actually making it harder for me to succeed in school.#what am i some kind of alien. am i so different to everyone else that all advice ever does more harm than good. what#this is why i have issues with trusting authority#vent#*sigh* man i wish my collection of disorders were less obscure
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totk really is one of those games that make me go "ok thanks for the characters, setting, and general plot, but ill take it from here <3" because the entire historical timeline had so much potential for interesting and nuanced story telling but they just went with the old zelda story formula and YES thats how theyve always done it but botw was such a reset in terms of gameplay that they couldve overhauled how they handle story in totk. but they didnt
#ramblings#all the races swearing fealty to rauru made me so uncomfortable#like yeahhh ganondorf evil or whatever but also. hey. why is the one leader fighting for the independence of his people. the evil villain#am i just not getting something here am i insane#my first thought when i heard about ganondorf returning was 'wow they could turn him into an actual character' AND THEN THEY DIDNT#its been half a year i feel like the honeymoon period is over. totk was kinda mid. im sorry#it was alright but it just. didnt grab me. at all#botw was interesting because it was new but totk made me yearn for the older zelda formula#though tbh. im always yearning for the older zelda formula. i grew up on oot & twilight princess#you hype up ganondorf so much you make him look like THAT (no im still not over this) and then you just. do what weve always done#this happened in twilight princess. it happened in oot. it happened in ww. hell if you count demise it happened in skyward sword#IT HAPPENE.D IN THE FUCKING HYRULD WARRIORS SPINOFF#'oooh noooo the great evil has returned' WEVE BEEN HERE EVERY TIME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL#heres the gerudo having a man born and making him king as is their custom but they spend years in fear that he will be monstrous#here they are after all these iterations of ganondorf afraid to even have kids out of fear that SOMEONE will bring the new great evil#heres a child recently given the throne despite being barely more than a baby always treated with fear by everyone around him#ARE YOU SEEING MY VISION????#the curse is right there. do something with it. oh my god#i KNOW zelda games are just simple heros journeys but pleaseeee i need food#you dont have to make ganondorf nice just. do something with him im so tired of the evil guy caricature#i like guys who are plain evil but i like them more when they have some fucked up motivation beyond taking over the world
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BoCo and Bear have this unique look they exchange. Not every day but like once every month or so—whenever there is extremely predictable drama going down at Tidmouth.
It's a wordless "Can you believe this shit?" / "No, somehow, even after forty years, I cannot quite believe this shit."
#i was going to call it 'omfg more steam engine shit' look but that's not fair#because this exchange of glances gets an extra-vigorous workout every time a Rude Visiting Diesel is about#but to be fair it's time to shine is *also* when everyone is singing the tunnel song or joking about backing signals or somethin#i say 40 years because it took them a while to realize it's always just the same ten arguments rehashed#and it took 'em *even longer* to realize that although *they* were now tired of it#the famous eight *still* weren't and they NEVER WOULD BE#ttte#the railway series#ttte boco#ttte bear#ttte headcanon#i excluded oliver because he doesn't repeat himself#like he fucks up and causes drama frequently but the boy keeps it fresh#and donald and douglas are usually givin' each other the same look asdfkl;dfs;l (but they are MUCH less subtle about it lol)#sometimes the caledonians and the diesels can even mix-and-match in a pinch!#(you know what that is? GROWTH 💚)
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have come to the belated realization that when I talk to people about MCOA joining the army (the latest hot goss in the office) and they all say with forced cheer "well, he will thrive with that kind of structure!" they are not saying, as previously thought, that he's going to be happy there, they are saying in a much politer way than I have been that he's gonna absolutely fuckin hate it but it might be the one thing that finally makes him grow up and develop interpersonal skills and some sense of professionalism.
#we're all bitching this morning bc there is ONE thing this guy built in his whole time here that we use on almost every site#and he's been asked for A YEAR to add it to our master code repository and just doesn't#because he wants to be Special and be the only one who can add it to a site so we all have to ask him to do it#but listen. the things he does that we consider annoyances are going to get him roasted over a fire in the army#no more taking your stinky shoesies off bc youre uncomfy. no more being 20 mins late. no more failing to finish tasks withon deadlines#and working overtime to do the shit you promised could be done in one day#no more talking to yourself dramatically while working. no more weird loud and far too personal 'compliments'#no more CHASING PEOPLE AROUND while delivering said loud uncomfortable compliments#no more standing in the bathroom staring directly at the door of the stall your coworker is in for a full minute#ye gods the bathroom stories i have heard about this guy. thank god he only uses the mens washroom#some of the dudes here use the womens washroom specifically to avoid him lmfao#and they stop by our office on the way out to see if he's here or in the bathroom#sorry i know everyone's tired of hearing it. im tired of working with it! but!! 2 weeks!!!
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Nothing in my life has ever tasted as good as how I imagine cartoon meat that looks like this tastes
#talking tag#orv groundrat meat and yanaspleta stem#literally the only type of meat they eat in one piece#it's funny how in orv when kdj makes bbq skewers they all look like this but when yjh makes skeweres they look like normal ass skewers with#vegetables and everything#it's yjh the only person who has any culinary sense? the real answer is no. kdj is actually capable in the kitchen. the funnier answer is#that yjh was so fed up with being the only person in the universe to have taste buds and maybe a normal sized mouth that he spent an entire#regression turn learning how to perfect his cooking [this part at least is canon] just so he could convince at least one of his companions#to raise their standards and stop eating barely-chopped‚ unseasoned‚ straight off the bone monster meat#i think yjh would refuse to eat an apple unless it was peeled and sliced into cubes with little toothpicks#he wouldnt touch a sandwich until you passed it through a panini press#maybe it has something to do with diligence and intentionally putting effort into something often overlooked#its a lot of effort to cook delicious meals when the world is quite literally falling apart and reshaping itself but in a situation where#he doesnt even have control over his own death‚ he can only treat what he does have control over with the utmost diligence#cooking and eating good‚ healthy‚ SAFE food is something that is entirely his‚ i think#he doesnt need it to survive like fighting. its not a relic of his past that has lost its application like gaming. its a routine‚ a ritual#repeated daily#something that you do every day and by continuing to do it you create things that are more and more enjoyable. something that makes people#smile and feel satiated. something that gets everyone to sit close and share the joy of a single moment. a single meal#is it possible to get tired of that after repeating it so many times? every day? every day every month every year every turn#why doesnt he eat food made by other people?#because its not delicious#and the dumplings?#those were made by someone he loved. someone he loved put their time into mizing the filling and shaping the dough#someone he loves wants him to be safe and fed. and offered him dumplings that they made#was it delicious?
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#are we ready to have a conversation about the definition of “best goalie in the world” yet?#i'm being a bitch but i've held off on this#on the upside at least we were never shut out and we don't have to play fucking *******#to my first point this is the problem with not having a consistent league#international play is so limited that you cannot judge based on that and you cannot judge based on college#i mean tbt to last year's red stars#we should also have a conversation about how obsessed we are with shooting the puck low#and every other team has a couple of snipers#and if we sniped a little more instead of doing the fake outs we might be in a different place#im just so tired#and not to rub it in but we were never going to win the cup#like somehow every team plays their best against us#i hope erin ambrose still gets defender of the year#and i hope ******* ******* does not get 4 awards#like if you see someone coming at you 1-1 have you considered moving back in your crease a bit#i would also be interested to know if the order gets shaken up#because again if you are only playing internationally with the best defenders protecting you#then how much are you really tested#same could be said for campbell though#i maintain that montreal's biggest enemy is their brains#and he was way out of crease on a lot of these#and if you look at frankel or campbell's positioning they are never that far out#also we have to talk about the face offs being atrocious tonight#like i said i'm glad it's over#and like i said before i think i prefer the winning the league situation instead of the playoff setup#maybe minnesota pulls it out#but at the end of the day we are undefeated in regulation playoff hockey#brings me to another point which is would it not make more sense that you have to get 9 of 15 points in a playoff series#and so then the score would be 3-6 and we'd still be in it#like continue with the points system
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I really expressed this before but it's kinda sad I didn't find DSaF back when my sibling issues were at their peak bc I'd have been like straight up Branded if I met this guy who is a middle child and is rotting and has a strained relationship with his older brother and used to have to take care of his little sister who on top of everything is a redhead and 6 years old and is extremely guilty but also can have an awful relationship with her like my ass wouldn't have survived brother. My ass would have never came back.
#luly talks#me and Jack we're kindred souls and we'd have been more even so if I didn't get over my guilt#sad!#well i had a brother not a sister but he was 6 years old when i left and also a redhead for no reason#reason was i mean that our grandpa is a redhead but no one else was so the gene just popped back up I guess#but yeah like. i got over my brother pretty well but i used to be super depressed#i no longer think of them bc im tired of being disrespected lmao#the only one i haven't blocked is my older brother#you'd prob go a few years back in my tag 2022 even 23? and see me be mentally ill tho#having breakdowns over that shit#i mean i was robbed of my family but they see me as the villain so#our shit is more toxic admittedly#no need to explain the rotting thing also we all know every so often i start rotting#i was rotting hard a few yeaes back 21 or 22#like when you taste your mouth and you feel it when your hair thins when you're pale and big eyebags#sometimes your organs just start rotting with you still wearing them and that's that#sometimes death forgets to pick you up
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