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fairsweetlonging · 3 months ago

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system wardrobe malfunctions and small scenario pushers: exteme edition au

after his qi deviation, shen qingqiu starts working on slowly building up relations with his fellow peak lords and disciples; saving liu qingge in the caves, spoiling luo binghe rotten, freely praising his students, inviting the sect leader over for tea, he's a whole new person!

and yet... his friendliness levels aren't going up.

he knows it's a bit icky to judge his relations with other people based on numbers an alien entity is giving him, but he needs them to survive, and he swears that once he's above a certain threshold (somewhere between "civil" and "friendly", he figures), he will mute every and all notifications regarding it.

but they're just not going up. since his deviation he's at least managed to claw his way from "hostile" to "tolerant" with most of them, but some are somehow still stuck in the "aloof" section! they wouldn't even care if he died!

he just doesn't know what he's doing wrong; he understands these things take time, but it feels so bad when people refuse to sit next to him or sigh when they're assigned a mission with him, especially since it's not his fault.

now, it so happens that, one day, the system hears his woes and takes pity on him.

【 user seems to experience difficulty increasing character favor levels 】

you could say that

【 would host like to utilize our special deluxe package to activate 'The Path of Blossoming Hearts and Unspoken Affections' free of charge? ₊˚⊹♡ 】

though shen qingqiu isn't trustful of the system's antics, he can't deny that so far they have helped him well enough, and since it's free of charge with no penalties, wouldn't it be a waste not to use it? the title is a bit dubious, but was the original shen qingqiu not known for his frozen heart? for never sparing a single nice word to anyone? this could be his chance to let it blossom without the system nagging on his characterization.

【 accept optional mission? [yes]/[no] 】

he picks [yes].

two weeks later, he wishes he hadn't.

the package is devided into small scenarios that mostly appear at random, ranging from small dialogue challenges where he has to pick the right option (he really doesn't like those, the dehumanization of it makes his skin crawl), to the equivalent of two rivals getting locked in a room together.

the first few scenarios are minor and not very impactful, to the point where he's finished three of them and his favor count with qi qingqi has increased a whopping +2 (still "aloof") and that of wei qingwei +5 (still "tolerant").

his fourth scenario, however, reminds him of exactly why he should never accept gifts from strange screens floating in the sky.

he's on a nighthunt with liu qingge to slay a mirebeast that's been terrorizing travelers—an amphibious creature with thick, slimy skin, a crocodile tail and a leech-like mouth that shoots mucus when threatened... and shooting mucus it did.

while his clothes can easily be cleaned with a cleaning talisman, he never feels truly clean himself unless he actually bathes. luckily, there's a beautiful, glass-like pond nearby that's surrounded by natural demonic-repellent vegetation, a win! he's just draped his clothes over a nearby branch and submerged himself in the water, when the system rings out.

【 heads up! small scenario "Stolen Silks and Sunlit Waters" is about to begin! penalty: none. wishing user good luck (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) 】

hold up—stolen what.

stolen silks. his silks. stolen by a mossy-jade stag that happens to scratch its huge antles on the exact tree he hung his clothes on, which rattles the branch and causes his robes to fall exactly onto its head, spooking it into a gallop as it disappears into the forest.

how. how does that even happen.

shen qingqiu is just about to get out of the water when of course liu qingge chooses that exact moment to stomp into the glade looking for him, even though he should have been miles away to the village to ensure the people the beast is dead.

for anyone looking in from the outside, it's not a bad picture: shen qingqiu, with his hair pulled up and away from his slender neck, submerged to his (very bare!) pale shoulders in golden sunlit waters, surrounded by lotus flowers and lily pads. to liu qingge, this must be a terrible view, apparently—shen qingqiu can think of no other reason that would cause his face to flush so bright red.

liu qingge tosses his outer robe on the grass between them and turns resolutely around. it's only a bit insulting—is shen qingqiu not pretty enough to try and sneak a look at? even just a glimpse? meanwhile liu qingge is trying really hard to mentally recite the ethics sutra to not fixate on the sound of shen qingqiu getting out of the water (naked!!) or the rustle of fabrics as he wraps liu qingge's robe around his (naked!!!!) body. when liu qingge turns around he flushes an even darker shade as he sees shen qingqiu's bare legs and feet sticking out from under the robes.

"thanking shidi," says shen qingqiu, who notices none of this, as he pulls the robe a little closer around him, "for coming to this one's untimely rescue."

liu qingge grunts, turns, and walks away.

【 congratulations! liu qingge's favor increased. character satisfaction points +50. please continue to work hard! 】

shut up

【 ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა 】

they return to the sect victorious, but very embarrassed. the mirebeast gets all the blame. where his clothes are? well—uh, gone. the mucus dissolved them. yes he knows that's not how mucus works but it did this time okay?!!

yue qingyuan acts a bit strange seeing shen qingqiu wearing liu qingge's outer robes. he almost qi deviates when he finds out his shidi is wearing absolutely nothing under it. it's all very dramatic. apparently the sect is made up of people who shower with their clothes on or something.

【 ⁺‧₊˚bonus scenario!!˚₊‧⁺˖ interactive dialog quest: pick the best suited options to win additional favor points! 】

i don't like where this is going

"shidi?" yue qingyuan asks, looking at him with those big worried puppy eyes.

【 choice A: (demure) this shidi is cold. will you not invite me in at least?

choice B: what are you looking at?! mind your own business stupid old man!

choice C: i'm in love with liu qingge 】

WHAT

if he was drinking tea he would have spat it out, and then coughed himself to death. what the hell kind of options are these!!

【 system has based these options on what will earn (or lose!) user the most points. please pick one. 】

[ admin notes: option A will earn +60 points. option B will neither increase nor decrease points. option C will decrease -100 satisfaction points and increase +200 heartbreak points ]

shen qingqiu silently curses the system. option B is way out of line, even for the original shen qingqiu, who probably would insult yue qingyuan, but not with so little class. he doesn't even consider option C an actual option. and, well, he is cold. and wet. and almost naked. he would like a warm bath and some clothes. A it is then.

he doesn't like the way yue qingyuan's face light up when he grits out the dialog.

【 congratulations! yue qingyuan's favor increased. character satisfaction points +60! keep up the good work! 】

he can't keep doing this much longer.

unfortunately, he does have to keep doing this for much longer.

he's just about to go to bed when someone knocks on the door. luo binghe is already sleeping so he goes himself. just as he's about to open the door the system rings out—but it's too late.

shen yuan is used to wearing old tshirts to bed and no pants (he hates the feeling of his legs being restricted while he sleeps), so he doesn't really care when the only equivalent of this in pidw is a silk nightgown. his mother wore them, his sister wore them. hell, one of his brothers once bought one for fun and ended up using it for months. it's florally embroidered with puffy sleeves and reaches to his knees, that's decent enough, right?

【 heads up! small scenario "Dreamy Encounters at Dusk" is about to begin! good luck! 】

he has no idea what that's supposed to mean and he doesn't care. he opens the door, and it's mu qingfang. not... that unusual, but still.

"can this master help you?"

it takes mu qingfang a moment to remember what he's here for, it seems, because he stares at shen qingqiu for a good few seconds before raising an eyebrow like he's caught him doing something wrong.

"does shen-shixiong always answer the door like this?"

shen qingqiu glares back. "only when unsolicited guests come stumbling around my porch in the middle of the night."

"fair enough."

apparently he's here on behalf of yue qingyuan, who had asked him to do a post mission check up as soon as he was available, which is now. which yue qingyuan had apparently forgotten to relay to shen qingqiu himself. awesome.

he invites mu qingfang in (he can hardly close the door on him, it's late for him too!), and sits through the usual poking and prodding.

the system is prodding, too.

【 would user like some advice on how to maximize point earning? 】

【 ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀) system is only trying to help!! 】

i really don't need your help with this, thanks. i can keep a conversation on my own.

【 optional system booster: not mandatory. user may choose to decline this quest.

option 1: this one appreciates your care. the hardship is... unexpected. (look away shyly). i find it difficult to accept help sometimes, even when i need it.

option 2: i'm in love with you.

option 3: stand up and pretend to faint into his arms 】

shen qingqiu is about to spit blood—what the HELL is this!!! why do all your options make you look bipolar HUH??? and what's this about professing my love to people?!! why is that always an option??! this isn't a dating simulator, stupid system, they'll think i'm crazy!

【 all these options result in an increase of character satisfaction points (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) 】

HOW

【 (ó﹏ò｡) user seems misinformed about character preferences. [mu qingfang] likes to take care of people! 】

... i decline the quest. booster. whatever. i'll figure it out myself. and stop talking about him like he's some one dimensional character!

they hear stumbling coming from the little side room, then the creaking of floorboards. binghe peeks through the door, hair sleep-ruffled and his robes pulled on over his sleeping clothes.

"shizun?" he asks, worried, "what's wrong? why is mu-shishu here?"

【 ⁺‧₊˚bonus scenario!!˚₊‧⁺˖ interactive dialog quest: pick the best suited options to win additional favor points! 】

oh god, not again.

【 option A: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. go back to sleep.

option B: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. (invite him to sit next to you during the examination)

option C: (gently) nothing is wrong, binghe. this master is alright. mu-shidi is just keeping me company tonight. 】

huh. so you can give meaningful options that i would actually consider picking?

【 ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ 】

[admin notes: option A will decrease -100 points for luo binghe. option B will increase +20 points for luo binghe. option C will decrease -300 points for luo binghe, and increase +20 points for mu qingfang. option A & C increase luo binghe jealousy levels with 400 points].

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fluentisonus · 24 days ago

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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything

#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated #& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this #fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their #materials from somewhere #one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets #and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and #find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have #to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so #striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to #forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the #world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently #was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out #idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated #but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine #<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze #by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it #another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome #which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point #anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there #wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together #thoughts

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serpentface · 3 months ago

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This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.

#They are having an argument over 1) whether crops can be grown on the moons 2) what - if any - impact does this have on the feasibility #of an afterlife being located on the moons #Brakul is a partial convert to the Imperial Wardi faith but this mostly entails having adopted the seven faced God (and some #other elements of the belief system) into his worldview and participating in expected rites while retaining his central #ancestor veneration practices completely unchanged and mostly prioritized.#This doesn't actually cause much friction in of itself with the big exception being disagreements on the afterlife #Wardi practices surrounding death prioritize proper handling of the corpse and funerary rites in order to get the dead where they #need to be- death is a fraught transition from one state to another. analogous to birth. The role of the living is to get the dead through #this transition (preventing them from being stuck earthbound as earthbound ghosts - which is the Bad afterlife). Once the dead #make it to the moons that's it. They don't really interact with the living. There's plenty of conceptualization of what it's Like #in the lunar lands but the cultural priority is not even slightly on the Logistics of existence there.#Whereas the CORE of religious practice among the Hill Tribes is ancestor veneration - ancestors remain interactive with the living #and require/desire their continual support. They are conceptualized as having earthlike 'lives' where they eat and drink #and grow crops and herd livestock and they need the support of the living (in prayers and offerings) to do so prosperously.#There is a HIGH cultural priority on the logistics of their afterlife and it's self-apparent that the world of the dead needs fertile earth #to support them.#So like bottom line Brakul thinks there's no goddamn way that the moons could support an afterlife (they are described as #barren rock that was flung into the sky during creation and certainly Look that way)#and that the Wardi are just wrong about their afterlife's location. They probably go to the celestial fields (which are located #behind the moons and stars) like everyone else #And Janeys finds this aggravating and doesn't see his fucking point but has developed a nagging concern that Brakul Could be #partly right in that the celestial fields could Maybe exist in addition to the lunar lands.#So like maybe they aren't going to go to the same place when they die?#He's already terrified that he'll be stuck as an earthbound ghost and really doesn't want to be even further separated so #he figures he should make sure he gets himself dead and cremated at the same time as Brakul so they can navigate the #transitional period together.#Brakul is unconcerned because he figures that if Janeys actually does get stuck on those barren ass moons he can just kinda #Go Get Him #Ancestor spirits fly to the earth all the time and the moons would be a much shorter distance. Probably wouldn't be an issue.#Long story short these disagreements and underlying anxieties result in fights over whether you can grow corn on the moons or nah

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obstinaterixatrix · 10 months ago

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here are all the recs I posted for femslash february 2024...! each individual rec post can be found in my femslash feb recs tag. I actually thought I wasn't going to be able to do this because work got super chaotic, but in the end I couldn't bear to skip out on a leap year. that's a whole extra day for yuri.

last year I focused on official releases, so this year I wanted to focus on series that aren't technically officially available (plus a french-japanese film). fan translations are always a dicey for artists/translators/publishers/etc because obviously they need to get paid... but yuri's already such an overlooked genre that—in an official capacity—we end up with a couple drops from what's already a pretty small pool. I read hana to hoshi about a decade ago, and I keep submitting it to the seven seas survey for licensure! and yet!! no dice. and even when there are official releases, sometimes they just... disappear!? wish you were gone was licensed and then taken down, so for a while the only way to read it (if you missed out on buying it) was the fan translation. I think it's important to support artists and official releases, and also, to appreciate the thankless endeavor(/crime) of scanlation.

hope yall find something you like!

#femslash february #femslash feb recs #ff recs #recs #rambled a lot for this one lol #but like. yeah. honey & honey is imo a pretty culturally significant work #but I can't see any publishers picking it up for licensure #maybe for a recent autobio manga but certainly not one from 20 years ago #and from a marketing standpoint. it's 'hard' to push yuri as a genre.#bl has an obvious and profitable demographic (women)#m/f has an obvious and profitable demographic (women)#but--if you make a distinction between yuri and H (I do)--yuri doesn't really have an obvious and profitable demographic #so it's a lot harder to pitch yuri... which means it's a lot harder to even introduce yuri to a broader audience...#and thus the cycle continues...#plus there's the whole systemic misogyny embeded into a patriarchal society which devalues stories centered around women etc #anyway the POINT is. commit to yuri duty. be a yuri warrior. write femslash. hype femslash.

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curiosity-killed · 7 months ago

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the one thing i will say on the Trump verdict is I'm seeing a lot of posts about basically "how can we let a FELON run for PRESIDENT (and/or vote)" which is making me feel very "don't make me tap the sign" about why folks who've been convicted of felonies also deserve the right to run for office/vote and how creating categories of people who are not allowed to run for office/vote is a great way to incentivize pushing political opponents (or members of marginalized groups) into those categories in order to disenfranchise and disempower them

#i do think he should be disqualified under the 14th amendment but that's...not really what this trial was about #and i just would like folks to be a teensy bit more mindful of what you're talking about when ur like #''we're going to let a FELON run for PRESIDENT''#when like. if you get charged twice for having weed on you that could be a felony #(this is an oversimplification but like u get the point right. like US folks we know abt the injustice inherent in our ''justice'' system #and how historically that has & continues to be used to benefit folks just like trump #right?#like we know that folks convicted of felonies or formerly incarcerated people should not be excommunicated from the political system right?#it is important to me that us folks know this)#anyway this is my soapbox for the night #catch me next time when a) someone talks about how ADDICTS are inherently TERRIBLE or (more likely) b) ballet is portrayed stupidly in medi #personal

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drev-the-procrastinator · 2 years ago

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Like. ok

ok 15 12s from the juries and zero (0!!!!!) 12s from the public taking the win from 2 12s from the juries and 18 12s from the public. ok. ok. sure

#eurovision #esc 2023 #eurovision 2023 #käärijä #eurovision song contest #loreen #ig idk #also public vote for finland: no country gave less than 6 points. even in the jury votes sweden got some 4s and 5s #also like on a small scale easy example of how the jury system sucks: finnish jury: 12 points to sweden. finnish public: 0 points to sweden #a larger gap does not exist #am i salty? yes!! am i bitter? yes!!!! will i continue to be til the end of time? probably!!!#this sucks. if we couldn't even win this year with the 2nd most public votes ever received in esc history and all the hype. why even try #fucking juries #anyway!!!!! i am very sad and feel very bad for käärijä but he did amazing!!!!! we love you king ♡♡♡♡

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septimusmoonlight · 3 months ago

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You doing ok?

#i'm alive. simply being chewed upon by multiple things #work is more stressful than i'd like it to be. for instance i'm hoping that i submitted my time off notification for tomorrow correctly #because otherwise it might read as a no call no show and i would . like to continue having a job #now to be fair. i do have it on the system that i requested it at the beginning of the month and i emailed my supervisor about it last week #so even if i didn't submit it correctly i'm likely in the clear #but nonetheless. i also got a firm talking-to the other day and now i am on ✨thin ice✨ for dicking around too much #because they track ur idle time at my work (computer) and mine was Quite High so my supervisor was like man what the hell is this #but even though she was kind of baffled at me spending so much time dicking around #she couldn't even really be all that mad in the end because i'm still doing good numbers and have made no (zero) mistakes #so she was just like. it's kind of impressive that your numbers look this good when you literally have 50% idle time #so she goes imagine what you could do if you weren't wasting so much time #and yeah i can whip out some Really Good Numbrers when i put the effort in.#so the problem is not my numbers it's just that i'm not spending long enough doing my tasks for the day #but i don't want to drag out those tasks intentionally so i've just been upping my own standards/goals #as much as i hate giving any more of my brain power than is necessary to giant corporations #it's still easy to feel smug after you get Talked To and then immediately turn around and show off #like yeah i coulda been doing this good the whole time. literally pulling up by 20 points. i just didn't want to.#trying to keep everyone's expectations low but accidentally toed the line of um. not working enough to keep my job #...anyway. EAS national weather system issued a . hi #i haven't forgotten about all of you i'm just having trouble tracking all my shit that i got going on ✨ yaaaaaaay #im gonna post things on AO3 soon. i promise. my weakness is that i get sidetracked trying to unwind from work #...i know i said 'soon' last time. but this time for real #asks #not sexy #anonymous

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rotomartsblog · 5 months ago

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The reason EAH is a children’s franchise is because only a child who Doesn’t Understand Things could possibly consider Royal being the right stance

#like the show will try to push that both rebels and royals have a point (case in point the whole ‘roybel’ thing) but it doesn’t work #because in the end it’s made clear which choice is right #like being royal is only shown to benefit the privileged with ‘good endings’ while being a rebel is for the benefit of everyone #and I’ve seen some claims that people can be royal by wanting their own destiny but letting others choose #but that specific line of thinking is present in maddie and cedar to some extant and they’re literally two of the main rebels in the series #identifying as a royal is saying ‘I think everyone has to follow their story no matter what ending they get’#and being a royal made sense when the idea of they’re being consequences for going against the stories was present #but those possible consequences are never really explored and in the end it turns out they’re isn’t any consequences actually #and then what’s the point of identifying either royal or rebel after the storybook pages get ripped out?#everyone chooses their own destiny but there isn’t really a system anymore anyways so both titles become devoid of meaning #so what’s the point of a character being a ‘rebel’? you’re not rebelling against the norm by choosing your own path #or believing others should because that’s what everyone gets now #and what’s the point of a character being a ‘royal’? the stories don’t have power anymore so what’s the point in everyone continuing #to play them out anymore other than maintaining status #the only people who have actual credibility for being royal are the fairies cause they’ll literally disappear but that only applies to othe #fairies and isn’t actually established in the show so how canon is it?#rotomtalks #ever after high #eah #MH/EAH

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pluralhottakes · 3 months ago

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Love this blog already!

Anyways hot take, just because someone used something to hurt you, or someone of a group hurt you, doesn't mean that thing isn't necessarily real

A endogenic system hurt you? Well shit! That sucks i'm so sorry! You... Suddenly decided that whole group of people isn't real because of that?.... that ENTIRE GROUP OF PEOPLE aren't real cause YOU were hurt by a SINGLE one of them (or a singular system)

We aren't a hivemind, i cant stop whoever from hurting you???

Same goes for other things! Like Tulpas! And System Travel!!!

It just gives the same vibes as when i was a edgy 12 year old and decided i hate EVERYONE because a few people were shitty to me

#thank you for enjoying this blog!#we hope you will continue to enjoy it!#THIS ENTIRE POINT THOUGH #like I've seen so many anti-endos go “omg an endogenic system abused me so I hate all of them”#that doesnt mean they are all abusers #just that one fuck that hurt them #seriously like its getting old #member of x group hurt me so they all suck and i hate them now #no get over it the entire group is not at fault for your trauma/falling out/hate because of what happened #endo friendly #plural community #pluralgang #plurality #pluralpunk #pro endo #mixed origin system #traumaendo #endogenic safe #syscourse

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divorceblogger · 2 months ago

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remembered that older and more powerful vampires reinforce their heirarchy by killing or abusing younger vampires. the metaphor is not ambiguous at all.

#these older vampires never die and pass on like human parents. they live on well into your lives and continue to influence the way your #belief systems are shaped. good god.#text #vamps #iwtv #* younger vampires Most of the time because I know people are going to jump to point out exceptions immediately lol.

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us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2 · 7 months ago

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a quick reminder to everyone

I have SEVERE LEARNING DISABILITIES

I am literally disabled because of my learning disabilities, I have faced literal descrimnation because of it.

everytime you call us retarded or a retard you are ACTIVLY upholding the systems in which I am trapped in.

I take more offence in being called a retard than anything due to the literal DECADES of systematic abuse and descrimnation from the medical system, every single government resource, and almost all school alternatives.

fuck you greatly if you use these words against us, I have to live in a country where they hate people like me and would rather us dead than to do literally anything to help people like us.

call us what you will, but I will never call anyone retarded because it’s a basic decency reserved for everyone.

I’m a very happy retard, fuck your ableism!

I will happily live and love and learn even if THE LITERAL GOVERNMENT doesn’t want me too.

(yeah being a mid supports autistic with other learning disabilities and disabilities in general that made me unable to attend a school just means I deserve to die. 100% legit I deal with this literally all the time always fuck the Australian government)

so again fuck you all greatly, for using a literal slur against me one that has been used against me since I was a baby.

fuck you all, genuinely.

did I forfeit my rights to be treated as a human being the moment I had a bit of trouble learning things? Because if I did I’d like to break someone’s teeth with a brick.

Edit: the language and lines between what the fuck developmental disabilities and intellectual disability are is confusing as fuck.

I have gotten very confused between the 2 because they are grouped together half the time.

My apologies to everyone for being utterly confused where I fall because it is extremely confusing to figure out, and internationally it varies wildly according to my brief reading.

I did not mean to be mean or anything I just was genuinely going off what I’ve been told most my life lol.

Shout out to my developmentally disabled brethren you are loved

#-pop #activism stuff #disability #Learning disabilities #learning disability #dyslexia #anticapitalism stuff #anarchism stuff #mental health stuff #dysgraphia #adhd #autism #I’m actually somewhat on the intellectually disabled spectrum lol. Not that it’s changed my tune (I got other severe devoplmental disorders #I still had to experience insane ableism my entire life and like continue to into my adulthood with no sign of it stopping soon #like genuinely fuck some people. Those are not your words to use #r slur mention #r slur tw #(idk what even counts but man I have so much wrong with me. and like it's not like this shit does not run in my family LOL my bisnonna was-#actually illiterate and had severe learning disabilities lol she was awesome and made a life for herself so again this shit does not stop-#anyone it just sucks because the education system is fucked screw that shit. idk :shrug: I've never actually looked at my medical record-#I actually should because I have a strong feeling I'm diagnosed with some crazy shit that none of my family remembers bc we just have shit-#memory (for my parents it's the trauma ngl. for me it's also the trauma and the ADHD LOL)#so at this point I just have been disabled by fuck do I know there's literally more maladies that run in my family than I can describe. lik #it's not that weird for me specifically to have severe learning disablities and also devoplmental ones it makes sense with what I know.#I was literally a tinny tiny failure to thrive child actually. who could barely eat anything due to severe allergies and more shit!

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roguetelepaths · 1 year ago

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...so guess who's rewatching star trek discovery

#star trek #star trek discovery #section 31 #i don't actually mind section 31 as a narrative element it just needs to be done right #and it rarely has been since its introduction #the narrative purpose section 31 serves is to be like 'hey maybe the Federation Isn't Perfect'#or like 'maybe it's got some systemic problems that are being allowed to continue because they benefit the people in power'#if you just treat it like another part of starfleet/the federation that just has a few bad apples it loses that narrative purpose #because the entire point of it is that it IS the bad apple and it IS spoiling the bunch simply by existing as itself #and that if the federation wants to have any chance at all of actually being what it claims to be #then section 31 and what it represents needs to be excised #you simply CANNOT have 'unambiguous postscarcity utopia' and 'omnipresent unrestricted intelligence agency' at the same time #at least not if you want to have any degree of narrative consistency #the last time i watched this arc in discovery was before i got into ds9 (and met mars!! ily airota) and it's almost unbearable now

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averlym · 1 year ago

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whshdfhfjf.,,,

#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur #look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly #because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to #ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts #anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately #a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle #lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix #fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material #mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent #a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort #and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one #here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try #like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still #they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1 #of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but #thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where #you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the #competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even #even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's #'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h #her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll #eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's #it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe #adamandi

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carbonateddelusion · 7 months ago

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somehow I always feel paranoid when I do sexual things with my ocs. reasonably I shouldn't be, I'm an adult, I tag properly so people can avoid it, but I'm still a little hesitant every time

#i think it's because i have some sex-repulsed/minor mutuals #which like. minors can't see it anyway if i'm using the new content warning system correctly nd they didn't lie about their age #but also why would you go out of your way to look at it if you're a minor who doesn't want to see it...#anyway.#point is i'm an adult and i should be less scared about it bc sexuality has been and will continue to be a part of my ocs' stories #rox rumblings #me things

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yeetspace · 5 months ago

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Something I said that was extremely poignant and quick way to shut someone who was trying to moralize voting third party was reminding them well two things from two separate comment sections

A point I've heard many a Time from many different people so I will not try and pretend like the opinion is mine, the people who think that voting third party and being revolutionaries will actually work are able-bodied people who have never felt the sting of systemic prejudice or just a single of the MANY deeply intersectional prejudices and So can only conceptualize themselves as the katniss, the main character from maze runner cuz I don't remember his name, that type of shit. They want to be the one that walks up on the bodies and is the one that finally is the one that does the thing. The problem is is they never once conceptualize who those bodies are. And we people who would be in that pile that they would be climbing on to finally "win the day", would really rather make the option that would allow us to work together instead of violent destructive coup that will leave no one left that was actually in the groupings that most of the previous choices were made to try and mitigate the dangers towards.

Cuz now we shift over to the other point, people are acting like the disabled, or queer, or POC or all of the above folk who are desperately not wanting people to choose the option that will actually just directly lead to their death and or removal of Rights are fear-mongering or being manipulative for daring to be mean or sound too upset about it. It's literally just fucking tone policing and it's wild that people are just pretending like it's not. When disabled queer folk tell you that this person that is actively trying to get us killed wants us killed and it said such themselves you should probably not choose the option that's going to make them have the absolute power to do whatever the fuck they want including and directly bleeding to the exact thing they have only said they will do with that power alongside also obfuscating any sort of information to its people and making things worse worse just everywhere that we have our fucking decrepit creepy ass American fingers in.

But that's also my third thing I completely forgot about this one Joe was voted in so that the able-bodied people capable of making changes and doing things could go and try and do things and then none of those things happened and less happened actually and things were taken away, And yet somehow people are trying to say that the people who are only voting this option because the last time the last option that was voted to do anything to help us just no one did anything the entire time and now we're the bad guys for the situation that happened cuz we wanted to vote in the guy that was supposed to just be there cuz he was inept enough to where the people could try and work with the communities that needed help and then none of that fucking happened and things just got worse and yet somehow the people that are actively suffering the most and we're only trying to get help because of the choices made by others are now the ones at fault for daring to want to make the choice that won't lead to their direct deaths. Like Jesus fucking Christ get over yourself vote blue.

#kamala harris #vote harris #You're not morally Superior for not choosing #because not choosing equals a no vote and a no vote directly goes to the evil of the two.#All information that's being spread around at this point is basically just misinformation. One of these two is a convicted felon who wants #More crime more murder more death more bigotry and actively wants to help continue the genocides going on already #The other isn't a cop because that's just blatantly a lie she was a prosecutor lawyers aren't cops last time I checked #And also nearly every single person she“ prosecuted” were actually sent through systems meant to strictly rehabilitate #as in the thing the prison systems don't naturally do meaning she went out of her way to make sure that these systems were obfuscated #So that these people could actually get some sort of genuine reform instead of just being placed into a slave labor system #Like holy fuck just because she's not the perfect possible candidate ever possible does not mean that you should just not choose at all #Not choosing at all or choosing one of the options we know won't matter because of the systems that work above us is choosing to kill people

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