#haven’t posted at least one of these before

[gamarancianne]

Azriel x reader - In Between, part IV

Summary: waking up, you realise Lucien was completely right: the man sleeping beside you is an abuser. But how will you escape him and why does this shadow seem to be belonging with you ?

Warning: angst, lots of angst, mention of SA attempt, fight, mention of blood, kinda fluff if you squint, so much sweet Azzy you could die, but also threatening scary Azzy, nightmares, not proofread sorry, my English of course.

Note: again I wholeheartedly apologise for the late posting. I’m so so so happy to get back !!! Here I met 4 there surely will be a part 5 and maybe a part 6 or an epilogue. But for this one, I’m not really sure I like about how it turned out. Let me know in the comments I love when you have something to say ! Just remember to be nice and polite please ! 🙏🏻 love you all ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Part I, part II, part III

The morning came quickly. Too quick for your liking. The second you opened your eyes, Aaron’s mouth was on you. You tried to push him back but seeing his face you understood that you were in a very bad position : his eyes were full of lust and hunger and they didn’t seem to have anything stopping them.

Panic flooded in your veins and grabbing the sheets to have something covering you, you ran away from your bedroom. He followed you closely, screaming, and yelling that you were such an ungrateful slut, whom he had been too nice to wait for and that if you wanted it or not, he would take you anyway.

Fear had paralysed you and he caught you quickly before pining you roughly to the wall. His hands were on every inch of your skin. It felt disgusting, his mouth leaving saliva behind on the column of your neck, on your collarbone, your chest.

His hands were now dangerously closed to your core, and in a last moment of desperation you kicked him in the balls, pushed him off and ran in your bathroom.

Closing the door, he was already banging against it, screaming like a mad man. He was so strong that the door almost gave in twice. Fear had gripped you and you curled yourself in the corner of your bathtub, crying desperately for a different ending of your life than this.

You didn’t want it to end now : you hadn’t met your mate, your friendship with lucien was on thin ice because of you and you haven’t even apologised. You regretted lots and lots of moments in your possibly missed life : you regretted not being able to see Nyx grow up, to continue your friendship with Feyre and last but not least you regretted not having kissed those beautiful lips that belonged to Azriel… Lucien was so right about you. How could he know you so much when you sign even yourself ? Of course you didn’t want this psycho of male threatening to abuse you, as he exactly said the other day, you still weren’t over Azriel. You still wanted Azriel, you needed him with every bit of your body and soul. They aches for the beautiful male. And now it was too late. The mere thought made you crying even more that you didn’t sense the comforting and cold presence caressing your skin.

Not even minutes later the shoutings suddenly stopped and they transformed into pain, even agony screams.

Big steps were heard behind your door and you didn’t even want to know who they belonged to : you had already accepted your fate. So you closed your eyes and waited for death to come like an old friend. But it never arrived, darkness and emptiness never found you. Strong arms wrapped around your shivering frame with care and attention, and your eyes bursted open when you sensed the familiar feeling of burn scars on your bare skin. Hazel sought for your eye colour with so much more worry than you could ever imagine. His mesmerising and deep eyes went down on your chest and shot up immediately with some light pink crawling under them : the sheet had managed to slide off your shoulder and it didn’t cover you enough anymore. Ashamed you quickly out your hands to cover yourself a bit and draped the fabric better on your skin.

As Azriel walked out of your bathroom, you saw Aaron, hurt and unconscious lying on the floor of your apartment. He was in a bad state : blood coated his bruising face and you caught sight of two teeth or three inches away.

No words came out from Azriel’s mouth as he took off for the House of Winds and when he arrived. Even when Cassian and Rhysand came to him completely confused and panicked at your appearance. But he seemed to throw some orders at Rhys in his mind and definitely sent a warning glare to the long-haired man newt to him.

He brought to a room, a big dark one but still full of light. You were delicately put on a silky enormous mattress and given a fresh glass of water. Still no one spoke a word and you didn’t even register when you started to fall in Morpheus arms.

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Sweat covered your body and a deep frown adorned your face when Azriel came back in his room to check on you. You were moving and kicking in your sleep letting fearful pleas and whines out of your presses mouth. Azriel ran to you trying to wake you up. He knew better than to let you in the horrible trap that can be your own fears all grouped in nightmares.

Tears stained your cheeks as your body went still and as your worst scenario faded away to leave room to the reality happening before you. Azriel was watching you closely, his hand caressing your still trembling frame and his voice shushing you. The sobs couldn’t stop and you wrapped tightly your arms around his broad shoulders. Azriel never stopped your embrace and whispered :

“I’m here now, everything’s fine. You���re not in danger anymore, you are here with me and everything will be alright”

Rocking back and forth you calmed down a bit before responding.

“I thought.. I thought I was going to- to…

-I know. But nothing will happen now, he will never be able to even lay a finger on you.”

With a shaky and raspy from all the crying, voice, you asked :

“You promise ? You’re sure ?

-I am and I promise.”

A strange tingling behind your ear and behind his as well marked your promise now forever engraved on your skins.

Since it was the middle of the night, you rapidly fell asleep again, in the comfort and security of Azriel’s arms. He tried not to sleep, but ended up doing so with the exhaustion from the panic and fear he had felt deep in his bones for hours today. You probably wouldn’t even realise, but he had been so scared for you when the shadow came to warn him about what was happening to you. He had run and flown the fastest he could to come find you, knocking off some furniture in his trail. He couldn’t possibly imagine another man laying forcefully his hands on you without your consent : no that was not going to happen, never, not when he was still breathing and his heart still beating.

Sound asleep, you were woken up by the sounds of dishes in the kitchen. What had happened last night slams back into you full force : Aaron and his attempt to … no you didn’t want nor need to think about it. You observed your environment, the dark room of Azriel, minimalist like him : a bed, a closet and some armoires but not much more. Except a mirror, a big mirror, standing in front of the enormous bed you were in. Your mind started to wander to the use of the said mirror just in front of a king-size bed costumed to big Illyrian wings, full of silky sheets so sweet at the touch…No no no ! You couldn’t go there stop that ! Your cheeks and neck heat up instantly. Shaking your head to make these obnoxious thoughts go away, you made your way outside the room and into the kitchen. There he was, beauty and charm both standing before you, making you both breakfast you assumed. He stiffened and turned to look at you when he sensed you. His hazel eyes trailed down your body to your thighs not covered by anything and quickly tuned back to continue what he was doing. You hadn’t noticed but you were wearing a big and loose tee shirt that arrived to the middle of your thighs and a pair of boxers that were far from belonging to you. ‘Oh shoot!’ Embarrassment ran through your whole body of the situation : how could you have not seen that you were wearing his clothes ? But wait… how did you even get into his clothes ? Last time you remembered you were… oh cauldron boil you ! Your cheeks and hid behind your hand at some search of reassurance.

“I tried not to look if that’s what you’re wondering about.

-Thanks, I guess. For that and the rescue and everything actually.

-It’s okay really. About that, how are you doing, do you want to maybe talk about it or not, it’s up to you. I- I don’t want you to think I’m forcing you into something.

-Don’t worry Azriel, I’m okay, at least I guess I am.”

Silence returned and he placed two plates full of eggs, bacon, pancakes and fruits in them, on the counter, which you were seated to on a stool.

You ate in silence, enjoying a good meal after a whole day being asleep without eating.

“Who was he ? Azriel asked at of nowhere.

-What ?

-Who was he ? And why was he in your apartment ?

-His name is Aaron, I’ve seen him a lot these past few weeks. He slept at mine the night before.

-Like a date ?

-Yes like a date. And no I’m not going to tell you details of our night. But the morning came and just as I woke he was on me and I couldn’t do anything. And by the way, how did you even know I was in danger ?

-One of my shadow stayed with you after babysitting Nyx, despite me trying to get it back, and it came to me to warn me when you were in your bathroom.

-Where is he now ?”

Azriel’s look darkened and he didn’t answer you.

“Az, where is he now ? You repeated your question, articulating each word.

-You don’t want to know. He’s being dealt dont worry if that’s what is your concern.

-Oh..-“

As you were about to continue Cassian, followed quickly by Feyre barged in the kitchen. Feyre was the first hugging you.

“I am so so so sorry you had to live that, and I am so sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

She had tears in her eyes and still hoped that this was all a bad joke, that it never happened to you. Cassian was a close second to swim you in his arms for a big bear hug.

“Don’t worry, with Rhys and Az we’re examining all the possibilities to make the bastard regret what he’s done to you.

-Thanks to you both.

-Yn, are you alright ? Feyre asked.

-Yeah I am, just feeling a bit empty but I am.”

You smiled at he worried face to prove what you were saying.

“Don’t hesitate to ask any of us, if you need anything.

-Yes I promise, but I don’t need anything for now… Actually, do you know where Lucien is ? And if he-…

-Yes he’s aware, and feeling guilty about it but didn’t want to tell me why. He’s in his room here in the House of Wind because he didn’t to be too far from you in case you needed him.”

You silently thanked her and sent a last thankful look to Azriel as you walked away to find your dear friend.

You don’t even know how much time you spent in front of his door not knowing if you really had the guts to open it. As you put your hand on the doorknob, it opened and a sleep deprived red haired man appeared in front of you, shock adorning his features from seeing you. In a second you were in his arms and booths of you were crying so much that you were soaking each other’s shirt.

“I’m sorry”

You said at the same time.

“No Lu, I am really I am. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve understood your point of view and should not have treated you the way that I did. You’ve always been so good to me and all I have done is be such a brat to the bestest friend I’ve ever had. I am so so sorry.

-As I am. You are completely forgiven for what you’ve said, even if I can’t say that it didn’t affect me.

-Yes I completely understand and I promis I will make up to you.

-I really am sorry too. I should have stayed and not yelled at you to tell you what I saw. I am sorry about that. I knew this guy was bad. I knew it !

-Yes, you were completely right. Again I apologise.

-Everything is forgotten now. And fortunately because I missed you braiding my hair.”

Cries transformed in laughs and hugs s and kisses from happiness of having finally found again your platonic soulmate.

You spent all day in Lucien’s room telling him about your babysitting week with Nyx and Azriel, about Aaron and what had happened. You avoided the parts where Azriel and you had slept tangled with each other or where you had made a bargain in the middle of the night, curling against him.

You left the House of Wind in the late afternoon with a pained Azriel, whose touch lingered on you a few seconds when he flew you down. The same shadow wrapped around your wrist and another one around your ankle.

You and Lucien has strolled around Velaris for the evening, you had tested out a little pastry shop near the Rainbow and had joked and laughed on the bridge of the Sidra.

You both walked to his flat, a mutual understanding that you didn’t have the strength to go back to yours tonight. Before opening the door, you looked at the night sky, two stars caught your attention, one brighter than the other, that seemed a bit off tonight. Your hand felt drawn to your new tattoo behind your ear and gasped when your fingers made out the pattern now engraved on your skin : two shining stars that seemed orbiting around each others until they reached the other and became one.

“Lu ?

-mmmh yes ?

-I think he’s my mate.”

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Taglist:

@mirandasidefics @63angel @leeknows-wife @thehighlordishere @annaaaaa88 @starsinyourseyes @oucereeng @wallacewillow0773638 @kalulakunundrum @lilah-asteria @samuelseoswife

[glitter-stained]

Jason Todd Meta: My opinion on the csa headcanon

Does Jason's behaviour suggest he was a victim of csa?

There is very little, in terms of clinical signs, that’s going to point to csa specifically, because most symptoms, for psychiatric disorders, aren’t specific to one disorder or cause. One thing that’s usually a good hint would be children making very sexual statements/references/jokes/behaviours that are very inappropriate in context (a good example of this would be Roman Roy from Succession); night terrors are bed wettings amongst children/teenagers over a certain age. But that is absolutely not necessary: many, if not most victims of csa don’t display these specific signs, and a twelve years old that suffers from night terrors is not necessarily a victim of csa. The one thing that tells you for sure, in a person with trauma, that they have been a victim of csa, is that they’re telling you they have been a victim of csa. I’m insisting on that part because there’s a whole bunch of therapists (cough cough psychanalysts) that will tell you confidently that your psychiatric symptoms stem from a childhood sexual trauma (cherry on top of the shit cake if it’s incestuous) that you didn’t know about because you’ve repressed it. I repeat, that’s bullshit. If you meet a clinician who tells you that, RUN. So, a warning: this is probably the least “psychological analysis” of my “Jason psychological analysis posts”, because Jason’s symptoms do not allow us to conclude formally for or against a history of sexual abuse. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do some meta, make sure we're on the same page with what's analyzed here, some textual analysis, discuss what the csa headcanon does and does not imply in terms of his behaviour. I think it’s a good idea to start with it so we know where we’re standing with our analysis, regardless of the fact it’s maybe not the most interesting in terms of psychopathology and neuropsychology.

A couple of disclaimers:

I only talk about the comics I want to talk about. This is for two reasons, which are that 1) I do what I want and if I don’t like/don’t find something interesting, I’m not gonna waste time on it; and 2) I’ve been reading comics for a couple of months only, and there are, like, a lot of them. If there are comics you wanna see analysed under that lense, feel free to suggest them! I might not want to, but it also could be that I haven’t read them yet. Additionally, I'm not interested in questioning the morality of Jason's actions here. Ethics are fun, and I like talking about them sometimes, and morality sometimes has a place in talks about demonization but largely speaking this isn't the space for that. I separate talk about morality and psychology stuff as much as I can for a reason, so if you are looking here for excuses for his behaviour or arguments as to why he is a bad person, you're in the wrong place. Moral judgement is irrelevant here for the most part.

On the events of Red Hood: Lost Days:

Jason has, at some point in the comics, been a victim of csa. When Talia kisses Jason before pushing him off a cliff right after he got out of the Lazarus Pit, and when she initiates sex with him in Lost Days, that’s not consent!! That’s a grown woman taking advantage of a traumatized teenager who is, on top of that, deeply indebted to her. That’s a predatory act, with a steep power imbalance, it’s sexual assault, and on top of that there’s an element of suggested pseudo-incest. That decision was retconned, and thank god, because it was a brutal assassination of Talia’s character based on a good bit of racism, and also because the way it was portrayed doesn’t make it clear that Jason is a victim in a situation rather than that super annoying trope of “teenage guy gets to bang a hot MILF and hahaha lucky him”, writing a male character in a situation of SA without acknowledging it as SA or taking it seriously is one of the tropes I hate most, it reinforces stigmatisation and isolates victims. For all of these reasons, I’m not gonna include that element in my analysis, but it’s important to note that if you do include those scenes in your conception of it, then Jason is undeniably a victim of csa and everything discussed about it applies to him.

What if it were a lie?

I’ve said it before (and I’ll say it again), I deeply, violently hate headcanons/tropes where a character lies about being a victim of csa (whether it’s for manipulation, personal gain, any reason really I don’t care). It’s rare as fuck in real life, however it’s a common trope that feeds into fear of being wrongfully accused that causes push-back and increases social stigmatization. CSA is a painful thing associated with intense feelings of shame and already a deep fear of not being believed. Imagine making a considerable effort to seek help after something terrible happened/is happening to you, and you have to brave your fear of not being believed on top of that, and once you’ve made all that effort you get rejected and villainized because it’s just easier for the person you’re reaching out to not to believe it. So I’m awfully weary of this type of headcanon, and I think a general rule of thumb is “if your interpretation of what the character is saying is that he’s talking about how he was abused, especially if he’s talking about sexual assault, then it happened.” If you don’t like that, if you don’t feel like that’s good representation, then you can question the story, think it should be retconned, or rethink your interpretation of what the character says if it’s ambiguous, but hcing that the character lied about his assault is not a hypothesis we’re going to accept here no matter what. So we can start by scratching that one out: Jason never lies about being a victim of csa, or wilfully hints at it even though that’s untrue, at any point.

Two other ideas I’ve seen floating around that I think are worth mentioning:

No, just because Jason lived in the streets as a kid doesn’t mean the only way he survived was through underage prostitution. I genuinely don’t understand that idea, yes being a street kid makes you extremely vulnerable, yes it makes the risk of resolving to underage prostitution to survive higher but it’s absolutely not a fatality. That idea is, quite frankly, weird. Do you automatically assume if a real life person tells you they were in the streets for some time at a kid that they are a victim of csa? Also, I've seen the idea go around that because some people have a strong reading/hc of Jason as bi (which I have no problem with I love bi Jason), that would be an argument in favour of the csa hc. Please don’t do that. There’s no link between queer sexual orientations and childhood sexual abuse, that’s a harmful myth that we should work to deconstruct or, at the very least, not continue to vehiculate.

Another important thing to keep in mind: childhood sexual abuse =/= childhood sexual trauma.

Now, a traumagenic situation is a situation that might induce trauma (so development of, acute stress disorder, ptsd, cptsd, derealization, any traumatic pathology really). These situations exist on a continuum of probability to be traumatized by this situation. For example, a flood, a car accident, witnessing a murder and being sexually assaulted are all traumagenic situations, but the probability of developing trauma from them are very different. It hinges on personal, situational, social, and environmental risk factors (that have nothing to do with being weak, anybody can develop trauma). A definition for traumagenic situations can be found in the diagnostic criteria for ptsd in the dsm-5:

A. “Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

1. Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s).

2. Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others.

3. Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental.

4. Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains; police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless this exposure is work related.”

Note that the this last criteria has been added from the DSM-5 in order to explain cases of PTSD observed in at-risk jobs like cops exposed to repeated detailed child abuse, first responders collecting human remains, or, crucially, vigilantes repeatedly exposed to brutal crimes. This means that Jason, when he works on the Dumpster Slasher case, when he is horrified to find Gloria in the immediate aftermath of her rape (and later finds her dead body, because witnessing the consequences of these traumatic events is also an important component of that second-hand trauma), is being exposed to a very traumagenic situation. As I said before, that doesn’t necessarily mean you will experience trauma (thank fuck for that), but there are factors that influence that. SA related situations has an already pretty high probability of inducing trauma. On top of that, age is a big factor in that: the younger you are, the less resources, emotional regulation, development and coping mechanisms to face the traumagenic event you have (though there is such a thing as “too young to have PTSD" -when your memory is simply not developed enough for the memory to traumatize you because you will not remember the event.) At fifteen, with his memory fully developed but his brain going through so much changes because of teenagehood and his past history, Jason would be at risk. On top of that, you’re more at risk to get traumatized if you’re already stressed out when the event happens, so Jason’s mental state at this point in his robin run is also a risk factor. All to say, it’s very plausible for Jason to have sexual trauma without being a victim of sexual abuse in relation to canon events. Besides, in headcanon territory when it comes to Jason’s childhood before Robin, there are so many ways to be exposed to sexual violence : witnessing/finding his mother being a victim (considering the position of extreme vulnerability Catherine was in), witnessing assault in the streets, being the victim of attempted SA and escaping, watching street kids get picked up and later find their bodies/being told by other kids, as a cautionary tale, in excruciating detail, testimonies of their own assault… Or for example, if we’re thinking about Arkham Knight, being constantly threatened with SA, it being hinted and joked about and hanging over him like a sword of Damocles is something I could see Joker and other inmates do that could definitely induce sexual trauma even if it doesn’t happen ; what matters most, in trauma, is that the fear is real. Mechanically, when we’re looking at the way trauma works even on a biological level, the overwhelming fear is at the core of the pathology. (This is also why you can develop PTSD after a psychotic episode.) Like, my point isn’t that one of these things happened to Jason, or that he has to have sexual trauma from the events of the Diplomat’s Son or anything -mostly just that this is a possibility, something very serious that happens and an important nuance that I never see in discussions on the csa headcanon, and while it’s not exactly what the debate is about, I think it’s something important to ponder.

Do you consider the csa hc to be canon?

So, there are a lot of Jason stories, and I’m very pro “not take in account what is said in comics you dislike in your conception of canon” because if I did that absolutely no bat character would be readable, I have to believe that no character is defined by their worst writers. And boy, does Jason have a lot of bad writing… On top of the personal retcons, there are also the canon retcons: like Battle for The Cowl is retconned… Unless someone decides to reinject/revamp it into the narrative (please don’t please don’t it’s irrecuperable let it lay with the Flying Todds where it belongs). So, let’s see. There are three writers/arcs that imply/mention the csa hc: Starlin’s writing of Jason’s post-crisis Robin Run (canon though some stuff in it seems to have been retconned), Winick’s writing in Green Arrow: Seeing Red (canon as far as I know), and Battle for the Cowl (retconned). It’s worth noting that one of those are considered to be foundational works for Jason’s character (Jason’s post crisis Robin Run and Starlin’s part in it), and another was written by Winick, who wrote the other two foundational Jason stories: Under The Red Hood and Red Hood: Lost Days. On a personal level, I’m very mitigated about what I like and accept about it. I base my whole love and characterization of Jason about his post-crisis Robin Run, I love that little guy so much, Starlin’s take on Jason’s Robin Run is absolutely canon to me (which does not mean I like Starlin as a writer, thank you very much). On the other hand of the spectrum, the only reason Battle for the Cowl isn’t my least favourite comic ever is because The Killing Joke exists, absolutely not canon, get this thing away from me. And then in the middle, my feelings on Seeing Red (on the entirety of Winick’s Jason really) vary depending on the day, because I do like a revenge story that challenges the status quo with tropes of “bad victim” and it sets up Jason as a character based on love rather than morals which I adore, but there are also some elements of psychophobia in the writing that I (who approach stories through the filter of psychopathology first and foremost) can’t just look past, and also the way it intertwines with classist stereotypes. So do I consider Seeing Red to be canon? In good faith, yes, but whether I’ll accept it as such really depends on the day. In terms of the csa headcanon: it’s heavily hinted in BTFC but not outright said, it’s there as a undercurrent in Starlin’s run because of his intention (to make Jason die of AIDS). And then we have Seeing Red. Basically Jason lists elements about Mia’s life, including her past with underage prostitution (so, just to be very clear, csa), and says they’re very similar, having both lived on the streets, and understand having to do bad things when it’s necessary. This is not the same as saying “I was a victim of csa”, and what he’s saying could be interpreted differently (we know that he was stealing tires, and “only what he needs to survive”, so he could have been referencing small-time theft.) So, it could be a reference to something else, I totally understand why some people want to interpret differently. It just… Feels like such a weird and weak argument to be equating boosting tires to underage prostitution, to me it’s very ooc (in comparison to UTH Jason), and it would feel like weak writing from someone like Winick. Aka it’s not technically canon, and you don’t have to accept it as such(I understand the mentality of "I'm rejecting this interpretation because it feels like demonization of csa victims" perfectly), but personally I think it takes a lot from Jason’s character in Seeing Red and from this story in general.

[slowcatsisland]

I love your Post about Laws ideal type. 💯😍Do you see him more with a boy or girl?

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A/N: omg I love this question sm bc regardless of what points I say it’s ambiguous and up to the audience’s interpretation and ultimately Oda’s however I seriously doubt Law would have a significant other in the canon timeline. Ty Ty for asking I had a ton of fun writing this out!

- I’m not religious and haven’t read the Bible so don’t attack me if I say smth improper about any of the sects of Christianity bc I’m using my preconceived and second hand knowledge abt it. if u think of smth pls comment and share ur thoughts w me I would love to be educated by another further respectfully ^^

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Trafalgar D. Water Law; Boy or Girl SO Preference?

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If you look at Flevance, they resemble a typical small Christian community, even if it isn’t explicitly stated. There were religious crosses, nuns, churches. There was most definitely a theme in Flevance’s religion about hope and the good in others, as the nun that Law sees says smth like, “There’s always a hand to help you.”

Flevance also had a high status of wealth (the whole diamond scheme) and the average cost of living/luxury of the average person was reasonably high. There vastly majority of the couple in Flevance were also probably traditionally monogamous, with one man and one woman.

I think if Law had grown up in Flevance his romantic interests would solely be focused on a female partner bc that would be the socially acceptable way and he wouldn’t view males in the perspective of a potential suitor. (Idk if this is recent interpretations of the Bible or not but it’s realistic to say that there would be stigmatism surrounding same sex couples in Flevance as most traditional believers of Christianity view same sex romantic relationships as ‘wrong ish’. At least where I live..)

However, the destruction of Flevance brought change to Law’s character and perception of love. Because of this and his loss of faith from this experience, I think adult pirate Law would be more willing to engage in a same sex relationship. (Would actually be a good writing moment made by Oda if it did happen imo but I digress)

I don’t ship LawLu, but I think Luffy is a real example of the type of person that could help Law heal and has aspects of what Law would need in a relationship. LawLu is good on a companionship/spiritual level imo but sexually/potentially romantically I do not see it at all being reciprocated by either Law or Luffy.

Just the fact someone like Luffy exists that had met Law is a good argument for Law being with a male, just not Luffy specifically.

Law’s significant other to me represents stability, safety, and humanity. This can manifest in people differently though so I don’t see him looking for something based on physicality.

Because of that I don’t see Law in canon having a preference between boy or girl for a partner. Perhaps a leaning towards female because that’s the traditional way of his hometown and in the One Piece world it seems like.

He’d need someone emotionally before he’d need them sexually imo, so if he found someone that worked for him and he was ready, that’s it no matter the gender.

Sexually he would probably be more attracted to females, and a lot of times sexual tension is mistaken for romantic tension but I don’t see Law acting upon either.

Hate to leave this discussion without giving u a definite answer anon but I just don’t think there is a definite answer yk.

My personal preference tho is him with a female because I see him falling for someone with a strong maternal presence. Yk little instincts and gestures they do towards him and the crew that sometimes make them sigh ‘okay mom’ while drawing out the ‘o’ in mom. Someone that reminds him of the feeling of safety and peace he felt as a kid in Flevance where his body wasn’t so tense all the time.

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Hope u liked reading this and it helped u form ur own opinion on who you prefer Law with !

Mwah 😽

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 10 thoughts

after yesterday's trees that ate people, i am curious to see where we are going. however, i have heard that this episode and the 2 after it are very good, so i am excited to see where this takes us.

post-episode review: another contender for my (now crowded) best episodes of all time list! but take us back to yesterday...

let's read the description here... oh! this happens in a coastal town in maine? are we going to see BEACH mulder and scully? oh! this is giving me many ideas!

and yes, the description also mentions a girl and a doll i assume to be evil, but hey! maine! salt water taffy! seashells! lobsters! moose! blueberries! a quaint little motel!

ah, can you picture it? oh, do i need to write some sort of vacation fic? has this seed been planted? and will it continue to grow?

let us find out!

this girl (polly) has a creepy doll. she is glaring at her mother (melissa). she must not want to go shopping. don’t make eye contact, old lady who walks by them. that child has an evil spirit. i can tell. 

“i don’t like this store, mommy” <- so does she like other stores? other grocery stores? can she sense something here that displeases her? her mother clarifies that they will only be a minute 

ohhhh, when she says she wants to go home, the doll’s eyes open. don’t care for that. AND THE DOLL TALKS?? 

poor mom sees visions of the butcher stabbing himself in the eye?? and the cart’s wheels go wild!!!

“please, don’t do this to mommy”, melissa begs her child <- so she KNOWS that her daughter and/or the doll are somehow responsible for all this??? GIRL!!! she just needs to eat!! they haven’t invented doordash yet!! how will polly get her food?? does she have to go to a different, polly and doll approved, grocery store?? or must they simply starve??

ohhh OH THIS WOMAN IS CLAWING OUT HER EYES??? WHAT IS WITH THE EYES!? 

EVERYONE IS CLAWING OUT THEIR EYES!!!! AUGH AUGH AUGH WHAT THE FUCK, POLLY????? 

the butcher (dave) tries to call 911- somehow he is able to resist the call to scratch- but the fucking DOLL IS ON THE OTHER LINE???

girl. that doll needs to be thrown in the ocean NOW. you can’t be doing this to my boy dave. 

NOOOO HE REALLY DOES STAB HIMSELF IN THE EYE 💔

bleurgh. bleeeugh. pour one out for dave.

and to think! i was just pondering saltwater taffy and the dynamics of coastal msr!!

ohhh, but this little town is so cute!!!! is scully on vacation???

OHHH SHE’S GETTING GAS FOR HER FANCY CAR IN A MAINE T SHIRT AND SUNGLASSES <3 ohhh…. ohhhhh… vacation scully… i am holding her so gently

(she must have been so excited to get that silly little souvenir shirt if she had it on before she even got there... and i love that for her)

who calls her at this hour? (as if we need to ask!)

“mulder, i thought we had an agreement. we were both going to take the weekend off” (he is fully in his office playing around with his chair) LMAOOOO

this man physically cannot relax. “right, right, right, i know. but i-i-i just received some information about-about a case” <- at least he seems self-conscious about the fact that he is breaking their agreement

AWW, SHE JUST WANTS TO CHILL 

“you didn’t rent a convertible, did you?” “why?” “are you aware of the statistics of decapitation?” <- grown ass man playing on a chair when he says this, btw. please worry about yourself.

(it is so funny how badly he wanted to hear her voice but cannot bring himself to talk about normal human conversation topics, such as the vacation she is about to embark upon)

LMAO SHE INFORMS HIM THAT SHE IS HANGING UP LIKE HE IS A SMALL CHILD!!! AND HE SEEMS SURPRISED WHEN SHE DOES

aww, the poor man is just a loser!

(reading these notes back for editing purposes and i am STILL laughing. god, he's such a nerd.

he's thinking, "hey, i know we promised to not talk about work for 2 whole days, but i missed you. do you want to talk about work? please don't get decapitated, honey. oh man, she hung up on me :("

meanwhile, she's thinking "for the love of god. just let me have a nice vacation. yes, mulder, you want to solve a mystery, but i need a break. no, i won't get my head cut off. okay, i'm saying goodbye now. GOODBYE.")

she rolls off in her convertible. which is a mustang, btw. serve. and melissa and polly nearly run her over. she looks pissed at their erratic driving.

woah! she is at the store where the eyeball gouging just took place. she finds all of the grocery store customers with blood on their faces!!!! but luckily, most seem to have intact eyeballs.

NOOO, DAVE THE BUTCHER MIGHT BE DEAD and his eyeball is very much not intact

damn. so much for a chill vacation.

(author's note: it's so funny to me how scully was not going to let this stop her from chilling. she was going to get right back to the beach after watching a grocery store full of people claw at their own eyeballs. me, i would have been calling the whole trip off and heading home after seeing such a horrible sight. her need to relax after so many years of alien nonsense is unmatched. not even demon doll could come between this queen and her vacation)

cutscene to mulder in his office, where a distinct moaning noise is coming from his TV. oh god. and he’s sitting there with sunflower seeds. LMAO?? he’s just sitting and watching.... this. not even doing anything but snacking. 

NOOOO SHE CALLS AND HEARS IT 💔 “what are you watching, mulder?” OH GOD WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY?

he claims to be watching “the deadliest swarms” <- utterly gagged at that man watching porn while just sitting in his office. stone-faced. and then lying about it. what does this say about his character?

BUT IT REALLY WAS DEADLIEST SWARMS LMAOOOO THE MAN AND WOMAN MOANING HAVE BEES IN THEIR FUCKING EYES I’M CRYINGGGGG

my asexual king. i should have never doubted you.

(author's note: still losing my mind at this as i edit, btw. i was fully convinced that mulder brought porn to his office to watch at work on the weekend, and i was thinking "well, it's not the STRANGEST thing he's done" but no. he's at work on the weekends to watch bugs sting people in the eyeballs. for research purposes. god. what a guy. i wish i could have a glimpse into if scully believed his statement or not. have they talked about this TV program before? is this what he does with his very limited time off?)

“it sounds to me like that’s witchcraft or maybe some sorcery that you’re looking for there”, he comments. “no, i don’t think it’s witchcraft, mulder, or sorcery” (said while the local policemen look on in shock at her saying those words) LMAOOO

“yeah, well, maybe you don’t know what you’re looking for”

“like evidence of conjury or the black arts, or shamanism, divination, wicca, or any kind of pagan or neo-pagan practice? charms, cards, familiars, bloodstones or hex signs, or any of the ritual tableaux associated with the occult, santeria, vodoun, macumba, or any high or low magic?” <- LMAO she said i’ve been taking notes on your theories, boy

“scully?” “yes?” “marry me” “i was hoping for something a little more helpful” <- LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO GOD. the way her face doesn’t even change while his looks SO FUCKING SERIOUS. he's in awe of her. hold on. i had to rewatch that like three times. i'm absolutely HOWLING over here.

and to be fair, had she said that string of words to me on the phone as well, i would have reacted in the same way! i cannot fault him there.

while watching the footage of what went down at the grocery store, she notices that melissa is the only one who seems unaffected. the police seem to not believe that means anything until she politely points out that maybe they should talk to melissa about the whole situation, and then she tries to get tf out of there LMAOOO she is not going to let ANYTHING interrupt vacation time!!!!

“people here say she’s a witch” “well, that’s not the first time for that accusation in these parts” <- LMAO GET HIM AGAIN FOR ME

ohhhh, the cop says that melissa was “carrying on” with dave the butcher… who is now dead… well! that is deeply suspicious!!!

a policeman named buddy is trying to call melissa while polly and the doll listen to some old timey music. polly COMMANDS her to hang up. i fear the consequences for what will happen if melissa continues her chat.

nooooo :( buddy the cop tells melissa that dave is dead… but the doll is speaking now, because polly is being ignored!!! melissa says he can’t come here, but buddy insists on coming. 

so, again, it seems melissa knows that the doll is committing the crimes….

scully arrives with the other cop, named jack, to melissa and polly's house. scully is in her killer outfit of: blazer, maine t shirt, and sunglasses. looking like a million bucks. she proceeds to do the cop's job better than he does when she notices the backdoor is wide open. 

feels so strange to see scully in jeans. i make note of this special occasion

ohhh, she’s in the little girl’s room which could be sensitive for her... but she seems fine. 

(author's note: i keep getting jarred by how much they are NOT acknowledging the whole emily plotline... here i was thinking that this child's room would bring scully to tears and she's just looking around, observing as always... the writers truly did not give a damn)

lore reveal: melissa’s husband died in a boating accident… or did he…?

allegedly, polly is autistic, and the daycare lady slapped her across the face after a tantrum!!! what!! you can’t do this!! scully seems shocked to hear of the slapping (but she keeps it very professional, as she always does) and then MORE shocked to hear that the daycare lady was knocked on the ground. by the little girl. but the cop said she never touched her.

yes, i am sure that the ghost doll can do impossible things, even attacking old ladies. the daycare lady got fired for the slapping (well, yes!) and the people call melissa a witch as a result (um... not her fault?)

(why are there so many people named melissa in this show? could we not get a little creative? did the writers only know of 3 or 4 names? crack open a yearbook or one of those baby names books that writers use, damn!)

omg, so the tea is that dave had a WIFE, but was still trying to get with melissa!!! but melissa did not want him like that. a queen who stays in her lane.

scully notices that the windows are all nailed shut. maybe melissa nailed the windows in because she was afraid of something getting out…? like an evil ghost doll?

buddy gives the girl polly some ice cream as he tries to question melissa in this restaurant. buddy offers to give melissa some money so she can get away. is this, like, a kindness thing? oh no, he’s in love with her, seems like. says he missed his first chance around. well. i guess we can never have a man doing the right thing out of sheer selflessness. this is TV, after all.

she says she has seen things… meanwhile polly is DEMANDING more cherries from the ice cream lady. (and polly has strange taste. i like those cherries too, but they're very strong; one or two will do the job)

melissa tells buddy that she saw dave dead before he died! and it wasn’t the first time!!! she saw her husband before he died, too! buddy seems to take this news better than expected.

ohhh, this lady at the ice cream counter says polly has to ask her mom for money to buy more cherries… i assume she does not have much longer to live

the doll opens its eyes IN THE RESTAURANT, and melissa says it’s time to go, knowing what is about to go down. buddy tries to give her a key to a place they used to go hunting, but NOOOOOO, the ice cream lady’s head is stuck in the ice cream machine!!!!!!!

melissa takes polly and the doll and they book it.

this is an injustice to food service professionals everywhere.

the other cop guy- the one named named jack- is visiting jane, the old lady from the very beginning of the episode who briefly made eye contact with polly. and scully is here too!!

okay, so jane immediately launches into saying that melissa is from a line of witches. cool, cool. this must be the lady who ran the daycare. scully looks amused as she slams the door in their faces and remarks on “new england hospitality” lmaooo

(she claims she's heard about it all her life, but never experienced it- is this her first journey to new england? like, recreationally, and not for work? omg! the cali girl is being exposed to the northeast! culture shock! she is learning the ways of mulder and his people!)

ah yes, we see as they leave that the sign on the door of jane’s house shows it’s the daycare. well, FORMER daycare.

scully wants to know if this lineage of witches thing is really all talk. and the policeman jack cannot figure out why he would want to bring melissa in. LMAO despite him being entirely incompetent at his job, scully does NOT WANT TO HELP I’M CRYING. she is PROTECTING HER PEACE!!!

melissa and polly pull up to the cabin buddy gave them the key to. ohhh, she doesn’t have any gear… and it’s winter up here. girl! how will they eat!!

polly wants her BED and her RECORDS, and the doll is AWAKE. so now melissa’s racing home after seeing a dead jane in her rear window!!!

back at her home, the records are going off… jane is here, for some reason, perhaps to investigate the loud noises despite there being no one home... and when she takes off the record off the player…. NOOOO, NOT HER STABBING HERSELF WITH THE BROKEN RECORD!!!!!!!!!!!!

scully is taking a nice bubble bath, trying to relax… with some classical music…. but the phone is ringing!!! she slams the door with her foot LMAO and awww she gets out and wraps her hair in a towel <3 i love relaxed scully <3

wait, hold on, what is this book next to the phone…? allow me to pause. “affirmation for women who do too much” by adrianna carrillo… now hold on, i need to look into this… 

okay, so it doesn’t seem to be a real book, but instead a play on “meditations for women who do too much”, which has a very similar book cover and was published in the 90's. huh. the more you know! i wonder if copyright laws prevented the prop team from having the real thing.

we all know that she is, in fact, a woman who does too much. so i am glad she is affirming herself.

anyway, what was going on? yes, evil doll. there's a message on the phone. she does not play it. SHE DOES TOO MUCH ALREADY!!!!

AND the policeman jack is at her door!!! noooooo, she cannot get a break!!

they find jane dead with the record player…. they're investigating at the crime scene when the cop gets a call and says "it's for you"

LMAOOO, HOW DID MULDER FIND THE POLICEMAN’S NUMBER, I’M CRYING???

(AND he says he called the hotel!! how did he find the hotel room's number?? he is a sleuth)

“hey, morning, sunshine!” he says happily (loud thumping over the phone) BAHAHA WHAT IS GOING ONNN?

he was worried about her!!! LMAOOOOO HE SAYS THEY’RE DOING CONSTRUCTION RIGHT OUTSIDE HIS WINDOW, BUT HE WAS REALLY JUST BOUNCING HIS BASKETBALL BAHAHAA

awwww, he really WAS worried... he gets separation anxiety. that damn ball of his gets good use when he is nervous!!

omg… we finally get a decent look at his wall art while he is standing there in his underwear…. it’s just houses. sort of abstract, colorful, houses. with heavy lines. hmm. i will make assumptions on his character based on this.

BAHAHA AND MULDER THINKS THERE’S A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION FOR HER CASE oh my gosh he thinks it’s dancing sickness KING, SHE KNOWS WHAT THAT IS!!!

why is the only thing this man has in his fridge a bottle of orange juice? and it is presumably expired, because he makes an awful face when he takes a sip, and then we see that it says “oct 97” on the carton, which i take it is not. so is this set in 98? early 98? since we just passed chrismas?

god. how has he stayed alive this long? is there some sort of cafeteria at the FBI he sustains himself with?

LMAO HE SPITS THE JUICE BACK OUT AND SHE HANGS TF UP BAHAHAAA

she has had enough!! she called this guy jack and said maybe we need to keep our minds open to extreme possibilities (gasp!) LMAOOO “okay, but aren’t you on vacation?” <- SHE NEEDS A RAISE!! MAYBE IF YOU COULD DO YOUR JOB, JACK, SHE COULD TAKE A VACATION FOR REAL!!

now polly and the doll are back at home, and OH, the doll is breathing as the two sleep next to each other. this is not something that i care for. melissa is trying to do something to stop the doll's reign of terror, but it opens its eyes and catches her…. so she cries downstairs. NO! not a dead buddy vision!!!!

LMAOOO meanwhile scully is utterly gagged at the size of this lobster she’s splitting with jack: “that looks like something out of jules verne. we’re supposed to eat that?” <- SHE’S SUCH A NERD I’M CRYINGGGG

she really is experiencing new england culture shock and it is hilarious

she’s trying to learn about melissa’s husband’s death as jack manhandles this lobster. the boat he died on is out the window…

this damn doll keeps replaying the hokey pokey over and over again. count your days, demon!!!

ohhh, buddy is here at melissa's place to take her into the station!!! and he sees the doll open her doll eyes….

scully is trying to figure out wtf went down the night melissa’s husband died, as she now talks to this grizzled old sailor who was there with him on that fateful evening

“i told my story to the chief”, he says; “people’s story’s change”, she answers <- ohhhh yeah, she IS a noir detective, yes ma’am!

omg, melissa's husband/polly's dad found that freaky ass doll in the ocean!!! it was the night before polly's birthday, so he thought it was a gift from the sea!! and he heard the doll talking…. and then the old grizzled fisherman found melissa’s husband with the HOOK THROUGH HIS SKULL BLEUGGHHH?

(this episode was funny but the gore was SHEESH)

ohhh, and he put together that the doll was involved when he saw them in the store that morning

(her phone rings) “oh hey, i thought you weren’t answering your cell phone” he’s TWIRLING the literal phone line while he calls her i’m CRYING this man is down TERRIBLE

OHHH HE IS TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION WHEN SHE ASKS IF THERE ARE ANY REFERENCES IN OCCULT LITERATURE TO EVIL DOLLS LMAOOOO

he starts explaining and then she says that she “was just curious”, probably because his heart would be broken if he knew she found a haunted doll without him. turns out there is quite a history of them in new england!

“i would suggest that you check the back of the doll for a-a plastic ring with a string on it” (she rolls her eyes and hangs up) 

LMAOOOOOO STOP my face hurts from smiling at this episode. why is he like that!

poor melissa is crying, making popcorn at the stove for the screaming polly, while BUDDY IS DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! NO MELISSA!!

she hammers the windows and doors shut even more…. but the doll cannot stand the pounding!!! and melissa sees herself dead in the window!!!! nooo!

scully and jack roll up just in time to either save the day or watch it get much, much worse. 

omfg is melissa gonna set the whole house on fire?????? but she can’t get a match to light!!!! the doll keeps blowing it out!!!

from outside the house, scully sees buddy dead on the floor!!!! and the doll won’t let melissa grab a knife!!!! but the demon doll somehow opens up the locked cabinet and gets the hammer!!!!

scully is absolutely SLAMMING herself into that door to open it, but NOOOO the doll says “i don’t like you anymore” and makes melissa take the hammer and JAM IT IN HER OWN FACE?!?!?!?!?!?

scully and jack finally break in!! scully takes the doll away from polly despite her many refusals and PUTS IT IN THE MICROWAVE?? YAAAS THE DEMON CATCHES FIRE!!!!!!!!! scully is very dramatically watching that doll burn….

(this had me absolutely CRYING. she had no time for science that day. she was on vacation. if there is going to be an evil demon doll while she is off the clock, she is going to throw that mfer in the microwave and watch it go up in flames. extreme possibilities are allowed, but ONLY when it is not her duty to save the world.)

((also laughing that the doll was able to put out matches and throw knives and make people gouge out their eyes, but scully putting her in the microwave was so unpredictable this demon had zero defense against it. that, or her catholic powers simply neutralized the evil presence, rendering the doll immobile in her godly hands. i choose to imagine it is a combination of both))

while mulder is sharpening a ton of pencils and putting them in rows back in the office LMAOOOO

scully finally returns to the basement office! she tells mulder she wants to send his famous wall poster to "some guy named jack"!!! he seems unbothered by this, whereas i was shocked! and then she denies doing any work on the case while up there, saying she was just on vacation. ah, if only we could have seen her frolicking on the beach after those incidents.

what did mulder get up to while she was away? “oh god, i mean, it’s amazing what i can accomplish without incessant meddling or questioning into everything i do” (pencils begin to fall on him from the ceiling, as we pan up and see like, 40 pencils launched up there) LMAOOO

“there’s got to be an explanation” “some things are better left unexplained” fair enough

a cutscene back to maine... NOOOO, another fisherman hauls out the haunted doll while the hokey pokey ominously plays in the background 💔

i hope he promptly tossed her back into the watery grave. let her torment some fish instead.

so, final thoughts: scully putting the doll in the microwave… she really is THE final girl, huh?

this episode was soooo silly. i loved it. mulder had no brain cells. scully took a bath and made a friend who she wants to send a poster to. she is gagged by lobster. lmaoooooooo mulder missed her SO bad, he was trying to do science to impress her, bahaha. and she had her little maine shirt on!!! the role reversal of him being the science-centered one because he wants to talk to her that badly, and her being the one willing to deal with demons for a few days also killed me.

def going on the list of faves.

i think it is so funny that she was so focused on relaxing for once in her life that she truly did not give a single fuck if that doll was possessed or not. normally she would be scrambling for explanations, and today she simply did not have the time. she wanted to take a nice bubble bath, listen to orchestral music, read her little book, and if a demon was going to get in the way of that, then she would simply stop it and move along with her roadtrip. and i think that is beautiful.

and to answer my earlier question: YES, i still want a REAL joint msr vacation fic with REAL relaxation and REAL saltwater taffy and splashing and no murder dolls, but maybe like ONE ghost tour because new england is old and spooky, and then mulder can ask if they want to get married for real and they can go hiking or some other nerd activity and be happy forever and always <3 the end!

[eand47]

I am nowhere close finishing “The Neighbourhood” story any time soon and I already know what my next Ace fic will gonna be about 🤩 and I can’t wait to share with you guys more, as it’s something that I have never come across as an AU with Ace 👀. I might be wrong of course, even tho I have read every fic/ one-shot/ headcanon ect. out there with him but so far I haven’t seen anything (little spoiler now) with early 40s year old Ace 😩 Oda killing Ace at the age of 20 was the biggest lost for the DILF community (AND THE BIGGEST LOST IN MY LIFE 💔💔💔 OFF ALL 1000+ CHARACTERS WHY ACE WHY MY BELOVED ACE)

Anyway I might post a little teaser soon (in a few days probably), but knowing myself I want to be at least half way done with “The Neighbourhood” before I start writing anything else otherwise I will get to investigate in the new story and this one will get on hold and I don’t want to do this :)

[wiltyard]

fall once more | tf: earthspark

masterlist ch: 01 [you are here] started on: 12/2022 chapter posted on: 11/25/2024 REMINDER: This is a reader-insert/oc-insert. Ero is YOU.

"Alright, until GHOST figures out what to do with our new...friend here..." Ero had already tuned out their conversation by then, zoning out as their gaze wandered to the trees across the clearing. They’ve heard of this conversation before. How nice of them to treat them so well after everything they’ve done.

Ero didn’t have a concrete vision of their future, not that they didn’t want one, just that they couldn’t. Every waking moment was either filled with pain, tests, check-ups, or whatever task Dr. Meridian had thrown them. They never had the privilege to hope, and dream.

Even if things were different if they did have the time—hard emphasis on if—whatever future they would have envisioned then would still be nothing compared to the life they have now.

Dr. Meridian is gone. That is something they haven’t processed properly yet, and it was something they wouldn’t even dare think of back then. He was a constant in their life, for the longest time, and for him to just disappear like that, it's hard to make peace with, even if he wasn’t exactly a source of comfort or happiness.

Maybe he abandoned them, who knows? They don’t want to think about it. Because then they’d have to acknowledge that the thought bothers them. Being abandoned, thrown away.

Could they call this place a home? Maybe not, they’ll get kicked out in a week or two, they’re not exactly hopeful about sticking around, nor do they want to stay here. Where they’d go afterward, they don’t know but they’ll make do.

One thing they missed from their past routine was having so much to do and little time to think. The more they think, the more they spiral, the more they doubt, and the more they feel confused. Maybe they'll ask later if they could have something to do. But again, not hopeful.

Dorothy eyed them from a distance, watching them closely. It didn’t go unnoticed, it’s hard not to when the feeling of holes being burned on the back of your head is difficult to ignore. They had to get used to the staring at some point, that too was difficult. If it’s not Dorothy, it’s the children, if it’s not the children, Alex, if not any of the humans or the Terrans, it’s one of the Autobots.

It's not that they don't understand why they're acting like this. Ero would do the same thing, at least they think so. But…they still hate the staring. 

Ero of course has to pretend they don’t notice it. It’d be more uncomfortable for them than they already are to turn and stare back at whoever was watching them. Think about it, to hold the gaze of someone who clearly isn’t fond of your company, and maybe they don’t all feel that way, but still.

Just imagining it was enough to discomfort them as they shifted their posture a little, crossing and uncrossing their arms, fiddling with the fabric of their clothes that were so generously donated to them, they can't help but feel bothered by the weight of it, whether it's the weight of the clothes or….the guilt of everything. That, they’re not sure of. And they’d rather not let it consume them.

Eventually, Dorothy turned her attention to the leader of the Autobots, asking a question in a voice too low for Ero to hear, but loud enough to catch snippets of whatever she said to Optimus. “....Optimus...sure...safe?...the kids.”

Ero tilted their head a little, not too much to make it obvious that they were looking, but enough to catch a glimpse of Dorothy nodding to the children. The human children and the Terrans that Ero should’ve been paying attention to in the first place. They realized a bit too late that the kids in question were approaching them, a group of four, four too many. And before Ero could even think of fleeing, the Malto children had already closed in much to their dismay, now throwing out more questions at Ero than they could answer.

One thing Ero had to learn the hard way was they were quite terrible at socializing with other humans, especially with kids. They even told Optimus this when he asked them what they were looking forward to experiencing on their way to the Malto family’s residence, completely ignoring the question at all because what is there to look forward to?

“I don’t know. Is there anything to look forward to?” They added after, asking in a monotone manner with their gaze unfocused. Optimus could remember that moment clearly because of the almost melancholic tone to their voice.

Back to the present, Optimus watched the entire scene unfold before him, and despite the looks and glances Ero shot at him, almost asking him to help them. He only gave them a look back, silently telling them that he had no intentions of interfering. This crushed whatever hope they had to be taken out of the situation, given the way their shoulders slumped in defeat.

No doubt he believed they needed this as “exposure therapy”, or something along those lines, they really don’t need it. But whatever makes him feel satisfied. They’ll just think of this as an order, a task given to complete, yes, that’s right. They’ll get through this, this is easy.

“I heard from Optimus you’re technically not human anymore! How does it feel? Do you eat human food? If you eat, does it still come out the other way一?”

They suppressed the urge to hit themselves. Knowing if they did, they might have to deal with another lecture about proper social etiquette. Whatever that means.

Optimus on the other hand, Optimus was sure they weren't a danger to the children. What he had observed while Ero was under his care was enough confirmation and reassurance for his thoughts about them. However, what he thought of Ero and what they were capable of was different from what the others thought of them. To the others, they were someone who had put their friends and family at risk, Dr. Meridian’s child.

Megatron had openly detested Ero, the potential danger they posed to the Malto family, and Dorothy's family, and endangering them was more than enough reason for him to dislike them even if that made him a hypocrite due to his history.

The Terrans? After risking their human siblings' lives? Let's say it'll take much longer for them to warm up, much less even trust Ero. This shows in the way they hovered closely next to Mo and Robby while throwing in their questions. Twitch and Thrash weren't exactly...fond of them either. Curious, sure, but trust Ero? Ha. No.

The blue and red mech sighs, taking a while before he finally nods to answer Dot’s question. The look on her face though was enough for him to understand she wasn't happy with just a nod. She wanted a verbal, direct, answer. An answer that for once the leader of the Autobots couldn't give.

Optimus wished their new friend at least tried to seem more…friendly, and easy to get along with, but he knew better than to hope. With their short time under his watch, he knew they’d have trouble integrating themselves back into society, while also giving the others a hard time, albeit unintentionally.

Still, he was already bracing himself for the numerous headaches he'll have to deal with in the near future, no doubt brought by Ero, maybe not directly because of them, but because of what the others had to say. Just the thought of what's to come was enough to tire him.

His eyes were now on the ground, then turned to look at Dorothy again. "Yes. It is safe, for now, you and your family are not alone nor will we let anything happen to you alone. I swear to you, Dorothy."

She still wasn't convinced, but... she decided to trust him on this. He has never intentionally put them in danger after all. Trouble just...finds them.

In truth, Optimus is still unsure of what compelled him to decide taking Ero under the Autobots', and of course the Maltoses' wings. Even if the rest of them believed Ero was far more trouble than they were worth. But, to leave them at the mercy of Earth's governments, someone who no doubt would catch many people's attention, the wrong people’s attention, he thought of it as too cruel.

Maybe it's because of how far the cruelty of human beings could go for the sake of progress, innovation, or even just at a shot of power or immortality, that they could be subjected to even more experiments. Knowing what they know about Ero, what they had endured while affiliated and being in Dr. Meridian's company, wasn't that enough punishment? Their mere existence, what they’ve been turned into, what they became, isn't it enough?

And if he were to even bring his thoughts up to them, he knew they wouldn't share the sentiment. Ero would try to appreciate it with what little understanding they have of these types of emotions, with emphasis on "try", but then immediately, almost comically, try to prove him wrong with their thoughts.

Maybe if they weren't so unused to human emotions, they would have initially scoffed at him, waving it off as they barked out an almost condescending laugh, perhaps garnering some narrowed and questionable stares from whoever was in earshot, hearing the conversation. While holding much respect for Optimus, they would have believed his opinions regarding them as stupid, or his sympathy misplaced.

He’s seen the way Ero reacted to pity, sympathy, and anything that involved consideration and concern for them, of the many things Ero could control, it’s their body language and expressions when faced with emotions foreign to them that they could not. It seemed that they did not like pity, at least directed at them.

When asked, all they could answer with was; “It’s unpleasant.”

Or...the way their eyes would look. So, downcast, full of...something. He knew it was strange somewhat, knowing Ero’s history, some of it at least, one could say it was alien to them.

He turns once he feels Megatron’s presence next to him, the bot in question crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at the kids and Ero. Without turning, he starts; “If you're wrong about this Prime—”

“Yes, I know.” He doesn't let him finish, he doesn't need to. He knows Megatron’s uncertainty and distrust was from a place of concern. He was quiet, a beat passed, then two before he turned to Megatron. “...you should spend some time with Ero. Perhaps it could prove useful in your assessment of them.”

Megatron huffs at that idea, he wasn't happy with it. Ero is no little birdy. But he’s not turning him down immediately so there's a chance. “You’ll find you share more things in common with them than you think.”

Maybe it's the way Optimus’ voice lost its initial edge, the way it grew soft because Megatron found himself considering it. The things this bot could convince him to do, and he’d find a way to justify it just for Optimus. And it’s not like it’dhurt to try. “Fine.”

Optimus didn't say anything back, he didn't need to. The smile on his face was enough for Megatron to know he was pleased with that answer. He only rolled his optics at him as he walked off. He’ll monitor their little prisoner another day, not today. “I have a recon mission to get to, I’ll see you around Optimus.”

He transformed into his alt-mode, and with that, he was off as Optimus watched behind until he was out of sight. He sighs, then turns to check on Ero, finding them alone and giving him an apologetic look as they wave at him. Only then does he realize he has the children’s attention, seeing them make their way toward him.

“You had a tinier version of you in your trailer?!” Twitch exclaimed, exasperated, before pointing an accusatory finger at him. “AND YOU USED IT AS A SCOUT??? WHY DOES ERO KNOW ABOUT THIS BUT NOT US?”

Watching them throw so many questions at him, not even letting him have a word in, Ero almost felt bad. Still, they figured it was better to just get their attention elsewhere, to anyone, just not them. What better way than to bring up something Optimus told them?

It wasn’t anything sensitive, something interesting, and something most had no clue about the big guy. Something Optimus thought would help distract Ero when he somehow figured out that they were nervous. And to this day Ero has no clue how he found that out, they’re not gonna ask. The thought that someone just sees through them, “understood” them in a way… didn’t feel as nice as it should.

With that, they took this as their chance to slip away from the group, from the kids, and hid behind the other side of the barn. Once out of the others’ sight, they sat down and allowed themselves to finally relax.

Throwing their head back, they closed their eyes and audibly sighed. Taking in the sounds of nature—the rustling leaves, the cows, the birds—and, along with the distant voices, the kids’ numerous questions. Optimus was doing his best to answer all of them while attempting to calm Twitch’s momentary anger.

While confusing for Ero to witness, these people’s dynamics felt comfortable and warm, a stark contrast to the bitter cold they were used to. From heated glares to concerned gazes. Threats to soft-spoken encouragement. From dark, bleak, and cold rooms to the open and sunny outdoors.

Ero opens their eyes, staring at the sky that’s now tinted with pink as the sun sets in the distance. It was peaceful. They’re not used to it, admittedly.

“You’re as slippery as a quantum drift.” A voice suddenly spoke up behind them.

Ero immediately tensed once they heard his voice. Of course, it was Bumblebee. The ever-friendly yellow Autobot.They’ve met long before, but not in the best circumstances—the whole working for Dr. Meridian thing and everything else in between.

Once they saw that familiar yellow, they unconsciously relaxed just a tiny bit. They don’t know how to personally feel about him. Their past interactions with him weren’t all…that bad. Sure he was talkative, and said too much, but he tried to be friendly with them. Tried to talk instead of resorting to violence or trying to hurt them as most did.

Bumblebee tried reasoning with them. And, well, he was right to make that call.

They still have no clue how to feel about Bumblebee, or any of them to be honest. He was friendly, but too friendly that they wanted to lump him with every other well-meaning but ultimately shallow individual they’ve ever met in this lifetime. 

Still, something in Bumblebee’s tone made them pause. Something that reminded them of the strange, uncomfortable warmth they sometimes felt in their chest, when the sunlight hit the surface of their crystalline body just right. It felt too much like hope.

Despite the not-so-unpleasant experiences they had with him, it didn’t erase the unease Ero had about him (or anyone to be honest). They know better than most, the friendliest faces are often the most dangerous. Or maybe they’re just jumping to conclusions and he is just a friendly face. Still, they’d rather take their chances with assuming wrong about him than putting their already fragile sense of safety at risk. But what risk?

These people have been nothing but kind to them. Even when they don’t ever need to be. They had every right to treat them like they were nothing but the dirt beneath their feet, and yet, despite the cautiousness each of them had whenever interacting with Ero, they could sense even just the slightest concern in their voices.

“...I could say the same to you.” Ero’s tone was steady, they straightened their back, feeling the weight of their crystalline form shift ever so slightly. It wasn’t comfortable, this body they were forced to inhabit, but it was theirs. And as of now, no possible way of changing back.

They clearly weren’t happy with his intrusion. It was obvious he was there to check on them to see what they were doing, but he could’ve done it from a distance, no need to actually talk to them. What do they even have to say to him anyway? Nothing.

Bumblebee’s expression shifted a little, sensing they wouldn’t just let down their walls around him that easily, and he'd tried a bunch of times. If what he’s heard of them was correct, then, maybe they weren’t that bad. Just need to get through that tough exterior they built up.

“Well, what can I say, can’t be the best scout of the Autobots if I can’t slip in and out of places like that.” He grinned, leaning against the barn wall, and this time, Ero only gave him a side glance, before turning away again. His grin faltered a little. Tough crowd?

“You distracting the kids like that, getting their attention on Optimus instead so you’d be able to leave—pretty clever. You could be a pretty good scout, too, you know.” He tried again, his voice was a bit softer now, none of that banter he usually carried. The banter never worked anyway, Ero only ever reacted to the words, never the tone, never the nuances. They were always so careful.

And Ero, once again, barely reacted, their gaze hardened as they turned away again. That compliment landed somewhere between confusion and just plain discomfort. It’s not that Bumblebee was wrong, it’s just that his words didn’t reach them. Nothing could. At least for now. They’ve only been here a couple of days after all, and only today were they allowed to interact with the rest of the Malto family. He can’t blame them for being distant. But he’d hoped they’d at least…open up a little.

Before his run-ins with Ero, he’s heard rumors here and there about them, apparently from Decepticons who escaped Mandroid’s grasp. How they did it with a little help from someone inside, Dr. Estes Meridian heard of these rumors himself, but never once thought it would be his own child.

“...thanks.” They finally spoke up before going silent again. It’s a bit difficult to read Ero now that he thought about it. Outside of what they’re willing to talk about, their actions, they’re relatively…blank. If that makes any sense. As in, if there’s nothing that pushes them to do something, they don’t do anything, they don’t say anything. Speaks-when-spoken-to kinda deal but also in terms of actions, situations.

Bumblebee sighed internally, while he may not have achieved his goal of getting Ero to open up, them responding back was enough progress, right? Maybe tomorrow will be different. If not, then maybe the next day after that.

“Slippery as a quantum drift.” → “Slippery as a fox.”

Delivered as promised before the end of November. My phone got confiscated at my big age of 21 while I was in the middle of writing this the past few weeks. 🙂

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it. I literally have an unfinished published fanfic I haven’t touched since 2021 and let’s cross our fingers I don’t do the same with this one ong.

Also please point out any inconsistencies or typos!

[claypigeonpottery]

just little dudes, hanging out

[authenticcadence18]

I miss the person I was a year ago. two years ago. more social. happier. doing more creatively.

[concha-de-mar]

I have just learned that an Inheritance Cycle show is in the works, and um, what?!

[jitteryjive]

i need to remake my cup bros ref… both cup and human designs… it’s been almost a year(?) and i’ve developed the headcanons and i would like to share with the class!!! (i wrote thirty tags. Please help me)

[lemonzestywrites]

hi there yall! i’m back with another addition to my wip in progress snippet where every time i add another 1k to my word count of my current beast of a project i post a bit of of it here

anyways i hope you enjoy!

(nsfw under the cut) ft some rimming

He feels worshiped- savored, under Buck's tongue.

It takes everything for Eddie not to rut on the mattress again. He…He wants to be good. He’s going to be good.

The pleasure coils through his veins, hot and thick. His chest burns with a feeling he can’t describe. His mind is so overwhelmed with every sensation, every feeling.

The hands at his ass curl in desperation, fingers digging into the skin with a kind of want Eddie’s not sure anyone else has ever had with him. It’s not the desire of wanting more of whatever Eddie’s already giving Buck- this is different.

This is more.

It’s a kind of adoration. Effortless and adoring. A reward. Except Eddie’s not all that sure what he’s done to deserve it. But God, does it feel good.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

coming back on really quickly to say a) i miss megumi b) i cannot believe there is now CANONICALLY someone named kaito in jjk phanpara and c) i also cannot believe that the cursed technique i made up for an oc i made based on one of my annoying classmates is also now canon in jjk phanpara

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

[binders-and-beanies]

Doin bad again folx

[genderdog]

every time i listen to ugly death no redemption i go fucking insane about ice the last generation again