#and the fuck it we ball people just have gay sex and do drugs

[genderdog]

every time i listen to ugly death no redemption i go fucking insane about ice the last generation again

[cough-ii]

aftg as quote book pt 4 !!

“its just a silly little twerk of mine” - nicky

“i wouldn’t mind being called woke. im awake arent i?” neil/wymack

“enter hot take on kevin” *drops the mic, takes a bow* - neil

“Just a reminder we are HALF WAY THERE and we are LIVING ON A PRAYER” - renee @ games

“Led by you hoe” - Alison

“i physically cannot play with my balls in my bedroom” - neil?

“Fuckin this, fuck that fuck fuck fuck” - wymack

“Porn is a genre” - nicky

“Reading porn is better than not reading at all” - nicky

“We are all bussin” - nicky

“Don’t shoot the prime minister…please” - everyone @ andrew

“He gave himself a DIY circumcision” - be creative

“I live under a rock. It;s very warm” - neil

“The only way youre getting out of maths this year is if you kill yourself” - neil

“Don’t kill yourself” - wymack

“Tomorrow we’re going to learn how to be better bullies :)” - dan

“I have nothing important to say ever” - aaron

“I am wrong in the head” - kevin

“Some people say lots of things to get off” - nicky

“It was such a delicious luxury to have a warm drink” - matt

‘I got my pussy waxed’ - alison

��i feel so much better without my pants’ - matt

“neil you’re flirting” - dan “oops…” neil

“Impact on the victim… DEATH” - andrew

“Stop doing magic in class please” someone to andrew

“‘You look good enough to eat,’ Andrew Minyard had said, the first time he came to pick him (Neil) up. When they got home again he did begin to eat him”

“Hey hoe 💅” alison

“That is tighter than a fishes ass hole” - matt

“Are you ok you look like a drenched rat” - dan

“If I get your name wrong, blame your parents” -wymack

“I was on drugs I didn’t know what I was doing” andrew

“I have thousands of dollars to my name” neil

“why did you threaten me?” kevin “because i wanted to” neil

“Dragons have pronouns too” renee

“i very much enjoy getting renee wet” - Alison, dunking water on renee

“andrew is a crack up” - nicky probably almost got shanked for this

“talk dirty to me” andrew “What if I tied up all your hands and legs and then threw you down the stairs and you died, but we were friends who liked practical jokes, would that be murder?” neil

‘Who was humping the statue?’ - dan

“Little red riding hood in bed with the wolf” - Alison

“His eyes are penetrating you” kevin @ neil unironically

“There are a number of ways you can skin a cat” andrew when one of the cats piss on the bed

‘Just shake ur ass and no one will notice’ nicky

“Why is it always mother fucker this, mother fucker that? Why is it never father fucker” neil

“I’m very private with my fists” dan

“I had some guy in my car and he said ‘i want to commit suicide’ and i said ‘no, not in my car get out’” - twinyards

“Girls, you’re semi-hysterical” wymack

“I touched your boob im sorry” matt @ dan

“Not just jumping off the religious sculpture, they were humping the religious sculpture” - renee, traumatised

‘DANCE you idiot, D-A-N-S…’ - kevin

‘We’ll talk about the sex party another time’ dan

‘I have a gin and tonic every night, it keeps me young’ wymack

“I was in a rage and i broke his nose” neil ab kevin

“Some people need to be chemically castrated” andrew

“Don’t chew gum in front of Jesus” renee

“I’m hearing plenty of smashing noises over here” allison in the cabin

“Oh why don’t you crawl back into your hole” andrew @ neil

“Legalise recreational use of cannibalism” aaron in a presentation

“CMERE YOU LITTLE BOLLOCKS!” wymack

“Stabbing them 3 or 4 times is plenty” andrew

“My brother got dropped on his head” andrew

‘Comparing sizes’ nicky

‘Ive been stalking you all’ kevin

“Shit, Shit, SHIT, Oh my god, SHIT. That’s fucked” nicky

“She called him gay so i threw the chair at her” neil

“I’m gonna die” aaron “Don’t care.” neil

“Get help please” dan

“Young people’s music today, I just don’t get it” abby

“We all have the homosexual gene” andrew

“I’m not going to get you to go around class and looking if people have homosexual characteristics” andrew maybe

‘i saw this really big tombstone and i asked ‘is that where jesus was buried?’’ andrew @ renee

‘What if I worked 55 hours a day?’ matt?

“now that i’m your legal guardian i guess i should look after you” dan a/o matt @ neil

“lesbians are people too” neil

“Charisma test? caress my balls” nicky

“Do you want to do a quickie to de-stress” andrew

“If you are interested in any horizontal refreshment” andrew

“Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace, play with my balls and tell me how big they are” (…….. i have second hand embarrassment) - allison

“Do you think Jesus had daddy issues?” alison

“We all get stressed sometimes but cursing is not fucking ok” dan

“I'm working, im twerking and im jerking” nicky

‘It’s a good kisser it’s so smooth and soft and warm’ neil ab his homework

[queerstuffonscreen]

Queer as Folk US (2000-2005)

Episode length: 44-58 min.

Country: USA

Genre: Drama

Language: English

Brash humor and genuine emotion make up this series revolving around the lives, loves, ambitions, careers and friendships of a group of gay men and women living on Liberty Avenue in contemporary Pittsburgh, PA.

Season 1

Episode 1: Premiere

Episode 2: Queer, There and Everywhere

Episode 3: No Bris, No Shirt, No Service

Episode 4: Ted's Not Dead

Episode 5: Now Approaching… The Line

Episode 6: The Art of Desperation

Episode 7: Smells Like Codependence

Episode 8: Babylon Boomerang

Episode 9: Daddy Dearest (Sonny Boy)

Episode 10: Queens of the Road

Episode 11: Surprise!

Episode 12: Move It or Lose It

Episode 13: Very Stupid People

Episode 14: A Change of Heart

Episode 15: The Ties That Bind

Episode 16: French Fried

Episode 17: Solution (How TLFKAM Got Her Name Back)

Episode 18: Surprise Kill

Episode 19: Good Grief!

Episode 20: The King of Babylon

Episode 21: Running to Stand Still

Episode 22: Full Circle

Season 2

Episode 1: Home is Where the Ass Is

Episode 2: All Better Now

Episode 3: Hypocrisy: Don't Do It

Episode 4: Pride

Episode 5: …Wherever That Dream May Lead You

Episode 6: Mixed Blessings

Episode 7: The Leper (Hath the Babe Not Eyes?)

Episode 8: Love for Sale

Episode 9: Accentuate the Positive

Episode 10: Priorities, Please! (Beat the Time)

Episode 11: The Wedding

Episode 12: One Degree of Brian Kinney

Episode 13: It's Because I'm Gay, Right?

Episode 14: The Dangers of Sex and Drugs

Episode 15: Rage Against This Machine

Episode 16: You Say it's Your Birthday! I Couldn't Care Less!

Episode 17: You Can Leda Girl to Pussy

Episode 18: Sick, Sick, Sick

Episode 19: Bowling for Equality

Episode 20: Out With a Whimper

Season 3

Episode 1: Mad Dog Kinney

Episode 2: House Full of Children

Episode 3: Doctors of Dickology

Episode 4: Brat-Sitting

Episode 5: There's Nothing Noble about Being Poor

Episode 6: One Ring to Rule Them All

Episode 7: Stop Hurting Us

Episode 8: Hunt(er) For Love

Episode 9: Big Fucking Mouth

Episode 10: Uncle Ben

Episode 11: Poster May Lead to the Truth

Episode 12: Drugs, Sex and Lies

Episode 13: Tweaked-Out, Fucked-Out Crystal Queen

Episode 14: The Election

Season 4

Episode 1: Just a Little Help

Episode 2: Stand Up for Ourselves

Episode 3: Starting a Whole New Life

Episode 4: Escalating Violence

Episode 5: How Far You Can Go

Episode 6: Death in the Family

Episode 7: Preponderance of Death

Episode 8: Two Kinds of Lies

Episode 9: Have Some Balls

Episode 10: The Snake in Paradise

Episode 11: Gay or Straight? That's the Question

Episode 12: Irritation and Separation

Episode 13: Proposal of Two Kinds

Episode 14: Liberty Ride

Season 5

Episode 1: Move and Leave

Episode 2: Back in Business

Episode 3: Fags are No Different than People

Episode 4: Hard Decisions

Episode 5: Excluding and Abstemiousness

Episode 6: Bored Out of Ya Fucking Mind

Episode 7: Hope Against Hope

Episode 8: Honest to Yourself

Episode 9: Anything in Common

Episode 10: I Love You

Episode 11: Fuckin' Revenge

Episode 12: Mr. Right (Never Broke a Promise)

Episode 13: We Will Survive!

Watch on FuboTV

[corellonsblessing]

A BLACK OUT/SLAM POEM based on the teletubbies (tv) tag on ao3

TRIGGER WARNING_MILK.

stray dogs literature clubs, the school for good and evil. ink sans angel—stranger things

horror sans guy—don’t hug me i’m scared. don’t hug me i’m scared, (don’t hug me i’m scared.)

free form plot twists. tragedy/comedy. alternate universe—high school. alternate universe—music.

the chaos unfolds each day, pristine, centuries ago, fight the many.

post divorce, living together, implied drug use, alcoholism. snippets from the end of the show, renunion, although it takes place a couple years before. we were the stars (but space was a void) by ponfarrpussyqueen.

corporate clash, bug, duck, the guardian pest, the prince, macarena, kissing, crack, as a joke, boys kissing, regret everything

underage julius caesar, emo napoleon, mating bond, tentacle dick, magic healing cock, holy water, holy roman empire, kissing in the rain, the battle of waterloo, a true story.

crossover, insanehappymealgiver, original character, original, simulator, mentioned, i’m at my limit, intentionally bad, wearing the other character’s skin, start praying because this sure ain’t holy, my dad went to get the milk because of this, sent to the void, put me in a coffin, rancid hope’s peak

we greet you with good luck and prosperity.

we love gay anal and lesbian smut and we hope you do too.

diminishing flame, not for kids, you’ll cry so hard you won’t have eyes, not sorry, commit a clarity, vaporized, freeform, sewer rat

2020 presidential election, spit as lube.

chaos bear, crack, crack, crack, has religious trauma, gay, gay, lesbian, lesbian sex, orgy, moist naked bodies rainbow is jesus, sex during tornado, this is NOT. finished.

there she was, in a new world. guess she’ll play the cards she’s dealt.

jesus confessed, sin shock, tears streaming down her face. “i fucked your sister.” crack. treated seriously, why did i write this. gay best friend—i can see that (i’m safe here.)

why did i write this!

crack. treated seriously.

slowly losing our sanity, we die.

crack, treated seriously. the moon of hope and the sun of despair LET IT GOOOOO LET IT GOOO.

crack, treated seriously, blue balls, orphan account

his little purse. what was once an inside joke is now taken seriously. crack. crack. fluff and crack. angst and crack. i am a man of my word, and i speak for the people.

a million other projects to complete

crack, crack, i dont know what’s going on, we’re idiots so we made this

it starts out all nice then it all goes downhill

satan, crack, this is a joke, please help me, please don’t hate me, i’m so sorry, i cannot think of anything else, please don’t read this. but. do, the author regrets nothing, the author regrets everything, why do i still exist? (discontinued, at least until further notice.) by even moderner prometheus

forbidden love, dead dove:do not eat.

so small in the midst of it all. rolling with the weird and unusual, traumatized teens to comfort, and an important decision to make

i came up with this, i will go down with this

i can’t believe i write this, why did i write this, i wrote this while listening to mother mother, sleep deprived, wrote this instead of sleeping, the guardian witnessed sex and is now scarred, touching, addiction, slut shaming

insufferable with apologies to all my followers, hell (literal), sewage

i got problems, so fucking random, pulled out of my ass, hard to explain, hard to word, each chapter will be posted, find me on wattpad,

near death experiences, major illness, declarations of love, love confessions, eating, marking, delay/denial, knotting, marking, mating bites, overstimulation, based on taylor swift songs, missing spleen

help me pleease, im scared, why did i write this?, just this really chill person who wants to take over the world, humanized teletubbies, my friend and i wrote this over the summer

you better not forgive me for this, im serious, vaginal fingering, a hushed voice, the contact making her shiver.

may your heart stay strong. torture, vomiting, blood and gore, self-indulgent, touch starved guardian, all characters are adults, electricity, suicidal thoughts, medical inaccuracies,

and yet… you lie again. i like noo-noo i hope he explodes, don’t show up

crack. i am so sorry. not in detail but it could’ve been so count your blessings

gods this can’t end well, good parent, to two children, bad parent, to the other one

IM SO SRRY BUT THIS WAS FOR THE GREATER GOOD, HAHA SUFFER,

attempt at humor, death, gore, i don’t even know, i’m so sorry, you have been warned, i posted this for my brother’s birthday

plague, companionship, through the fields we ran

it quickly turns into anti-demon propaganda

a play in one act, post-war, no sex, no killing

the prize of reading this is to meet god

help my poor soul this is a disgrace but it was my first fic so i refuse to orphan it, and the teletubbies followed

help, i was forced to write this and i’m sorry, i don’t even know what to call this monster, the southern pansy, aziphrale, the prince of hell, and the archangel gabriel

angst, satire, this is not serious, it’s meant to be funny

DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, IT WAS WRITTEN BY THREE HIGH THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS.

this is what you’ve been waiting for and hoping would never come

hearing voices, broken bones, emotional manipulation,

live, work, play, a simple life, protected, until a stranger comes.

i can’t give you a summary of the plot. that would ruin the story.

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part one)

the eternal rioting continues as it always will (part seventeen.)

let me know if i forgot to tag anything!!

blame the painkillers. i blame the painkillers.

[queerofdenial]

have fun (that is if you actually do this 🤨):

molly cobb

ava daniels

kathryn janeway

judith jones

bestie i hope you have a warm pillow tonight bc having to "least favorite" any of these blorbos hurts

questions are:

favorite thing about them

least favorite thing

brOTP

OTP

nOTP

random headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate with them

"here’s to selfish pricks, ‘cause we move the ball forward for mankind."

she's wholly uncompromising about who she is and what shes capable of, but still takes criticism and grows as a person! her confidence and ego are 100% earned and never feel like a Strong Woman Schtick

she had to keep walkin' straight into the destroying thing, didn't she. god damn hero.

i want an entire season of molly and patty mercury 13 backstory

molly x margo would have the best gay enemy sex and i would be so amused (but not as much as molly would) by stoned!margo

honestly don't think there are enough bad ships on famk, i adore wayne

she definitely spent months actively hitting on margo when she started ascan training just to annoy her. she and patty probably placed a bet on it.

she should've been stricter with the guys, and margo was right to fire her

hypnotized by fleetwood mac (second song on my molly x margo playlist)

"...you don't know where a woman gets fingered?"

i love that she's a wreck. i love that she overshares as a way to push people away because in reality she's lonely as hell and scared of true connection. i love that she uses generational stereotypes as jokes for the bit (and to rib at deb) when in reality she could really not give a damn. i love that she does drugs. i love that none of those things change the fact that she's talented and hardworking and fucking thriving. i love that she and i have the same relationship with growing up a gay loser with conservative parents in a new england suburb. i love that she's hot and spreads chocolate on her tiddies when she forgets shes wearing pants.

i hate that shes not real. jk, my least favorite thing is that she cannot for the life of her keep it in the drafts.

carl and hannah get along so well that every time ava and marcus interact i just knoooooow they want to genuinely admit to liking each other. i want more.

avadeb has in fact had my heart from day 1 and that will never change (its not gonna be canon you stupid sluts...ruby's cool too)

ava x not being woken up for breakfast

she's actually allergic to dogs and sucks it up for barry and cara only

unpopular opinion is that i am looking forward to seeing her absolutely thrive in season 3

kitchen light by xana

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship… and never abandon a member of your crew."

everything about janeway is my favorite thing about janeway, but especially what i said to you the other day about her being a woman and a captain but never feeling like a caricature of either or the other. her leadership feels different than the other pre-disco captains, but it's never tokenism.

she's got a questionable taste in men. also generally too nice to aliens that usually want to kill her.

if they were stuck in the delta quadrant any longer, tom paris would've named his second kid after her (maybe he already did? who knows what went on on that planet)

j7! i'm always a sucker for a former drone x person who gave the drone their name (a shortened version of their designation). also this (x)

sorry mutuals but ch*kotay takes the cake on this one by a mile

she thinks about that puppy q almost gave her pretty often on voyager, and has programmed a dog into every holodeck program she runs. when they get back to earth she adopts one of the puppies her old dog had from her ex. she names it neelix.

she made the right call with tuvix

all the things you are frances faye

"i'll be your eyes." "what?" "i'll. be. your. eyes."

above anything else, she does the work and supports the people she thinks are worthy, she thinks have something important to say, regardless of prestige. she's cute as a button and loyal to a fault and is exactly the right amount of talented and full of grace and humility for what she does.

she maaaaaay need to start learning what professional boundaries are (mainly irt how much of peoples' personal issues she can carry on her lonesome)

i could watch an entire season of judith and paul attempting to bake bread using the scientific method

blanchejudith my beloved. my milfiest ship. my repression central. my women who desperately need a weekend in vermont.

if julia/judith was a thing ig i do not want to see

i have lots of headcanons ab the cabin in vermont and how she uses that space to better both her editing and her writers' work

i don't think there are enough people in this fandom for anything to be controversial? she is an absolute gem

slip away clarence carter

[fkyumerica]

Mon 8:29 AM

do the puppies look any different today?

these gay guys keep competing at me

sports jar heads

helmet retards

i get to shoot all of them what mad judge

he's 40 now

come on

know how to talk to them and just breeze through all of them

like they did to their family

and family hey sports bar make some friends go to some gays

games

and we're big and gay too

punch $50

princess diaries

metal pieces megaphone every noise that sounds like sexx, and they microphone add on to it

like they are fucking you

is how you hear it

and feel it too heat

and turn it off, turn internet on, then turn it off again

gay black guys who inbred with all your mothers

and fathers, do it

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh noises all day

and uhhhhhhh did they find out, shoot them dope and their cum on it

and no no no cum on it first

then trace it

finger them and

uh cheated hit them

whoever was in the room

understand it or die

i have rule now

and

who wants to marry fuck her

sports teams

biggest guys now

if i did it i get all of them

and twiggy wont stop drinking with people who are not his friends

and lying to me

and all those men live together with them too

wont ungroup

and leave a band

still plays with them

im not it didnt ever say it

just did to live

and anybody thinks he is him to fuck me

walk in my house and drug at me with their moms

all sports teams are them too inbreds

hide the face under a mask

and it is one

their shield from their mothr

mother

and cocaine is soap keep using it and drinking it

Detroit Red Wings

Lyons dubs all-around. 🦁👑 #EasyToCelebrate x #LGRW

Facebook

who wants it i want to fight my kids now

and its just a ass fuck

all of them in the 80s did it

they nonstop slur

thinking they are fucking the boy in a dress

he look like a man

i'll leave him

the mother said it

and a girl? i'll take her get in a house-curly guy

a fat new jersey guy

https://www.facebook.com/friends/suggestions/?profile_id=100000129983533 like him, and him

Log in or sign up to view

https://www.facebook.com/friends/suggestions/?profile_id=100000093428886

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and all of you we make you

and i dont care we lie to get it all

and fuck you plug it in

look at a tree

i fuck you from behind

got you a christmas

got 8 on me

seriously play with them

https://www.facebook.com/watch?v=691726146459426 this was his fucking team

whatever guy in clueless was him, his dad, then kimmy, in order of sex with her for a cheerleader team

State Champs W

High School Cheerleading - Brighton | 1/17/24

Facebook

fly girls fuck all the guys and tell them they are fly

ask one gay guy he will tell you the anwsers

they dont wanna talk they wanna fuck it out and its hugs

moms to the inbreds- raise them for me because i dont wanna teach them to learn anything

the dads with the inbreds- i dont want them

i had to be one of these men

before and after my parents died

was it

they made me ugly

and i hate it

the cum on each person around them

to space them out

and grab their ball

husbands balls, sons balls, finger their daughters

and women love em

they would say to each other about their sons love em love em

so they fuccking did

love each others sons

when their son ran away from them

fucking for days i know he's alright

got pregnant by one the one they took in

to her

she took him in

and

the othre family came back when she got pregnant by him

and then she broke up with her husband

if they broke up it happened

Mon 9:54 AM

she causes bad energy getting up and static picking up electricity charging it with rubber bottom slippers

no you feel it

and the face show me and then the back of her

ass

and leave after

they get free food for it

and hey come back gay with her again safter

i just leave her after im not staying for this shit

she thinks she is in a relationship with me

talk slow and fast and stutter it

to get her and them off

and shh

shh

shh

shit load

and moan the whole time

she aint doin him

sent emails to me

and power

black word

for revolt

and we go in there

give me the food

0 cost trip

it goes down to the amount

will not understand to speak it ever

and electric turn it up

louder

shh er

reford it to me

not a real word and said the name

why revive them cause we wanna fuck

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/tJv4dlnYFl0 2 years old, and 7

😭රටම හැඩවමින් ඇය යන්නම ගියා😭 chamudi sandeepani funeral #shorts

whole tribe, same age

and guy who fucks them comes back at night

marilyn manson says he has one

is it dearborn like henry ford

they were outlawd to not fuck each other

still did on the freeway

parked next to it

they saw us we can go in their house

they said it in their car

looking at anyones house

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGiEoGbiPWs one lives as a dad

Getting Through Hard Times✨... Take It From Us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JYyYSucUn4 i was gonna celebrate valentines day

6-Year-Old With Apert Syndrome Needs Life-Saving Surgery | Body Bizarre

yea ia had a nose job

Mon 11:45 AM

they keep making bombs

the build up pisses people off

letting screams out of the microphones

and they keep the inbreds on them too and all they do is scream

they slice open their faces after and give them plastic surgery

Mon 12:40 PM

Make a Furina by...glass? #genshinimpact #genshin #furina #glassblowing

their grandmas didnt watch them to raise them with each other

grandkids in their relationship

together and apart and near each other

and how to live in the day to care for each other

and their family

Mon 2:51 PM

chris keeps cooking crystal meth and popping mercury in it melting it

to attack hitting

someone

holding them down with energy too

does it to waves

and what is under the ocean

they were never to get sea rocks and they froze them

like dip n dots

she dated guido guys she is a guido bitch

gave her son the world

Mon 4:03 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vdfqo4EZjVM I AM ARNOLDS DAD!!

Street Fighter II: The World Warrior as an 80s Action Movie

YEAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAA

FIGHT EVERYONE HERE

GOKU

im laughing so hard at the video you posted

too many puppies!

thanks for showing the puppies!

Mon 10:00 PM

Pirates of the Caribbean 6: Final Chapter | First Trailer (2024) | Jenna Ortega, Johnny Depp Concept

are you kidding me

these are the classes to be a police officer, the academy is shooting and being trained to workk the job

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7zF30zO2d0 fu dogs

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Weird question, but what extra body part or defence mechanism from the animal kingdom including invertebrates would you want to have in order to level the playing field with men. Like wings or protrusions or chemical defences etc. You are allowed only one and it cannot be something like a huge size difference like black widow spiders or something. No need to think of their actual mechanism of operation in human women. Men stay their usual self. Assume that women also stay mostly unchanged except for the extra part.

Huuhhh...I mean, I've thought antennae are better than noses, but that has no defensive value. Shitting out silk instead of, well, shit, would be cool, both a defense and offense, and anal sex would be purely between gay men, where it belongs. Functional wings would be awesome no matter what. Just fucking fly away if you can get off the ground quickly enough or just when you feel like it. Sadly I think this is probably the least effective as they would need to be huge since we don't have hollow bones and we'd probably need to jump off something. So no wings. Spines out of the arms would be neat, perfect for stabbing a man to death with your bare arms as he attempts to strangle you with his bare hands. Retractable fangs that inject venom would be cool too, though rendered ineffective with a gag, so maybe not. Horns or antlers would be awesome because even if he grabbed you by the arms to keep you from goring him, your arms and legs are still free and you can punch or knee him in the groin. Plus they grow back if broken off. A long prehensile tail would be good for balance and climbing and wrapping around the neck of an assailant. Plus who doesn't want an extra limb to carry things? Excreting toxic chemicals out of an orifice is awesome, but might have some limitations. Hmm...silk or toxins would be hard with clothes, horns might cause head trauma to yourself, arm spines might stab you, a tail is grabbable...Horns and spines grow back, silk or toxins would make them hesitant to take your clothes off, tail would be good if he's between your legs and got your wrists and very good for making an escape up a tree or running along a fence. This is hard. lol Well...I think toxins out the urethra, vagina, or anus. Because women would have to be unconscious for any forcible impregnation to occur since we'd just burn the dick of any dude who tried. And since that is the foundation of patriarchy, we would live in a very different world. Not that men don't indeed make women unconscious even now to get what they want, but it's one thing to happen occasionally and quite another to have to do it en masse, especially before widespread use of drugs that make you unconscious. Rape as a tool of genocide throughout the ages just wouldn't be a thing. Coercive rapes might still occur, though far less when women would know they had an effective weapon they could use, and violent stranger rapes would be virtually unheard of. We'd live in a very different world if men knew any woman he stuck his dick into could burn said dick or balls if she so felt like doing. And even making a woman unconscious would be a risk--people piss themselves when they're unconscious, especially if it's drug-induced. No reason women couldn't release her toxins. Men might want to subjugate women, but they'd have a very hard time doing it. I'm not sure sexism as we know it could have ever developed if we'd had this ability.

[hyperfixationspam]

fantasy high characters as things i've heard at school (from teachers and students)

Fig: Yeah, I used to be a hoe back in the day.

Fabian: All the girls want me for my money. I take you on a date, I buy you a gumball.

Fig: Kristen's a big lesbian, I'm a big bi, Fabian's a big... uh... whore?

Adaine: It's horrible here. Everyone's gay and it smells bad.

Goldenhoard: You're going to detention. | Fig: Oooh, cute!

Riz: On a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can possibly look, I'm a nineteen.

Fig: Just because anal is my catchphrase doesn't mean I like to do it.

Kristen: Hey, you want a condom? | Fabian: (through tears) Yeah.

Tracker: Kristen jokes about wanting to lose her virginity in a Walmart but she says it so much that it's kind of worrying.

Gorgug: I asked what a bukkake was and Jawbone came up and explained it to me.

Fabian: I thought you got an Apple and I was really proud of you but then I realized it was an Android and you're poor.

Bill: Hey! No sex in this household if you're not wearing full armor!

Fabian: There's no one here that I like. | Riz: I am sitting RIGHT next to you.

Ragh: I punch furries and minorities, and you're a double whammy.

Fig: Principal Aguefort lowkey has a handsome energy.

Fabian: I was in the middle of beating my meat and my battery died. | Riz: The battery in your dick??

Fig: If this school burns down, I'll be over here roasting marshmallows.

Gorgug: What would happen I call girls oatmeal? | Kristen: You'd get all the girls.

Fabian: If the vice principal's in prison, we're legally allowed to leave.

Riz: Aguefort is NOT a twink, he's a twunk at best.

Fig: (winks) That was a threat!

Gorgug: You won't find anything dirty in my search history, all you'll find is Japanese dubs of Phineas and Ferb.

Torek: I fucking hate this school. So many fake skaters.

Kristen: Riz! Stop biting the condom box!

Fabian: I can only listen to Oh No! by Marina and the Diamonds, any other music makes me physically sick.

Riz: My mom asked me what I want for my birthday and I don't know how to tell her I want a Spiderman costume.

Fig: I drew fanart of Coach Daybreak as a long furby and he threatened to kill me.

Gilear: People judge me for drinking too much diet soda but at least I don't do meth.

Kristen: He's not hot, he just has a leather jacket.

Fig: Everyone's first crush was on a Creepypasta character. | Adaine: Your experiences are NOT universal.

Gorgug: Oh, my single brain cell is TWEAKING right now.

Kristen: The answer is 69 but Biz wouldn't know that because virginity rocks.

Fig: My teacher kicked me out of class because he couldn't handle my energy.

Kristen: (chanting) KILL THE CHURCH! KILL THE CHURCH! KILL THE CHURCH!

Fig: Tieflings are a gateway drug to more tieflings.

Riz: I drink protein drinks! | Fabian: Oh, cool, what kind? | Riz: Um. Nesquik.

Adaine: I did bad on my test so now I have to listen to the entire Steven Universe soundtrack.

Fabian: (coughs up blood) That's from all the bad vibes at this school.

Riz: Hey, if I ate this rock, what diseases would I get?

Fig: Sometimes I forget how white Kristen is and then she does that little wave at me.

Kristen: I fuck Helioic girls until they're not Helioic anymore.

Fig: I just wish I could see Satan's face.

Fabian: I think we should restart the trend of shoving nerds in lockers, starting with Riz.

Riz: Stop staring at me and do your work. I'm not an attraction. I'm just a kid eating paper.

Aguefort: Don't wander around the hallways or the drug dealers will get you!

Fig: I'm having a crisis! No, I will not elaborate!

Ragh: Freshie is a slur.

Riz: If I had magic I would probably set my balls on fire.

Adaine: This class is singlehandedly making my hair go gray.

Ragh: Hey, do you mind if I beat your ass?

Kristen: Lift your head up, queen, your strap is falling.

Riz: Ew, I don't want your lice. My lice are fine on their own, thank you very much.

Kristen: God blocked me on Facebook.

Gorgug: Wait, pineapples are real?

Kristen: I'm trying to convert her to lesbianism. She's already a liberal so it shouldn't be hard.

Gorgug: Do you ever just wanna like... kill people? | Kristen: ...No?

Fig: Dude, are you watching porn? | Fabian: No! It's hentai!

Adaine: My sister asked me if she should get a tattoo of baby Yoda?

Riz: Someone offered to give me a stick and poke and I was too scared to say no so I have a tattoo now, I guess.

Gilear: I just don't understand why people are attracted to foxes.

Adaine: Well, I'm traumatized. | Jawbone: Noooo, don't do that!

Fabian: Good news, everyone! My fish died.

Ragh: It's like when you level up in a mobile game, except I leveled up to homosexuality.

Gorgug: The door's locked. | Riz: Only if you don't believe in yourself!

Sklonda: I'm concerned for your health and safety. | Riz: I don't have health or safety.

Adaine: Capitalism isn't a cult. | Fig: Money cult. | Adaine: Hm. Good point.

Fig: Ugh, I want her to crush my skull like a watermelon. | Adaine: Ayda would never do that! | Fig: Exactly, that's the best part!

Gorgug: Hey, Zelda, you wanna go see the Sonic movie together? We can hold hands during the scary parts.

Fabian: They're old enough to have sex, they're like 10.

Gorgug: I have a science question. How do the fish in Spongebob have a swimming pool if they live underwater? | Adaine: Spongebob's not real.

Adaine: And guess what lives in my backpack? My computer. | Ayda: Aww, I thought you were gonna say a small frog.

Fig: Someone needs to tell Aguefort that his teachers are wilin.

Gilear: I might be hungover on Wednesday but we'll power through it.

Kristen: I hate gay people because all my problems were caused by a gay person. It's me, but still.

Gorgug: I can't wait to go back to real school and get bullied.

Fig: Ooh, you practice Satanism? That's so poggers.

Fabian: You're all just Rally's fry crumbs to me.

Fig: If you have chemistry class, just leave. You don't need that kind of toxicity in your life.

Jawbone: Nooo, you don't suck! Unless you want to.

Adaine: It is shocking that people are still ignorant to racism just because they don't experience it firsthand. | Fabian: Yeah, anyway, y'all hear about Kanye cheating on Kim with Jeffree Star?

Aguefort: When I was your age, we attacked each other in person like civilized people!

Riz: Oh my god. The school is selling students on the dark web!

Fig: You should go to Build-a-bear! | Gilear: I think if I went to Build-a-bear alone I would get put on an FBI watchlist.

Riz: I forgot to take my antidepressants but I've had a coffee and two donuts so that's almost the same thing!

Fig: Goldenrod is my poor little meow meow.

Riz: Someone called me kawaii, I hate it here.

Adaine: Our lives aren't interesting enough for Aguefort to be in the mafia.

Kristen: Gilear is only slightly dilfy.

Gilear: Can you stop talking about the Aguefort hoes? I'm not interested.

Adaine: I like your egg earrings! | Ayda: THANKS THEY'RE EGGCELLENT. (exhale) Oh thank god, I've been waiting to say that all day.

Adaine: WHY WOULD YOU ERASE THE FROG YOU MURDERER??

Gilear: This yogurt tastes like my desire to kill myself.

Fabian: I'm NOT on crack, I'm just in sports mode.

Ragh: I'm gonna go home and do manly stuff. Like cower in pain.

Fig: Everyone here is bad at their job but I still respect them.

Gorgug: I'm a gamer! I play rock paper scissors.

Kristen: Uh oh, my lesbian's getting out of control. I might have to neuter her.

Jawbone: You're only tired because of capitalism. | Fabian: Could you elaborate on that? | Jawbone: I could.

Kristen: That wasn't very gender sexuality alliance of you.

Gorgug: I don't like insulting people. If I want to hurt someone, I'll just murder them.

Ragh: I have so much brawling to do.

Fabian: It's not that I don't hit women, I just don't hit lesbians because I know they'll beat the shit out of me.

Adaine: Forgiveness is not an option, but death is.

Riz: You called my mom a milf! | Fig: Well, what was I supposed to do? Lie?

Helio: That is an excellent question which I will not be answering.

Adaine: The librarian scares me. I feel like she would punch me without remorse.

Fabian: He's the Jack to my Rose but in a bromance way.

Kristen: If God loves me, I'll do good on this test.

Adaine: I'm not a big fan of trespassing. | Fig: Why not? It's so much fun!

Goldenhoard: Trust me, if I was racist, I would have called you a slur a long time ago.

Gorgug: Wow, this song is... bonkers.

Fig: I could never work in customer service. Like "oh have a nice day!" Gross. I could never.

[fruitcoops]

Please do more truth or drink I am OBSESSED

Your wish is my command! Thanks for the amazing response to Truth or Drink, everyone! These are so much fun to write and the Sirius/ Regulus dynamic is unparalleled <3 

Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

There is more cursing in this one, just fyi

“Bonjour!” Sirius and Regulus said in unison as they waved at the camera.

“Welcome back to Lion Pride Truth or Drink! I’m your captain, Sirius Black, and I’m here today with my brother Regulus.” Sirius reached for the unmarked bottle on the table. “Since he’s un bébé—”

“I’m nineteen, you fucker.”

“We���ll be drinking apple juice today instead of alcohol.”

“I can legally drink back in Quebec,” Regulus scowled as he took a sip of juice.

“First question, petit enfant! Have any of your friends thought I was good-looking?” Sirius tapped his card on the tabletop and grinned as Regulus grimaced.

“Not that I know of. They have taste.”

“Rude.”

A slow smile spread across Regulus’ face as he read his own card. “Who’s the smarter sibling?”

“Me, obviously.”

“Liar.” He turned to the camera. “It’s me. The younger sibling is always smarter.”

“That’s such bullshit.” Sirius flicked his first question at Regulus and took a new one. “How many sexual partners have you had?”

Regulus pulled a face. “None. That’s really not my thing. What’s the worst fight we’ve ever had?”

“That’s a tough one.” Sirius thought for a moment, biting his lip. “We don’t usually have big blowout fights. If I had to guess, I’d say you were most pissed at me when I left for Gryff.”

“Yeah, but you were really upset after the interview.”

“True. C’est la vie, I suppose.“ He read the next card and snorted. “Is there something about our childhood that we don’t like to talk about as adults? If so, should we talk about it now?”

Regulus laughed at that, short and sharp compared to Sirius’ low chuckle. “Uh, everything? And no, that’s what therapy is for.”

“Santé,” Sirius said with a grin, clinking their glasses together. “Alright, your turn.”

“Oh, I’d love to hear the answer to this one. Which one of us is the most successful and which one of us is the fuckup?”

“In whose opinion?” They sipped their juice at the same time. “I think we’re both pretty successful, but I know several people who would say we’re fuckups.”

“Like who?” Marlene asked off screen.

“Our parents,” Sirius said with a snort. “Alright, next question. What’s your biggest complaint about my current partner?”

“He’s quiet,” Regulus said without hesitating.

“You’re literally the quietest person I have ever met in my life.”

“Remus sneaks up on people, even when he isn’t trying!” he protested. “You need to put a bell on him. I came downstairs for water the other night and nearly had a heart attack when I turned on the kitchen light and he was already at the table.”

“Have you tried this amazing thing called a normal sleep schedule?”

“Shut the fuck up.” A balled-up wad of paper hit Sirius smack-dab in the forehead and he laughed. “What’s my biggest flaw?”

“Hmmm. You’re kind of bitchy sometimes.”

“Aw, thanks.”

“That’s not a compliment.”

“It is coming from you. I thought you were going to say something much worse.”

“Do you want me to? I can. You leave your laundry all over, you don’t know how to cook, you never text me back—”

“D’accord, I get it, I get it.” Regulus rolled his eyes.

“Have you—” Sirius sighed and covered his face with his hands. “Come on, Marlene, I can’t ask him this.”

Regulus kicked him lightly under the table. “Ask it, coward.”

“Have you ever heard me having sex? Please drink.”

“I lived with you for almost three months, of course I have,” Regulus scoffed as he took a sip of juice. “Honestly, it wasn’t as bad as the sappy flirting. That was gross.”

“It’s called ‘being in love’.”

“It’s called ‘being gross’, and I stand by that. Donne-moi les cartes. Who is stronger?”

“Noodle arms.”

“Fuck off, I’m stronger than you.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sirius set his elbow on the table and Regulus immediately grabbed his hand. “On three. One, two—”

He started pushing before he reached one and Regulus clenched his jaw; determination that usually only came out on the ice was etched on both their faces, though Sirius looked significantly steadier as he pressed down more and more. Finally, the back of Regulus’ hand hit the table with a low thud and Sirius whooped. “I’m still smarter,” Regulus grumbled as he flexed his fingers to get blood flow back into them.

“Sure you are, petit bébé. Well, I guess you can get your vengeance here: what’s your most mortifying memory of me?”

Regulus steepled his fingers under his chin and narrowed his eyes. “This is difficult, I can think of so many. Probably the time a seagull flew at you on the beach and you startled so bad you shoved your ice cream into your face. That was a beautiful moment.” Sirius cringed and Regulus looked back at the camera. “He was fourteen, if anyone was thinking this was a cute little kid moment.”

“Shut up, shut up, shut up—”

“Ooh, this one’s morbid.” Regulus raised his eyebrows at the final question. “If you had to choose one of us to die right now, who would it be?”

Sirius was visibly taken aback; he started to answer, then stopped and pressed his lips together. “Uh, me.”

“Really?” Regulus was clearly surprised.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“That…was not the answer I was expecting.” A more somber tone took over as he fiddled with the edges of the card.

“No?”

“No. You know, you’re—” He made a vague gesture. “Happy. Getting married. We didn’t talk for six years, and we weren’t exactly close before that.”

“Hey.” Sirius’ voice was soft as he squeezed Regulus’ hand. “Reg, you’re my little brother. I don’t want to even think about being in a world without you now that I’ve got you back.”

Regulus’ nose twitched and he took a long drink of apple juice. They sat quietly for a couple seconds until he cleared his throat and squeezed back. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“Can we—are there more embarrassing questions?” he asked the camera crew, blinking rapidly. Sirius quickly wiped the edge of his eyes on his shirtsleeve. “Please tell me I can be nosy and invasive again or the car ride home is going to be so uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, we’ve got a few,” Marlene laughed, though her voice sounded a little tight. “This is a speed round, so I’m going to ask a question and you’re both going to answer on the count of three.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius said, shifting slightly in his seat.

“First one: who is your favorite cousin? One, two, three.”

“Andromeda,” they said in unison.

“Name your favorite parent. One, two, three.”

“Neither.” The two men high-fived.

“What’s your favorite drug? One, two, three.”

There was an awkward pause. “Uh, Claritin?” Regulus said at last, making Sirius laugh.

“Last one. You two are notorious for looking similar and being mistaken for twins. Have you ever slept with the same person?”

“Merde, I hope not,” Sirius blurted before she counted down. “I’m gay and he’s ace so there’s really no crossover.” Regulus’ shoulders shook with silent laughter, and his eyes widened. “What? What did you do?”

“I thought he told you,” Regulus practically cackled as the color drained from Sirius’ face.

“Who told me what?”

“You had gone out to walk the dog and didn’t tell Remus, and I was—I was in the kitchen getting lunch out of the freezer,” he snickered. “He thought I was you and smacked me right on the ass.”

“No.” Pure delight overtook Sirius’ horror as Regulus nodded.

“The look on his face when I turned around was priceless. Went sheet-white, like he’d seen a ghost.”

Sirius dropped his forehead onto his forearms, wheezing with silent laughter. “Regulus, can you sign us off?” Marlene giggled behind the camera.

“Yeah, sorry.” Regulus took a few deep breaths, but almost lost it when Sirius looked up again. “I’m Regulus Black and this is my brother, Sirius. Thanks for watching!”

[transsexualhamlet]

SHERLOCK HOLMES REACTIONS PART THREE BECAUSE IM LOSING MY MIND

I am now reading The Sign of Four

-GREAT CHOICE TO START THE BOOK STRAIGHT OFF WITH “sherlock holmes was doing cocaine and i Wasn’t A Fan Of It” BFDSDFSHBEBFHEWHIWE

-BESTIE WENT “WOW SHERLOCK YOU HAVE BEEN DOING A LOT OF DRUGS LATELY HOW’S THAT GOING” AND SHERLOCK’S LIKE “YEAH DO YOU WANT SOME” AND WATSON DOESNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO RESPOND

-then watson is like bro im a doctor that shit is not actually good for you and sherlock is like Yes Im Aware but have you considered s h a p e s  a n d  c o l o r s watson have you c o n s i d e r e d them boom did ya ever think about that? checkmate liberals

-watson is like. in tears at this

-watson then refers to him as Comrade because sure why not

-hghefwhhfwhef from there we go directly into watson like “did you like a study in scarlet :) did you like it :) was it good :)” and the conversation they proceed to have is this

Like no that man just straight off went “DUDE WHY DID YOU PUT US BEING GAY INTO THE BOOK” “WELL IT’S TRUE” “YES BUT IT’S NOT SOMETHING PEOPLE WANT TO READ ABOUT” "BUT I WROTE IT FOR YOU" ???? i don’t even know how else to interpret that istg these dumbasses

-sherlock then changes the subject onto “you know what IS a good book? this book about the differences in the ash of 1000 different kinds of tobacco that I wrote and published!” and poor, poor watson is rocking back and forth in a corner

-sherlock then suddenly gets extremely depressed and is like “look outSIDE watson look at all those BUILDINGS and those PEOPLE and that sKY they’re NORMAL and EVERYTHINGS NORMAL and the crIMES ARE NORMAL and YOU CANT GET BY IF YOU ARENT NORMAL AND I WANNA DIE AND THATS WHY I HAVE TO DO DRUGS, WATSON, COPE.”

-he’s really going to talk to a client while high, huh? I think mary probably noticed too he was kind of a bit more insane than usual the whole time

-obviously this is different from yuumori this is her and watson’s first meeting 

-watson is very bisexual and is like “WOW WHAT A WOMAN. WOW THAT WOMAN SURE IS ATTRACTIVE AND SOMEONE I’D LIKE TO DATE AND THE SEX I AM SUPPOSED TO LIKE AND AROUND THE SAME AGE AS ME. WOW LOOK AT HER FACE IT’S SO SYMETRICAL SHE SOUNDS SO REASONABLE AND SENSIBLE AND NOT ON DRUGS” *glances at sherlock* *glances at sherlock* *glances at sh-*

-and sherlock’s response is I Don’T Find Women Attractive

-they then proceed to have an “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS” “IF SHE BREATHES SHES A THOT” showdown except sherlock is making absolutely no fucking sense for obvious reasons

-bitch is like “watson. watson. come on. have you ever SEEN a woman? I didn’t think so. Now the important thing is- watson listen to me when im talking to you- i don’t date women because they interfere with my work- No, no, you see- *mimes a curvy shape* *shakes finger* woman, gross. yucky. now- *draws a dick in the air* NOW THAT!! *claps* THAT’S THE STUFF WATSON- your opinions are wrong, watson- and ThAT’s why i should be allowed to do cocaine

-then directly after that he starts talking about how only Soy Boys TM have small loops on their cursive letters so it’s obvious that narrows down the search to these two Absolute Soy Boys. To which watson replies “I may be very obtuse, Holmes, but I fail to see what this suggests” and sherlock is like “no? you surprise me.” completely seriously

-it’s evident that sherlock is still high as balls right now

-Watson has given up on everything ever

-WATSON CALLED MARY A UNIT LMAO

-last but not least why does everyone who hears that watson’s a doctor like immediately ask to be checked out like on the spot. it’s probably bc they know watson’s a softie so he’ll do it for free

In conclusion sherlock is a fucking dumbass and watson deserves a break

[cactusnymph]

Prompt fill #4 for @dimension20alphabet:

Dares

“Hey Fig”, Fabian hears the Genasi girl—Romilda? Rowina? Ronalda?—say after their latest Bard class on Tuesday. He’s breathing heavily after finishing his latest dance routine and he’s not actively listening to their conversation, but Fig stopped beside him to ask if he wanted to try dancing to one of her new compositions.

 “I wanted to ask if you could—uh. Maybe give me the crystal number of your friend?”

 Fabian grins down at his battle sheet, trying to remember if Romilda—or whatever her name was—is pretty and whether or not he wants Fig to give her his number.

 “Which one?”, Fig asks, which is honestly ridiculous. He is easily the most attractive one—

 “Umm... Riz?”

 Fabian stops folding his battle sheet and blinks before straightening his back to turn his head. Rowina is twirling a very pretty, blue curl around her index finger. She’s very attractive and Fabian is not sure he heard correctly.

 “Oh, sorry. He’s not available”, Fig says with an apologetic smile and Fabian feels his stomach knot into something very unpleasant. Which makes sense, because first of all, The Ball always insists on him and Fabian being best friends. If Riz has a girlfriend, why wouldn’t Fabian know about it?

 Second, Fabian is offended because it’s completely preposterous that The Ball is supposed to be in a relationship while Fabian is not. That’s just absurd.

 Sure, The Ball is endearing and smart and funny and loyal. But he’s The Ball. Tiny, skinny, nerdy, socially awkward.

 “Oh... Oh, sorry, I didn’t know”, Ronalda says and seems very embarrassed before she turns around and rushes out of the classroom. Fig watches her leave and shakes her head before pulling a cigarette out of her backpack to put it behind her ear.

 “Since when is The Ball not available? And why the fuck would a girl like that want his number?”, Fabian asks Fig the second they step out of the classroom to head to the cafeteria.

 “Well, I just know that Riz just wouldn’t be interested in someone like that. And also, what the fuck Fabian, why are you being such a dick?”

 Fabian wants to know what Fig means by ‘someone like that’. He also wants to ask further questions but he’s sure that it might sound weird to get so defensive about something like this. It’s not like he’s actually interested in The Ball’s love life. Or who he’s potentially kissing. Because that would be weird.

 Plus, Fabian could get all the kisses that he wants. He just so happens to concentrate on his dancing right now. And if the whole thing with Aelwyn turned out to be a disaster, then that has nothing to do with him or what a great catch he is. That was simply because they weren’t actually as compatible as they originally thought.

 “I’m not being a dick, I’m just saying that it seems wild that someone would want The Ball’s number instead of mine!”

 Fig rolls her eyes at him.

 “She’s not the first one to ask, you know. Riz has gotten pretty popular after the whole Goldenrod thing at prom”, she says and looks at him with raised eyebrows. Fabian snorts disbelievingly.

 Sure, The Ball has changed a lot since they first met. And since, after their Spring Break, he stopped wearing his weird hat maybe Fabian would even go as far as to call him kind of handsome. If he thought about guys like that.

 Which he doesn’t.

 But the thought that all of a sudden people want to date The Ball is just ridiculous.

 “Oh yeah?”, Fabian asks and snorts a little louder than was maybe necessary. “And who else is interested in The Ball?”

 Fig narrows her eyes at Fabian and raises her hand before she starts listing names.

 “Theo from Barbarian class. Kat from clerics. Ragh said that Riz is cute just yesterday. And Gorgug keeps getting questions about Riz from the Bloodrush team.”

 She looks at him as if she’s expecting a very specific reaction from him. Fabian’s first thought is that he somehow feels like he should run every single guy on the team into the ground who asked Gorgug about Riz.

 Then he wonders why people never ask him about The Ball.

 Then he wonders if The Ball likes guys or girls. If Fabian remembers correctly Baron was a guy, but he was also a nightmare came to life and doesn’t count. Probably.

 Then Fabian gets annoyed again because he feels like he doesn’t know all these things.

 And then he thinks that maybe Ragh should stay in his lane.

 He tries to imagine Ragh and The Ball on a date together, getting their kisses in with each other and it’s ludicrous, completely insane, but his skin feels way too tight for his body all of a sudden and there’s a rush of heat in his abdomen that has nothing to do with dance practice.

 “You okay, dude?”, Fig wants to know as she carries her tray over to a table where Kristen, Adaine and Gorgug are already sitting.

 “What? Yeah. Sure. Whatever”, he snaps, sits down next to Gorgug and starts poking at the atrocity on his plate that is supposed to be lasagna but looks weirdly like something that might come alive and attack him at any moment.

 “What’s gotten his panties twisted?”, Kristen wants to know after one look at him.

 “He’s pissed because people want to date Riz”, Fig says and Fabian considers grabbing a handful lasagna and throwing it at Fig.

 “Why would you be pissed about that?”, Gorgug asks, confused. There is a beat of silence that makes Fabian raise his head just in time to realize that Adaine has cast Message to tell Gorgug something telepathically.

 Gorgug makes a face that shows way too much understanding for Fabian’s tastes because there is really nothing to understand about this whole situation. This is ridiculous. His friends are being ridiculous. And the idea of The Ball being popular is—

 “Hey guys”, a voice says and The Ball slides into the seat next to Fig.

 Did The Ball always have so many freckles? And hair that looks way too soft to be legal?

 Fabian stares at him.

 Riz stares back.

“What?”, he asks.

 “Nothing”, Fabian snaps and starts eating his lasagna. It tastes just as terrible as it looks. It’s hard to ignore the pointed looks that Gorgug, Fig, Adaine and Kristen exchange meaningful looks with each other.

 “Anyway”, Fig says, ignoring Fabian and turning to the others. “Theo is throwing a party this weekend, do you guys wanna go?”

 “Sure”, Kristen says.

 “Is it one of those parties where people drink way too much and then throw up all over the house?”, Adaine asks.

 Fig shrugs.

 “I don’t know. Theo is pretty chill and his parents aren’t home, but I guess it would be cool if we just. You know. Stayed in our group and chilled with some beer or whatever. And he said we don’t have to bring our own booze because I gave him one of our records for free.”

 “Sure. Yeah. We can like. Hang. Who knows, maybe I’ll even drink a whole beer this time”, The Ball says in the same voice he tends to use when he says the words ‘hooking up’.

 “No hard drugs though”, Gorgug says with a look at Fabian.

 “Hey! That wasn’t my idea! That dude just came up and kissed me straight on the mouth!”

 “Wait, you kissed a dude?”, Kristen wants to know.

 Fabian glares at her.

 “I didn’t kiss a dude. He kissed me, okay? It was during our boys’ night and I was very high afterwards.”

 “Must have been one hell of a kiss”, Kristen says with a smirk. Fabian is ready to throw his tray through the cafeteria but he doesn’t get the chance because at this point a dude he’s never seen before steps up to their table.

 “Hey Riz. You coming on Saturday? I invited Fig and you guys over to my party.”

 The Ball smiles awkwardly and scratches the back of his head.

 “Uh—yeah. I’ll be there, I guess.”

 “Sweet. See you then!”

 Fabian stares at the guy who is at least as tall as him, fucking jacked—probably because he’s in a damn barbarian class, and he has a damn eyebrow piercing. What a tool.

 Kristen wiggles her eyebrows at Riz and he has the nerve to blush darkgreen.

 “Stop it!”

 “Soo... Theo, huh?”, Kristen says.

 “Kristen”, Riz says and buries his face in his hands. Fabian wonders if Theo is the person who Fig was talking about when she said that The Ball is not available. And not interested in people like Romilda. He wouldn’t be, of course, if he’s into guys.

 Guys like Theo.

 The Ball is interested in guys. And Fabian didn’t know.

 *

 “Fabian, bro, you alright, dude? You seem a little on edge”, Ragh says on Friday while they’re out on the field throwing some balls—the irony doesn’t escape him.

 “Did you know that The Ball is into guys?”, Fabian asks before he manages to stop himself. Ragh throws the ball to him and Fabian catches it without issue before throwing it right back at Ragh, maybe a little harder than the ones before.

 “I mean, kinda? I don’t think Riz knows what he’s really into. Especially because he’s super freaked out about the whole sex thing, you know. But I guess he’s not not into guys. More into guys than girls. Why? That bother you?”

 Fabian isn’t sure how to explain to a gay guy that he’s offended about The Ball being into dudes without sounding like the worst homophobe. It’s not that he minds. He’s just pissed because he didn’t know. Because they’re supposed to be best friends—and okay, maybe The Ball was always very insistent on that and Fabian never actually confirmed it. But if Fabian is The Ball’s best friend, shouldn’t Fabian know about this?

 Doesn’t The Ball trust him?

 “I mean. No. Obviously not. I don’t give a shit”, Fabian says and watches as Ragh raises his eyebrows at him.

 “Dude, remember how we talked about feelings and letting them out and like, being truthful about our emotions and stuff?”

 Fabian does remember, but he refuses to acknowledge it.

 “Fig said that you think The Ball is cute”, Fabian says instead and Ragh shrugs, the ball still firm in his hands

 “I mean, yeah. He’s cute. He’s smart and super fucking badass. He has dimples when he smiles. Pretty adorable, if you ask me.”

 Fabian feels a rush of anger again and he doesn’t know where it’s coming from. Whoever invented emotions should be hunted down for sport and shot.

 “Well, I suppose, if you’re into stuff like that”, Fabian says. Ragh throws the ball at him, also a little harder than before.

 “Yeah, stuff like that. Like guys, dude”, he says.

 “Yeah. Like that. I wouldn’t know”, Fabian answers.

 Ragh opens his mouth to say something but he seems to decide against it and shakes his head.

 “Whatever, man. You’ll get there eventually”, Ragh says and Fabian has no idea what the fuck that is supposed to mean, but the next ball he throws flies wide.

 *

 Theo’s house is way smaller and less impressive than Fabian’s house—which is to be expected, but he still feels smug about it when the Bad Kids arrive at a red brick building with a garden full of sunflowers and a trampoline in the backyard that multiple people have already started using.

 Loud music, laughter and voices spill out of the open windows and onto the street as Fig pushes the small garden gate open and saunters up to the front door to ring the bell.

 “Damn, bro, you look sleek as fuck”, Ragh says to Fabian and hits him on the back with one his giants hands. Fabian manages not to stumble and grins. Ragh doesn’t have to know that Fabian took way longer than usual to get dressed because he is ready to get his kisses in tonight.

 He doesn’t care about Theo or about the fact that The Ball secretly likes guys. He can like whoever he wants and it’s of no concern to Fabian. For all he knows The Ball can kiss half Elmville and Fabian wouldn’t care one single bit about it.

 He keeps telling himself that as he follows the others into the house where people are already scattered in different rooms, many of them already drunk. There is a beerpong table set up in the living room where all other furniture has been pushed aside.

 “Hey guys”, Theo says as soon as he spots them and Fabian refuses to notice the way he grins down at The Ball  as if they were good friends. Which they are not. Since Riz already has a best friend and, in fact, an entire group of good friends, who are all here right now and of which Theo is definitely not a part.

 Now that Fabian stands in front of him he can see that Theo is in fact taller than him, half elven, half orc with light green skin and pointy ears, dark hair and wearing a black muscle shirt which Fabian finds endlessly offensive.

 “The guys were just talking about playing some old fashioned party games, do you guys wanna join?”, Theo asks and grabs some bottles of beer from a nearby table to hand them to Kristen, Riz and Gorgug. Fabian considers if it would be appropriate to deck Theo in the face because he didn’t offer Fabian a beer as well.

 “I’ve never really played any party games. What kind of games?”, Adaine wants to know. She’s holding Boggy with a look of mild concern on her face.

 “Oh, you know. Spin the bottle, truth or dare, that sort of stuff. Should be fun. Come on, I’ll introduce you!”, Theo proclaims and he throws an arm around Gorgug and waves all of them over to what seems to be a dining room that has been filled with a ton of pillows for people to sit on.

 Fabian doesn’t really know any of the people sitting here—Fig and Gorgug on the other hand know some of them from Barbarian classes. It turns out that Theo also participates in Druid classes, which Fabians finds weird.

 But he doesn’t have time to think too much about how much Theo sucks for various different reasons, because Ragh hollers excitedly, flings himself down on one of the pillows and pulls Fabian down with him.

 “Fuck yeah, dude. This rules! Here, have a beer!”

 Fabian has never played truth or dare before and he’s not particularly sure if he enjoys it. Adaine seems very on edge and picks truth every time, Fig on the other hand is delighted about giving people dares and picking dares herself. Kristen still has a hard time holding her liquor and insists on daring people to kiss each other. Then she starts crying because she misses Tracker.

 Riz is biting his nails as he watches people play and sips on the one beer he’s had since the beginning. Fabian doesn’t actually want to look at him for more than a few seconds, but The Ball is sitting directly next to Theo who is sprawled on one of his dumb pillows and seems to have the time of his life watching two of his buddies stick their tongues down each other’s throats.

 Someone dares Ragh to do a prank call on the vice principal and Ragh apologizes to Fig before he dials Gilear’s number to tell him that he won the lottery.

 “Fabian, bro! I feel like I should make you kiss someone”, Ragh shouts after he’s done and throws an arm around Fabian’s shoulder. Fabian laughs and considers all the girls sitting in the circle to figure out which one he’d like to kiss the most.

 “Make him kiss Riz”, Kristen calls and Fabian is confused for a second until what she said sinks in.

 “Kiss Riz! Kiss Riz! Kiss Riz!”

 Fabian’s eyes find The Ball’s face.

 His big, yellow eyes have grown impossibly wide and he stopped biting on his nails only to start chewing on his bottom lip in a way that looks dangerous with those sharp teeth.

 This is absurd. Fabian would never kiss The Ball.

 “What?”, he says with a half laugh. “No!”

 Fabian feels like this must be some kind of joke. He elbows Ragh in the ribs and says “Don’t be ridiculous.” and it takes him a few seconds to realize that the group of people around him has fallen silent.

 “Riz?”, Adaine says quietly.

 “I’ll be—uh. In the bathroom. Where the toilet is. To pee”, Riz stammers before fleeing out of the room as if the Nightmare King was chasing after him.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

Here's a shortlist of those who realized that I — a cis woman who'd identified as heterosexual for decades of life — was in fact actually bi, long before I realized it myself recently: my sister, all my friends, my boyfriend, and the TikTok algorithm.

On TikTok, the relationship between user and algorithm is uniquely (even sometimes uncannily) intimate. An app which seemingly contains as many multitudes of life experiences and niche communities as there are people in the world, we all start in the lowest common denominator of TikTok. Straight TikTok (as it's popularly dubbed) initially bombards your For You Page with the silly pet videos and viral teen dances that folks who don't use TikTok like to condescendingly reduce it to.

Quickly, though, TikTok begins reading your soul like some sort of divine digital oracle, prying open layers of your being never before known to your own conscious mind. The more you use it, the more tailored its content becomes to your deepest specificities, to the point where you get stuff that's so relatable that it can feel like a personal attack (in the best way) or (more dangerously) even a harmful trigger from lifelong traumas.

For example: I don't know what dark magic (read: privacy violations) immediately clued TikTok into the fact that I was half-Brazilian, but within days of first using it, Straight TikTok gave way to at first Portuguese-speaking then broader Latin TikTok. Feeling oddly seen (being white-passing and mostly American-raised, my Brazilian identity isn't often validated), I was liberal with the likes, knowing that engagement was the surefire way to go deeper down this identity-affirming corner of the social app.

TikTok made lots of assumptions from there, throwing me right down the boundless, beautiful, and oddest multiplicities of Alt TikTok, a counter to Straight TikTok's milquetoast mainstreamness.

Home to a wide spectrum of marginalized groups, I was giving out likes on my FYP like Oprah, smashing that heart button on every type of video: from TikTokers with disabilities, Black and Indigenous creators, political activists, body-stigma-busting fat women, and every glittering shade of the LGBTQ cornucopia. The faves were genuine, but also a way to support and help offset what I knew about the discriminatory biases in TikTok's algorithm.

My diverse range of likes started to get more specific by the minute, though. I wasn't just on general Black TikTok anymore, but Alt Cottagecore Middle-Class Black Girl TikTok (an actual label one creator gave her page's vibes). Then it was Queer Latina Roller Skating Girl TikTok, Women With Non-Hyperactive ADHD TikTok, and then a double whammy of Women Loving Women (WLW) TikTok alternating between beautiful lesbian couples and baby bisexuals.

Looking back at my history of likes, the transition from queer “ally” to “salivating simp” is almost imperceptible.

There was no one precise "aha" moment. I started getting "put a finger down" challenges that wouldn't reveal what you were putting a finger down for until the end. Then, 9-fingers deep (winkwink), I'd be congratulated for being 100% bisexual. Somewhere along the path of getting served multiple WLW Disney cosplays in a single day and even dom lesbian KinkTok roleplay — or whatever the fuck Bisexual Pirate TikTok is — deductive reasoning kind of spoke for itself.

But I will never forget the one video that was such a heat-seeking missile of a targeted attack that I was moved to finally text it to my group chat of WLW friends with a, "Wait, am I bi?" To which the overwhelming consensus was, "Magic 8 Ball says, 'Highly Likely.'"

Serendipitously posted during Pride Month, the video shows a girl shaking her head at the caption above her head, calling out confused and/or closeted queers who say shit like, "I think everyone is a LITTLE bisexual," to the tune of "Closer" by The Chainsmokers. When the lyrics land on the word "you," she points straight at the screen — at me — her finger and inquisitive look piercing my hopelessly bisexual soul like Cupid's goddamn arrow.

Oh no, the voice inside my head said, I have just been mercilessly perceived.

As someone who had, in fact, done feminist studies at a tiny liberal arts college with a gender gap of about 70 percent women, I'd of course dabbled. I've always been quick to bring up the Kinsey scale, to champion a true spectrum of sexuality, and to even declare (on multiple occasions) that I was, "straight, but would totally fuck that girl!"

Oh no, the voice inside my head returned, I've literally just been using extra words to say I was bi.

After consulting the expertise of my WLW friend group (whose mere existence, in retrospect, also should've clued me in on the flashing neon pink, purple, and blue flag of my raging bisexuality), I ran to my boyfriend to inform him of the "news."

"Yeah, baby, I know. We all know," he said kindly.

"How?!" I demanded.

Well for one, he pointed out, every time we came across a video of a hot girl while scrolling TikTok together, I'd without fail watch the whole way through, often more than once, regardless of content. (Apparently, straight girls do not tend to do this?) For another, I always breathlessly pointed out when we'd pass by a woman I found beautiful, often finding a way to send a compliment her way. ("I'm just a flirt!" I used to rationalize with a hand wave, "Obvs, I'm not actually sexually attracted to them!") Then, I guess, there were the TED Talk-like rants I'd subject him to about the thinly veiled queer relationship in Adventure Time between Princess Bubblegum and Marcelyne the Vampire Queen — which the cowards at Cartoon Network forced creators to keep as subtext!

And, well, when you lay it all out like that...

But my TikTok-fueled bisexual awakening might actually speak less to the omnipotence of the app's algorithm, and more to how heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

Sure, TikTok bombarded me with the thirst traps of my exact type of domineering masc lady queers, who reduced me to a puddle of drool I could no longer deny. But I also recalled a pivotal moment in college when I briefly questioned my heterosexuality, only to have a lesbian friend roll her eyes and chastise me for being one of those straight girls who leads Actual Queer Women on. I figured she must know better. So I never pursued any of my lady crushes in college, which meant I never experimented much sexually, which made me conclude that I couldn't call myself bisexual if I'd never had actual sex with a woman. I also didn't really enjoy lesbian porn much, though the fact that I'd often find myself fixating on the woman during heterosexual porn should've clued me into that probably coming more from how mainstream lesbian porn is designed for straight men.

The ubiquity of heterormativity, even when unwittingly perpetrated by members of the queer community, is such an effective self-sustaining cycle. Aside from being met with queer-gating (something I've since learned bi folks often experience), I had a hard time identifying my attraction to women as genuine attraction, simply because it felt different to how I was attracted to men.

Heteronormativity is truly one helluva drug.

So much of women's sexuality — of my sexuality — can feel defined by that carnivorous kind of validation you get from men. I met no societal resistance in fully embodying and exploring my desire for men, either (which, to be clear, was and is insatiable slut levels of wanting that peen.) But in retrospect, I wonder how many men I slept with not because I was truly attracted to them, but because I got off on how much they wanted me.

My attraction to women comes with a different texture of eroticism. With women (and bare with a baby bi, here), the attraction feels more shared, more mutual, more tender rather than possessive. It's no less raw or hot or all-consuming, don't get me wrong. But for me at least, it comes more from a place of equality rather than just power play. I love the way women seem to see right through me, to know me, without us really needing to say a word.

I am still, as it turns out, a sexual submissive through-and-through, regardless of what gender my would-be partner is. But, ignorantly and unknowingly, I'd been limiting my concept of who could embody dominant sexual personas to cis men. But when TikTok sent me down that glorious rabbit hole of masc women (who know exactly what they're doing, btw), I realized my attraction was not to men, but a certain type of masculinity. It didn't matter which body or genitalia that presentation came with.

There is something about TikTok that feels particularly suited to these journeys of sexual self-discovery and, in the case of women loving women, I don't think it's just the prescient algorithm. The short-form video format lends itself to lightning bolt-like jolts of soul-bearing nakedness, with the POV camera angles bucking conventions of the male gaze, which entrenches the language of film and TV in heterosexual male desire.

In fairness to me, I'm far from the only one who missed their inner gay for a long time — only to have her pop out like a queer jack-in-the-box throughout a near year-long quarantine that led many of us to join TikTok. There was the baby bi mom, and scores of others who no longer had to publicly perform their heterosexuality during lockdown — only to realize that, hey, maybe I'm not heterosexual at all?

Flooded with video after video affirming my suspicions, reflecting my exact experiences as they happened to others, the change in my sexual identity was so normalized on TikTok that I didn't even feel like I needed to formally "come out." I thought this safe home I'd found to foster my baby bisexuality online would extend into the real world.

But I was in for a rude awakening.

Testing out my bisexuality on other platforms, casually referring to it on Twitter, posting pictures of myself decked out in a rainbow skate outfit (which I bought before realizing I was queer), I received nothing but unquestioning support and validation. Eventually, I realized I should probably let some members of my family know before they learned through one of these posts, though.

Daunted by the idea of trying to tell my Latina Catholic mother and Swiss Army veteran father (who's had a crass running joke about me being a "lesbian" ever since I first declared myself a feminist at age 12), I chose the sibling closest to me. Seeing as how gender studies was one of her majors in college too, I thought it was a shoo-in. I sent an off-handed, joke-y but serious, "btw I'm bi now!" text, believing that's all that would be needed to receive the same nonchalant acceptance I found online.

It was not.

I didn't receive a response for two days. Hurt and panicked by what was potentially my first mild experience of homophobia, I called them out. They responded by insisting we need to have a phone call for such "serious" conversations. As I calmly tried to express my hurt on said call, I was told my text had been enough to make this sibling worry about my mental wellbeing. They said I should be more understanding of why it'd be hard for them to (and I'm paraphrasing) "think you were one way for twenty-eight years" before having to contend with me deciding I was now "something else."

But I wasn't "something else," I tried to explain, voice shaking. I hadn't knowingly been deceiving or hiding this part of me. I'd simply discovered a more appropriate label. But it was like we were speaking different languages. Other family members were more accepting, thankfully. There are many ways I'm exceptionally lucky, my IRL environment as supportive as Baby Bi TikTok. Namely, I'm in a loving relationship with a man who never once mistook any of it as a threat, instead giving me all the space in the world to understand this new facet of my sexuality.

I don't have it all figured out yet. But at least when someone asks if I listen to Girl in Red on social media, I know to answer with a resounding, "Yes," even though I've never listened to a single one of her songs. And for now, that's enough.

[cough-ii]

Foxes and friends as out of context quotes my lads and i have collected

"Ugh, I really want to put my fist in something" - dan on a bad day / neil everyday

“Life is a terminal disease” - andrew

“Stella what FUCK, you look like a noodle 😭” - kevin to neil

“This is gonna sound a bit chaotic… I have this ball of string” - matt

“The goal is to create chaos” - neil

“drugalicious” - nicky

“I feel uncomfortable christening a bag full of babies” - wymack

“girls stop touching each other” - wymack

“Math is a lifestyle” - neil post dead-arc

“Nhu put the guns away” - renee to andrew

“How DARE you crash my party” - allison

“I was pumped full of drugs” - literally all of the foxes

“People who go hard for their cottages” - allison about renee

“Do you wanna be emos and work in the dark?” - kevin studying with andrew and neil

“Where is my brain” - aaron

“We need to talk about what is going on in the bathrooms” - matt to andrew and neil

“Oh you little emos” - renee or dan to everyone else

“Europeans LOVE getting naked, walk around in June, July, August, whatever, they just love stripping down. Even in slavic countries […] That's just what they do, they love taking their clothes off” - kevin staring at Jean

“Sex and drugs and blah blah blah” - andrew

“Recycling children” - wymack

“I’m not sure if you know this but every person has a naked body” - the foxes when they finally see neil shirtless

“Oh dead people, awesome lets go” - andrew

“Does that mean you have no friends?” - neil to riko

“Keep hands a safe distance away from the stripper to avoid injuries” - allison to matt about dan

“That’s how uncrackable I am” - dan

“All I need is Mary Jane and a vibrator” - allison

“I’m a glorified thug” - andrew

“No stabbing in the classroom please. I don’t want to do all the paperwork,” - WYMACK

“I’m actually a huge fan of bulge” - nicky

“Wanna makeout?” - allison

“Are we holding hands?” - neil    “No, you’re holding mine” - andrew

“My ego’s not that big. It’s big, but not that big.” - kevin or aaron

“I’m a chick magnet” - nicky

“If they have hot dogs imma get a boner” - nicky

“God could be he, she or gay” - renee

“Why are you laughing, because I have a senior moment?” - matt

“I wanted to chat :( “ - matt to neil who starts to leave for night practise

“You’re not doing drugs?” “Why are you not doing drugs?” - nicky and aaron to andrew ab cracker dust

“I didn’t say bash them I said throw a chair at them” - allison

“He was putting glue on my shirt, so I asked him politely and he kept doing it so I cut his laptop in half” - dan

“or just be the bully, it is more fun that way” - neil

“I only smoke life, happiness” - matt

“Sorry it took so long to get my ass over here”- andrew to kevin at night practise

“Have a fun trippy time doing maths” - matt to neil doing homework

“Remember when we stole the VCR and took it to cash converters” - aaron to andrew

“Hurry up girls or I’m gonna get the whip out” - dan

‘That’s just the millennial in me”  - wymack

“Everything tastes better hard” - nicky

“who wakes up this early to kayak” - matt to neil about running

“Yep just let me die, oh wait I’m arrested” - neil / andrew

“If anything goes wrong blame it on the British” - all of the foxes except neil

“I’m sure boys wouldn’t mind doing CPR on your boob” - abby

“They are open for oral” - allison

“The dick of despair” - nicky

“Cleanse your eyes with bleach and holy water” - aaron

+

andrew: i dont care enough about it to hate it.

neil: you care about me?

andrew: (looks around)

neil: what are you trying to find?

andrew: my last fuck.

aaron: (looks around) where’s my will to live…

[stayextrafrosty]

I’m Dying for a Taste of You

Summary: Alex Manes is a vampire hunter tasked with hunting down rogues who kill humans. His next target is Michael Guerin. Known to sometimes over-indulge at the blood balls and was placed at the most recent scene by witnesses. But this might be more than Alex bargained for. Top Michael. Bottom Alex. Alex POV. PLEASE READ WARNINGS

A/N: I just wanted an excuse to have the two of them flirt while a weapon is pressed between them. Because reasons. I’ve left this open for continuation but I want to finish my other AU before starting a whole new one. There are the beginnings of a plot but this truly is just porn. Cute ending though.

Warnings: Please be aware that the kinks featured in here get intense. Light masochism, biting, blood drinking, overstimulation, marking/claiming, Dom/sub, Predator/prey, possessive behavior. There are some soft moments but it is very much a rough and dirty sex fest. Read at your own discretion.

Read on AO3 // Masterlist

-

Alex was no stranger to the smell of blood but this place made even him want to gag. Scantily clad men and women wandered around shamelessly, blood dripping from various wounds on their body. More power to them he supposed but how anyone could enjoy being sucked within an inch of their life by a vampire was beyond him.

Blood balls were the equivalent of drug dens. Except these were technically legal. Alex looked back at the police officers positioned at the doors and around the room. No one was supposed to die here but someone clearly missed that memo.

He knew he was overdressed. As a donor at least. He wanted to cover as much of his skin as possible without drawing suspicion. He didn’t need his target sniffing him out before he had time to take the shot. Not to mention he needed to keep his gun concealed. There was also a retractable knife slid into the side of his boot.

He looked down into his glass, the whiskey inside colored red from the lights surrounding him. He hadn’t seen his target yet. Then again, maybe he was already here, back in one of the private rooms drinking and being sucked off by his next victim.

“Hey there. You must be new,” a sweet, feminine voice said. He looked up as the young woman sat across from him. Her corset pushed her boobs up in a way he was sure drove any straight or bi man crazy. Long blonde hair and bright blue eyes. Tall, slender. She was beautiful. Or at least she was until he noticed the blood dribbling from the side of her lips.

“Sorry. I’m just observing today,” he said shyly, hoping it would get her to go away.

“Oh honey. Careful with that one. Remember where you are.” How could he forget. Her nails tapped on the table a couple times before she grinned at him, flashing her fangs. She made her way around the table to stand in front of him.

“Just a tip, the best way to know if you’re into this or not, is to jump right in. I’d be happy to go easy on you. Or, if I’m not your type… I know some sweet guys who would treat you right.”

His shoulders tensed. Not that this was a place where he should be nervous about being gay. Most vampires didn’t seem to care one way or another. The woman leaned in close, the smell of her perfume covering the blood pretty well.

“I also recommend leaving that gun tucked away,” she teased. His eyes darted around the room, checking to see if anyone heard her. But if she noticed, chances are the others did too. Was his cover blown before he even started the mission?

“Maybe you can help me then.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m looking for a rogue vampire. He’s been killing women he takes home from this place.”  She hummed and looked around.

“Does this vampire have a name or are you throwing around baseless claims, hunter.” Her voice was still sweet but there was an edge now. The nails on her fingers could almost certainly rip his throat out before he had time to react.

“The suspect is named Michael Guerin. Do you know him?” She barked out a laugh.

“You must be delusional. Michael wouldn’t hurt anyone. In fact, no one at this club does that kind of thing. If they do, we dispose of them ourselves.” He was taken aback. The woman played with the edge of her corset.

“I recommend you get out of here. You won’t find what you’re looking for,” she said, crossing her arms. He clenched his fists and stood slowly.

“I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

He turned and ran into a hard chest that didn’t budge. He gazed into golden brown eyes. A sharp jaw and a scruff that clearly hadn’t been shaved in days. A crown of curls sat atop his head and a lazy grin sat on his lips.

His shirt had the sleeves rolled up and buttons left undone. There was an unmistakable red stain covering the shirt. His slacks hung low, button and zipper left open. Alex wanted to drool at the sight. He mentally scolded himself. There was nothing attractive about a vampire.

“Someone looking for me?” His voice warmed Alex in places he knew it shouldn’t have. This was his target. “Should we go to my private room? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable on your first time,” he said, shamelessly looking Alex up and down. His cheeks warmed and he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Careful there brother. He’s a hunter,” the woman said.

“Thanks Izzy. I got this. I think that beautiful girl I saw you flirting with earlier is waiting.” Alex assumed she left. He couldn’t take his eyes of Michael. He must be using a charm of some sort. It was the only explanation. He was a professional damnit.

Alex shook his head and broke eye contact with him. Not all vampires could control minds that way but it was better safe than sorry.

“Please. Follow me,” Michael said, turning away from him. Alex’s head jerked up to watch him go. He shouldn’t follow. It was safer surrounded by people. But he was inviting him to be in close quarters, making it easier to kill him.

The two of them walked away from the slow throbbing music. They passed a couple. A man leaned over another, licking up the blood that had run down the other’s chest. The man being fed on was clearly into it. Their moans were vulgar and Alex turned away from them. How could anyone just do that in front of others?

Michael led him to a door, even going as far as to open it for him. He wanted to reach for his gun but pulling to early would compromise the mission. He had to wait until his guard was down. Vampires enter an intoxicated like state after feeding. That was his opening. If he had to spill a bit of blood to complete the mission then he would.

The door led to a long hall with several doors lining the walls all the way down. Michael walked down about halfway before stopping in front of another door. It had his name scrawled on a golden plaque.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to give me your gun mister hunter. I’m sure you can understand why. I’d hate to have to kill you before we get a chance to talk so best to just comply.” Alex met his stare for a brief moment before reaching inside his leather jacket to the holster for his gun.

He handed it over cautiously, praying that he didn’t just shoot him. Then again, Michael liked to drain his victims. There was never a single drop of spilled blood on the scene. Michael smiled and stepped inside the room. Alex followed him in and looked around.

The lighting in here was more normal though it still had a red tint. A loveseat sat to the side and a bed in the middle of the room, headboard pressed against a wall. Alex didn’t know what to do. The bed was too intimate. The loveseat reminded him too much of a casting couch from porn.

Michael fiddled with glasses at a small bar filled with various hard liquor and wine. He set the gun down next to an open bottle of bourbon. He must have been pretty confident to think that Alex couldn’t get it back from there.

“Well don’t just stand there. The bed and couch are cleaned between visitors.” Michael handed him a glass. He wasn’t going to drink it.

“I just have some questions for you. It wont take long,” he said.

“The first thing you say to me is a promise that I won’t get to enjoy this for long? Tell me, do you like to torture men?” Alex rolled his eyes but as hard as he tried, his flirting was getting to him.

“I just want to know if you’ve seen this girl,” he pulled the folded photo from his pocket and handed it to Michael. He looked at it for a moment and then shook his head.

“Can’t say that I have. Then again I don’t keep track of every person that comes here. And some guests opt to wear masks if you hadn’t noticed.” He had noticed. Which made this even harder. But this man had to be the killer. He was placed at multiple scenes by witnesses.

“How often do you leave with your food for the night,” he said, letting his disgust sneak through.

“Oh, I see. I’m a suspect.” Michael let out a heavy sigh, not seeming bothered by his comment in the slightest. He seemed more disappointed than defensive.

“Just answer the question,” Alex ordered. Michael’s nose twitched. He was moving into dangerous territory. This man could easily kill him if he wasn’t prepared. He shouldn’t be trying to piss him off but he couldn’t stop himself.

“For your information. We have rules.” He stepped closer. “We don’t leave with the donors. They all leave first.” Another step. “And we stay behind.” He was just a few inches away. “It’s also frowned upon to seek out donors outside of blood balls.” Alex’s breath hitched in his throat as he leaned in. Michael cursed under his breath and let out a heavy sigh. The tips of his fangs reflected the light.

“I don’t think you know how good you smell,” he muttered. Alex felt his cheeks flush. He tried backing up but his legs hit the loveseat, making him stumble back on it instead. Michael hovered over him, placing his hands on either side of his head. Alex couldn’t sink any farther into the couch.

Michael placed a knee between his legs on the couch, leaning into him. His eyes showed hunger and lust. Alex tried to squash down his own excitement. It was fucked up. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. He should be repulsed. But his body just wouldn’t listen.

Not wanting to ruin his jacket (at least that’s what he told himself) he shrugged it off and tossed it to the side. His heart raced when Michael groaned and ran his tongue over his teeth.

“I knew you liked teasing. I promise to be gentle.” Alex gripped the couch as his head moved to the crook of his neck. He tried to stay still but he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and pull him closer. Michael’s breath tickled his neck. “You can ask me to stop,” he said, voice shaking with need.

He wanted to. He didn’t want to.

This man was a murderer and he needed to end this before he was the next victim. Alex stamped down his desire and shoved Michael back. He wished he could have appreciated the surprise on his face longer.

He grabbed the knife in his boot, flicking the blade open. He tackled the vampire to the ground, straddling his hips, knife pressed to his neck. Michael just laughed and watched him.

“Now that you have me like this what exactly do you intend to do?”

“You will die here. You didn’t show mercy to those girls and I refuse to show mercy to you!” He pressed the blade into his skin, drawing a line of blood. This was it. All he had to do was pull and he would die. At least long enough to put a bullet in his head.

So why did he fucking hesitate?

“One second too long hunter.”

He was flung back. Or rather carried by Michael. His back hit the wall, knocking the air from his lungs. His hand wrapped firmly around his neck. Michael snarled at him, fangs on full display for Alex to see. He twisted the knife from his grip.

“Kill me if you want! There’ll just be more,” Alex threatened. Michael traced the point of the knife down Alex’s face, never pressing hard enough to draw blood. He shook his head.

“I don’t want to kill you. It would be a waste of a beautiful face.” he responded. His eyes flicked down. “Your body is far better suited for pleasure.” He knew he was blushing. What was this game they were playing? He dragged the knife over his neck and down his chest. His muscles tensed and he hated the way his cock responded. This had to be a spell.

“You don’t know shit about me! It’s not real pleasure if you have to put someone under a spell.” Michael’s eye twitched with annoyance. He pulled the knife away and released his grip on his throat.

What the hell?

“I don’t use that shit. It’s better if they actually want it.” He paused and shook his head. “I didn’t hurt those girls either. But you’re going to believe what you want.”

Michael turned away from him and moved back to where he had set the gun down. He picked it up after retracting the blade of the knife. He walked back to stand in front of Alex, holding out both weapons in front of him.

“Just leave hunter.” He took the gun and knife from him, wide eyed. They never taught them what to do when the vampire gives the weapons back. Especially not with a face that looked so crushed. Michael was back to pouring himself another drink

“Alex,” he found himself saying. Michael’s head turned slightly.

“What?”

“My name is Alex. So you can stop calling me ‘Hunter.’”

“Why tell me? We’re never going to see each other again,” he said with a humorless laugh.

“Well that would be a shame,” Alex joked back without thinking.

He wanted to eat his words. For a second he forgot he was dealing with a vampire. He didn’t want to flirt with him. But the way the muscles in his back flexed at his words made it hard to regret. He watched his hands grip the bar, knuckles turning white.

“Leave Alex. Or I might do something you don’t want.”

Alex should leave. He knows it. But that look was so lost. So broken. And so familiar. He’d seen that look on himself in the mirror. He dropped his weapons on the couch, watching Michael’s shoulders jump at the sudden noise.

He took slow cautious steps toward the vampire, watching his breathing grow more erratic with every step.

“Please, don’t come any closer,” he begged. Alex stopped. He was close enough to touch him but didn’t want to upset him further. “I told you that you smelled good. That was an extreme understatement.” Alex stood there quietly for a moment, heart racing.

“What do I smell like,” he asked quietly. Michael let out a strained whine.

“Like fucking heaven. Vanilla, leather, alcohol and about a million other things. I can hear your heart racing you know. I’m scared that if I were to taste you, it would never be enough.” Alex swallowed.

“Why?” Michael spun around and stepped into his personal space, their noses nearly touching. His fangs were fully extended

“Because I can tell. You’re blood would be like top shelf drugs. There’s other vamps out there that can smell you and are pissed they can’t have you. Don’t let any vampire have you, understand? Claiming would be inevitable.”

He had only heard the most basic information about a vampires claim. They usually did it with another vampire but sometimes they would claim a human. It was the equivalent of marriage. He didn’t know much about the actual process.

“I understand.”

Michael stepped back again, running his hands over his face, probably trying to make his fangs go away. Alex knew that wasn’t easy. Once they had been pushed that far, it was either feed or starve until you can distract yourself from it. Like an even worse form of blue balls.

The thing was. If Alex left right now, Michael would go back out there and find some other donor to satisfy him. The thought made him clench his fists. Why was he jealous? It wasn’t like Michael was his. He didn’t want anyone to drink his blood. Even if it was someone as beautiful as Michael.

Alex turned away from him to grab his jacket and weapons. They would never see each other again after tonight. He would keep looking into the deaths of the girls. But he knew for certain it wasn’t Michael. He picked up his jacket and held it on his arm. He looked down at the knife. Then the gun. Then the knife again. He dropped his jacket.

He picked up the blade and flicked it open.

Am I really going to do this?

Yes. He was. He pressed the blade to the pad of his hand. He sliced.

The knife was flung out of his hand and he was pressed against the wall once again. Michael’s eyes were filled with fury and hunger. Heat shot straight down to his groin.

“What the fuck are you doing? I just said—”

“Drink.” Blood dripped down his arm. Michael’s eyes were wide and desperate.

“Alex,” he groaned.

He pushed his hand closer to his face. Michael just turned away. Fighting every natural instinct he should have. Alex pulled his hand back, pressing his own mouth to his wound. His blood was warm and tasted coppery. Though he knew it would be different for Michael.

Michael gasped like he was in pain. Maybe he was. Either way he didn’t hold Alex down hard enough to restrict his movements. He lifted his non-bleeding hand to turn Michael toward him again. Their eyes met briefly. Alex leaned in slowly, wanting to give him the option to back out.

The blood on his lips should have repulsed him. Yet he was finding that none of this was repulsing if it was Michael. Their mouths pressed together. Michael tried to keep his tongue from licking at the blood on his mouth but it was no use.

A shudder ran through Michael. Then he was yanking Alex flush against him, tongue driving past his lips to taste his own. Alex whimpered as his fangs grazed over his bottom lip. Suddenly he was laying on the bed, Michael positioned between his legs and hovering over him.

“I’m sorry,” he said desperately. He leaned to lick up the blood that had dripped and Alex’s hips rolled of their own accord. Michael groaned, pressing his hips against Alex in return.

Michael sealed his mouth over the cut, tongue running over the shallow wound and sucking gently. His teeth scraped but never pierced skin. Alex pushed his shirt off one shoulder and Michael yanked his arm out and the other followed. He tossed it somewhere in the room and moaned when Alex ran his hand over his torso.

He watched Michael in awe. It looked like he was kissing his hand. It was beautiful.

After a minute or so, Michael pulled away, a drop of blood still on his lips. Alex leaned up to kiss him again, wrapping an arm around his neck. His hands found the hem of his t-shirt and pulled up. They broke apart to toss it away as well.

Their skin moved against one another so easily, like they were made for this. For each other.

Michael broke the kiss again, resting his forehead against Alex’s. His teeth still hadn’t retracted. Alex, stroked his face softly. Then he turned his head to the side, exposing his neck.

“Fuck Alex. I said don’t let anyone have you. That includes me,” he said, tracing his fingers over his pulse point. His mouth may as well have been watering.

“But you need it don’t you?” Alex glanced back at him, angling his head further, encouraging him. Michael pressed his mouth against his neck, licking slowly. He kissed and sucked but never bit him. Alex rolled his hips again.

“I can find another donor. I won’t hurt you,” Michael pleaded. His voice was strained. It was taking everything he had to resist. A stab of pain in his heart. He shoved Michael back and grabbed his face, forcing him to meet his eyes.

“I don’t want you to find another donor.” His eyes flashed red, bloodlust taking over him. Alex leaned in close, pressing a hard, fast kiss to his mouth. He wasn’t afraid. This beast could kill him but he wasn’t afraid. He dragged his lips down Michael’s jaw and neck until he got to his pulse point. Then he bit.

Alex was yanked fully onto the bed, arms pinned above him. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to. Pure power rolled off Michael in waves. Alex knew the dangers of triggering bloodlust but he did it anyway. He wanted it more than anything. Wanted Michael to just take what he needed. But he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, Michael wouldn’t hurt him either.

“You want this, Hunter? Fine. But we do it my way.” He laughed, burying his face against his neck, teeth scratching gently. Alex’s jeans were too tight and he wanted nothing more than to have them ripped off of him. Literally. “Never thought I’d see the day a hunter would beg for it like this,” he teased.

“Shut up and kiss me before I change my mind,” he ordered. Michael just shook his head, leaning close.

“Bossy, bossy.” He kissed him again. All the vampires he had interacted with until now had been almost cool to the touch. But Michael… he was as warm as Alex. Maybe it was the bloodlust or the desire but fuck if he didn’t love it.

He dug his nails into his back, pulling him in. Other guys he had been with hadn’t been into that but vampires were different. They lived for the pain. Or rather, as he was learning, the line between pain and pleasure.

Michael moaned and nipped at his bottom lip. This time though, he let his fang catch, letting a drop of blood form before licking it away. His body shuddered at the taste. Alex didn’t know how he could be turned on but if he went to hell for the things he was feeling right now, then it would all be worth it.

Michael released his arms, dragging his hands down his body to the waistband of his jeans. His nimble fingers undid the button and zipper, yanking them down quickly. He broke the kiss again, making Alex whimper from the loss of contact.

“Patient hunter. I know you can be.” The nickname was no longer filled with suspicion and annoyance. Rather it sent another shot of need to his hard dick.

Michael went to pull his jeans completely off but stopped short of his knee. Alex froze. In all the tension and fighting, he had completely forgotten about his missing leg. He had never been so gone to forget that. What was this man doing to him? He looked down at Michael, worried this would make him stop all together.

“On or off?” It was such a simple question. But the fact that he had asked, while still very much in bloodlust had Alex relaxing back against the bed again.

“I can move better with it on. But if you want it off so you can have your wicked way with me…” Michael laughed and pressed his head against Alex’s thigh, nuzzling him.

“If you’ll let me, I’ll take care of you,” he assured. Alex nodded and sat up, beginning the process of removing the prosthetic. Michael moved to a different part of his body. He crawled around behind Alex and was kissing his shoulders, hands roaming all over his biceps and torso.

Alex tried to not get distracted but damn that mouth. His tongue darted out every now and then, wetting his skin. When he finally got it off along with the sock, Michael took it from him gently, setting it on the floor.

He resumed his attention on his shoulders and neck. Alex relaxed against him, whimpering sounds slipping from his mouth. Michael had found his pulse point again and was paying special focus on that one spot. His hands wandered down to his underwear and the very noticeable bulge. Alex groaned when he cupped him through the fabric. Michael didn’t tease long before he had pulled him out of the constricting material, rubbing him slowly.

“Fuck,” Alex sighed out. He felt Michael’s grin on his neck. Alex reached behind him, tangling his fingers in the beautiful curls, pressing his mouth over his artery. This pulled a moan from Michael.

“I’m dying for a taste of you. Please, can I have you,” he begged. Alex felt his teeth again and his cock jumped in anticipation.

“Yes,” he breathed out.

Michael didn’t go straight in like he thought he would. He pulled away from his neck, a tight control on his movements. He readjusted so that he sat behind Alex, legs on either side, body pressed flush against Alex’s. His slacks did nothing to hide his obvious arousal and it pressed against Alex’s lower back.

“Lean back against me and relax as much as you can,” he ordered gently. His hand continued stroking him, though it was more a second thought. Alex did as he was told, running his hands over what he could reach of Michael’s arms.

Michael’s free hand held his jaw gently, tilting his head to the side. He locked his lips over the spot again but still didn’t bite. He sucked and massaged with his tongue, serving only to work Alex up, making him thrust into the hand still wrapped around his cock. When he was satisfied, he pulled away, speaking low next to Alex’s ear.

“This might hurt at first. But it’ll get better. Trust me.” And he did. Alex didn’t know why, but he did.

Michael licked his neck again. Desire coiled in his stomach. A light pinch, then a throbbing pain. He gasped as Michael’s teeth sunk into him. His first instinct was to yank himself away but the warmth spreading throughout his body called for a different reaction.

His hand found its way into Michael’s curls again, holding him in place. His eyes fluttered shut, getting lost in the feeling of having Michael attached to his neck. He felt more than heard him groan. His hips jerked up into his hand again.

The dizziness set in quick, as though he had been drugged. Every part of his body felt like a nerve ending and all he wanted was Michael’s hands everywhere. The hand wrapped around his cock stroked with more purpose. Alex moaned loudly, not caring if anyone heard. Maybe even wanting people to hear.

He could feel Michael’s tongue licking at his neck where the blood dripped. His hips stuttered, struggling to keep up with the pace Michael set. Alex cursed and tugged on his hair. Desire twisted in his stomach and every muscle in his body flexed.

His orgasm hit harder than he expected. His back arched away from Michael though he was held in place. White stripes spurt over his torso and Michael’s hand. His body shuddered as he kept working him, overstimulating to the point of pain.

“Fuck! Michael…” he gasped out. He felt Michael detach from his throat. He pressed his tongue to the wounds, slowing the bleeding. He released his cock, running his hands up over his torso and through the cum. Alex whimpered at the touches. Every nerve in his body screamed for more while simultaneously making him want to run away for a bit of relief.

The waves kept rolling through his body, as though he hadn’t come down from his orgasm. He dug his fingers into Michael’s head and twisted his other hand into the sheets. The small moans only seemed to urge Michael on. He ran his hands over every part of Alex he could reach. He pressed gentle kisses to his neck.

“Shh… it’ll pass. Just relax,” he whispered to him.

“What… did you… do…” Alex panted out as his cock attempted to reharden.

“It’s my venom. I use it to take away the pain.”

Vampire venom. Sold on the black market as a party drug. When used in excess, it can put someone out for almost a day. In small doses, an aphrodisiac. When injected straight into the bloodstream…

“Fuck I feel everything… it’s too much, damnit!”

“It’ll wear off in a couple minutes. I’ll let you go until then.” Michael released him. He moved fluidly, not even brushing against Alex as he got off the bed. Alex scratched at his skin. He reached in the direction of the vampire. His fingers brushed against strong abs.

He refocused his eyes and took in the beautiful sight of him. His slacks still hung low and open. Enough that Alex could tell he didn’t have any underwear on. His muscles tensed under his fingers. He dragged his gaze up his body and finally landed on his face. Blood dripped from his lips and his pupils were dilated. His teeth had retracted so they only looked slightly longer than normal.

Alex grabbed his wrist, pulling him back onto the bed and on top of him. Michael let his surprise show when Alex grabbed him and kissed him. He hesitated at first but soon he was kissing Alex with all of his pent up need.

Alex grabbed his slacks, yanking them down to free his cock. He needed Michael inside him. Prep be damned.

“Fuck me. I need you to fuck me,” he pleaded, trying to pull him closer. He kicked off his own underwear in the process. Michael groaned and kissed him again. Alex felt the prick of his teeth.

“Damnit,” he cursed, pulling away from the kiss and hiding his face. Alex had caught the briefest glimpse of his teeth. Alex reached up to pull the hand away from his mouth. The teeth were already back. “I knew you would be a fucking addiction. I’ve had you and now... It doesn’t help when you say things that make me want to claim you,” he growled as he nuzzled against his shoulder. Alex’s heart flipped. He knew it shouldn’t have but this man turned out to be an addiction for him too.

“I need you Michael,” he mumbled again, taking his hand and dragging it down his body. His cock was half hard again. He was ready. Michael felt this and gave a low laugh.

“Who am I to deny you, hunter?” Michael was gone for less than a second before he was settling between Alex’s thighs, a bottle of lube in his hand.

Michael kissed his thighs as he coated two fingers with lube. Alex tried to keep as still as possible but the venom still working its way through his system had him thrusting toward wherever Michael touched him.

Michael rubbed around his puckered hole, the cool temperature of the lube a startling contrast to his own body. He pushed himself up on his elbows so he could watch Michael. The sweat that had formed on his neck rolled down his chest.

“Fuck, you smell even sweeter down here. But I feel like you’ll be pissed if I mark you up too much,” he said, nuzzling the soft inside of his thigh. He pressed a finger inside him, moving slowly. Teasing.

Alex let out a strained moan, the sound catching in his throat. He had to know what he was doing. How drawing this out drove him so crazy. He’d always been a patient person but with Michael, it wasn’t fast enough. He grabbed Michael’s hair, forcing him to look up at him.

“Mark me up as much as you want. But move your damn fingers faster or I might kill you,” he threatened. A sinful smirk grew on his face.

“You really know how to get a guy going,” he teased back. Alex would have responded but the finger that had been teasing him curved up, pressing against his prostate. His head rolled back as he released Michael’s hair and a second finger pushed in with the first.

The damned things fucked him open as he felt Michael’s tongue on his thigh. A quick nip then the sharp pinch of his teeth. The pain was hardly there compared to the first bite. The warmth that had been subsiding roared back to an inferno. His brain didn’t know what to focus on.

Michael decided for him as he scissored his fingers and began pushing a third in. He massaged the muscles, rubbing against Alex’s prostate more with every thrust. He was close again. Twice in less than ten minutes. It had to be a record. For him at least.

“Gunna… come…” He mumbled out. His hips moved with the thrusting of his fingers, forcing them deeper. Michael groaned and lifted the leg he was attached to over his shoulder, opening Alex up and giving him a better angle.

Michael seemed to bite down harder, sending a sting of pain through him. The not unwelcome feeling made his cock jump. He panted, reaching down to tangle his fingers in Michael’s hair again. He cursed as the fingers buried inside him spread him open. They twisted and curled to press against all the right places.

It was the press of a fourth finger that sent him spiraling over the edge again. His vision went white as it pushed in with the others. A choked sob ripped from his throat as his hips jerked, adding to the mess covering his torso. Alex fell to the bed, back arching as he gripped the sheets and Michael’s hair.

He felt Michael detach himself from his thigh, licking at the wounds to stop the bleeding. He pulled his fingers out of Alex’s ass slowly, careful to not press against any more sensitive areas. Alex’s head was spinning. Was it the orgasm or the loss of blood?

His hand fell from Michael’s hair as he crawled up his body, hovering over him. Alex’s half lidded eyes let him take in the beautiful man. He looked every bit like a predator deciding how to kill its prey. The blood that ran down his jaw and neck only made Alex want him more. He belonged to this man now. There wasn’t a single doubt in his mind.

Michael leaned in close, nuzzled the side of his neck that he hadn’t bit. Alex whimpered as his head rolled to the side. He would let this man kill him if he wanted. Michael exhaled a laugh, pressing soft kisses to his jaw and over his cheek. A gentle finger turned Alex’s head back to face him. Michael kissed him gently.

“No more. Don’t need you passing out from blood loss.” He brushed a piece of hair off Alex’s forehead, smiling sweetly. “You ok?”

Alex didn’t know if he could give an answer. He felt more than ok but also very obviously not thinking clearly. His body burned from the venom but he found that it wasn’t like before. He wasn’t desperate for more but Michael’s hands on his body were a welcome feeling rather than a painful one.

“I think so. What did you do,” he asked slowly when he found his words again.

“I took back some of the venom. While another vampire might be able to handle going a third round right away, I’m well aware you’re just a human,” he joked, rolling off and propping himself up on his elbow.

Alex looked over at him in all his naked glory. He was still rock hard and Alex felt bad that he hadn’t gotten off yet.

“You saying I’m not as good as another vampire,” he teased half-heartedly. Michael rolled his eyes and leaned in, speaking low against his ear.

“You far surpass any vampire. But if you were one… I could fuck you all night.” His heart hammered in his chest. Michael’s fingers traced patterns over his arm and torso, placing featherlight kisses to the spot under his ear and his jaw.

“You’re saying you want to turn me?” Michael froze in his movements, his body tensing.

“Careful Alex. Even suggesting it - especially when I’m high on you - the temptation is there. The idea of having you with me forever… fuck I want it. But you don’t deserve that kind of life.”

His heart skipped a beat. The idea didn’t exactly make him cringe or feel disgusted. Anything to keep this man next to him. His brain wasn’t in a right state and he knew it. As much as he wanted to believe it was.

He didn’t respond to the words. Just turned to face the vampire. He pushed him to his back slowly, pressing kisses to his collarbone and moving down his torso. Michael sighed happily, gently running his hand through Alex’s hair.

He nipped at the muscles on his sides, earning him a mixture of laughs and quiet moans. Alex wrapped his hand around his hard cock, rubbing slowly as he kissed his abs and down to his hips.

“Fuck Alex,” he breathed out. He felt himself grin. He moved and licked the head of his cock. Michael groaned and rolled his hips slightly. Alex took him into his mouth, using his hand to control how deep he went. The weight was heavy on his tongue and the salty taste made him moan. He hadn’t given head in a long time and he was remembering why he loved it so much. Then again, maybe it was just Michael.

Alex moved his tongue to massage the length of him. Michael rocked his hips slowly, never rushing him, just petting his head softly. He occasionally pulled but never hard. Alex relaxed his jaw, taking in more of him every downstroke. The head eventually hit the back of his throat. He held him there for a moment, loving the feel of him throbbing in his mouth.

Alex looked up at Michael through his eyelashes. He groaned and his hips jerked, making Alex gag slightly.

“Your mouth is a sin, hunter. I don’t know how long I can keep from fucking it.” The words sent desire straight to his cock. Though he wasn’t quite ready to have Michael abusing his ass again, he could at least give him a good blowjob.

Alex moaned around his cock, removing the hand wrapped around the base to run over his thighs. He dug his nails into the soft skin and scratched. Michael’s hips jerked again but he didn’t gag this time.

“You want me to fuck your mouth? Use you? Take what I want?” Alex groaned at the thought. That was exactly what he wanted. Michael pulled him off his cock. He released him with a wet pop and smirked at the vampire. He shook his head before climbing off the bed and standing at the edge.

“Lay down you damn brat.” Alex positioned himself on his stomach in front of him. He looked up at him, waiting for instructions. Michael ran a hand through his hair and down his face, looking at him almost lovingly.

“Tap my leg twice if it’s too much.” Alex nodded. “Words,” he ordered. Alex shuddered at the demanding tone.

“Ok.” Michael smiled and leaned down, pressing a kiss to his mouth. He pulled back slightly, still close enough for their lips to touch when he spoke.

“Now open your mouth and look at me the whole time.” Alex watched him as he stood up. He opened his mouth as ordered, waiting for any further requests. There were none as the fingers in his hair tugged gently and Michael was slipping his dick into his mouth.

Alex wanted to let his eyes close to focus on the feeling of him but he didn’t want to disobey him. Somehow he thought he might regret it. Michael moaned and started rocking his hips, slowly at first. He did the same as Alex had done earlier, working himself all the way in as to not choke him. Though Alex wouldn’t have minded it.

Michael hit the back of his throat and he shuddered at the feeling. His fingers tightened in his hair and he thrust his hips forward. Michael moaned and did it again. Curses tumbled from his lips as he fucked into his mouth. Alex groaned around him, causing his hips to stutter in their rhythm. Alex’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Look at me.” The order was practically growled at him. His eyes popped open and Michael forced his cock deep, triggering his gag reflex again. He gripped Michael’s thighs, attempting to control his thrusts. Unsuccessfully.

Michael thrust into him hard and fast. His own cock was starting to feel neglected and he rubbed himself against the sheets, looking for friction. Michael laughed and smirked above him, never faltering in his movements

“Is your cock hard already? You’re so fucking good for me. I don’t know how I’ll ever let you go. Maybe I won’t.” Alex moaned again, rocking his own hips. Michael panted above him, watching him the whole time.

Alex glanced down at his slightly elongated canines. They weren’t like before but Alex knew he was craving something. He met his gaze again and Michael growled placing a hand over his eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Alex didn’t know what he saw but he didn’t have time to dwell. Michael’s thrusts were losing their pattern, getting deeper and harder.

Then he was calling out. Moaning loudly and shoving himself to the back of Alex’s throat. Hot spurts coated his mouth as he swallowed as best he could. The throbbing against his tongue had his own hips picking up speed. He was past the point of caring that he was dry humping the bed like a teenager.

Michael pulled away and was hauling Alex up to his knees, crushing his mouth to his. His tongue darted out to taste himself. Michael wrapped his arms around his waist, keeping most of his weight off his legs. Alex groaned at the pressure of his cock being trapped between them, pressing against Michael’s abs.

“You’re so sexy... So responsive… Drives me crazy,” he punctuated each phrase with a kiss. Alex took his face in his hands, running his fingers over the stubble. He pressed his forehead against Michael’s, just breathing him in. He smelled like rain. He ran his thumb over his lips, and when Michael’s mouth opened, slipped one inside.

He brushed it over his tongue and back out. He did it again, this time pausing to catch his thumb over one fang. Michael took in a shaky breath, as though this was the most intimate thing they had done since meeting.

Alex could no longer imagine his life without Michael in it. He refused to have this be the only time they saw each other. Despite all his training to kill people like him. He was beginning to think it was all a lie. What had these people really done? Just because they drank blood from willing doners? Sure some of them killed people and they should be held to the laws of the government, just like anyone else. But to generalize a whole group? That sounded too familiar.

The pad of his thumb caught on the point of his tooth, drawing blood. He hissed, more out of surprise than pain. But Michael didn’t see it that way. He took Alex’s hand and pulled it away from his mouth, holding it to his chest.

“Sorry. You shouldn’t mess with those. I don’t want to hurt you unnecessarily.” Alex smiled and shook his head. He tugged his hand out of Michael’s and pressed his thumb to his lip, just as he did earlier with his palm.

He kissed him softly. Michael whimpered as he licked at his lip. Alex found himself being lifted then placed on his back on the bed. Michael had settled between his thighs and he could feel him poking his hole. Michael bent his legs back to have easier access.

“I need to be inside you before I do something stupid,” he said with barely contained restraint.

“Stupid like what,” Alex couldn’t help but ask.

Michael leaned over him, kissing and nuzzling his marked neck. Alex turned his head as though it was instinct now. He couldn’t stop it even if he tried. Michael moaned quietly.

“You’re making it really hard not to claim you.” Alex wrapped his arms around his neck. Some part of his brain thought through his next words but it certainly wasn’t the rational part.

“Then do it.”

Michael jerked back from him, an almost terrified look on his face. But even that couldn’t hide the joy dancing in his eyes. He shook his head.

“Alex. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Alex blinked and sat up, running his hands over Michael’s torso and shoulders.

“Maybe. But it feels right, doesn’t it?” He leaned forward, pressing kisses to his chest. Michael groaned softly then pushed him back down to the bed, bending his knees back

“It’s the venom talking. If you still feel that way after I fuck you, then I’ll consider listening.” Michael pressed himself against his ass again. He grabbed the lube bottle again and coated his dick.

He used the excess on his fingers to slip them back into his hole. One finger, then two, then three, making sure he was still ready. Alex moaned but knew not to get too used to it. Michael pulled his fingers out and guided his cock to replace them.

He pressed forward slowly. Alex’s back arched as he stretched around him, marveling at the fact that just the head could make him feel so good. He heard Michael curse from above him as he tried to go slowly. Alex’s fingers twisted into the sheets.

Michael thrust forward firmly but not rough. Alex groaned and tried to move his hips toward him but Michael held him in place. He pushed again and the head of his cock rubbed against his prostate, making him whimper and moan.

“I’m fine, Michael. Fuck me,” he pleaded. Michael trembled as his hips thrust forward roughly. Alex yelped in surprise. He felt so full and his cock leaked with precum.

“Do you have any idea how good you look right now? Spread open on my cock, leaking, begging me to fuck you.” Alex moaned when he thrust forward as he spoke. Everything faded to the back of his mind except for Michael and the way his body moved against him.

His thrusts picked up speed and he grunted with the force he used. Alex could hardly think about anything other than the way he pounded into him. He tried to watch Michael above him but every thrust was sending shockwaves of need through his body. His eyes fell closed as he got lost in the feeling.

Little moans slipped out every time Michael sank into him again. The headboard of the bed bumped against the wall. Alex felt a hand wrap around his throat, fingers carefully avoiding the bite. He opened his eyes to Michael staring at him a small smirk on his face. He lifted his hand to cover Michael’s, squeezing his fingers around his neck.

“You are so fucking perfect, Alex. How has no one snatched you up yet,” he said, leaning forward as he squeezed the sides of his neck. Not giving him time to respond, Michael kissed him with an open mouth. The dirty sound of them separating made Alex whine. “You are mine now. Do you understand?”

Alex normally hated this kind of entitlement. He always insisted that he didn’t belong to anyone. But something about it coming from Michael’s mouth made him want it more. These were obvious red flags but he couldn’t help himself. He moaned against Michael’s mouth.

“Yours,” he gasped out.

After a few more hard thrusts, Michael pulled out, though Alex didn’t have time to complain. He flipped him over and pulled him up on his hands and knees. He pressed down on his shoulders, forcing him down on his forearms.

He spread his ass and slid into him again, not bothering to go slow. Alex buried his face in the mattress in an effort to muffle his moans. Michael grabbed his hair and pulled him back up.

“Don’t you dare. I want to hear you. I want the whole place to hear you.” Alex shivered and his own cock jumped. Michael fucked him ruthlessly though he was almost sure he was still holding back. The desire that coiled inside him was ready to snap.

“Michael,” he moaned out, only managing his name. Then he was being pulled up so his back was against his chest. Michael wrapped one had around his cock and stroked. The other was in front of his lips, bleeding from a small bite on the heel of his hand. The same place Alex had cut his own.

Alex pressed his lips to the wound, licking at the blood. He should have been disgusted but again he wasn’t. Michael pressed his lips against the spot he had bit earlier, grunting out his words.

“Tell me you want this. That you want me to claim you.” His voice was pleading. The rational part of his brain told him to say no. But every other part of him screamed yes.

“Please. Claim me,” he whimpered out.

Michael’s teeth were sinking into him before he even finished talking. It wasn’t as intense as before but there was a dull pain. Then the warmth was spreading again. So much hotter than before and taking over every part of him. Michael fucked him hard and he could feel every groove and twitch of the cock inside him.

Alex’s third orgasm rocked through him, making him call out Michael’s name repeatedly. He came all over the sheets but his body wouldn’t stop burning. Michael detached himself from his neck and pushed him forward again. He seemed to let himself go, slamming into him at an abusive rate. Alex’s cock tried to come again but there was nothing left as it twitched helplessly. All he could do was moan and take whatever he gave.

With one last deep thrust, Michael cursed and came inside him. He ground his hips against him, using Alex to milk his cock. He rocked his hips gently a few extra times before pulling out. Alex’s legs shook and he felt Michael trialing kisses over his spine.

He let himself down slowly, laying on his side and panting hard. The burn had turned into a dull smolder and was quickly fading. Michael curled around him, leaving kisses wherever he could reach.

“Are you ok,” he asked after a moment. His mind was starting to clear. What had just happened? He lifted is fingers to run over the bite mark on his neck. At first, a panic started to build, but it was overtaken by comfort.

“Yea. I’m just… processing.” They were silent for a couple minutes.

“You regret it,” he said, a sad certainty haunting his voice. Alex felt him start to pull away. He turned toward him immediately grabbing his hand and holding it to his cheek.

“No. I don’t regret it. The whole thing was just—”

“Intense,” Michael finished for him. Alex nodded. He glanced down at his mouth. Before he could think better of it, he kissed him. Their first non-desperate, lust filled kiss. Michael held him gently and Alex ran his fingers through the curls. They broke apart after a moment.

“I suppose now would be a bad time to make you promise not to kill me, hunter,” Michael joked. Alex snorted and ran his hands over his arms, feeling the muscle.

“I promise.” He paused. “What did you do to me exactly?” Michael sighed and propped himself up on his elbow. He ran his fingers over the mark on his neck.

“They don’t teach you that in training? Man, the academy is sure going downhill.” Alex rolled his eyes. He wanted a real answer.

“Michael,” he scolded gently. He sighed again, running his hand through Alex’s hair.

“Basically, my blood will heal you if taken alone. But I also injected you with my venom. Well over the amount needed to cause a blackout, mind you. But with my blood in your system, it forms a bond instead.” Alex nodded, covering Michael’s hand with his own. He smiled and leaned in close, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“No other vampire will dare to touch you unless they want to deal with me. I can keep you safe.” Alex chuckled as the vampire planted kisses all over his face and down his neck, eventually landing on the mark.

“I hardly know you,” Alex pointed out.

“But this feels right. And I can’t wait to get to know all of you,” Michael responded, lifting his head and gazing down at him with the softest expression Alex had ever seen. He pulled him in again, kissing him lovingly.

Alex was essentially married to this man. A man he was supposed to hate but didn’t. He knew nothing about him except that this wasn’t a mistake. That maybe he was finally making the right choices.

Alex ended up falling asleep. He didn’t know how long. Just that when he woke up, he was covered in clean blankets and Michael was right next to him.

[purplesurveys]

1279

Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends?  I don’t keep contact.

Has anyone ever pointed out that your laugh was unusual?  Hmmmm, I don’t think so. I feel like that would be the type of comment that would get to me so I definitely would’ve remembered it.

Would you get a lip piercing?  I don’t plan on getting any piercings.

Nose piercing?  Nopes.

What are you currently waiting for?  For this fucking day to end so I can be closer to Thursday and to the weekend.

Do you have feelings for anyone?  Nah.

Have you ever run over an animal?  Nope. I’ve had extremely close calls with animals who suddenly dart into the road, but fortunately these have all been situations wherein I got to hit the brakes with nobody behind me.

Have you chewed gum after someone else already has?  That’s disgusting, no.

When people sneeze do you say ‘bless you’?  Sure, out of habit and just to be polite.

When was the last time you were on a bouncy castle?  I don’t think I’ve ever been on a bouncy castle, but I’ve been on a lot of bouncy other things haha, like inflatable slides, soccer balls, Anpanmans, etc. The last time would probably be a nearly a decade ago; I definitely haven’t been near one in a while.

Have you ever went on a bouncy castle whilst drunk?  Well no, because the ones I’ve been on were situated in school fairs, which is the last place I would want to be drunk in.

Have you ever entered an art competition?  No, I have no justification to join one haha.

What is one thing you will never do? Try hardcore drugs. < Same. 

What is one food that you detest?  Pineapples.

Did you have a rebellious phase growing up?  Yeah I was a bit of a handful to raise, but I’m in firm in my stance that it had a lot to do with the way I was raised. I grew up mostly without a father figure because my dad worked abroad and I felt neglected by my mom who had her own shit to deal with. There was no stable support system to lean on, so I ended up lashing out a lot in my puberty years. Unfortunately everyone else just saw a rebellious child and not a plea for help.

These days when I show off my achievements on social media, I’ll see congratulatory comments from my mom’s friends and she’ll usually go on about some “late bloomers grow with time” narrative and it pisses me off because nobody knows how much I’ve had to grow and mature and learn how to be happier all by myself, all from scratch. If I had just received the proper care and attention early on, I wouldn’t have had to do any catching up to begin with.

What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic.

Are you still that religion?  Jesus no. I darted out of there as soon as I gained the consciousness to think about these sorts of things.

Do you often find yourself questioning your future?  Sometimes, but I do my best to not let it get to me.

How many friends do you have on Facebook?  Over 670.

What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?  I started with punk rock in the first half of high school, so I had my Rancids, H2Os, Against Me!s, Cro-Mags, etc on my iPod. It evolved a little bit towards more indie, folksy sounds towards the latter half - Banks, alt-J, Hozier, Twenty One Pilots - which I largely attribute to the crowd I was part of at the time.

What pet names do you use with your significant other?  I’m pretty straightforward so baby works out for me. Other, more specific pet names just grow naturally with the relationship, I think.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries?  S&R.

Have you ever seen a theatre show?  Yeah. Most of them have been required.

What’s your favourite vegetable?  Broccoli or bell peppers.

Have you ever missed a flight?  Never. I’ve experienced several delayed flights, though, which is always such a hassle especially if the delays happen in provincial airports since they never have any recreational offers to keep passengers from getting bored other than TVs that run the same damn five ads.

Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them?  Yeah, a lot of have dogs. I’ve met some.

What color is your bedroom door?  Brown.

If you were ever to become famous, would you grow annoyed at fans?  Only towards obsessive ones who wouldn’t give me time to breathe or would go so far so as to stalk me or my loved ones. But I am a fan too, so I imagine I would actually be understanding of those who would ask for pictures or whatever as long as they were polite and not at all intrusive.

Have you ever met your favourite band/singer?  Nah. I am terrified of meeting celebrities HAHA so I’ve always shut down the chance. I’m pretty sure I would actually turn down the chance to meet BTS if I hypothetically suddenly got the magic keys to that door.

Are you embarrassed by any of the songs/singers/bands you like?  No. I feel like that sort of thing just happens in like high school, when your friends are still a bit judgmental. Nowadays I don’t see why I should be embarrassed of anything I like, especially if it’s not hurting anyone.

Have you ever written a story?  I’ve made attempts but was always terrible.

Think of the last poem you wrote: What inspired you to write it?  My homework that required me to write said poem hahaha.

Do you have a chance with the person you like right now? 

What’s the weirdest thing you were scared of as a child?  Watching commercials at night. It’s still a slight fear of mine but it’s mostly dissipated now.

Are there any embarrassing stories your family tells about you?  About me? No. I don’t have a lot of those since I was a really shy kid who barely moved a finger anyway.

In your opinion, what is the funniest TV show?  I have a *really* soft spot for Perfect Strangers, which I actually revisited yesterday :) The show was never super popular so it’s near impossible to find clips online, but when I checked YouTube I did see a slight increase in short snippets from the show so I had a really fun time binge-watching yesterday.

What is the maximum number of children you’d ever have?  Three, but that’s pushing it. Ideally, I’d have two so my first would have company.

Have you ever been concerned you had a serious illness?  Mental ones, yes.

Are you comfortable with who you are?  For the most part, yes.

Would you date someone even if you knew you’d get made fun of for it?  No. Why would it be any of their business?

Does popularity matter to you at all?  I mean, yeah in the sense that I honestly aspire to be well-liked by as many people as possible. But I don’t necessarily want to rub shoulders with popular kids.

Would you ever consider homeschooling your children?  Continued from sometime this week ider. No. I don’t think I’m capable of teaching, and generally I’d want them to be able to learn in a more open environment where they can have regular contact with different kinds of people.

Who told you about the band/singer you are currently listening to?  Well Angela got into them first and since we’re best friends, there was a certain point where she just decided to loop me into conversations that involved them. I was impossible to sway for a long time, but then one day a video compilation of them showed up on my feed, and for some reason I actually watched it, and I watched all the way through, and I was immediately intrigued – particularly by J-Hope haha. I then asked Angela to tell me more about them and the rest was...financially irresponsible history HAHAHAHA

Do you ever read fanfiction?  OMG yes. Funny you should mention that because my favorite author uploaded a brand new fic this morning, which I obviously couldn’t get to all day because I had to go to work. I’ll be reading it in all its 44,000-word glory tonight :D

Would you rather die in a plane crash, ship wreck or fire?  Plane crash. Instant and mostly painless.

What are your top five favourite TV shows?  Breaking Bad, BoJack Horseman, Friends, The Crown even though I was never able to continue it since...andddd that’s all I got.

What is your favorite superhero movie?  Not a fan of superhero movies.

If you died next week, what would be the cause of death?  Stress from overworking. I’ve FINALLY started to consider taking a leave for the first time this year because I’ve just realized just how fucking exhausted, burned out, and overwhelmed I actually already am from having no rest at all in the last 13 months.

Have you ever taken a break from Facebook or other social media? Why?  Yes, I do mass deactivations when I’m severely depressed. These days I can’t really afford to that anymore, though, since my work is closely tied to social media.

Who is the most talented person you know?  Probably Andi.

Are you currently platonic friends with anyone you’ve had sex with?  No.

Where did you and your current interest go on your first date? 

Have you ever experienced two people fighting over you (physically or mentally)? What happened?  Nah. I’ve had two people like me at the same time, but there was never any tension to watch out for since they mostly didn’t know each other.

Have your parents ever thought you were gay? What happened?  I think they know I dated Gabie and that we broke up because they’ve stopped asking about her. Everyone knew we were best friends, so the fact that they’ve avoided her as a topic for a whole year is able to tell me something.

Are your parents more liberal or conservative?  Dad’s on the liberal side, mom dances around on the spectrum a little bit. I know she’s fine with things like tattoos and having LGBTQ+ co-workers, but she’s also conservative especially towards matters like religion.

What year are you going into at the beginning of the next academic year?  No longer in school.

How far away does your closest family member live?  A few footsteps away.

If you’ve seen both, did you prefer the Disney version or the Tim Burton version of Alice in Wonderland?  It’s not my type of movie/genre to begin with.

Would you have sex before marriage? Why or why not?  Yes. I don’t see the big deal; I’ve already done it anyway.

Are you more liberal or conservative?  Liberal.

Who is your favorite Harry Potter character?  Ooh not sure. I haven’t gone back to the books in a while, so I don’t remember if there was anyone I had an attachment to.

What’s the worst that could come out of letting gays marry?  Nothing.

What’s the most sexual thing you’ve done?  Had sex...I guess? And a bunch of stuff that comes with it.

Name something that you are against.  Racial discrimination.

Why are you against it?  Because it is infuriating to see, and it shows me the very same treatment can happen to me or my family as well and that scares me, especially since some people turn particularly violent towards people of color.

Have you ever played the Tomb Raider games?  No.

Do you like it or hate it when your partner is clingy?  I imagine I wouldn’t enjoy it if I’m not as into whoever my next partner would be.

Beatles or Rolling Stones?  I don’t listen to either.

When was the last time you changed your opinion on somebody?  Not so sure about a whole change in opinion because that hasn’t happened in a while, but I grew more grateful for my manager today because I finally mustered the strength to tell her that I’m begin to struggle mentally with work and she not only encouraged (read: begged) me to file a damn leave for once, but she also got sushi delivered to my place.

What was the last thing that made you feel proud and why?  Andi was telling me about their day today and how they handled being misgendered by a prof, who then proceeded to throw a fit when he got corrected, and how they, again, maturely handled said fit. I was proud of them because there are a million ways that incident could’ve turned out, but they dealt with it in an extremely mature and calm manner considering they were the one who was wronged.

Do you feel uncomfortable when people you hardly know confide in you?  If it was about an extremely personal problem I would probably be taken aback at first, but I still would definitely make some time for them and help in however way I can, since they apparently trust me enough to confide.

What was the last thing to fascinate you?  The music video for My Universe! Super cool to watch and I love that they made a short film out of it too.

Is there a certain noise/sound which scares you?  Doors being slammed shut, because that’s what my mom does when she’s furious. She did that when I was a kid and she does it to this day, so I get extremely nervous when I hear the sound, even if it happens by accident.

Do you have a favourite microorganism? Nope.

Out of the people you know, whose birthday is next?  My cousin Bree.

If you have pet fish do you bother to name them?  I did when I had them as a kid.

Do you keep your eggs in the fridge?  Yes?

Have you ever owned chickens?  Nope.

When did you last listen to music?  Like five minutes ago. I tried to have a jazz playlist on but I realized I wasn’t in the mood for music so I changed my background noise to have a random VLive on instead. 

[2ndblogg]

Hey! Just read your hot take on novel!wangxian and I absolutely agree. I'm gonna have to say here that I believe it boils down to the fetishization of homosexual men in a lot of the fandom culture that surrounds mlm shipping, as you said it's a space for a lot of women to experiment with their desires and whatnot, but I think therein lies the breaking points between reading novel!wangxian as a good, healthy relationship vs. reading it as a very flawed and toxic one. As an LGBT person, reading the way the author dealt with their relationship made me extremely uncomfortable, it just really feels like something that is written by someone who is more invested in using her queer characters for satisfying her and her reader's own pleasure than a well-built, strong relationship between two characters. Not to take away from the novel in some other aspects, I believe that novel!wwx is a much better, much more nuanced character than what he is in cql, but when it comes to wangxian, I think the intentions are very different for each of them. To each their own, I guess, but I do find it very troubling that some people in the fandom have a really hard time admitting that novel wangxian is not even remotely healthy.

Absolutely.

And can I just say how glad it makes me to see that not everyone is praising this book for it’s lgbt representation...

But I guess that’s also why I just occasionally feel the need to scream my frustrations into the void or try to make sense of the novel.

And why I try to be understanding and accepting of people’s opinion of the novel and not take it ‘personally’ (in the sense of sitting there thinking “holy shit this is how they view ME, this is what they think of ME” etc).

I was in fandoms back when they were really a place dominated by straight (homophobic) women and realism or lgbt representation wasn’t on anyone’s mind (and the occasional dude butting in to say that’s not how sex works or bottoming is experienced was ignored or told to get out). I experienced this change to fandoms being more of a lgbt space, of people becoming aware that media can shape your views of groups of people, of people becoming aware of their fetishizing of fictional gays vs. their prejudice against real life lgbt people etc.

And tbh MXTX just writes like one of those, she writes wangxian like everyone wrote their gay relationships around 2005 and earlier; clear power imbalance, clear roles and attributes that are divided into ‘manly’ and ‘feminine’, certain physical attributes (like the female self insert character aka the bottom being pretty and slight and weaker and shorter), men/the penetrating partner can’t really be raped so anything the woman/bottom tries isn’t really ‘bad’, the male love interest is forceful and self centered but ONLY because he’s so in love and since he’s emotionally stunted he has to express that through sex, men/tops NEED sex and it’s rude/mean to deny them that, the girl/bottom isn’t THAT horny or in charge of their own sexuality but wants to please their partner and what they really get out of it is the emotional aspect, decisions need to be made for them because the dude/top just knows better, the girl/bottom is childish and flirty and the guy/top suffers through it until he finally snaps and shows the girl/bottom who'sboss etc etc. (honestly homophobia and misogyny is so tightly knit in this kind of fiction, if it wasn’t so frustrating it would be very interesting).

Tbh I disagree with novel!wwx being more nuanced (despite a lot of ppl whose opinions I really respect also feeling this way), because I simply cannot seperate him from the wangxian relationship. All I see are tropes and stereotypes applied to make him ‘work’ in the context of the wangxian relationship instead of an actual personality...

To me, in CQL WWX is clearly the main character and you love his interactions with LWJ and want more of them and value them, wheras in the novel most of the time WWX plays second fiddle even when a scene should technically be about him and LWJ’s presence is incredibly suffocating, because he’s always being controlling or at the very least influencing WWX.

I also don’t feel like WWX has much of a character arc/growth. We’re essentially told he had one but the only thing that really actually changes is him hating himself a bit more and letting LWJ smash..., and I guess: he’s less independent than ever, he’s more isolated that ever...

I’ve called novel!wangxian a relationship between an abuser and his victim, because you can find evidence of that in the text. Not because I think the author wanted to portray an unhealthy gay relationship. Like you said, she was fetishizing and wrote for a similar crowd. But to me that ‘realization’ helped...I still don’t see how people can call it a masterpiece but I can at least understand hyping something you like up...

And like, badly written gay relationship or not; gay/straight,man/women, I see how people can find it hot. Exploring your sexuality through fictional characters isn’t necessarily a strictly straight girl phenomena. I probably have read fic that was exactly like this, I can’t judge anyone for it. But no one prints out the last PWP they read and goes, “this is ideal lgbt representation and nothing will ever be this good, the fact that it includes rape makes it so realistic” like????

(Is that part or an effect of the woke and purety culture? you can’t say ‘i like this book but it has flaws’ or ‘i’ve enjoyed this but it’s not up the feminism or lgbt acceptance that i preach/live’ so you have to pretend it’s flawless?)

And like, I do think novel!wangxian is a nightmare when it comes to lgbt representation and I do believe this is largely due to a cishet woman writing about gay men and fetishizing them (the fact that a lot of peoples arguments why novel!wangxian ‘is better’ boils down to ‘there’s kissing and sex’ is also pretty telling). And I am frightend and worried by some peoples response to it.

But is it really fair to see it as just that? It’s a problem sure, but that same thing happens in straight media (which I am admittedly not well versed in). Stephanie Meyer didn’t set out to write Edward Cullen to be a creep and non of the teenage girls that went crazy over him viewed it as such...Reylo fans (aside from some of them proclaiming Finn to be the real villain and saying it’s racist and misogynistic to not find Kylo Ren hot) found a way to view him threatening her as romantic and sexy, Loki fans that didn’t ship him with Thor usually fell into the camp of “he would be a perfect boyfriend” or “what if this OFC was his slave and he raped her everyday <3″... like ignoring/glorifying/romanticizing behaviours or exploring what kinks you might have through the safety of fictional characters and fictional settings isn’t JUST happening when it comes to ‘the gays’...

And not just specifically in fandom spaces either, a lot of ‘romantic’ movies include inappropriate touching, the boy/guy knowing better than the girl what she wants etc. And I absolutely do believe that that’s something that normalized these things for a lot of young girls and guys (I don’t want to get into this too much, I’ve really seen a change in the past few years, but before that it was pretty common for young boys to believe they need to keep pursuing and pressuring a girl that has said no, girls truly thought boys could die of blue balls, girls thought it was their duty as good girlfriends to let their boyfriends fuck them even when they weren’t in the mood, that they couldn’t talk about what they want in bed or what they don’t find enjoyable because ‘sex is for boys and girls get a relationship in exchange’ etc.).

And in much the same way movies have only relatively recently begun being called out for that, it’s also still pretty recently that they’re being called out for having their one queer coded character be a pedophile and a murder or whatever...Like, society as a whole becoming aware of these issues.

But do authors that publish their work with a specific target audience in mind have a responsibility to think about the effect it might have on them? (And I can already hear loud screams of ‘no way, it’s not your fault if your audience isn’t smart enough to understand that this bad thing is bad’, but I actually do believe in a way they do. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t write whatever you want, just maybe take a look at HOW you bring your point across. (We do KNOW people are influenced by what propaganda they’re consistantly fed. I mean, you wouldn’t write a pro-drugs childrens book...) )

What if the author isn’t aware of their bias and prejudices? Or their target audience isn’t their actual audience?

And do we, society and media, judge female and male authors differently when it comes to romance and sex in fiction? (The answer is yes btw) But also, where do we draw the line at calling something ‘badly written’ and calling it toxic? Can it be both? As I’ve said before, a lot of people claim that only the physical intimacy scenes of novel!wangxian are bad, because they’re badly written and OOC, some say the book as amazingly written and only the wangxian relationship is bad because the author doesn’t know how to write gay men. In my ‘hot take’ I essentially said that’s not necessarily bad writing so much as it’s simply an (okay, unintentional) toxic relationship. And would this relationship still come across as toxic (or badly written, whichever you want) if we didn’t know the author to be a cishet woman? Or if a gay man had written it? (my personal, eloquent answer for this is: yes, but differently.)

Which was really all just a rambly way to get to my point of: it’s not just fetishizing of gay men, it’s also the homophobia and self-inserting in a safe situation.

You can literally replace WWX in the novel with a female character and it wouldn’t change a thing. The author takes such an effort into building up this power imbalance in every aspect of their life that if WWX were a heroine nothing would change in this (sexist/ancient society) setting.

(And clearly this is something that appeals to people if you look at the amount of female!WWX fics...)

Not even the sex scenes. There are maybe two allusions in all of them combined that WWX might also have a dick but like, you can’t be sure and it sure as hell doesn’t need stimulation.

(and again, that could be written as a kink...but it’s just not.)

CQL is a gay love story. MDZS at it’s core is none of that.

But I also very much agree with your ‘to each their own’, like here I am criticizing and trying to find explanations and whatever, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter why someone might like (or write) a book like this, I vastly prefer CQL!wangxian but people have their own reasons for not doing so.

The ‘problem’ really only lies in, as you said, people not being able to accept that it’s not a healthy relationship. Or claiming it to be perfect lgbt rep.

And because my brain can’t shut up today:

I also can’t stop thinking that the way some people ‘glorify’ the book as due to their age and ‘inexperience’.

When I was a pretty young kid and got into fanfiction, there was nothing but completely OOC!whump to be found in the first two fandoms I was in. And I loved it. It was YEARS later that I thought I might like to read something with the characters being...in character. What I’m trying to say, in different stages and phases of your life you might enjoy different things, for different reasons...and obviously, in that moment, you won’t think about ‘what appeals to me here/should this appeal to me/etc’.

I don’t mean inexperience as ‘sexual inexperience’ here, though of course that could be part of it, but also like, inexperience with this genre (is this the first book like this you read, or did you just read 50 in a row that all had the same unhealthy vibes?), with lgbt people and issues (do you know any lgbt people or is your only image of them either the cute boy you can’t have and don’t want to see with another girl or grown men in full kink gear in front of children during CSD? and also: do you think ‘i like this’ and that’s the end of it or do you notice how many people idolize this objectively unhealthy relationship and won’t allow critique on it...)  

I...just wanted to say thanks really.

I just can’t stop rambling apparently and I know I mostly just repeated what you said or what I already said but in longer... I just really do feel very strongly about novel!wangxian and the perception of them and have actually at times felt very personally...worried/affected, by people’s acceptance and love of them and I just... have to try and make sense of it...