#growing up aromantic

[oliver-and-mushrooms]

Growing up aromantic

you know, when i was younger i thought movies and books were exaggerating romantic attraction. maybe they were a little bit, but i never felt the buttlerflies, or thought about that someone all the time. i never wanted to kiss people or go on dates. and when i watched movies or shows, i always cringed and looked away when they had that really slow weird scene before the kiss. or i just felt annoyed and told the characters to get on with it and kiss already.

sure, i sometimes felt nervous around people, but it wasnt romantic. i never faked crushes either, i have had three instances where i genuinely thought i had a crush in my entire life, but i either just wanted to be their friend, or it was gender envy. i assumed it was romantic attraction because if movies and books are exaggerating the feelings of it, then this must be what it feels like.

when i finally did date someone, i genuinely thought i liked her at first. but as it went on, i realised that i didnt like holding hands all the time, i didnt like cuddling (altough that might be more related to my anxiety, because i would be worried about shifting and so i would just stay in an uncomfortable position and ignore it) and the biggest thing, was that i felt the exact same way towards them that i did to the rest of my friends. we talked it out, i made sure they knew it was not her fault and it was a healthy relationship and everything, but that i had figured out i was aro. she understood and were still friends, which is great.

i dont know, ive just seen tons of posts about this kind of thing, but never my exact expirence so i thought id share

[the1entirecircus]

#growinguparomantic

Thinking the best way to describe your relationship with your partner at the time was “Friends with Benefits” (you had no idea what it actually met until later in life)

[fireheartwraith]

I don't know if I'm aro but one time in middle school a girl was bugging me so much about my crush (which I didn't have) that I said I had a crush on God (I'm atheist)

[atomicbritt]

Update:

Seeing romantic scenes at 32:

“Bleh.”

Seeing romantic scenes at 7:

“Bleh.”

Seeing romantic scenes at 23:

“Bleh.”

[rose-reveries]

The funniest thing about being aroace is growing up in middle school and thinking to yourself “…you guys are too young to be dating. We’re kids right now.” And then as you get older and reach college you’re still like “…you guys are too young to get married, how do you even know you like them like that?”

Like no that’s just how allo people are.

[redysetdare]

Any other queer person makes a post saying "Ew straight romance" and everyone laughs and reblogs. an aro makes a post saying "Ew romance" and apparently that's suddenly way too far. How dare they be "romance negative" don't they know how personally attacked the allos feel right now? why won't they think of the allo feelings?

[aq2003]

ten is aroace for this one sorry society

[shitpostingkats]

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When I tell you I fucking sobbed my eyes out.

[virginwithasthma]

I was 13 when I figured out I was aroace**. Now I'm 21 going on 22 and I'm still chronically aroace. Kids and their identities don't have to be disregarded just because they're kids.

[tefeckincraicen]

"We used to be so close, what happened?"

I grew up to be an individual and your love could never accept that.

"it makes me sad how distant we are now."

Yeah. I know. But who I am will never be enough for you. Or maybe I'm too much. Maybe if I went back to living silently you could have your comfort back.

But I have finally found glimpses of myself. A self I didn't know I had. I'd like to finally meet him.

I'm sad you won't be there to meet him with me, but I am not sorry.

[witchysolfan]

Bigot: You’re gonna die alone

My AroAce ass: I sure hope I do.

[legend-had-it]

im so miffed about sonadow fic writers that make shadow not want to get into a relationship with sonic because hes mortal then turn around and let him have a close relationship with rouge and omega

[radios-universe]

hi tumblr, me again.

i don't think i like being aroace very much. there was a very short 6 months of my life when i did, and took pride in it, then after that i just accepted i had to co-exist with it. now i think i'm finally resenting it.

i'm not like any of my friends, even my only aroace friend who is someone i care about more than anyone else in the whole world... yet i still feel like i'm on a different planet to them because i'm sex-repulsed and they're not.

i'm constantly gonna be behind everyone in my life, this is a truth i've always known, but its as if it's only catching up to me now.

i'm now the weird one. i'm nineteen, i'm an adult... i'm now the weird one that i don't really drink, i've never kissed anyone, i'm not on dating apps, i never want to have sex... i'm no longer acting my age, i'm just acting like a child.

[seaglassdinosaur]

I know we collectively agree that Hiccup isn’t romantically inclined, and his getting married and having kids didn’t make sense in the epilogue, but consider: Hiccup getting married for political reasons.

It’s a marriage of alliance, which is recognized both by him and his partner, and they enter it without expectations of romantic involvement. Since they’re now married, they live in the same castle, spend time together, and Hiccup finds he really likes his spouse. They’re funny, get along with his friends, and has the same interests and values. They both probably speak multiple languages. She understands why Hiccup is so dedicated to making the Wilderwest better, and holds similar views. She’s a good politician (her job after all, was to be an ambassador). Hiccup likes spending time with them, and the feeling is mutual. They’re not in love, they have their own lives, but they’re dedicated to each other and eventually decide to raise children. They teach their kids how to train hawks and hunt with dragons, riding, history, the Languages, and all the necessary skills of their world. They’re not in love and they’re happy together.

[nightvale359]

I feel like there needs to be more popular Aro rep

[remy45]

As an aspec person, I have always struggled with forming meaningful relationships, because you know, I have always wanted to have an important vincule with someone, but not in a romantic way, and in the full of amatonormativity place where I grew up, it seemed so impossible.

Everytime I started feeling something for someone, started to develop some love, I always stopped, because I knew our friendship was never going to be the first thing for them, because platonic relationships were valued so little.

That let me to a period of my life where I had numerous romantic relationships in an intent to feel loved (all of them with bad results).

I ruined a lot of friendships I had with incredible people because I started romantic relationships, because society made me think that was the solution for my loneliness.

What I want to say now, is that, dont be like me, romantic relationships are not something necessary in life, and friendships and queerplatonic relationships are unique, beautiful and can be more powerful and meaningful that any romance ever with enough work and commitment.

Fuck amatonormativity.