#god is real and i think he called me autistic

[chaoortu]

listen i know i yap a lot about nick and neurodiversity in my fics but it's like. every time i reread heartstopper it really jumps out at me and i'll probably reblog this again with more thoughts as i continue my reread but like.

it strikes me as interesting that despite the fact that nick gets called a chav pretty early on by tao, we never actually see nick acting that way on page. i think the show does a good job at showing how nick has sort of chameleoned himself and stuffed his real personality down but the show is a topic for a different post. in the webcomic we see it once when charlie is teasing him about being laddish and nick decides to act that way for a laugh. on one hand, i chalk this up to most of the early webcomic/heartstopper in general being in Charlie's pov. he wouldn't have noticed these things about Nick because they didn't really notice each other until their meet cute, which is realistic. I think it also speaks well to Charlie's character that he takes who Nick is at face value and challenges Tao's opinion of him. but what jumps out at me is that in harry's birthday party we sort of see the first instance of nick's "meaner" side and it's in the context of defending Charlie. Still! The first instance of this really sunshiney character taking quite a big turn!

But notice how the dig isn't personal? These are all observations about Harry that can be deduced in the context of the material before it. That is to say, despite being friends with Harry since he was like 11, Nick keeps it simple. It reminds me a lot of how you correct a dog's behavior in the moment and I can go on for ages about Nick and dogs but again-- that'll be another post. What follows this really intense moment is another really intense moment when he and Charlie are alone and like yeah, they're teenagers, being teenaged is intense enough. But after their kiss, we have this panel and my God is it one of my favs:

I really love how Nick is framed with flowers in this scene because it really feels like it's him blossoming into himself in this moment where it's just him and Charlie. Charlie is shown over and over again to be Nick's safe person in comic and while they are obviously falling in love way before this, I still feel like this is the moment where Nick decides it's safe to love Charlie (I mean duh, they kiss a LOT in this episode), or rather, to hand Charlie his emotions and feel like they won't be fucked with or used against him. And that's huge! Nick wears all his feelings on his sleeves, he's not even slick about it either-- the fact that Christian, Sai, and Otis pick up on the fact that Nick has a thing for Charlie before he does speaks a lot to the fact that Nick doesn't seem very aware of how much of himself he gives away on the regular. Which again, in juxtaposition with the fact that he's perceived as a judgmental rugby lad by Tao (which, grain of salt here. I love Tao a lot but he's also quite judgmental in his own ways so this is a pot and kettle situation), and the fact that his own mother comments on the fact that he's much more himself since befriending Charlie? That's MASSIVE. I dunno. I could be projecting here but as an autistic teenager who did everything in my power to be like my peers and lowkey hated myself for it, I find this incredibly relatable. We see Nick starting to realize that a lot of his friends are dicks several times before he and Charlie kiss for the first time, and that's also relatable. It took me so long and still takes me so long to realize that people I thought were friends are actually quite shit. Again, I could be projecting but it reads very neurodivergent to me that it takes Nick being exposed to someone who is actually kind to him (Charlie) to realize that his friends aren't kind people. Insane tbh! Something else that got me is that we see Nick struggle with the fact that he really likes Charlie and wants to stay with him vs. the responsibility he feels to regroup with his friends. I don't actually think it's responsibility. I read it as Nick putting his mask back on and resuming the expectations he's been bearing since before he met Charlie and it's a visible struggle for him.

Nick, while pretty unaware of the fact that he can be read like a book, is also incredibly aware of the role he plays in his own friend group and the ways in which he has to perform. But he doesn't like it now. His early love for Charlie really puts things in perspective for him that he doesn't have to accept where he's at currently if he's unhappy and we get that moment of regret where we see that he knows he fucked up by leaving Charlie.

It looks like he's disassociating here. That, or his mind is still in that room with Charlie. It's a battle of expectations vs. what Nick wants. And Nick's wants are never Nick's first priority. He's a pathological people pleaser after all. And despite the fact that he just fully made out with another boy despite barely having figured out that he likes guys and the ethics on Charlie kissing him without asking (teenage stuff, I'm not arguing about it rn especially because this doesn't bother Nick in canon. idk why this discourse exists but maybe i was just making out too much as a teenager) The next day, Nick clears the air. Literally runs to Charlie's in the rain so they can talk it out and so he can be understood properly. He's desperate to make things right with him because 1) he's in love and 2) he cares a lot about Charlie's feelings to the point of putting them above his own later in the story. But the way he does it and the way he sort of overexplains his feelings almost constantly really strike me as neurodivergent. Nick goes above and beyond explaining how he feels to make sure nothing can be misconstrued and that really gives me the sense that Nick is... somewhat aware of the fact that people assume how he feels? Granted, this is coming off the heels of everyone saying he was in love with Tara, so maybe he felt the need to explain himself more since some people think one pre-teen kiss = fairytale love. (ignore the fact that Nick's fairytale kiss with the flowers totally equaled fairytale levels of love for him, lol.)

He literally explodes! Charlie is physically taken aback by his words. This happens right after Charlie has his big "I shouldn't have kissed you this was all my fault" etc. explosion. Which! The fact that Charlie explains how he feels down to feeling at fault and sharing that with Nick, who is very much like no.. no nO WAIT. I LIKED IT. (so much that he kisses Charlie to get him to understand that pre-explosion). And again, we sort of see Nick trying to bottle and be a bit more normal about it immediately before when Charlie tells him he's getting mixed-signals. Nick's response was to unmix the signal and then cry about it because THIS. IS. A . LOT.

For a cis-male character who is involved in a very masculine sport, surrounded by masculine people who are not nearly as emotional as he is(on page at least) the fact that Nick goes above and beyond in this moment where he's so vulnerable to ensure Charlie understands him is hugely neurodivergent to me. He's making sure Charlie gets that Nick loves him, he's making sure he gets that he's not mad about the kiss, and he makes sure Charlie knows he feels bad for leaving him behind. His bases are covered! There's no room to make assumptions about how he feels and I imagine for Charlie, a chronic overthinker, the fact that Nick is so blunt about his feelings all the time must be fucking incredible. He can actually take Nick at face value (at least at this point in the story ). But especially after Ben's gaslighting shit? Like fuck! I'd want to jump into a relationship too if the guy I've been crushing on for like two months ran to me house in the rain, kissed me, cleared the air, and then cried in my arms. I love emotional honesty! It's also interesting to me that it seems like his confusion towards his sexuality bothers him a LOT more than his feelings for Charlie do. He likes being in love with Charlie, that much obvious, but it's this conflict within himself that bugs him. And idk, I could be projecting again but I just can't see a neurotypical teenager reacting like that. To me, it really reads as Nick going. "Okay, I like kissing Charlie and being around Charlie. I'm in love, this is good. Check." but then his sexuality is a huge gray area until he does more research on bisexuality and decides that's the label he wants to use and I think the not knowing is what really bothers him. There's a lot of pressure in queer spaces especially nowadays to be labeled and for Nick, a character who buried his personality to be accepted by others, to specifically be upset at being confused about his identity reads as neurodivergent to me. Nick, by all accounts, doesn't seem to really care about his sexuality except for the way it challenges who he believed himself to be up until this point and what that means to the people around him who think he's just some straight laddish dude, you know? Largely, he also seems rather apathetic towards sexuality and gender in general except when he has to confront his sexuality and how other people will perceive him if they knew what his sexuality is-- hence keeping things between him and Charlie a secret despite the fact that he's never ever been shown to be ashamed of the fact that he loves Charlie.

Anyway, this post got way too long. Enjoy one of my favorite OCD/AUDHD moments between Nick and Charlie. THEY LITERALLY KISSED LIKE TEN MINUTES BEFORE THIS MOMENT... INSANE BEHAVIOR... I love them. The sillies.

[800db-cloud]

I made a decision early in life that I would become extraordinary.

[eebie]

Grinds my teeth to dust…. i wish touch didnt have so many Implications. im just trying to survive out here

[nato-obenkrieger]

the black suits possibly the most autistic band ever. except for john he just has adhd. but everyone else. im shooting them with my autism beam. nato and chris especially

[badolmen]

Wrote out a big long phone call rant to have with my mother later because as much as I hate it she is my closest irl spiritual confidant 👍 here’s hoping her response to ‘hey I’ve been spiritually depressed and disconnected for like 8 months and for some reason these last two weeks advocating for Palestine has me feeling alive and burning with divine passion and love in a way I’ve never felt before in my life’ isn’t like. ‘Talk to your psyche abt your meds hun’

[carlyraejepsans]

UTY!Flowey, "lore" and how to criticize a fan prequel without being an insufferable pedantic, a guide by Biscia.

(for my muskless fellows, here's a transcript of my thread on Undertale Yellow that I posted on Twitter. enjoy!)

There's this really frustrating attitude in fan spaces i like to call "lorepilling" where people are substantially more concerned with encyclopedic knowledge of details & minutiae (so called "lore") in place of full-text thematic/narrative analysis as if the two are mutually interchangeable.

It's especially common in large franchises and story heavy videogames, and it's like... Are You Treating This Piece Of Art Like A Trivia Battle Or Are You Treating It Like A Story

This is coming from a person who is also deeply autistic about UTDR trivia btw, I'm just saying that when it comes to transformative *stories*, depending on the impact it has on character, themes, and narrative structure... lore is expendable.

Ultimately this is why most of the UTY criticism i see (on twitter specifically) falls flat. What does it matter if "lore" means Flowey couldn't chronologically be there when the justice human fell, as long as the game narratively justified his presence in the story in a compelling way?

The real criticism, in the end, is that it didn't.

He's a plot central, main cast character from the canon returning in a cast of mostly OCs and what does he have to show for it? An admittedly sick boss battle in 1/3 endings, sure but... not much else. He has no significant "presence" in the story, no tie, interaction, or even just... an opinion on the rest of the cast. Which is a huge miss when Flowey's meta role is to be Thee completionist player mirror. He's the OG lorepilled UT fan! He's an opinionated little shit!

This isn't to say that UTY *didn't* engage w/ his metanarrative. When me and @a-town-called-hometown first started playing the game (we were both skeptical of Flowey's inclusion), he immediately said "It would be really cool if they made it so this has been going on for a while and Clover has no idea". Which is precisely what the game did in the neutral ending, and what I will openly say was the most well written & well executed part of this game's story...

...a part we almost didn't see, because the pacifist ending disappointed us so much we lost all will to replay.

To put it in the words of my friend Mel @clowwwnbytes, there's a deafening hollowness to UTY Flowey's motivations & core principles where his guilt towards Chara—and resulting black and white thinking—should be. You're telling me Mr Kill-or-be-killed, "sacrificing yourself to do the right thing is stupid", would stand there after 1000s of failed attempts to make Clover survive, look on as they make the same mistake Asriel he did, and fondly call them friend? Cue the guitar, roll the credits?

He would lose it. Oh my god he would lose his goddamn mind, he would throw the nastiest temper tantrum in the world. Are you serious? How dare you. How DARE you. All this effort, all my patience, and you just let yourself DIE for a few worthless idiots? I should've let you ROT!

*clears throat* sorry got a bit too into character. as i was saying.

I can understand a UT prequel wanting to distance itself from the canon Chara storyline in order to form its own identity, but then turning around and choosing Insane About Chara The Character™ for a sidekick is... far from optimal. In the end, Flowey comes across as underutilized and inconsistent, with a whole lot of wasted potential.

This is an issue I have with UTY's character writing (original AND returning) and story structure as a whole. Lots of inconsistent character arcs, tonal dissonance, overuse of situational sadness... it's an amateurish work, after all, and you can feel it. There's no shame in that.

(Though, there ARE some issues that i take more seriously with its writing, especially when it comes to its two main female characters—Ceroba's lack of narrative agency and depth borders on misogynistic writing imo. But that's a topic for another day)

Over all, UTY was an incredible piece of collaborative transformative work, with gorgeous art and a genuinely incredible OST, which... would have benefited from more experienced writers. But hey, you can only ever learn by trying!

For all it could've been a better story, it certainly did not fail to entertain: both when my friend was playing it, and after in our many discussions of its writing, its faults and how it could've been improved (royal scientist!ceroba character fix you will always be famous. to ME!)

I'm sure this project served as an incredible source of experience for the developers: as individual creators AND as a team. I look forward to their future projects!

but also if i have to see another person say UTY is better than Undertale i might turn into The Jonker.

end of the essay! really couldn't stand any of the pedantic ""criticism"" I'd seen of this fangame so far, so i had to say my piece as someone more versed in analysis. happy to elaborate on anything in the replies or in my inbox!

[loveofdetail]

Let's talk about Gale's sex scenes

I love the astral sex scene and it means so much to me, and I have some problems with the way I've seen it talked about.

I should start by saying this post is not intended to critique anybody's personal preferences. The license to do Whatever The Fuck in an rpg is sacrosanct and there are no wrong choices. But I’ve also seen people imply that the astral scene is not “real” sex, or that Gale romancers “deserved more.” I hope I do not have to explain why that's kinda fucked.

Additionally, I think it is a saddening misread to call the astral scene “performative” in contrast to the bed scene (which gets correspondingly framed as “showing Gale that you want the real him.”) But doing a grandiose magical gesture IS the real him!

I know I'm not alone in viewing Gale as autistic; for me the astral sex scene is a big contributor to that. For one thing, it resonates with the concept of having unusual sensory wants. For another, it reads to me as Gale opening up and showing his passion for magic to the PC in a way he’s never been able to with another mortal before. What neurodivergent person has not had someone view their passion as too weird or too over the top? Have you ever been at a level of enthusiasm that wraps back around into seeming “performative” to others? Ever wanted to show a loved one something that matters to you, but worried they’d never understand—or, worse, they’d actively cringe?

In the astral sex scene, Gale shows the PC how much he loves the Weave (which is not the same as loving Mystra), and the PC does not cringe.

If all the glowing merging translucent bodies, the nebulae, the multiplying limbs, the spinning, the trippiness, the celestial music—if all these trappings made you, the player, cringe: there is nothing wrong with that. But I do think it is a misread to say that the bed version constitutes “helping him heal from his trauma.”

Maybe I have a hair-trigger for anything that implies “becoming more sexually normative = character growth.” Or “vanilla sex = a more intimate connection.” But they are just such tiresome concepts.

I understand that some of the dialogue in the game also suggests that idea, but all that dialogue is coming from the PC. What Gale says is that having bodily sex is “a small gesture toward your comfort.” This has been widely glossed over, imo.

Ultimately the two versions of this scene fulfill two different narrative functions: the bed version is to show the player that Gale will set these wants aside for you should you ask him to. But the astral version is there to show the player who HE is and what HE wants. And I think it is sad to write off this beautiful, lovingly crafted, unique and creative approach to a sex scene as merely something “performative” that he only does because Mystra made him think he had to.

“Stay with me now. There are endless worlds out there. Countless ways to declare love. Infinite ways to express it. Too much for one night... but we shall try.” I've admittedly got a ways to go in the game, but so far this is my single favorite line of dialogue. I genuinely don't understand how people can hear this line, the way it’s acted, and think it's just for show. He knows he's about to get weird but he longingly, vulnerably asks you to stay there in his weirdness with him.

Many writers, when they are writing something kinda out there, have doubts of the form Who is this even for? If the astral scene just isn’t for you I don't have beef with that. But the people who saw the astral sex scene and went "Oh, my god, now THIS is FOR ME"���are perhaps people who only very rarely get to watch a sex scene and have that reaction.

I'm glad Baldur's Gate brought something this beautiful to this particular table and I think it deserves consideration as a serious element of Gale’s characterization.

[emmkitt]

stop calling mephone4 a child.

my credentials(/silly): mephone4’s biggest fan + someone who sees mephone as representative of myself. i am also an autistic adult. (relevant)

i went on an autistic tirade rambling about this in a discord server but i wanted to compile my reasoning and stuff here into a tumblr post because this is very important to me.

alright. lets start with the most commonly used argument.

calling mephone a child is ableist.

now i certainly agree that some children CAN act the way mephone does. however, i think it’s harmful when your ONLY argument as to why he is a child is ‘because he cant spell’ or ‘because he creates fantasy worlds in his brain as a means of escapism.’

I think the issue is, we are reducing these very real symptoms of mental disorders to ‘oh he’s just acting childish,’ instead of understanding them for what they are. autism and dyslexia are not cured the second you turn 18. it doesn’t work that way. giving in to the stereotype that only children can act this way… i dunno man. it really rubs me the wrong way.

i think it’d be better to view him as an adult with these symptoms because, well, VERY rarely do we ever get representation of an adult with mental disorders in media. at least not in a way that’s not villainizing them or mocking/infantilizing them. (sidebar, mephone IS NOT THE VILLAIN. he did bad things, yes, and should be held accountable for it, but he is NOT. THE VILLAIN. he is an abuse victim, and his way of acting is actually very good representation of the way abuse victims may go on to mimic actions of their abuser.) cobs (mephone’s abuser btw) LITERALLY infantilizes mephone IN CANON. IN THE SHOW. WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO COBS. WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE COBS.

bro didnt go to school

i didnt know how to title this section. basically, people reducing him to a child because he doesn’t know adult things are MISSING THE POINT.

HE WAS RAISED BY COBS.

do you think cobs had ANY interest in teaching him ANYTHING about the real world? about how to be an adult? about how to ride a bike or pay taxes? NO. dude popped into existence knowing nothing except what Cobs WANTED him to know. he was meant to just work for Cobs and do tasks all the time and that was IT. OF COURSE his knowledge is going to be limited to what Cobs taught him. that DOES NOT make someone a child. GO REWATCH THE SHOWWWW.

suspend your disbelief for once in your life oh my god

i dont understand how people are able to suspend disbelief for LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE in fiction. such as murder/death, supernatural creatures, the universe itself as a whole, etc. but when it comes to age, the real world standards MUST be applied, no exception. Like since Mephone was canonically created 14 years ago in-universe that means he is 14 years old. we are completely ignoring the fact he is a fictional talking sentient phone robot for a minute.

and adding in the ‘he acts like a child’ argument for a second… season 1. what 1 year old do you know that can walk and talk and create an entire game show?? he has practically acted the EXACT SAME WAY his entire existence, therefore that argument falls completely flat.

it would be DIFFERENT if in-universe they had established rules, where this age means this and that age means that, but the ii universe DOES NOT HAVE THAT. meaning people are free to interpret age however they want. it would ALSO be different if mephone was canonically stated to be a child (we’re getting to that) OR portrayed to be childcoded. which…. he isn’t.

okay so by these rules all of the contestants are younger than mephone.

the agreement amongst child mephone believers seems to be ‘creation date = birth date = real age’. so bot is like 3 years old. the unvitationals are like 2. all the contestants are somewhere between like 4-14. but wait- some season 1 contestants ACT older or younger than the others? no. no theyre ALL 13-14 only. no exceptions. every newbie in season 3 is like 4-5. every newbie in season 2 is like 10. makes perfect sense.

do you understand how ridiculous that is. WE CANNOT , i repeat, CANNOT APPLY REAL WORLD STANDARDS TO A FICTIONAL UNIVERSE. oh my god. they are holograms. they are robots. they are in a weird plane floating in the vastness of space that has a picnic table that can generate food, and the ability to revive dead people, and ghosts and talking corn and. and all of THAT is fine. but god forbid someone interpret the talking phone as an adult. I DONT GET IT.

b-b-but cobs called mephone a child…

once again, common arguement. i strike thee down with a ‘MANIPULATION TACTIC.’ i feel like this has been covered enough and better in other mephone rambles so im not gonna get into it.

personal section

this is more of a personal experiences and opinions thing. less based on fact. agree or disagree idc this is just my experience.

once again, like i stated in the beginning, i see myself in mephone. a lot. I am an adult. i have autism. i have the tendency to act ‘childish’ sometimes due to my condition. im bad at being an adult. i struggle with tasks that are probably easy for other adults. i’m not a child. it’s very disheartening- i WANT to be viewed as an independent functioning adult, despite my condition, but when even a FICTIONAL PHONE who acts just like i do gets reduced to ‘child’ because he acts similarly to someone who’s mentally ill and has been abused. it HURTS MAN. he’s just trying his best:[

anyways conclusion

idc. you can headcanon whatever you want cause technically nothing is confirmed, but this is more food for thought for the people immediately jumping on the ‘child mephone’ bandwagon.

unless someone is canonically stated to be a child or is very heavily child coded, i don’t think its wrong for people to interpret them as an adult.

if sometime in the future mephone is canonically confirmed to be a child like. in universe. ill probably be disappointed.

i am a firm believer in age doesnt work the same way in ii as it does in our universe. theyre all fictional creatures. they were not created by conventional means. you dont have to apply our world’s standards to it.

anyways uhh. ramble over lol

[shyentsmissingink]

.PLACIDITY by rena|shyent

-Scaramouche x fem!reader

-Reader's autistic if you squint (you can certainly read regardless whether or not you are <3)

-reader is like, a head taller than him

-male masturbation

.When he’d open his eyes, you would cease the brushing of the back of your fingers against the porcelain smoothness of his cheeks, responding to the placidity of Scaramouche’s stare with an aversion of your eyes to the transparency of your window’s glass. The coolness of the evening’s waning heat makes warm—the tone—the baby hairs on your cheeks and the curls sprouting from your scalp. 

Your head would be propped up against an old cushion, the back of his resting comfortably against the midsection of your chest and legs wrapped loosely around his waist. Scaramouche had half the urge to reach his hand out and touch you; to graze the corner of your eye, to your cheekbone, to palm your cheek and to brush your lips with the flat tip of his thumb; to reciprocate your ministrations. Instead, however…

“What?”

“Uh…what?”

“You want to say something; spit it out.”

You hum, “Nothing.”

He’d return to staring at the ceiling with a sigh, closing his eyes once more. You would resume the stroking of his cheeks, and the contours and curves of his face, hands on either side, holding him like a prized possession. Each time Scaramouche would have awakened from his half sleep, he’d glance up to meet you, the permutation in heat, the weather and the colours of the sky would be emulated in the warmth and the coolness of your ever-changing hue.

“Hey, Sweetheart?”

It would never cease to make his heart stutter a beat when you referred to him as such. Sweetheart. He remembered the first time you'd called him that, the hesitation in your tone, fidgeting, and the indecisiveness expressed in the flapping of your hands.

When you'd finally managed to stutter it out, he couldn't help but tease you. Nonchalant, had Scaramouche been, or at least...he would like to think that you hadn't noticed the reddening at the edge of his ears as he'd turn away from you.

Nevertheless, he hums in response, voice cracking from misuse.

“Do you wanna masturbate?”, you asked.

“What-”

Yeah, so, anyway he choked on his spit, flying into a sitting position—a coughing fit—tears pricking at his eyes, cheeks dusted pink and glaring at you like you’d called his mother hot (again). 

“What the fuck-”,  he strangled out. “Kind of question is—did I hear that-?”

“Wanna masturbate?”  You’d propose again, tilting your head. Okay, he did hear that right.

“...Why?”

“Because I wanna see you masturbate-”

“Okay, yeah, no I get that, but why?”

“The real question is why not?”

“No, dumbass, it’s not. Who suddenly asks ‘wanna masturbate?’”

“...Girls who wanna see their boyfriends masturbate?”

“...”

“Is that a no?”

“How did I end up with someone like you...”

“Is this you calling me spec-ed again?” you whine.

“No—Archons…”, one day, he'll understand how you ever jump to the conclusions that you do. That, he swears.

“So?”

Your boyfriend did not know how to respond to that and took to lying back down against your body on his side instead. Or well, atleast, he hadn't come to a conclusion yet…

Am I actually considering this? 

He clasps your breast and massages it in circles with a roll of his eyes. He flicks at a hardening, impervious nipple followed by a series of squishing. It made for the perfect stress ball, really. A really cute stress ball.

He loved how perfectly the ball of tissue fit so perfectly in his palm, the gap between your breasts that would perfectly accommodate his head, how you'd caress his hair and shoulders whenever he cupped a feel. Just as you were now.

It felt safe, this trust, this exclusivity. He didn't want to say it yet because he is afraid of startling you, but he loves you, well as the mutual sanctity that you both can find in each other's presence. He absolutely adores you, he truly does... but the shit that comes out of your mouth, by the gods. He'd eat broken glass for you, certainly. But have you ever looked at a girl and wondered, what is going through her mind?

“...Would it be coercion if I said please?”

“I don’t think so? I don’t feel pressured by you.” He never does.

With some pondering on his words, connecting the dots around the definition of the word, you eventually nod in agreement.

“Oh. So, please?” You pause, before adding teasingly, “If you do…I’ll give you a scooby snack.”  I should pinch her for that, he considers.

“That is not a real thing.”

“It can be.”

“It is not a real thing, [name].”

“But it can be—man, you’d look cute on a leash.”

“I’ll do it—wait, what?”

“You’d put on a leash for me?”

“No—archons…”

So, that is how he found himself slipping his fingers underneath the band of his shorts, tracing the line of his hip—as if to delay it—with you wrapped around his body.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“What, did you finally realise how absurd this is?”

“Not absurd, I still want this, but-”

“But?”

“Don’t cut me off-”

“You’re acting as if you weren’t about to go on a whole tangent of ‘hms’ and ‘buts’ and ‘uhs’.”

“...fuck off.”

“Do you want me to do it or not?”

“Please.”

“Then shut up.”

“You always tell me to shut up…”, you pout. Cute.

Scaramouche exhales as the rest of his hand disappears into his pants, his fingers trailing along the length of his cock, creating a larger bulge outlining it. He’d prod his cock under his shorts, squeezing it lightly before trailing his thumb along a less than prominent vein, yet, he couldn’t derive any pleasure from it. It was like he'd forgotten how to touch himself. Recognizing his nervousness, you cover his eyes with your hand and rub circles into his lower stomach.

“Is this okay?”

He takes his hand out and fondles the bulge through the fabric of  his shorts. It was when he’d roll his hips into his hand had Scaramouche finally reach into his shorts to palm his newfound arousal, giving it a light squeeze and murmurs his approval as he feels a fraction of his nervousness fading away.

He uses his free hand to his boxers, allowing his dick leeway to spring out. So that’s what it looks like, you thought. It was your first time seeing one, aside from years back when you were younger and changing with the opposite sex hadn’t been taboo. Weird. 

Scaramouche’s legs were somewhat stiff, as if he didn’t want to show any more reaction than what he deemed necessary. His thumb circled the tip, giving the upper end of his member an occasional pump, inducing beads of precum and collecting them at his fingertips, slowly making his way down as he coat the length little by little. All the while, you'd massage your heel into his outer thigh, your hand going from his stomach to his waist before going south.

"May I touch you here?" You whisper.

"Mhm..."

And with a smile, you caress his hip dip. Once he’d finally reach the base, Scaramouche pumped himself a few before repeating the process while slowly producing a pool of saliva within the confines of his mouth. So, when he finally let out a soft groan, a finger grazing a vein, he'd lubricate his palm with his spit. You had to admit, watching him coat his hand with his own fluids was pretty hot.

You nudge a knee of his to the side with another foot, coaxing him to spread his legs a bit, and his complies without protest. At last, his hand wraps around his cock. Slowly, he begins with an almost lackadaisical roll of his hips, his hand moving in equilibrium as he gradually finds his pace.

It's dark, Scaramouche would realise, as you brush back his bangs, bringing an end to the compromisation of his sight. And you're beautiful. He adds, a momentary last of his shutting eyes, repressing a hum in response to the growing pleasure pooling between his legs.

"Your eyes are so pretty, and listen to the way you pant, gosh."

Your middle to pinky finger caressed the angle of his mandible, index tracing a line of drool trailing down his jaw.

"And the way your hips are moving…it’s so cute.”

“Cute?” he exhales, brows furrowing.

“Yeah, cute. And, I love how easily I can wrap my legs around you. You’re so small, y’know?”

“Small isn’t really what a guy would like to be called by his girlfriend when he has his dick out in front of her.”

“Scara, you’re like a head smaller than I am, you’re literally a petite guy…And well, I wouldn’t know whether or not you’re big or small...I’ve never seen another guy’s penis before. But it’s okay, if it makes you feel better, I’d like you even if you were modest in size.” you run a hand over his chest over his shirt.

“Modest…can’t tell whether or not I should slip a tear or take what I can get.”

“I don’t watch porn! How should I know? What do you want me to say, oh Scara, your dick is so big and fat and-”

“What’d make me feel better is if you'd just shut up and- yeah...t-that's fine...”

You insert your hand into the neckline of his shirt, the back of your nails scraping the bareness of his chest. You had to be careful to not rush it, lest you'd want to accidentally nick him with the ridges, but you can hear the blood in your chest rumbling!

Excited at the prospect of making your adorable boyfriend squirm. To make him feel good. To hear him moan and groan and whimper and hum and cuss, to coax the cute thrusting of his hips out of him, to hear him say your name like he wanted to fuck you. So cute, so needy, so precious.

Scraping lightly against his skin and fingers splitting just as they were about to touch was most sensitive. You’d repeat this motion a few more times as your boyfriend would nudge his chest towards your touch, trying to atleast get you to graze him where he needed you to. 

“Stop teasing me.. ” 

“Haha! I’m sorry, but the way you’re reacting is just so cute! I—oh gods, was that a whimper? Would you do it again if I…” You relent with your teasing, eager to earn yourself another one. You press your thumb down on his nipple and your grin widens as his eyes roll back. He was practically seeing stars, brain short-circuiting for a moment.

Your gaze furthers down as you drank in the sight of Scaramouche's heels kneading into the mattress, the contractions of his stomach, the twitching of his thighs, the acceleration of his hand gliding along his slickened cock and the tantalizing jerk of hips. He could feel the pressure building up, the blood rushing to his dick and the trails of fire the cells left in its wake through his body. His climax was approaching.

His low moans devolve into round of panting and groaning before transitioning into a stream of choppy whimpering and needy hums. All this time, he'd been looking outwards at the ceiling, but as his climax approached, Scaramouche would chin up and find it in himself to look up at you, reciprocating the tenderness of you gaze with a lustful and affectionate haze. Whatever reserves he had fading to the back of his mind, and archons, he loves you so much. You're so beautiful, how-

Scaramouche's skin prickles, the knot in his stomach comes undone. So—with the arch of his back—he chokes back a moan, substituting it with a strangled cuss and a hiss as he felt his orgasm roll in waves through his nerves, to the very tip of his digits. You wrap your arms around him once more and with a squeeze, you bury a kiss into his scalp. You watched in an almost childlike fascination, toes flickering and a soft string of hums vocalising at the back of your throat, tapping your fingers on him, as his shot up in threads.

"...It's kind of like silk...from a spider."

He finally fell limp and breathless and your legs wrapped almost snuggly around him once more. It had taken him a moment to process what you just said, coming down from his high. When he did, however, he groaned. Whether or not it was due to the aftershocks of his orgasm or out of annoyance (probably both), he didn't quite know. You assumed the latter though.

"[name], no. Gods...fuck." he mumbles, followed by some incoherent cussing and murmurs.

Scaramouche rolls to the side and cups you breast once more, languish, fondling it before slipping his still messy hand up your shirt. It felt weird...you liked it. And how cute he was, when he'd eventually succumb to his fatigue. And, soon, he'd awaken to you too once more.

Author's note: Pleaseeee comment!! This was my first smut and I'd love to hear some praises and constructive criticism. And please reblog :D Thank you so much for reaching to the end.

[millytherat]

Reading through @badaziraphaletakes inspired me to make a post about reasons:

Why people tend to choose Crowley of Aziraphale, and, consequently, think Aziraphale is bad

This might be a long post, i'll cover some topics and i might get all over the place at some point! But please be patient! Can i get into it?

Inversion of values

When first watching Good Omens, you might expect a strong inversion of values, that Heaven is bad and Hell is good, angels are the oppresors and demons the victims

It is mostly religiously (religious trauma) motivated, aka "christianity is a fucking bullshit" motivated, to expect seeing the ones who calls themselfs good (Heaven, who we interpret as Christian religious figures) be actually bad (wich, in real life, they tend to be) and, the ones they cast out as evil and sinful (Hell, wich we interpret in this case as anyone the church calls sinful, like the queer comunity) to be good and innocent and just different, it makes us feel emphatic for them, even seeing that they are, indeed, bad

I believe some people just dont want to accept it, they want to believe the angels are inherently bad and the demons just questioned their bad ways

But they arent, if anything ALL angels and demons are naturally good and innocent, "oh but Gabriel!" He was naturally good, we saw it, the same with Michael and Uriel too, they're all just tainted by the strong grip Heaven demands for them to have; in episode 1 season 2, we see both Crowley (as starmaker) and Aziraphale being totally innocent and adorable, they're good by nature, no one in the story is actually evil

When this inversion of values we wish for isnt fulfilled, it might cause an annoyance, i know a lot of people who dont accept it, and just make it up because... well is expected!

Queerness

This was originally taken from a post of "Bad Aziraphale Takes"

Crowley is "more queer" than Aziraphale, at least thats how people see it as, in fics too, how many times Crowley gender is explored, with pronouns and labels and identities? While the more i saw for Aziraphale was a vulva or they/them pronouns, and never in a human au! Aziraphale is depicted and seem as a cisgender male

I have seem even people saying Aziraphale have internalized homophobia! I- how??

Found them! @theelastword made an ask on the "bad Aziraphale takes" blog that inspired this bit <3 thank you love

Need for a villain and favorites

As we saw, people that hate Aziraphale choose to see Heaven as evil, as the villain, and that is also followed by many people who dont hate Aziraphale! Well, might i say that... we dont have a real villain in Good Omens? The angels arent evil for wishing to follow what they believe to be God's plan, nor for deminishing humanity- but i'm getting ahead of myself here!

The need to see Heaven as inhetently bad, the big bad villain, makes people see Aziraphale, going back there "freely", hurting Crowley's feelings, saying Hell/demons are the bad guys (wich they ARE?? There is not an inversion of values!) As him being evil, as him going to the side of the villain instesd of choosing Crowley, going back to CROWLEY'S abusers, not his, not theirs, Crowley

I do believe humans have a natural need to have favorites, when you're a kid is always "wich caracther of this cartoon am i?" and later is always "wich do i relate to more? Wich do i like more?", and people choose Crowley for all those reasons above and probally some personal ones too

So! As a small conclusion:

People choose to prefer Crowley, they choose to see Crowley as better because he's a "good demon", he's the victim that fell from Heaven and hates Hell, he's the queer caracther, he's kind and genuine and helps Aziraphale and have a car he loves

Because of the idea that Aziraphale is: A) opposite to Crowley; B) an Angel! (The abusers! The bad guys! The evil!); C) a BAD angel for that matter, he's selfish and mundane and comes across as rude to Crowley (because he acts so fucking autistic too!); people tend to DISLIKE Aziraphale, small simple minded people, but people nonetheless

I know the whole post is a bit over the place, it might sound confusing here and there, but i really wanted to put all this together to try and understand why people hate Aziraphale

I though maybe this can give a small input on why people think like that, it sures helps me to understand how they think that and what they mean by their terrible takes! I guess is mostly them being naive

Oh! You know how in the 2000's the media was demonizing femininity by having blond, pink, feminine villains in their high school romances? How we, to this day, tend to see feminine girls as fake, vulgar, naive, etc? How most teen girls go through a "not like other girls phase" because of that?

Same principle! Is the same reason for why they see Heaven and Aziraphale as evil

I hope someone can appreciate this lil silly thoughs put together <3

[stars-n-spice]

Things my family said after I forced them to watch the Bad Batch Clone Wars arc with me because it was my birthday:

This was the first time ever that my mom watched Bad Batch and did not ask me who Wrecker was or why I have a crush on him lmao

My mom: "Why do they age like that?" - "They white-washed the clones." - "Oh."

A clone would pop up on the screen and my sister would go, "Crosshair?" or like,, try and get their names right and then get all happy when I said she was correct

Tech spoke and my mom burst out laughing and looked right at me - "He seems very familiar."

"Crosshair has HAIR?!?" <- one of my sisters who has seen these episodes repeatedly because I always watch them

My brother asked if Rex was going through a breakup and if that's why he's blonde - then he asked "Oh, he's Anakin's bro though, right?" And when I confirmed it he was he went, "Oh, nvm. That makes sense." Which ???? Hello??

He ALSO asked if it was canon that Hunter was very hairy??? Because in his mind,, if he was really hairy that's why he has good senses - like how the hairs in our ear pick up sound or something??? And then said if he made fanart of Hunter he would make him very hairy. Which,, I completely approve of and want to see more of.

Every time one of the Bad Batch would do or say something one of my siblings (out of the four I have) would say something along the lines of - "Autism." Or "Oh my god they're so autistic." - They said this the most with Tech and Wrecker though, but Crosshair was a close third.

When Crosshair did that little shot with putting the Firepuncher on Tech's shoulder my sister was impressed - "Oh, that was smooth."

And then everyone made fun of Hunter for taking off on the grappling hook, firing at the Poletec and missing (My mom: "Yeah, shoot at it so it drops you a hundred feet from the ground, that's real smart"), and then fucking falling off of it

When Crosshair was goading Rex about Echo my mom was like "Why did he come if he's going to act like this?" And I told her, "He's a little bitch." And she burst out laughing.

Then when Rex, Crosshair, and Wrecker were fighting my dad was like "😧 so violent!"

My mom didn't believe Rex in thinking Echo was alive - she kept going, "I don't know..." and then they opened the stasis chamber and she was like "😮 omg he was right."

They all collectively felt bad for Echo after seeing him for the first time - "Oh, THAT'S why he looks like that 😦. That's inhumane." <- my sister who would make fun of him every time he saw him

He'd turn around or something and show off all the holes and they would flinch and cringe :(

Then my brother and sister started talking about accessorizing him and putting flowers and stuff in those holes :( which I thought was sweet

And my mom kept yelling at Tech to "UNPLUG HIM ALREADY!!!!"

My mom kept saying that someone needed to get Echo some pants - "Mom, I don't think they brought pants on the mission." - "So? Anakin has like three layers! He can give him some clothes!"

She also kept saying "me duele la cabeza" every time Echo touched his head

My sister called Hunter a "femboy" after he did his little head roll he does after taking out those droids - which,, uh,, okay?? sure I guess???

And my brother called either Crosshair or Hunter gay at one point for like,, no reason I mean,, obvious reasons but I cannot remember when or why he said that

They kept asking why they didn't get shot at all and kept giving the droids shit about being useless

My mom about Tech being like 🤓☝🏽: "Why does he do that? Does the finger do anything?? Does it get the information out faster??" - My brother: "It's his antenna." - My mom: *bursts out laughing*

every time Mace Windu was on the screen they would complain about his design - "Why'd they make him look like E.T?" <- my dad

They did not like Admiral Trench at all - thought he was gross

They thought Wrecker and Crosshair one upping each other was funny

Also also - My Mom: "Crosshair can shoot again?" <- she watched s3 with me (without seeing any prior bad batch episodes) - "Yeah, he doesn't have trauma yet." - "Oh."

"It must be so fun to be a part of a group with zero brain cells." <- my brother about the Bad Batch

It was funny because they'd ask questions of like "how" and "why" literally seconds before the characters themselves would ask the questions and then go like "THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING ANAKIN!!"

There was probably more shit they said but that's all I remember off the top of my head.

Also here are some things I noticed that I hadn't before:

Crosshair is a fucking DIVA. Holy shit?? It's so weird to go from s3 Crosshair to TCW s7 Crosshair because they feel like two different people. For some reason he seemed really young to me? Like I know that the Bad Batch are all technically supposed to be the same age and Crosshair is just the "youngest" but for some reason he REALLY seems like the youngest in TCW. Like to the point where he seems ACTUALLY a few years younger than the rest of them. Like if all of them are supposed to be 26(ish) he felt like he was 24 or something because he was being a little teenage brat like,, holy shit.

Like you have Hunter kinda acting like his interpreter and explaining his behavior and whatnot and then you have Wrecker who is always looking out for him and ready to square up and fight for him whenever Crosshair pushes buttons, and it just really makes it seem like Crosshair is truly the youngest. And not even like in terms of "coming out the tube last" or whatever, but like,, in a regular family dynamic he seemed a few years younger than the rest of them.

Idk if that makes sense,, but like,, he was acting like a teenage brat or something and it made him seem so much younger than he is??

After Rex gives the speech to the Poletec to convince them to join the fight, Crosshair goes "UGH" and Dee Bradley Baker put so much sass and disgust into it - I was fucking dying,, holy shit.

Also my mom and brother pointed out that Wrecker flips over the gunship with ONE hand and I wasn't able to function for a good while. Max.exe stopped working because I realized they were RIGHT and oh my god oh my god oh my god-

ALSO!! ECHO HAD EARS THIS ENTIRE TIME AND I THINK WE JUST COLLECTIVELY FORGOT??

I mean,, I say "we" but maybe it was just me - but like,, I remember when Echo took off his helmet in s3 when he was infiltrating Tantiss and everyone collectively lost their shit

BUT LIKE!! AFTER THEY RESCUE HIM AND HE HAS HIS LITTLE JUMPSUIT THINGY HE HAS HIS EARS!!

Idk - I think my family thought I was crazy because all of a sudden I started to shout "HE'S HAD EARS THIS WHOLE TIME?!?" in the middle of an episode

[yannaryartside]

A revision of Claire’s “pushing” and who really benefits from it

A list of red flags I have been thinking about.

gif by @felixcarlucci

I was reading this post and reflecting on why it felt, like @brokenwinebox mentioned, that Carmy was always in the passenger seat in the relationship with Claire (physically and metaphorically); their post is amazing, by the way, talking about this concept of "pushing" and how it should be a mutual thing.

I want to go back to the party and the context of Carmy and Claire's past. All of it is enhanced by that interview with Molly we have been discussing.

My biggest question here is:

Why? Why the hell Claire "could tell" that Carmy wanted a relationship with her? They hadn't spoken in more than a decade, for real, wtf kind of signal did she see that he wanted to be with her? Does she think he has been in love with her all this time? Did she get that idea when she supposedly met Mickey? Because if she pursues Carmy, assuming he has feelings for her but only assuming this because of what other people told her, that is kinda fucked up. It all goes back to Fak being the one that tells her that Carmy loved her after all that shit he said while being stuck in the fridge. I swear to God that the more Molly says things favoring ClairexCarmy, the more red flags I see. Did Claire pursue Carmy knowing it would be a sure thing. "Oh yeah I remember you, you had the most obvious crush on me"

There is also the context of both of them growing up in the same spaces, Carmy very shy and Claire a very popular girl. Did she hear how lonely that was, which made her assume he was avoiding her because of a lack of social experience?

In their first phone call, she never let him explain if he was bussy, even after all that talk of her being supportive of the restaurant she said "don't make this weird," Claire was completely dismissing that Carmy was indeed doing something important to him; she never offered to work around both of their schedules, almost like she knew that if she "pushed" enough, she would get what she wanted.

And even that, their first date or hangout is not to a coffee place, maybe a restaurant with Claire actually interested in Carmy's profession and passion, or any other place they could get to actually know each other after, I repeat, a decade of not seeing each other. She brought him to a party.

She knows the Berzattos and how gatering will go on their avail, she knows Michael will set things on fire, she knows he comes from a family of addicts, and she knows carmy had difficulties on social environments (we can assume by the pictures they had around, taht Carmy attended to her birthday party and other stuff surely).

So why the fuck, on their first "date," not only does she insist on going to a party, but she tells him that he "owns her" to go there? Where there is alcohol and other people that he may felt rejected for as a kid? She knows this is a scenario that may cause him anxiety or discomfort, and she insists he must go. Maybe I am projecting a little bit here, since I am autistic, and at some point in all my friendships or relationships, I have to have a conversation about places that, because of my disability, I don't enjoy.

(little note aside: the excuse "my friend needs me" to convince him to go was utterly pathetic. Almost as much as "you own me.")

But what does this mean coming from Claire in the "pushing" thing? Does she feel she can push him to become (kinda by force) the person that will hang out in the same places as she does, assuming that is still what he wants?

She also knows that he probably felt cast aside from social events because of his shyness, and she invites him to provide all the things that may cause her to look like his only anchor in this stressful scenario.

She brought him the soft drink, tried to tell other people what a cool job he has, and told him what to do to comfort and upset a friend of hers. It felt like she was walking him on a tutorial on "how to be normal," and I didn't like that at all. Again, I may be projecting here, but the dynamic was kind of hollow regardless.

It is not like it is bad for Carmen to socialize and whatever. But she removed his agency completely; it feels like manipulation on many levels because she has perceived a lot of his struggle in this area; she also ignored his first reaction to going to the party and flipped her way. Carmy ended up trapped with a lot of immature young adults with whom he definitely has nothing in common. There was no space for actual empathy or connection to him to "come out of his shell." His conversations with Sydney are so natural because of this; there is connection and mutual respect, and he was very out of his shell with her.

The Pushing between Carmy and Syd this next season will likely be in a professional context but also rooted in a (future) agreement on mutual collaboration. But my feelings about this are not only for sydcarmy.

The "pushing" in ClairexCarmy was always in the context of Claire getting what she wanted and Carmy having to force himself to make it happen. There was no discussion, no middle ground, not even a recognition of why certain things have been difficult for you in the past; it is not an actual intention of helping to heal, but an expectation of the other to go your way "because they want you/love you. Claire is sure that only because of her will he want to change, and she will gain his heart by providing the scenario for all these things Carmy desperately wanted as a kid. I am sorry, Storer, if this is the love story you want to sell us, a salvation of all lonely/hurt people, I am very sorry, I hate it with all my heart.

[lexirosewrites]

for Slick Sunday, I guess.

i was re-reading your fic Touch Me, and thinking about how painful it would be if Steve hadn't called Eddie at the bar. Cause he failed, he knows he did, he doesn't want to see Eddie and admit that he failed at his homework because that night was already awful and if he hears Eddie say he's bad, it might destroy him. So maybe Steve hides until the bar closes, and goes home after. And (I love a separation) maybe Steve calls and cancels all of his future appointments. Eddie did say he graduated from the program, after all. And since Eddie broke like, 92 codes of ethics, and could definitely lose his license for it, he doesn't chase Steve down.

Steve meets the Alpha his parents want him to mate with a few days after telling them that he's "cured", and just barely holds back a full breakdown during it. The alpha isn't terrible. Genuinely. The guy knows that Steve is uncomfortable, and isn't aggressive, but even the reduced amount of contact is painful for Steve. Its not like he can tell the alpha he's going to mate that he never wants to be touched or kissed or fucked or knotted, that would only make the alpha mad and then everything would be even worse.

So maybe - this is the thought that started it by the way - Steve's parents tell him to contact a doctor - 'a real doctor this time Steven' - and Steve ends up with a prescription for his anxiety and panic attacks. Basically, they had him a crap ton of sedatives and say to take daily, and also as needed when he's feeling extra anxious. Obviously, this means he's taking a ton of meds. Think stereotypical 50s housewife zombie. Between the drugs and dissociating from his body, he can keep anyone from noticing that he's having panic attacks anyway.

I don't know how or why or whatever, but Eddie sees Steve with his mate-to-be.

Like, Eddie hasn't seen or heard from Steve since the session when he gave him homework, and god, imagine how much Eddie would be hurting and guilty and aware that Steve was not at all ready for that yet. Then he sees him, eyes glazed as the alpha keeps an arm on him. I want to say that Eddie gets it immediately, and interrupts immediately, but its more painful if Eddie lies to himself first, and its not until he sees Steve when the meds are wearing off that he snaps.

He sees how Steve starts to tremble, and how his breathing speeds up, and Eddie sees when Steve is actually looking around and seeing the world. Sees when Steve sees him. Sees the glimpse of longing and terror and disgust and shame before Steve is opening a pill bottle and swallowing them dry.

Cause in the fic, Eddie says that he'd fight anyone for Steve, and god damn but I'd love to see that.

yet again I say that I can’t believe you guys imagine even worse scenarios for my angsty fics😭

as someone who is autistic and pretty touch adverse for the most part, Touch Me was yet another coping mechanism for my brain and I don’t think I could’ve handled making Steve suffer even more than he did tbh!! that poor omega would’ve been an absolute disaster of a human if he’d tried to move forward with the arranged mating to an alpha😭😭😭

[myohmyimanxious]

Hazbin Hotel Headcanons bc I'm obsessed xoxo

(Some NSFW is implied/mentioned)

-Husk was there when alastor sold his soul to whomever it was

- He also has no trust is alastor whatsoever like he's terrified of him but he also wouldn't trust him for his life (literally)

- Angel has PTSD

- But he doesn't realise he has it, bc he represses feelings and everything

- Charlie and Angel have a sibling dynamic

- They're pain in the asses for vaggie and husk

- Charlie reminds angel of his sister molly

- He also doesn't really like to celebrate his birthday bc it's not the same without her (unless he's shit-faced drunk and won't remember)

- Vox will make his screen brighter or flicker to get and hold val's attention

- Angel is Husk's lucky charm in gambling moments

- Angel genuinely did love val in the beginning and thought val loved him too

- Whilst Alastor truly does believe that a smile is a both a way to control the situation and hide one's true intentions, his smile is stitched on and he physically cannot remove the stitches as it's part of his deal

- Alastor is colourblind in the same way deer are

- Angel knows what they said about him in Angel court and he plays it off but it really upset him

- Alastor was a serial killer in his life

- He was never caught though

- Alastor plays static when actively trying to ignore someone

- He also plays music for the hotel to dance too, finding that he and Angel enjoyed the same music (bc of the similar time period)

- Husk once got alastor drunk enough to dance with Charlie and taught her how to Charleston dance

- Nifty is like everyone's child. You cannot mess with her

- Nifty will bring bugs to the person she likes most that day (usually alastor)

- Vaggie has threatened angel's life on many occasions

- Those two argue constantly (it's friendly tho)

- Charlie spends a lot of her time breaking up little spats in the hotel

- Charlie has nightmares about the time she saw alastors true demon form

- It made her feel super bad for him too, and she's offered to cut the stitches on his mouth but he refuses

- Lucifer is trying to be a better dad

- It's hard but he is actively trying

- He likes to hand out rubber ducks he's made/painted when people are upset

- Angel has a lot of them, bc he frequently seems to catch Lucifer when he's returning from work

- Lucifer is autistic for sure

- And his ducks are his special interest

- Lowkey he's also smitten by fat nuggets when he meets him

- So much so that when angel is at work lucifer happily offers to feed and look after the lil guy

- Fat nuggets once ate off of alastors plate, and that's the only time it ever happened bc by fucking god did alastor go crazy

- He didn't hurt fat nuggets tho it's okay, he wanted to but angel was like ILL DIE AGAIN BITCH TRY ME MOTHERFUCKER and pulled out some guns

- Angel gives Alastor the tea of what's going down with the Vee's when he gets it

- Mainly bc he hates the Vee's as much as Alastor and also bc Alastor asked him too and he's kinda scared of him

- And also bc it's fucking easy bc Val is a dumb bitch who doesn't know how to be subtle if he tried, Vox thinks so little of Angel that he thinks Angel would be too focused on the sex and Velvette doesn't care much for Angel either

- That's not to say that the Vee's haven't tried to get Angel to be their spy on the inside too, it's just Angel is like nothing to report also I gotta work sorry and just lies to them

- A wannabe patron once was rude to Charlie and lucifer decked them

- Everyone was amazed he had it in him to do it like that bc damn mans was pissed

- Let's just say nobody is rude to Charlie anymore just in case

- Also Charlie is also fucking terrifying when she wants/needs to be

- Someone called Angel a whore and tried to touch him and she went off

- Lucifer had to hold her back

- Fuck with her friends and she will kill you 😊

- Charlie cries at everything (good or bad)

- Vaggie is a real trooper putting up with it

- Angel was like "would you be like that with me if I cried all the time?" To husk, and husk with no hesitation said "fuck no"

- Husk treats Angel like a princess in the streets but a slut in the sheets

- They've deffo fucked behind the bar

- Charlie and Rosie keep in touch

- They have tea parties with Alastor

- Val is scared of Niffty bc she's unpredictable and bc he's not over what happened in the club

[lurkdragonstuff]

I'm an atheist and a philosophical materialist. I don't think there's anything more to the universe than what can be observed and measured. Disagree if you want, that's fine, but take as read that this is where I'm coming from.

As you can imagine, this makes it very strange to me that my brain thinks I'm a dragon.

I have been trying to square this circle for years. Since around the 2000's, when I first made contact with the Internet, I would look in on the otherkin community, and the draconic community nested inside it, and I would think, man. I wish I could believe that. I wish I could believe that souls were real, and that I had one, and that it was a dragon, and that's why I was so odd. For quite a while, I just explained it as a furry fandom thing. Sure, yes, my fursona is feral, but ferals are furries, too. This is still true! I'm still in furry fandom, and my dragonself still acts as my fursona. But they are also, in a deeper sense, me.

I'm a secular pagan. I don't think gods exist, and I don't think magic is literally real. I can't really cast a curse on shitty charities. The moon's a big shiny rock. It doesn't care if I roar at it when the sun reflects off it just so and I can see the whole of its tidally locked face.

But my dragon brain doesn't know that. It likes the big shiny rock. It likes little shiny rocks, too. It likes to light things on fire, and considers this a sacred act, both bringing destruction to noxious things and bringing honour to things worthy of it. It likes to growl and hiss when things annoy it. It likes to collect things, to have a hoard. It likes to range around its territory, keeping an eye on what's around in what season. It finds it frustrating that its wings don't seem to work at all, and its other limbs barely better. It wants its tail back. It wants its fire breath.

I'm autistic. Sometimes speaking is hard, and I growl and hiss when things annoy me. I like to collect things related to my special interests; I have a sprawling collection of cetacean, Nintendo, and SEGA figurines, as well as lots of little animal figures. Plushies, too, and videogames, and books. I do wildlife photography, as well, marking who's around in what seasons. This is, to my frustration, limited a lot by waning energy because of chronic health problems.

If backed into a corner, to say what I really believe, of course I'm a human. It is in my DNA, expressed in a bipedal body plan, five fingers on the forelimbs only, nails and not claws, no wings, no muzzle, no tail, short neck, skin and fur instead of scales. Not even any horns. I find this frustrating, but it is what it is. I also find it frustrating when people call me 'she' and not 'they', and that really there is no feasible gender presentation that would guarantee that strangers would use the right word. The best I can hope for is that people will read the 'they/them' button on my hat, or otherwise call me 'he'. Still wrong, but at least novel.

I honestly think my draconic identity developed when I was younger as a way to explain why I was so weird. I have never been normal. I will never be normal. As an adult, I have fancy words like "autism" and "anxiety and depression secondary to post-traumatic stress disorder" and "seasonal affective disorder" to explain why I'm abnormal.

But a part of my brain, I think the same one that still believes in magic and deities even though I don't, tilts its head, then grins a sharp grin and says, "Cool story, bro. I'm still a dragon."

I generally have, for any given of my eccentricities, the philosophical materialist explanation (generally that I am either brainweird in some way or another or am playing pretend for placebo purposes to manage executive function etc.) and the dragon explanation (generally what the pretend play revolves around). But - and this is hard to explain - it isn't exactly playing pretend, either. It's me.

When I'm pretending to be Link, either playing a Zelda game or writing Zelda fanfic, Link isn't me. I might be inhabiting him as an actor, but he isn't me. When I play Animal Crossing, and I'm playing a character named after me, that's closer. It's me but greater. Me but more. Me existing in a life I wish I could have.

When I put on my mask, when I sit and daydream about the multiverse-hopping shenanigans I get up to, when I hiss at someone startling me by getting into my space, that's me. I'm not a dragon, I'm a human wearing a mask, daydreaming, hissing because "back the fuck off!" isn't allowed in the workplace.

Yeah. Cool story, bro.

I am still a dragon.

[disventure-rewrite-takes]

I just wanna live in a world where Tom is canonically autistic and his entire arc in All Stars would have been to learn that yes, you can unmask and some people will still like you for who you are. Maybe he did work on himself after season 1, maybe he got a diagnosis as an adult after feeling weird and out of place his entire life. It would have been fun to see him unmask, both literally and metaphorically. I don't know if I would have made him a cop tho, but that's on me. I think he would do much more good as a park ranger or something. He always loved nature, but befriending Gabby is what made him realize his true potential. Tree huggers besties for the win

I think it would have been lovely to see an autistic adult connecting with others despise his inner struggles and showing his strenghts (making plans, great memory, a natural leader, literal body strenght) as much as flaws (scared to show his real emotions, overstimulation, clumsiness and not fully understanding social clues).

Of course Tom wouldn't have ghosted Jake for two years, but maybe he's been acting distant on text/video-calls for some time now. Oh boy if I hc him as scared af of Jake discovering his real self. He's so convinced that Jake fell in love with his "normal" version and now whatever he actually is now- is not worthy of his love. Or maybe he thinks that Jake would treat him differently if he discovered his diagnosis. I could see Tom trying to mask too much around him, to the point that even Jake can tell he's hiding something from him. Maybe I would have kept the silly Jake/Tom/Aiden drama for two episodes, because Jake would have still jumped to the worst conclusion first. But James isn't booted first for this reason, dear god. Jake would grow suspicious of Aiden after some time, because Tom doesn't bound with Aiden THAT fast to the point of being an enemy in Jake's eyes in a single day. Let some episodes pass, let this drama being a background issue in the big schemes of things, until Jake sees Aiden and Tom holding hands and cuddling or something from afar. It does look very suspicious when your maybe-boyfriend-maybe-not acts weird around you and gets intimate with someone else. Now that's when Jake acts like he did in the original series, let's say around the musical episode. Tom and Aiden do NOT kiss on stage, anyway. But he gets reminded of what he saw in the woods earlier and that memory haunts him. But you know what? Jake decides to do better than his past self and tries to confront Aiden, first. He can't stand traitors, but since Tom keeps avoiding him, what else is there to do? Aiden, of course, acts like a mature person and doesn't out Tom to Jake directly. But he does says that what Jake saw earlier was Tom feeling so overwealmed that he couldn't even breath properly and he needed someone to calm him down. He tells Jake that Tom is scared of being treated like a big baby and doesn't want to show that to anyone else- besides himself. Why is that? Aiden says that he "gets it". He could be neurodivergent himself, or maybe James is or maybe he's got a close relative or friend who is. He just gets it, but Jake doesn't get what "it" is.

AIDEN: "Why don't you ask him for yourself?"

JAKE: "TSK! As if, he keeps avoiding me and acts like a weirdo whenever I want to talk"

AIDEN: "Then don't. Be there for him without talking. You'd be surprised how much that helps him"

Aand that's how this silly drama ends and Tom and Jake finally sort things out and you get to see their relationship blossom again. If Aiden-Tom-Jake make it to the merge, they'd be a cool alliance until something happens and one of them gets eventually voted out.

THIS IS SO GOOD???? HELLO this ask single-handedly make me like tomjake like. 2% like it. that is CRAZY the power that you hold

i think this would be even better if aiden himself (or james as you said) was also autistic, and yk what, pairing this with some other anons that have said this, make jake also have BPD and that makes tomjake bond even more. they're a gay4gay nd4nd couple and i feel like that would be such a better exploration of their relationship and characters than the utter bullshit we got

this is genuinely one of my favorite asks i have ever gotten on this page. thank you so much for this