#get divorce
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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She took the pages.
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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman
#and hijinks ensue. obviously.#BONUS POINTS if they're gender nonconforming/questioning/trans coded#back at home they'd get dressed up then switch outfits in the taxi on the way to the gay club#now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want#he already has a glamorous collection of silk dressing gowns but she's the one who drags him out to buy a closet full of evening gowns#he tries to throw his suits out to make closet space and she steals them for her own wardrobe#also i think they should be a fun mixture of supportive and Cattily Judgemental about each other's dating decisions#just for funsies#like when your bestie is making a mess of their love life but you're in no position to lecture them bc youre WORSE#no wait wait wait#FINAL SEASON they both realize they're trans and move abroad permanently--where they each assume the other's legal identity!!!#SERIES FINALE: a joyful double wedding--wherein they lovingly divorce each other#and (under their switched identities) legally marry their longterm partners
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Powerful Traditional Healer, Psychic Reader, Harboulist and Love Spell caster in The demonic distress of bad luck, witchcraft, relationshipproblems, financial stress and spiritual illnesses end today! Want to Fix a BIG Problem? Battling with an Addiction? Need To Solve A Dispute? Suffering a Spiritual illness? Witchcraft Eating YOU Up? Bring Back Lost Love instantly Spice Up Fading…
#black magic removing#blessings to get big tenders and contracts#body and family protection Spells.#bring back your lost lover#casino winning#control over your partner#get divorce
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"just as I did, in 1983."
you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable
#my art#interview with the vampire#iwtv amc#iwtv#armand iwtv#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#devils minion#drew this before the finale but idk maybe this is during the unspecified amount of time between armands divorce and daniels press tour#the titian painting doesnt fit at ALL with the timeline btw#i THOUGHT it did bc i assumed 1508 was when armand was turned into a vampire BUT upon reflection thats more likely the year he was born#and even then the painting was made in like 1510 so fuck me i guess. also im foggy on when armand was taken to rome#idk man i havent read the books and i failed art history on two separate occasions i cannot endeavor for accuracy#anyway as much as i love 70s/80s devils minion i have equal love for old man daniel#his cynicism has been tempered by time... refined like a diamond... he dont gaf and bullies his loser vampire and its hilarious#like ''sure yeah fine all these old italian renaissance guys saw ur ethereal otherworldly beauty but literally anybody can see that''#''IM the only mf who gets to experience the incandescent joy of seeing you be a messy idiot''#sidenote trying to make armand look unflattering is impossible u can blame the show for casting the worlds most beautiful man
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Zeus all arrogant: My oh my brother, all that work to get revenge on the mortal, and he beats you?You must feel so ashamed…
Poseidon, still bleeding profusely and literally vibrating from horniness: Do you think if I kill his son he’ll do it again?
#There’s something so homperotic about getting stabbed by the man youve obsessed on for years with your own weapon as you beg him to stop#You know what they say#Gay people can never have a normal divorce#anyways masochist Poseidon ftw!!!#epic the musical#the vengeance saga#epic the vengeance saga#epic odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#Poseidon#epic poseidon#Zeus#Epic Zeus#tagamemnon#Odyseidon#Manwhore au#not like technically but I’m tagging it so people who don’t wanna see this shit can filter it out lol
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HI
#actually maybe they shouldn’t get divorced idk if it would be humane to subject anybody else to dating either one of them#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#the book of bill#book of bill#gravity falls#gravity falls bill#gravity falls ford#gravity falls stanford#bill x stanford
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David Tennant doesn't know how to half-ass a kiss. If/when we finally get a good kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale, I suspect I will be passing away from the passion of it. He just puts his whole David Tennussy into every kiss.
#one thing about David Tennant is that he's gonna be kissing#David Tennant kiss#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#ineffable husbands#aziracrow#david tennant#michael sheen#good omens 2#aziraphale x crowley#a/c#ineffable partners#ineffable divorce#ineffable kiss#I swear if we get another chin kiss I will punch a wall
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Here to throw them into as many romcom tropes as possible
#my art tag?#astarion#baldur's gate 3#gale of waterdeep#bloodweave#put actual effort into keeping everyone in their canon armour but drow armour looks so Correct on astarion#hes in his mcr three cheers for sweet revenge era let him be#anyway hope they get divorced soon
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in light of recent events
#I’m losing my mind theyre the most divorced ever#throw lestat in there and they’re like statistical anomalies for failed marriages#i love their horrible tactics and cringefail ways#so sorry if somebody’s already made this i just couldn’t get it out of my head#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#daniel molloy#iwtv spoilers#iwtv s2#iwtv amc#interview with the vampire#loumand#loumandaniel#m watches iwtv
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i love how charles and erik’s relationship trope is strangers to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers
#they get divorced every other week#atp everyone just goes “again?”#it’s a constant cycle#cherik#xmen first class#x men#magneto#charles xavier#erik x charles#charles x erik#xmen#xmen movies#x men first class#x men movies#x men memes#professor x#first class#marvel#mcu#mcu memes#mcu fandom#marvel cinematic universe#marvel memes#marvel xmen#fox xmen
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We all know how flustered Battinson would be as a first time dad, but can you imagine him when half the rogue roster AND JL members come to them after Jason gets adopted?
Naturally, they assume he’s Bruce’s biological kid. And chaoes quickly comes knocking.
Harvey is VERY ready to be a dad. Too ready. “Don’t even worry about it, even if we’ve had our problem, OBVIOUSLY I’m the father, and I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“What.”
“There’s no need to hide the truth, Bruce, I’m not mad. I’ll be the best dad I can be. I won’t even let Two Face show him how to shoot a gun.”
“I already know how to do that :D”
“WHAT?”
“What did I tell ya?” The seamless switch is blink-and you miss it, but not for Bruce’s sharp eyes. TF just grins, switchblade sharp, ruffling at Jason’s hair, “That IS my boy.”
Clark sheepishly approaching Bruce one day, sitting down at the JL cafeteria table. His handsome face fashioned a bare earnestness which only confuses Bruce MORE.
“Hey. So, we should probably talk about Jason, right?”
“What.”
“I’m really sorry if I did something that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. But I’m ready to step up. So when should I move in?”
“We haven’t slept together, Clark.”
“Bruce, I think I’d know my kid when I saw him.”
Hal can’t take this anymore. “HE’S A MAN?” He pauses, “Also, why am I not questioned? I could be the baby daddy! I could SO be the baby daddy!”
“Go away, Hal.”
“Yeah ok.”
#by far the worst is khoa#doesn’t even say anything. just pops up at the manor. looks at jason. ‘’ knew it had to happen someday.’’ and he’s like cool. son.#Bruce: khoa please get out of my house#khoa: fine. have fun explaining divorce to our kid#Bruce: we were never married#khoa: and whose fault is that#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#battinson#harvey dent#clark kent#superbat#batman#text#text post#batdad#jason todd#bruharvey
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you're humming. Santa's cheating on Mrs Claus And you're humming. Santa's committing blatant adultery with an ingénue sugar baby w/ the voice of an angel Eartha Kitt. and you're SINGING ALONG
#Santa Baby#what if we broke a marital vow or two 🎵 light blue!#all this whilst Mrs Claus watches on with a glint (of murder?) in her eye---and on her (freshly sharpened?) knitting needles#my only question is who gets the naughty list in the divorce#i have a right to know whose jurisdiction i'll be serving my sentence under
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LEOPARD Skin has a sàcred
LEOPARD Skin has a sàcred symbolism associated with divinity and authority.The leopard is second only to the lion in Africa when it comes to muscle and to the cheetah when it comes to speed. However, both of them lack other skills that make the leopard more successful. A Leopard is gifted with ability to climb high trees at ease and to swim well, making it a superior hunter to all other wildcats…
#bad luck remove#big lotto wins.#blessings to get big tenders and contracts#body and family protection Spells.#bring back your lost lover#get back you lost items#get divorce#get famous#get financially stable
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I love "i would kill for you" ship dynamics but what about "i would stop killing" ship dynamic??
I would lay down my sword for you. I would change my nature and go against everything i've known. I would resist the easy way out of solving my problems. I would give up the adrenaline of battle to stay by your side and make tea instead. I'm not sure I know who I am without a weapon in my hand because I've had to fight for so long but for you I'm willing to try and figure this out.
It must be hard. To put down your weapon that's protected you for so long. It's allowed you to stay alive it's kept you from getting hurt--physically and mentally. Because you've never had to worry about a real relationship if you think you'll be dead at the next battle. And you feel naked without it and it feels like you're ripping off an extension of yourself. Are you even whole without it? Are you worthy of being loved if you can't prove it by risking your life? And yet they've found someone who's asking them for something much harder than dying in battle on their behalf. They've found someone who wants them to live. And that's much more terrifying.
#i know this sounds like the 'bad guy falls for good guy' which can be fun but thats not what i mean#anyway. this wasn't quite zukka but i do think it aligns with my au of zuko not dying on the throne and sokka retiring his sword to paint#and living like piandao in the mountains. urging zuko to retire and zuko no longer needing fire bending and not knowing what to do with#himself if he doesnt have to fight#so he uses his bending to make tea instead :)#aka this is how divorced zukka can still get together#zuko being upset bc sokka chose work over them in the first place but so dodnhe#but he gets a second chance in retirement#if he can give it up
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i love normal guys doomed by the narrative
#either that or hilariously dysfunctional or both#tf one#orion pax#d 16#megop#megatron#optimus prime#my art#saw one post pointing out in the trailer that a like5 frame shot of megatrons cannon that was snuck between their mahoushoujo type transfor#mations and like.messed up deeply messed up u see how goofy best friends orion and megsy are theyre just silly guys but in every telling of#their story they always end up enemies ok like in a meta multiverse hopping way think about it.like oh my god prewar tfp megop was already j#juicy and earthspark divorced-remarried megop is like.RGHFH tf one is going to destroy me bc this is what they had Before do u get me#before the war before they fell apart before friends became enemies and hands were stained before the beginning of the end im so so normal#like ok.this silly tight goofy buddy dynamic thats shown in tf one so far is.is what they had before. its what they could have kept if only#if only things turned out differently. but in every world optimus prime and megatron end up leading opposite sides of the bloodiest war ever#ok.its a universal fact and everyone who knows any transformers knows this BUT THE CHARACTERS DONT THEYRE POWERLESS TO PREVENT IT#ill clean up these tags in the morning but like im so.so normal about fictional robot guys#anyway i was intending to draw a background for this but i got lazy and also spent too long on the hands!!!!so whatever
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