#fucking trained him to murder people??
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Henry Morgan from Dexter truly one of the worst dads on TV...
#told dexter to lie to a psychiatrist?? so he could never get help??#fucking trained him to murder people??#made him dependent on him??#didn't tell him about brian?#was sleeping with his informant mother that led to her being brutally murdered in front of dexter#destroyed any record of that case??#called him a monster??#idk im just watching dexter series 2 and he just consistently fucked dexter up
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this is gonna sound incredibly virtue signal-y i fear but i have been feeling. so fiercely protective of all the transfems i've ever met lately
#marzi speaks#I PROMISE I'M NOT TRYING TO EARN GOOD BOY POINTS HOLD ON LET ME. EXPLAIN MYSELF HERE#obvs we're in kinda a tense political climate rn#and i'm noticing trends have been getting . increasingly misogynistic lately?#in like . a subtle but for sure still noticeable way#and women are being dismissed and all this awful shit#and ppl are going. completely mask off about it when the woman happens to be a trans gender#and it reminds me of when i was a little girl. and how my mom spent so much time in my childhood#training me to not stand for and take misogynistic bullshit from anyone. and to defend other women too#she taught me to assert myself in professional or academic environments. she taught me to stand proud and take up physical space#once as a kid my great uncle (who's always been a nut) didn't let me come on a fishing trip because i was a girl#when i came to my mom crying about it because i loved boats and fishing and my family she just about murdered him. completely tore into him#my whole life my mom has been there to tell me that people will try to put me down. they will try to overlook me or dismiss me#or make me feel smaller. and if i dare to get too confident i'll be labeled bossy or a bitch#and that no matter what i do i cannot let those pieces of shit win. i cannot let that stop me#and that i'd have to fight so fucking hard for it my whole life and it won't be fair but i will do it because i have no other option#and i'm seeing a lot of transfems having to navigate that now too#but they didn't get the privilege of being trained in this since day 1. they have to figure it out on their own#and the demonization right now is so strong that a single misstep can be. so dangerous#and it makes me so mad. all of that built up anger from every time i've had to learn how to not take misogynistic bullshit comes to a boil#the little girl scout in my brain who grew up forcing people to see that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants fuck you is ACTIVE rn#she's angry. she's so angry. because she's seeing the same bullshit she dealt with in middle school being repeated again#anyways. transfems. i love you so much. you deserve so much fucking better.#i hope you can safely advocate for yourself. until then i will fucking yell and scream from the rooftops because this shit is so unfair#you should be allowed to succeed and you should be allowed to fail. and you should be allowed to take up as much goddamn space as you want#and wear whatever the hell you want. transfems i love you and i am so so angry on your behalf. modern feminism has failed you#and i am going to kill someone over it#remember to be loudly and unapologetically yourself as much as you safely can. do not let them crush your spirit
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and it's like despite all the awful shit he's done and continues to do, like, i get it. he's employed like 24/7/365. he never got to live a life, despite spending a childhood clinging to the hope of having one someday. He knew companionship and love but lost it and can't ever get it back. His circumstances are so anomalous and gruesome that it completely isolates him from pretty much every other human being on the planet. he knows hell is real and he is basically guaranteed to go there if he can't break this demon curse thing.
like it doesn't make the kidnapping and spreading the curse around any better, but i do get it.
#like personally i don't blame him for the actual murders#and it's hard to blame him for hiring people without telling them because like lol.#anyone who's like 'oh he should just tell ppl about the demons' like what are you onnnnnn if you went to a job interview with a creepy old#guy and he started talking about demons and hauntings and shit you would think you're being pranked or that he's lost his damn mind#and fuck offffff with the 'ohhh not me im a quirky bean i'd love to take a job if the interview was like that' like sure. ok. maybe YOU wou#but what are the odds that milford in 1998 coming off the satanic panic has a thousand yous running around waiting to be hired#like i honestly dont have any suggestions for how he could have handled the hiring situation any better#now the actual JOB i have plenty of feedback#like yea he should be there to train your ass against the demons lol we got more hands-on guidance for the embalming (the non deadly part)#but like the whole 'raymond is evil cause he kills possessed ppl and hires people without telling them abt demons'#do you think that old man can run the whole mortuary by himself and also have time to teach classes#until he inevitably dies from either stress or the demons and is sent to hell (which he knows is real)?#it's my understanding that by having others around who can help him fight the demons he'll have the spare time to figure out how to#break out of the demon curse or break possession or literally any useful information that could treat the disease and not the symptoms#he is running out of time!!! he is only getting older and the demons are only getting more frequent and someday he won't be fit enough#to properly banish them!!! if you even care!!!!!!!!!#fucking tag essay lmao#mr delver i wont u...
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ok very interesting quest in hsr
#theyre getting better at this writing shit#hsr spoilers#tho i think dh and jy was still kinda random lol i guess it made sense since it was a dream(?)...#i haven't seen enough people crying abt misha but to me. its sadge we can't see him on the train anymore :( but he got#his wish.... he talks abt always wanting to go on the express and traveling and he did it.... he made it!! so im happy for him :')#aven pisses me off lowkey ipc hater group. whatever tho#i like where they went w robin so now i'll just wait for sunday#also the boss design is so nice and cool and very reminscent of ena but fuck the gameplay oh my god i hated fighting sundays mecha body#so much .... i swear if robin's gonna need those materials i'll just be like . 🧍♀️#much to think about though. at the same time i actually have no idea what happened and need to read a plot summary#hsr#they also need to stop putting elements that i don't have built like genuinely besides gui.naifen and hime.ko i have 0 fire chars#and id rather not use ms train navigator bc she doesn't seem good against bosses#robin and sunday are intriguing and so is boothill.... neutral on fire.fly but i guess she's alright at least she improved from getting#murdered for shock value in 2.0#ramblings!#oh one more thing sunday apologist i dont think what he did was necessarily right i just want to chew on him like a toy#hoyo loves their characters falling out of giant robots#chicken wing boy pls be playable i'll pull he's so funky a bit in over his head but we love a biblical coded guy w savior complex#oops edit: also wtf is the state of the family rn we kinda just fought sunday fought sunday again for real this time and then he fell#and penacony went back to reality??? or what? maybe i'm not comprehending or maybe there's another part to this???????
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infinity train gory murder time
OwO
#also i was right like two years ago. grace IS wife lake IS daughter#rafi: why is grace your wife. she's the worst??#'because she's psychologically traumatizing people and being the worst person she can be bc she thinks that's strength while committing#murder and refusing to believe in the personhood of NPCs. she's hennessy.'#rafi: your taste is predictable yet very specific. also fucked up.#we just got to the murder holding the guy against the train wheels and watching him gorily hemorrhage to death. hewwo. OwO#infinity train
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he could have been arrested 100 times and murdering him is STILL WRONG!
Go to hell if you justify it! I will even burn y’all myself!
#it's a mental health issue#not a gun issue#imagine thinking that because a black man who was homeless was arrested 44 times#the yt biiitch who killed him is a cotdamn hero#die in a fire#I’ll even light you the fuck up!#you’re going to hell with that inhumane shit#are you fucking serious#I hate you fuckers#Same thing with the bystanders who watched him get killed#I’m just sitting here trying to understand#how you sit on a train#and watch a man get murdered#How do you just sit there?#Y’all know who you are#Y’all are some of the weakest#most evil people on the planet#Who does that?#burn in hell#You'll notice that all of the people who love to state that are perfectly fine with the murder of a man experiencing mental health crisis#Fuck them too!#heartbreaking 💔#black lives matter#important#tw: discrimination#true crime#topic: discrimination#tw: oppression#youtube#topic: oppression
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Like I'm not one of those story "critics" who will nitpick the smallest inconsistency and call it a plot hole that ruins the whole story. I'm okay with inconsistencies and even the occasional plot hole if it ends up producing a story that's interesting, gripping, and brings up interesting things.
The problem is that suspension of disbelief only stretches so far. And secondly, stuff like character drama and themes are only as strong as the plot that supports them. If the plot is full of contrivances, plot holes, and really stupid things that make it feel like the author is just forcing something to happen to move the story along, then the themes and character drama become much less convincing.
#squiggposting#anyways i do like problematic idw op and i do like it when he has enemies and ppl who don't trust him#but not when the plot to make ppl hate him is stupid as shit and barely makes any sense#or when optimus does something mildly dubious and people act like he personally tortured their families and then murdered them#or like when characters are oddly hostile to OP/the autobots but are perfectly fine working with far worse ppl#like how the humans were all 'fuck the autobots theyre evil' but were fine with helping the cons build a fucking base???#after the decepticons already killed 1 billion humans??? including soundwave who is one of their main liasons???#if the humans really didn't trust the decepticons then why didn't they just say 'fuck you you can't build a base in our solar system'#or like that stupid publicity plot point about how OP 'abandoned' jazz when like.#so you're telling me OP can't defend jazz for killing one. ONE cop in self defense#but it's not bad publicity for him to associate with soundwave who. let me repeat. was literally on the ground slaughtering humans in AHM#spike even knew about how that entire situation with the cop was a trap laid by megtron but somehow that never came up in the whole comic#it's just so dumb man like it feels sometimes more like its an IDW OP hate train and actual logic is secondary to making OP look like an as#also galvs being all like 'that's my boy' when OP annexed earth when galv is a racist boomer grandpa who kills organics for sports#i refuse to believe that guy would be impressed by anything less than OP personally murdering a human. not making them part of cybertron's#gov. you know? it's just silly#it's part of why i've been putting off rereading barber's comics because it was weird and contrived the first time#and i don't really want to put myself through rereading it again just to have to suffer through shitty plot again#so many things in that series couldve been genius if they were written in a plot that wasn't aggressively mid tier
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I forgot to post anything about this, but I did the scene where I had to read some of my writing to the dnd party (twice!) and they were SO nice about it. I couldn't stop smiling. (which was kind of a weird disconnect since the scenes were super dark, lmao.) But augh, I'm so glad they were nice to meeee. My poor boy Rook is Going Through It right now, and things are about to get worse.
Next session we also might get to do our first version of ship combat using the rules I made which is kind of wild. I'm very nervous, but I feel like after this last session and sharing stuff I wrote with them (out loud!!!) I can handle it. Probably.
#morrigan.text#I literally couldn't sleep saturday night because I was too nervous-cited for the session. But it actually went really well.#for everyone tbh. Not just me. Everyone knocked it out of the park with their obituaries for the dead PC and it was great.#we even made his player cry asdkjaskdjasd.#Rook's obituary was a train wreck but that's the whole point of it so like I accomplished my goal lmao.#everyone was SO mad at him it was kind of funny.#he stared down a FUMING ancient moon dragon and didn't get turned to ice so that's good.#my beloved idiot bastard man. he does NOT deserve the shit I'm putting him through right now.#mmm maybe I'll rewrite the scene where he stared down the moon dragon bc it was really intense and is much less monologue-y than the eulogy#which will make it easier to write. I suck at writing monologues into proper prose form.#anyways.#morrigan plays dnd#campaign: the vanguard#also... the fact that Rook literally JUST got done saying how no one needs him and then this fucking dragon (who is FURIOUS with him rn) is#like ''I'm not killing you because your friends need you and I need you''... god. My oblivious little baby boy. What the fuck Rook.#Accept that your friends love you goddammit.#and then the party bard who Rook has been beefing with for weeks was actually really nice to him??? and that fucked him up too.#but he still left the party (intending to only be gone a day) to think about shit and also grieve for his mentor who turned out to be evil.#since he knows no one in the party liked that guy anyways and they did violently murder him in front of Rook...#So next session Rook has ANOTHER funeral (kind of) and he also is gonna get kidnapped.#and Val gets to show up!!!! Val my beloved!!! I'm very excited to play them but I have no idea how the fuck to play them off.#they're the complete opposite from Rook in every way and Rook is easy for me to play. So Val will be... a challenge.#I'm not cut out to play characters who are genuinely good people lmao.
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replaying twdg for genuinely the first time since it came out and MANNNNNN. playing this game with a fully cooked brain. theres some good writing in there. some of the foreshadowing and stuff. oof
#crow.txt#twdgposting#i guess sure#and i forgot baby clem is like. pretty well written as a kid character goes thats easy to fuck up#SHES JUST A LITTLE BABY THING AUAUAUAUUAUU CLEMMMMMMMMMMM.#we poppin the biggest bottles when fucking larry dies i cannot stand this fucking man at all i need him to die faster i need him to explode#i forgot he dies like Literally next episode but thats not fast enough#i forgot the st johns insane shit is episode 2 like MAN it feels like more shit happens before then#bc so much happens There. my GOD.#who up impaling andy st john with a pitchfork. can i get a hell yeah#oh shit the train one is third. goddamn season 1 always felt so much longer than it was#but i guess it was just that i was like.. 12 whenit came out or whatever#but some of the writinggggg ugh like#'aw that was my dad's cane. that thing was used to defend this place better than any guard dog'#and then using the cane to barricade the door when they were leaving......... waahahhhhhhhahhhhhhhhh..#this wasnt writing but when clem was asking about the cane bc shes Six Years Old and Baby#my bf said something like 'her legs work shes fine'#giggled. foreshadowing is a literary device-#also the parallel of lee clarifying that hes not clem's dad all the time when people assume that#and clem doing the same for aj constantly in the last season. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the parallels.#something poignant about a convicted murderer with a life sentence being the most sane decent guy in the apocalypse yknow#i love lee soooooo much i will throw the fuck up#lee everett will see a tiny baby stranded alone and say anyone gonna adopt her and not wait for an answer#the first time i played this i didnt pick up that the voicemails from her parents. her dad was bit they were dead before this started. oof
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/ Since I mention in my pinned post that this blog has some changes from canon, I'm going to make a rundown post that I'll be linking in my muse info on my blog. My timeline post covers some of this too and has other things canon to my muse that aren't here because they're timeline based and not direct changes based. I'll update this as needed.
Repede had another owner before Yuri got him in the game. I'm combining this with FS. Thus, Repede would have been basically an infant when he and Lambert ended up with the knights. From there he took to Yuri as he did in the FS drama CD so Yuri was primarily in charge of Repede during his stay with the knights, but he and Flynn raised Repede together as is in line with the game. This means they continued raising him together even after Yuri left.
In the JP version of the game, Yuri says he was with the knights for a short time but doesn't specify how long that time was, so I'm completely yeeting the "three months" dub aspect from this blog. I can't reasonably assume he signed up, took the exams, went into training, went from errand boy to battle status, then went on normal missions and left in the span of three months. So as usual, we're following the JP timeline. Generally anything the dub makes up or actively changes from the original context/tone gets yeeted here.
In the FS drama CD, Flynn is extremely repetitive about Yuri quitting the knights and with his nagging. At least with @mistralxsoul and anyone else who prefers it the following way in threads with my muse, we're toning it down because it just feels absolutely batshit to us how bad it is in the drama CD (it's worse than even the movie itself).
Since the timeline for Yuri and Flynn's knighthood conflicts super horrendously between the novel, FS/FS drama CD and the game, I'm mixing all of it together (primarily because I consider the novel more canon than the FS drama CD). Basically (for my muse), they signed their names and didn't take the exams immediately, but when they eventually did it was at least a couple years later, due to Yuri still having his teen appearance when he signed his name to join in the novel. This is because otherwise, if I average my muse's teen age out to be fifteen/sixteen and his age to be about eighteen/nineteen in the knights, it would mean he'd been with the knights (including training, etc) anywhere from 2-4 years if his sign up was immediately after the novel's events. If they were to sign up and join immediately after the novel timeline, it also makes even less sense because Flynn's attitude in FS and his relationship with Yuri (and remember, the FS drama CD comes before the movie's timeline and Flynn was even worse about Yuri's attitude in the CD) would seem like it literally 180'd overnight.
So basically, to avoid all this insanity, a short summarized timeline for my muse would be: they signed up but didn't join right away, Flynn moved away and was gone for a couple years or so after the events of the novel, both of them changed in personality/behavior drastically in that time, they met up at the exams, they went into training, they got sent to Niren's squad, they were more errand boys than actual knights when they were still super fresh newbies and Yuri was extremely annoyed with that, they were actual knights for a while (I'm going to say Yuri was a knight for at least six months or more, especially if I consider the trajectory of Flynn's behavior toward him in the drama CD through the end of FS), the events of FS were not one straight timeline and things happened between the days etc etc, then Yuri left.
Following the game's drama CDs, Yuri hesitated a lot more when Flynn was injured at Zaude. If not for Flynn nudging him to go after Alexei even while wounded, Yuri wouldn't have left him there.
Following the same drama CDs, it's Raven and Repede who find and look after Yuri when he wakes up after Zaude. That is to say, Repede was already with Raven and lunged when he sniffed out Yuri in his room (super doggo powers). Raven followed Repede in a panic, who ran to Yuri's room upon realizing Yuri was there, and Raven finds Yuri awake but right in the middle of passing back out (the sound is basically Raven's voice being distant with some ringing, so it's from Yuri's point of view that Raven is trying to get him to steady himself but he passes back out). Raven takes care of him from there until he's recovered properly enough to go back. In this time, Rita did investigating and eventually, with the others minus Raven, went to Zopheir after deciding they couldn't dawdle and just wait in their grief. While they're there, Yuri and Raven have headed out after them and show up together and reunite with the rest of the group. Raven has already been updated on what Yuri knows from Duke at this point (Duke saved him as usual, but the drama CD changes come in after that), so the two of them update everyone else.
In the game, there's a skit with Yuri, Flynn and Karol where Yuri mentions "playing in a river", but in the novel, they were actually getting water at the river and the other kids were playing in the river when they got attacked by a monster, fell into the river (Yuri also mentions (I thiiiink in another unrelated skit) that just falling into "a river" was enough to panic him), and Flynn grabbed onto a merman. For my muse, I'm just going with Yuri simplifying the situation to Karol while keeping the novel's event as my muse's canon.
#{ muse info + headcanons }#/ a lot of the timeline post itself is also for me and not y'all LOL but like. if you need to know#differences in interaction with me this stuff is good to know at least bc I don't strictly follow the game canon#I follow a mix of official content and obviously some of it overlaps and retcons other things#as for the dub if you've been here long enough y'all know I hold a huge ass grudge against#how much it changes Yuri's behavior/personality and his attitude toward Flynn#but the three months thing just does not feel reasonable to me on top of the dub just making it up#and it helps SO much to have that free time period for writing#even if we assume he wasn't counting the training to officially join the knights in the dub#three months is... way too short imo and then if I combine the FS drama CD with that#it makes even less sense bc the girls tried to get Yuri to stay when he did actually almost quit#on top of the whole not rly doing knightly things for a while at first#and yeahhhh it's just a fucking MESS to try to cram everything with all this content into three months#also like since I LOOOOVE the teen arc of the novel and that's My Fucking Baby Boy#I don't want to actually change anything from it so I'm just mixing everything together to keep it all#it's like... I love all the official Yuri content and so I want to keep as much of it together as possible#but since it's not always the same people working on the content or bc there's such a time gap between content#things aren't always consistent and when it comes to writing a muse I just. NEED timeline consistency#even if I have to make it myself LMAO. I try to keep as much of the game stuff together as possible#since I know most ppl interacting with me only know the game and possibly the movie#and not all the drama CDs and all the various JP exclusive content#but it's hard to keep it together perfectly when there's so much other content I'm using that has formed my muse#like... my muse exists the way he is bc of all this content you know? and only using the game#would change him a fucking lot in hindsight with the way he thinks and reacts and such#like... there's no fucking way he's not traumatized after the events of the novel in the teen arc there's NO fucking way#it was bad enough that it nearly pushed him to murder when he was a teenager#and he might have actually done it if his foster mother didn't stop him (and end up doing it herself)#so yeah I mean... I do my best to keep him within game context with most people I interact with#but the more you interact with this boy the deeper you're gonna get into muse specific lore lol
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cw: gun play, throat fucking with a gun im sorry, simon coming untouched, masturbation (reader) I NEEDED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY BRAIN SO unedited
simon with a gun kink that he's kept hidden would be crazy.
imagine ur big, beefy husband coming home after a long deployment. he's tense, his fists are clenched tight and it's clear he's got a ton of steam he needs to blow off.
at first, you expect a normal night together of him plowing you into the mattress so hard that the bed creaks and hits the wall with every thrust. the kind of fucking that leaves you trembling for 15 minutes after you've finished and cleaned up. the kind that has him pulling you into his arms to soothe and coo at.
but something is different this time.
he starts removing his gear one by one as usual but instead of removing the holster with his gun and safely placing it down, he unholsters the gun completely.
you're watching with bated breath as he unloads the weapon, carefully pulling it back and peering into the chamber. you're watching his hands move, admiring how strong his fingers are and how the veins in his hands bulge out with every movement
you deviously excited by the time he approaches you -- the gun still in his hand.
he brings it up, placing the nozzle against your chin, finger hovering off the the trigger. but you know how well-trained he is -- how good he is at his job. you know that he could have that finger on the trigger in a milisecond, faster than you would even be able to comprehend.
"open," he orders, a voice that sends shivers down your spine. it's firm, rough, authoritative. it's a tone you imagine he uses when he's on the field.
soliders bow to his every whim and you're no better. but unlike those who are trained to obey him because it's their job -- you obey him because you know if you do, you'll get the sweetest reward in the world; that thick, full cock still hidden in his pants.
your panties are already wet and sticky and your brain’s already feeling fuzzy by the time you open your mouth.
the shock of cold is the first thing you recognize followed by the tang of metal as the weapon settles on your tongue. your lashes flutter as you look up at your husband, face still obscured by his balaclava but his pretty, brown eyes burn holes into you nevertheless.
he slowly and carefully slides the gun deeper into your mouth until it presses against the back of your throat and you involuntarily gag. a groan rips from his cheeks as he watches the tears gather on your lashline.
"that's it, pretty," he coos, "bet you wish that was my cock huh?" you nod your head as best you can with the weapon lodged in your throat, "maybe i'll give it to you if you put on a real nice show for me."
his words take a moment to register in your fuzzy brain but once they do, your hand is flying down between your legs at record speed. you slip it beneath the band of your panties, barely lifting his shirt that you're wearing out of the way so you can finally find relief in the ache that has settled in your cunt.
your folds are wet and sticky as they part around your fingers and you struggle to swallow around the gun in your mouth. there's no give to the metal and drool begins to dribble down your shin in long, thin strings.
simon's cock is hard, heavy and leaking against his thigh. this has been one of his best kept secrets, to watch you submit to his gun -- to the weapon he has used to murder countless people with.
and here you were, doing as you're told, throating his gun while you play with your pretty cunt. he can hear how wet you are, can see the way you desperately hump your own hand trying to get your fingers deeper and deeper. but they'll never feel as good as his, you both know this.
so all you can do is tearfully look up at him through clumped lashes as you choke and gag on the gun he continues to keep stuffed down your throat.
his cock throbs at the thought of being where his weapon is now. he envies it.
you mutter something, muffled and incomprehensible but he knows what you're saying. he can see the way your pupils blow out, hear the way your breathing grows erratic and choppy. you're trembling and breathless, messily jerking your hips into your own hand as you desperately look up at him -- begging for anything to push you over the edge.
his finger finally lands on the trigger of his gun and he sees your eyes widen but the desperate, teary look you give him only tells him more of what you need.
there's a muted, empty click when he pulls the trigger. the gun is empty, you both know this -- but it sends you over the edge anyway.
simons cock twitches and twitches, balls tight and heavy before he's spurting his load down his thigh at the sight of you cumming on your own fingers and moaning around his gun.
the hand holding the weapon trembles as he cums untouched at the entire scene. you pull your head back, gasping for air before pulling your hand out of your panties.
simon lurches forward, you don't even have time to react before he's taking the sticky, messy, cum-covered fingers into his mouth.
he's on top of you, pressing you down beneath his weight, the gun tossed and forgotten on the bed because now all he can think about is fucking you into the mattress. <3
#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley smut#ghost x reader#ghost smut#cod smut#cod x reader
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It would be hilarious if villains loved Nightwing and were terrified of Officer Dick Grayson.
Dick Grayson- who is used to open spaces and adrenaline- being stuck in a boring bleak office, surviving on shots of coffee and red bull with caffeine that would make Tim concerned.
The thugs soon realised that unlike most of the other cops - Dick was from Gotham.
No one fucks with Gothamites.
Villain *shooting at Dick with machine guns*
Dick *appearing from the shadows behind him*: Boo.
Villain: THIS IS A FIVE STOREY BUILDING HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE
Or
Thief *throwing a counting down bomb at Dick*
Dick: *catching and tossing the bomb at a safe distance before turning round and shooting it so it explodes mid air while running after thief*
Thief: .. what the actual fuck
Dick: Gee look at all that time you had! Shame you threw it away :D
Thief:
Dick: I’m from Gotham
Thief *realising they fucked up* : Please don’t steal my bones
OR
Shooter: *sets elaborate booby traps throughout the houses in an active hostage situation*
Dick *using his training as robin and inhuman flexibility to surpass them with ease*: Ah been a while since I got to have a nice stretch thank you.
Shooter:
Dick:
Shooter:
Dick: .. Hi :)
Shooter: Are you Satan?
AND
In interrogation room
Murderer: I think I’ll take your eyes and add them to my collection
Dick *running on spite and caffeine that could give Superman a sugar rush* : Funny.. I was going to say the same thing to you
Murderer: .. what
Dick: I wouldn’t take your eyes though.. they look like the inspiration behind the whole Medusa’s “look at it and you turn to stone” thing-
Murderer: Hey! Take that back before I gut you
Dick *smile stretching wider without blinking* : oh? Or what? I know everything about you. Who says I can’t kill you and walk out with everyone being none the wiser? I know how to kill someone too..you aren’t special.
Murderer:
Murderer: I’m scared for my safety.
Because the thing is, Nightwing is who Dick really is. It’s who he can be free as, be himself as without red tapes and regulations. Where he can give as good as he gets, and he’s kind and empathetic. He gets to help the downtrodden and goes easy on most of them if they give up right away, not to mention the fact that he never causes permanent damage.
But officer Dick Grayson is a different story. He runs on sleepless nights and no self preservation. Seeing an officer with an uncanny skill set they’re scarily good at, not to mention the cheery attitude he always has scares the shit out of criminals. Cuz no way in hell is a smiling Gothamite not a deranged one. He chases crimes like a bloodhound, and isn’t afraid to make good on threats he makes to ensure they never hurt anyone again.
Bonus if the batfam doesn’t know about this.
Red hood: Shit I can’t believe we ended up in Bludhaven
Red Robin *tying up the corrupt politican* : Since this is a sensitive case, we need someone we can trust to make sure it is seen through.
Red hood: .. So we paying a visit to Officer Grayson?
Politician *screeching* : NO NO NO NO! PLEASE NOT HIM!! JUST KILL ME INSTEAD AND TAKE ALL MY MONEY I CANT DEAL WITH HIM!
Red hood: .. is he fucking serious?
Henchmen: Sir he is. And we agree. Please take our bones and kill us but don’t take us to Officer Grayson.
Red Robin: Wait what did he do?
Henchman 1: He asked boss if the hat was sentient.. and said that if it was would it make that hat the top and boss the bottom.
Henchman 2: Last time we met I tried to shoot him but suddenly my gun was blank and he raised his hand and let the ammo drop
Red Hood: Well even I could do that-
Henchman 2: They were my bullets. I had selected the colour personally.
Red robin *growing concerned*
Henchman 3: He sang a lullaby to a child when we were holding the station hostage, and replaced the people with my family members. He even sang their social security numbers!
Henchman 4: He’s the most dangerous of them all. I ain’t shitting ya when I say he’s as scary as the bat from Gotham.
*all nodding in agreement*
Red hood:
Red Robin:
Red hood: Nah that doesn’t sound like Dick
Red Robin: Agreed. Let’s go there Hood.
*villains’ sobbing intensifies*
#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#red hood#nightwing#tim drake#batfam#red robin#officer dick grayson#batfam headcanons#dick Grayson headcanons#dick grayson police officer
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─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘪𝘪. (𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳) ⛵️
⤷ summary: miami and monaco. just lando being horribly down bad and y/n being at her wits end. poor oscar just can't escape the train wreck that is two losers with feelings and zero (0) emotional competency .
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liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 45,790 others
tagged oscarpiastri and landonorris
mclaren sorry to report that the only good thing about miami was the weather! (and the celebrities)
17,492 comments
user1 it's okay admin, you can say the car was shit
mclaren yeah the car was shit
user2 mclaren team is cursed i fear
mclaren alr where my witch baddies at? please unhex us pls pls pls
user3 uhm!!!????
mclaren desperate times desperate measures and all that jazz
user4 normal people: oh no the car is bad. yn: we're cursed for generations to come ☹️
landonorris i didn't get to meet shakira, what's the point of going on living
mclaren there is none! kys
landonorris oh wow
user5 nahhhh she gettin fired 💀
user6 not a single photo with lando's face 😭
user7 boohoo ☺️ OSCAR FANS, THEY BROKE BUT WE UP ‼️‼️‼️
user6 ok enough
landonorris post me challenge (difficult)
mclaren uh no (: go talk to hr bro we do not careeeeeee
user8 this beef is crazy, yall havent made up yet
user9 DOES ANYONE EVEN KNOW WHY THEYRE BEEFING 😭
oscarpiastri yeah
mclaren hey oscar! great race
oscarpiastri don't ever lie to my face like that again
maxfewtrell gonna build the car myself at this point
user10 i see a podium in our future everyone say thank you max
user11 y/n livestream when 😔
ynusername (;
user11 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
user12 lando and admin flirting again, who could've guessed
user13 ... she told him to kill himself
user14 the enemies to lovers is enemying 🤩
user13 yeah, it's giving enemies to lovers but no lovers only murder
mclaren truth.
user12 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HWRE
user15 mclaren, fire everyone and hire y/n as the engineer/ strategist/ driver/ pit crew/ pr
mclaren we winning 🥱
oscarpiastri you'd be the only one finishing cause everyone else would die ☝🏻
mclaren shut the fuck up oscar 🙄
user16 flying cars they said 😔
mclaren how the mighty have fallen
user17 WE THE BEST TEAM ON THE GRIDDDD YUHHH
mclaren i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this
user18 it's been 20 years since i've seen my husband 😞 (admin won't post pictures of lando anymore)
mclaren your husband is ugly as fuck
landonorris what the fuck!
mclaren get off your phone loser
user19 full oscar picture when (i'mbeg ging you please i needg it nowe)
mclaren BAD DOG DOWN OMFG
lilyzneimer i would argue you were the best part of miami
mclaren YOU ARE SO FINE YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEAUTIFUL GIRL 🤭
oscarpiastri GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FREAK 🤺
user20 y/n being unprofessional on the team page, who's shocked
mclaren and the world kept spinning
user21 we all know who was really shit here (looking at you lando)
mclaren it's not funny when you do it.
landonorris when she defends you 🥴
mclaren i'm telling a trusted adult danielricciardo
danielricciardo what the fuck makes you think i can be trusted
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would you like to join? yes or no
now loading...
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The image flickered onto the screen as the broadcast began. Lando, clothed comfortably in sweats, a cap, and his streaming headphones, looked briefly off camera to where his guests sat waiting to be introduced.
He glanced up at Streamlabs and was shocked to see he had upwards of 30,000 viewers. He had only just started the stream and many people had likely not even gotten the Twitch notification yet. He shook off his shock and plastered on his usual smirk.
Everything is fine. I am totally and completely fine.
"Welcome, welcome. How are you all doing today? There's a lot of people here already. What's the special occasion guys?" He joked, being met with a scoff from the girl to his left.
Everything is not fine at all.
Lando almost never felt nervous when he would stream. After all, he was just playing game with his friends, the chat comments streaming through at a speed he could barely read. Even then, being in Formula One for so long meant he was used to being watched, his every little move being observed nearly constantly since his debut in 2019.
And yet all it took was her presence and suddenly he was nervous. His palms were sweaty, his heart was beating at a mile a minute- honestly you would think he were racing. How could he be expected to be funny and charming when she was here. She never seemed to struggle much in the department. It was almost entirely natural for her. Being perfect was like breathing air to Y/n he suspected.
As he watched the chat messages stream past even quicker on his monitor, he finally caught Oscar's gaze out of the corner of his eye. The younger man quirked a brow at him. What's your problem? His teammate seemed to say. He ignored him. Stupid Oscar and his stupid opinions and his stupid, uncomplicated love life. Lando envied the Australian most days, but now he just wanted to punch him straight in the jaw.
"Alright, it seems like most people are here already, so I'll just get started. I'm sure you're all wondering who my special guests are. The suspense must be killing you surely," He teased his audience. He ignored the completely accurate guesses in his chat.
Was he so predictable that it could be assumed it was either his teammate, Y/n, or Max were his special guests? Or was this a more unfortunate warning sign that he was just plain old boring.
"Seems like most people in chat were smart enough to figure it out! Please give a warm welcome to my guests! The lovely, stunning, awe-inspiring Y/n!" He cheered as the girl groaned, rolling her chair forward so she was behind him and within the frame of the camera.
"Oh and also Oscar's here," Lando added boredly, voice almost entirely monotone. Oscar scoffed loudly and he shot into frame kicking Lando's chair roughly, almost knocking him over and startling a laugh out of the girl behind them.
"Your an asshole mate," Oscar scoffed. Lando didn't hear him. The melodic laughing in his ear from Y/n was quite frankly the only sound his brain could process.
Who knew a laugh could sound so beautiful.
Who knew I could be so god damn embarrassing, Lando thought miserably.
"Guys do you see what I have to put up with!? How I get any shit done around here is a wonder," Y/n scoffed, "Anyways, welcome everybody, this is my stream now." Lando squawked indignantly.
"Excuse you, your in my home!"
"Yeah, unfortunately," she muttered with an eye roll and Oscar laughed.
"You should be grateful! Although these aren't the circumstances I was hoping to have you here under for the first time," Lando said with a completely unsubtle wink.
Y/n grimaced and Oscar doubled over with the force of his laughter.
"Viewers I am so sorry, please leave now, I have no way to muzzle him and apparently I can't sensor him," Y/n scowled.
"I fear he might enjoy that," Oscar muttered with a shake of his head.
Oh you motherfucker, Lando thought. Talk about subtle.
"If it was you, I probably would," Lando said to the girl and she planted her palm into the center of his face and shoved him lightly.
"Oh gross, cooties or STDs or whatever it is you men carry," Y/n shook her hands off and fake gagged.
"EXCUSE ME!" Lando shouted as Oscar nearly fell out of his chair.
"You're excused!"
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Y/n was holding on to her sanity by a thread. Or whatever was smaller than a thread... a hair or something. They had been answering fan questions for nearly 15 minutes already and Lando had decided today would be the day he would do nothing but flirt with her incessantly. He was like a child with a question or dog with a bone; He wouldn't let it the fuck go.
The sound of text-to-speech beginning dragged Y/n out of her thought spiral.
"Lando, what is your favorite video you've ever filmed?" The question asked.
Oh brother, Y/n thought. She looked at Oscar and he only laughed. How helpful.
"Probably the water TikTok challenge," Oscar hummed in agreeance.
"Why?" Y/n asked in confusion. She realized belatedly that asking Lando anything right now was probably a bad idea. She had set herself up this time.
"I don't know, I'm just a personal fan of anything that involves your hands in my hair," He smirked and she rolled her eyes. Her stomach flipped as she looked at his eyes. How could such a stupid, stupid man have such nice eyes (and lips, and teeth, and-).
"Well that's interesting," She smirked back, leaning her body toward him, ignoring the way she was blushing down to her chest. Her ears felt hot. It was hard to focus when she felt like she was burning alive, an unfortunate side effect that seemed to come with the irritating Brit in front of her.
"That was my favorite too," she added and Lando's eyes widened. Oscar looked at her in confusion over Lando's head.
"Really?" Lando asked, suprise clear in his voice. His smirk fell away for only a moment, but it was long enough for Y/n to notice.
Poor little Lando Norris, she thought. A bit too easy to read, this one.
"Yep," she grinned, before letting her face fall. "I'm a big fan of anything that means I can drown you." She responded in a monotone voice. Oscar cackled. The poor guy had hardly been asked any questions. Y/n found she didn't feel too bad anyway. The asshole was enjoying her suffering far too much.
Y/n knew the chat was going wild at their interactions, but she didn't really find herself caring. Maybe this was a bad look from a PR stand point, but then again didn't they always say "any press is good press."
Y/n wondered if the idiots who said that had ever had an inappropriate attraction to their asshole of a coworker, who just so happened to be public figure with fans who were becoming more aware of the tension with every day that interacted.
Probably fucking not.
Y/n watched as Lando's faux upset face cracked into a smile as he began to laugh heartily. She couldn't help but smile. Y/n was finding it hard to hold onto whatever grudge she had before. Maybe Lando Norris and his perfect smile, and his stupid jokes and his charming attitude weren't all that bad. Maybe, just maybe.
But they had absolutely no affect on her. None at all.
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liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and 38,924 others
tagged landonorris
ynusername monaco post-gp (help me this guy is stalking me i can't get rid of him help hel
11,209 comments
user22 damn he took out my girl mid-sentence 😔
user23 Y/N POSTED LANDO?? AM I DREAMING?? AM I HAVING A STROKE??? OH GOD AM I DEAD
user24 girl calm the fuck down
user25 DOES THIS MEAN THE BEEF IS OVER
ynusername yes! (he has a gun to my head)
user26 LANY/N SHIPPERS WE RISE ONCE MORE
user27 get it together, they've posted together ONCE
user28 is lany/n in the room with us
user29 "lando and y/n getting along isn't real, it can't hurt you!" OH REALLY
landonorris i had other plans but i cancelled them to be your tour guide, you're welcome
ynusername me when i fucking lie
oscarpiastri do my eyes decieve me
ynusername shut up oscar
landonorris yeah shut up oscar
user30 couples that fight their friend together, stay together
ynusername i can and will block you 😃
user30 oh.
oscarpiastri no it's fine i didn't want to be invited
oscarpiastri i totally hate the ocean, it's not like i surf or anything
oscarpiastri looks boring, would've hated to go on a boat
landonorris other than the fact that i lost my flip flop in the ocean, it was fun i guess
user31 good job lando this came off exactly as nonchalant as you hoped king
ynusername HAHA LOSER YOU LOST YOUR SHOE
oscarpiastri I LOST SOMETHING ONCE 😞
user32 close enough, welcome back brocedes
ynusername literally what is the correlation here
user32 idk leave me alone
user33 um so this is actually insane
user34 i screamed so loud my neighbors called the cops because they thought i was being murdered
user35 can you be normal
user36 this might be the first original experience
user35 no, not original, just embarrassing
user37 i want to be excited about this but it feels so sinister
ynusername good, it should be
maxfewtrell never in my 23 years of living could i have expected this (lando messaged me to tell me what he was doing today)
user38 posting a comment is optional
maxfewtrell i have fomo, can i live
user39 lany/n shippers all around the world cheered
user40 oh you different friend!
user41 onto something ❌ on something ✅
user42 and the crowd is... the crowd is leaving??
user43 my crew lets go
user44 "war is over" we all say in unison
oscarpiastri not likely 💀
user23 HELLO OMFHADFSLJ
danielricciardo oh so you can hang out with him in monaco but not with me
ynusername sorry babygirl 😔 i didn't mean to abandon you
danielricciardo ew never fucking mind
maxverstappen1 i live in monaco too! hope this helps
ynusername i knew that already! hope this helps
maxverstappen1 oh.
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ynusername posted to story!
(caption: he won't leave me alone, this is sick)
17,822 replies
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landonorris posted to story!
(caption: she's trying to convince me it's cold out... girl no it is not)
24,006 replies
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I AM SOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK 5 MILLION YEARS TO BE UPDATED!! i am hoping to be more consistent moving forward, but my schedule is a bit of a mess with school. hopefully i'll be able to get some requests fulfilled soon as well though!
most importantly, thank you so much for all the love and support on this fic!! the amount of comments, asks, and dms asking about updates was staggering and it makes me so happy that you all like to so much (: receiving such positive feedback for this fic has honestly rejuvenated my love for writing so much, and i can't express how much the support means to me.
please keep leaving comments and dms with your thoughts, i love reading them <3 hope u enjoyed!
-
𝙩𝙖𝙜 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne @urfavsgf @sadsierra2 @96jnie @sltwins @poppyflower-22 @alliumiae @livelovesports @liberty-barnes @the-holy-trinity-l @iliwyss @awritingtree @redpool @elliotts1one @velentine @chaoticmessneutralplease @5sospenguinqueen @charizznorizz @2pagenumb @mxdi0 @cwiphswmwasohmm @tremendousstarlighttragedy @lnspipedrm @itseightbeats @tinycoffeeroom @woozarts @personwhoisther @a-beaverhausen @love-simon @annabellelee @ravisinghs-wife @chezmardybum @greantii @weekendlusting @monserelates @sapphiccloud @halleest @deamus-liv @gigigreens @morenofilm @laneyspaulding19 @lanireadss @dear-fifi @moldyshorts1997 @oliviarodrigostan13 @eugene-emt-roe @ilivbullyingjeongin @im-a-ghost666
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#formula 1#f1#f1 smut#f1 x you#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 smau#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando norris imagine#racew1nn3rs: fake it till you make it#racew1nn3rs
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Family Wrath
( Implied SA, not actually SA, POV outsider misunderstandings )
Okay I want all the misunderstandings!
Misunderstandings galore my beloved!
Anyway!
For this intrusive thought that decided to hit me as I was minding my own business-
Danny is the baby that Stephanie gave into adoption when she was young.
Obvi trans Danny,
So after Stephanie realizes just who Danny is she investigates (You can't escape the Bat paranoia training)
But here are the misunderstandings: Ellie and Dante (de-aged)
" Oh my God guys I'm a grandmother! "
But wait there's more!
Danny is how old?! With kids, that are very much not newborns?
" So who's the other parent? "
" Oh some fruit-loop named Vlad, he was obsessed with my mom when they went to college together but she wasn't interested at all & now he's obsessed with me. He really wanted the 'perfect' son but I told him to fuck off not that he cared about what I wanted. So yeah, sorry for rambling-are you okay you look a little pale, is the heat bothering you? "
Danny forgets that peoples first thoughts aren't " Oh yea clone! " Or timeline shenanigans
So what these concerned people heard was " Yea this adult man wanted my mom and when he saw that that wasn't an option he targeted me as a child "
Dante & Ellie are just enjoying the show intentionally creating more misunderstandings and havoc, they hope someone will finally go beat Vlad since they're now too small to beat him.
~
Dante: " Pappa practically died when I was born. "
Ellie: "Yea I almost killed him too! "
They're technically not lying just using what actually happened in a different context
~
Alfred after hearing what's going on grabbing his shotgun: " I still have good aim."
~
Jason/Stephanie: " A little murder is fine, as a treat "
~
Just more and more misunderstandings happening around Danny with him being none the wiser.
~
Feel free to add to my nonsense, I love it, it's fun to read what people come up with
~
Just an (Intrusive) Idea
#parent danny#older sister Ellie#little brother Dante#de aged ellie#de aged dan#misunderstandings galore#misunderstanding#tw: sa#but not really#don't worry#stephanie brown#glowy-death-ideas#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc x dp#batman#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#dcxdp#dpxdc
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People will go on about how "Katara's story is a tragedy" because she... ended up marrying the guy she loves, having children and grandchildren which she was always excited about and literally becoming a master waterbender and rising to the top of her field as a healer.
Yes, Katara's story has tragic aspects to it. And there are certainly flaws in how she is written in tlok (Though I will argue that there are actually more issues with how Toph and Zuko are just plopped in there for no reason in later seasons). And her storylines aren't perfect, for example her resolving her trauma around the murder of her mother being more used to prop up Zuko than her own internal turmoil. (Most of TSR is from Zuko's perspective and I hate that actually)
"Katara's story is a tragedy" Why do you have such a hard on for this woman's misery? Let her be happy, man.
You know what gaang girlie's life is an actual onscreen tragedy?
Toph's!
People will fucking downplay Toph's childhood abuse because she wasn't physically hurt, but her childhood was a never ending carousel of abelism, misogyny, neglect and isolation. The way Toph describes her parent's treatment of her as "pressure and pain" is heartbreaking.
Toph's only escape was Earth Rumble and earthbending, but despite her skills, she remained the perfect little lady her parents always wanted her to be. She's never known a different life, and she was only able to be her real self in secret.
And when Toph finally opens up to her parents, when she finally lays her real self bare in front of the people who are supposed to love and care for her?
She is met with what may be, in my opinion, the cruellest rejection in the show.
Despite this, even when Toph runs away, she still cares for her parents' approval. Hell, she's even lured into a trap due to her getting a forged letter from her mom and getting excited because it looked like her mom was finally accepting her.
It's also important to note how determined to be self sufficient and to prove herself Toph is. We can especially see this right after she joins the Gaang, where she refuses to participate in splitting with the rest of the group, insisting on "pulling her own weight". This isn't Toph being a brat, or spoilt, this is her wanting to prove that she can handle herself because people have handled and understimated her her entire life.
Eventually, Toph starts to learn to trust the members of the Gaang and this is a step in the right direction. She's literally making friends for the first time in her life I'm so proud of her.
However, I was genuinely upset when Toph's life changing field trip with Zuko didn't work out. When Toph was trying to connect with Zuko and he blew her off (I'm not blaming him tho they had shit to do), I couldn't help but remember the rejection Toph suffered from Lao.
Post canon, Toph continues to try and prove herself, starting a metalbending school and training new metalbenders.
She also reconciles with her father. Not before Lao disowns he rmultiple times and calls her a rude, ungrateful thing. And while he eventually comes to understand Toph and cherish her, that type of trauma sticks with you.
So it's no wonder really that Toph, someone who went her entire childhood seemingly without even speaking to someone her age, would have trouble forming connections. She has children with two different men, neither of which seem to stick around.
Toph tries to do right by her daughters and gives them the freedom she never got. Sadly, the pendulum swung too far to the other side, since it seems that she started to neglect her daughters, which led to them developing a sleugh of issues of their own.
Toph becomes the cheif of police, which kind of makes sense. Republic City was only slowly emerging as an actual metropolis. Toph took on a role as a protector, and probably as a way to prove herself. But as Republic City grew, Toph probably realised that she became something she hated. A cog in the machine, and started to despise her job.
Searching for a semblance of the freedom and happiness her travels afforded her in her childhood, Toph leaves the city and takes up the life of a hermit in a swamp. She managed to fix her relationship with Suyin to some extent, but still seems reluctant or simply unable to connect with her daughter or grandchildren. Since she apparently hasn't seen Opal, a grown 20 year old woman since she was a little girl.
On the surface old Toph doesn't seem terribly dissimilar to young Toph, still tough and spunky. But she is more jaded, depressed and pessimistic. She comes out to save Suyin from immediate harm and manages to somewhat reconcile with Lin, but then she fucks right back off to the swamp where she seems to literally hide until Wu and Korra straight up force her to come with them.
Toph's story began with her alone and it seems to end with her alone as well. It's a story of a girl who grew up isolated and handled by others, and was woefully unprepared for the real world, which only jaded her further. She lives with the guilt of fucking up her daughters' lives and a belief in the pointlessness of life.
Toph started off longing to experience the world and ended up willingly isolating herself from it.
If that isn't a tragedy, I'm not sure what is.
Mind you, this is not the trauma olympics. I'm not saying that Toph has suffered more than Katara or that Katara's trauma is not as valid as Toph's. Katara and Toph's experiences are completely different, Katara being a victim of genocide and war, Toph being a victim of child abuse. I'm just saying that, objectively, Katara had a happier 'ending' than Toph.
#that being said I lowkey love Toph's storyline#i don't think her life would be better if she were in a “traditional” family btw#hey lao beifong what if i killed you#toph beifong#toph#katara#suyin beifong#lin beifong#zuko#aang#lao beifong#beifong brainrot#opal beifong#legend of korra#avatar#tlok#the legend of korra#avatar the legend of korra#atlok#lok#atla#avatar: the last airbender#the last airbender#avatar the last airbender#kataang#pro toph beifong
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You can tell the exact mental state of Dick Grayson based on the music he plays in the car
His entire family monitors his listening habits, and if it's anything but things from the list of genres and artists that Dick normally likes while provably mentally stable, they get concerned.
Tim, texting the group chat without Dick in it: Hey, guys, just needed to let y'all know that Dick picked me up today, and he put on an NF song in the car.
Barbara: Fuck, he's depressed.
Steph: Isn't he always?
Barbara: No, like--more than usual.
-
A week later.
Jason: Y'all, I'm with him rn and he's blasting S&M in the training room. One of you bitches--and I will find out who--triggered some body image issues, and now he's sexualizing himself to cope.
Tim: Did one of you guys call him ugly or smth???
Steph: I would never. I'm not a mean person, unlike you guys.
Damian: Why did you immediately assume it was one of us?
Jason: Because y'all are terrible people.
Tim: I'm not taking this from a literal gang leader.
Jason: But I admit, that is a bit of a jump on my part. It could've been any of Dick's trash friends that he, for some reason, keeps around, so that's on me.
Cass: Monitor him so he doesn't do anything drastic.
Barbara: Let me know if he starts compulsively thinking about becoming a stripper.
Jason: If that happens, there's no saving him.
-
After Dick returns from Spyral.
Duke: Now this just might be me, but I don't think I ever pegged Dick as a metalhead before he went off to work for Spyral.
Tim: Dear god.
Tim: Don't tell me he's listening to SOAD.
Duke: What even is that.
Jason: System of a Down
Duke: Oh, yeah, it's that.
Tim: NOOOOOOO
Duke: What does that mean???
Barbara: He's self-destructive.
Steph: Isn't he normally?
Barbara: No, like--I mean yes, but more explosively.
Jason: His main goal is to blow up...
Barbara: Don't.
Steph: aND THEN ACT LIKE HE DON'T KNOW NOBODY
Jason: HAH HAH HAH HAH
Barbara: This is serious.
-
Steph: He's listening to vocaloid. That's....so odd??? @Damian did you have anything to do with this?
Tim: oh my god
Damian: The answer to this question is of high importance: what song is it?
Steph: Do you think I can speak Japanese??
Damian: Ask.
Steph: omg fine.
Steph: He says it's "Assassin Princess" by Mitchie M.
Tim: Hold on lemme listen to this shit
Damian: It's a good song.
Jason: Okay, but what does that tell us?
Damian: It's not a song I ever played for him.
Jason: So you're telling me he's listening to vocaloid independent of you?
Damian: It would appear so.
Jason: Oh, that's bad.
Tim: The song's about a spy and her partner murdering her ex-boyfriend who betrayed her.
Steph: He's feeling vengeful.
Jason: Oh, that's really bad.
-
Cass: He's playing One Direction.
Barbara: Honestly?? Chances are, he's fine.
Duke: Agreed. He's playing "What Makes You Beautiful", so I doubt it's anything.
Duke: Now if he starts playing shit from their solo careers, we have a problem.
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