#i love lee soooooo much i will throw the fuck up

[arundolyn]

replaying twdg for genuinely the first time since it came out and MANNNNNN. playing this game with a fully cooked brain. theres some good writing in there. some of the foreshadowing and stuff. oof

[kayabred]

I don’t know if I’ve done this before HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANNIE !! Haechan as your boyfriend!

Listen you’re his partner in crime whether you like it or not

The kind of relationships where the couple are best friends except if you guys hide and seek or something you best believe he’s going to pull you into a corner and give you a kiss

Super cheeky and playful , loves to fluster you for no reason

Calls you “baby” . don’t fight it , you’re his baby

Treats you to food and spoils you , that’s on period . He can be mature , actually and he’ll really plan dates down to every last detail because he really loves you so much .

But that doesn’t mean he won’t be a brat and sometimes make you pay which you have no problem doing .

I see him being more mature in an actual relationship because he really loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you

Late 👏 night 👏talks where you’re just lying on his chest and he’s holding your hand and you both just talk and then all of a sudden burst out laughing and have a pillow fight

The funnest relationship ever and no one can deny that .

Either looks at you like you’re the stupidest idiot on the planet or “look at that , that’s my idiot right there” and looks at you soooooo softly it h u r t s

If you’re older , he’ll do aegyo so much but if you’re younger (even by a bit) he will not spare you like he’ll just go “if you want to leave this room , do aegyo for me”

Loves being cute with you but also loves smacking your thigh and giving them squeezes you feel me ?

Sits you in his lap . 100% . Confirmed , he will totally do this . If you’re anywhere other than his lap ? He gonna pull you right there

Teases you at concerts , he goes “and to my partner who is here today did you enjoy the show ? You better , you got free tickets -you know our czennie worked hard to be here and here you are , getting free stuff ,”

Goes to his twin sister for advice or asks Johnny because “johnny Hyung must know he’s such a flirt” but Johnny might be just as clueless

Then haechan just gonna stare at him like “I came here for advice , the hell dude”

Goes to mark Lee but he’s also clueless so he just calls his mom.

Complains about not having anyone to ask for advice from because everyone else is single af and all his hyungs are like “smile through the pain , don’t kill him on camera . Just laugh along.”

Oh and another thing , he’s totally going to try his best to hide the relationship because he really wants privacy . Not that he doesn’t trust nctzens but he wouldn’t ever want you hurt by haters or sasaengs.

But it was leaked on accident when he accidentally said “yeah , my partner’s the best” on vlive and everyone just froze .

That was a short vlive . He was actually pretty stressed and panicked after that , one of the few times you’ve seen him like that so of course you have to go make sure he’s okay .

After some time he’s okay and he just laughs everything off like “lmao did I really freak out over something so simple”

Sings randomly and blesses your ears . Super extra when it’s your birthday or anniversary he’s going to get a stage or something and take the mic like “and this one is for the love of my life” and be sOOOOO extra

The dreamies finally have a way to blackmail him “if you do this , I’m telling —” but funny thing is you love him no matter what so hAhA renjUn

Makes sure he can see you in the crowd before he performs so if something happens he at least knows you’ll be there .

Cuddles you on your period and will be so serious . He takes it more seriously than you ,honestly . If you’re on your period he will literally avoid being a brat as much as he can because he doesn’t want you mad or sad .

Your shoulder to lean on . He’s very comforting .

Now whenever you feel a little nervous you spray some of his perfume on because it calms you down

Cook together and y’all either burn the food and scream while doing so or prepare some kind of Gordon Ramsay class shit , y’all don’t know ‘in between’

Late night calls when he misses you and his DEEP voice

Confident king makes sure no matter what you still feel beautiful in your skin and ensures you that you are no matter what

Does your makeup for you and practices new makeup looks on you . Then you try and do his . It becomes a competition and then after a few rounds it’s just a mess and it’s a drunk game y’all play now

Buries his face in the crook of your neck and gives you as many kisses as possible until you groan in annoyance and shove him off . Then he’ll just tease you saying he knows you love it

Loves to show his love physically and any other way possible including the way he looks at you which literally makes his eyes twinkle

“Look , I can hold the world in my hands.” “Haechan how is that-” and you just shut up when he holds your waist and gives you a peck ,“see ?”

So smooth. So god damn smooth

Feels awkward with things like love letters and love songs but will totally flirt with you using those lame pickup lines and make his own stupid ones up

Tells you all his jokes . The way he measures how funny it is is if you laugh but you just laugh at anything so he throws that system out of the way and starts focusing on how god damn cute you are when you laugh and smile no matter how weird your laugh is or how crooked your smile is

Tilts your head up for kisses and smirks and is such a flirt because he loves you so much . If a member walks in he’s gonna be embarrassed but he’ll just throw a pillow or a shoe at them .

So basically Donghyuck is a fucking ray of sunshine who loves you so much and tries so hard to be the best boyfriend but is also your best friend and he takes care of you while also knowing he can lean on you and he loves you more than anyone

Take care of him or imma steal that man for myself

Happy birthday Channie ❤️

[fandoms-equal-life]

A (kinda angry) rant about Baby Batcat in Gotham

I wrote the original rant 1am after I spoiled what happened for myself and I hadn’t even watched the episode yet (because I am so over this show I do not care about spoiling it plus I have homework) and I was really upset. Now I am caught up and fun fact, I AM STILL UPSET! But at least now I can make more sense.

Also, a couple warnings: 

1. I care about a total of 4 characters in this whole show: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Alfred Pennyworth, and Edward. Not Edward as in Nygma, Edward as in Penguin’s dog.

2. I will be the first to admit this rant is angry and full of emotion, but I stand by my points made at this time. I am very passionate about this ship (if that wasn’t obvious enough)

SO MY FRIENDS......

AFTER 4 SEASONS OF SHIPPINNG BABY BATCAT, GETTING BASICALLY NOTHING, THEN HAVING THE LOVE AND ADORATION PILED ON THIS SEASON BETWEEN THESE CHARACTERS, ONLY TO HAVE HIM ABONDON HER!! WITH A LETTER!!! LIKE WTF!! THAT IS NOT THE TYPE OF PERSON THIS BRUCE WAYNE IS!!

HE EVEN SAID GOODBYE TO GORDON IN PERSON. AND ALFRED!! BULLSHIT THAT HE WOULDN’T SAY GOODBYE TO SELINA!! (I could literally cry, I am so mad and sad because of how dirty the writers did Selina. I love her sO mUCH. FIGHT ME WRITERS)

Look....,,,, I’ve never read the comics and I’m honestly not that big of a Batman fan, but network comic book tv shows are never close to the canon of the comics. I watch almost of all the D.C. network shows and I see people complain about the canon being soooooo different, this is a WELL. KNOWN. FACT. WHICH MEANS the writers didn’t have to make Bruce leave, abandon not only Selina, the actual love of his life (as let me say it again for the people in the back THE AMOUNT OF BABY BATCAT WE GOT THIS SEASON SHOWS THE AMOUNT OF LOVE, yES LOVE, THESE TWO HAVE FOR EACH OTHER)  and Alfred, the man who fucking RAISED HIM and is currently VERY BROKEN IN PURSUIT OF PROTECTING NOT ONLY BRUCE BUT LEE, SELINA, BARBARA, AND BABY BARBARA is ridiculous and absurd.

Sure, Bruce pushed both Selina and Alfred away through the seasons, but this season??? So. Much. LOVE. For both Alfred and Selina. I have no doubt in my mind Bruce didn’t have to leave like this in the show.

The first reason is because Gotham will always need him, because it is a shitty city. CMON MAN, your parents were murdered before you even hit puberty, if Gotham needs a hero, it needed him/her a while ago.

The second reason is if Bruce needed to train more (plus the writers could easily add more trauma by killing a fly in front of this boy he’s so sensitive and soft), I feel like it wouldn’t be that hard. Not only because Gotham is a shit show of a city, Alfred, Jim, and pretty much everyone in this city have defended themselves and are trained in life and fighting.  Also like?? Take Selina with you. Bruce leaving isn’t going to protect her any more than if he’d stay in Gotham, also she could learn with you. PLUS, Selina/Catwoman is literally more badass than Bruce/Batman will ever be, she can literally protect herself.

ALSO, Selina motherfucking Kyle let Bruce motherfucking Wayne into her heart, put her guard down for him, and shared her love, and he returns the favor by doing the same for a little while, then writing a note to her??? Even though he 100% knew what that would do to her.  While I do think this Bruce Wayne is clueless and has his own weird tunnel vision, I really don’t think he is an asshole who doesn’t consider other peoples’ feelings. ESPECIALLY because he is older now. When he yelled at Selina in the hospital after Bruce stabbed Alfred, he was a scared kid. Now they are adults, not only in age, but in life considering what they have gone through in this season alone.

I am currently watching the episode and Selina VOLUENTEERED TO BRING THE BOMB TO WAYNE ENTERPRISES WITH BRUCE!! Not only as backup, but I am willing to bet THIS ENTIRE BLOG because she knew it would be incredibly hard for him to blow up one of the last remaining things his parents built. IF THAT’S NOT LOVE I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!!!

LOOK AT THAT SMILE. SAY IT WITH ME

LOVE!!!!!

ALSO ALSO,,,,,, THAT FIGHT SCENE WITH BANE!!! COUPLES WHO FIGHT TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER

It would be one thing if they didn’t pile on the love this season. If that didn’t happen, I see why he would do this. It would be another thing if, you consider the comics at all, I didn’t know that Selina and Bruce get married and have a kid (which shows that even though Bruce is Batman he still loves Selina enough to marry her and “put her in harm’s way” in his definition) BUT GUESS WHAT??? I DO KNOW THAT AND THE WRITERS DID PUT ALL THE LOVE IN.

Bruce loves Gotham, but in my opinion, they did not stress that enough, they literally only focused on his love for Selina and Alfred. So, don’t be starting this “stereotypical” Batman shit when it’s obvious that this Bruce is different from the stereotypical Batman of the comics. THEREFORE, THE BRUCE THESE WRITERS MADE HIM TO BE IN THIS SHOW IS NOT THE BRUCE WHO WOULD LEAVE SELINA, ALFRED, OR EVEN GOTHAM BEHIND!!!!

And the fact of the matter is that it would be okay if Bruce did not leave Gotham behind in the show, because that is not the Bruce these writers made him to be. What is the point to make him one way, develop his character to be one who literally runs into dangers fists armed and dangerous, only for him to run away from Gotham when they actually need him? When it is being rebuilt after all this chaos.

I know that tv shows’ goal is to make it thrilling and heart wrenching, but the show is over. And this is network television. And it is not coming back. Plus, once the third season hits the show sucks. It’s no longer about art anymore at all, it’s all about the money for Warner Brothers and the fans who are so in love with the characters that they still watch (like me bitch). So, even though I fully admit to not being a Batman fan and knowing nothing about the comics, I stand by the fact Bruce leaving is bullshit, because that is not how the writers wrote THIS BRUCE to be. I have spent the last couple months so sad this show was ending and even though I KNEW something like this would happen, I still had hoped my babies would be okay.

NOPE.

Instead I got a Jim and Lee wedding that I didn’t ask for, a baby Barbara I didn’t ask for, Tabitha, a strong female lead, being killed in the first episode that i diDN’T aSK fOR, and shitty writing that has thrown one of my favorite ships in a tv show ever in the trash where it doesn’t deserve to be.

My only hope is that the next episode we have “I will be here whenever you need me” promise be used. Because I do not think I will pass my exams if they don’t reunite and it be somewhat happy.

I am also so devasted that the last time I will ever see Camren Bicondova play Selina Kyle. THIS FRAME RIGHT HERE.

A devasted look because Bruce Wayne was an asshole and left her and Gotham behind because dumb reasons only told to her on a letter.

I read her letter to the fans and I honestly love her even more because it is so obvious she cares so deeply for her character. I’m not even that mad that she won’t be portraying her in the final episode. Thank you, Camren, for everything you gave to this character. I wish they hadn’t fucked her over so hard.

In conclusion, fuck the writers of Gotham. You are inconsistent with your characters, want so badly to be accepted by the Batman community in a comic retrospect that you throw all character development in the trash to match up with the comics ever so slightly at random times, and you made my heart break in two.

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I’m struggling to remember an article by CBR which has been worse than this one. 

Let’s go through this point by point.

  “Peter Parker’s Spider-Man is one of the most famous and beloved superheroes of all time. He has had almost a billion movies (rough estimate) and more cartoons than Mickey Mouse. ”

  So first of all even if we were obviously recognizing this as not being intended literally it’s entirely disingenuous. There have been FIVE Spider-Man movies, the sixth one being this year. Excluding crossovers, movie serials or animated films there have been six Superman movies and eight Batman movies.

  I don’t see the allegations of ‘a billion movies’ directed at them though.

  “However, while we all love Spider-Man (after all, he does whatever a spider can and that includes release pheromones that make you helplessly devoted), we’re not quite sure this particular Spider-Man should be in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

  I agree with the latter point but I’m going to place money that it’s not for the same reasons the article is going to list.

As for the former point that’s literally not part of Spider-Man’s powerset and never has been.

  “In fact, there’s an argument to be made that the movies would be a whole lot better if he just dropped dead and allowed a different Spider to take his place.”

  Yes there is an argument like that. It just happens to be idiotic and ill considered.

  “we firmly believe that Peter Parker’s Spider-Man should take a dirt nap right about now and let someone who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights. (Someone like Miles Morales, for instance.) Anyway, this one’s for YOU, true believers!”

  ‘We’? Who is this ‘we’?

  All of CBR?

  I doubt every staffer of CBR believes in this attitude.

  Or perhaps this is the royal we?

  Moving on...two.

  Spider-Man has had TWO different movie franchises to his name. The MCU version will be the third. But like I said Batman has had technically a minimum of 4. No one is complaining at least not as forcefully about him. In fact I notice nobody asking for Robert Downey Junior to shove off and allow Rhodey or somebody else become the new Iron Man even though Tony Stark has starred in 6 movies now and will continue to do so for at least 2 more. The same applies to Captain America who actually had 2 other movies before the MCU as well.

  So WHERE exactly is this rule of ‘Well look you’ve had X number of movie franchises that’s enough now’. Frankly given how Peter Parker is you know, Marvel’s mascot, the most profitable superhero ever, one of the three most famous comic book characters of all time, Stan Lee’s favourite character, and frankly THE BEST of all of Marvel’s iconic characters he is absolutely OWED more movies.

  Especially when you consider the Raimi and Webb movies didn’t get him right and screwed up various aspects of his history. Never have we seen the Death of Gwen Stacy done right. Never have we seen Mary Jane or Venom done right. Nor Green Goblin. And how about all those iconic Spider-Man stories which were landmarks in the comic book industry?

  The Master Planner Trilogy

  The Death of Jean DeWolff

  Nothing Can Stop the Juggernaut

    We’ve only had 5 Spider-Man movies and 1.5 of those retold material from the first 3. None of them went beyond Spider-Man’s college adventures when that is nowhere near the entirety of the character’s journey.

  But we want to throw him away for...a derivative version who whilst maybe good unto themselves is objectively not as original nor as actually layered as a character.

  Yes, this surely is ‘for us true beleivers’.

  And you know SOMEHOW I just knew I’d hear Miles’ name brought up. And brought up first. I do ever so wonder if literally ANY other Spider-Heroes will get a mention.

  Oh and learn to spell check will you. I’m not perfect but I don’t write for a professional website that pays me.

  Seriously

  “who hasn’t had three different franchise series into his big webbed tights.”

  This is laughably bad sentence construction. I don’t even know what I’m reading.

  15)

  “Let’s face it, there aren’t a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man. His villains? Sure, but Spidey himself? He’s unlucky in love, his uncle dies, everyone he knows is actually a villain. That’s pretty much it. ”

  Okay so in these few sentences you’ve proven that

  a)   You don’t know anything about Spider-Man

b)   You are thereby unqualified to be writing this article about Spider-Man

c)   You are an idiot.

  And you see I know all this because nobody who does know anything about Spider-Man, who is thereby qualified to write an article like this about Spider-Man and isn’t an idiot would have ever written that.

  Because there are 50+ years of fucking stories across two ongoing universes which prove that you are wrong.

  Jesus Christ.

  There are a ton of stories to tell about Spider-Man’s villains more than Spider-Man? Yeah, because we all remember those plethora of stories about Electro, Scorpion, Shocker and Mysterio right?

  They’re soooooo interesting.

  Jackass most of Spider-Man’s villains are gimmick characters with cool costumes. Oh he has deep villains like Norman Osborn and Doc Ock and a few others. But Shocker shoots vibrations, Electro electrocutes things, the Rhino literally up until the 2009 was a rampaging brick. They are not Batman’s villains.  Some of them have layers but they are not the psychologist’s wet dream like Batman’s rogue’s gallery.

  You’d know that if you’d actually read much Spider-Man, which I’m betting you have not.

  Similarly you’d know there is much more to Spider-Man than you pathetically oversimplified things down to.

  He’s unlucky in love? Yeah because dating the teen secretary to a millionaire media mogul when you are in high school, having the most popular girl in school wanting to date you, dating the daughter of a respected police captain, a thrill seeking reforming cat burglar and actually marrying someone who’s not only very attractive to you, not only an actress/model but also has your back in a crisis is sooooooooo unlucky right? As is dating all those other people he’s been with.

  Everyone he knows is actually a villain? Yeah...no. Harry Osborn, Norman Osborn, Frederick Foswell, Felicia Hardy and arguably Jameson are more or less it. Nobody else he knows is actually a villain. Or do you know something about Aunt May and Mary Jane that we do not?

  And franlly...not a lot of stories to tell?

  Uh huh.

  The death of Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man vs. Wolverine, When Commeth the Commuter, the Wedding arc, the Death of Jean DeWolff, the Clone Saga, the Totem saga, the Master Planner Trilogy, Spider-Man No More, the Owl/Octopus War, the Alien Costume Saga and literally too many others for me to list disagree with you...and also call you an idiot who doesn’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

  “You can tell an origin story and a pretty good villain story, but after that you’re left treading water. What can you do next?”

  I dunno maybe you could examine the realistic pressures of living with the burden of being a superhero and have him decide to give up that burden only to reaffirm the lesson he had previously learned and then choose to risk it all for the sake of emotional fulfilment by being with the woman he loves?

  And then perhaps getting arrogant over his apparent successes and letting power go to his head corrupting him into something he isn’t until he reasserts who he truly should be and then has to deal with the ramifications of his actions in the manifested form of a dark reflection of himself?

  OR maybe you could have him learn that sometimes using his power to try and save people isn’t enough because someone he cares about dies inspite of his actions and then he has to go through a realistic human grieving process?

  I figure MAYBE those could be sound premises for movies other than his origin story.

  Maybe?

    “Well, you can kill him.”

  This is the laziest and most unimaginative idea for a Spider-Man movie I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing. And I’ve heard the idea that Spider-Man has sex with mary Jane on top of a bridge.

  “See, Spider-Man’s best stories of the last few years have been when he died — most notably in Amazing Spider-Man #700 and in Ultimate Spider-Man #150”

  Again...you don’t know anything about Spider-Man and/or are an incredibly pathetic literary analyst.

  Because if you weren’t either of those things you’d have noted how godaweful and just plain asinine Superior was and how mean spirited ASM #700 were. You are talking about a storyline which literally only happened because Spider-Man was so stupid that he didn’t try telling the Avengers his mind had been switched with Doc Ock.

  That is if you’ve actually bothered to read the stories. I’m not convinced you have though.

  “They’re powerful stories that show Peter is true to his word, and that he knows with great power does come great responsibility… no matter what.”

  Maybe the USM story is powerful (and poorly built up) but ASM #700 isn’t. Especially when you consider that Peter DIDN’T die in the story. He’s literally alive in his body in Superior Spider-Man #1.

  14)

  We really do not need Miles at all.

  Miles Morales was created less than 10 years ago and has been the subject of decompressed 4+ part stories including multiple crossovers and events.

  What does this mean?

  It means long term there is entirely too little material about Miles to justify him being Spider-Man long term and what little material there is not movieworthy.

  To begin with almost half his history is tied up in events which cannot by their nature function as solo Spider-Man movies due to the presence of other characters and elements that do not pertain to Spider-Man’s core concept.

  Or do you think it’d make for a positively thrilling Spider-Man movie to see him run around trying to stop Galactus (who Marvel don’t own) before a giant Kitty pryde (who Marvel don’t own) knocks him out?

  All of Miles’ OTHER stories are equally unsuitable for film as Spider-Man stories.

  He works as an agent of SHIELD? Spider-Man is about being a normal guy who happens to be a hero so no spy shit shouldn’t be in a movie.

  His mother dies because of Venom? Yay, let’s fridge another woman (and a woman of colour to boot) in a story decision that even the original writer regretted and reversed just three years later.

  Oh! He could fight Captain America in another Civil War. Oh wait we just did that movie.

  HEY how about having his origin story again?

  Audiences will just eat up ANOTHER movie about a smart teenager who gets bitten by a science spider, gains super powers, doesn’t use them when he can resulting in someone dying, feeling guilty about it and then deciding to be a superhero.

  I mean they just LOVED seeing that for the second time in 10 years so surely they’d love seeing it for the third time in 15.

  On top of all that hey genius, MILES IS A TEENAGER!

  There exists ZERO stories about his life beyond his teens which means you have NOTHING to base a movie upon when the actor soon enough ages beyond the point where he’s a teenager. With Peter Parker though you have stories of him as a high schooler, college student, grad student, young man leaving education and a married adult.

  “Look, we love Peter, you love Peter, but we need Miles Morales. It’s a different world out there than when we were kids, a world which has six different Peter Parker movies with a seventh one on the way.”

  Yes it is a different world. We have 8 Batman movies now as opposed to the 5 from 20 years ago.

  And if you mean it’s a different world in regards to something to do with race, putting aside how you know...there are still a lot of white people around...just cast Peter Parker with a poc actor!

  That’d be cool and keeps the awesome iconic character of Spider-Man rather than the less developed, less original, has less stories to tell version of Spider-Man.

    “Peter Parker is cool and all, but we’re pretty sure most audience members would be fine if he had less movies than Harry Potter. ”

  I see...you’ve compiled a comprehensive survey about this have you?

  A survey which suggests that mass audiances who’ve been used to Peter Parker being Spider-Man for 50 years would be okay with this other character being Spider-Man whom they no little-nothing about.

  Okay.

  “Miles, honestly, is just a bit more interesting than Peter. His first reaction wasn’t, “Oh joy, Spider Powers!” it was, “Oh no…” He has a different background, different friends, and a different story — one we haven’t seen on-screen almost 10 times. Give Miles a shot, gang.”

  Fuck. You.

  No seriously.

  A character who is scared by his new powers is more interesting than one who decides to use them for personal gain whilst neglecting the good he can do, learns his lesson the hard way and carries that guilt forward into his life driving him to be a hero?

  Jackass your saying 1950s DC characters’ origins are more interesting than the 1960s Marvel characters’ origins which are MORE REALISTIC!

  Peter Parker had flaws to his character more serious than Miles’ and took more time to get past. Miles is a good kid who does the right thing relatively quickly.

  Peter wasn’t, even when he decided to do the right thing he tripped, stumbled had to get passed his personal issues and grow as a person. He wasn’t immediately great at being a superhero, he ran away crying in his very first issue after a super villain fight. He was hated and hounded by the press and police.

  He had to provide for his famiy in the absence of his father figure who’s death he had a hand in. And on top of that had to deal with unpopularity at school and life generally taking a crap on him.

  Oh...but he’s ‘just not as interesting’ as the kid who had little-none of that to deal with.

  I’m not even saying Miles sucks or hasn’t got a lot of merit.

  But fuck you no, he is absolutely not as interesting as Peter Parker was.

  As for his different background and different friends guess what genius you haven’t seen that for Peter either. You’ve never seen Flash Thompson or Joe Robertson done properly. You’ve seen only the briefest of glimpses into Jameson. You’ve never seen MJ done right, Jean DeWolff or anything like that.

  And again...you saw SOME of Spider-Man’s supporting cast in a mere 5 movies which repeated beats from one another which didn’t cover even a 10th of Spider-Man’s wider history.

    13)

“Heck, the comics have already killed him and brought him back a bunch of times! Ultimate Spider-Man was the first series to make a thing of it and it’s the series that Spider-Man: Homecoming most resembles. ”

  Again...you clearly no sweet fuck all about Spider-Man.

  a)      If you knew anything about Spider-Man including the Miles Morales version you would know that Holland’s Spider-Man most closely resembles him not Ultimate Peter Parker

b)      Spider-Man died and came back multiple times in the 616 universe long before Ultimate ever did it

  “But while he’s dead, we can explore a different and cooler Spider-Man; one we haven’t seen before.”

  See above as to why Miles isn’t cooler and why you are unqualified to write this article.

    “ But the point is that the comics have killed Peter Parker off before and it worked out wonderfully…”

  Yeah like remember that wonderful outcome where a super villain was Spider-Man and tried to rape Mary jane for a whole issue. WONDERFUL!

  12)

  “We might be belaboring the point here (we can already hear you typing your Facebook comments now), but Peter Parker has been the star of two different trilogies in the span of 10 years (though one was mercifully cut short). ”

    ‘Two different trilogies’? Up top you said three. Whch is it.

  But whilst we’re belabouring points see above about the hypocrisy of using this argument given the number of films OTHER characters have had.

  Also learn some mathematics. If a films eries lasts for TWO movies it’s objectively not a TRILOGY!

  “There’s no shortage of Peter Parker content out there. Plus, he’s not like Batman where there’s a bunch of interesting characters for him to play off of. ”

  I’m sensing a Batfan who doesn’t know much about Spider-Man is writing this.

  Regardless Mary Jane Watson, J. Jonah Jameson, Joe Robertson, Jean DeWolff, Flash Thompson, George Stacy, Betty Brant, Liz Allan, Ben Urich, Felicia Hardy, Harry Osborn, Randy Robertson, and Norman Osborn (i.e. the best supporting cast of all comic books ever) grossly disagree with you about there being no ‘interesting characters for him to play off of’.

  “There’s basically just Spider-Man and his enemies…”

    *facepalms so hard it shatters skull*

  As if I needed more confirmation.

  Hey asshole? Even people who don’t READ Spider-Man know his life involves his normal people supporting cast waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than his super villains who’re egregiously less important. THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT MADE HIM POPULAR IN THE FIRST PLACE!

  “and all those girls he’s too poor and/or nerdy and/or too devoted to his aunt to date.”

  Yeah like Betty Brant, Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy, Deb Whitman, Mary Jane, Carlie Cooper, Lian Tang and so on.

  He NEVER dated any of them because he was too poor, too nerdy and too devoted to his aunt...who set him up to date one of them.

  FFS

  11) 

  “Hey, you know what makes audiences think twice? When you kill off a main character. Remember Phil Coulson’s death back during The Avengers? It was amazing, it was shocking, it was memorable, and it’s a big part of why that movie was better than a lot of other MCU movies — because it had actual stakes. We all genuinely cared about Phil Coulson, as we watched him in all of the different movies.

  In the same way, we all genuinely love Peter Parker, and seeing him — especially such a young and hopeful him — dying on-screen would be super devastating and prove that the stakes are real in the MCU. None of the heroes have fallen yet — the closest has been Rhodey getting his back hurt — but at some point one of them is going to have to — why not the one you’d least expect, and the one you might love the most?”

  Killing off for cheap shock value and not because it makes sense for the character is a lowly form of writing...also Coulson came back genius.

  And if you want this to happen then surely killing off Steve Rogers who also has a black person as his legacy, has had legacies before, had a better death storyline, is a bigger deal to the universe at large and has lived a longer life thus making it less cruel for him to be struck down as a child, would make a million times more sense than Spider-Man dying.

  10)

  “Peter Parker is more or less regarded as the heart of the Marvel Universe. He’s the youngest, the one most down on his luck, and the one who sacrifices the most to be a hero.”

  Yeah...Peter Parker is the youngest hero. As we all know Richard Ryder, Kamala Khan and every Young Avenger ever is older than Spider-Man.

  And as we all know he’s the most down on his luck. Daredevil who’s girlfriends have a history of you know...dying looks at Spider-Man and saying “Well at least I’m not THAT guy. He has to worry about his mother’s health. I don’t have to do that because my mother left me to be raised by my Dad whilst she worked as a nun and never sees me.”

  “He is the most heroic of all of the heroes in the Marvel Universe and nothing would prove that better than to show him sacrificing himself. Being the true hero.”

  We already know how heroic he is and know that he’d give his life to save others. We don’t need him to die to prove that. See Iron man in Avengers Asemble. And you know fucking Quicksilver who already proved stakes are real!

  “What would work better to establish him as the beating heart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe than to show that — above everyone else — he is the guy to make the sacrifice play. With all of those others standing so tall, he could stand as the true embodiment of what it means to be a hero. In fact, killing him would show just how much of a hero he always was.”

  Again..see Iron Man in Avengers Assemble. And Bruce Banner in Incredible Hulk who wasn’t risking his mortality perhaps but he was willingly condemning himself to a fate worse than death by becoming the Hulk again. It’s established he’d rather be dead than be the Hulk, but he still chose to become a monster again and ruin his life in order to save lives.

  Oh and Captain America in First Avenger and Winter Soldier. He was willing to sacrifice himself in the first movie for the greater good and in the second movie it was just to save his BFF.

  In fact just see Captain America. In the MCU it’s debatable whether he or Iron Man are the heart of the universe, but Cap is objectively the most heroic.

  And you want self sacrifice...dude...Cap was literally a soldier...in World War II.

  Spider-Man in the MCU isn’t a hero to that degree yet. In-universe arguably he isn’t that degree of hero yet. Perhaps nobody could top Cap in that regard.

    9)

  “When Phil Coulson died, it was a rallying call for the Avengers to get back together and take the fight to Loki and help save New York. It was pretty cool but if the Avengers are going to come back together after being so heavily divided, then it’s going to take something big. Maybe something like the youngest Avenger, the one all of them met for a short time, dying in battle.”

  So we’re going to kill off Spider-Man not for the sake of his story but for the sake of the wider Marvel Universe thereby reducing him to a prop.

  Charming.

  Putting that aside this is so stupid because Thor and Hulk don’t even know he exists whilst all other Avengers except for Iron Man don’t know him personally at all. It’d just be some kid who died which is sad to them I guess. Half the team saw him as an enemy anyway.

  When Coulson died he was at least on speaking terms with like half the team. He had some sort of relationship with them.

  Spidey in the MCU currently does not...at all.

  There is more justification for them to be affected by Quicksilver’s death!

  “Maybe then the heroes will realize that something needs to be done and the Avengers will… well, you know… Avenge! Spider-Man’s death could be a call for the Avengers to become bigger and greater and cooler than they’ve ever been — and as we know, the Avengers got their name from avenging Phil… why not continue the tradition and avenge Spider-Man?”

  How would Spider-Man’s death motivating the Avengers somehow make them ‘cooler’?

  And they should probably not continue the tradition by Avenging Spider-Man because it’s cheap and makes Spider-Man’s death more about the Avengers rather than about him. Especially when you consider Spider-Man is about being a normal down to Earth guy. But the global threat fighting taskforce that is the Avengers are going to be motivated by some Goblin nutter offing him?

  Or perhaps you mean it’d be appropriate for Spider-Man to die at the hands of a cosmic threat like Thanos even though that’s well outside the remit for his character’s core coneption and theme.

  8)

  “Unfortunately there are a lot of issues that go against our entirely cool plan to kill the Spider”

  Your plan isn’t entirely cool. Merely entirely foolish.

  “such as Tom Holland saying he has plans that he’s put forth to keep playing Spider-Man until the character is in his thirties. To wrap your head around that, the Spider-Man in Captain America: Civil War is about 15 years old. Holland wants to play this character for 20 freaking years.”

  So Tom Holland wants to respect the Spider-Man character and do his story justice by showing him grow and mature into his adulthood which is what Stan Lee his creator and architect of the entire Marvel universe intended and what eventually happened in the comics leading to some of the best Spider-Man stories ever such as the Death of Jean DeWolff.

  What an asshole I guess.

  “So, unfortunately, it seems like Spider-Man — as Peter Parker — isn’t going anywhere for a very long time indeed.”

  Oh no what a shame. Peter Parker who IS Spider-Man, the original, the genuine article, the best one in fact, will remain Spider-Man.

  Man...this is almost as bad as when I heard Clark Kent would be Superman.

  7)

  “It would be like introducing Hank Pym only to have him immediately… oh wait, that actually happened.”

  I don’t even know what your saying here. Hank Pym didn’t die in Ant Man.

  “nyway, what we’re saying is that grabbing the rights to Peter Parker for the MCU is one of their biggest scoops of recent years — Guardians of the Galaxy big ”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  ‘Guardians of the Galaxy big?

  What planet are you living on? Guardians of the Galaxy made a lot of money and was a smash hit. Guardians though wasn’t even as big in the movie business as the FIRST Avengers movie.

  Peter being in the MCU is an almost UNPRECEDENTED working relationship between two competing film companies, especially when one of them is Disney.

  It’s grossly a bigger deal than Guardians, hence news coverage went nuts when it happened moreso than when Guardians happened.

        6)

“Yes, okay, while Peter Parker is incredibly prolific across every single form of media, there’s a pretty fair reason for that. The dude is popular. He’s one of the best-selling comic characters (arguably the best selling) of all time. He’s basically a license to print money, and while Miles Morales is pretty awesome and super popular in his own right, he’s not Peter Parker popular. Yet.”

  And he never will be.

  Peter Parker as Spider-Man is a 50+ year institution.

  You say he’s prolific because he’s popular.

  But he’s popular because he’s a GREAT character.

  Great in ways that Miles, whilst good unto himself, is mostly derivative of.

  “While it might be a great creative move, when it comes to money, Peter Parker’s the safe bet. (Which would probably amuse the permanently poor character to no end.)”

  Spider-Man isn’t permanently poor. Putting aside stupid stints like Parker Industries or when Mary Jane was raking in the cash as a supermodel, Peter has had periods of time where he is merely financially stable as opposed to poor.

  He wasn’t even really ‘poor’ in Ultimate Spider-Man which I’m guessing is the only source of Spider-Man you have that much familiarity with.

  And for many reasons stated above, Peter isn’t the best choice creatively. And it because of that that he’s not the best decision financially.

  Creatively Peter has 50 years of history to draw on to make great movies out of. Creatively Miles has less than 10 and not even all of that would be conductive for a movie.

  5)

  “While this is arguably the most controversial argument, it’s also incredibly true. Marvel has a bit of a white-dude-as-lead problem. As in, all of their movies thus far have had a white dude main character. Sure, Black Panther is coming later but, look, if there was another version of Black Panther that was a white dude… let’s just say Marvel most likely would have gone for that version.”

  First of all I’m shocked to learn CBR has this massive insight into Kevin Feige’s mindset that they know for a fact they’d make amovie out of the Caucasian Black Panther if he existed.

  But hey...here is a thought. Maybe...just maybe...the reason Marvel’s movies have had white leads thus far is because in the source material they base the movies on...the characters are ALSO white?????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Look...I’m not saying you should always keep a character white if they were in the cource material, but from a branding point of view and a fan point of view (of which Feige is known to be) it makes a shitton of sense that Marvel would want the characters to visually speaking look like they leapt off the page as much as possible.

  So no...Marvel wouldn’t have used the Caucasian Black Panther if they could have, they would’ve used the African Black Panther because Black Panther is in fact someone from the African continent.

  Same way they made kept Gamora green and Nebula blue because int eh comics they are effing green and effing blue!

  Again, racebending is okay under the right circumstances and Spider-Man was one of those circumstances.

  But saying Marvel are determined to have as many white leads as possible is despicably idiotic and judgemental.

  “Heck, Ant Man and Wasp is going to be the first movie to have a woman even co-headline! While Marvel makes good movies, they’re also a bit regressive. Suddenly making a movie about a young mixed race kid whose uncle is a thief seems like a bit of an inauspicious start for the company. Give them time, and Miles will appear onscreen. Eventually.”

  The same applies here.

  Marvel makes movies based upon the source material they have and the most successful source material at that, or at least the one which serves their purposes the most.

  And unfortunately most of their big characters in the source material are white males.

  Does this mean they shouldn’t do female led movies? No of course not.

  Should they have done them before now?

  Maybe in the case of Black Widow but otherwise from a practical POV probably not.

  MCU Phase 1 was designed to get us to the Avengers and do so as quickly as possible. To that end they did movies based upon the biggest Avengers characters, the real icons.

  Cap, Iron Man and Thor are the trinity of the Avengers. Hulk is however the most famous classic Avenger in all pop culture so he had to be in there.

  Hence Phase 1 was movies about those guys leading into Avengers.

  Phase 2 consequently comprised ONLY sequels to those movies in order to as quickly as possible follow up to the smash hit that was the first Avengers film. The ONLY exceptions to those sequels were Ant Man and Guardians of the Galaxy, both of which were made primarily for PRACTICAL purposes more than anything else.

  Ant Man had been in development since around the time of the first Iron Man movie so there was a huge financial incentive to just get it finished and out the goddam door.

  Guardians meanwhile existed for the EXACT SAME reason Iron man 2 existed, that is to say set up things for the future. Iron Man 2 primarily existed to set up Avengers whereas Guardians existed to set up the cosmic side of the Marvel universe thereby giving the MCU more potential films whilst also setting up Infinity War by explaining who the Hell that guy from the post credits scene of Avengers was and what these Infinity Stones actually are.

  Guardians was a movie they HAD to make more than anything.

    So we have 2 necesarry movies and then sequels to the established stuff. Could they have done a Black Widow movie? Maybe but at that point in time there was no indication that there was enough interest in Black Widow to do that and they were already taking a humungous risk on Guardians and to a lesser extent Ant Man.

  Black Widow got popular to the point where EVERYONE was demanding she get a movie after Winter Soldier, that film came out in 2014 with phase 2 scheduled to end the very next year meaning they literally had no time to give Black Widow her own movie before Phase 2 was done.

  Could they do it now? Sure, but they are also doing a male/female co-lead movie as well as their own female led movie in Captain Marvel.

  Could they have done Captain Marvel earlier. Not really no. Carol Danvers hadn’t yet reached her current point of popularity circa the Phase 1 movies and more poignantly she was nowhere near the same level of popular, iconic or a surething as a movie as the Phase 1 characters were, let alone being necessary.

Hulk was the most famous character followed by Cap. Cap along with Iron Man and Thor are THE iconic Avengers, you can’t do a movie without them.

  Beyond Carol though all their big female solo heroes do not have the same degree of popularity as other male heroes. Spider Woman and She Hulk are nowhere near as popular as Spider-Man and Hulk so if you are making a billion dollar financial investment in a superhero movie you’re not going to go for the former in favour of the latter, not initially anyway. NOW though we’re in a better position to do that.

  Phase 1 had to lay the ground work, Phase 2 had to solidify things and not rock the boat too much, now in Phase 3 the MCU’s place in pop culture isn’t a one hit wonder or five minutes of fame. It is now in a position to be bolder in making different types of movies.

  My point. There are legitimate practical reasons as to why Marvel hasn’t yet made a female led movie but we are NOW in a position to make it happen.

  4)

“Kevin Feige — the dad of the Marvel Cinematic Universe — has said that Marvel Studios has a clear plan for where Spider-Man’s going to go: and it’s to college. He’s said that he wants to make the Spider-Man movies work similarly to the Harry Potter movies, where each one documents one year of Peter Parker at school. And Feige has said he wants to do at least seven of them, carrying Peter Parker all the way through high school and almost all of the way through college. While Tom Holland’s enthusiasm makes the prospect of Miles Morales appearing as the prime Spider-Man a bit dubious, Feige’s claims make the prospect pretty much dead. Maybe he’ll change his mind, but until then, get ready for years of Peter Parker. Years!”

  How dare Kevin Feige wish for Spider-Man to go through the same iconic character arc from the comics which made him popular. And how dare he enter the status quo in which he gained pop culture stardom.

  Dropping the sarcasm though this sounds utterly fucking awesome and the correct approach to Spider-Man.

  3)

  “One problem with replacing Spider-Man is the fact that it hasn’t happened yet — ever. There haven’t been any legacy characters yet, so introducing the idea with Spider-Man would be a bit of an odd step. It would make more sense to have Bucky take over Captain America or War Machine take over as Iron Man. These characters are already set up and their legacies make a bunch of sense.”

  Jackass ANT MAN IS A LEGACY!

  “Once Steve Rogers or Tony Stark aren’t the men behind their respective masks, the idea of Miles becoming the Ultimate Spider-Man would be a lot more palatable for somewhat squeamish audiences.”

  Yu realize Feige has stated he’d rather recast Tony Stark than reboot the MCu right?

  I doubt we’re gonna get to the point where Tony and probably Steve get legacied.

  2)

  “You know what comic books are great for? Advertising. Each comic basically works as an advertisement for all of the toys and movies and video games. That’s how Marvel actually makes all that sweet money from these characters. The money they get from the comics isn’t shabby, but it’s mostly a really well-written commercial.”

    Holy crap you really don’t know anything do you?

  First of all the comic money is pitiful. It’s chump change in the grand scheme of things.

  But more importantly the comics AREN’T COMMERCIALS FOR THE MERCHANDISE!

  An issue of Spider-Man is read by at best 100,000 people per month, most of whom are older people who’re less inclined towards buying merchandise. And they are mainly sold through speciality comic book shops which aren’t on the mass goddam market.

  This means the comics DOESN’T PROMOTE THE MERCHANDISE THE MERCHANDISE PROMOTES THE COMICS!

  How the Hell do you not know that seriously! Whenever a movie comes out the comics contort to be like the movies because they know they’ll get a sales bump from it, not because they think the few 100,000 tops people going to speciality stores and are older people who’ve been reading for decades might be swayed to watch the movie that’s been advertised in trailers and posters everywhere they go in their daily lives!

  “Thinking of comics that way, you can see which products that Marvel values highest: and the winner is Peter Parker, who stars in (at last count) three books, with cameos in many more. As for Miles Morales? He has his own and an occasional crossover. ”

  *facepalm*

  FIRST of all Miles appears regularly in Champions and before that he was regularly appearing in All New All Different Avengers and before that he was regularly appearing in All-New Ultimates.

  And what is this ‘occassional crossover’ crap?

Spider-Men

Divided We Fall

United We Stand

Cataclysm

Secret Wars

Civil War II

Miles had tie-ins to ALL of those crossovers and appeared in many of them. In fact he had VITAL roles in the last three I listed.

  1)

  Wow. I’m shocked because I found nothing objectionable in this final entry on this list.

  In summation.

  This was laughable and the author should be ashamed of the pathetic levels of ignorance and lack of research evident in this article (for lack of a better word).

  I am appalled that the author was paid actual money to make this garbage list.