#fuck psychiatrist
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*has several debilitating disorders* idk maybe i'm just lazy
#cancelled my psychiatrist appt because i just couldn't get up and i felt i couldn't face her#she's probably mad with me now :/ she already talked to me about missing appointments but i just couldn't do it today#i fucking suck lol im disappointed in myself. my depression has gotten really bad lately which is all the more reason to talk to her but.#idk i've kind of given up also. i stopped therapy months ago. i dont think she was gonna really help me anyway tbh
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Some more Jay and Tim from my role swap Au, wooden beetles :33
#marble hornets#tim wright#jay merrick#Wooden Beetles#It’s ship art if you squint#But I mean#Tim just cares too much in this Au#Yeah we gotta focus on the investigation but holy shit dude have you seen a doctor or psychiatrist yet? Did you drink water and eat too????#Jay is not used to the care being shown here and he’s also 50x more insufferable but he’s also really helpful in deciphering code so fuck i#We ball!#Jam if you squint..#I’ll tag#jam marble hornets#anyway
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girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time
#futaba sakura#persona 5#p5r#p5#fanart#futabadoodles#chat i am SO losing it#went to get diagnosed w adhd wasnt diagnosed because and i quote “it could be anxiety” omfg#neurotypical psychiatrists especially white ones die in a hole 🥰#also because i “wasnt struggling enough”#like hi so i have this thing called emotional intelligence a good support system and access to coping skills hope that helps!#god forbid a neurodivergent person has tools to manage their condition and isnt in hell everyday i guess!#hate her ass!!!!!!!#i wasnt looking to get diagnosed for medication or support bc i already use a lot of like adhd specific supports and shit#and w accommodations my anxiety diagnosis can cover what i need for the most part so it was rlly just a validation/confirmation thing#like idk yeah. i am managing. im not particularly struggling. because ive been selfdx for a while and have implemented changes in my life#and i happen to be in a very very good place rn and im very lucky. so like. ???#rlly felt like “you have all the symptoms but youre not struggling enough with anything to be able to diagnose ypu” ok thanks fuck you#cuz ppl w adhd can manage being unmedicated by choice i js wasnt officially diagnosed before i guess its deemed “okay” to not live in hell!#dunno im frustrated. i have difficulties but i manage them well and i am very lucky to live an easy life for now so like 😭??
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day 345
soooo guess who has ADHD
the state of Nebraska and its arcane policies have once again laid me low
#day 345#year 5#it me#now dont get me wrong. i am Very Very Psyched to have these meds on board.#but i am also. just a wee bit salty. that i could potentially have had them on board for the last NINE YEARS if this psychiatrist had like#simply used a little critical thinking about the assessment technique she was using#but also she looked at me and didnt figure out i was autistic so like theres only so much that can be done for her i think#anyway even though it is pretty rough you can tell im medicated because i did a Fucking Twelve Panel Comic
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if you are over the age of 26 and bring this to a psychiatrist you will leave with an autism diagnosis btw
#life hack for the autistic girlies who can’t afford to get tested just to have a psychiatrist invalidate them and make assumptions based on#stereotypes: just bring in the phoodles#for legal reasons this is a joke#not the dig at the fucked up mess that is diagnosing autism and also healthcare in general but that’s a different post#anyway this post is#/j but also as someone with a psych degree and who is currently in a mental health counseling masters program that is my actual#semi-professional interpretation of this lmao#/lh#disclaimer not armchair diagnosing a stranger#i don’t ever make posts like this because ethical obligation not to armchair diagnose but DAN ASKED ME TO#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#yeet my deet#yeet my deenp#danandphilgames#d&p#might delete this because i have a fear that any post of mine i don’t want them to see will end up in a fucking phan twitter vid#dip and pip#dnp described
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socialising
stand straight, two feet on ground
smile, bare your teeth (not too much)
fangs hidden in plain sight
your claws in fists, don't let them see
(don't let them know)
wings folded behind your back, so tight
always look them in the eye,
and let them look into yours (ignore the pain)
hide your scales under your clothes
and use words that don't belong in your mouth
do they know?
can they see what is hidden?
a beast with stolen skin
a monster in human shape
#<- had to go to the psychiatrist and didnt want to socialise that day#anyways this is a fucking mess but i had to get it out of my chest so. enjoy?#to clarify nothing bad happened. just had to socialise (crying sobbing throwing up)#whispers of the dragon#dragonkin#endermankin#otherkin#nonhuman#vent poem#i guess#poetry#my writings
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guess who finally got a diagnosis after 13 fucking years of wondering what the hell was wrong with me!!
#bpd + bipolar gang#on the first consultation too. man my previous psychiatrists were all fucking useless#dante.txt
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Drunkenly insisted he come over, changed his mind 5min from my apartment, ghosts me for a week. I lightheartedly called him out for not rescheduling getting drinks and catching up that he suggested, so he reschedules. He makes heavy handed moves on me all night until he fucks me. Immediately says it was a mistake and promptly leaves without looking at me until he says goodbye. 2 weeks and nothing has been said. He then texts me, no hey how are you, asking if I'd been tested. Was like pulling teeth getting out of him that he'd been experiencing symptoms and suspects trich. I was tested after we slept together last time and was good, but to ease his anxiety I say I'll get tested again. I send him my results 2 days later. He purposefully miscommunicates and says "I'm all good". I voice that while I appreciate him wanting to let me know, that it caused me anxiety and he could've just waited until he knew for sure. He says he misspoke and hasn't actually gotten his results back and assume all clear since we both were negative previously (huh?!). Almost a full week goes by and he finally gets his negative results and sends me only the trich results. I rightfully ask if he got the full panel or just a test for trich. He sends me all the results, but only bc I asked. I reiterate that he could've just waited for the results to tell me because it stressed me out.
He finally admits that someone he slept shortly before me (unclear when) tested positive and he wanted to be on the safe side. I'm not in the mood for a fight so I just said ok that makes more sense.
Like I'm so fucking tired. He's such a fucking manipulative liar with serious communication and emotional immaturity issues. I literally do not give a fuck that you sleep with other people, just don't fucking lie and manipulate me holy shit. And the audacity to get defensive when I neutrally tell you how this whole thing made me feel instead of being passive and soft about it, is fucking WILD. Like I just know he's painted me as the crazy girl in his head because I call him out on his hypocritical and manipulative bullshit even in a neutral way. Like if you had just been honest from the fucking start I wouldn't have to match your fuckass attitude omfg
#like theres so much to unpack here#its unbelievable#i keep joking with my friends that hes both medically and non-medicallt peer reviewed as needing professional help for being a douchebag#my psychiatrist the other day agreed he needs serious therapy and that he was being very insensitive and unkind and a terrible friend#ao now my therapist my psychiatrist my social worker friend my social worker in training friend (still in school) and many other friends#all agree on this as well#like..... statistically speaking its incredibly unlikely that SO many people are wrong and have been “manipulated” to think this way by me#lololol like bro WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ACT LIKE THAT#GROW UUUUP OMG
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Sometimes you just need to cry while your partner holds you <3
Proshippers/adjacent dni. 100000 shark attack 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈 also Zooble self ship doubles dni
#self ship community#self ship#f/o x s/i#safeship#safeshipping#safeship community#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc zooble#tadc self ship#🔺️🍥 Plastiscene 🐶🌈#anyway hi guess who had a really bad mental breakdown yesterday 👍#I staryed this last night but was so exhausted I couldn't finish it#it's just a quick thing I did to comfort myself after all of that#Wafflez has a bad habit of bottling up their emotions#< just like me (they are me lol)#it's a bad habit of mine but in my situation I don't really have a choice but to do it#my family has made it clear they don't have any intentions of learning about my mental illness#< And they don't understand my feelings or trauma at all#and my therapist refuses to diagnose me eith anything or give me proper treatment#AND there isn't a psychiatrist anywhere out here who will see me#so basically I'm just kind of fucked lol#I like to imagine Zooble would let me release all of it#they'd let me be open and honest about everything I struggle with#and they'd let me yell about how unfair it is that so many people have hurt me and gotten away with it#they wouldn't make me feel bad or stupid for feeling my emotions ''the wrong way''#I lovr them so much and I wish they were real <3#didn't mean to say that muchin the tags sorry lol
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Horny aroaces exist. And for me, it’s frustrating. Since I feel no sexual attraction and don’t really know how to masturbate without feeling like I have to pee, I try to fantasize about sex be g forced on me because I can’t fathom initiating the horny myself. Basically, the only way I would actually fuck is if it were a fuck or die situation. I’m sex positive aroace. I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction. I have to consciously initiate sexual desire in myself, and I’ve done so for years thinking it’s the only way I’ll be normal. I read all the dub/noncon Bill Cipher x Reader fics in AO3 and Tumblr just to feel a little bit of desire. And any time I try to initiate desire and sexual feelings, I feel like I have to pee and it’s uncomfortable. Also, hypnosis. Anything to do with hypnosis does it. And it feels so uncomfortable that o try to force myself to like it.
#asexual#aromantic#aroace#ugh#triple a battery#considering seeing a sex therapist#especially since I once thought I was a zoophile at one point#ugh I’ll tell that really disturbing story at some point#it’s really uncomfortable#not a zoophile#fuck zoophiles#I look like someone who has mental health issues#I scheduled my psychiatrist appointment today at least#i’m not okay#and that’s okay#prefer platonic affection#like platonic cuddling
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one of the reasons i hate generative AI is that i have a chronic injury that makes me unable to write by hand for longer than a few sentences and therefore i need a keyboard in order to write essays for classes, and i’m a bit worried that professors won’t allow me to type essays as a result of potential AI use, even though i have a perfectly valid medical reason to need a keyboard. i’ve seen a few posts online saying that the only way to prevent students from relying on AI is to make them write by hand, and while i understand the sentiment and don’t even necessarily disagree with the general point, the matter of accessibility still needs to be addressed somehow, and it’s just a bit frustrating on a personal level as someone who has had to fight with teachers and professors in order for my needs to be met even before the era of chatgpt
#this is just me expressing my frustration please don’t take it as a big political statement#or as me saying that ai will forever end disability accommodations. bc that’s not true. i’m just frustrated and concerned#i don’t even have actual medical documentation anymore so i’ve just been going off the good graces of my professors in the past few years#so don’t come into my replies saying ‘you’ll be fine you have a medical excuse’ because i’ve had to deal with way too many instances of#my medical excuses (well-documented or otherwise) not being enough#never gonna get over last spring bringing in a letter from my psychiatrist that blatantly said ‘kai needs this specific accommodation’#and then going in to meet with accessibility services at my school to have them say ‘we can’t give you this accommodation we need#more documentation’ dawg what the fuck else do you need ??? my psychiatrist isn’t enough ????#yeehaws
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Most of the "professional" cluster b personality disorder diagnoses basically boil down to this:
"do you believe in love and loving?"
"Yes" slaps BPD or HPD on you
"No" slaps ASPD or NPD on you
#My diagnosis was a different one before i told my psychiatrist about something like this lmao fuck y'all#cluster b#actuallyaspd#actuallynpd#aspd#npd#bpd#hpd
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would I get killed if I made a 80s-90s AU where Nikto gets dropped off at a mental ward because his husband, that he got arranged married to, saying he couldn’t deal with Nikto’s issues anymore saying he’s a lost cause and wasn’t worth the trouble with all his scars and all his mental issues.
and Nikto, he, he just breaks. he’s crying and screaming to the nurses to let him out or questioning where his husband it for months on months before falling silent, because it finally sets in his head that he’s not going to be picked up and perhaps he was never loved or now, deem too hard to be so he just stares obsessively at his mirror, wasting himself to death, short rests and no longer eating or drinking without being forced.
perhaps reader is a fellow patient dropped off at the wards and maybe they somehow bonded in silence as Nikto wastes away in the last few years they had left and was the only who granted Nikto’s wish to die and granting him that mercy and the fic ends with reader being taken away for their murder.
Oh well we all have a chance of being killed but you won't get killed by me ☺️☺️
#IM FUCKING CHEWING ON HIM HE'S MY PERSONAL BUBBLE GUM NOW 😖😖😖#now imagine him with psychiatrist reader that just yanks him right out#taking the scraps for yourself#whats that bbg you feel unwanted?#is that a free husband for me?#yes that is#cod#call of duty#hcs#nikto#asks#from my beloved 🤭
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me if skin picking was illegal
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The best way to understand tumblr's strain of antipsychiatry is the many, many times I have seen Freud quotes tagged antipsych
#i dont think there are more than 20 or 30 people on this website who have actually read any anti psychiatry literature#bc literally all the antipsych posts on here i see were critiques of psychiatry BY psychiatrists from the fucking early 1900s#when your definition of anti psychiatry is less radical than freuds you need to not be calling yourself that#not that im anti psychiatry. i like the theory and find it interesting#but it's just something that informs my practice of psychology#bc a lot of the critiques are valid and can be worked into practice. theres a good preprint article i read that basically fixed one#of the big critiques of psychiatry too i can send it to anyone whos interested
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NORMALIZE VOICING HOW HOPELESS LIFE FEELS WITHOUT FEAR OF INSTITUTIONALIZATION
#angry#therapy#therapist#therapists#mental health#mental illness#vent#rant#psychiatry#fuck it I'm tagging all of it#psychiatrist#depression#dysthymia#agoraphobia#avoidant personality disorder#personal vent#emotional neglect#anxious avoidant#I actually really really like my therapist but I just Can't Open Up about how painful life really is#psychology#normalize acknowledging reality#psych ward#actually mentally ill#mentally exhausted#major depressive disorder#mental instability#mental hospital#learned hopelessness
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