#I scheduled my psychiatrist appointment today at least

[spaceumbredoggos]

Horny aroaces exist. And for me, it’s frustrating. Since I feel no sexual attraction and don’t really know how to masturbate without feeling like I have to pee, I try to fantasize about sex be g forced on me because I can’t fathom initiating the horny myself. Basically, the only way I would actually fuck is if it were a fuck or die situation. I’m sex positive aroace. I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction. I have to consciously initiate sexual desire in myself, and I’ve done so for years thinking it’s the only way I’ll be normal. I read all the dub/noncon Bill Cipher x Reader fics in AO3 and Tumblr just to feel a little bit of desire. And any time I try to initiate desire and sexual feelings, I feel like I have to pee and it’s uncomfortable. Also, hypnosis. Anything to do with hypnosis does it. And it feels so uncomfortable that o try to force myself to like it.

[copperbadge]

Sam, how did you find your therapist and build such a good working relationship? Every attempt I’ve made at therapy seems to fizzle out after a few months… and no therapist has ever understood the RSD aspect of my ADHD, which makes it all feel a little worse every time I try.

I mean, I think really we're still building it -- I haven't had her more than a couple of months and functionally it's been an every-two-weeks situation most of the time because we keep having to move/cancel. I don't know that I can really speak intelligently to building a relationship with a therapist because this is the first time I've ever done it where I was an adult and in control. As for finding one...

Chicago has a group called Clarity Clinic, which is like a WeWork for mental health professionals -- they offer scheduling, billing, and IT/office space to local people who I think are mostly independent operators otherwise. They have a directory that is highly filterable, so I found my psychiatrist there by filtering to stuff like Adult ADHD and medication management. He's great, but he didn't want to be my therapist and I didn't want him to. When I decided on therapy, I asked him if he knew anyone he could recommend, since he knew what my deal was in terms of personality, behavior, etc.

So he gave me a couple of names of fellow Clarity Clinic folks and I had a look on the website and chose the one that sounded like she'd get on best with me. I think I struck it lucky to be honest -- she's young (compared to me) and has ADHD, and she's very familiar with disability discourse, spoon theory, etc, even fandom to an extent. If I were to go looking today I might look more at therapists who specialize in twice-exceptional individuals, but she's good enough with what I'm aiming at that I don't want to change.

So the best advice I have is if you're being treated for other stuff by someone you trust I'd ask them, but also look for someone experienced with adult ADHD, and I'd look for someone on the younger side who's more likely to be understanding of neurodivergent needs. (I also recommend filtering to queer-friendly therapists if you can; I didn't necessarily need that but it means they're likely to be generally accepting and probably have more liberal politics. With the caveat that in shady places like BetterHealth, "LGBTQIA" counselors are sometimes homophobic creeps with an axe to grind.)

Building the relationship has taken proactivity on my part -- ensuring that I always have an appointment on the books (we book out about six weeks in advance now, because we know one of us will likely need to cancel/rebook at times), making sure that I have either an aim for treatment or at least something to talk about, etc. I think in your case probably having a list of things you want to deal with, so that you can check some boxes up top, might help.

I would definitely open with "I have ADHD and I need help with [aspects of that]; I also have RSD and I need to work with someone who respects that diagnosis and understands how to help with it." I went into mine saying "I have ADHD and I'm also struggling with some really big emotion, so I'm looking for help with those, but also like...I'm not really sure what therapy can offer. I've had some bad experiences in the past but they were all when I was a child, so I'm trying to explore some options." Her reaction was a combination of sympathy and a discussion of the kinds of things we might work on, which helped a great deal.

But yeah, I think it starts with establishing right from the jump what you want and need, and then spending time making sure that you both stay on top of that until you find a rhythm. We're still finding our rhythm, but it's getting easier as I'm learning to be clearer about what I want and more comfortable with being a participant instead of someone therapy just happens to.

[canary0]

May 24 - Dracula 2023

Content Warning: mental health treatment, mental hospitals, schizophrenia

Dr. Seward's notes - recorded via phone audio

Reduced appetite, sleep disruptions, and loss of interest in things that I enjoyed before. As a clinician, I know I really shouldn’t try to apply diagnoses to myself – we all observe ourselves with our own self-perception and internal narrative. Still, I can’t think to call this anything but depression over my rejection earlier. Not unusual, so I already know the best distraction for me is work until it passes. Fortunately, my appointment schedule is usually very full – finding enough qualified psychiatrists for the hospital has been a challenge. Probably not a good time to dwell on that.

I have a particular interest in one of my patients with whom I had an appointment today. His situation is unusual, so I’m doing my best to understand him as well as I can. His form of delusion is fairly uncommon, more well documented in the past than now.

I’m realizing that I may have been too intense about it – more interested in putting together a case study that helping him reach a point of being able to live a normal life. Normally I focus on the latter, and I’d avoid keeping them in a steady state like the mouth of hell itself. Omnia Romæ venalia sunt - “Hell has its price,” after all.

But with him having gone untreated as long as he has, it’s also very important to understand how exactly his delusion works and what his specific situation is to develop a medication and treatment plan. So, let me take down what I know at the current time (with permission):

R. M. Renfield, age 59. He’s very outgoing and active, generally with a positive, or at least excitable mindset. He’s very strong, inclined to physical activity. He’s prone to unpredictable periods of depression which tend to end in getting a very fixed idea about something. He takes particularly to causes, it seems like, and is difficult to deter once he decides one is indeed a cause. He went untreated and was cared for privately since his 20s before he was brought in after injuring the pet of someone he knew. He hasn’t had any visitors since he arrived. Lack of connections may make his treatment more difficult. His only serious physical issue at the moment is high blood pressure, which is common for men of his age, so we’re at least going to get him started on amlodipine while we figure out the rest. I’ll speak with the psychopharmacologist, but his age makes me a little concerned about using antipsychotics. We may start one at a low dose and see how he responds. As far as therapy goes, observation hasn’t revealed much in terms of stronger or weaker moments in his delusions, so we may end up having to work within that framework to improve quality of life for now.

Quincey Morris to Arthur Holmwood

Via SMS

Quincey: We’ve told stories by the fire, dressed each other’s wounds, and made toasts on the shores of Titicaca. I think it’s time for more of the former and latter, don’t you think? My campfire has a spot for you, and I happen to know a certain lady is busy with a dinner party tomorrow night, so she’ll be otherwise occupied.

Arthur: Naturally. Count me in every time. Is anyone else coming?

Quincey: Our friend from that time in Korea, Jack Seward. It’s time to drown our sorrows as we toast to the good fortune of the happiest man in the world.

Arthur: You’re not wrong about that.

Quincey: Of course I’m not! And you’ve earned it, along with the best heard in the world.

Arthur: I’ll be sure to be there. Besides, I have some news you’ll both want to here.

Quincey: Excellent! See you then.

(A/N: Although in the book Renfield was observed with schizophrenia from a normal age of onset, I suspect he must have avoided treatment for quite a while under modern care to be in his current state. I’m always hesitant to address severe mental health difficulties in my fiction, because I don’t want to give the impression that I think some ableist shit.

I’m going to be open here to that end and state that any depiction here is going to be informed by my own experience with depression with psychosis and having gone with it largely untreated for a long time. It no longer presents those symptoms for me, thankfully, but I’m empathetic to the experience of having them.

So while Renfield and his treatment is certainly a potentially spicy subject, I’m gonna do my best to present it and his treatment in the best way I can. Seward wasn’t depicted as incompetent for his time (as bad as the methods of his time were), so his modern treatment methods shouldn’t be incompetent. I consulted with a mental health professional about this entry so... hopefully it's okay.

Thank god for Quincey and Arthur also talking today. @_@)

[uncloseted]

How do I ask my doctors office to refer me to a therapist? I looked online but there's only so many who come up with my insurance, would they be able to help me find one easier? What do I even tell them? Thanks so much.

I'm not sure your doctor's office is actually the best person to ask, at least if you're in the US. Doctor's offices can make referrals to psychiatrists, who are medical doctors, and if you're looking for a psychiatrist, you may need your doctor to do that in order for insurance to cover it. But they may or may not have knowledge of the therapists that are in the area or what insurances they take. If you want to try getting a referral through your doctor's office, call the office and just tell them that you'd like to speak with your primary care doctor about a referral. They'll be able to put you in touch with your doctor or walk you through the process of getting a referral. They don't necessarily need to know what the referral is for or what problems you're looking for help with.

My suggestion would be to use the Psychology Today or American Psychological Association's psychologist locator. These let you filter by the type of insurance you have, what problems you're looking for help with, and other preferences you might have like your therapist's gender, religion, sexuality, and languages that they speak. Each therapist has a profile where they have a photo of themselves, list their qualifications, talk about their approach to therapy, and give you an easy way to contact them. Reading these profiles can help you narrow down your options and find a therapist who you think you might "click" with. From there, I would cross-check the list of therapists you're interested in contacting with your insurance's list of therapists to make sure that they're actually in-network for you.

When you contact the therapist, you can say something like:

"Hello! I am interested in beginning therapy, and was wondering if you are currently accepting new patients. If so, I would like to schedule a consultation to see if we would be a good fit. I was referred to you through my insurance provider, [name]. I am looking for help with [a sentence about your problems]. Please let me know next steps. I can be contacted at [your email address and phone number]. Thank you!" The therapist's office will then contact you to schedule an initial consultation, usually a 15 minute phone call or Zoom, where you can get a feel for the therapist and figure out if they're right for you.

If the back-and-forth of scheduling a therapy session stresses you out, you can try ZocDoc, which shows you the appointments each therapist has available and lets you schedule them without talking to anyone. Not all therapists are on there, but it's a really handy tool for those who are. I personally use it for everything because I know I will forget to follow up otherwise.

The last thing I'll say is that you may need to try a few therapists before you find one that you like, and that's totally normal. Try not to get discouraged if you see a few that you don't connect with. The most important thing in therapy is the relationship that you have with your therapist, so it's worth it to shop around a little bit to find one you really like and trust.

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday: How ya holding up?

TGIWednesday News 📰

That was the question my brother's MD shrink 👨🏻‍⚕️ asked me in early 1993 after my brother had a 10-minute $185 medication adjustment consult visit. 💊 None of us knew that my brother would overdose 3 weeks later. 💔  I had to smile through the answer to his psychiatrist if only to be polite. Which reminds me to ask, "How are you doing?  After my birthday, Mercury Retrograde and a full moon, it's been dicey to say the least.  But it reminds me of a great Steve Winwood song lyric saying, "...you gotta roll with it baby." 🧻🎲🙃 Relationships can be challenging to say the least and every day in prayers I am finding my way through communications finding grace and ease, getting us out of any chaos or drama and asking Spirit 😇 for any and all positive guides, angels and whispers of guidance so that I can more efficiently contribute to others.  When you live this way there is never a dull moment.  Oh that reminds me, if your relationships are awesome between you and your partner, family, friends, relatives and co-workers I want to hear about it 😉 AND you won't need to join us for this Thursday's LIVE Zoom meeting all about relationships, of course for the rest of us, I will see you there!   PS. Have a good laugh with this one... here's my sweet little "Mystic Fish" kitty campaigning in 2024! 😻  

ON DECK 🚢 This Thursday August 29th - Join us for our Monthly Zoom all about Relationships!  Limited seating, sign up here.!

September    Aligning With Your Cosmic Financing Flow. An astounding new Audio MP3 due out in the Fall, different from the others.. we're calling it "a spiritual re-alignment". And just like it sounds, it can transform and reinvigorate your current financial status, and perhaps catapult you into the wave and frequency of wealth, abundance for good!

Get on my schedule today and let's get you back on course!  🧭 🎣 View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download ▶️

 ~ BEING AT PEACE WITH RELATIONSHIPS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be at peace with any and all relationships regardless of length of time or current status now. I am ready, willing and able to mend energetic relationship fences where I can and to let go of old grudges and resentments allowing peace to fill the holes. I know, when, where how and why to bury the ethereal relationship hatchet and to leave the past in the past, so that my future's so bright I've gotta wear shades. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is know that making a little daily progress could cause the rest of your life to be the best of your life. ▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

Tomorrow's LIVE  Zoom Event 💻

Our Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life monthly Zoom series has been outstanding!  Did you miss one? Get the replays below. Call #1 - Body Clearings - Download replay Call #2 - Mind Clearings - Download replay Call #3 - Spiritual Clearings - Download replay Call # 4 - Relationship clearings (Register below) next up... Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

TOMORROW AUGUST 29, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Registration fee = $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7w-relationships

Call #4 Theme:  Relationship Clearings: Past/Present/Future We're basically house plants requiring air and water just with more complicated feelings and relationships!   Even if you consider yourself a loner type, human beings are all about relationships, family and we're part of the fishing tribe. Often relationships from our family and loved ones from our past haunt us and negatively affect our current ones, so it is vital to clear and recalibrate ourselves. 

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, Submit your Top 3 words/statements in the format below by Wed. the 28th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

1) Clearing out past relationships ie: Release me from past relationships and their negative, lingering, traumatic effects that haunt me like:______ (poor treatment from mom or dad, siblings, teacher, authorities, friends - including abuse, mistreatment, injustice, betrayal, gaslighting, and narcissism)

2) Clearing out present relationships ie: Release me from the ill effects of ______ (a horrible/unfair boss, fair weather friends, a cheating spouse, children who are acting out, parents' disappointment, relationship burdens, addictions)

3) Clearing the energy of future relationships ie: Release me from the fear of/or help me create ___ (I'll never find great love, that I'll get hurt by love, future pain of losing loved ones/a child, create a greater relationship with money, with nature, create a space for humans to live in harmony and care for the planet and future generations.)

During this call #4, we'll clear relationships off all kinds ...and if your relationship with family, children, pets, work/job/career and your past are flawless, that is wonderful! Please write to me, I'd love to hear about that too.  For the rest of us you'll want to join our gathering and let's co-create some profound changes together!    

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box 📧

    Hi Jimmy,  Thank you for the great sessions. This was the real deal. I really felt comfortable and felt that my aura was cleared and felt the positive results.  I really liked it and I also have recommended your great services to close friends and relatives. It's a real blessing to be healed by Jimmy and I will be booking another session soon and will be practicing his teachings. I felt the progress in business  in health, felt that positive energy flow, this is all so amazing. I'm happy to have purchased Jimmy's products and thank God for such a great opportunity!  Looking forward to more sessions and support from Jimmy!" - Best Regards, Z

The Fish Market 🎧⬇️

 🎣 Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

💸 The Prosperity Collection  🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

Shop Here Now

Fish Food 😇📣

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

AUGUST 28TH "Today I will ignore the obvious flakes and ask for a sign from spirit what to work on within myself so that I can have more faith in my own personal outcomes and triumphs I will stick with the tried, the true, the traditional, just for today and I will be guided to better outcomes."

FREE Live Appearances 🎙️

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy🙏

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here 

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center 🖥️ "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny🤣

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Jimmy Mack ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Appointments | FAQs View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 min www.jimmymackhealing.com Free Resources: Learn MLF for FREE | Videos on YouTube | Radio Show Archives Advanced Training: Masterclasses | Mastery and Practitioner Certification Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday: How ya holding up?

TGIWednesday News 📰

That was the question my brother's MD shrink 👨🏻‍⚕️ asked me in early 1993 after my brother had a 10-minute $185 medication adjustment consult visit. 💊 None of us knew that my brother would overdose 3 weeks later. 💔  I had to smile through the answer to his psychiatrist if only to be polite. Which reminds me to ask, "How are you doing?  After my birthday, Mercury Retrograde and a full moon, it's been dicey to say the least.  But it reminds me of a great Steve Winwood song lyric saying, "...you gotta roll with it baby." 🧻🎲🙃 Relationships can be challenging to say the least and every day in prayers I am finding my way through communications finding grace and ease, getting us out of any chaos or drama and asking Spirit 😇 for any and all positive guides, angels and whispers of guidance so that I can more efficiently contribute to others.  When you live this way there is never a dull moment.  Oh that reminds me, if your relationships are awesome between you and your partner, family, friends, relatives and co-workers I want to hear about it 😉 AND you won't need to join us for this Thursday's LIVE Zoom meeting all about relationships, of course for the rest of us, I will see you there!   PS. Have a good laugh with this one... here's my sweet little "Mystic Fish" kitty campaigning in 2024! 😻  

ON DECK 🚢 This Thursday August 29th - Join us for our Monthly Zoom all about Relationships!  Limited seating, sign up here.!

September    Aligning With Your Cosmic Financing Flow. An astounding new Audio MP3 due out in the Fall, different from the others.. we're calling it "a spiritual re-alignment". And just like it sounds, it can transform and reinvigorate your current financial status, and perhaps catapult you into the wave and frequency of wealth, abundance for good!

Get on my schedule today and let's get you back on course!  🧭 🎣 View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download ▶️

 ~ BEING AT PEACE WITH RELATIONSHIPS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be at peace with any and all relationships regardless of length of time or current status now. I am ready, willing and able to mend energetic relationship fences where I can and to let go of old grudges and resentments allowing peace to fill the holes. I know, when, where how and why to bury the ethereal relationship hatchet and to leave the past in the past, so that my future's so bright I've gotta wear shades. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is know that making a little daily progress could cause the rest of your life to be the best of your life. ▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

Tomorrow's LIVE  Zoom Event 💻

Our Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life monthly Zoom series has been outstanding!  Did you miss one? Get the replays below. Call #1 - Body Clearings - Download replay Call #2 - Mind Clearings - Download replay Call #3 - Spiritual Clearings - Download replay Call # 4 - Relationship clearings (Register below) next up... Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

TOMORROW AUGUST 29, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Registration fee = $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7w-relationships

Call #4 Theme:  Relationship Clearings: Past/Present/Future We're basically house plants requiring air and water just with more complicated feelings and relationships!   Even if you consider yourself a loner type, human beings are all about relationships, family and we're part of the fishing tribe. Often relationships from our family and loved ones from our past haunt us and negatively affect our current ones, so it is vital to clear and recalibrate ourselves. 

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, Submit your Top 3 words/statements in the format below by Wed. the 28th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

1) Clearing out past relationships ie: Release me from past relationships and their negative, lingering, traumatic effects that haunt me like:______ (poor treatment from mom or dad, siblings, teacher, authorities, friends - including abuse, mistreatment, injustice, betrayal, gaslighting, and narcissism)

2) Clearing out present relationships ie: Release me from the ill effects of ______ (a horrible/unfair boss, fair weather friends, a cheating spouse, children who are acting out, parents' disappointment, relationship burdens, addictions)

3) Clearing the energy of future relationships ie: Release me from the fear of/or help me create ___ (I'll never find great love, that I'll get hurt by love, future pain of losing loved ones/a child, create a greater relationship with money, with nature, create a space for humans to live in harmony and care for the planet and future generations.)

During this call #4, we'll clear relationships off all kinds ...and if your relationship with family, children, pets, work/job/career and your past are flawless, that is wonderful! Please write to me, I'd love to hear about that too.  For the rest of us you'll want to join our gathering and let's co-create some profound changes together!    

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box 📧

    Hi Jimmy,  Thank you for the great sessions. This was the real deal. I really felt comfortable and felt that my aura was cleared and felt the positive results.  I really liked it and I also have recommended your great services to close friends and relatives. It's a real blessing to be healed by Jimmy and I will be booking another session soon and will be practicing his teachings. I felt the progress in business  in health, felt that positive energy flow, this is all so amazing. I'm happy to have purchased Jimmy's products and thank God for such a great opportunity!  Looking forward to more sessions and support from Jimmy!" - Best Regards, Z

The Fish Market 🎧⬇️

 🎣 Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

💸 The Prosperity Collection  🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

Shop Here Now

Fish Food 😇📣

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

AUGUST 28TH "Today I will ignore the obvious flakes and ask for a sign from spirit what to work on within myself so that I can have more faith in my own personal outcomes and triumphs I will stick with the tried, the true, the traditional, just for today and I will be guided to better outcomes."

FREE Live Appearances 🎙️

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy🙏

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here 

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center 🖥️ "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny🤣

Share

Tweet

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Jimmy Mack ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Appointments | FAQs View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 min www.jimmymackhealing.com Free Resources: Learn MLF for FREE | Videos on YouTube | Radio Show Archives Advanced Training: Masterclasses | Mastery and Practitioner Certification Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday: How ya holding up?

TGIWednesday News 📰

That was the question my brother's MD shrink 👨🏻‍⚕️ asked me in early 1993 after my brother had a 10-minute $185 medication adjustment consult visit. 💊 None of us knew that my brother would overdose 3 weeks later. 💔  I had to smile through the answer to his psychiatrist if only to be polite. Which reminds me to ask, "How are you doing?  After my birthday, Mercury Retrograde and a full moon, it's been dicey to say the least.  But it reminds me of a great Steve Winwood song lyric saying, "...you gotta roll with it baby." 🧻🎲🙃 Relationships can be challenging to say the least and every day in prayers I am finding my way through communications finding grace and ease, getting us out of any chaos or drama and asking Spirit 😇 for any and all positive guides, angels and whispers of guidance so that I can more efficiently contribute to others.  When you live this way there is never a dull moment.  Oh that reminds me, if your relationships are awesome between you and your partner, family, friends, relatives and co-workers I want to hear about it 😉 AND you won't need to join us for this Thursday's LIVE Zoom meeting all about relationships, of course for the rest of us, I will see you there!   PS. Have a good laugh with this one... here's my sweet little "Mystic Fish" kitty campaigning in 2024! 😻  

ON DECK 🚢 This Thursday August 29th - Join us for our Monthly Zoom all about Relationships!  Limited seating, sign up here.!

September    Aligning With Your Cosmic Financing Flow. An astounding new Audio MP3 due out in the Fall, different from the others.. we're calling it "a spiritual re-alignment". And just like it sounds, it can transform and reinvigorate your current financial status, and perhaps catapult you into the wave and frequency of wealth, abundance for good!

Get on my schedule today and let's get you back on course!  🧭 🎣 View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download ▶️

 ~ BEING AT PEACE WITH RELATIONSHIPS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be at peace with any and all relationships regardless of length of time or current status now. I am ready, willing and able to mend energetic relationship fences where I can and to let go of old grudges and resentments allowing peace to fill the holes. I know, when, where how and why to bury the ethereal relationship hatchet and to leave the past in the past, so that my future's so bright I've gotta wear shades. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is know that making a little daily progress could cause the rest of your life to be the best of your life. ▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

Tomorrow's LIVE  Zoom Event 💻

Our Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life monthly Zoom series has been outstanding!  Did you miss one? Get the replays below. Call #1 - Body Clearings - Download replay Call #2 - Mind Clearings - Download replay Call #3 - Spiritual Clearings - Download replay Call # 4 - Relationship clearings (Register below) next up... Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

TOMORROW AUGUST 29, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Registration fee = $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7w-relationships

Call #4 Theme:  Relationship Clearings: Past/Present/Future We're basically house plants requiring air and water just with more complicated feelings and relationships!   Even if you consider yourself a loner type, human beings are all about relationships, family and we're part of the fishing tribe. Often relationships from our family and loved ones from our past haunt us and negatively affect our current ones, so it is vital to clear and recalibrate ourselves. 

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, Submit your Top 3 words/statements in the format below by Wed. the 28th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

1) Clearing out past relationships ie: Release me from past relationships and their negative, lingering, traumatic effects that haunt me like:______ (poor treatment from mom or dad, siblings, teacher, authorities, friends - including abuse, mistreatment, injustice, betrayal, gaslighting, and narcissism)

2) Clearing out present relationships ie: Release me from the ill effects of ______ (a horrible/unfair boss, fair weather friends, a cheating spouse, children who are acting out, parents' disappointment, relationship burdens, addictions)

3) Clearing the energy of future relationships ie: Release me from the fear of/or help me create ___ (I'll never find great love, that I'll get hurt by love, future pain of losing loved ones/a child, create a greater relationship with money, with nature, create a space for humans to live in harmony and care for the planet and future generations.)

During this call #4, we'll clear relationships off all kinds ...and if your relationship with family, children, pets, work/job/career and your past are flawless, that is wonderful! Please write to me, I'd love to hear about that too.  For the rest of us you'll want to join our gathering and let's co-create some profound changes together!    

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box 📧

    Hi Jimmy,  Thank you for the great sessions. This was the real deal. I really felt comfortable and felt that my aura was cleared and felt the positive results.  I really liked it and I also have recommended your great services to close friends and relatives. It's a real blessing to be healed by Jimmy and I will be booking another session soon and will be practicing his teachings. I felt the progress in business  in health, felt that positive energy flow, this is all so amazing. I'm happy to have purchased Jimmy's products and thank God for such a great opportunity!  Looking forward to more sessions and support from Jimmy!" - Best Regards, Z

The Fish Market 🎧⬇️

 🎣 Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

💸 The Prosperity Collection  🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

Shop Here Now

Fish Food 😇📣

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

AUGUST 28TH "Today I will ignore the obvious flakes and ask for a sign from spirit what to work on within myself so that I can have more faith in my own personal outcomes and triumphs I will stick with the tried, the true, the traditional, just for today and I will be guided to better outcomes."

FREE Live Appearances 🎙️

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy🙏

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here 

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center 🖥️ "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny🤣

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Jimmy Mack ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Appointments | FAQs View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 min www.jimmymackhealing.com Free Resources: Learn MLF for FREE | Videos on YouTube | Radio Show Archives Advanced Training: Masterclasses | Mastery and Practitioner Certification Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday: How ya holding up?

TGIWednesday News 📰

That was the question my brother's MD shrink 👨🏻‍⚕️ asked me in early 1993 after my brother had a 10-minute $185 medication adjustment consult visit. 💊 None of us knew that my brother would overdose 3 weeks later. 💔  I had to smile through the answer to his psychiatrist if only to be polite. Which reminds me to ask, "How are you doing?  After my birthday, Mercury Retrograde and a full moon, it's been dicey to say the least.  But it reminds me of a great Steve Winwood song lyric saying, "...you gotta roll with it baby." 🧻🎲🙃 Relationships can be challenging to say the least and every day in prayers I am finding my way through communications finding grace and ease, getting us out of any chaos or drama and asking Spirit 😇 for any and all positive guides, angels and whispers of guidance so that I can more efficiently contribute to others.  When you live this way there is never a dull moment.  Oh that reminds me, if your relationships are awesome between you and your partner, family, friends, relatives and co-workers I want to hear about it 😉 AND you won't need to join us for this Thursday's LIVE Zoom meeting all about relationships, of course for the rest of us, I will see you there!   PS. Have a good laugh with this one... here's my sweet little "Mystic Fish" kitty campaigning in 2024! 😻  

ON DECK 🚢 This Thursday August 29th - Join us for our Monthly Zoom all about Relationships!  Limited seating, sign up here.!

September    Aligning With Your Cosmic Financing Flow. An astounding new Audio MP3 due out in the Fall, different from the others.. we're calling it "a spiritual re-alignment". And just like it sounds, it can transform and reinvigorate your current financial status, and perhaps catapult you into the wave and frequency of wealth, abundance for good!

Get on my schedule today and let's get you back on course!  🧭 🎣 View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

TGIWednesday Video Download ▶️

 ~ BEING AT PEACE WITH RELATIONSHIPS ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be at peace with any and all relationships regardless of length of time or current status now. I am ready, willing and able to mend energetic relationship fences where I can and to let go of old grudges and resentments allowing peace to fill the holes. I know, when, where how and why to bury the ethereal relationship hatchet and to leave the past in the past, so that my future's so bright I've gotta wear shades. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is know that making a little daily progress could cause the rest of your life to be the best of your life. ▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

Tomorrow's LIVE  Zoom Event 💻

Our Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life monthly Zoom series has been outstanding!  Did you miss one? Get the replays below. Call #1 - Body Clearings - Download replay Call #2 - Mind Clearings - Download replay Call #3 - Spiritual Clearings - Download replay Call # 4 - Relationship clearings (Register below) next up... Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

TOMORROW AUGUST 29, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Registration fee = $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7w-relationships

Call #4 Theme:  Relationship Clearings: Past/Present/Future We're basically house plants requiring air and water just with more complicated feelings and relationships!   Even if you consider yourself a loner type, human beings are all about relationships, family and we're part of the fishing tribe. Often relationships from our family and loved ones from our past haunt us and negatively affect our current ones, so it is vital to clear and recalibrate ourselves. 

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, Submit your Top 3 words/statements in the format below by Wed. the 28th to support@jimmymackhealing.com  Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

1) Clearing out past relationships ie: Release me from past relationships and their negative, lingering, traumatic effects that haunt me like:______ (poor treatment from mom or dad, siblings, teacher, authorities, friends - including abuse, mistreatment, injustice, betrayal, gaslighting, and narcissism)

2) Clearing out present relationships ie: Release me from the ill effects of ______ (a horrible/unfair boss, fair weather friends, a cheating spouse, children who are acting out, parents' disappointment, relationship burdens, addictions)

3) Clearing the energy of future relationships ie: Release me from the fear of/or help me create ___ (I'll never find great love, that I'll get hurt by love, future pain of losing loved ones/a child, create a greater relationship with money, with nature, create a space for humans to live in harmony and care for the planet and future generations.)

During this call #4, we'll clear relationships off all kinds ...and if your relationship with family, children, pets, work/job/career and your past are flawless, that is wonderful! Please write to me, I'd love to hear about that too.  For the rest of us you'll want to join our gathering and let's co-create some profound changes together!    

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box 📧

    Hi Jimmy,  Thank you for the great sessions. This was the real deal. I really felt comfortable and felt that my aura was cleared and felt the positive results.  I really liked it and I also have recommended your great services to close friends and relatives. It's a real blessing to be healed by Jimmy and I will be booking another session soon and will be practicing his teachings. I felt the progress in business  in health, felt that positive energy flow, this is all so amazing. I'm happy to have purchased Jimmy's products and thank God for such a great opportunity!  Looking forward to more sessions and support from Jimmy!" - Best Regards, Z

The Fish Market 🎧⬇️

 🎣 Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

💸 The Prosperity Collection  🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

Shop Here Now

Fish Food 😇📣

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

AUGUST 28TH "Today I will ignore the obvious flakes and ask for a sign from spirit what to work on within myself so that I can have more faith in my own personal outcomes and triumphs I will stick with the tried, the true, the traditional, just for today and I will be guided to better outcomes."

FREE Live Appearances 🎙️

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy🙏

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here 

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center 🖥️ "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny🤣

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Appointments | FAQs View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 min www.jimmymackhealing.com Free Resources: Learn MLF for FREE | Videos on YouTube | Radio Show Archives Advanced Training: Masterclasses | Mastery and Practitioner Certification Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[sunnisurrealism]

Hi everyone I just want to give an update on my well-being. Today I realized I didn’t send in a consent form to BC Pharmacare and that’s why my coverage wasn’t working, but I called, they told me what to do, and I found the form. This is good because my psychiatrist said i their was an error. So now there shouldn’t be any issues with me obtaining Person With Disability Status and the following monthly stipend and health care benefits.

I am coming to boundless realizations and I am going through a rage mode. I am quite sure I have severe adhd but I have not been assessed. Every single day is an immense struggle of being organized. I have a billion thoughts that I cannot simply get out without feeling like I have to write a whole series of books. Thus, my state is endless restlessness. I feel like Paul, but I know I’m not alone in my destiny like he kinda is. Don’t worry I’ll delete this later. Im not genuinely pissed at anyone in particular, for that would be pointless. I understand that my secret fans know I am a kind person at heart. Quite deeply. Sometimes I need to vent. It’s just that, I can’t afford to not express myself in fear of upsetting my secret fan(s) you Timothée because they cannot help me. Once I have more money and not chronic financial insecurity I won’t be constantly so on edge. I wish my adhd didn’t get in the way so much, and I wish I could go on meds for it but I can’t cuz I’m bipolar. Please never expect anything from me except mail on our birthdays. I cannot stand the pressure and it greatly impedes on my ability to function, which make it no point. I’m not pissed at you Timmy at all you are literally a baby Angel boi. I’m sad MB stopped replying but I’m assuming it was to protect me against my own manic uncontrollable thoughts and tendencies. I respect trust and understand. I’m mostly pissed I have no schedule in my life, which I will work on once I get back from my next trip to Victoria job I see the psychiatrist again. I’m pissed my life is neverending chasing appointments and the beaurocratic system of the government. I often wish I had my own personal assistant to help me because I am so so so overwhelmed I just end up ruminating my life away and failing to eat.

I know the real core of my issue, which is quite obviously, desperation for contact with My Dearest Love Felix. I constantly feel like I’m drowning in an ocean of jaded confusion without him. I’m annoyed when he doesn’t show up in my dreams when I’ve tried. I’m so god damn annoyed that I don’t know the real him and contextually speaking what his sexuality is like. I don’t know if there is hurt feelings or guilt but from that Coldplay song I assumed there was. I am really sorry, but also know I haven’t done anything wrong. it’s painful beyond comprehension in my little brain not knowing what in him is happening. I know though that he conceptually understand that he needs to be my rock, even from afar. Because my disillusionment levels are higher due to not knowing him and im not PR trained to become famous. This sounds so savage but I really really really need him to be stronger than me. At least in this way this story is gender normy. I definitely have a savior complex with him, although during May I saw myself as his Angel savior because he had been waiting so long. Sometimes Chani comforts Paul and Paul Chani. 🧜🏻‍♂️

The more that my secret fans help to accelerate collective transcendence in the name of social surrealist level global compassion IMMEDIATELY STARTING NOW. I don’t think all of us are taking this seriously enough… The more they lift the burden off me in the future. I know this sounds self-centered, but I am fully committed to the biggest dream theoretically possible on earth which if overcoming all systems of oppression. Not only because of the potential rewards, but also because it is what my heart genuinely wants to do when I become famous. Lots of hella people already align with this dream for humanity, I would say everyone actually. But we have to take it so so so much further if we are to address the climate change and i sustainability problem. And it also is the secret key to the mating crisis because emotional intelligence characteristics are evolutionarily advantageous 🌺this path of humanity expanding empathy is extremely obvious, it has always has been and forever will be. Those who don’t align just have broken hearts, which is another reason for the acceleration of compassion. The way thru is not going to change. It’s just the story of humanity.

I do not understand what is happening in the empathetic telepathy / quantum entanglement thing, but it was never going to always be good. At least it’s interesting 🍿

[auroras-void]

Hmnn if you ever feel bad about not sleeping well, and you've really tried hard but nothing sticks. My personal story is I've had terrible insomnia starting in like middle school at least all the way until I was 19. I had internalized so much about how it was my own fault. I knew I was guilty of "revenge insomnia" and several other bullshit reasons. And I was told all the standard interventions and I tried them again and again, and I could tell it wasn't making much difference, but I also had and still do have horrendous executive dysfunction. So it felt inconclusive because I could never stick to it for more than like a week. And so I blamed myself for it, I told myself I was a failure.

Then one year I had a stretch of time where I had no responsibilities to anyone or anything, I was kinda miserable about it, and it wasn't helping anything. But I just stopped giving a shit about day and night. And I found that after a while it always seemed to stabilize at around 4 or 5 am when I would always feel sleepy. So I just went to bed at 5 am. And I suddenly felt more well rested than ever before. My sleep felt consistent. I didn't have the grogginess, honestly if I had tried to force myself to conform to the standard 9-5 schedule then it would have destroyed me. The only thing wrong was that, I was a little, out of sync with the rest of the world. Or, to me really, the world was out of sync with me. And I was mad about it, because I knew I couldn't fix it.

Then I got some medication, almost begrudgingly prescribed to me from my psychiatrist. Primarily for the anxiety but it had the side effect of causing drowsiness. First one was hydroxyzine and it helped a lot I could actually get myself to sleep when I wanted to. It hurt the quality of my sleep by a lot if I actually took a dose strong enough to be effective, and I could power through it if I didn't. Second one though, 2.5 mg mirtazipine, actually still the same dose I take right now, that one took, and it was pretty gradual, it took a while for my body to adjust to it properly. But today, I notice, taking that on time is the only reliable method to actually get to bed on time. I still stay up late sometimes, but it's always because I got distracted from taking my meds, not from going to bed. If I take my meds, the latest I go to sleep is 1 hour immediately after that. If I'm really determined, I can still keep myself awake, but my brain starts to slow down, it actually makes me feel like it's 5 am.

And suddenly I understand why normal people tell me I'm doing it wrong. If this is what it's like for them then yeah, it seems crazy and disruptive to do insomnia.

But it's not for me. I'm just being punished for having a different brain.

And now I've just kinda, naturally fallen into a mostly healthy sleep schedule without really trying too hard or thinking about it, and, life moves on.

Cause the other thing is this has only fixed exactly 1 (one) of my problems.

I do not feel better. I do not feel happier. I do not have more motivation. I do not have more focus. My ADHD my depression my anxiety, they're all still wreaking havoc on my life, completely independently of this.

I just feel slightly less tired.

That's it.

It does make fighting the rest a little easier I *guess*. But I'm not cured. I'm not suddenly normal. I don't just need another 3 hour lecture about shit I already know. I know how to take care of myself. I just *can't*. I'm just, out of sync with the world. And I lack the autonomy and power to bring it to me. So I need a hammer to strike myself with to bend into shape. How I don't know. No one wants to give me a hammer without lots of back and forth energy I simply don't have. So I just wait. In Limbo, a little longer. Waiting for the next appointment. Praying my memory of it doesn't get corrupted by the constant shower of cosmic rays bouncing around inside my head.

It's been two decades, and my life still hasn't felt like it's begun.

[dopaminergicaddictions]

I woke up at 2:30. I'm at thr glass place now. I can't wait to have a new Windshield. The astigmatism will disappear. It won't be covered in nicotine anymore. It's going to be wonderful.

I'm here about 30 minutes early. They said it takes anywhere between 1 hour and 1 hour and 30 minutes. My appointment was at 4 and they close at 5 so I wanted to get here early.

I'm thankful for the ability to take the higher dose when my circadian rhythm gets in the way. I still have to consider getting a psychiatrist tbh... cause my doctor won't go up. And I have a feeling Xanax is going to be forever.

I have to reschedule my medical marijuana renewal as I don't see the point in spending 75$ on a renewal I can't use for at least 2 more weeks. I guess you're considered a renewal for 60 days after you expire so that a good thing. I expire tomorrow.

I still have to deal with Mike I canceled for today but Erin will be out next week so I scheduled him for Friday. I'll see Erin Monday, Danielle Tuesday and him Friday. I do have to talk to him about it though.

I'm still hallucinating. Nothing has changed. So I mean I guess my brain is broken forever. I have deemed this my first episode... everytime i hallucinated on the thc pills short term was just hallucinating...

July 28th to July 29th wasn't even 24 hours... it started somewhere between 9-11 pm on the 28th and ended on the 29th somewhere between 2-5 p.m. it wasn't even a full 24 hours. The only good new is usually people can recover from their first episode psychosis. I don't thinkna stretch of under 24 hours is considered psychosis.

I am losing hope that it will stop.. I only have roughly 14 more days.... my Dr recommended holistic medicine... not covered by insurance as I won't consider antipsychotics... Erin wants me to talk to a herbal healer... like I can afford any of this. So yea. I'm starting to looking up how to lower dopamine in the brain naturally... and it's kinda a let down... exercise! I can't even walk back and forth to my car without developing a rash and a cysts........ no nicotine... yes right.... let's just cope with hallucinating by doing meth then right? Cause I need a vice... no sugar... yes right.. let's spend all my money on things without sugar and not drink or eat anything I enjoy.... I don't have as much sugar as you'd think.. it's really just in my juice ans red bull.

I guess it's just going to have to be natural. I have control over my mental images now almost entirely... so I mean there is that. They aren't sexual even though psychosis really tries to male me see the creature with hair and see genitals. It doesn't really work anymore cause I can change it. I know mental images get really effected from psychosis.

I'm worried that even though I know it's psychosis, that my brain can't heal naturally. Everyone needs to do drugs....like I've joined all these groups asking if anyone healed from it naturally and no one responds... it's like everyone hears the voice ot goes catatonic and just takes drugs. If I didn't have the knowledge i do I would have probably taken drugs but I have too much knowledge of them. In the group I was reading some people posts and the a lot of people were talking about latuda... I read about it. It's fucked. The side effects and all that. It really will ruin a person.

So this is like day 117 or something. Idk I'd my brain will ever re-regulate.... all I know is supposedly you can heal from psychosis.

I keep seeing this mental images of a pink brain with blackened connections. 2 weeks ago the blackened wires were like the size of a soda can bottom just square shaped. Today it's like the size of a red bull can but square shaped. I feel like my brain is trying to tell me it's getting more Nirmal... idk. I kinda expect to be like this for life.

[everydayesterday]

you shouldn’t read this.  it’s unsettling, I suppose.  trigger warnings for anyone who suffers from mental illness.  I just need to write it down for the therapeutic aspect.  I will most likely delete this in a few minutes.  

I’m pretty sure tumblr hides this kind of content anyway.  [remember that this is the site that intervenes using koko, which has used ChatGPT for an AI chatbot experiment without the consent of users.]  tumblr doesn’t have the best track record for issues like this.

I need a sleepover with my therapist and psychiatrist where we can watch silly movies in our pyjamas and make jokes about boyfriends and girlfriends.  

I need there to be an option for immediate overnight psychiatric treatment where I can be monitored closely for a few days and have the intervention of specialists to make necessary adjustments to medication, but where I don’t have to get there by showing up at an ER and saying that if I go home I’m going to slash my forearm open with a boxcutter (I’m not sure how likely that specific scenario is, given that I’m squeamish about forearms, but I do feel a need to cut, and I’m not a cutter; maybe I just need to inject something hard into my veins? I can see the appeal of heroin in desperate times).  I’m sure others feel the same obstacles in their path to recovery.  it feels like all or nothing are the only options.  

a few minutes ago I scheduled an appointment with my therapist for today at noon.  at least that’s a positive step that I’ve made, and I did it on my own, instead of burdening my ex-wife with something she’s not entirely equipped to handle emotionally.  

it’s all so sudden.  have my triggers always worked so quickly?  is this a full-blown episode?  I don’t know, but I don’t have answers, and I don’t feel like I’ve got control of my own mind, and being aware of that just makes it worse.  

a big fuck you to my immune system for attacking me back in 2015.  

anyway, here’s a nice excerpt from an article on immunology and bipolar:  

“A narrative review published in Journal of Affective Disorders found that the increased risk of general medical comorbidities (GMC) in patients with bipolar disorder (BD) may be mediated by immune dysfunction.  

The life expectancy of individuals with BD is approximately 11 to 20 years fewer than that of the general population, which is believed to be caused primarily by the elevated prevalence of GMC in BD. For example, cardiovascular disease is more common in individuals with BD vs healthy controls and individuals with other mental disorders, and it is the top cause of mortality in BD. Additionally, diabetes-related death is more common in individuals with BD compared with the general population.”   

guess what I developed back in 2015?  heart problems and diabetes.  stg I don’t know how I’m still alive.  but I made it through the night, even if I have been awake since 3:30.

[billgenbrough]

So, uh. It's almost 4 AM. This situation is giving me so much anxiety that I can't sleep, and it's also flaring up some medical issues (some of my physical health problems get worse with anxiety) so this is fun. I can't take any melatonin because it makes me sleep for a minimum of eight hours and takes about two to actually kick in, and I have to leave for the appointment in six hours. My mom (who drives me because I don't have a license) says that traffic shouldn't be too bad and that she'll "probably be home an hour before we need to leave," but also, it's fucking Chicago we're talking about, so who knows what the traffic will be like. "There won't be that much traffic at 8 AM" That is a fucking lie, that's like one of the busiest times of day for business commutes.

I'm going to have an aneurysm or at least pop a blood vessel (if my anxiety-induced ailments don't take me out first).

Like I could text my psychiatrist's nurse at 8 when they open and be like "Hey, can we reschedule this to a video call next Monday instead, my mom had to unexpectedly go to the airport because my sister's flight got moved from Saturday to today," but I don't want to risk the cancelation fee (if you call within 24 hours of your appointment, you have to pay like 25 bucks or something like that) and my mom would throw a fit if I did that without telling her (again, she's my driver).

My mom told me about a week ago to just start scheduling the public disability aid transportation (called the "show bus" in my area) for my appointments because "they accept rides from anywhere in the county," but I highly doubt that's actually true (I don't live in the same town as my doctor's office, and I know a lot of public transportation systems like busses don't go out of city limits) and it's also a thing where you have to pay for each ride (my mom says my insurance would pay for it because "they did in the past," but that was a different insurance company and also had insurance-contracted personal drivers do it, not the fucking public show bus, but I digress) which I wouldn't be able to do two to four times a week (I'm not sure if it's one payment for a round-trip or one payment each way, but I usually have one appointment a week with another appointment every month) because I don't actually have income (working on getting disability again, but I'm most likely going to miss my appeal deadline—again) to consistently pay for the bus until further notice.

So yeah, I'm losing my goddamn mind (and the contents of my stomach) from the agonizing anxiety this is causing.

I have a doctor's appointment at 11 AM (have to leave around 10:30) but my mom has to be at the airport at 7:30 AM and the airport is two hours away in a super busy city

Chat, do you think I can make it to the appointment, or should I text my doctor to reschedule

[tonystarkisafruit]

My anxiety has been so bad today. Like it's been a good and and overall I'm happy and in a good mood but I'm also so anxious that im nauseated so like that's fun

[alstroemeriadissonance]

Is it okay to be selfish? 🥺 I’m going to be a bit selfish… Hopefully this is inspiring!

Rosa is so stressed from work/something awful happened and she’s suffering from nightmares that are robbing her of precious sleep. How would Vyn comfort her and/or solve the problem? 🤔

(Btw you’re a god on this platform and I love and adore your work. Have some 🍰🍷 you deserve it!)

Treatment (NSFW)

"Well, this is something new."

Dr. Vyn Richter smiled at his new patient from across his executive desk, then directed his attention onto the text displayed on the tablet in front of him.

He pursed his lips upon reading the initial symptoms assessment taken by his research center assistant. "Hmm. 'Nightmares that cause mild distress, and short-term insomnia'."

"Miss Rosa," he looked up from the tablet, his piercing gold gaze looking straight into her soul. "You know that I am at your complete disposal anytime, and that you did not have to put in an appointment. And yet you did."

He let out a sigh as he briefly took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "You do know how invested I am in your well-being." Vyn once again slid his glasses up his nose.

"Yet here I am seeing that...this has been going on for a few days now? Why did I not hear mention of this earlier?"

A mild admonishment.

"I'm sorry, Vyn," Rosa stifled a yawn. "I honestly didn't want to bother you with something as minor as nightmares."

Vyn dropped his smile. "Anything innocuous that becomes disruptive, is no longer innocuous." A sigh. "You look tired, weary. You should have told me at the very least, when the nightmares started recurring."

"Mm. I did actually. Or rather I put in an appointment after the nightmare happened the second time. Today was the soonest available slot I could get." Rosa smiled wanly at him. "Anyway, I thought of taking this chance to see how it feels like, being Dr. Richter's patient."

A nervous laughter escaped her lips.

"And, how did the experience go so far?" Warmth seeped back into Vyn's face as he regarded his lover with nothing but fondness.

"Pleasant, actually," Rosa replied. "I did have an impression that your schedule was packed, but your assistant was kind enough to give me a heads up and make sure my wait was comfortable."

Vyn nodded approvingly. "I am glad. I appreciate you putting in a good word for my staff as well. So..."

The psychiatrist stood up from his executive chair, going around his table to hug his lover from behind her seat.

His silver wisps flowed and mingled with Rosa's auburn strands as he bent over to kiss the top of her head.

"Rosa, Rosa..." he murmured into her hair. "Why must you worry me so? I do not like the idea that you are languishing in something that is well within my realm of expertise to fix." His fingers gently caressed her cheek.

"I didn't want to worry you, Vyn," Rosa pressed her cheek into Vyn's palm. His fingers felt slightly cool to the touch, but she found it comforting to her warm skin. "I figured that the nightmares would go away on their own, but..." she sighed, closing her eyes and relishing the feel of his fingers as they started running through her hair.

"I love you, Rosa, you know that," Vyn said quietly. "I always worry about you. You occupy my waking thoughts. Always."

"And I didn't want to add to that, Vyn," Rosa said. "I know how you already put me first..."

"And I would not have it any other way, beloved," Vyn said, softly yet firmly. "I will take care of you. But not here. I prefer a separation between my professional and private life."

Another kiss on the top of her head. "Come. Let us go home."

===

After dinner, the psychiatrist decided that it was a good idea for them to unwind in his study, before they made preparations for bedtime.

Vyn placed a steaming cup of lavender and mint herbal infusion in front of Rosa, who was seated by his mahogany work table.

After browsing through his personal vinyl record collection, he mounted his choice record for the night on the turntable and put on the needle. Jazz standard music flowed out of the speakers, setting the mood for relaxation.

"How is it, my beloved?" Vyn asked, referring to the herbal drink, as he sat himself in the chair across her with his book in hand. "Do you wish to take it with some milk?"

"Mhm. No need. This is perfect, Vyn. Thank you." Rosa took the cup and saucer to appreciate the aromatic steam. "This smells lovely...is this one of your personal blends?"

"Yes. I take it whenever I have trouble falling asleep," Vyn murmured as he opened his book, resuming his leisurely read from a dog-eared page.

A comfortable silence fell upon the lovers: Vyn engrossed in his book, and Rosa enjoying her cup of soothing herbal blend.

Jazz standards continued to play from Vyn's favorite turntable. The music was neither soporific nor stimulating; it was just right for the purpose of letting themselves indulge in a little downtime before sleeping.

Vyn was of the mind that no matter how busy the work day, there should be some time allotted for oneself; be it to read a book, enjoy a cup of soothing beverage, listening to music or even watching a favorite TV show.

The loss of such a time would only lead to an erosion of identity; the start of the slippery slope where ultimately one would only exist solely for responsibility, and nothing left for oneself. This would inevitably lead to stress, and along with stress comes a variety of mental distress, including nightmares...

"Vyn, I thought we're spending time here in your study to talk about my nightmares...?" Rosa gently broke through the sweet silence.

Vyn looked up from his book. "No need. If we are to talk about your nightmares, it would be best to talk about it when we are in bed, about to sleep." A small smile. "You may want to take advantage of having someone knowledgeable in psychology as your...companion in bed."

He bent over, reaching out to her cheek with a light brush of his knuckle. "What is most important right now, is to let you have some time for yourself. Relax. Do you want me to get you something to go along with your drink? Or do you wish for another? Mind, I do not recommend alcohol, as tempting as it sounds."

Rosa put down her now empty cup. "Can I ask for something else, Vyn?"

"But of course. What does my love desire?"

"Can I have a kiss?" Rosa flashed him a small, shy smile. "A kiss from Dr. Richter...um. Never fails to make me feel better."

Rosa covered her face with her hands as soon as she said those words; a furious blush had crept all over her face.

Vyn shook his head, smiling. "Of course. If you only knew how much I wanted to, in the first place..."

He placed his book onto the table.

Vyn then knelt in front of Rosa, with his hands folded on her lap. He looked at her through his long silver lashes, a hint of a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

"Feel free to claim your kiss," he whispered.

In a fit of impulse he took off his eyeglasses, setting them on the table as well. His smile only grew wider when, despite his myopic vision, he could make out Rosa's face gain a deeper red flush as she beheld his face now unimpeded by spectacles.

"Come, kiss me," he beckoned to her again.

Vyn let her take the lead as they locked lips; everything not Rosa was blotted out from his senses--all he could see, touch, smell, hear, taste was all Rosa.

Their tongues entwined, and Vyn could definitely taste the lavender and mint from her tongue. The kiss melted him so much that he found himself draping upon her lap, moaning her name into her mouth as Rosa coiled her arms around him, gathering him into her embrace.

"Rosa," he breathed as she let him surface a bit for air. "Rosa, I love you..." He could feel himself grow hard with utter desire as his lover helped herself to him by sucking on his tongue.

"I know, Vyn," she smiled as he cradled him close to her. "I love you too."

His senses were awash with Rosa--all he could see and smell was her and her alone. Hair smelling of soft cotton. Base notes of roses left on her skin, along with a little salt...so damn arousing... Vyn found everything about her quite intoxicating--it was very tempting to just reach out and pull her down onto the floor with him...

"Silly woman," Vyn let out a soft laugh as his hands reached out to grab the armrests on Rosa's chair, gripping them to steady himself and also to stop himself from ravishing her on that very spot. "I was not planning on arousing you. I wanted you to sleep in a relaxed state as much as possible."

"I'm sorry," Rosa giggled. "You just looked so handsome reading right in front of me."

"Really now," Vyn's lips curved into a rakish smile. "I am flattered that you think of me so highly. But," he pushed himself up off the floor and planted a kiss on her forehead. "It is almost bedtime, so we better get ready. Come," he said as he slid his eyeglasses up his nose once again.

He chuckled inwardly as he heard Rosa sigh and mutter something about being 'cock-blocked'.

===

Finally having showered and changed into their bedclothes, the both of them went to bed with Vyn holding Rosa in his arms, as he silently listened to her recount how her nightmares usually went.

"It always starts with a feeling of being lost." Rosa murmured against the crook of his neck. "Then someone is chasing after me. I...I'm not sure how he looks like, but in my mind once he catches me I'll be killed, stabbed to death with his knife." She paused. "I always wake up when he catches me."

"And how do you feel when he does?" Vyn absent-mindedly played with Rosa's slightly damp auburn curls with his fingers, all focus directed towards listening to her.

"I scream a lot in my dream." Rosa laughed nervously. Her thoughts came in a barely-coherent jumble. "Not sure if I also scream in real life. Terrified. Because he'll kill me...everything goes black..."

Rosa moved closer to him, absorbing more of Vyn's body warmth as much as she could through his silk robe. "Then I wake up in the middle of the night, and I would have a hard time falling asleep after that."

"Ah, poor Rosa," Vyn pulled her closer to him. One of his hands slowly run over her back in an attempt to soothe and calm her. "I will be here, and I will personally oversee your progress throughout the course of the treatment, which may extend for a couple of weeks." A reassuring kiss on her forehead. "Will this be acceptable?"

"Progress?" Rosa looked at him questioningly. "What's your treatment plan, anyway?"

"Basically," Vyn began, "I will be trying a simplification of something called imagery rehearsal therapy. It is an interesting thing. It calls for rewriting the ending of your nightmare to cushion or eliminate the threat in the dream."

"Taking the fangs out of the nightmare, you mean."

"Exactly."

"I'd ask how you would do it but," Rosa yawned behind her hand. "I'm sleepy..."

"Just about time," Vyn said as he reached out to turn off the bedside lamp. A comfortable darkness settled within Vyn's bedroom; he gently shifted Rosa a bit so her back was flush against his chest as he spooned her, his arms coiled protectively around her shoulders and waist.

"Good night, my dearest. Let us take care of your nightmare together," he murmured against the nape of her neck. "Do not worry; I am here."

"Thanks, Vyn. I love you."

===

Vyn awoke to Rosa trembling in his arms.

His eyes glanced at the illuminated LED clock. 2:45 AM. Just about time for her REM sleep to kick in.

He shifted himself carefully so he could put his ear near her mouth. Panting. Fast, shallow breathing. His fingers gently sought out her wrist, and lightly touched the spot where the radial artery was located. Raised heart rate. He estimated her heart rate would be about 130. Average heart rate for someone running...

She is running. In her dream.

In the scant illumination from the garden lamps outside he could make out her lower lip trembling.

"...no," whispered Rosa.

She was in distress.

Vyn set out to work.

He did tell her that he was going to apply imagery rehearsal therapy, an activity that was usually carried out in his office, through conversations and exchange of ideas. However...

Since this was his Rosa, he was going to fix this problem the best that he could, which could also mean him resorting to unconventional means.

As for the therapy itself, without his complete arsenal available in his research center, all Vyn could do for now is to try and send suggestions to Rosa's subconscious through her dreams.

For it to even happen, he would have to hope for Rosa to be in that state of half sleep, half wakefulness where external stimuli gets woven into the fabric of her dreams...

Here goes.

Vyn brought his lips to her ear. "Love..."

===

Once again, that heavy feeling of dread. Once again, you are in one of the deserted back alleys of the CBD area, and there's no one to help you. Dark, only dark surrounds you and only dark lies ahead of you. You try to run as quietly as you can to try and not draw attention towards you. Run, run, run, but your footsteps echo still. Your heels click-clack loudly as you run but it's too late now to stop. You try to run as fast as you can but why are your steps bogged down, why are movements so slow, why is it that you can't reach the other end of the alley?

The palpable feeling of immense dread courses through your veins. He is here. He is here. He is here. He is here.

He is here.

He is--

"Nnghhh," you try to cry out but nothing comes out of your throat. You feel him come closer. At first he is by the entrance of the alleyway you just came from. Then you feel him get closer, closer, closer--

He is just behind you now.

"No..." your voice manages to get through, in a strangled cry. Try as hard as you might you are now frozen in place and there's nowhere to run. He is now behind you, and you recoil, gnashing your teeth as you expect the inevitable strike--

A hand takes hold of yours.

"Love," says a familiar voice. "It is only me."

Your eyes open. You feel strong arms hug you from behind, lovingly. "Why are you scared? Why are you running away from me?"

A kiss on the top of your head.

"Love. Look at me."

He gently turns you around, effortlessly moving you despite the invisible quagmire that held you in place.

It's Vyn. His beautiful moonlight hair and champagne eyes. Smiling at you. Love. Only love.

"Why are you so scared?" A soft laugh. "I was looking all over for you, only to find you running away from me."

You don't reply--you can't reply--but instead you return his hug, clinging to your savior desperately. It's Vyn. Only Vyn. Why were you so scared? You find yourself crying silently as you cling to his shoulders. It's Vyn. You're safe.

"Ssh. You are safe now, do not cry," he whispers.

Then his lips upon yours. His tongue slips past your lips and slides against your own. You feel his hands slide gently down your body, his hands palming your buttocks and then grabbing at your ass cheeks, pressing your pelvis against his thighs, all the while he sucks on your tongue. He briefly surfaces from the kiss to say, "I want you," then resumes devouring your lips and tongue as he slowly grinds his erection against your stomach...

You are in the middle on a dark alley.

But no matter, you're in too deep now.

===

"Hahh--" Vyn, now fully naked with his silk robe already discarded to the floor, braced himself on top of Rosa as he kissed her with tongue. He made sure to keep his weight distributed to both of his elbows planted by either side of her on the mattress, so he does not burden her with his full weight and run the risk of waking her.

He pressed his hard cock against her abdomen, grinding it against her but careful not to apply too much pressure. It was all too tempting to let himself go, but Vyn willed himself to delay his gratification until the very last moment after Rosa is made to orgasm...

Rosa is still asleep, and is still under REM stage. However gone now are her tremors borne of terror; they were now replaced by telltale moans of sexual arousal.

Vyn had successfully flipped her nightmare into a wet dream.

Which poses a different daytime distraction, but still...

Direct intervention was never a requirement for imagery rehearsal therapy, as it could be done by the patient alone after a bit of guidance.

However, Vyn fancied being a little extra in resolving Rosa's nightmare problem.

(This would introduce a new set of problems, but one step at a time, Vyn thought)

Rosa's hips moved against his, moaning all throughout, still in the throes of sleep.

One of Vyn's hands slipped underneath her satin camisole, sliding upwards until his palm cupped her swell of her breast. He teased her nipple to hardness by running the skin of his palm against it; and he was rewarded by a soft mewling that escaped Rosa's lips and a slight arching of her back that pressed her breast harder into his gently kneading hand.

"I want you. I want to fuck you so much," Vyn whispered directly into her ear. "You are safe with me, but I need to fuck you..."

The way Rosa writhed underneath him in her sleep--it was so tempting to just let himself go and ravish her as much and as hard as he can, to rail her so hard into the mattress like how she deserved to be fucked, but there was work to be done and his patient this time was his most cherished...

Biting his lip Vyn continued to gently tease her, his thumb and forefinger now gently rolling her nipple as he continued his kissing, relishing the feel of her tongue sliding against him, her body arching closer to his in an unconscious response to his touches.

"Nngh--Vyn..." Rosa finally moaned his name out loud.

Shit.

It may be an indication that she was starting to break through her REM. Vyn needed to work faster now, there was no time to linger and enjoy himself...

Vyn's hand slowly slid down from her breast, his cool fingertips running across the skin of her stomach, then her lower abdomen...and eventually reaching her completely drenched slit.

"You are doing good, Rosa," Vyn purred softly into her ear as his fingers slightly dipped in between her wet, throbbing flesh, lubricating his digits with her own slick. "Come. I will make you feel good."

Licking his lips Vyn started with tracing light circles around Rosa's clit. "Yess..." he whispered as he watched Rosa moan slightly louder, needier now, her hips moving and grinding against his hand. "Does it feel good, pet?" He let a soft laugh escape his lips. Rosa was putty in his hands and even in her sleep she was so pliant, so responsive, only for him...

Vyn's thumb kept on gently strumming her clit, as he let his index and forefingers slip inside her cunt. Her hot inner walls sucked in his fingers effortlessly, as if in hunger, or as if there was a void that so badly needed to be filled and it could be filled only by his fingers.

Or his cock.

But masturbation for now. Rosa would need to come with his fingers. He will indulge later when she starts to wake up. For now Vyn fucked her pussy with long, steady strokes--not too hard that it may accelerate her break to wakefulness--as he indulged in her moans, cries, her cunt grinding against his hand.

I wish I can see her dreams.

I wonder how I look like, how I am, in her dreams...

===

"Does it feel good, pet?" asks your savior as his fingers give you the relief you so waited for all your life. All your life--this is the release that you have been wishing for, the heaping of pleasure upon pleasure upon pleasure, each circle drawn by his fingertips around your clit brings such pleasure that builds and winds you up tighter and tighter...

Your hips buck against his hand, willing, pushing him to go faster--but you still cannot speak, and so you can only cry tears of frustration until Vyn finally slips two fingers inside you--manna from heaven, your brain sings--and you cry, this time of utter relief and you grind your hips closer to his hand, trying to bury his fingers deeper inside of you where they belong, yes, more, deeper, deeper, deeper...

Vyn of the moonlight hair and champagne gold eyes look upon you with that gentle cruelty on his face, thoroughly enjoying himself as he sees you rut yourself on his hand. "Hahaha, yes. Come for me. Moan for me," he whispers. "My little Rosa. I want you to come all over my hand."

Fingertip still drawing circles on your clit. Fingers fucking you, fingers slipping in and out with movements that could be an ancient code that sings of your love for him and his for you. Wet, slick noises at every movement of his fingers. In, out, in, out. Warmth is now starting to pool from your loins, the sweet coil of pleasure unravelling, unravelling and the cold ground on which he fucks you is now turning softer, warmer, yielding to your body--you are now lying on a bed--and you shout as you come violently, so strongly that everything turns white and--

===

"Nngh..." Rosa moaned, the movement of her hips against Vyn's hand going faster and stronger. "Ahhhh--!!" She came as she moaned, shouted into the solemn quiet of Vyn's bedroom. "Oh god, oh god," she cried as her hips never let up their movement as she rode her violent orgasm. "Oh god!"

Rosa finally woke up. "What...Vyn...?"

"Fuck," Vyn muttered, at this point too turned on now to hold himself back. "I am sorry, beloved," he whispered urgently as he parted her thighs, positioning himself to take her. "Gods. I need to fuck you now."

His impatient hands grabbed her by the thighs and pulled her closer to him, his hard cock glistening with pre-cum, twitching, as it made contact with her now dripping sex.

Licking his lips Vyn guided his tip to her entrance, and with a single motion plunged himself to the hilt.

"Hahaha, fuck," Vyn let out a groan, throwing his head back, finally awash with relief of being able to fuck her and chase his own pleasure. The thrusting of his hips have started and picked up both strength and speed; his queen-sized bed creaking with every thrust into her pussy; and he is rewarded with sweet, sweet moans from his Rosa begging him to fuck her more, fuck her harder, ravage her cunt more, yes, please...

"Vyn," Rosa now dug her fingers into the bedsheets. "Vyn!!" she cried out, having reached her second orgasm.

"Again, pet?" Vyn cried out in between thrusts. "I am about to--" he gritted his teeth, bracing himself for the inevitable, and the wave finally washed over him--the black of the room replaced with white as he climaxed inside her in violent bursts.

===

"Hello, Miss Rosa," Dr. Richter greeted his last patient for the day in his office. "Did the nightmare recur anytime after our...treatment?"

A few days have lapsed after she slept in Vyn's Victorian mansion. While Vyn offered to sleep together for a few more days, Rosa had declined, reasoning that both of them needed to attend to their own duties, and that she had faith that his chosen method of treatment would work.

Rosa seated herself in the patient's chair set in front of his executive desk. "Actually...no," she said.

Vyn planted his elbows on his desk, and placed his chin on steepled fingers. "I sense a 'but' there. Is anything amiss?"

A small smile played on his lips; a telltale glint of mirth illuminating his gold eyes.

"Nothing much," Rosa said after some thought. "I followed your recommendation that I ease up on my workload and to make sure I have at least one hour to spend on a hobby everyday."

She smiled, but the smile was a little bit taut. "I no longer have nightmares."

Vyn nodded. "I am glad. I was thinking that we may need to do the conventional method of imagery rehearsal therapy should it not work." He then tipped his head slightly to the side. "But...?"

Rosa took a deep breath as said, "I am getting distracted during the day," she bit her lip, keeping herself from grinning. "I can't help but. You know what I mean."

The psychiatrist chuckled. "You can put it into words, love. We do not record conversations unless with explicit consent from the patient. No need to hide behind euphemisms."

"Fine, since you so badly want to hear it, Vyn," Rosa said. "I can't help but think of how we fucked that night. Or," she exhaled. "How much I want to fuck you again."

A nigh-imperceptible movement of her thighs. Vyn took notice, despite her seated across his executive desk.

Wordlessly he got up and crossed the distance to his door, opened it to flip the outside signage to indicate Dr. Richter is OUT, then bolted the door closed.

"You want us to fuck again, you said?" Vyn said as he gave her such an inviting smile, licking his lips as he locked his predatory gaze with hers. "Then come. They have always said that the psychiatrist's chaise longue is an exceptional furniture for lovemaking..."

[itstheoneshot]

Handsome

Request

Summary: Being trans is hard, but every day is bearable, with Jongin by your side.

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing: Kai x Nonbinary Reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Gender Dysphoria, Body Worship.

It was the scariest day of your life, when you finally came out to your partner. You had been putting it off for months, terrified of his reaction. You went to both your doctor and your psychiatrist appointments alone, never telling Jongin what was happening. It was only days before starting testosterone treatment, when you finally broke down and told him.

“Nini, I’m transgender,” You had stuttered, “I’m nonbinary, I’d like you to use they/them pronouns for me now, and I’m changing my name.”

Nothing could have prepared you for how well this would be received. The smile on his face was enough to light up the world, and to ease every ounce of anxiety you had felt for the last few months, or even longer really, since you had been internally fighting the reality of your gender for so long.

“I love you,” He had replied with tears in his eyes, matching your own, “I’m so proud of you, and I’ll always love you.”

From that day on, Jongin accompanied you to your doctor’s appointments, and he held your hand when you had your first testosterone shot, the needle terrifying him more than it did you, though this was the best distraction from the pain, as you teased him about it while the doctor injected you.

It was cute, the questions that Jongin asked, ones you didn’t always know the answers to. Technical, scientific questions, like when will your voice drop? or when will your body change? and so many more, all of which you answered to the best of your ability, even if you had to google search for some of them.

He was your biggest supporter, every day telling you how handsome you were, helping you buy new clothes to feel better about yourself, even going as far as to offer to pay for your top surgery scheduled a few months down the track. You were so grateful to him, as the most important person in your life, his caring and kind nature kept you going every day.

———

It had been about a month of being out, when in a fit of dysphoria, Jongin finds you crying over your reflection in the bathroom mirror.

“Jagi,” He hushes you, “What’s wrong?”

You look up at yourself, your eyes are red and puffy, tear stains all down your cheeks, and then you glance at your partner’s reflection, his eyes are wide with concern for you.

“I hate how I look,” You sigh, tugging at your hair tied back in a bun, it is too feminine, “I can’t do this.”

Jongin pouts at you as he moves to untie your hair, running his fingers through it before twisting it up again, in some attempt to style it, and as upset as you are, it makes you laugh.

“Should we go to the hairdressers?” He asks, “I did some research the other day, there’s a trans-friendly salon not too far from here.”

Your heart skips a beat at the idea, it is so simple, but you are sure that it will make the biggest difference to how you see yourself, and how others do too, at least in the meantime until testosterone really changes how you look.

“Please, Nini,” You nod, “That would be amazing.”

You haven’t even finished agreeing before Jongin has his phone in his hand, dialling the number of the salon to book you in. You stare at yourself in the meantime, trying to imagine a style that will suit you best, but it’s hard, you are not feeling good at all today, especially not after all the crying.

“Can you be ready for an appointment in an hour?” He asks, “Or would tomorrow be better?”

As you stare into the mirror, you know that this can’t wait, that you would probably take clippers and shave your head if you are forced to look at yourself any longer.

“I can be ready,” You reply, “I just need to wash up.”

Jongin turns you around, forcing you to look away from the mirror and to him instead. He kisses you gently, one hand on your waist while the other holds your cheek, keeping you close to him for a moment, his way of making sure you are okay.

“I love you,” He murmurs as he slowly pulls away, “We need to leave in 30 minutes.”

You rinse your face at the sink, washing away your tears, and you dry your face with your towel, applying a little moisturiser before you exit the bathroom. Jongin is waiting for you, he has your bag in his hand, while his own is slung over his right shoulder.

“Come on, baby,” He urges you, “Let’s go.”

You take his hand, following him out to his car. You are nervous, to say the least. You know that this will be a good thing for you, it is going to make a huge difference to your self esteem and to the way that you see yourself, but you are still terrified.

Jongin can tell too, holding your hand in his while he drives, he tries to distract you with endless stories about the latest things he has been working on, group projects, another solo release, and the new collaboration he is a part of with yet another designer label. He is always so busy, and you are grateful for it, to be able to stand beside him while he gains his success, and you are able to expand on your own too, it is perfect.

“I love you,” You tell him as he parks his car on the side of the road, “Thank you for always taking care of me.”

Jongin leans over the centre console to kiss you before you both get out of the car, holding hands to cross the street to the salon. You are greeted at the door by the receptionist, and she names and genders you correctly which makes you smile wider than you have today. Jongin relinquishes his grip on your hand, moving to take a seat in the waiting area while you follow the hairdresser to her station.

“Your partner told me you’re ready for a real change,” The hairdresser says, “Were you thinking full masculine? I think you would suit an undercut, with a messy fringe, what do you think?”

You realise that you had not even got that far, but you find yourself nodding, throwing all nerves out the window as you trust the hairdresser’s opinion. You are sure that with her years of training, she would have a keen eye for the right styles to suit your face. She smiles at you reassuringly, as if she can sense your apprehension, and you try to ground yourself as she drapes the hairdressers cape around your neck.

Before she starts, you glance over at Jongin to see him staring at you, and he smiles as he catches your eye before you turn back to the mirror again. This is it, the change is happening now, you take one final deep breath before relaxing, and you watch the hairdresser as she gets to work.

You try not to focus too hard as the hairdresser does her thing, though you notice how much lighter you feel already, even without seeing the style. It takes about an hour or so, until you are sitting back in the chair after having your hair washed, and the hairdresser is doing the final touch ups after drying your hair off.

“It’s done,” She tells you, turning around to grab a mirror from her trolley so that you can see the back, “What do you think?”

It is like a different person is staring back at you, when you look up at the mirror. In a good way though, as if this is who you were meant to be all along. Sure, you still feel feminine, your features are softer than you want them to be, but the hair… It is so good.

“I love it,” You reply, unable to contain your smile, “Thank you, thank you so much.”

Jongin sees you stand, and he gets up immediately to join you. If you thought that he had looked at you lovingly before, you have no words to describe the way that he stares now.

“You look so handsome,” He says breathlessly, “Baby… wow.”

It is not often that you stun Jongin like this, and his reaction has you blushing. You take his hand, and he walks you up to the front desk where he pays for the haircut, accepting only a kiss from you when you try to convince him to let you cover the cost.

“Thank you,” You say as you lean your head on his shoulder, “Are we going home now?”

Jongin takes you a hand to your waist, leading you out of the salon and back to his car as he shakes his head.

“I was thinking we could go for lunch first,” He replies, “Unless you’d rather not?”

You take a second to think it over, and you know that though the person you were this morning would say no, you left them behind with the hair on the salon floor. You are better now, stronger, more confident, and you want to prove to both yourself and the world that you can do this.

“I’d love to,” You reply easily, “Anywhere with you is perfect.”

———

Your meal is incredible, and the way that Jongin stares at you the whole time is even more so. You are flustered under his gaze, self-conscious although you know that he means well. It is hard to accept yourself, though Jongin accepts and loves you more than ever.

“Are you right?” You ask him as you lift your hands to shield your red cheeks once you finish your meal, “You haven’t stopped looking at me the whole time.”

“I’m fine,” Jongin replies without hesitation, “I just… can we go home now?”

You are surprised but relieved at his request, more than ready to no longer be out in public, grateful that your partner is just as much of a homebody as you are. You nod your agreement as you stand up, and the two of you walk to the counter for Jongin to pay once again, before you leave the cafe together.

“You really do look incredible,” Jongin says as he turns the keys in the ignition of his car, “I hope you feel better now too, you do, right?”

“I do,” You nod at him, taking his hand again once he is on the road, “Thank you always, for everything.”

Jongin laughs, squeezing your hand in his, “Stop thanking me, loving you is the bare minimum, you deserve the world.”

It’s corny, but you don’t mind, it makes you so happy that he loves you so much, and you feel exactly the same way about him. You spend the short drive home leaning on the headrest and staring at Jongin’s side profile, forever amazed that someone as incredible as him loves you.

You are home soon, following Jongin inside, both sighing contentedly as you take your shoes off at the door. You are exhausted, lifting a hand to your head to comb your fingers through your hair and reminding yourself that it is short now, all gone, so masculine.

“One minute,” You mumble as you head off down the hallway to the bathroom, though you hear Jongin’s footsteps behind you anyway.

As you stand in front of the mirror that you were crying at only a few hours ago, Jongin resumes his stance behind you, with his arm over your shoulder to gently caress your cheek. You feel tears threatening to fall again, and you take a deep shaky breath to try and stop them.

“You are perfect,” Jongin says, “I feel like a broken record, but fuck, you are perfect.”

This time you shake your head, your insecurities surfacing once more. You are not perfect, Jongin is lying to placate you, there is nothing even close to perfect about you.

“I’m a fake,” You sigh, “I’m never going to look the way that I want to… I should just accept it.”

Jongin doesn’t hide his shock, concerned as you begin to cry once more. All of the emotions that you have been trying to hold in for so long are now coming up, and all you want to do is disappear.

“Baby, don’t say that,” Jongin replies, “Why do you think that?”

You reflect for a moment, uncertain of your answer. It is hard being this way, in a world full of people who don’t understand or accept you, how are you supposed to love yourself?

“I’m tired, Nini,” You say, “The world will never see me for who I am, I’m always going to be an outlier… I can’t do this, I hate who I am.”

Jongin doesn’t hesitate this time, turning you around to face him, so that you can no longer look at yourself. The way that he looks at you is enough to leave you breathless, the love in his eyes is enough to fill your whole world, but it is hard to get out of your head, it is so fucking hard to find a way out of the negative spiral you are in.

“I love you,” Jongin proclaims, “All of you, my handsome, beautiful partner. You deserve to see yourself the way that I see you, and not care about the rest of the world.”

It is sudden, when he kisses you, and you cling to him as if he is your life force. Fists balled in his shirt as you kiss him back, your tears fall in a steady stream down your cheeks, but you are trying not to be sad anymore.

“The people who matter will accept you,” He continues between kisses, “And if they don’t accept you, they don’t matter.”

He’s right, you know that he is, but you still care, it is ingrained in you to base your worth off the perception of others. It’s getting harder though, to think, as Jongin continues to kiss you, as you feel the back of your thighs hit the bathroom counter. Jongin’s hands are in your hair, his fingers lazily examining the now shaved back and sides, and it tickles, euphoric.

“Baby, you’re incredible,” He murmurs, nipping gently at your bottom lip, “You look so fucking hot like this.”

You gasp into the kiss, giggling as he lifts you up off the ground and guides you to sit on the counter. You instinctively wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer to you, moving your hands to his broad shoulders as the kisses grow deeper.

“Tell me again,” You stutter, “Make me believe you, please.”

Jongin had been waiting for you to ask, this is evident, as with each kiss he grinds into you, and you can feel how hard he has grown. His hands are less gentle now, working to pull your t-shirt off, and eagerly tugging at the button and fly of your jeans.

“You’re perfect,” He repeats, as you lift your hips up, giving him access to tear your jeans down your legs, “You deserve the world, you are everything to me.”

His compliments flow so easily, and you allow yourself to take them, as if they are natural to you, as if you believe them, in this moment not caring whether you really do or not. All you care for is him, how badly you want him, and how badly you want to see yourself how he does.

“I love you,” He continues, his hands on your thighs to spread them apart once you are both completely naked, your back against the mirror, “I’ll always love you, all of you.”

You move your hands to his waist as he comes closer to you, each second growing needier than the last, each word he says echoes the way that you feel about him. You think he is perfect, and you will always love him too.

“I need you,” You whine, “Please, Nini… don’t want to wait.”

As his hands travel further up your legs, you whimper into his mouth in anticipation, and your hands instinctively reach for his cock, certain that you are ready, not caring if it is going to hurt at all.

“Jagi,” He replies, his fingers tracing tantalisingly slow over your core, “Fuck, you are so wet already.”

You grab his forearm, forcing his hand as you try to pull him closer to you, with your other hand in his hair to keep him kissing you, and you lock your ankles behind his knees to close the remaining distance between you.

“Just fuck me already,” You demand, “Come on, you know you want it too.”

Jongin chuckles, though you watch his pupils dilate, he loves it when you get bossy with him, and he happily obliges your order. His hand moves to on top of yours wrapped around his cock, and he guides you to line him up with where his fingers were teasing only a few moments ago.

“Oh,” You gasp, attempting to meter your breathing as he enters you, “Oh shit.”

He is slow at first, as expected, gentle as he thrusts forward until you take him in all the way, letting you adjust to his size while he too adjusts to the tightness, though you know it will get easier soon as you remind yourself to relax.

“I’ve got you,” Jongin soothes, as he pulls back to then thrust in again, “Fuck, baby, oh god you feel so good every time.”

You are rendered almost speechless as Jongin speeds his movements up, the pattern and rhythm is perfect, as always. Jongin moves his hand to the back of your head, protecting you from knocking it into the mirror as he fucks you harder, each thrust has you crying out for him louder than the last.

“Fuck,” You gasp breathlessly, “Shit, Nini, you hit so fucking deep like this.”

All you can focus on is him, as he continues to praise you, telling you every detail about you that he loves, leaving nothing unsaid. He fills your heart with his words as perfectly as he fills your cunt with his cock and you feel yourself so close to the edge, though you are sure that Jongin will not slow down.

“Please, my love,” Jongin moans, pressing his forehead to yours, and you can feel the sweat beaded on his brow as it touches yours, “I need you to cum for me, don’t hold back, okay?”

It isn’t hard to obey him, you needed this just as much, and his words are the key to your release as much as the way that he fucks you is. You feel yourself begin to convulse before your high comes to peak, moaning Jongin’s name against his lips as he fucks you perfectly through it, his own release following mere moments later.

“I love you,” You manage to speak, “I love you so much.”

Jongin’s chest heaves as he attempts to catch his breath upon slowing down, though he does not make an attempt to pull out of you just yet.

“I love you too,” He replies, “My beautiful, handsome life partner. I love you, every single part of you.”

You are blessed, and you know it. Despite the hardships that you face due to being transgender, Jongin is there for you through it all. You know that this life is not always easy, but you are even more sure of the fact that your beautiful partner will be there for you at the end of every day. To pick you up, to make you smile, and to remind you that you are loved and supported, no matter what.