#fuck im bumming myself out
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Took three weeks off from sailing because I sprained my damn elbow like an idiot, and no one even noticed I wasn't there.
#i could drop dead tomorrow and no one outside of my immediate family would give a flying fuck#well and my manager when i didn't show up to work i guess#which isn't news#I've always kept myself to myself#but like damn i thought we were friends#guess not#idk it's just hitting me#what's going to happen to me if/when my family is gone#I'm the oldest if there is a god please let me die first#hello in there#fuck im bumming myself out#the worst part is I'd carry on anyways#if i was the last#because that's what i do#there's this wolfstar fanfic that's like#i wish i knew how to break#and honestly same#well fuck
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at what point am i to blame for what adhd does to me. at what point is it "adhd made it fucking physically impossible for me to focus today so i didnt do much work and hate it" versus just "i didnt do much work." am i allowed to feel shitty about it or is that just wallowing
#genuine question honestly#like. it feels like fucking shit to not have anything to show for sitting at a computer for 8+ hrs#but like thats My Fucking Fault for not doing the work#like god i tried but it just wasnt good enough#and like. what am i allowed to say about it? oh my adhd meds ran out (5 months ago) thats why it didnt work out?#but the reason i havent gotten new ones and let these ones run out is bcs of the same exact reason#i just couldnt bring myself to refill them just like i couldnt work today#so thats again my fault and it Sucks SoBad#i base a lot of my self worth on being productive and adhd makes mr feel like im not worth much when i cant do anything#UGH ANYWAY thats dramatic but. idk. bums me out i really was looking forward to working a long time today#adhd#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#actually adhd#adhd problems#adhd brain#vent#rant#adhd rant#neurodiverse stuff
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Man this is the first birthday I've sat alone in my room and sobbed on
#this fucking sucks#my dad called me to say happy birthday and i started crying because i got so bummed out#he was going to come up and visit and we had to postpone because i got covid#and then 20 other things went wrong already this morning#and im sick and exhausted and sad#and then i got dizzy while walking the dog im pet sitting#and i got stuck behind bikers taking up the whole lane#and then behind a pickup truck full of mulch going 20 under#and i had to cancel my birthday party#and my mom is at the beach without me spending time with her racist loser boyfriend and bragging about it to our family#and this was supposed to be the year i finally did something for myself on my birthday like it was supposed to be different this year#and im alone in my room#tired and sweaty and sad and lonely and miserable and sick and awful#and i just want to hibernate until this is over
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did like one game of turf war and then got myself so fucking tired out im now laying in bed dejectedly like the sad old man i am
a sad old man that gets winded after one single game of turf war
#yknow i knew id bum myself out whyd i do that#i mean my team still WON the game because limitations or not im still the fucking goat#just sucks i cant keep up the heat like i used to#ic
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#i didn't get the job#was neck to neck with another person#they would hire me if another round comes up in the future#I'm a little peeved about them asking me to volunteer then get work through that manner#not opposed but in this economy and having little to no time to myself cause of work#and chronic pain issues it was like ehhhh thanks for the slap?#im probably reading too much into that cause I'm bummed#and i had a really crappy day at work#and im tired im not getting paid enough for what im doing my coworkers are dicks and im in pain#sorry needed to get this shit off my chest#im mostly bummed too cause the pay raise would've literally taken me out of poverty#i cant find anything else like it in my area#thousand times fuck america#thanks for coming to my ted talk#im gonna go grab some cheap wine#listen to some music#and try to decompress
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im not joking but if one more relative in fucking bangladesh sits me down and warns me about the dangers of pride month and whatever the fuck since im moving to canada im going to kill myself im going to kill myself im going to kill myself
#literally im ok w being closeted till i die bc i love my parents and they dont bring up this shit#but what the fuck its literally so fucking annoying to pretend to be completely interested and ok when some bum fuck uncle is warning me abt#transgenders and drag queens and gay people like . im literally going to shoot myself#and it pisses me off even more when the relatives in question are so unreligious too like. genuinely why the fuck do u care#and sincerely leave me the FUCK alone gay ppl r not gonna kill me what the hell#sometimes i js wanna tell them i kissed a girl for the first time in the same house they were in just so they can freak out or whatever#anyway. anyway. i hate pride month im so sorry fellow lgbts but its so terrible for me#i wish they would continue to just be so ignorant and oblivious to everything pertaining to sexuality and gender#that way i can avoid their stupid lectures. like i literally am always the one forced to listen to this bc im too polite to tell them to#fuck off#and anger and frustration aside... its also just so hurtful lol#like to know sooo clearly that the love ur extended family have for u is so conditional even my cousins#how does who i love change what kind of person i am. if only they had any idea that the kind of derogatory terms they r using towards this#'faceless' force of lgbts applies to the same kid they literally raised. like. idk its so depressing#and if i lie and say im neutral to this kind of topics thats also problematic bc i gotta b violently against it#im genuinely so upset by this soz guys#praying i never return to bangladesh#hate it here lol
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This past week has felt like a million fucking years. Fuck's sake
#shut up max#realistically its actually felt like half a month#like genuinely#i keep thinking to myself 'oh my god i think i forgot to take my t shot' because it literally feels like its been forever since Saturday#and even tho i saw Andi and Sean on Wednesday it feels like waaaaay longer ago#same with my other friend group. i saw them on Saturday but it feels like its been like almost a month. its actually kinda bumming me out#like since i keep thinking i havent seen them in so long its like making me sad. then im like 'wait its literally been less a week'#its not even loneliness like its literally just a fucked perception of time rn#prolly the worst ive experienced in a very very long time. or even ever
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im so fucking angry
#part of my family lives in Switzerland so we dont see them very often#so everytime they come we have a family dinner at a restaurant#but these past years the dinners were 'adults only' (as in without the children aka me my sibs and all the cousins)#me and my sibs were always bummed but we could see our cousins on different occasions so it was ok#and i absolutely hate my grandfather so im not that sad about not seeing him lol#anyway there was a restaurant dinner on tuesday. my dad said its adults only and me and my sibs cant come. whatever. business as usual ig#but then yesterday i hang out with my cousins. and guess what i learn. they were ALL at the dinner. they always went to the dinners.#and of course i cant be 100% sure but i think i know why it's like this#i think we were always invited but my dad doesnt want us to go so he lied everytime. doesn't want ME to go in particular.#he had lied to me about having told my grandfather i was trans for me (i didnt want to do it myself for reasons) which led me to get#absolutely humiliated and receive a disgusting amount of transphobia from my grandfather when i called him on the phone once. because he#didnt know. because my dad had lied to me. and im fairly sure my dad just wants to like hide me away or smth because he's a fucking#spineless coward. that or my grandparents specifically ask for us not to come lol.#anyway. im so mad. me already don't get to see our cousins a lot and now i learn this. fucking hell#.txt
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mom is bitching at me how i need to wear short sleeves TOMORROW, and just get over it
#‘you NEED to wear them tomorrow’ or what.#youre gonna take my phone away? im just AnXioUs and need to get the fuck over it?#woman youre lucky i dont fucking take my car and leave. youre lucky i don’t disappear without a trace.#‘we love you and dont care and dont judge!’ i understand that. i do.#but sometimes that just doesnt matter. you can say that to me all you want and ill always have a voice saying otherwise!#i cant just get over this hump. i dont know how to explain it to you but i just cant. its not that simple.#i cant just.. get up and get moving like you want me to. i dont know how to tell you that im absolutely fucking exhausted.#‘youve been taking a break for 6 weeks now’ and? i worked my ASS OFF. FOR 5 FUCKING YEARS STRAIGHT. I DESERVE A BREAK!#IVE EARNED A GODDAMN BREAK. IVE EARNED A FUCKING SUMMER OFF. THIS IS MY FIRST SUMMER OFF IN 5 GODDAMN YEARS WOMAN#i dont care if you think im being lazy. im sorry i dont work the same fucking way you do! but thats a you issue!#‘you need to get your life together’ WELL I DONT WANT TO! I DONT WANT TO RIGHT NOW! I WANNA BE A STUPID COUCH BUM!#i basically just learned that EVERYTHING. I WORKED FOR! IS USELESS! i pushed myself to the edge a constant amount of times over the past 5-#years for NOTHING. because i am incapable of doing anything without someone telling me to or holding my hand.#how do you expect me to know what to do with my fucking life when the life i thought i always had was just shattered?#ive trailed off my planned path! i didnt plan for this! i never thought it could happen! i thought id be PERFECT!#imagine being told your entire life how smart and capable you are only to fail right as someone isnt holding your hand anymore.#just#whatever man. if i dont wanna wear short sleeves i wont. if i dont wanna go outside i wont.#i didnt want to interact with the world anyways. especially after finding out that i dont fit in whatsoever.
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Naj lol wtf im killimg myself i suck so bad fuvk my stupid idiot gay retard sugoiijanai life im sorry ily i am so sick of myself but i hope youre not expecting me not to experience the full spectrum of humsn emotion when you deign me w your presence for a total of like 2.5 months a year youre my best friend and you left me to grow up alone regardlesss of the nuance of whose lack of/fault thats fucked and i think im allowed to be upset about it just how am i meant to channel that in a non spiteful jealous insecure immature grovelling cunty way so i dont just wake up one day and fucking explode i can only radically accept so much about my life youre meant to be my baseline constant i wish/hope im the same to you we should be having fun and challenging each other to be better and keeping each other in check and helping each other its not even a fraction of the same digitally not that weve even called more than a handful of times these past 4 months you didnt reply to a single message i sent for a week and leave to go on reels half way through a discussion i waited 3 hrs to resume i get anxious interacting with you these days because im scared im wasting your time im too fucking sensitive and high maintenance and annoying and boring and Overbearing but you look so thoroughly fucking unphased by Everything this is all just so shit
Now i will do my best to pretend you arent going to leave again pretend theres no terrifying unstable life events coming up that ive got to face alone again pretend im done coming home to nothing pretend its all ok pretend pretend pretend i am simply a guy making plans with his friend a highway stretch away
#im fucking SAD tonight#im feeling a distinct feeling tho w?#christmas fucked me it wsd nive but it maxe me upset for many readond i slept throug.h half of it tho lol#i just want a hug and consoling pat then to watch you draw until i feel ok again i wosh that wasnt too mucb to ask#i wish you were still away so i didnt have the hopes to be crusbed in the first place#its little things like this that typically wpuld be relatively nothingburger id go home and be bummed for a bit#but now theres a comforting presence nearby and oh boy does my silly little brain crave a healthy smattering of pity and caring attention#killing myself#killing myself so bad#theres a certain role we fill nd without a definition or slotting into it we are uncertajn shapes brushing through a sharp cornered world#im genuinely so sorry for how i am but this is fucked up and you brought this about in the most gut wrenching then a careless way#and it spiralled from there#shit piles up and were both retarded but im really trying and im sorry#idk if you even thought much of what i said this aftetnoon but i feel fucking sick#waaah i had a bad day i miss you i want to see u#no#oh cool ok guess its the end of the wirlf and you hate me#FUCK MY LIIIFE FUVK FUVK FUVK FUCK FU K FUK FUCK FUCK FUCK#positive sidenote i love a* what a queen and j* even though she stresses me out are you going to get a job so we can move or no#kissing their messages to me sloppy style#side note 2 genuinely dont know how i feel abt this one in reality but ***** ***** ** *** ** **** *** **** *** **** ** ****** *****#my god
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#now i am absolutely playing and spinning the wheel of . am i going to get sad abt That .#i was a lil bummed abt it yesterday . byt at some point i think i did realise theres probsbly a reason#bc . there was absolutwly divine play happening yesterday . oh my fucking god .#but . anyway having to like rlly pull myself away formcthat glass is having . a negative . distortion#in my brain of some form idk. i cant talk abt it vut im trying to just .#bc while im typing this out and . stringing words tgth that makr No Sense to nayone#egen me sometimes#my brains doing some kind ofnsorting anf its . good? bc itd actually working through what the issue is or wtv. even if whats cominf#outbof my mouth or in text form makes no fucking sense#bc i know whats going on up there. i know that what im saying is helping some kind of dot and pattern so i can get over#whatever thr fuck is upsetting me . bc atp im not . ipset aby anything fucking NEW anymorem#im still putting away my past toys and knives!!!!! why !!!!! why am i still closing doors on old cycles ajd wounds !!!!#50/50 i have been ignoring it and not doing it properly . 50/50 theres stuff i havent been allowed to actually#heal from or access yet regardless. n i do see why ! bc i think abt how ive felt w some of these revelations#and know if id come to this or saw thus or WHATEVER 1 2 or even 4 months ago . provably wouldve done smth drastic . bc i keep slmost#fucking doijg dhit n i just . im not supposed to this time. i know that.#my job is to sit down and shut up. im supposed to docthis (mostly) on my own and without doing whay#my stupid ego wants to do >:( die
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CH3 [140K WORDS] UPDATE + A LESSON
Hi guys! sorry for the delay there was a reason for it
I fucked up my files and lost all the work I did over the few months for the chapter 2 rewrite...like all of it, im really bummed out about it. and like an idiot ive been playtesting the wrong, unfinished outdated chapter 2 lol
im ngl I did have a pretty long cry earlier which is why I took a while...and im crying now writing this lol
I know it's a wip and these things happen but I worked really hard on 200k+ words of chapter 2 to see it improved and to see it all gone and fucked up really really sucks. I value infamous really highly and am pretty hard on myself so when I dont feel like I deliver what I want to deliver it's really hard for me to move on from that. I was really excited to have this all out at once and now I feel completely disheartened. I know I just have to pick myself up and just get back to work and rewrite chapter 2 but right now im just really upset
anyway, sorry to kill the mood this is probably the worst vibe killer ever lmao I hope everyone is excited! I said I was going to release chapter 3 for band tier and thats what im doing. You'll play the prologue + chapter 1 but will have to input some variable stuff for chapter 3. I hope having chapter 3 can make up for the loss of chapter 2
Chapter 3 is 140K words.
What to expect:
perform the first week and see the outcome
quality time with ROs
drama
angst
there is an explicit scene with an RO (it's skippable) so be mindful of that !
forgot to mention that I am completely rehauling the stats (again) as well due to the new flavor text options in chapter 1 because I feel like the stats still dont encompass the broad range now that there's different canonical types of MCs but yeah not like it matters rn since you'll just input it in aha!
I find chapter 3 to be the most lighthearted of all chapters for me so I hope you guys like it. if there's any inconsistencies (there might be due to lack of chapter 2 context or whatnot), errors, passages missing etc etc.
ill be around to fix any bugs and stuff but I think im going to take a day or two to refresh because im really fucking sad lol
hope you guys enjoy it!
available for band tier
#update#authors note#forgot to add that the lesson part is me#being the lesson to fellow writers to back up your stuff lol#yeah :(
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tears snot and drool
words: 1.6k
warnings: 18+ ONLY! SMUT, DARK!RAFE, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, NONCON, R*PE, FORCED ANAL, kind of r*pe kink from reader?, p in v sex, unprotected sex, cum play, degradation, dacryphilia, brief male receiving oral and brief mention of fingering
“so good for me, darling.” rafe drawls out, his voice deep and smooth as he pushes forward, sinking into you. “so tight.”
“slow-” you gasp out when rafe pushes in again, his hips swinging into yours in a smooth motion. “slow down, please rafey.”
“you feel so good.” rafe says, ignoring your pleas, ignoring your hands pushing at his hips, trying to stop his thrusts, trying to squirm away, but he grips your waist, holding you down into the mattress.
“it-it hurts.” you plea as his fat cock juts into you, feeling like you’re being split in half.
“stop fucking squirming.” rafe grunts. he liked it at first, liked you trying to get away, knowing he was too big for you, but now he’s starting to get upset, wanting you to let him fuck you without the whining. “if it hurts, you wouldn’t be so fucking wet.”
you hear it then, the wet sounds every time rafe pushes inside you, your pussy squelching as he fucks into your wetness, falling down your body, making a mess of the sheets.
“im gonna bruise.” you complain, already feeling the soreness on the walls of your cunt, knowing when he fucks you again in the morning, like he always does, that its going to hurt more than usual. rafe likes to build you up, likes to fuck you with his fingers while you moan on his lap, and you appreciate him warming you up and stretching you open, but he came home in a mood, pushing you down onto the bed and stripping you, shoving his cock in your opening without any prep.
“i dont give a shit.” rafe grunts out. you’re supposed to be his little plaything, supposed to be ready to be a toy for him whenever he needs.
“stop, stop!” you whine, finally being able to move, even with his hands squeezing your waist so tight it hurts. you manage to get away, for his cock to fall out of your cunt. you try to move up the bed, body shaking as you feel tears sliding down your cheeks.
rafe moves faster than you can, taking those hands on your waist and flipping you onto your stomach. you try to get on your hands and knees, try to crawl away, but rafe presses his chest into your back, using his massive size to pin you against the mattress.
“no, let me go!” you shout, feeling rafes cock push against you, rubbing against your ass as his hand grabs your wrist, holding them together above your head, preventing you from fighting.
“this is what you get for being a fucking brat.” rafe spits into your ear. he reaches down with his free hand, grasping his cock, still splitting hard. he rubs the head through your pussy, wetting his length, but he moves past your cunt.
“no!” you squeal, trying to buck your hips, but rafe delivers a hard slap to your ass to get you to stop.
rafe presses his cock against your other hole, the tight ring of muscle not opening up to him, not when you are strung so tight, muscles clenching.
“fucking relax for me before i force myself in.” rafe warns, but you can’t, you can’t calm down as tears flow down your face.
rafe keeps the base of his cock held tightly in his hand as he shoves into your asshole, the stretch causing you to scream as he continues in, slowly, but only because he can’t move any faster with how tight your squeezing him.
“it hurts so bad, stop, please, fuck my pussy, just stop!” you beg, willing to let him destroy your cunt if it could keep your ass from hurting this bad.
“its too late.” rafe says, rocking his hips forward, moving one hand to your ass, gripping the flesh and spreading your cheeks open for him, your hole already turning bright red from his abuse.
rafe eventually opens you up a bit, allowing him to move faster as he pounds his hips down into you, a slapping sound every time his skin connects with the plushness of your bum.
you give up, give up on trying to get away as you sob into the mattress, not caring that you are staining rafes sheets with your tears, snot and drool.
“dont cry baby, you’re gonna make me fuck you even harder.” rafe smirks, liking seeing you like this, trapped under his muscles, hands held tight above your head, a complete wreck.
“i hate you.” you grit out, twisting your head to see rafe out of the corner of your eye, his jaw slackened open in a moan. you bare your teeth to him, the pain obvious on your face as he continues to fuck you, your cunt still leaking onto the bed.
“i know you do. and you’re still gonna let me fuck you.” rafe says. he’s done this one too many times, used you when you didn’t want it to happen, only for him to apologize and shower you with kisses, getting you to spread your legs once again for him.
“no i wont.” you vow, vow to yourself in the moment, but despite the pain, it feels to good, too good to get rafes attention, even if it meant him violating your asshole. you’d be back. you’ll always come crawling right back.
“whatever you say baby girl.” rafe laughs, mocking you as he moves deeper, making your feet kick out uncontrollably, unable to help the movements as sharp pain stabs through your insides. “want me to touch your clit?”
“yes.” you cry out, knowing the pleasure would help distract you from his cock splitting you in two, breaking you in half.
“tell me you love me then. tell me you love my cock, that you love me forcing myself on you.” rafe spits out, moving his hand from holding your wrists to grip either side of your ass, moving faster as he puts every pound of his weight into every thrust.
“no!” you shout out. you can’t say such sweet words to him, not when your nails are clawing at the sheets and he’s pumping inside of your ass. not right after you told him you hated him.
“then you don’t get to cum.” rafe says. he wants you to cum, he always does, he just prioritizes himself first.
“fine!” you whine out, lifting your hips up, wondering if a different angle will help the pain, and you let out a low moan when the thrusts suddenly become pleasurable, at least somewhat as he hits a new spot inside of you. “i love you!”
rafe smiles, moving a hand to your clit, rubbing over your sensitive bud without caring how harsh the rough pads of his fingers feel.
“you gonna cum for me little whore?” rafe questions.
you don’t give him a response, but you know he feels the way your clit pulses underneath his fingertips, still able to force an orgasm out of you despite the state he’s put you in.
“want me to cum in your ass? or should i fill your pussy up?” rafe asks. “switch to your other hole, breed you?”
you’re on birth control, and rafe knows it too, but it doesn’t stop him fantasizing about filling you up, making your tummy swell with his kid, just another way of possessing you, owning you.
“fuck you.” you manage to grit out, hating the semblance of choice, as if rafe won’t do what he wants, like he always does.
rafe smirks, knowing you are about to cum as he moves faster, jackhammering into you at a blistering pace, all from his need to get off as well.
you feel his cock swell inside of you as his fingers pinch harshly at your clit, trying to get you to cum in time with him.
“fuck!” rafe shouts out, releasing into your ass as you cum as well, your high hitting you like a brick wall as you scream out, rafes nails digging into your clit as his cum floods your ass, long spurts filling you up.
rafe collapses against you, his hand moving from underneath you on your cunt as you ride out your orgasm with no stimulation, making you whine as his weight squishes you, taking the breath out of your lungs.
rafes breathing slowly returns to normal while you struggle underneath him, tears still flowing down your cheeks.
he finally manages to move his tired muscles, kneeling over you before pulling his cock out, watching as his cum begins to spill. rafe places a hand on your cheek, spreading your ass open as it falls out in white globs.
“such a tight little hole.” rafe pushes his pointer finger against your skin, rubbing the cum around. “i’m gonna have to play with it more often.”
you press your face into the mattress as his finger enters you, not caring that your cheek is now pressed against the wet spot of your saliva and snot.
“please.” you manage to whimper out. you’ve had too much for tonight. you can’t even fight him back, can’t clench your ass to stop his finger from entering your abused tunnel.
“fine.” rafe sighs, pulling his finger out, but not before slapping his hand over your ass. “but my cock is still hard. pussy or mouth?”
you move as rafe does, flopping down against the bed, his head on the pillows. you lay yourself between his legs, thighs still shaking, but glad that the mess that is your private parts is going to be left alone for a while as you grasp his cock in your hand, sinking your lips down, wondering how much longer he is going to play with you for tonight.
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @rvfecamerons
#woof this one is a doozy#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#outer banks smut#obx smut#dddne#dark!rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fic#rafe fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x reader#rafe x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe fanfic#rafe cameron x you#dark!rafe x reader
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Extremley Urgent Action Needed
Hi everybody i hate to to it but im in a realy bad spot and ive been pretty much bummed out really badly lately and lots of people on here are actually being really bad to me constantly and telling me lots of mean shit all the time and im pretty much in a super bad spot because im mentally fucked up badly right now and the theres some some holidays and shit comign up and i dont give a fuck about heaven or hell cuz my life is fucked anyways and going to shit so i dont know how it could really get worst but i pretty much want to treat myself and practice self care by making the right choices for me and getting shit that i really want as a gift to myself since nobody else will ever get me free shit since im a societal freak and a piece of shit apparently and something i really want is a Cast Iron Money Man
So the great part about the guinness Stout moneyman is that on top of making me enjoy my life for once in my fcking life if i had him it would teach me how to save my coins and put them in a safe place so they dotn keep falling down the drain because whenever im counting my pennies and other brown or shiny colored coins its always in the sink cuz thats the only place not filled to the brim with stupid shit i keep finding LOL i keep finding shit on the ground and in the trash and its often interesting as fuck shit like a stick that would be realy goood for turning into a weapon if needs to be if i was attacked from every angel a great way to fight them and a perfect advantage to have is to have the range advantage so if the thieves and other bandits were coming at me with knives and shit i would be able to bash them with my stick and maybe break there bodys while im at it and i could legaly say i killed them to defend my self and all my other shit so anyways theres tons of shit everywhere and since i just throw away my dishes when im done with them because they are way to dirty and beyond even the level to get it cleaned no more cuz shit is dried on there and wont come off if i make it wet i just gie up so that means theres never shit in my sink exept for the coins when im counting them but the big problem is i dont have a money man made out of cast iron to keep my coins safe so they fall down the drain and when i try to pop them up by dumping oil in the drain and using gargage disposal switch it just crunches them up and shoots fragments into my glasses and always breaks my glasses so i always have to get new glasses since they are always breakign whenever i lose my coins but the big problem is since i dont have my coins no more since they all get all torn up and shit its super hard to afford new glasses or food at all even though i dont technicaly have to eat its always fun to eat yummy shit so please consider to send me money to help muy shit as fuck mental get better and invest in my prosperity i promise u it will trickle down to u and u will benefit from my well being im actually working on a new CD right now with dope as fuck music but its realy really hard to be creative when i dont want to get out of bed because im always hung tf over from drinking a shit load of top notch gin a the pub all night and feeling super depresed basicaly my Guinenss beer Shaped money man would be a perfect way to solve my problems let me know if u want to help by clicking the beer above and giving me money to spend on my cast iron money man
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Bro wtf im alive!!
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ONE PIECE MEN
As shit from the groupchat
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C/W: swearing, NSFW, mentions of suicide, general shit post stuff.
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Robin, Franky, Brook, Chopper, Usopp, Ace, Sabo, buggy, Shanks, Crocodile, Doflomingo
NOTE: Schools back and its been super fucking busy + plus im hyperfixated on bulders gate and game of thrones rn
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Luffy: My balls dropped insted
Zoro: Peburty
Zoro: How tf do u spell iy
Zoro: Pubesraty
Zoro: Pubes
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Sanji: Valentines more like. Suicide
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Buggy: Ur so wacky
Shanks: *wanking
Shanks: 109 mph dick slaming in and out of this dirty half full starbucks cup i stole from a homeless crack addict (im imagining its ur tight boy pussy asshole)
Buggy: Shanks.
Buggy: Stop.
Shanks: Erm no!
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Franky: Teachers should NOT say nice things to me (i have a praise kink and daddy issues)
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Nami: Bro i gotta shit so bad
Usopp: THEN SHIT BRO
Nami: Im in the car
Usopp: Oh
Usopp: THEN SHIT AT SCHOOL
Nami: I am NOT shitting at school
Usopp: PUSSY
Nami: this was all a trick girls dont shit
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Brook: Im so excited to drink today im actually shaking #slotmachines
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Luffy: Happy Monday!
Chopper: It is NOT Monday my guy
Luffy: ... the shotgun is in my mouth
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Franky: Bc l've got another day off
Franky: Should I come visit
Robin: YES
Franky: Hmmm
Franky: If I get bored I'll ride up
Robin: Then ill ride u up
Franky: What time u guys got recess and lunch
Robin: Get u preggo
Franky: SHIT
Franky: ILL BE THERE
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Kid: just punch the customer
Law: nah I need that shit to traumatise them, I need the customer to be rude to me and I start levitating in the air while chanting and blood pouring out my eyes
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Kid: When parents let their kids order and its like "what's that fetus, your learning to speak!! Yeah well spell trombone, didn't think so faggot"
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Ace: U stick ur dick in ur bum and get urself pregnant
Ace: 2024 lets make it happen
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Sabo: "Emo!" So close! I'm actually wearing the skin of your mother
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Doflamingo: OK BUDDY DEGRADE ME MORE IM THIS CLOSE TO EXPLODING IN MY PANTS
Crocodile: MOTHERFUCKER WHAT
Crocodile: YOU DIRTY CUNT
Crocodile: WAIT
Crocodile: NO
Crocodile: YOU PERFECT HUMAN BEING
Doflamingo: NGHH (reverse psychologyed your ass)
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Sanji: Ouchieeeeeeeeeeee my back hurtsss urghhhhh i wish their was a big sexy latina to sit on my face, only to make the pain go away of course
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Nami: Guys i close the store in half an hour and im boooooredde i already finished cleaning wveryhringggg
Robin: Okok pro tip
Robin: Do u have pens?
Robin: Hand sanitizer
Robin: And paper towel
Nami: Im gonna just finger myself
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Franky: That was my son 3 years ago before the incident...
Brook: Was the incident me whipping the nae nae! YOLO cash money dab on them fortniters
Franky: No
Franky: Big Foot stepped on my unborn baby
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Law: If i die i wanna be reborn as an electric chair
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Killer: Cheaters are dick beaters - Shakespeare probably
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Sanji: You are quite literally the most cutest girl I've ever seen
Luffy: Bro my dick actully smells so fuckimg bad, it never smells bad do i have aids
———————————————————
#zorosleftmantit#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece headcanons#one piece funny#headcanon#one piece x you#crack post#monkey d luffy#god usopp#luffy x reader#zoro x reader#sanji x reader#law x reader#killer x reader#kidd x reader#shanks x reader#buggy x reader#crocodile x reader#frobin#brook x reader#doflamingo x reader#nami x reader#robin x reader#ace x reader#sabo x reader#a03#anime x reader#one piece crack#one peice
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but like . . . yandere loser vampire partner that somehow doesn’t have game even after 200 years of living. and dom reader why not we miss em.
the only thing going for them are their looks, extensive knowledge about niche topics, and natural body glitter (like omfg i would become a vampire myself if it means im permanently covered in shimmer-)
they were in most of your classes in university but never appeared unless it was for exams. apparently they had a ‘skin condition that made them extremely sensitive to the sun’ and were therefore excused for classes. a student was usually paid to hand them notes.
that student was your friend. they were a bit of a bum if you were being quite honest. the only thing that urged them to complete the job was money. but after being too lazy to do it so many times, the job was thrown over to you to agonize on.
you quickly find out that your friend was underplaying the pay significantly after the first check. this student must have been the kid of a rich billionaire cause goddamn you didn’t know who the hell else would pay a grand for every subject you completed.
i’d say that you feel kind of bad receiving all this money and therefore improved your note-taking skills out of the kindness of your heart but i mean c’mon you’re reading from my blog- you definitely tweaked it just to earn more of that sweet cash. even drawing doodles at the wee hours of the night and little mnemonics you thought up.
yan sees the effort you put and begins subconsciously keeping your notes in better places. they find themselves grinning like a madman whenever they see that one character you drew that dumbs down some parts that might be too difficult to understand. you even provided translations in subjects that use two or more languages.
yan, despite being already down atrocious for you, never makes the initiative to meet up. they have however, already made extensive research on you. so much so that they’ve made several papers on just your magnificent self.
and so came the time you offered to meet with them. mostly cause y’know, connections with a rich ass dude would be great, but also because you were curious to see who tf pays someone this much to go to school for them.
and you then you meet this socially awkward, super shy, speaks hella old and formal (insert preferred language/dialect here), and oh they’re like super fucking cute it’s actually making you have that sort of aggression you get from pets/toys.
oh.
you want to fuck this dude’s brains out alright.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere oc#yandere imagine#yandere x you#yandere fic#yandere oc x reader#yandere core#yan core#yanderecore#yancore#yandere vampire#yandere loser#yandere scenario#yandere concept#yandere idea#yandere blurb
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