#FUCK MY LIIIFE FUVK FUVK FUVK FUCK FU K FUK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[crushingsterilisation]

Naj lol wtf im killimg myself i suck so bad fuvk my stupid idiot gay retard sugoiijanai life im sorry ily i am so sick of myself but i hope youre not expecting me not to experience the full spectrum of humsn emotion when you deign me w your presence for a total of like 2.5 months a year youre my best friend and you left me to grow up alone regardlesss of the nuance of whose lack of/fault thats fucked and i think im allowed to be upset about it just how am i meant to channel that in a non spiteful jealous insecure immature grovelling cunty way so i dont just wake up one day and fucking explode i can only radically accept so much about my life youre meant to be my baseline constant i wish/hope im the same to you we should be having fun and challenging each other to be better and keeping each other in check and helping each other its not even a fraction of the same digitally not that weve even called more than a handful of times these past 4 months you didnt reply to a single message i sent for a week and leave to go on reels half way through a discussion i waited 3 hrs to resume i get anxious interacting with you these days because im scared im wasting your time im too fucking sensitive and high maintenance and annoying and boring and Overbearing but you look so thoroughly fucking unphased by Everything this is all just so shit

Now i will do my best to pretend you arent going to leave again pretend theres no terrifying unstable life events coming up that ive got to face alone again pretend im done coming home to nothing pretend its all ok pretend pretend pretend i am simply a guy making plans with his friend a highway stretch away