#but the reason i havent gotten new ones and let these ones run out is bcs of the same exact reason

[variksel]

at what point am i to blame for what adhd does to me. at what point is it "adhd made it fucking physically impossible for me to focus today so i didnt do much work and hate it" versus just "i didnt do much work." am i allowed to feel shitty about it or is that just wallowing

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[velvetypoets]

Mister pitch perfect

The perfect Gryffindor golden boy has gone off his rails to catch a Black daughter.

Warnings: James Potter x reader fanfic, James is down bad, I tagged marauders but no peter, Slytherin reader, Black family reader, reader is portrayed as she/her, reader centric, forbidden love trope, SFW, James perspective

havent done this in a while and this will be the first time im posting on this platform. im very sorry if its quite messy!

this was supposed to be a oneshot but i drag it too much. so it'll be some sort of a series oneshot? will also be posted on ao3 soon!

————————————————————————————————————————

It was never meant to be. James Fleamont Potter was basically molted into the perfect specimen of man and every soul who has ever walked Hogwarts knew. Sure he would cause trouble every then and again with his fellow mates. Yet of course, James would always dazzle his way out of it with a few charming smiles or reasonings to squeal his way out of being blamed.

He was confident, charismatic, spotless.

And when he meets eyes with you, it was set. James is sitting at his usual spot with the marauders at supper when the moment arrives. You were fixing your necklace to your neck at the Slytherin table, struggling with the clasps as your face scrunches in frustration. James almost walks the whole way over to you and offers his assistance right then and there.

"Stop undressing my cousin with your eyes, Prongs," Sirius brings James back to reality with a slap on the back of his head. He seems to still be having his feast so that was new of him to pick on James in that setting. Remus raises an eyebrow as he stares at the two, "Since when do you care about the other Blacks?"

"That was foul, Pads!" James yell as he rubs his head and glares at his mate, he's used to Sirius playfights but that slap seems to be sincere. He tries to focus on the conversation as he tries to find you again on the table across. You seemed to have moved next to Regulus as he helps you with your necklace. James lets out an involuntary sigh.

"She's different, Moony. She's on the edge too. Pretty sure she's going to find a way to run when she hits 18," Sirius lets out a scowl, "Heard she is to be arranged with Nott. Bloody brilliant that."

"Nott? That Nott? Surely you're joking. That bastard can't even keep his owl alive for a week! How's he going to keep a wife that young?!" Remus exclaims in disbelief. Whipping his head to take a good look at you now that you're a big deal. "I wish I was. I love you but seriously mate, don't. You're big enough trouble yourself," Warns Sirius with his fork right to to James face. A juicy piece of meat dangling right on it.

He bites it though. Sirius lets out a shrieking squeal of, "My meat!", erupting laughter at the Gryffindor table as James chews proudly with a sly smile across his face. The boisterous sound turns a few heads, including yours. Your brows raised at the sudden commotion, only to have the red of your cheeks creep in as you find one of your cousin being the center of it. He watches as you rub your cheeks to hide the tint.

James gulps the meat down. He's quite full himself but he must admit, it's nothing like he has ever had.

——————————————————————————

The next time he sees you, you are sitting by yourself writing in parchments on a patch of grass by the lake. James is in a broom practicing to catch the golden snitch on Hogwarts grounds. Quite foolish but he's gotten bored of the arena and its currently being used by the Hufflepuff team anyways.

He's worried about you sitting all alone in this breeze though. It's quite cold and you don't seem to be wearing enough layers. He keeps a distance near a tree so as not to scare you, although he is quite discontent with seeing just your figure by the lake.

You whipped your head to the skies behind you, "Reggie? Is that you?" You ask calmly, your eyes not missing the shadowy figure blatantly hiding behind a tree, "I saw you from the reflection. Very funny, Regs."

James cracked a smile at your sarcastic tone. He even finds your voice perfect. He fixes himself a little before he reveals himself off the shade and lands in front of you, "So I'll take it you find me quite funny?"

Your eyes widened as you process the man in front of you. Why would James Potter—the Gryffindor golden boy—be here? And why is he talking to you now?

"You're not Reggie." You said still in shock, almost sounding like a question. Your brows are raised as you try to study his demeanor. He's holding his broom awkwardly in his arms, you've always thought James Potter's confident composure was permanent.

"Well if your standards of humour is a certain Regulus Black, I'm sure I'd be comical, love," He cracks a small smile and a hand extended to you, "Potter. James Potter."

You look at James like you're Newt Scamander finding a newfound beast, "I know who you are. Everybody does," You said in disbelief, finding the whole situation suspicious. The breeze of wind moves his curly hair to his face, framing it gracefully, "What I want to know is why are you doing this? We're not exactly fit to be friends."

"Why that's quite bold of you, lovely. Who said I'd like to be friends?" He said as he leans closer. You never noticed it before but his glasses are rather clean today, his hazy eyes look at you with glimmer in them you've never seen on anyone before. You think to yourself if its one of the charisma of being James Potter.

You stood your ground, you would have never thought to ever be face to face with this dazzling man in front of you. You are a Black though, your legs won't give in even if you try, "Well that's settled then. Are you here to pick a fight?" You ask him plainly, crossing your arms upon your chest.

James finds it adorable, he knows full well of his effects on people and especially of course girls. What he doesn't understand is the effect you have on him. "The contrary, darling. I have a proposition for you."

You lift a brow and yet let him continue, "I heard you're in quite the predicament with Nott. Now I know a way to get you out," His claim makes your eyes open, you let him continue. Words dripping in confidence, "A date. With me."

This time, you can't help but let out a laugh–of which James can't help but take in the sight. He's completely enamoured.

'What? Huh– Hold on. You can't be serious," You looked at him as if he had gone mad, the thought of a Black and a Potter dating is out of this world, "I don't know what kind of prank you're up to, but do you seriously think I'll fall for that?"

"Wait, I am serious! Picture this, if Nott knows you're going out with me he'd be livid, enough to break off the arrangement. I mean have you seen the way that scum looks at me? It's like he has this permanent face of eating vomit flavoured Bertie Bott's Beans!" He rants as he joined in on the laughter with you.

You are smiling as the laughter reduces to giggles. As stupid as it is, it has a good chance of actually working. You pondered, there's still one thing on your mind, "What's in it for you? Would I have to do anything?"

James let out a smile, his palms are sweating like he's deep into a Quidditch game, "Well I get to see Nott lose his bride—" He pauses, confronting himself whether to tell you the real truth or not, "I mean I'll also get a beauty on my side."

You roll your eyes at that, "Don't you try to charm me, Potter. Give me the real reason or its off. I have a feeling you need this more than I do,"

She's right, James thought. He was about to play it off if you denied it straight away, he wasn't entirely sure you would actually take him seriously. He grasps the sight of you for a bit before closing his eyes tight, "Okay, how about I tell you the reason in a week— Maybe a month. You don't have to do anything, we'd just go out like normal couples do. Sounds good to you?" He said, he extends his arms to you for a handshake. His thoughts full of prayers to Merlin so you wouldn't notice the tremble in his arm.

You grin the same one James had seen a million times on Sirius's face, the Black's grin of content. You shake his hand firmly, his big ones almost encasing yours, "You've got yourself a deal, Potter."

James is using every atom on his magical being to control his ecstasy as he smiles widely at you. Once the handshake is done he reaches for his scarf over his neck and wears it on you, "Nice doing business with you, sweetcheeks. I do hope you start wearing warmer clothes though. No snogging will be done if you're in Pomfreys care."

She looks good in my color

Well technically so is the color of a quarter of the schools because of course its a Griffyndor scarf.

"You surely don't expect me to go back. To my dorm. Through the halls, the stairs and the common room. With this on?"

Oh I won't regret this one bit, James thought. He chuckles at your words dripped in such a sarcastic tone, "Of course not, darling. Do you think I'm mad?"

He extends his arms for you to hold, "We'll go back together. Through the halls, the stairs, even the common room. I heard you folks have lovely parties there."

You let out a chuckle as you circle your arms around his, "Oh, the best ones. Your Gryffindors ass is so not invited though."

"Well at least I do have a lovely one, don't I?"

"Oh shut it, Potter!"

——————————————————————————

Another storm of commotion is coursing through Hogwarts. A lot has played it off as a mere prank. James grins at the thought of it. He has only you on his mind lately, cherishing the bits of conversation you and him had.

He's on his way to charms class this morning, one that inconveniently does not have you in it, he checked. He checked your schedule last night sneaking through administration with the invisibility cloak.

Moony and Pads by his side as usual. Sirius seems to still haven't caught wind of it, his hair tousled from a good sleep. Apparently he was up all night helping Remus solve a 10k piece magic puzzle.

Won't be long with how loud the students are gossiping though. James let out a coherent sighs. He had an amount of grins with knowing looks from a couple male students and even a pat on the back by a random Slytherin, "Alright, what is going on?" Remus breaks first. Stopping the two boys right before the class door.

James crackles a laugh, "What's going on? Nothing's going on, mate! What?" Moony lets out a drawled scowl on him, one he makes when he pieces that they're in some kind of trouble, "Why is everybody on Hogwarts up your pants then, Prongs?!"

Sirius yawns as he hugs James by the side to lean his head on him, "Yeah... Saw that too even if my eyes were closed the entire walk. You can tell us mate, come on," He does notice the lack of scarf on his mate's neck though, none in this rapidly chilly morning? "Prongsie, where's your scarf? I could really use a pillow here–"

"Oh! Thank Merlin! One second late and I would've thrown this in the bin. Here, take this off me," There you are with James Potter red and yellow scarf on your hands, just coming out the door. All three boys were quite startled, "What? Wait. This isn't your class," said James. His eyes land on the presence of a Slytherin scarf wrapping your neck. James wishes he could take that one instead.

"Yeah... I'm sort of risking being late to Dark Arts for this but I can't take the whispering anymore. I might square the next person who even looks at me!" You told him, your grip on his scarf tightens and James wishes the fabric would stretch upon your nails.

Sirius is well awake now, his bagged eyes darting between you and James as if you're both insane, "Hold–Hold on! What is this? What is happening, Why do you have James's scarf?" He cuts, going between you and James to put a distance and blocks James view. Remus gives James a 'he did warned you, mate' face at the side.

James on the other hand, in too much of a thrill of seeing you this early in the morning, "You could also just admit ya didn't want me to get cold, love. Thanks for the thought there," He said almost shouting as he stands on his tips to try and see you from above Sirius's head.

You let out an annoyed grunt, "Ugh I don't have time for this. Here Siri, give this to that stupid friend of yours. I'd like to keep my Dark Arts seat next to Cissy and Malfoy's been eyeing it like the vulture he is," You throw James's scarf to your cousin's head not caring if it covers his vision, it earns a few chuckles from nearby students. He trashes to take it off and looks at you in betrayal.

You're about to run off to Dark Arts and leave your cousin and his foolish mates when your feet stop and turn you back, "If you still want that date to happen. Expect my owl, Potter. She's a snow named Emerald."

"Oh and it is lovely to meet you, Remus. Do take care of my sod cousin and my idiot boyfriend. Make sure they're out of trouble," You smiled sincerely at Remus, you actually do admire him a little. You love dark arts and your professor rants and rants about Remus's talents.

Remus seems taken aback, but that would make the three of them. You left after he reciprocated your smile and responded with a polite, "You too, (Y/N)."

And as such, you scurried off in a rush to go shoo away Lucius Malfoy from your seat and save Narcissa. Leaving behind a bewildered Remus, an angered Sirius, and a lovestruck James.

James keeps his eyes on you until you turn the corridor, a stupidly huge smile stays on his lips. He turns to find the reality of Sirius's wrath upon him. Remus is quite literally holding back Sirius with his whole body, it's quite an advantageous turn of events that Sirius hasn't had his proper sleep yet.

"Boyfriend! Boyfriend?! When did you even– How is this— Let me go, Moony! He's going to have an earful!"

He definitely will get that earful later. James grins an apologetic smile at Remus as he picks up his scarf that fell to the ground. He could already smell the sweet of your scent from a distance.

Remus lets out a huffed noise, "You really do always get what you want don't you?"

James doesn't reply. He wraps his own scarf on his neck, embracing the warmth it does to his skin. Your scent crashes onto him like tidal waves. A tint of rose blooms on the pale of his cheeks.

He smiles faintly at the open skies over the hall window. He wishes for an owl he hadn't even met for safe travels.

[cerberus-new-owner]

I've returned with yet another headcannon / rant thingy on the brothers / everyone buuuuuuuuut anyways

so we all know about the devilswitches and if i remember correctly the devildom equivelant (is that the right spelling??) of mario kart is devil kart or smth idrk what im on about rn lol buuuuuuuuuuut (and this has probably already been talked about before i just cant remember/ havent acctually gotten that far into the games) who would be the best at the game other than levi (in my opinion, sorry if this is a bit ooc)

so without further ado the list from best to worst out of the brothers in my opinion at the devildom equvalent of mario kart with explainations (theres a summarised version with the dateables at the end for those who dont wanna read my ramblings)

Levi - do i have to explain why

Belphegor - he and beel seem to be the ones who hang out with levi the most (other than mammon but he steals more than he plays) so i feel like with their own mini game nights beel and belphie would've picked up some form of skill when it came to the multiplayer games levi owns also i get weird speed demon vibes from belphie i know his sin is sloth and all but i feel like he'd be eerily good at racing games

Beel - pretty much the same as belphegor but he doesn't give me those kind of speed demon vibes like belphie does when it comes to video games and stuff he gives me more 'I'll play if you guys want to play' kinda vibes yet still manages to get a decent score everytime cause he would have picked up some form of skill from playng with

Satan - lets be honest he probably plays the game secretly when he doesn't have anything to read or do purely so he can be better than lucifer at family game nights whenever levi gets to chose the game, satan probably has a secret chart of the games his brothers tend to chose most offten and any new games that enter the house of lamentation mans is doing the most he can whilst still being secretive to master as many of the games in the hol aspossible just so he can hold it over luci's head the only games on his chart that he hasn't been able to master to a point where he can beat lucifer are the games lucifer choses on the gamenights

Lucifer - i dont know man i just feel like lucifer would be better than mams and asmo at the game

Mammon - he's literally just getting distracted by the coins on the track and blabbering on about the coin limit and how he can hold so much more grimm than that before attempting to prove himself by asking (begging) his brothers for grimm so he can prove his point if they decide to give in and hand him some grimm so he can prove his point he's dropping all of it trying to run way with the grimm in his arms before sheepishly returning with a singular coin in his hand picking up some of the grimm he dropped

Asmodeus - lets be so for real right now he probably refuses to play this game because he hates how focusing so much distracts him from time he could be spending pampering himself or making sure his nails are painted just the right shade or the fact that when most game nights are happening they start to eat into his precious beauty sleep (dont worry asmo i get you i should be sleeping rn) he probably only participetes in the games he knows he'll win in (aka the games he gets to chose) or the games where he can team up with someone and have them do most of the work (usually satan) if he's acctually plaing this game with everyone else he's acctually not he's going through every character and talking about their outfits before chosing who he dubs the cutest for that night and then making the cutest cart he can to suit the charcter until one of the other brothers gets bored and tells asmo he can sit out of the game and just watch

if i were to add the others the list would probably look something like this and i dont wanna write that much so i'll just summarise my reasons for everyone

levi - the reasons are obvious

belphegor - like i said speed demon vibes

barbatos - also gives off speed demon vibes

beel - some sort of stange skill gained

satan - wants to be better than luci

solomon - wants to get a pact with luci

lucifer - would just be better than asmo and mams

diavolo - he just wants to enjoy the game

luke - no particular reason other than it'd be funny to watch mammon lose to him

mammon - idiot

asmo - beauty sleep / pampering self / takes to long to decide

simeon - i love simeon but lets be honest he probably wouldn't even be able to use the controls

if anyone acctually read through all that thank you if you just skipped to the summarised part also thank you it makes my day to know someone at least looked at these (expecially this one it took me atleast an hour between me playing mario kart and me getting distracted) i may return with more ideas that may not be original but i've put my own spin on dont expect any big fics maybe a drabble or rant here and there but if i do decide to continnue posting obey me content it will most likely be dumb little headcannons like this or funny things i find in the games as i continue to play them through (for the third time in the past 2 years, barely made it past lesson 18 and then my laptop died so i had to restart) (

forgot to add this before posting buuuut) I hope everyone have a good night/day (evening, morning, breakfast lunch?? diner????)

racing to the masterlist

[nrc-confessions]

Okay here’s the whole story I apologize greatly for how long this is

So today I was cooking lunch for myself at Scarabia, (I sometimes have to cook for myself if the cafeteria doesn’t have any of my safe foods that day) and I heard someone enter the kitchen. The dorm was mostly empty so I expected it to just be some other Scarabia student I’ve never met or smth

Lo and behold, it wasn’t, it was Kalim

Me and him share a class idk if I’ve said that (new spider anon lore 🤯) and he’d gotten injured during P.E this morning so I figured he was at the dorm as well, but I assumed he’d be in his room. It wasn’t anything bad he just fell off his broom and got kinda bruised up but Jamil was still flipping his shit

ANYWAY I finished cooking and ended up sharing some food w Kalim (side note he’s eaten my food before and I’m always rlly touched abt it bcuz Ik he struggles w eating food that Jamil didn’t cook and just knowing he trusts me that much is hnnnnnng) and once we finished eating he asked if I wanted to go carpet flying

I knew he was exempt from class bcuz he got hurt but I still very much had to go to class around this time, but I was not about to miss this opportunity so alchemy be damned

We’ve gone carpet flying once or twice before but from what I understand Kalim takes rlly anyone he feels like carpet flying (including paw anon fuck you calliope I havent forgiven you) so I didn’t think too much of it but at this point I was already gay panicking so this didn’t help

Anyway we get on the carpet n all that and I was kinda starting to zone out of a few reasons, the main being i have a slight fear of heights and I was kinda exhausted cuz I’ve had a tough past couple weeks but I was also zoning out bcuz I tend to do that while in close proximity to kalim

So I went kinda quiet and just hoped he’d keep talking and wouldn’t notice (also bcuz I love listening to him ramble) but he went quiet after a second too and then asked if I was okay, and I quickly said I was fine and went back to being silent but he didn’t keep talking so it was kinda awkward for a second THEN HE FUCKIN “are you sure you’re okay, habibi?” And I almost fell off the carpet

I made a comment abt how I was just rlly tired and ended up kinda rambling then I rambled a bit too far and said like ‘and you know how I get around you’ but I laughed it off and hoped he didn’t notice but he DID and HE TOOK IT THE WEONF WAY cuz he assumed that meant I didn’t like being around him??? And so I tried to elaborate without outing myself which was rlly hard and I think he caught on but he didn’t say anything so I just kept talking and digging myself a deeper hole but then (this is where I get really pathetic) I looked at him and he just had the most gentle patient expression on his face and I just started sobbing bcuz no one’s ever looked at me like that and i can’t properly process my emotions NORMALLY much less when it’s him then he kinda panicked a little bit but then he hugged me out of nowhere and I was NOT okay but I also kinda needed it so I just kinda sat there and cried into his shoulder for a few minutes and he was like whispering things some of it was in English some of it was in Arabic and I don’t know if it was making me cry harder or helping but he was like running his fingers through my hair and I just couldn’t take it anymore and I completely lost grasp of my emotions and ended up saying I love you without even realizing it then as soon as I realized it I panicked and let go of the hug and apologized but he just put his hands on my face and looked at me with his pretty fucking eyes and said it was okay and I lost all ability to breathe

Anyway he kinda like came closer and I was expecting him to hug me again but then he like moved his hand to my shoulder and used the other one to move my hair out of my face and I just completely lost it everything I did from here on is a blurry haze I was fueled by exhaustion and Gay panic but I lunged forward and kissed him AND HE KISSED BACK AND PUT HIS HANDS IN MY HAIR AND I STARTED CRYING AGAIN but then he brought thr carpet back down and I ran off to class and I’m currently typing this while half listening to Crewel yell at me but uh that happened

-🕷️

Thank you for your confession!

[obitv]

thinking about. the upp. and how it would be for them to see william again after his accident

picture it. ok. they obviously Know he came back since its a pretty big fuckin deal. but they havent gotten to see him. so theyre just sitting around together kinda.. apprehensive i guess. since nobody but his parents and doctors have seen him and theres crazy rumours going around. theyre quiet and subdued because nobody wants to Say "hey, what if our best friend is dead and something replaced him" but theyre all thinking it. until they see william come through the treeline to their meeting spot where everyone had been sitting - and theyre all shocked because he looks. he looks normal!

maybe paler, sure, little tired, but he was already both of those. yknow your friend disappears into the woods and comes back youre going to be wary. but mary looks at him and she KNOWS the only way to really tell is to just. try talking to him. and she runs up and she tries to hug him and shes tesring up and - she goes through him. hes translucent. but she blinks again and hes fine but he looks TERRIFIED like he just saw the face of his worst nightmares. and he reaches out a hand and grabs her arm. and he grabs her like nothing was ever wrong. and she can see in his eyes how scared and worried he is and how the relief of being able to see his friends again is overshadowed by the gnawing fear that something is Wrong. but she can TELL thats still her best fucking friend and she hugs him anyway and they both cry, for their own reasons.

and.. maybe from the angle nobody epse even - even noticed! yknow? maybe they can both just . just write it off. but they both know they cant just do that. and what should have been a happy reunion is derailed by the latest mystery. one thats a LOT more important than any strange noises someone heard after dark ever was. and with Sight, yknow- they can all SEE if hes haunted. they can see if he has some new spirit clinging to him. and maybe they can all collectively decide to just.. not msntion to him, that he leaves the faintest trail. just a faint, wispy light blue afterimage, barely noticeable to anyone without powerful Sight. and maybe cory sees that william has a small aura of blue flames, that could just about be a trick of the light if not for the way it follows the way he moves and is present in every light. but hes not haunted, so hey! and hes still acting like himself,hes not attacking people, or acting more impulsively than normal, or forgetting important memories, none of it. so if they all decide to not let him know a few things...

well. what harm could it do?

continuation/alt pov of this ficlet <3 read more about my version of the upp here!

[despite-everything]

im

just going to write this out because i need to get it out somewhere and dont know where my little audio recorder is. i know its hard to live with parents for a lot of people, and i knew it'd be hard for me but thats really hitting right now.

today wasnt the worst, but it also kinda sucked. some geriatric asshole stopped his working vehicle in the middle of the street for no reason, and nearly got me t-boned because of it, then i got an energy bill for a place i dont live despite cancelling the policy in july, then i got a message from my insurance agent saying my policy would be cancelled if i didnt pay (but nothing was due?) and then when i tried to call i learned that this house often doesnt have cell signal in the afternoon. i eventually managed to talk to the insurance people and got that sorted, but i couldnt get through to the energy people, so that's still unresolved. im still rattled from the car thing - i was almost killed in a car last year, so im very sensitive around crashes and near-crashes (no flashbacks today, though, so thats better than the last near-incident i dealt with). tomorrow my dad and i fly out to visit his aging parents - his dad is basically wasting away and his mom is losing her mind, so its a bit of a lets-visit-one-last-time thing. i havent seen them since 2018 and rarely talk to them, but i know theyve fallen down this horrible fox-news-christian-conservative hole lately, and before that they werent great, so i have a horrible feeling this trip is just going to be painful and sad. i know that best-case-scenario, we talk about nothing meaningful at all, and they dont comment on my appearance. but they're going to hate it. and if they actually knew me, they'd hate me, too. and i feel bad leaving my cat behind to live in the basement for 3 days - my stepmom will look after her, but she's going to be very lonely. so there's that, too.

but honestly i needed to write this out because my dad and i were driving our dog to the park to let her run around and we were listening to the radio. he asked me why i dont always use my radio voice, and i told him its because it takes extra effort to stay low and smooth for the persona and the microphones, and that after a few hours its tiring. he said he knew that, but then basically asked again - i tried to get him to clarify, but he didnt have the vocabulary to explain it, so he tried to mimic my voice (i guess?) and it was fucking mean. like i felt my heart drop and almost teared up immediately. i said something like "haha i don't sound like that" and he doubled down and said i did. and the thing is like... i know my natural voice is a bit nasal. im from texas and was raised with a mother and an aunt with nasally, high-pitched southern accents, and i inherited some of that. i HATE my natural voice. for years, any video taken where i spoke at all, i hated rewatching it. i thought i sounded annoying and could barely fathom people wanting to be around me. i hear any recording of my self earlier than 2021 and i want to turn it off and erase it completely. i don't think i'll ever get over that hatred. but as i've gotten older, my voice has dropped a bit. and i make a conscious effort to have much less of a texan accent (some words still trip me up - aisle, line, fire, wild... "i" is hard to not sound texan on), and i try to sound "smoother" and more pleasant. but i know i don't always succeed, especially if im excited. and the thing is, my excitement is always too much for my family. it's annoying and immature and overwhelming, apparently. so my entire life i've tried to tone myself down, but sometimes i fail, and sometimes i'm so wound up and anxious i fail then, too. and i know it's annoying, but jesus christ that imitation hurt.

when i tried to express that, my dad got pissed and was like "thats just what you sound like" and i said something along the lines of "you don't have to mean about it" and he got more upset and was like "im not being mean you just sound like that. but fine. i just wont bring it up ever again" and im sitting in the passenger seat thinking... what am i supposed to do? what am i supposed to say? if i cry, he'll get even more upset and think im overreacting and being immature, but todays already been hard (to self-regulate earlier, i bit my arm so hard i accidentally drew blood, and screamed so loud in my car my hearing was temporarily dampened, but while that helped, it didn't fix anything), and i could cry any moment. and my mind just loops back to the impression of me, which was startlingly similar to his "whiny voice" he uses to mock assholes. it just felt fucking awful and yet i felt kinda crazy because he keeps saying he didnt mean it in a bad way, and he isnt the type to play mind games but my mother did that sort of thing all the time, and i was tired and upset and wanted to go back home. after the park, i tried to continue the conversation, but never really understood what part of my voice or cadence he was referring to,but i think i smoothed things over enough. but it just sucks so much.

im living with him and my stepmom right now as i look for a job, and im more than an hour away from any of my friends. while i could drive to see them, it doesnt make sense to waste that gas when im unemployed and heading for the airport in the morning tomorrow. and i dont really call my friends. i could, but its not a thing we do, and i honestly would just want to say what this post said and then move on. i just wish i had company. but im outside trying not to be eaten alive by mosquitoes but theyre getting me through me jeans, so i just have to suck it up and go inside to wash the dishes.

[mortuaest]

Large rant, sorry. Please ignore if any of the trigger warnings are going to be an issue. I need to get it off of my chest because if I rant on FB I get hit with a character limit and I should make a personal Tumblr which I think I have but dont remember shit about.

Ive been having severe, and I mean severe as fuck mental and emotional breakdowns because of the fact that its literally been almost a year (Its going to be a year October 29th) since I've had to put down Ice Cube, my ESA of 14.5 years. He had cancer in his cheek and it was placed right to where it would effect his quality of life severely negatively if we tried to surgically take it out, and he would possibly die on the table if we did it because of his age, and he was declining (He wasn't eating, he was drinking, he really wasnt eating as much as I wanted him to, he was spitting back up the pills I was giving him, he was suffering) and my mental and emotional health has been severely suffering each and every day that passes without him.

I have another cat, I got him in April, thinking I was alright. Which I was I guess. Im being reminded via FB memories and just my own fucked up brain wanting me to join him to where I'm legit giving myself until December 31st, 2023 to have someone. Anyone give me a fucking sigh to keep on living. Im going to be going through a program my friend suggested to make a will, making her I forgot the words she used but shes going to make sure that my will is listened to and Albert Whisker, the cat I have now is taken care of.

I cant keep on living, and the fact that this heartbreak is fucking me up so badly to the point where the large baggie of medications (ranging from insomnia medications to Very STRONG painkillers and such, as well as my daily medications the day of me going to attempt) is very tempting to take now. And I mean very tempting. Meaning I almost took it yesterday, after my first mental break and me physically hurting myself by slamming a brush ungodly hard into my head because I legit believe I deserve everything that has happened to me (The physical, emotional and mental abuse that I got for 20 some odd years from my mother, the severe car accident from last year, the rapes, everything. My friends being murdered or dying around me, loosing the only thing that even brought light to my life).

No one in my life cares. No one seems to care. Ive been severely struggling and each time IVe even bothered to reach out for help via friends. Since my father hates me for being trans and my sister doesnt give a fuck to even bother to help me. My mother was the cause of my two rapes/sexual assaults in my life and wants me dead because Im autistic. No one wants to help, or no one seems interested in even keeping me around.

Cosplay isnt helping. Video games aren't either. I havent felt any happiness since last year. I could deal with this if he was still alive. But at the same time Im lying to myself, I havent known what made me happy other than my past cat Ice Cube. I stayed for him since I love him. I had him since he was five weeks old. We bonded. Its not the case with Albert and I feel he loves me but we dont have the connection and never will.

Im never going to feel anything other than severe misery and depression. At least, that's what I 100% believe.

TLDR: Im severely struggling and dont know what to do anymore. I dont trust my new therapist even though she has stated more than once and my friend who also goes to her has stated more than once she wont send me to inpatient or CPAP and she tries to avoid hospitalization if we can. But because of multiple decades of PTSD, abuse, and being denied the proper treatment, help, support from friends and family that I should of gotten Im at the point where Im giving myself until December 31st to find a reason to stay alive and if I dont then Im letting my queue run out.

[nathank77]

10/22/24

10:27 a.m

You want to know what scares me the most about poison ivy and why I can't be normal about it?:

1) its invisible, colorless, you can't feel it on you until the rash breaks out.

2) it can spread from object to object or location on your body like your hands to multiple other locations.

3) what if you have it on your hands and spread it all over your face and genitals and ass

Now you need a bag to poop in bc your asshole is swollen shut. Now you can't pee cause your junk is swollen shut.

Now your face is covered in a rash and if you're like me and you have mrsa and eczema, that can make it worse and scarring.

What if it messes up your nerves on your junk and you can't orgasm ever again.

4) it can spread in the washing machine from one article of clothing to others.

It can spread in the dryer too...

5) it can take up to 21 days for the rash to develop!!!!

And if you don't know what caused it, like say it was your hoodie sleeve and you just washed it. It can spread in that washer to multiple pieces of clothing.... and you can keep getting it!

6) you can be immune to it the first time or even a lifetime but at the same time, you could be immune to it for let's say one exposure and then become not immune to it the next time.

Only 15% of the population is immune to it and immunity doesn't last a lifetime in most people..

7) it looks like every other weed in the world..

8) it can stay on a pair of shoes or gardening gloves or fabric for YEARS.

And YOU CANT SEE THE OIL. SO YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS THERE UNLESS YOU IDENTIFIED IT CORRECTLY AND PURPOSELY TOUCHED IT.

9) it can cause eyes and mouths to swell shut!

No i havent gotten it yet, but I'm living behind a barricade while Riley runs around the rest of my house and i live in fucking fear that it's on every single surface.

I'm so sick of letting this dog control my life bc I try to reduce crating time, arranging my errands in such a way that she isn't in there long..

My mom wants her out for her own reasons. I want her out for my reasons but no one wants her at the humane society in a kennel. Not even me..

And if she ever leaves, which I'm starting to think. Cleaning the shower everyday is my new life and fearing poison ivy everyday is my new life, that even if she leaves, I'll still need poison ivy clothing....

Why?

Cause she touched everything. The sofa, the chairs in the dining room. EVERYTHING. So when i sit with my mother I'll have to change into poison ivy clothes. For months to even years I'll be worrying about exposure.

The dog is now free roaming the yard bc she won't poop on a leash and liv doesn't have the same fears as me so I'm sure she's getting into other areas. NOT TO MENTION WHEN SHE RAN AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

My mom is aggravated with me and the dog. With me bc when I said i was done and put the barricade up i meant it.

She's aggravated cause skye and liv aren't trying hard enough to rehome her. She keeps chewing on things.

I'm just sick of feeling like my life is in danger.

When I say if I get poison ivy on my face, dick or asshole I'll kill myself i mean it.

And the funny thing about ocd is:

1) I WANT TO LIVE AND MY FEAR IS THAT SOMETHING AWFUL WILL HAPPEN TO ME AND ILL HAVE TO KILL MYSELF.

[aquadreamsiac]

dreamed last night that i was in an anthropology and they were having a secret sale? on these kind of cute kind of ugly pajamas like it was the last few so the prices had been cut to basically nothing. the woman helping me was so enthusiastic she was kind of like miss lady from glow up with the huge glasses. she was saying LET ME GET TKMAXX ON THE PHONE THEY'LL RESELL THESE BRAND NEW PAJAMAS AND THEN YOU CAN HAVE THE MONEY THEY'LL PAY US. just so enthused by me getting a good deal. i was with freya, we left and on the street people from taskmaster were running by and so i ran to join them, we were kind of joking and jogging, some of my parents friends were there too and suddenly some of my uncles? the streets were clean and colourful with flowers dotted around. My uncle asked me about a tattoo on my leg which was new, i was like omg this one!! totally forgot i had gotten it i havent moisturized it or anything! it was an abstract design of a desert, with a glass i think and a desert plant and a vase. for some reason i was topless but i was like deal with it welcome to the human body bitch. we were in somewhere that looked a bit like chelsea/Kensington. OH AND THEN me and freya had got some new sex toys and we were trying to test them out... they were kind of unorthodox shapes lmfao? and we kept getting interrupted.

[yusei-amamiya]

Ive been a pokemon fan since more or less the early days of pokemon, i didnt get into it as soon as it started though, as when the craze for it started when i was living in mexico.

I was staying with my grandparents so i could learn to read and write in spanish, when my family came to take me back to the states, my younger brother showed me pokemon cards, and as soon as we started watching the show i was hooked. Funny thing is, for the first 2 of the 3 gens, i didnt actually buy the games, it wasnt until diamond and pearl came out that i started buying the games myself

When i moved to Georgia, my uncle had gotten his children some gameboys and funny enough the games he got them was red and blue, my cousins let me and my brother play them, and that was how we played our first pokemon games, in the end my cousins didn't care for pokemon and gave us the games

When gold and silver came out, my brother and i begged my dad to buy us some gameboy colors and gold and silver, which we ended up getting for Christmas

For ruby and sapphire tho: this is my fondest memory of pokemon and the one of the reasons why hoenn is my favorite gen. my family had moved to a new apartment complex and my brother and i met some neighbors kids, it was 2 brothers and they called out to my brother and i after we had settled in, we hung out and i noticed they had both ruby and sapphire and we talked about pokemon, the younger brother was the one obsessed with pokemon and the bigger brother didnt really care.

When we talked about his game progress tho, he said he was stuck in the first town and couldnt figure out how to leave, and im like let me see if i can figure it out! it was my first time playing sapphire and when i saw the starter pokemon i gasped, and i saw that his starter that he picked: treeko, was already a lv 65 sceptile and he was basically running around the first town beating wild pokemon, i can only imagine how long he was doing this for because the exp from lv 3-4 wild pokemon give to a lv 65 sceptile was mediocre! I was shocked honestly but i figured out how to leave the town and get him going to the next area.

Thats when he came up with an idea, he asked if i had a gameboy advanced and i said yes, and he handed me his brothers ruby, he said his brother doesnt want to play so he wants to race me to see who can beat the game first after after a couple weeks of playing, i beat him and beat the champion first despite him having an almost lv100 sceptile by the end of the game lol in the end he let me keep the ruby, that challenge was alot of fun and i enjoyed my friendship with them, in the end i had to leave that apartment complex and my friend gave my brother his sapphire in exchange for some yugioh cards he wanted

I went on a long ass speech here but after all those years i still love pokemon, even if some of the recent games havent been good, i still enjoy them for what they were, and ill keep playing pokemon for as long as it keeps going

[lightningfury13]

i promise this isnt meant as like an accusation or anything (just warning bc shits been so tense) how can you focus on the transphobia in harry potter and not the antisemitism? i would say the new game is far more neonazi propaganda than it is transphobic. id look into what jewish people are saying about it if you havent and let your husband know, too. i dont think you guys are nazis or evil or anything its just good to know what antisemitism looks like since bigots try so hard to make it acceptable

Sorry. I've never gotten an ask before I only just noticed this. Uh. I guess because I have a lot of trans friends the transphobia of JKR was highlighted for me. In the game itself however there are transcharacters and character creation was ambiguous. Which was unexpected but nice.

Watching him play and hearing the antigoblin(antisemitism) was jarring however. I had forgotten the canon perception of goblins as irredeemably evil one note creatures I guess. I've been in the HP fandom community with fanfics and headcanons where goblins are usually given respect and agency and history with fully fleshed out rounded characters and backstories and all of that. So in my HP headcanon goblins are people. Period. Over hearing the racist slant from characters in the game was shocking to me admittedly.

From a writing perspective I get it I guess. Someone has to be the bad guy in the video game and in most fantasy settings goblins are an easy villain to cast. But not in HP where fans have decided HP goblins were modeled after antisemitic stereotypes.

Which I hate btw. Like say you're a writer and you want to write a bad guy. The Bad guy is motivated by money for complex reasons that might not get revealed in the story but you the writer know why. Maybe he grew up poor. Maybe he wants to retire early. Maybe he desperately carves the security having enough money provides. Maybe he's trying to provide for some secret cause he doesn't want anyone to know about. Maybe he's fueling a secret addiction to expensive spa treatment. Whatever. Doesn't matter. While writing what he looked like you used a randomize and got swarthy skin and a big nose. In your, the writer's, head you were thinking hmm pirate? Later you publish your story and are shocked when people start calling you a Nazi because your villain is motivated by money, has swarthy skin and a big nose. Three things you hadn't connected at all. Religion hadn't occurred to you when it came to this character and this is a fantasy setting so hereditary Judaism wouldn't come in to it. Suddenly you've been labeled a Nazi. You might even BE Jewish. How bizarre.

Do you think Jewish actors get denied villainous parts because the casting directors don't want to be accused of antisemitic? And that's not fair to the Jewish actors and so by definition is antisemitic. It's insane.

As for what actual Jewish people said about the game people are divided.

One quote is such: the U.K.’s Campaign Against Antisemitism said in a statement that “the portrayal of the goblins in the Harry Potter series is of a piece with their portrayal in Western literature as a whole” and “is a testament more to centuries of Christendom’s antisemitism than it is to malice by contemporary artists. So it is with JK Rowling, who has proven herself over recent years to be a tireless defender of the Jewish community.”

This comes from this article from the Jewish Telegraphic Agency

I recommend the full article for a more complete viewpoint from a Jewish news source.

[archie-sunshine]

So i think i would honestly gut the writing for both of them, star and megs in cbv are CUTOUTS to me.

im focusing on megs because his is worse BUT anyways

I would more solidly establish his character from before the war in the flashback episodes BEYOND just having him be a pit fighter and optimus' friend, his reasoning for rising up, his bonds and ideals beyond the 'well hes megatron so we can ASSUME its equality/retribution against the upper class'

Then, i would take the burning endless fury they injected into megatron, and dial it back JUST a little. I enjoy angry megs as much as the next guy, but i don't love when megatron is more bloodthirsty than he is calculating. He can be brutal, and cruel, but CBV's megatron is vitriolic in his hatred towards starscream in such a way that it makes me question why he kept him around in the first place.

On that note, then I think i would establish how megatron and starscream met, where their relationship started, and in what ways starscream COMPLIMENTS megatron to give a good reason why megatron has typically in the past let his betrayal slide. Most megatrons keep their starscreams for one of two reasons:

Option A(currently on display in CBV): megatron tolerates starscream because megatron believes starscream has a skill or purpose that makes him useful.

This is most often the case. currently, in the show this is likely just that the seekers listen to him. bad motivation, relationships need to be born of more convenience than that, especially since if megatron is charismatic enough to raise an army, he may be able to give starscream a run for his money on earning the seekers' favour. (i havent watched the show in like almost a year, sorry if im wrong)

Option B: Megatron tolerates starscream for an emotional purpose

now we can get juicy here. It is inherently irrational for any GOOD megatron starscream pair to ONLY subsist off of usefulness. If i was writing CBV's starscream and megatron(or just about any starscream and megatron) with a relationship in mind i would dig into their connection to one another, and try to examine where the beginning of their relationship might have had more affection in it.

IDEALLY, i would incorporate a mixture of the two, coming around to how i would portray the two in my hypothetical rewrite

Megatron and starscream meet during one of megatron's first public speeches, before he had any following beyond his group of likeminded friends, and spent most of the time heckling him. afterwards, their rivalry got smoothed over by starscream offering to help him practice his speeches.

As their movement progresses, starscream is the one most often encouraging demonstrations to turn violent, and megatron, noting that that's what gets him the most press and attention and new recruits, turns his strategy towards starscream's approach(he always was a man of action (gladiator backstory)). This puts a wedge between megatron and optimus.

skipping forwards to the era in which the main story takes place, megatron and starscream are still a little more at odds with each other, but it's got more of a petty and mean tone to it than an outwardly violent one. Megatron thinks starscream has gotten more reckless as the war has gone on, starscream thinks megatron is holding him back and sitting in his rightful place. They keep each other around out of usefulness to everyone else, but to each other, its mostly out of spite.

their entire relationship would be founded on a contest to see who REALLY gets results, and its spiraled out of control until that playful in fighting has turned into all out war. Mutually, they both have silently agreed without asking that they are going to be the death of each other, and so it's never really a surprise that the other tries to betray them, that's been the rules from the start.

Anyway yeah.

i havent watched cbv in a while

How would you make Cyberverse!Megastar less toxic?

well first of all id make cbv!megatron well written, and i think that would take care of a lot honestly.

[marblerose-rue]

requests r still open btw!!

[renaisaibaam]

good nights sleep.

xiao x female reader

CONSENSUAL somnophilia

shy xiao sobs

im writing this drunk help

plot who? just smut

xiao didn't think his first time would end up like this.

hell, this shouldn't even have happened in the first place if it were not to his carnal desires that overtook his body like it was forced to be put on autopilot.

his hips shudder as he continues to pound into your dripping cunt that he's holding up with his hands that were digging into the skin of your own hips, your sleeping, clueless form only making his blood rush to his cock even more than how much that was already in it.

just what exactly happened?

you had already told him about what you were into, and one of them was something he never thought existed until now. being devoured while sleeping.. just how in the hell was he going to act on that? you constantly reassured him that if he ever wanted to that it was fine, but he didn't really remember it. hell, he didn't even take you yet. there is no need to rush, he tells you and himself.

he taps his foot on the floor and looks up, arms crossed as he patiently waited for your arrival. you had informed him that you were going to a party in mondstadt, and that you'd be home late, so here he was, in the couch inside of your teapot's house, the room quiet until he hears the click of the door opening.

"im home.." you called out from the doorway, setting down your shoes on the entrance. xiao peeks from his position, and stands up to walk over to you, giving a kiss on your forehead, an action he has grown accustomed to when you two had started dating.

"how was it?" he asks, coming back down on the couch. you whine and set yourself on his lap, taking off your coat and letting it fall to the floor as you spoke.

"it was so tiring! i'm not having it anymore, thank god venti didn't make me drink or i'd have come home a drunk mess." you pouted and rest your chin on his shoulder, lazily wrapping your arms around him as you closed your eyes.

"well, i'm glad he didn't, otherwise i'd have to take care of you." he laughs and gives your hair a gentle pat, kissing the side of it softly. he notices your breathing getting slower, and you getting slightly heavier, to which he speaks up on.

"are you falling asleep?"

"no i'm not." despite the immediate retort, your tone is quiet and quite obviously drowsy, your body not even moving from how sore you were from walking all day.

"if you're going to sleep, go wash up and change. let's head to bed together." he speaks, lifting you up and taking you to the second floor where your shared room is. he kicks the door, and gently sets you down on the bed, staring down at your figure.

"can you wipe me down and change me? i'm too tired." you yawn and snuggle up into one of the nearby pillows, the adeptus growling at your behaviour.

"come on, don't be lazy now." he tries to nudge you off, but before he knew it, you were now snoring, a sign you were fully asleep and that there was no way to wake you up. xiao sighs in annoyance, but pulls you by your ankles closer to him, starting to take off your clothes despite his earlier protests.

he has seen you naked countless times considering you and him take baths together, but he didn't think about it much. he goes to the bathroom to grab a wet towel, and comes back to wipe you down with it, starting with your arms.

now this is where he starts to have his thoughts.

he never thought about it, but your skin was smooth and soft to the touch. he didn't get to touch it like this. the towel moves down to your neck, making sure to be gentle so he doesn't accidentally choke you. he stares at the skin of your throat, the pretty skin that he wants to mark and leave patches of red, blue, and purples.

he gulps, and trails it down to your torso, trying to shake away the thoughts and continue to wipe you down. when the cold cloth hits your breast, you jolt up and let out a quiet moan, xiao getting a shock from your responsiveness. he was about to stop, assuming you were awake, but when he looks up to see you still asleep, the blood starts to rush to his cock.

what the hell? why did you look like that? is this what you meant by liking this somnophilia you spoke about to him?

he swallows, a rather thick sounding one, and lifts up your leg, wiping down on your inner thigh so he can finally finishing things. his face is red just thinking about it, and his pants are getting tighter by each second. but he comes through, and spreads your legs to properly wipe your crotch, hesitant. he brings the cold cloth down, and when it comes in contact with you, your hips jolt, and this is when all his reason is thrown out the window.

next thing he knows, your legs are up on his shoulders, and your cunt is on his mouth, his tongue feverishly tasting you without any hesitation.

though he was eating you out rather sloppily, it was a surprise that you managed to stay asleep and let your body do the reacting. you were practically dripping on his mouth, and he loved the taste of you. one of his hands holding you up moves to thumb on your clit, the palm of his hand pressing down on your abdomen. though you were asleep and showed barely any reactions, the new sensation from his hand making you let out a whimper and have your hips buck into his mouth.

xiao growls, and lets go of your pussy, letting your hips back down on the mattress. he lets your legs rest on his hips as he starts to unbuckle his pants that had been tight for quite some time now, and feeling his cock be released from the restricting fabric has him sigh in relief, scooting in closer to rub the underside of his cock in your dripping folds.

it's now that he realizes that archons, he's about to take you. in your sleep. your first time with him. but with how far he's gotten, how can he back out?

he lines his tip into your throbbing hole that has been stretched with his tongue, and slowly pushes in, the tightness making him grunt. he looks up at your face to see if you're reacting, and when he sees nothing but a flushed but sleeping face, he pushes himself all in without thinking.

although it was his action, the heat enveloping his cock causes a shock on his body, and if it weren't for his amazing restraint, he would have shot his load inside you then and there. archons, it felt so good. his breathing is heavy, and he looks up, wondering if you had waken up from the sudden penetration.

but you didn't. you were fast asleep, and your sleeping face edged him on to continue.

and so this brings us back to where we started.

his hands lift your hips up to be able to slam his hips into you easily, growling at the new found pleasure he was experiencing. "god, taking her like this in her sleep.." he mumbles to himself as he pounds into your dripping cunt, his nails digging at your flesh. drops of sweat were dropping into your stomach from his forehead, and his breathing was ragged. god, you felt so good around his cock. he knew an addiction to your pussy was forming from this.

he feels his high coming, and his hips move into you in a rushed pace, rutting into you as he finally cums and shoots his load inside you without thinking.

'god, god god god..' he thinks as he slumps down while still being inside you, taking a moment to catch his breath. he was spent and beat. he leans back up, and looks at your cunt thats stuffed with his cock, the sight of it making him shudder. god, so pretty.

he thinks of pulling out, but seeing you makes him think 'to hell with that!' and lifts you up so you sit on his lap, thrusting his hips up into you and continuing ravishing you. the sounds of his cum inside you make the lewdest noises, but it only arouses him further and makes his impact rougher, his arms keeping you up by letting you lean on him.

xiao didn't know how much he played around with your body, but he made sure to clean you up and dress you after he was done. the morning light hits his face and when he opens his eyes, he sees you up and running, looking rather fresh as you spoke in a jolly tone.

"good morning, xiao! god, i havent slept that good in ages!"

he stares at you, and the memory of last night comes rushing in, and his cheeks turn pink, turning even darker when you turn around and make him see his cum dripping out of you through the short shorts he put on you.

[thelovelylolly]

Perfect

Summary : You were the perfect padawan and jedi knight. You had everything in line and under control, which may or may not have caused you to catch Obi-Wan Kenobi’s eye.

Warnings : None :) the only thing is the reader is depicted with having longer hair, or long enough hair to pull into a bun. (also not proofread bc im lazy)

Notes : instead of us simping, how about he simps for us? am i right guys? also the start isn’t my favorite and a lil weak. also pt 2, sorry i’ve been dead for over a month now, i havent had motivation to write that much and school is ending which meant testing :) hopefully ill get my motivation back so i can pump out more fics

Ever since you were a youngling and padawan, your master and other jedi praised you for being the perfect example of a new jedi. You got all the training forms down quickly, you were in control of your force abilities and you were always on time to everything.

It wasn’t even hard for you to do so, it was just natural for you. So that’s what stood out Obi-Wan Kenobi the most. You and him had classes together, bunked near each other and advanced around the same pace. You two were knighted around the same time as well.  

You even helped Obi-Wan out when his padawan, Anakin, caused him stress and trouble. Especially during the Clone Wars. You were a very put together general and your clone squadron was highly renowned, so you were ready to go help 501st and, if needed, the 212th. In Obi-Wan’s eyes, you were perfect 

Now, here you two were, working together again. You were on Obi-Wan’s star destroyer and the two of you, along with both of your clone squadrons, were tasked to go check in on a planet. The Republic had gotten reports of Separatist forces trying to turn the planet against the Republic. You and Obi-Wan were standing around a hologram of the planet with points highlighted where there were attacks.

“I saw we spread our forces out in order to reach all those areas quicker,” Obi-Wan commented, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

You put your hands on your hips. “I agree with General Kenobi. Cody, go tell the men our plan. Once we get on planet, we’ll split into groups then and spread out,” you replied.

Cody saluted you and left, leaving you and Obi-Wan alone. Your gaze fell on Obi-Wan, who was avoiding it. “General Kenobi,” you said, breaking the silence.

His head flicked towards yours, a little bit of blush forming on his cheeks. “Yes General L/N?”

“I’ve been sensing your emotions shifting a lot lately, is everything alright?” You asked, your head titling to the side ever so slightly. Your question made Obi-Wan’s blush increase. 

“Uh,” he paused to clear his throat and think of a excuse, “it’s nothing, just some stress with Anakin is all.”

You hummed as a reply and nodded. “Well, we should go get to the transport ships.”

-----

The trip to planet was easy and so was splitting up. Your men, along with the 212th, were assigned a area of the planet to patrol. Once everything was evenly divided, there was still a little bit of land to cover. It was a flat plain of tall grass with a few tall mountain formations in it. You and Obi-Wan both volunteered to cover it with land speeders.

A transport ship dropped you and Obi-Wan off with two land speeders, once again leaving you two alone. You two prepped your bikes and small amount of supplies you had. The sun was close to setting on the planet and you two planned on only taking a few hours. You pulled your hair into a neat bun so it wouldn’t become a mess from riding your speeder. Obi-Wan watched you and how the late day sunlight made you look as if you were a golden goddess.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked, snapping him out of his thoughts as you mounted your speeder.

“Oh, yes,” he quickly replied, following your actions. The two of you set off towards the setting sun, scanners ready and eyes peeled for any separatist action.

A little while into your patrol, you were getting tired of being quiet. Twilight was setting in at that point. “Do you wanna talk about your stress with Anakin? I know you mentioned it earlier and it seems intense, at least from what I can sense,” you said louder than usual, since you were speeding through tall grass.

“Well, um,” Obi-Wan paused to think of a excuse again, “I think him and his padawan are pulling risky moves in their missions.”

“Don’t they complete their missions successfully?”

Obi-Wan mentally slapped himself. Anakin and Ahsoka were very successful their missions, of course you’ve heard about them. “Uh, yeah, well-”

“Bandits.”

“What?”

“Bandits, coming our way on speeders,” you said, switching the gears on your speeder so you could speed away. You turned right and Obi-Wan followed you. After a few moments, you two saw the bandits still on your tail. “We have to shake them!”

“Let’s split up! I see four, we can each take two,” Obi-Wan replied. You nodded and turned right again while Obi-Wan turned left.

You were doing fine until you looked behind you and saw one of the two bandits following had their blaster rifle out and aiming at your speeder. You gasped as they shot. You jumped right as your speeder exploded. Luckily there was tall grass beside you so you weren’t that hurt from the fall. You had to act dead though, you sensed the bandits coming to check that you were.

Obi-Wan heard an explosion behind him and looked, seeing your speeder blow up. His eyes widened as he thought he worse. He quickly made a sharp turn with his speeder and turned around, causing the two bandits following him to crash into each other in confusion. 

Obi-Wan sped over to where you were, seeing the two other bandits speeding over to him. He jumped off his speeder and grabbed his lightsaber, activating it. As the two speeders were barreling towards him, Obi-Wan simply inhaled and exhaled. Then raced towards them, slicing through both of them. The bandits jumped off their destroyed speeders and hopped onto Obi-Wan’s, stealing it and riding off. Obi-Wan stood their for a moment before deactivating his lightsaber and running to find you. 

You sat yourself up and rubbed your head. Obi-Wan quickly made his way over to you and crouched beside you. “Did they take your speeder?” You asked.

“Yes, come on. I think I see a cave not to far from here. We can stay there for the night and you can contact Cody. My comm link was on my speeder,” Obi-Wan answered, helping you up. Your hair was messy now from the fight and your clothes were dirty from falling on the ground.

“My comm link is a little bit busted, but I think the tracker still works on it. We can activate that once we’re safe,” you replied, following Obi-Wan as he lead you to the cave that he had seen.

--

Obi-Wan was able to make a fire while you tried to fix your comm link’s tracker. You two sat in silence, the fire crackling every once in a while. Obi-Wan watched as you worked, so focused on what you were doing. Some of your hair had fallen out of it’s bun, framing your face. Obi-Wan smiled to himself.

“There, I think I fixed it,” you said, breaking Obi-Wan out of his trance. You pressed a button and moved over to the opening of the cave. “It may take a while to reach the ship since the signal isn’t that strong. I think setting it over here will give it a better chance to reach.”

You sighed and leaned your head against the cave wall, a wave of tiredness washing over you. 

“If you want, you can get some rest. I’ll take first watch,” Obi-Wan said, moving over to where you were so he could see outside. You smiled as a thank you then closed your eyes. 

You were making it harder for Obi-Wan to ignore his feelings for you. Attachments were forbidden by the jedi. With you being the perfect jedi, he didn’t want to be the reason you messed up. No matter how much a struggle it was for him.

Only a little bit in his watch, he felt something heavy fall on his shoulder. He looked over and saw your head there as quiet snores escaped your mouth. Obi-Wan smiled then went back to watching outside. Though, it wouldn’t be long until he got tired and leaned his against yours as he fell asleep.

--

The morning light shined through the cave entrance and woke you and Obi-Wan up. Your fire had died out a while ago, only the ashes and burnt ground left behind. Your comm link was right where you left it. You got up tiredly and picked it up to check on it. 

Obi-Wan stretched a little while you looked around outside. Moments later, you went back into the cave. “There’s a transport ship landing right now,” you said, taking Obi-Wan’s hand and leading him out.

He felt his face heat up at your touch. You didn’t let go of his hand as you two watched the transport ship land in the field below. “Obi-Wan, one last thing,” you started to say.

“What is it?” Obi-Wan replied.

You pressed a kiss to his cheek before letting go of his hand and making your way down to the transport ship. Obi-Wan smiled and touched where you kissed on his cheek. He watched as you met up with Cody in the field and started to explain what happened on your patrol together. Obi-Wan sighed happily before making his way down to you. You were so perfect to him.