#friendly word of advice

[crowwwzy]

Lay all your love on me ~

[i-really-like-phrogs]

When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy

[assistingpaws]

Welcome to our blog! We plan to help plurals of all kinds with problems. From to questioning plurals to plurals simply seeking out advice. We have a main on here but we prefer to keep that unconnected to this blog for safety reasons! So if you believe you know our main, please refrain from saying it.

Inbox is open! (2/10)

Anon list

Byi and more under the cut

Byi

// pt: Byi //

Despite us having a dni on our main, we are deciding to mostly discard it so we can help more people out! Though there is one thing;

No radqueers are permitted to interact with this blog.

// pt: No radqueers are permitted to interact with this blog. //

We are way too uncomfortable to interact with rqs no matter what. We will not be debating on this stance. We dont want rqs here.

anyways. We do have some stances. Follow your own dni. We are Pro-Palestine and Pro-endo. Follow your own dni, I repeat.

(oh and we arent giving out our stances on anything else! as it really doesnt matter.)

Finally. 1. we are bodily a minor, please be mindful of that. And we ask if you plan to ask any question on willogenic practices, please dont. We do not know enough on willogenic systems in order to answer it properly. This doesnt mean willogenic systems cant interact, we really dont care if you do.

Edit to add on our host pet regresses so... follow ur own dni again lol

Mods + tagging system

Since we are going under codenames for this, I will list each mod and their tag under here.

Me, the mod typing this, codename is Mint! My tag is #Mints words! I am a caretaker in my collective and the main one. I will be answering general asks, and asks about roles and being a caretaker. I will also be the main one to make advice posts!

The host is codenamed dark purple, and their tag will be #darkpurple speaks! They may jump in from time to time

Mod gold is a protector/avenger. And will be using the tag #gold barks. They will likely be talking about their experances as a anger and anxiety holder. Asks about that directed to them are allowed.

Mod Navy has no known roles. Though they do act as a sourse of comfort and advice, they may mainly make advice post and help with role finding. Their tag is #Navys wisdom

And the final mod, Mod blue. They hold our more destructive urges and will likely answer asks and make post relating to it. They will try to help others who deal with similar, but will likely be paired with another mod for their own wellbeing. Their tag is #Blue splashes

#the void stares will be posts from other headmates who do not own their own tag. Thus they likely will not have one collective thing they will answer.

If you ever need to refer to us pronoun wise use either they/them, it/its, and paw/paws.

And that's it! feel free to vent (with the needed tws) to us or ask for certain mods in our asks!

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Someone should really do a study on substance use habits among asexuals specifically if they haven't already. I feel like the results, whatever they are, would be illuminating.

[starbuck]

“You Don’t Like Me” is one of the songs of all time for being about someone who is insecure that the person they like likes THE MORNING more than them.

[hollerinahorror]

Friendly reminder: Bombarding me with messages and getting mad because I don’t reply right away isn’t gonna make me want to continue our conversation. I have a life outside of tumblr and I’m not always on here to respond back right away. I’m not being rude or ignoring you. I’m usually busy with work and life in general, so I’m not on here 24/7.

If you want to be a dickhead and get mad at me because I don’t respond within 0.2 seconds, I’ll happily block you. Thanks.

[brownsugar4hersoul]

“A woman has to live her life or live to repent not having lived it.” | D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover |

[son1c]

Will you be making fanfiction based on your alternate Shadow for the sonic prime au, and most importantly will it be sonadow? I hope it is because I ship that but if you don't that's perfectly okay.

hi! i talk and i draw, but i don't really write. however, there IS a fic for bermuda that was penned by @the-gnome-zone and it's really good! you should read it! i endorse it 100%!

[autisticlee]

I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.

i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)

it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.

the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Reminder that wanting happiness for your partner should also extend to wanting happiness for someone you want to be your partner. This includes if the person you like turns out to already have a partner, or is just not attracted to you. They’re happy as they are, and if you try to force them into a relationship, you don’t actually want happiness for your partner.

You love them, right? Then continue to love them. Be a friend, be supportive, respect boundaries, help them, and just be a good person in general. Being a dick and hurting someone you love does nothing but show that person that you would never have been a good partner in the first place.

[explode-this]

What To Do If You Accidentally Took a Sip of Alcohol or Ate a Boozy Cookie When You’ve Had Problems with Substances, But You’ve Also Been Convinced You Have a Disease and Subsequently Are More Afraid of Yourself Than a Purse Dog is Afraid of Being Out of the Purse: A Holiday Guide

1. If it was accidental, it’s not your fault.

2. Even if it wasn’t accidental, it is not the end of the world. If you have been convinced of some form of black and white thinking, like “one drink might as well be 1,000,” know that this is a built-in “failure guarantee.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that ultimately gives you permission to binge by way of Doomerism. Do you want that kind of negativity in your life? Say no way, man! to anyone who has cast an edict of weakness upon your entire “constitution” with silly ideas like that.

3. With that in mind, this kind of notion can really imprison you psychologically, so the panic you might feel is real. Find something calming to do until you’ve come down from it. Phone a friend that doesn’t believe in the disease hypothesis and can talk you down from irrationality. Play a game. Go for a walk. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Color in a coloring book. Get a Where’s Waldo book and look for the weirdest shit in the pictures. Try a new podcast! Listen to audiobooks! I don’t know, what do you like to do that’s been deemed off limits by a religious mentor/sponsor? What have you been convinced is stupid and childish but doesn’t hurt anyone else and actually brings you great joy? Do that thing. You’re allowed to do things that make you happy, you know.

4. For doorknob’s sake, resist going to a “meeting” upon a “failure.” You might find some measure of sympathy and reassurance in “the rooms,” but you’ll also be surrounded by people who think the sky is falling if they pass someone smoking a joint on the street, freaking out about “contact highs” and whatnot, and that mindset is infectious. You need people in your life who have not been thoroughly indoctrinated and can see through—and thoroughly reject—the premise of the program. You certainly don’t need to hand in any “chips” and start over. Consider the contradiction of a phrase like “progress, not perfection” being in the same place as “you fucked up, now hand in your medallions and start over from step 1 because our goal of abstinence from substances actually constitutes a goal of perfection.” We are human beings. We fuck up. Fucking up once after months of not fucking up does not take those months away from you.

5. If you’re still thoroughly convinced that a meeting, calling a sponsor, or reading the “Big Book” are the answers, I’d like you to seriously consider this: read Chapter 8: To Wives, and then this analysis. Among other things, Bill Wilson was a craven butthole who wanted to control every step of the narrative—he was too dishonest to let his wife, an actual wife, write the fucking chapter! If a book was published today with portions addressing a given demographic as a member of that demographic that turned out to be written by someone decidedly not in that demographic, there would be an uproar and it would throw the entire publication into question—yet somehow this chapter is yet to be removed from the Sacred Text. If one portion of a book is just made up fuckshit with no research involved, written in the voice of someone the author is definitely not, then that is fiction. This might imply the rest of the book is fiction. Approach things with a critical eye, especially if you’re been told not to look at it too deeply or look into anything other than official backstory. If you’ve been advised that outside opinions will put you and/or your “recovery” in jeopardy, that’s an indicator of coercive control. A spiritual practice requires a measure of skepticism and should be checked against people who don’t believe in it once in a while for perspective. If your practice still seems reasonable when you do that, carry on! But if your intuition says otherwise and is tugging at the hem of your mental sweater like a snot-nosed little kid asking if they can play on your phone, maybe listen to it.

6. This is basic advice for pretty much anyone, but don’t take yourself so fucking seriously!

7. To that end: get a Party City-ass blonde bob wig like this one. Remember He-Man? He… had… the POWERRRRRRR! So do you. So put the wig on, prance around your living room to this video, and channel that shit. Keep the wig around for any occasion upon which you need to remind yourself to not be such a dour bitch about this silly thing called life.

7a) This is not power over everything and all things. This is power over yourself, your situation, and your decisions using rationality. You can absolutely believe in some kind of deity or “power greater than yourself” and still have enough respect for your own autonomy that you take responsibility for yourself by claiming and owning your own power to do or not do things.

8. You are better than not believing in yourself or your ability to just get on with life. We’re all vulnerable creatures, but one group with a specific behavioral/compulsion problem is not inherently more cursed with difficulty than another. Loads of people grow out of serious problems simply because they stop needing certain coping mechanisms, or they get bored with them, but when you put that label on yourself for life—like calling yourself an alcoholic even if you haven’t had a drink in a decade or more—you’re dragging yourself down and inhibiting your own growth. I might sound unsympathetic, but believe me, I’m not. I was a pretty serious bulimic Back in The Day, and it took a lot of work and learning how to love and believe in myself to get past the compulsive need to medicate with food, but I think if I’d clung to that identity as a marker of self I’d still be freaking out over eating the “wrong” things and throwing up every day. I’d probably be dead, quite frankly. Part of recovering (not being in perpetual recovery, but recovering) from an eating disorder meant giving up judging myself and others for body stuff, eating habits, etc., etc. I also had to stop hanging around with just the women in my therapy group. If you limit your social circle to other people “in recovery” you might throw away perfectly good people who could lend valuable perspective when you need it most, or who will love you regardless of your status in program or “in recovery,” because they aren’t adhering to a set of weird social rules you have come to accept as regular. In my case I needed people who didn’t freak out about calories, judge what other people ate, and talk about food all the fuckin’ time. It was good for a little while to talk with people who shared my problem, but the longer that went on, the harder it was to stop being bulimic.

All of this to say: you are fine. You are better than fine. You’re amazing. Life is something that kind of happens to us—our parents may have chosen to have us, but none of us decided to exist. We do the best with what we’ve got. Sometimes we’re raised by people who handed down shitty coping skills or caused us to find brand new ones. That doesn’t mean you have to be that thing forever. Like, did you ever have an aunt or uncle you only saw once in a while, so they treated you at 17 like you were the same person as you were when you were 6? Remember how limiting and weird that felt? You’re allowed to grow, change, and reject labels that keep you down. If abstaining from a substance or a certain kind of food helps you feel safe then I’m not coming down on that. But it doesn’t have to be your whole self. You are not your “sobriety.” You might feel fragile sometimes but I promise you, you are strong as fuck. And anyone who encourages you to stay in a fragile mindset of powerlessness over an inert substance is not your friend.

Now let’s put on our blonde fuckass bob wigs and scream at the top of our lungs: WHAT’S GOING ONNNNNN?! HEYYY YEAH YEAH YE-HEAHHHH!

[botheringlevi]

Hi Levi,

So I was reminded of a friendly debate I had with someone a while ago and I just really really need to know your opinion:

What do you think is the right way to hang up a toilet roll?

(Is this a stupid question? Yes. Did you say we couldn’t bother you with stupid questions? 😉)

Under? Are you fucking serious? How is this a debate? What other idiot opinions does this "someone" have, Jay?

It's not a stupid question, just so obvious that it shouldn't be a question in the first place.

Over.

[yungchaeng]

My rizz is being goofy but I’m only goofy around people I feel comfortable with it’s like one of my main charms, but I’m good at other things, like cooking, painting, baking, making dad jokes, comforting I’ve been told a lot I give great hugs. I’m just really shy and introverted so that makes it hard for me🥲-T

ayeee look at that, goofy people are the best

But it seems like you got many many many skills in your arsenal my friend, so

Step 1. Intro with the most goofy dad joke you know, if she isn’t into it … well, that’s that. But if she is?? And you got her giggling a little maybe that’s a good step to getting a bit more comfortable with eachother, bc shared humor is always such a good way to get close to someone (imo)

Step 2. Talk some more to see if you actually vibe with eachother and if so casually ask her to do some painting or baking together (bc that’s cute as heck). At the end of this date, give her one of those great hugs

Step 3. If that happened and it went smoothly, cook your girl a nice meal!! Everyone loves a good cook

Step 4. Invite me to your wedding with her

[assistingpaws]

yeah Im. not exactly sure how to try to communicate with him um. 😅 yeah if i could have tips on that itd be awesome maybe (hopefully im not wildly misinterpreting what you said)

That's okay! Lemme see what I got.

We honestly don't know if you guys can communicate internally or externally so we are just going to provide ways to talk in both 

So assuming from you originally thinking what would likely be him fronting to be a kinshift means is that you're at least aware when another is front. For that we recommend making some kind of sheet with questions for him to answer when he’s in front again, and you can maybe guide him towards it? Maybe? 

Internally the thing we would do is call the members name and just. Talk to them! Unfortunately we do not know how one would start the conversation (we struggle with that). But we can give resources that may help

Simply plural is a big one we use. We mainly use the chat function on there or google slides to communicate. But any type of notes/writing app would work. Hell, even just pen and paper! Though it's best to use different colors depending on whose speaking or anything to indicate that when using any of these. 

Honestly if you could provide us anymore info about how you guys might be able to come into contact with eachother that would help us help you more, but only if you are comfortable ofc! - mod mint

[ultima-ratio]

Don't yuck somebody's yum.

[enchantingepics]

Tip #1

I understand that being called out can be challenging and sometimes uncomfortable. It's essential to communicate your feelings in a way that fosters understanding. Instead of a direct and abrupt statement like "STOP CALLING ME OUT," consider expressing your emotions more elaborately. For instance, you might say something like: "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I want to share my perspective on being called out. It's been tough for me, and I believe open communication is crucial. Can we have a conversation about it? I'm looking to find common ground and understanding, so we can navigate these situations better together." This approach allows for a more heartfelt expression of your emotions while inviting dialogue and understanding from the other person. Remember, effective communication often involves expressing yourself in a way that encourages empathy and collaboration.