#friendly word of advice

[crowwwzy]

Lay all your love on me ~

[i-really-like-phrogs]

When someone else’s art is so good you physically can’t look at it because of artistic jealousy

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Someone should really do a study on substance use habits among asexuals specifically if they haven't already. I feel like the results, whatever they are, would be illuminating.

[void-hugs]

Life is hard virtually all of the time. It's okay to struggle.

It's okay to be "behind" those around you. It's okay to wonder how others manage. It's okay to find difficulty where others find ease. It's okay to wish you had better experiences and opportunities.

It isn't always the nicest realisation, but you're doing your best. You're still here - doing the best you can - in an incredibly difficult world to live in. You really owe yourself some acknowledgement for that.

- 💙

[haru-kuneko]

[starbuck]

“You Don’t Like Me” is one of the songs of all time for being about someone who is insecure that the person they like likes THE MORNING more than them.

[hollerinahorror]

Friendly reminder: Bombarding me with messages and getting mad because I don’t reply right away isn’t gonna make me want to continue our conversation. I have a life outside of tumblr and I’m not always on here to respond back right away. I’m not being rude or ignoring you. I’m usually busy with work and life in general, so I’m not on here 24/7.

If you want to be a dickhead and get mad at me because I don’t respond within 0.2 seconds, I’ll happily block you. Thanks.

[brownsugar4hersoul]

“A woman has to live her life or live to repent not having lived it.” | D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover |

[son1c]

Will you be making fanfiction based on your alternate Shadow for the sonic prime au, and most importantly will it be sonadow? I hope it is because I ship that but if you don't that's perfectly okay.

hi! i talk and i draw, but i don't really write. however, there IS a fic for bermuda that was penned by @the-gnome-zone and it's really good! you should read it! i endorse it 100%!

[autisticlee]

I know it's wrong and bad to say this, but sometimes I really hate when my friends have other friends. (specifically when I can't also be friends with those friends) because every time I want someone to hang out with or talk to, the only couple friends I have are always busy with their other friends. when I want to plan something with them, they will always choose the other friends over me. they will cancel plans *with* me as soon as other friends ask, but won't cancel plans *for* me when i ask. they will use up their social spoons on other friends and leave none for me. always putting things with me off or simply not responding at all.

i'm always told by random people when I say I want mkre friends "it's better to have a couple great friends than many aquantances" or something like that. but honestly it sucks because you can't rely on 1-2 people to always be there for you every day or every week when you want or need someone. if you keep asking, you're seen as annoying and clingy and they will ignore you eventually (or worse)

it's annoying that they get to fill their social needs at all times, but I never get to. because i'm never the one that gets to go first in the social queue. and when it gets to my turn, it refreshes and i'm pushed to the back again.

the only solution I can ever think of is being friends with my friends' friends too....but for some reason!!!!!! that never works out!!!! (if my friends will even share their friends with me to begin with)

[explode-this]

What To Do If You Accidentally Took a Sip of Alcohol or Ate a Boozy Cookie When You’ve Had Problems with Substances, But You’ve Also Been Convinced You Have a Disease and Subsequently Are More Afraid of Yourself Than a Purse Dog is Afraid of Being Out of the Purse: A Holiday Guide

1. If it was accidental, it’s not your fault.

2. Even if it wasn’t accidental, it is not the end of the world. If you have been convinced of some form of black and white thinking, like “one drink might as well be 1,000,” know that this is a built-in “failure guarantee.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that ultimately gives you permission to binge by way of Doomerism. Do you want that kind of negativity in your life? Say no way, man! to anyone who has cast an edict of weakness upon your entire “constitution” with silly ideas like that.

3. With that in mind, this kind of notion can really imprison you psychologically, so the panic you might feel is real. Find something calming to do until you’ve come down from it. Phone a friend that doesn’t believe in the disease hypothesis and can talk you down from irrationality. Play a game. Go for a walk. Do a jigsaw puzzle. Color in a coloring book. Get a Where’s Waldo book and look for the weirdest shit in the pictures. Try a new podcast! Listen to audiobooks! I don’t know, what do you like to do that’s been deemed off limits by a religious mentor/sponsor? What have you been convinced is stupid and childish but doesn’t hurt anyone else and actually brings you great joy? Do that thing. You’re allowed to do things that make you happy, you know.

4. For doorknob’s sake, resist going to a “meeting” upon a “failure.” You might find some measure of sympathy and reassurance in “the rooms,” but you’ll also be surrounded by people who think the sky is falling if they pass someone smoking a joint on the street, freaking out about “contact highs” and whatnot, and that mindset is infectious. You need people in your life who have not been thoroughly indoctrinated and can see through—and thoroughly reject—the premise of the program. You certainly don’t need to hand in any “chips” and start over. Consider the contradiction of a phrase like “progress, not perfection” being in the same place as ��you fucked up, now hand in your medallions and start over from step 1 because our goal of abstinence from substances actually constitutes a goal of perfection.” We are human beings. We fuck up. Fucking up once after months of not fucking up does not take those months away from you.

5. If you’re still thoroughly convinced that a meeting, calling a sponsor, or reading the “Big Book” are the answers, I’d like you to seriously consider this: read Chapter 8: To Wives, and then this analysis. Among other things, Bill Wilson was a craven butthole who wanted to control every step of the narrative—he was too dishonest to let his wife, an actual wife, write the fucking chapter! If a book was published today with portions addressing a given demographic as a member of that demographic that turned out to be written by someone decidedly not in that demographic, there would be an uproar and it would throw the entire publication into question—yet somehow this chapter is yet to be removed from the Sacred Text. If one portion of a book is just made up fuckshit with no research involved, written in the voice of someone the author is definitely not, then that is fiction. This might imply the rest of the book is fiction. Approach things with a critical eye, especially if you’re been told not to look at it too deeply or look into anything other than official backstory. If you’ve been advised that outside opinions will put you and/or your “recovery” in jeopardy, that’s an indicator of coercive control. A spiritual practice requires a measure of skepticism and should be checked against people who don’t believe in it once in a while for perspective. If your practice still seems reasonable when you do that, carry on! But if your intuition says otherwise and is tugging at the hem of your mental sweater like a snot-nosed little kid asking if they can play on your phone, maybe listen to it.

6. This is basic advice for pretty much anyone, but don’t take yourself so fucking seriously!

7. To that end: get a Party City-ass blonde bob wig like this one. Remember He-Man? He… had… the POWERRRRRRR! So do you. So put the wig on, prance around your living room to this video, and channel that shit. Keep the wig around for any occasion upon which you need to remind yourself to not be such a dour bitch about this silly thing called life.

7a) This is not power over everything and all things. This is power over yourself, your situation, and your decisions using rationality. You can absolutely believe in some kind of deity or “power greater than yourself” and still have enough respect for your own autonomy that you take responsibility for yourself by claiming and owning your own power to do or not do things.

8. You are better than not believing in yourself or your ability to just get on with life. We’re all vulnerable creatures, but one group with a specific behavioral/compulsion problem is not inherently more cursed with difficulty than another. Loads of people grow out of serious problems simply because they stop needing certain coping mechanisms, or they get bored with them, but when you put that label on yourself for life—like calling yourself an alcoholic even if you haven’t had a drink in a decade or more—you’re dragging yourself down and inhibiting your own growth. I might sound unsympathetic, but believe me, I’m not. I was a pretty serious bulimic Back in The Day, and it took a lot of work and learning how to love and believe in myself to get past the compulsive need to medicate with food, but I think if I’d clung to that identity as a marker of self I’d still be freaking out over eating the “wrong” things and throwing up every day. I’d probably be dead, quite frankly. Part of recovering (not being in perpetual recovery, but recovering) from an eating disorder meant giving up judging myself and others for body stuff, eating habits, etc., etc. I also had to stop hanging around with just the women in my therapy group. If you limit your social circle to other people “in recovery” you might throw away perfectly good people who could lend valuable perspective when you need it most, or who will love you regardless of your status in program or “in recovery,” because they aren’t adhering to a set of weird social rules you have come to accept as regular. In my case I needed people who didn’t freak out about calories, judge what other people ate, and talk about food all the fuckin’ time. It was good for a little while to talk with people who shared my problem, but the longer that went on, the harder it was to stop being bulimic.

All of this to say: you are fine. You are better than fine. You’re amazing. Life is something that kind of happens to us—our parents may have chosen to have us, but none of us decided to exist. We do the best with what we’ve got. Sometimes we’re raised by people who handed down shitty coping skills or caused us to find brand new ones. That doesn’t mean you have to be that thing forever. Like, did you ever have an aunt or uncle you only saw once in a while, so they treated you at 17 like you were the same person as you were when you were 6? Remember how limiting and weird that felt? You’re allowed to grow, change, and reject labels that keep you down. If abstaining from a substance or a certain kind of food helps you feel safe then I’m not coming down on that. But it doesn’t have to be your whole self. You are not your “sobriety.” You might feel fragile sometimes but I promise you, you are strong as fuck. And anyone who encourages you to stay in a fragile mindset of powerlessness over an inert substance is not your friend.

Now let’s put on our blonde fuckass bob wigs and scream at the top of our lungs: WHAT’S GOING ONNNNNN?! HEYYY YEAH YEAH YE-HEAHHHH!

[shiranuieditorial]

Professional editor here 🙋🏽 piping in to say that that sentence is 100% grammatically correct, but it could use a pair of em dashes (if following U.S. English standards) or en dashes (if following U.K. English standards) to break up that interior monologue or emphasised exclamation (whichever one you intended it to be) as an interjection/interruption inserted within the main sentence. It would help your readers’ clarity and understanding, and therefore, boost their enjoyment levels too!

So, yeah, it still stands that English’s grammar sphere is extremely flexible, twistable, stretchable, flammable, combustible, slice-and-diceable, and however the fuck else you wanna abuse it to your selfish satisfaction! You just gotta make sure your overall creation is still readable, parseable, legible, decipherable, understandable, and therefore, enjoyable—you know?

Unique author voices are completely different from grammatical errors and linguistic inaccuracies. The former is to be cherished! Treasured! Praised! Uplifted! Celebrated until the end of time! Meanwhile, the latter is to be reduced to a minimum, because we don’t need them if they don’t serve a very intentional purpose. A trained eye will be able to distinguish this without problem, which is indeed why human editors like me and my friends aren’t that easily replaced by AI—thank you very much!—but this elephantine task certainly takes on a differently flavoured toll when an author self-edits their own writing, especially if they don’t have years of specialised knowledge and training in the art of editing. (And trust me, it is a wholly different and just as serious of a skillset as the writing part itself.)

Now, whether or not you plan to work with a trusted professional editor later on is up to you to decide (I mean, it’s obviously recommended, but the choice is still in your hands; and even if you do hire editors, the final choice to accept or reject their suggestions is also still in your hands), but here are a few things to keep in mind during your self-editing rounds:

Trust yourself, first and foremost! You’re the one who understands your story best. If something strongly resonates with you, keep it in. At the very least, it’d add a touch of you and your humanity to your creation, if nothing else.

Having your own unique voice is a good thing. You should want more of it, and no one should ever try to kill it off of you—not even yourself. Stay authentic to yourself, explore whatever interests you, and keep honing your storytelling voice(s) through practice, practice, practice—no matter how you think it “stands out against” or “blends in with” or “doesn’t hold a candle to” or “bastardises” other people’s creations you’ve interacted with. Your voice is solely yours, and that is so, so valuable.

If you heavily suspect something contains a technical error, check with reputable sources, like some bigwig dictionary’s example sentences section, or whichever style guide you’ve chosen as your patron saint, or various editor(ial)s’ blog posts and articles, or Q&A/AMA sessions with editors or linguists, or you could try your luck and slide into their DMs if you have a particular someone you admire, or whatever combination of those options you fancy the most.

If you’ve heard or read someone irl (including yourself) say those words or that phrase/sentence/monologue before, then it’s probably fine, dude.

For hearing folks: Say it aloud. Use various text-to-speech settings to read it aloud to you. Have your friend or relative read it aloud. Does anything feel wonky, somehow? Does anything need a sprinkle of pizzazz to liven up the dead air? Do these words fit the mood you’re currently feeling during this scene? Did your companion stutter at any point?

Let your writs marinate alone for as long as you can afford to. Forget about it. Then, come back to it with a fresh perspective—not one of an author’s nor an editor’s, but pretend you are a reader who is reading some anonymous writer’s work with the intention of simply sinking into the read and enjoying whatever is served.

The world isn’t divided into “grammatically correct” and “grammatically incorrect”. There are many other variables to composing, writing, editing, proofreading, and speaking. If you have the time and headspace to learn about them, do so. Finding the proper terminologies to describe your ideas and experiences will benefit you with great satisfaction.

Punctuation marks, symbols, spacings, margins, line breaks, paragraph breaks, scene breaks, chapter breaks, placements, pacing, etc. are difficult and time-consuming for us copy editors too. Don’t beat yourself up for struggling with these technical details, but also, don’t be so afraid of them that you omit them entirely from your writs. Instead, shift your energy and attention to creating and maintaining your very own author’s style sheet, which you can then pass on to your editor to upgrade and tidy up for you as you kick back and relax, but it can certainly help ease your own writing process if you’ve sketched up your own guide for yourself.

Editing any piece of work—fiction or non-fiction or any hybrid of them—should always prioritise the author’s original vision and goals above all else. Don’t treat it like grading schoolwork with checks and crosses and /100 scores. There is no right and wrong to the art of writing. Why did you start writing in the first place? What do you want to explore and express in your crafts? What do you want your readers to get from your story? How do you want them to feel about your characters? What message are you trying to tell, and why is it important? Do you want to impress people more with your substance or your style? Linguistic unorthodoxy be damned; if your quirky choice gets the point across with all the right vibes and nuances ticked off, then go for it!

Remember that language is constantly evolving… as it should! What was once regarded as “incorrect” a century ago could easily be the norm nowadays. If you’ve decided to become the progenitor of a new trend, then you better own up to it! Be unapologetically compelling.

Remember that there is always a solution/answer to your confusion/curiosity. Even if you don’t find what you’re looking for right now, there’s still hope. Either you’ll find clarity when you least expect it, or you’ll create homemade organic closure for yourself, one way or another. The possibilities are endless. What matters most is to trust the process and never give up on yourself!

one of my worst writing sins is abusing my power to create compound words. i cannot write the sentence "The sun shone as bright as honey that afternoon." no. that's boring. "The sun was honey-bright that afternoon" however? yes. that sentence is dope as fuck. i do not care if "honey-bright" is a word in the english dictionary. i do not care if the sentence is grammatically correct. i will not change. i will not correct my erred ways. the laws of the english language are mine.

[ultima-ratio]

Don't yuck somebody's yum.

[enchantingepics]

Tip #1

I understand that being called out can be challenging and sometimes uncomfortable. It's essential to communicate your feelings in a way that fosters understanding. Instead of a direct and abrupt statement like "STOP CALLING ME OUT," consider expressing your emotions more elaborately. For instance, you might say something like: "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, and I want to share my perspective on being called out. It's been tough for me, and I believe open communication is crucial. Can we have a conversation about it? I'm looking to find common ground and understanding, so we can navigate these situations better together." This approach allows for a more heartfelt expression of your emotions while inviting dialogue and understanding from the other person. Remember, effective communication often involves expressing yourself in a way that encourages empathy and collaboration.

[kcwritely]

On Realizing Dreams and Becoming a Writer

Hi! I’m a writer just dipping my toes into posting my original works. I’ve spent a lot of time on the fan side of tumblr, writing for my favorite shows, books, movies, and games. But I was always worried my own works wouldn’t live up to the same positive reception and praise as my fan works. So, I’ve been hesitant to share.

But now, I want to branch out and bring my personal writings to the public! Which I find absolutely terrifying, but we all have to start somewhere. I’ve already posted some of my old poetry, but that hasn’t exactly met the welcome I hoped for. So, I thought I would take a more personal approach and share a bit about myself.

I’ve been writing and creating stories ever since I was a toddler. Of course, it was all about pretend and play rather than actual literature at the time. My interest in writing began in earnest when I was around ten years old. My personal life had become unstable at that point, and it was during this time that I truly began to connect with and find solace in books.

I started seriously writing my own stories when I entered middle school. These were, of course, a bit silly. They are undoubtedly full of all the classic middle school tropes, hang-ups, and pitfalls. But this was the very beginning of a lifelong passion. So, I look back on those old works with fondness.

It wasn’t until I reached high school that I began to write and plot out novels. These, too, were ‘cringe’ and are still a bit embarrassing to look back on. But they were the foundation of who I am as a storyteller today. It was during this time that I discovered my love of world-building. I genuinely believe it is one of the best parts of being a writer.

Unfortunately, I also suffered from crippling self-doubt and a severe case of imposter syndrome. So, I never shared my work with others. I often felt that what I created was not refined enough to be read by anyone but myself or my supportive mother. This mindset followed me for many years, making it difficult to chart a clear path toward my future.

When it came time for college, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do. I have other passions and briefly considered following them. However, I ultimately chose to pursue my love of language and literature. I wound up becoming an English major. Although, I had no intention of becoming an author. At that point in time, my confidence as a writer was low. I just thought it would be better to put my talents to use as an editor. So, I pursued a minor in editing and decided that would be my career.

It wasn’t until the pandemic, after graduating college and a horrible stint in Corporate America, that I realized my life was my own. And I could pursue whatever dream I wanted. At first, this meant pursuing a career as a tattoo artist. A very different path, I realize. But I could not deny my love for the craft. Not to mention, this was another dream I had convinced myself was unattainable just because it was I who looked to attain it. Once I realized I could pursue any path I desired, as long as I put in the work and tried my best, everything changed.

I began practicing for hours daily to improve my art and become a tattoo artist. These efforts eventually led to my skills growing dramatically. I was so surprised to realize what I could accomplish if I wasn’t standing in my own way. It was the first time I truly thought of myself as someone with talent. I followed this dream for quite some time, building my portfolio and researching local shops that might need an apprentice.

It wasn’t until one fateful night when I was driving home from a bridal shower that the idea hit me. An old book concept from my high school days resurfaced in my mind, and I suddenly knew what the story needed. When I finally got home, I began writing these ideas down immediately. I didn’t even realize it was three in the morning by the time I finished. From that moment on, I became infatuated with my story. Rekindling a love I had long thought was lost.

With a renewed interest in my lifelong passion, I dedicated myself to my dreams. I decided that this time, nothing would keep me from achieving my goals, not outside influences and certainly not myself. Through this new resolve, I began working on my largest project ever, a seven-book epic fantasy adventure exploring a vast and diverse world of my creation.

Now, I want to share the process of such an undertaking with all of you! From conception to plotting, world-building to character creation, I’m sharing it all! I encourage anyone who is a writer or wants to be one to reach out to me. I am happy to share my experience and help other writers realize their dreams like I have begun to do for myself. If you have read this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing so. I wish you all the best in your writing journey, and I hope you, the reader, can learn something from my experiences.

Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions about writing!

[1-800-luvmail]

hopeless romantic! jason todd who thinks cheesy pick up lines are stupid, and that surely, the shakespearian shit is gonna work on hinge

hopeless romantic! jason todd who doesn't get why everyone he tries to match with doesnt fw his poetic bars (hes TRYING)

hopeless romantic! jason todd who finally, FINALLY gets a match. he has to put his phone down for a million years just to process everything and then glances back down at his screen to make sure it's still there.

how is someone is genuinely that stunning?

hopeless romantic! jason todd who feels like he's fumbling every time his messages you. if he had less pride, he'd probably ask dick for advice, but no, fuck that, he can do things on his own. it'd be humiliating to beg for romantic advice from him.

at least you seem amused by jason's antics. even if he does seem mildly inept with flirting. dork.

hopeless romantic! jason todd who makes sure to ask about your favourite flowers to get you a bouquet of them for your first date and meet up

hopeless romantic! jason todd who drops said flowers when he finally sees you in person and loses all his words and cognitive function for a moment when you say hi and greet him with a friendly hug. yeah he's not surviving the date.

completely and utterly hopeless! jason todd when the date goes incredible. he walks you home because... obviously? it's gotham and it's dark.

you leave him with a kiss on his cheek and the promise of seeing him sometime again, and he just knows he's a goner.