#fox thomas

[incorrectbatfam]

What does Tim say when people ask about his spleen?

Damian: I am updating my blackmail records. Tell me what happened to your spleen in its full hilarity.

Tim: I donated it to a sickly orphan.

Damian: You win this round.

———————

Tim: I have to be careful, I lost my spleen.

Carrie: How?

Tim: Aliens.

———————

Tim: I'm zero percent spleen and fifty-nine percent pizza sauce.

Helena: Zero percent spleen?

Tim: Yep. On the bright side, they named a disease after me.

———————

Luke: I've designed nanotech vitals trackers to be implanted on our spleens.

Tim: Oh, no thanks. I don't have one.

Luke: You don't have a spleen?

Tim: It wasn't paying rent so I evicted it. Lazy freeloader.

———————

Barbara: Why does your chart say you're missing a spleen?

Tim: I made a deal with the devil but I had a discount code so instead of my soul I just needed to sell a non-essential organ.

———————

Steph: What happened to your spleen? Are you okay?

Tim: I'm fine. It's taking an extended gap year.

———————

Harper: So... can I ask about your spleen?

Tim: Yeah, don't worry. I was part of a failed science experiment.

Cullen: What'd they do?

Tim: They injected me with a serum that was supposed to make me indestructible. But instead all I got were a spleen removal and chronic insomnia. And a free T-shirt.

Cullen:

Harper:

Cullen: Was it a nice shirt?

———————

Dick: What do you mean you don't have a spleen?!?

Tim: It was confiscated by airport security.

———————

Tim: Happy Pride! My spleen finally came out of the closet. And by closet I mean my body.

Kate: Diversity win.

———————

Tim and Jason: *arguing*

Jason: At least I still have my spleen!

Tim: It's genetic!

Jason: Sucks to be you.

Tim: We have the same dad. It could happen to you too.

Jason, scoffing: Whatever.

Jason, internally: Oh shit, he's right. I need to see Leslie.

———————

Tim and Bette: *sparring*

Bette: *hits Tim*

Tim: Ow. Time out. That was my spleenhole.

Bette: ...How?

Tim: It took a trip to the Titanic in a soup can with a Playstation controller.

———————

Duke: Since when did you have that scar?

Tim: Since losing my spleen last year.

Duke: How do you lose a spleen?

Tim: You forget to cherish it.

———————

Cass: ?

Tim: I digested it.

———————

Selina: You know I have to tell Bruce about this.

Tim: Okay, fine.

Tim: I had to get it removed as a kid after falling into a well of bats.

———————

Bruce: Tell me what happened to your spleen so Alfred and Leslie can give you the proper treatment.

Tim: What do you mean?

Bruce: Everyone's been telling me you don't have it.

Tim: Well, I do, so...

Bruce: Alright, I'll have a talk with them about bad taste pranks.

———————

Alfred: You can't keep the truth from me, Master Tim.

Tim: Assassins stole it.

Alfred: I wasn't born yesterday. Now what really happened?

Tim: ...

[garpen]

PT. 3

Dick won the fight. Bruce won the bet.

<<Part Two<< Master List >>Part Four>>

[missingnightwingsmullet]

batfamily, assemble!

[hehether]

Power of rainbow 🌈

[wakandas]

batober. 7 - chilll

[soranatus]

Gotham’s Finest Family & Friends By freelance illustrator, Gabriel Larragán

[vodrae]

Batman studying for months gen X and boomers to act like Brucie can't use a smartphone just to use a clamshell phone in the end.

Lucius "Bruce couldn't open his mails on the WaynePhone but I've never seen a man so determined to watch his kid's tiktok videos." Fox

[ungodlybliss]

i love this panel sm. all of them are so cute. luke hugging alfred. sigh. i love them.

[lilsoupboiii]

Some of my personal favorite panels from s3 of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures so far

[glitter-stained]

Bats and Birds jobs headcanons that I will defend with my life, mostly from my civilian AU:

Barbara: works at a library, will hack your company to help you figure out flaws in the system for money on the side

Dick: retired Olympic gymnast, gymnastic teacher

Cass: part time professional wrestler, in a duo with Steph

(Edit edit: it has been pointed out to me that some people just don't like feelings which I didn't consider, so I did take off the therapy part because she wouldn't want to do it, but I still think it would be so interesting to see her volve about it)

Jason: writer (novelist + ao3, he has the range), part time barista at some point

Steph: definitely works part time at a movie theatre, I also picture her being a professional wrestler for some reason, in a duo with Cass

Tim: unclear if he's doing freelance investigation journalism or private detective work but either way he likes figuring stuff out (it's a lot of cheating husbands and he doesn't dislike it)

Duke: escape room owner and designer, the trickiest puzzles in the American continent, and each room has incredible aesthetics and personality even though people complain about how difficult they are.

Damian: professional painter, volunteers at the animal shelter every day.

Bruce: trophy wife

Harper: whatever the fuck Michael Reeves has going on

Cullen: editor (Jason's professional AND ao3 beta but neither has any idea the three identities are connected)

Lucius Fox: CEO of Wayne enterprise

Luke Fox: mechanical engineer

Kate Kane: rich heiress, competitive MMA fighter when she feels like it

[madartz15]

This scene fucking killed me. Jack keeping his fingers on Belle's pulse all night just to make sure she was still alive is such a romantic yet sad little detail. Man probably didn't get an ounce of sleep that night. 😭

[incorrectbatfam]

Likelihood of the batfam bailing you out of jail:

Tim: Absolutely 100% no questions asked

Steph: She'd ask you what you did and take you out for food to celebrate

Dick: He would, but there is going to be a long, unavoidable conversation

Barbara: She'd call them to convince them to let you out but you gotta find your own way home

Duke: Yes, but it'll be an awkward drive back because it's 2AM and he's in Ninja Turtles pajamas

Harper: She doesn't answer unknown numbers

Damian: He would do it only to have something to hold over your head

Helena: She'll do it if you sign a contract to pay her back with interest

Alfred: He'd leave you in there for a night as a lesson

Carrie: She would agree after you tell her how to do it but get distracted and never show up

Cullen: He's just glad someone remembered to call him

Kate: She would laugh and hang up

Luke: He'd send someone else to do it

Bette: She would reluctantly say yes after some back-and-forth

Bruce: He's already there bailing out one of his kids, so why not

Selina: She would, and she'd teach you how to not get caught next time

Jason: He's sitting in the cell next to you

Cass: She's not bailing you out, she's breaking you out

[garpen]

PT. 2

Nobody better tell me this is to verbally aggressive, bc this is exactly how I be speaking with my siblings

<<Part One<< Master List >>Part Three>>

[eldritchdemonfox]

why does everyone seem obsessed with making the batkid’s bio parents either an afterthought or worse than they actually are?

I mean, in some cases they did actually have bad parents, like Arthur Brown and David Cain

But like…

Duke’s parents are still alive, albeit comatose. He loves them.

Tim’s parents were not as criminally neglectful as fannon makes them out to be, and it really impacted him when they died.

Dick’s parents are the REASON he chose Robin as his name, and he still misses them.

While Willis Todd wasn’t a great father, he did at least want a better life for Jason in some cannons. And Catherine did the best she could. The only person really deserving of hate is Sheila. Fuck her fr.

Babs LITERALLY STILL HAS A DAD. WHO SHE LOVES. Justice for my man Gordon.

I mean CMON

[artistzjay]

I WANT HAL JORDAN TO BABYSIT THE BATKIDS AND TO BE GOOD AT BONDING WITH THEM EVEN WITH THEIR CRAZY DAILY ANTICS AND THEIR ANGST!

I WANT THE BATKIDS TO SEE THAT HAL HAS AN ACTUAL INTEREST IN LEARNING ABOUT THEM AND NOT JUST FOR THEIR FATHER AND HAVE FUN AND GET HUGS FROM HIM!

THEN I WANT BRUCE WAYNE TO SEE HOW WELL HE GETS ALONG WITH HIS CHILDREN AND FALL FOR HIM BECAUSE WHO DOESN’T LIKE GOOD PARENTING?

NO, I WILL NOT ELABORATE ANYMORE OF THIS PLOT FOR ANYONE.

MAKE UP THE REST ON YOUR OWN!

[wakandas]

batober 15 - bitter

the signal, batman, batgirl