#everyone saying something else is lying
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multifandom-nerds-blog · 9 months ago
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Theory/possible AU on Kai in the neverspace
What if either Nya, Wyldfyre (those two were visibly the most/only ones affected by Kais dissapearing) and the others, or even Kai and Bonzle themselve somehow do manage to open a new gate. So Kai and Bonzle manage to get back to the back merged worlds.
But just like back in s11 with the never realm it turns out that time passes faster there, compared to the merged worlds. So for everyone else a few weeks or months passed when they finally manage to open a portal, but for Kai it's been YEARS. (Preferably at least 10 in my opinion.) The emotional drama would be perfect. Especially cause y'know, Kai isn't a nindroid like Zane and doesn't have any memory loss. The effects of that on him would be really interesting to see.
Though you know. I don't really think they're gonna pull that of. The reason that Zane usually gets hit with the heaviest violence, has so many deaths and so on is cause he's a nindroid and it's a kids show at the end of the day. They can "fix" a nindroid/robot more easily. If Zane loses an arm, he can just put it back on or get a new one without a problem, if a human/biological humanoid loses an arm in the show it's gone. They can get a prosthetic maybe, but their arm is gone, they have trauma and physical pain from it.
So yeah, my theory isn't that likely cause Kai might be the emotinal but not physical punching bag of the writers. It's very unlikely that they would significantly age up just one of the og characters and not the others. I can still dream and we have the world of fanfiction on our side. (Ideas for an AU name please for the case I get more ideas)
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lgbtlunaverse · 3 months ago
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Thinking of the Nie disciple that told Nie Mingjue it was Meng Yao who stayed behind to clean up corpses on the battlefield today.
Nie Mingjue didn't just randomly stumble upon poor lil meowyao eating bread in the novel, he was already looking for him to thank and reward him for his work.
That's what makes it so fun that nieyao's first conflict will end up being about someone else taking credit for Meng Yao's work.
And I'm sure that Nie Mingjue's actual opinions on plagiarism are a lot more nuanced, all we really get from him in this scene is "well you shouldn't kill someone over it!" which leaves a lot of room for what punishments he thinks are appropiate. But I bet that it isn't occuring to him in this moment that the only reason he knows Meng Yao at all, the only reason he got such a capable deputy, is that he noticed someone was taking care of the dead and cared enough to want to know their name. And then the Nie disciples didn't lie to him. The disciple he asked could have said "it was me, Zongzhu" to rise in the ranks himself, but he didn't. He went and asked others, who all also could have taken the credit, but they didn't. Someone saw Meng Yao working and decided to be honest about it and that simple decision is the catalyst for Meng Yao becoming Nie Mingjue's deputy.
Meng Yao can't just work hard to get results, others have to acknowledge that work. If they don't, it's as if he didn't do anything at all.
#i'm very proud of the phrase poor lil meowyao. i'm sure i'm not the first one to come up with it but i'm proud nonetheless.#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#meng yao#anyway this isn't a nmj bashing post i think 'ok that's bad but don't do MURDER' is overall a pretty reasonable reaction#but the emotional disconnect is fun to ruminate on. I bet meng yao IS thinking about that moment while coming up with his fake-suicide plan#anyway i always laugh a litle whenever anyone wonder if meng yao looking a bit pitiful was all some master stategy to get nmj to like him#because like... no. no that would be a stupid plan and also involved way too many factors he couldn't control.#and also!! he was already doing something else to try and get nmj's attention. all of that fucking work!!#if you plan on getting nmj– guy famous for valuing merit and hard honest work– to like you what is more useful:#looking a bit like a sad little wet cat in case he comes across you? or. Working really hard and being more useful than everyone else?#ding ding ding it's the latter.#nmj is ALSO a bit weak for someone looking like a kitten left in the rain but that's not well-known at all and meng yao didn't know him yet#anyway the fact that that is his plan does mean he's very aware how much it hinges on other people not just lying and saying they did it.#i wonder what networking efforts lil heijan meng yao was doing. trying to make friends with all the other disciples.#walking the tightrope of being accomodating but not a doormat so people see you as someone to rely on rather than take advantage of.#as much as we know not everyone in the nie is as righteous as nmj it does seem like there is a culture of taking pride in your own work.#even the cultivators who bully him in the novel just seem think it's funny he's working so hard.#using someone else's actions to prop yourself up is kinda like admiting they're better than you. a wound to their pride if nothing else.
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asking for help always makes things worse
#I need to just accept that I’m never going to be given any understanding or actual help#I may never escape these worlds it seems it doesn’t matter how hard I try I can’t get anyone to listen to me#this feels traumatizing I feel entirely beaten and ground down into something small and helpless#I have no control at all I keep trying and trying and trying and trying and for what#I need somebody to just listen to me atp not being dismissed is better than nothing but everyone’s a curation anyway no real thoughts or#feelings but it doesn’t matter I don’t even care please just listen to me somebody listen to me I’m so confused do curations have some#autonomy I don’t think so maybe I don’t fucking know they said yes on the clock so perhaps yes so please just listen please pls pls pls pls#I can’t be traumatized I’m not human right but I’m having everything stripped from me every last ounce of control the shadow ppl have all#the control which is funny I’m fairly certain I’m one of them but they still can strip me of control I was bred for this#please somebody help me I keep begging like it’ll do anything can you at least help with the ppl and cameras in the vents#are ppl from the real world watching through them I believe so can anything be done something has to be done escape the impostors something#just something please just listening would help actual listening not dismissal you can think whatever you want about me but listen#maybe some have autonomy and some don’t ?#please understand that I’ve tried very hard I’ve tried very very hard suicidality and homicidality have dug their claws into me even further#I don’t know what else to do I’m at a loss and no one will listen to me at all I’ve tried asking offline I’ve tried asking online it doesn’t#matter what I do where I ask no one will listen even the ones who do somewhat say they don’t know what to do I’m suspicious do they really#not know what to do or are they lying that may be more an impostor thing but everyone and everything is suspicious to me uh uh uh just#listen and help please idk what to do it’s all in the mirrors and clocks and such but I need to find a way to enter the mirrors but I’m#scared what I’ll find who is looking back I’m scared what world I’ll end up in it may be their world I’ll be punished they said yes I’m#terrified can someone go in with me if I manage to find out how that’s pathetic but damn I don’t think I can anyway they’ve been crawling on#the ceilings today hahah doing some weird and wacky shit sometimes they’re a little funky and just there and other times I’m having a heart#attack no in between I know pleading with curations is likely going to be classified as annoying but for the love of god do you know what#else I am supposed to do ??? at the very least just listen to me please it is 02:14:46 how synchronous ! I can’t stop having what I think#are dreams about the mental hospital too haha they send me to dreamworlds sometimes trap me in them waking dreamworlds see I’ve been reduced#down into something tiny I’ve resorted to begging once again do I even want to beg am I lying to myself my words aren’t my own my thoughts#aren’t my own so is this not my own can’t ever speak none of it’s my own it feels unsafe especially to speak of anything that isn’t this#it isn’t safe it isn’t my own it’s not the focus idk idk idk should I ask to talk to someone again I wonder I want understanding for my#situation please listen to me the joints hurt aaaa#my life is a playyy is a playyy is a playyyyyy anyone like marina that song appeared in the head I wonder where that spider went it better#not be inside of the body ok ok ok anyone yes help wanted help needed 02:22:22
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waywardsalt · 6 months ago
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with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;
a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.
linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.
#phantom hourglass#linebeck#loz#legend of zelda#salty talks#imo the action vs inaction thing feels esp interesting to me when looking at oshus specifically. he and his world are in grave danger#and he knows it and he actively does nothing and even seems reluctant to let ciela and link go ahead and do something.#of course he comes around on it but it's very interesting. has he given up at that point? thats what it suggests to me#that hes like. joined the people of mercay in just lying down and waiting for other people to fix their problems or just. not do anything#otherwise on mercay you have that old guy in the bar who spends the whole game not leaving bc he doesnt want to face his wife#and she never goes to the bar to actually look for him and just talks about it if anything#the guy with the blue tunic talks a lot about linebeck and his ship and almost gives the impression that he really wants to talk to him#but yknow. doesnt. theres the women that tells you about docks being shut down and how linebeck is the only person who's showed up#the woman you see at the broken bridge who's just like oh well! time to wait til someone fixes it.#even the guy fixing the bridge iirc is like well fuck i gotta do it or else oshus is going to bitch at me abt it#everyone seems reluctant to act which makes for an interesting way in how our main crew stands out#it is less so oh theyve been chosen specifically for this its moreso they're the ones who are fucking doing something about this#for their own various reasons some of which are more selfish but theyre still doing something#will likely have more stuff to say when im done but ofc we have other characters in the game who have to do with this#anyways. linebeck is so animated all of the fucking time it's great i dont think theres any other character that moves as much as him#when he's just standing around to talking to link it's great. he's so ready to get going.#it works with him being an anxious mess and also with like. oh he's probably understimulated. you know he's got a nasty case of wanderlust#i can put it with the idea that he's understimulated and afraid to stim in public so he's just constantly moving#he probably drums his fingers on tables bounces his leg when sitting paces around switches the way he sits or lays down often#tbh this kinda fits in with him being one of the main characters who takes action moreso than a lot of other characters#his arc culminates in him taking action he's going after the ghost ship he's moving around the world the only issue is that one of the#actions he takes is running away from his problems literally n metaphorically (tho idk if facing the jolene problem is a good idea for him)
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kaidanalenkosprmanager · 8 months ago
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THE BEST OF TUCHANKA: TURIAN PLATOON
Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Lt. James Vega, EDI, and Lt. Tarquin Victus With: Lt. Steve Cortez and The Ninth Turian Platoon Decisions like these weigh heavy on me- when I was a General, I could pass them up the chain of command. But now? I'm all I've got. I'm beginning to understand why leaders so often seem lonely... Worst case scenarios aren't just theories- they're what you'll be dealing with five minutes from now. Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#james vega#EDI#steve cortez#mass effect#mass effect 3#me3#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#i was originally planning to make platoon and bomb one big gifset since it’s 2 halves of one big story#but i ended up splitting it bc i ran out of room due to the post limit 🫠#i don’t really have the most to say for platoon individually bc these quests are pretty short#but victus and sons y’all are a bit shady for lying to shep about the bomb’s origins if i'm being 100% honest rn#and if i’m being completely honest here keeping something like that secret would have blown up in their faces so fucking badly#with krogan leadership??? like??? like wrex would be fucking peaved about a fucking turian bomb on tuchanka#but like for a second can we imagine wreav??? someone who is already gunning for revenge?? and this was kept a secret???#i've never had wreav as my krogan leader but i know in my heart that man is out for fucking blood when he finds out about the bomb#but for me it's the way every other race constantly does awful shit to the krogan and wonders why the krogan are “wArMonGeRs!!!” like???#and why krogan leadership just doesn't give a fuck about anyone else's problems?? which is literally 100% understandable for the krogan#maybe it's bc you guys gave them a STERILITY PLAGUE and planted a fucking BOMB on their planet idk#*inserting soph’s ‘sometimes i understand why the krogan want to shoot everyone in sight’ quote here*#on a final tiny note i like the parallel between that soldier saying “who cares about a few dead krogan?”#and that scene during the normandy summit when wrex says “why should i care if a few turians go extinct?”#i adore the poetic cinema of those lines in parallel with one another#especially when you take into account the fact that victus helps wrex cure the genophage#and then his son helps stop the bomb on tuchanka by sacrificing his life for it#and that wrex sends squads of krogan soldiers to help defend palaven afterwards#it's a nice callback to both those moments imo :)
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robocops-a-christ-allegory · 6 months ago
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Ok Suicide Squad Isekai thoughts for real now genuinely I think this is a good little suicide squad thing AS WELL as really good Peacemaker content. I was right about him just being Kupperberg Peacemaker I dont know what the fuck happened but I was right and he was wearing that bag for the first three episodes
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Im so happy its unreal
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bellamygate · 2 days ago
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I wish everyone who sTuDiEs PsYcHoLoGy a very shut the fuck up
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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 months ago
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billions also comedy gold presenting winston as a scapegoat for abuse culture fans when it's like but hey it can't be actual scapegoating if you Enjoy It or consider it Justified or experience Reassurance from Its Opportunity For A Group Cohesion Substitute For A Cohesion Based On An Inherent Equal Degree Of Belonging, The Absence Of Which Allows For, Encourages, Reinforces, & Rewards Scapegoating
it can't be Bullying if someone's Weird or you Just Don't Personally Like Them or Nobody's Actually Stopping You, Maybe At Least If They Don't See Too Much Of It, Maybe Others Are Supporting It
it can't be Abuse if you're just doing things Normally or are Following Rules or Aren't Feeling Malicious And Aren't Getting Divine Revelations Otherwise and probably it's just that a lot of abnormal people are being whiny &/or unfair &/or the Real malicious ones. kinda just like how that scapegoat is the real person ruining everything and really just forcing you to treat them like this
#might note hardly limited to billions; the series doing bog standard suffocatingly common [Being Normal can't be abusive] replication#nor is their Unaware Replication Of [it can't be ableist if i'm not reacting to ppl who walked up & said Hi I'm Autistic]#well abuse & traumatic treatment can't be Everywhere. like how umm sexism can't be everywhere. neither can white supremacy. ableism. cmon.#oh please not everything can be political. Just Be Normal. which makes it ''apolitical.''#now we all agree abuse can't ever be made palatable; insulated; easy. now ppl doing it never said it wasn't That bad.#if they did they must have been maliciously lying. whereas when i say it can't have been That bad; i mean it :)#and if that person says it was; well they must be lying. or clueless. or a pussy. or scheming to destroy me. Must be. Gotta#& we wouldn't be able to look around & see contexts of imbalance. who's vulnerable. who's life gets smaller. who's supported automatically#who's supported if someone even posits they May have done anything like No; Impossible; now instantly definitely get their ass#you can just go on all day about the ''um i'm just the Realistic Normality vessel'' arguments made boundlessly in bad faith#being like ohh Everyday Interactions / ''Normal'' Semi/Public Situations Can't Be Uncomfortable Imbalanced Dangerous Abusive....#if they are that must be So Rare & created only by Rare Bad Actors with Malicious Mens Rea (itself a great concept to make any act Okay)#something framed as Extreme must be an outlier. could never be part of everyone's everyday life & some much more than others.#could never be what's defined as Normal (associated with Superiority) like how Abuse can't be shit i'd think of as Normal#like how damn if ya don't just wanna kill the autistic coworker and everyone agrees & would clap & cheer if you did And That's Great#you'd have to feel Weird / Abnormal about it! b/c Weirdness & Abnormality is what's bad!#like the autism or the cptsd (the Real abuse can only be: inflicting the existence of a victim's survival skills on Superior Normals)#or whatever else gets pathologized with Polite ABA arguments about how it's not ''social skills'' so hide it or suffer the consequences#winston billions#having that perspective too like oh [our blessed successful conformity] [their barbaric xyz Issues]#if the best you can argue for or against smthing is as Normal or Weird respectively like. no. what's behind that door#the authority figure/s who must be supported lest this all crumble. vs the ruinerrrrrr#billions recognizing winston & tuk the next most shitted on would probably get along & have a mutually supportive friendship#billions also recognizing that mutual support better not be Allowed to get that far. lest this all crumble#like look see we Knew it. we knew the bottom tier ppl who don't really belong in the group who we bully & scapegoat are Always Ruining It.
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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!
#I like this episode! Very good. Very b/sd.#It's just...#I just don't really like the narrative “everyone else is stupid and must be taken care of because they're too dumb to do it themselves”.#It just feels unnecessarily discriminatory.#I understand it could be what Ranpo wanted to hear in that moment‚ after a life of feeling like walking among monsters#... But to pretty much say everyone is lesser than him doesn't sound good at all tbh. And pretty anti-democratic.#Yeah I just really can't vibe with scorning and looking down upon everyone else even when it comes from a place of rightful frustration.#Sorry.#But it is very b/sd so there's that.#The fact that Ranpo is so soooo intelligent but also wasn't able to tell Fukuzawa was lying at him about his ability–#does feel a bit plot hole-y to me. Like I get Fukuzawa is very persuasive - he didn't even give Ranpo the time to get too sceptical -#And I get in a way Ranpo /wanted/ it to be true. Still it's been established soooooo much up to now that he can see through anything...#But maybe I can only complain ajsyfcsigeufleiub sorry. Again it was a very good episode and an heartwarming story#I also think the murder victim turning out to be alive is the most underwhelming result of any mystery plot but that's just me#Even then I think Tokio's character is an interesting one!! And I love theater#What else. Brilliant episode animation wise.#The black&white to colour is still probably the most witty original and beautiful thing the b/sd anime ever came up with#(Each instance of good animation makes me salty at s5ep3 but eh. Skill issue)#I love Egawa! (Is her name a play on Edogawa? The kanjis are the same 江川 / 江戸川)#To the next episode!! I can't wait to see Oda and Fukuchi 🥺🥺#random rambles#Idk I just think if someone is particularly good at something‚ whatever it is‚ they should still be humble.#Looking down on people automatically makes you look bad no matter what your abilities are.#But it's just me#Edit: “Out to keep the foolish masses safe” is such a reactionary phrase... C'mon now.........#Next thing you know they're taking away the right to vote from the people because the foolish masses are too dumb to elect 🤦‍♂️
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rhysnolastname · 2 years ago
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Solas says I know a place and takes you to the middle of a swamp where he insults your culture, religious beliefs, and then dumps you.
#yeah im still thinking about this and its the next day#he might be telling the truth about the Vallaslin but my inquisitor did not let him remove it#I’ve played her as very proud to be dalish and believes in elven gods so it would be out of character even if solas says something else#maybe that’s what it represented then but it is not what it is now and she chooses to move forward#about the breakup … this is not the first time a man takes me on a date and dumps me 😭😭 but hey um wtf#honestly my lavellan does love him and is hurt but she has to be so many things to so many different people#there’s bigger things at stake and bigger problem to deal with at this time than whatever he's hiding or lying about#im pretty sure he was going to say something else not about the vallaslin#but his fear is dying alone becasue i saw it in the fade and yet !!!! he pushes everyone away he picks fights with everyone no matter whos#in the party he didnt come to the wicked grace game he never opens up beyond what he has seen in the fade. he is a fixed point#i wanna shake him by the shoulders and YELL WHATA RE YOU DOING you could have it all someone who loves you and a wonderf#a wonderful found family. he is kind and gentle but he is also so full of ANGER and he is so set on things being as he sees them.#Cole cant change because to Solas cole is always a spirit. the dalish are misguided and YOU Lavellan are just different YOURE special#the meaning of the vallaslin cant change because to him it represents slavery and it is in stone to him. things dont change with time they#are fixed. like things in the fade it what it was preserved. he is trying to hold on to a past that doesnt exist that has moved forward.#Solas says you cant change yourself by wishing. but i would say wishing for change is THE required prerequisite for change. a little though#a little idea a little wish that something was different better. but to#why cant you move forward Solas what the fuck are you holding onto so intesely#OKAY WHATEVER IM DONE WITH THIS ESSAY IM OVER IT ITS FINE ITS SO FINE
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llycaons · 11 months ago
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not to judge how kinky a character is based on appearance or behavior but it truly boggles the mind when an author puts the most vanilla dudes in the entire series into a 24/7 daddy dom threesome who frequent sex parties. as in xy is in a collar the whole time and xxc and sl get all protective over him...like ik they think its hot bc of xy and like deceit and manupulation and murder and pushing a guy into suicidal despair is sexy or something but this just doesn't make ANY sense with those two....
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lettersiarrange · 11 months ago
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All of your "fun facts" are either outright brags, kind of weird and personal, or just kind of boring. That's why people don't like doing it.
I mean, I'm sorry you don't like sharing fun facts about yourself, that sucks esp when "fun facts" are a pretty common thing when getting to know people in a group setting.
IMO, the point of a "fun fact" is to help people get to know you a bit and to share something memorable about yourself so you stand out when getting to know a bunch of ppl at once. Sharing something weird or impressive is a good way to accomplish that.
I'm also confused about your logic here. So you're not allowed to say something cool/an accomplishment (that's bragging), you're not allowed to talk about your family (your # of siblings is apparently uncomfortably personal), god forbid you say something weird, and you can't say something normal because that's, apparently, boring. What exactly IS an acceptable thing to say? Kind of sounds like there's no correct answer.
Honestly, if someone hears me share a fun fact in a group setting and ends up thinking I'm weird/full of myself: cool. we've immediately established that we don't vibe. we don't have to awkwardly discover that 10 minutes into a conversation that's going increasingly downhill. we know our personalities clash and we've saved ourselves time. you don't have to vibe with everyone.
Personally, I'm not sitting around analyzing everyone's fun facts. I'll probably forget them in 10 seconds unless they're particularly cool/strange/unexpected. The point is just to get people talking and give them a chance to make an initial impression in a room full of strangers. Unless you say something wildly inappropriate, the worst case scenario is that you're forgettable, or people don't immediately vibe with 0.001% of your life. Pretty low stakes.
I don't know if I've ever initiated fun facts in a group setting, and it's certainly not a hill I care about dying on, but I do think it's pretty wild that you hate them so much that you felt compelled to tell me that mine suck. But, much like a fun fact, this short interaction gave us the opportunity to establish an initial impression of you: you're kind of rude!
Best of luck navigating the dreaded "fun facts" conversation in your future life. Hope you make a better first impression next time, lest strangers think of you unflatteringly for even a single moment.
#truly it is not that deep if your fact is boring#everyone will just forget 10 seconds later or think you're boring for a sec. ok.#if you're so afraid to say something interesting or unique for fear of being judged then feel free to tell us you have a dog#personally i am not looking for opportunities to think ill of others and am not lying in wait to form a negative opinion of them#based off of a single sentence they share about their life#i'm mostly just hoping someone says something that i can start a conversation with them about later#if you don't...ok. i'll have plenty of opportunities to get to know you better in whatever setting we're in. at least i feel introduced now#personally i am not super concerned about what other ppl think of me and am not analyzing the myriad of ways they might judge my personalit#i'm just being me and if that's not for you that's fine. we don't have to be besties.#now you have a quick snapshot of who *me* is at least and we can move on with our lives#shrug emoji#again i'm not here to say fun facts are the Best Icebreaker Ever#i'm just saying they're a fact of life so you should probably figure out a standard response#if you have nothing unique or interesting about yourself to share with strangers just share something boring#and try to listen for something to talk to someone else about later#but i just think it's sad to live your life in such fear of being judged that you can't find a single acceptable thing to share abt yoursel#you'll have time to make a 2nd impression. and a 3rd. and a 4th. don't get so hung up on the first.#asks#anon#anonymous#fun facts
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daggery · 2 years ago
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inej ghafa
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fabcreature · 1 year ago
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me: *desperately needs praise for the work i do or i will shatter from the heartache*
also me: *at least once a month cries and shatters from the heartache bc i'm convinced every single bit of praise i ever get is either a lie just to be nice, or misguided bc they don't realize i'm a fraud*
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juleteinthrum · 1 year ago
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Can you belIEVE ME. ZIM(a trauma holder) would have a fucking trauma response(im a trauma holder)?! UNFATHOMABLE (i carry the majority of the bodily trauma including emotional shit).
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jvzebel-x · 2 years ago
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🦋
#hmmmm.#so as a rule i say thank you when i go out. a lot. bc i was told once that saying thank you instead of im sorry#would make ppl feel less uncomfortable so i swapped the phrases out.#similarly i was told once that compliments make ppl happy&also if im specifically looking for Good Things#i will find them-- as opposed to letting my head do whatever it wants bc given the extremely violent intrusive+obsessive thoughts#directing it towards Good Things works out for everyone if ppl enjoy compliments.#im also like. extremely aware that these facts-- along w my fervent occasionally manic insistence on being Nice when interacting w ppl#(bc i thought we all were told as kids to treat others the way we wanted to be treated??? lmao.)#-- all add up to make me seem insincere at times or to some ppl. i. dont care. LMAO.#its too exhausting to care. like ppl find whatever they want to find&if ppl are so set on my being a certain way#so much so that my being a nice person can only be explained by nefarious intent (to acheive. what. kindness from others? lmao.)#how in the fuck can any of that be my fault or-- MUCH more importantly-- my problem???#however lately its like ppl have been getting like. Offended. by the impulses. which is becoming... boring. for me. lmao.#bc it isnt like i dont mean it when im extensively polite&complimentary-- i mean everything i say bc even when anxiously filling silence#i dont like wasting my time on like. lying for no reason lmao.#its more so that if it becomes a hinderance to be myself ill go the route that benefits me which is the one of least resistance#&i will ALSO mean it when i make someone cry w exactly the same amount of effort lmao#bc proving a point-- even if its proving someone elses point-- correct is extremely easy either way lmao.#its weird to me that ppl would think seeing good in something means that seeing bad in it isnt possible lmao#the same way its extremely confusing to me that ppl would think kindness&abject cruelty cant like. coexist lmao.#i feel accepting that on a micro level would help ppl accept it on a macro level.#either way i know it would save me some time in having to deal w ppl biting off more than they can chew#before realizing that i will rip chunks out of them&lick the tears up like a dog if they insist on tempting me like one LMAO.#at the very least it might help more ppl appreciate the fact that regardless of how vivid the fantasies#i have yet to hit anyone repeatedly w a baseball bat to relieve some stress.#... lmao.
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