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#even thought that's going to be a lot harder for me because of how i need translations
inkdrinkerworld · 2 days
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Cw: brief mention of past childhood abuse/trauma, talk of not being good parents. This is representation for the girlies (gn) that are unsure about being parents/know they don’t want kids! You’re perfect and valid
Sirius Black x fem!reader (one use of girl at the end there)
“I don’t think I’d want to have kids.” You say to Sirius as you lay beside him, your head on his shoulder as he tickles your back.
It’s an abrupt confession seeing as neither of you had been talking about that, but Sirius just hums.
“Any reason why, poppet?” His voice is even. To be truthful, Sirius goes back and forth with the idea too.
You take a while to elaborate; “I think having to help raise my siblings, and then dealing with all of that stress and having to correct my brother’s actions and all of that,” you take a breath. “I think it took it out of me. I also really don’t want to screw up a kid.”
Sirius nods, a kiss to your cheek. He feels you inhale against his hand and waits for you to speak again, “Would that make our relationship harder? Would it be a deal breaker?”
He pulls back to get a good look at you. “Because you don’t want babies?” When you nod, Sirius shakes his head. “No, doll. I don’t think I want kids either, but especially so if you don’t want them.”
“Don’t say that just to agree with me, Siri.” You sigh and Sirius copies you.
“I’m not. I go back and forth with it just as you do. Most days I’m leaning towards it just being me and you.” His voice is too raw and earnest for you to doubt him.
You breathe out long, “I just,” you pause, picking your words. “We’ve both had shitty childhoods, I don’t know if we’d be good parents. No one can be perfect and I don’t want to fuck up a kid that didn’t have the choice of being here; I know that much for certain.”
“I think that’s a good thing to know, babe. We aren’t what happened to us and while we’re better now, we can’t predict how we’ll be despite our best efforts with our own kids, you’re right. I wouldn’t want to fuck them up either.”
They fall when you say, “Does that make me a bad person? That I wouldn’t risk it because raising my siblings was like me having kids already and really don’t want to fuck them up like we were?”
He doesn’t like that this has been troubling you. Sirius knows you better than anyone else on planet earth and he knows for you to cry like this means you’ve thought about this a lot.
He hates that you’ve been tormenting yourself over not wanting kids for so long.
Sirius pulls you closer when your tears turn to sobs, his arms firm weight around your back as he kisses your eyes. Salty tears pass through the seam of his lips.
“That doesn’t make you a bad person, poppet. That makes you a good person actually. We can keep our family just like this. Me, you, the birds you feed in the yard and maybe a dog later down the road.”
“And a cat,” you say all sniffly and Sirius wrinkles his nose.
“If you really want a cat, I’ll get you a cat. Just no more thinking it’s wrong to not want kids.” You nod, content to let Sirius pet you as your cries slow.
“You’ll still love me the most right?” He laughs, tilting your chin up and kissing your lips.
“I love you best, silly girl. Always will, even if we had kids.” You slap his chest and Sirius shrugs. “Maybe that’s how I know I’m not cut out, I don’t think I could put someone over you.” He laughs suddenly. “Fuck that’s sounds horrid.”
You wiggle onto his chest, kissing the constellation he got for you. “Doesn’t sound horrid. Dunno if I could handle not being top of your love list.” You say teasingly and Sirius smiles, all pleased that even with your red nose and slightly puffy eyes you’re okay.
Pride blooms in his chest as it does every time he assuages your worries. “Well, you never have to worry, poppet. Now gimme a kiss and let’s finish this episode of Bake Off.”
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spidermasc · 1 day
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🦝 ➜ 🔞﹒﹒this could be the night of our dreams
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synopsis: nat is head over heels for you and she does a horrible job of not showing it. req here autistic!reader, afab!reader, fluff + smut, first times, not proofread.
nat cradles the ceramic bowl close to her heart, staring yearningly at you as you draw abstract figures on a piece of paper shauna gave you. she doesn't know how a simple action of yours gets her to crash so much. still, she feels her body vibrate and her heart soar as you sit by the wooden table and draw.
"stare any harder and i think lasers will come out of your eyes," taissa breaks her out of her thoughts, raising her eyebrows at her love-stricken and dumb expression. tai gives her a slight smirk and nudges her elbow. "god, you're even worse at hiding it than me."
"hiding what?"
"being in love with her. looked like you were about to start floating over with bubbling hearts surrounding you," taissa snorts, watching nat's pale cheek light up with red at her words. "i'd tell you to put a ring on it but you probably already have."
"shut up," nat mumbles, feeling her ears burn. the worst part is that taissa's right; she did put a ring on it. it started out as a wooden ring she made out of boredom, only interested in seeing if she could even make the shape in the first place with the knife and her skills, but it ended up with nat's initials carved on the outside. she sheepishly gave it to you the next day.
it wasn't a proper engagement of course, nor did she intend to actually propose, but it was a heartfelt exchange. nat had told you about all the places she wants to go with you when you get rescued, and she made it a point to say when because you are getting out of here. she told you that she wants to take you to italy, more specifically the city her grandfather grew up in, and take you to only the finest establishments there. she wanted to pretend like she knew any italian and make a fool out of herself when ordering for you and kiss you with spaghetti sauce staining her lips.
all she knows is that she wants to be with you forever, married or not.
you look over to where nat leans on the wooden wall, feeling her stare at you so intently it makes you blush uncomfortably. you've never been good with eye contact so when you catch her gaze for a split second and then droop your head down, she wiggles her fingers at you as if to say, "i know you're looking. hi."
you smile bashfully, covering your ears with your hands as you happy stim. you always find it so embarrassing how she can make you act like this so easily; she can do the simplest things and you're still freaking out over how cute she is. you hear her walk towards you and grip your pencil tighter, finding it hard to keep your emotions in check as she bends down next to you and whispers in your ear: "come to the back room with me?"
once you're settled in bed with her, you lean against the wall and observe her while she plays with your hand. there's a comfortable silence in the air as you run your eyes over her features, taking in every detail you can, like the way her lips rest in a natural pout or the curvature of her nose as she turns away from you and blushes, her bunny teeth on full display as she grins. "you stare an awful lot for someone who doesn't like eye contact," she jokes, bringing your fingers up to her mouth to kiss.
like she said, your eyes zero in on how she peppers each finger with the same amount of kisses and suddenly pull your hand away, making nat's brows furrow in confusion. before she can open her mouth to ask if you're okay, you interrupt her by tugging her body on top of yours. nat's hands slam into the pillow by your head and she chuckles softly at your eagerness, licking her lips as you run your hands over her back and behind.
"i wanna do it with you. i trust you," you mumble vaguely, looking up at nat with so much emotion in your eyes it makes her feel light-headed.
"do it? like... it it?"
as you nod your head, you absentmindedly play with the fabric of her shirt between your forefinger and thumb. nat feels her body flash with something hot as your fingers touch her skin, traveling up ever so slightly as you wait for her response.
"are you sure? i don't wanna pressure you. i only wanna do this if you're absolutely sure that you're ready," nat speaks softly, looking for any sort of hesitation in your eyes.
"i'm sure, nat. i want this. like i said, i trust you."
natalie thinks those are the hottest words you've ever said to her.
her tongue darts out to swipe across her lips and she nods, mumbling a quiet "okay." before slowly leaning down to kiss you. you flush at the sound of your lips meeting and hold onto nat's hips, pulling her flush down onto your lap. she groans softly, and her bleached hair falls down in strands across your face. the feeling makes you recoil and your whole body shake. you hate it.
"mhhhhh," you make a noise of utter disgust as you turn your face from nat's, hands clenching and unclenching as you try to control your breathing.
"what's wrong?" she asks worriedly, knowing your body language all too well. she sits up straight and avoids touching you, telling you reassuring words as she waits for you to calm down enough so you can speak.
"was just your hair tickling me in the wrong way. made me feel bad. 's stupid..." you scoff to yourself, still looking away from her.
"it's not stupid. can i touch you again?" she asks after a few moments of silence.
you nod and she makes sure to tuck the strands of her hair behind her ear before leaning down and giving your nose a gentle kiss. her hands come up to cup your cheek, softly making you face her again before her thumb swipes over your lips. "do you still wanna continue?"
"yes, please," you reply, bringing her back in for a passionate kiss.
soon, all of your clothes are off, and nat's fingers toy with the waistband of your underwear as she looks down at you. her eyes are glossy and dark with lust from the heated makeout session and intense groping that went on before. you bite your lip and glance at the door as she tugs them down to your ankles, a tiny puff of air releasing from your lips as the cold air hits your wetness. nat can't help but stare at your puffy cunt practically drooling for her, begging for her to touch it.
an uncertain finger ghosts over your clit, and you have to slam your hand over your mouth to keep quiet. you and nat both groan at the contact, and she keeps her eyes on you as she parts your lips with her fingers, eagerly awaiting your reaction. "holy fuck," she whispers in awe, her finger submerged in warmth as she prods at your tight hole. "you feel so good."
"nat," you whine, voice muffled by your hand, which she hates. she wants to hear you as she touches you for the first time. so, she removes your palm from your mouth and opens her lips like she's mocking the way your jaw is slack from her finger stuffed in your hole, grinning wildly as she sinks it deeper.
the squelching sound from how wet you are drives nat insane, and in an instant, she's bending her head down to suckle on your clit while she fingers you. you let out a louder than anticipated moan and flush with embarrassment; the girls were sure to hear you. nat's tongue flicks your clit expertly and you wiggle your hips from how good it feels. she smirks at her skills and holds your hip down with her free hand, fully replacing her finger with her mouth as she settles between your thighs.
"feel free to use my head to keep yourself grounded, baby. i wanna be smothered in your wetness."
nat taglist: @nataliescatorcciosactualwife
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ssentimentals · 16 hours
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seventeen members as love tropes: lee seokmin
first love
'when it comes to you, 'forever' sounds so sweet, so good'
there are some things that are just plain facts like earth being round, for example. there are some things that are not up for arguing like banana milk being the best milk. then there are some things that are true but it takes a while to learn them like how grass is not greener on the other side but where you water it. seokmin thought long and hard about it and in the end decided that his love for you is applicable to all three categories: it's both a fact, something that is not up for arguing and some thing that is true but took a while to learn.
and take a while it did. 'seokkie?' your head pops in, smile wide and eyes crinkled. 'sorry for bothering, just wanted to check in. is everything okay? you've been quiet whole dinner.'
seokmin blinks, focusing on you. he wasn't quiet whole dinner per say - he's been talking and engaging with everyone and to anyone who doesn't know him close he looked absolutely fine. but you are very close to him and of course you noticed slight tense posture, how smile didn't quite reach his eyes. seokmin's heartstrings tug at your attentiveness towards him; he smiles, telling you to come in. when you shuffle forward, he instantly envelops you in a big hug, moving you to lay side by side, finding this gesture oddly comforting. in fact, everything about you is oddly comforting - you remind seokmin of home, of that feeling when you're back in your own bed after being away for a long time. it's addictive and after so many years of knowing you and being your friend, he's sure that he doesn't have anyone closer to him than you.
'what is it, seokkie?' you ask in a whisper, turning your head to face him. your eyes are so expressive, seokmin never gets tired of just staring into them; right now they are filled with worry and gentleness that is so you, seokmin can't help but reach out and pinch your cheek cutely. 'hey! don't distract me mister, answer my question!'
'i don't really know,' seokmin answers truthfully. 'i guess i'm just scared of all these upcoming changes, you know? they feel so big, too big for all of us. i'm scared how they will change everything.'
i'm scared they will change you and me is on the tip of his tongue but he doesn't voice it out loud. he won't be able to let go, he knows it. if you go, this void in his chest won't be filled with anyone else, he knows it too. moving away is hard but it's even harder when he loves-
'whatever can happen will happen,' you say, staring at him seriously. 'but it will never change you and me.'
-you. he loves you. it's clear as a day to him when he now stares at you and this realization takes his breath away. and it's not like seokmin is dumb or oblivious - he definitely knew that his feelings for you bordered on something much, much bigger than simple 'like' or 'friendship'. it's more about how he never thought to give them a name and got so used to having them because they became a part of him, of who he is and whoa, isn't that a big and scary thought? that his feelings for you are literally part of his personality? it probably should be but it doesn't scare seokmin for a one bit. loving you, he realizes, is as easy as breathing.
'i don't want us to ever change,' he admits, trying not to choke on his feelings. 'i want it to always be you and me, together.'
he hopes you hear it. he hopes you understand what he's trying to say because he just learned that he loves you and it's a lot. your smile makes him smile back and when you nod, telling him that you two will always be together, he feels his heart beat faster. 'course, seokkie. i love you,' you say and you say it so easily that his breath hitches.
and if you can say it to easily then he can, too. 'i love you,' he voices out, trying out these words on his tongue. they feel good. 'i love you.'
there's a change in your eyes, like you start to get what he means. when seokmin leans in, you don't stop him or lean back. when he kisses you, you don't push him away or tell him to stop - you kiss him back.
and it's not something up for arguing either. because you are his first friend, his first girlfriend, his first love. seokmin dares anyone to tell him that first love is not real or that it won't last - he is here to prove everyone wrong with you. how can it not last, when you're looking at him with your sweet smile and he feels like earth goes around only because you exist?
and it is a plain fact - earth is round, sky is blue, seokmin loves you with everything in him.
a/n: huge thanks to @flipflopscrop for giving me idea for this one! hopefully you all like it <3 - nini
my seventeen works are here
my formula 1 works are here
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destinationtrekk · 1 day
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Something a little sad. Re5 Wesker, where Reader feels less and less seen and loved, she understands that Wesker has a lot of work and a world to conquer, but she still needs him, no, she doesn't want his credit card or a dinner that Wesker abandons within minutes.
She is tired of waking up in a cold bed next to him, of only arguing with Wesker the few moments she sees him, tired of giving everything of herself to receive nothing in return.
What changes everything is Excella, seeing her flirting with Wesker breaks her heart, insecurities haunt her for days, weeks even, reader thinks Wesker notices, but he doesn't, in an argument she can't take it anymore.
"You're so used to me always forgiving you and being there for you, you haven't even noticed how little love you've given me. I'm tired Albert, tired."
it would take a serious loss for re5!wesker to realize something like this. he manipulated excella for his own benefit and then killed her just because it bought him some time, so if anything i think he'll be really annoyed you're calling him out. it's not that he wants to manipulate you too, he DOES care deep down.
when excella flirts with him he's annoyed by that too. he wants to snap and push her away but for the sake of his plan he can't do that. he tries to explain to you what he has going on and whats at stake, but you hit him back with "our relationship is at stake."
this makes him pause. he had never even considered losing you. he sort of felt bad about the nights he spent away and all the times he cancelled on you or just totally forgot, but he thought that was what couples did. people forget things sometimes, especially when they're as important and busy as a Wesker.
you have to sit with him and have a serious conversation about your happiness and maybe even threaten to leave. it's a little toxic and you feel bad, but you feel worse about living in a big cold house while being ignored by your partner.
hopefully this makes him realize what he's done, but he won't immediately fix it. he does try harder to answer your texts and calls and be home in time to fall asleep with you, but i think he's a very hard man to love at this point in his life and you'll have to stick it out to make things work
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good-beanswrites · 1 year
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Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.
I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!
Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).
With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain
Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans
Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.
Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.
Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.
The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.
Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all. 
The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see. 
Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time. 
As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods. 
The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward. 
The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.
Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”
They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.
“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”
Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”
“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”  
Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”
“I’m working.”
She frowned. “Uh-huh…”
“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.
Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”
“I could look at you…”
Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will. 
They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.
“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”
“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”
Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”
“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”
“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”
“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”
“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly. 
“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”
It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this. 
At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.
“I’ll play Fuuta.” 
He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.
However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.
They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself. 
With a little jingle, the match began. 
Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.
Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.
“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.
“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”
Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.
The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them. 
They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.
“That was incredible!”
“Holy shit!”
“How’d you do that?”
Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands. 
“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”
Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.
Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.
“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.
#milgram#es#yuno kashiki#fuuta kajiyama#mikoto kayano#and everyone else#i always worry it gets too busy with too many characters but i think this works 👍#thank you for all your kind words!!! i feel like a broken record but it really means so much to me --#im so happy youre enjoying these as much as i am >:3#my next one is going to be a bit more serious but it was really fun doing these lighter ones :')#they deserve a night of relaxation and fun! im absolutely obsessed with es' insistence on their duty and solemn attitude#because theyre just a kid! they need a break! theyd get excited and competitive just like anyone else! they should be allowed to!#UGH#i think es and amane are a bit too similar with their struggles with age and being controlled by adults where its harder to get along#but yuno also understands what its like to want to be seen as a responsible mature person despite a younger age#and shed know how best to say things lightly but still meaningfully <3#yeah i thought about them doing sports or cooking or karaoke but this worked the best#haruka and amane dont have much experience with video games but i think theyd catch on quick#shidou has a lot of fun but he sucks ass LMAO#mahiru also isnt great but even if she was doing good shed let everyone else win to make sure their spirits stay up#im a sucker for writing where a character says something over and over and you just know theyre trying to convince themselves 😂#someone tell me to stop rambling in the tags and just make a new post for gods sake asdfsdfds#i hope you enjoy!#im late by now but woo happy getting your account set up 👏 welcome to the hellsite...#drabbles
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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I don't know if it's rude to ask, so apologies in advance if I sound mean, but… how come you repeatedly bring up old posts of yours from three or more years ago? Do you remember each original post you make and intentionally bring them back? Like, I don't think there's anything wrong, your blog can be whatever you want, obviously, and your stuff is always funny or curious in some way, just… I'm kind of lost as of how it came to be, I guess? I don't think I remember my own posts after 6 months, much least if I have to go back to 2020!
ahaha no it's usually just because i'm going back through a tag looking for something else! i recently went back through my entire "my posts" tag (which contains...1468 posts, dear lord) and while i was doing that saw several posts that i felt like reblogging for whatever reason. so it's usually not that i remember them and go looking for them on purpose, it's that i come across them incidentally in the course of doing something else.
if you want to know why i reblog them after coming across them, 1) usually i don't! you are seeing the tip of the iceberg lol, and 2) it's mostly because it's hard to resist the "sooo true, bestie" urge, even when the bestie is just...yourself.
#sometimes...things that are written by me...are things i agree with#but oftentimes they are not once a few years have passed lol. i mean i just looked at 1468 posts by yours truly#and queued probably 1% of them#oh i also went through my asks tag which was another 500 or so posts#if you want to know why i'm putting myself through this it's for a really ridiculous reason#namely: several nights ago i had insomnia brought on by (get this) being too excited to sleep because my brain wouldn't stop#coming up with crosslinguistic french/english puns#and a couple of them in particular i was like oh god this would be a great tumblr username!#however as i've said before i had no plans to ever change my username (even though i don't like it)#because doing so would break any links that contain my current username#i had resigned myself to just living with this username forever. but once i thought of some usernames i actually like#it became harder to resist the urge to change it...#so now i have this convoluted plan to try to identify and tag as many of the links as i can#so that after i switch names i can go back and fix the links#however i'm not sure how feasible this is. there are a lot of links#and no matter what i do short of going through all 45k posts on this blog i will be bound to miss some of them anyway#(i think getting a domain would solve this problem but i don't wanna get a domain bc i'd have to give wordpress my legal name)#indecisive superhero meme w the buttons 'the need to have punny username' vs. 'the need to be able to find things on my blog'#asks#anon#actually anon probably the majority of the time i rb something i wrote 3 years ago it's bc i forgot about it#i come across it and am like oh yeah! this! and it's like a brand new discovery so i put it back on the dash lol#anyway thanks for your ask! i got a kick out of it 😂
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chemicalbrew · 10 months
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achievement get (for the billionth time): take one look at an assignment and get severely overwhelmed AND discouraged for the rest of the day and do nothing
#it's so much and it's dishonest work!! literally dishonest because all i can think of is how bullshit a lot of it sounds. instead of#you know?#actually learning anything?#but this thorough lack of motivation is just gonna get me in trouble isnt it. how do i swallow my emotions and figure things out#its getting harder every year and the feeling that the few people i have close by do not ever truly understand - like at all - is horrifyin#yes sorry this is all i could think of for the past six hours. im having a great day (no im not. i also hate myself for feeling this way)#zero.txt#im sure it hurts the few people who care and who thought i'd actually go on to do things to see me constantly wallowing for reasons#that they refuse to comprehend or have compassion for.#just stop being sad! just get to work piece by piece! have some resilience#meanwhile all ive done is cry. maybe a part of me just likes feeling like this i DONT KNOW#and ofc so often im like. the only reason im still around is im quiet and they havent invented thought police#yet.#how can i have hope when the moment i decide to pluck a silver of it out of my core i read something that in a better world would not even-#-be a nightmare#like. you say things like that with your mouth and expect us to mindlessly repeat if we want anything in life...#fuck my stupid baka life <3#ugh im just going in yet another circle now when i know trying to put my feelings in words is not helpful. what IS helpful#negative#again sorry. at least you dont have to open this wall of tags#delete later#maybe
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trashlie · 1 year
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oh i almost forgot! i also wanted to say thank you for your commentary on 223, you really hit the nail on the head describing all the ways in which shinae and nol's situations in terms of trauma and healing are similar and different. we've been shown the parallels, now the differences become much more obvious. and it's important to keep in mind that nol's circumstances *are* very different. opening up and getting close to people really does put him and them in danger because he's haunted and hunted by yui. and not to belittle shinae's situation but for him it's more than just the fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt in the process. so yeah, thanks for pointing that out! it does make me wonder if nol can ever be comfortable as long as yui is around... would she let him be if kousuke gets the ceo position, or would she keep tormenting him for fun? it's a suffocating situation, it probably really is best if he spends a couple of years away from... everything, so he can at least breathe...
-lil anon
I feel like the BEST thing about your asks is that you always manage to hit on a topic I've been thinking a lot about and BOY is this one of those!
I don't think I remembered to make this point in my 223 (or even 224) commentary, because there was so much to get over and just a lot of feelings to feel lol but especially re: the differences in Shinae and Nol's trauma is just how that affects the ways they react?
Something I've recently noticed about Shinae is that despite her mother leaving when she was young, she has an almost naive perception of family. I don't say this in a negative way at all, because she means the best of it. She just... expects that families are families, despite their circumstances. For better or worse, she and Shimhan have, mostly, been a team. He has done everything to take care of her, never made her feel bad when they moved so she could attend a new school, ran himself ragged trying to keep them afloat - even when it came to negatively affect them. To her, family is there for you. They have your back. They have an obligation to you and they fulfill it.
It took some time before she could see Yui for who she really was, and she was able to believe that Yui truly loves Kousuke. I think this is why so many readers stayed convinced of that, too, for so long. Because Shinae sees it, too. It has to be true. Yui does awful things because it comes from a good place. But we've learned that's not so.
She envied Alyssa for everything she had - money, a big home, all the things she could ever want, parents who were suffocating. She was blinded by her own absence of a mother and couldn't understand how parents who are TOO doting were a bother - and I don't fault her for this at all! But as a result, she also couldn't understand the implications of Alyssa changing so readily when her father came home. The darker concepts of a perhaps abusive father didn't seem to cross her mind, because she comes from an incredibly loving father who has never really made her feel any kind of fear.
Even very recently, she went through the same thing with Nol.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
It was only afterward that she caught herself and remembered what she had learned from Kousuke and about Nol's parentage. And look, I don't fault her here - she has lived a life of struggle, certain that if only they had more money, if only they didn't have these struggles, life would be better. And that's true - if her father didn't have to work so hard, if he had the leisure to finish nursing school without having to pay hospital bills, they could probably have lived a more comfortable and relaxing life.
But money only solves her issues because the issue IS money. Alyssa's issue is not the money. Nol's issue isn't the money. Having a big house doesn't mean to him what it would to her, because he doesn't have the family to fill that home. Their own personal issues cloud and shape their perceptions of others. When you've spent your life struggling, looked down on because you're poor, when you only have the room in your life to think of survival and getting by, getting free food at whatever the cost, exceling in school so you have a chance at getting scholarships to allow you to go to university, then yeah, you WOULD envy Nol's position. A wealthy family, no need to work, all the free time to study, able to buy food for other people, never having to question when your next meal is or if there will be another time that you might face eviction is a dream for her.
But it's only a dream because she has a father who loves her and she doesn't have to question his support. What good is a big home when you feel like you're trapped in it? Not that Nol has even lived with them (according to him). What good is all that wealth if you're still lonely, if you fee no warmth or love from your father, when your mother is gone?
Shinae never means any harm by these misconceptions, either. It's just that to her, she's never had to doubt her family. To her, family supports you, they have your back, they take care of you. It's easy to forget that not everyone has that.
And yeah, I think this largely shapes the way they navigate their trauma because right, exactly, in comparison, Shinae's struggles AREN'T as bad as Nol's, and that doesn't belittle her struggles. But it's true. Even the darkest time of her life, when her father was hospitalized and they were facing eviction and she had to call upon a favor from Kousuke, as she tried to hide away at the formal, Nol showed up and had her back. And thus, she equates herself as doing the same for him. He was persistently there for her at every turn, and it was able to wear her down until she could see the good in his persistence, until she could finally see the merit of letting someone catch you when you fall. And because that's her experience, she had believed it might be his, as well - that she could be there for him enough that he could be as vulnerable with her as she was with him, that he would reciprocate the trust.
And because she doesn't know how much deeper his wound is, because she doesn't know how dark it is, she can't help but take his refusal to open up as a sleight. From her vantage, doesn't it feel like he doesn't trust her? Doesn't it feel like he can't open up to her? I think she would understand, if she knew just a little more. How can we expect her to understand when he just tells her he doesn't need to see (her joy!), he's okay being in the dark?
We've seen Shinae grow a lot, but I think we'll continue to see that growth with Nol, if/when/however they find a place for that common ground. She acts on her own experiences - she was able to become a better friend, to open up to people, to be more vulnerable - and believes that it's the same for others. But I think whenever she finds out how deep Nol's wounds are, she'll understand more. She'll be able to see why it's so much harder for him to be as vulnerable as her.
It's just a matter of her gaining that knowledge.
I know none of this is really new lol but it's just something that's been floating around in my head LMAO
ANYWAY lmao I think... yeah. I think as long as Yui exists, there's no peace. Yui messes with Nol BECAUSE he exists. Yes it's partly to ensure that Kousuke gets to where he needs to be, but I think mostly it's just because he exists. Because he was never meant to, because he benefits from her family, because he is a blight on her image (her husband has an illegitimate child so everyone knows he had an affair and boy Rand sure does embarrass her and her family doesn't he). I think Yui just takes joy from making him miserable and making him suffer, regardless of whether or not Kousuke is succeeding at what she set him up to do.
That said, I do think a major part of Nol's character mgiht be finding comfort in being able to rely on others. It won't make his life less suffocating, exactly, but it might be more bearable if he doesn't feel so alone, if he knows he has people to turn to. In a way, I think this is one of those things where we see that Nol/Shinae, Rand/Nessa parallel/foil. Nessa wanted to be that refuge to Rand, it seems by her letters. She wanted to be a beacon of hope, someone who helped him keep going when it was hard. He carried around that Bible full of her letters, of the love they shared. But he was married, he had an obligation to his family, to his career, and thus he could not rely on Nessa the way she wanted him to. He repressed everything, he turned cold and icy so Yui had nothing to use against him, he learned to be unfazed in the face of her taunting, and he lost himself in doing so. If Nol never learns to open up, to be vulnerable, to seek refuge in people, that would be his future, too. Repressing everything about him in effort to just survive. But as evidenced by Rand, what kind of survival is that? There's no living if you live that way.
I agree that Nol will never know true peace if Yui remains around and possesses the power/influence she does. But I think if Nol finds it in him to be vulnerable, and to learn what it is like to trust people, to let that guard down a little, to find a pocket of safety where he can breathe, maybe it would make it bearable. It's hard to fight back when you live in fight or flight mode. It's hard to fight back when you spend all your energy just surviving - but if you can find a place where you can rest? Where you can recharge? Where you can regain that energy and strength, it's easier to fight back and to endure, I think.
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adore-gregor · 3 months
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my perception of grades totally changed since i started uni
#in school i just did the bare minimum a pass was fine and a 3 great#it's insane to think about it how little i did like for a lot of subjects not at all and if i did i'd study like 2 hrs the day before 😭#and i thought this was studying hard or if i studied 3 hrs at least whaaat#well for some subjects i did a bit more#but like it is no comparrison#at uni i also did study the day before a few times but then i did an 8hr session#(i might just need to do that tmrw but the thing is the exam is one you can't study for so literary idk what i'd study so long for??)#(or how to study... it's translation but how tf do you study translation it's highly subjective and there are no practice exercises)#(i will probably just look at the notes)#but anyway for my last exam i spent 5 hrs in the library a day and i already started 2 weeks before (altough just in smaller bits)#but bumped it up exam week i did like 2-3hrs on average a day#even if i start too late like i did for one of the hardest test of my studies i only studied for 2 days but like all day or 10hrs sth a day#it by far exceeds the 2hrs lmao and even that was very little for this exam many studied 2 weeks but like i got a good grade so it's okay#but my point is now that i get better grades good one's a C is a massive disappointment for me 😅#unless it was a really difficult one then i'd take it but like it upsets me#a teacher once told me when i got a c on an exam quite a few failed that many would be happy to have that grade well true tbh but i can't#and once i almost cried because i got a C because i thought it was an easy course but it was an oral exam and i'm worse in these#(because in written i often remember the answer later in the exam and then go back but in oral i can't do that)#well that was embarrassing😭 i'm trying to never do that again so if i get asked how i feel abt it say it's okay ig#but sometimes even a B is meh 😅 especially if an A was possible and it was an easy course/exam#i want more A's less B's tbh B's also because i really want to go abroad and raise my grade average for that#i want to go from a B average to an A something average to improve my chances#but yeah younger me wouldn't believe this 😂#i really want to study harder to make that step up to more A's than B's like uni does come quite easy to me#and while i study way more compared to others i still get away with less effort and good results but i could have excellent grades#on the one hand it's good that i improved so much on the other those expectations might not be because i'm almost never satisfied anymore 😅#and i know it's kind of really unimportant because there are real problems and also many uni students struggle to pass their classes#it's maybe even a bit disrespectful because they'd be happy to have these grades and i should be more grateful#but i swear i don't look down on anyone with worse grades i know how difficult it can be and also how outside factors play a role#some have it more difficult some have to work a lot next to uni or really suffer from mental illness besides no one's brain is the same
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something-of-a-hermit · 4 months
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Why is O Superman (Laurie Anderson) so incredibly comforting but also I’m sobbing my eyes out at 12am over the line “and when force is gone, there’s always Mom (hi, mom!)”?
#hermit shouts into the void#I guess I’m dropping lore in the tags instead of just adding it to the post#but I had to go no contact with my parents back in October#my wife and I had come out to them as a trans woman and bisexual respectively a year prior#I spent several days arguing over text with my mom#who accused me of lying to her#to my father#to god#to the priest who officiated my wedding#because i didn’t come out before my wedding#to be clear my wife didn’t realize she was trans till almost a year after we were married#she blamed me for my father getting blind drunk and screaming obscenities in the snow in some unfamiliar town when she told him#when I finally saw them both in person a week after initially coming out I was told how I’m delusional#how I’m like the prodigal son who they’re waiting to turn from my evil ways and come home#my mom told me that during the week she wouldn’t speak to me she ‘thought I was cutting her off’ even though she stopped responding to me#she told me that they had considered removing me from their health insurance since they ‘thought I was cutting them off’#but decided not to because ‘they’d never cut me off like that’#I endured a year of being reminded that I was delusional#I heard from friends whose parents were friends with mine how my parents are counting on my marriage failing l#bc I can’t possibly be happy married to a woman (I am)#during 2023 I spent a lot of time unpacking childhood trauma#but that’s a longer story for a different post#I have never sobbed harder than after sending my goodbye message and blocking my parents#having to cut off a family member for your own safety and peace doesn’t erase the love you held for them#I am the same age as my mother was when she had me#I am her eldest living child and was her 5th pregnancy#I look at the picture I have of my parents with me in the hospital and think about a lyric from Stick Season (Noah Kahan) a lot#‘I’ll dream each night of some version of you that I might not have but I did not lose’#and I wish I knew the version of them from that photo#I found out recently that they did end up removing me from their health insurance
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dravidious · 4 months
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You're good and cool and epicc
Finally started playing Pseudoregalia today, and got stuck for like an hour backtracking through the same areas over and over because I only had 1 ability, which was just enough to get into lots of places that had lots of dead ends that require other abilities. The perils of open-ended world design
#asks#“you can go anywhere you want! you're free to explore!”#yeah but if you don't go exactly where the devs expected you to go then you just get stuck and have no idea how to proceed#also the game is really mean sometimes!#it'll lead you on like “yeah you can make this jump into this new area with just the slide jump”#but then it's all “no that path requires the wall jump. no that one needs the high jump. no that one needs wall running.”#like why bother making areas accessible when there's NOTHING TO DO?!#that just made it way harder to find the next ability#even worse: the MAP is an unlockable ability#and if you happen to make a wrong turn then you'll just never unlock it and it'll be EVEN HARDER to find more abilities#also another mean thing! the game has consumable keys zelda-style#but combine that with the open-ended world design and suddenly you have a lot of choice about where to use your keys#sounds cool? sounds interesting? it might be! except when the game makes a TRAP LOCKED DOOR#i wasted a key on a locked door that was just a shortcut to an area that i could already reach#and then i couldn't access any of the locked doors that actually MATTER#i honestly thought that i might have softlocked myself because i was going EVERYWHERE and couldn't find ANYTHING#eventually i FINALLY found the map ability and that allowed me to see which areas i hadn't been to yet#that let me find the high jump and from there i was finally able to make progress#ended up wasting another key on a door that just had a cosmetic costume but whatever
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Text
Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
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[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
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giannaln4 · 3 months
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Wet Dream
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lando norris x fem reader
summary: Lando had a wet dream and he needs to take care of it.  (1.7k words)
warnings: mdni, + 18, smut, masturbation, fingering, unprotected sex, needy!lando
a/n: this might or might not be inspired solely by this picture. i'm not gonna lie, this is pure smut. i apologise in advance. also i'm sorry for the abrupt ending 😭 i never know how to finish these. anyway, please send some requests!
↺ back to navigation— send me a request!
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The only thing that could be heard in your shared room were your moans, loud and desperate for a release. 
You were on top of Lando as he held onto your hips for dear life, his eyes closing as the overwhelming feeling of his incoming orgasm started to grow. 
“Are you close, baby?” He managed to spit out. He needed to make sure he didn’t come before you, so his thumb landed on your clit to bring you closer to the edge. Your moans were intensifying, and god, he loved the look on your face when you were about to come.
He opened his eyes and… nothing. Nothing but pure darkness. 
He looked down at his crotch, only to spot his painful cock making a tent under the blankets. His breathing was heavy, and he was sweating a lot. 
Fuck. 
He released the bedsheets he didn’t realise he was fisting and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. 
He looked next to him and spotted you there, peacefully sleeping and completely unaware of the dream he just had. 
He closed his eyes again, hoping he would be able to ignore his painful cock, but of course he couldn’t, because as soon as he closed his eyes, flashes of his wet dream and how undeniably beautiful you looked riding him came back to him. 
He took another deep breath as he opened his eyes, once again encountering the dark room. His hand was slowly sneaking down the blankets, and when he finally found his bulge, he gave it a hard squeeze for some relief. He let out an involuntary moan, not loud enough so that it would wake you up, but the room was so silent he thought it would. 
He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it in, so instead of trying to relieve himself right next to you, he knew the right thing would be to go somewhere else and not disturb your sleep. 
He got up carefully and left the bed, looking back at you, before locking himself in the bathroom. 
He sat on the closed toilet, pulling down his boxers and finally freeing his aching member. He squeezed it again, and again, and again, before he started stroking it slowly. His grip was firm, and his groans were low as he finally gave it what it so desperately needed. 
Using his spit and the pre cum leaking from his tip, his strokes got faster, and Lando rolled up his shirt and trapped it between his teeth as he looked down at his hand, his mind trying to replace it with your pretty mouth. With that image in his mind, it got harder to contain his moans. 
⋆。° ✮ ⋆。° ✮ 
You rolled over, expecting to find your boyfriend to cuddle, like you always did. Instead, all you found was an empty spot next to you. It was still warm, so you knew he hadn’t been gone for too long. 
You closed your eyes again, figuring he’d be back in just a moment, but you heard something that made you open them again. A loud breath that you thought could only mean something had happened. 
You got up immediately, worried as you made your way to the bathroom. But once you were close enough, it clicked. You finally understood what he was doing. 
You were about to turn around, go back to bed, and pretend like it never happened, figuring he needed some privacy to finish his business, but something between your legs was begging you to help him out and calm down whatever had gotten into him.
⋆。° ✮ ⋆。° ✮ 
He was being louder than he intended, but it felt so good he didn’t even realise. His shirt was still between his teeth and his eyes now squeezed shut as he tried to bring himself to a sweet release.
His mind was replaying his dream, echoes of both of your moans filling his ears and the vivid image of you on top of him, something he wished he could plaster in his eyelids, until he heard a knock on the door that made him stop what he was doing 
“You okay in there?” He heard you ask from the other side of the door. Shit. 
“Huh?” Was all he managed to say. 
“Can I come in?”
“No!” He was quick to reply, “I’ll be right out.”
He couldn’t help but be embarrassed, feeling like a teenage boy who was just caught getting off where he wasn’t supposed to. He was ready to just go back out and act like he wasn’t just jerking off to a dream he just had.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” You asked. You didn’t hear him say anything after that, and you instantly regretted interrupting him. Maybe that was something he needed to do alone. Maybe he needed a release but didn’t need… you. 
Those thoughts were interrupted when you heard shuffling inside, followed by footsteps that got louder as he got closer to the door. 
Lando opened it, his hair messy and his shirt wet from stuffing it in his mouth. “Yes, please,” he said with begging eyes. 
You crashed your lips into him, pulling him back to the bed. 
“I can’t believe you were doing that without me,” you said against his lips. 
“I didn’t wanna bother you.” He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled you into his lap, hands falling on your hips as he brought you closer to him. 
You moaned when you felt his hard cock against you. “And keep this from me?” You asked as you moved your hips.
He bucked his hips involuntarily, the friction feeling delicious against your wet core. You kept moving on top of him as he discarded your sleeping garments, falling somewhere on the floor. You decided to do the same for him, getting rid of his shirt and running your hands up and down his muscles.
Neither of you could control the sounds that were falling from your lips, and yours only got louder when his right hand sneaked between your almost naked bodies to find your folds. He pushed one finger inside you, pumping vigorously.
“Mhm, already so wet for me,” he mumbled against your skin, his lips travelling down your neck.
“Couldn’t help it, it sounded like you were having fun in the bathroom,” you said, and you could feel a smirk creeping on his lips.
“Well, you drive me crazy even in my dreams.”
“Is that what happened?”
He hummed in response. “You should’ve seen how pretty you looked riding me.”
“Let’s make it come true then.” You pushed him on his back and got rid of his last piece of clothing, letting you see how needy his cock was. 
You admired him for a moment, and you could see him struggling to keep his hands to himself. When you finally decided you were ready, you started crawling to get on top of him, your hands landing on his bare chest.
“Ready?” 
“I’m always ready for you.” He replies, as sweet as ever. “Fuck, you’re so wet and beautiful,” Lando said, holding onto your hips as you began to get comfortable, both of your legs on either side of him. He gave your hips a hard squeeze as you got situated, just like in his dream.
You finally took his cock in your hand, stroking it slowly as you guided it to your dripping hole, a sigh of relief leaving your mouths when you sank down.
He groaned as his grip on your hips tightened when you lifted and sank back down onto him slowly.
“Feels good, baby?”
“So, so good.” His head fell back into the pillows when you rolled against him, and you couldn’t help but smile when he whimpered again. After a moment, he looked up at you. “Y/N?” He moaned your name, but it sounded more like a question.
You brushed a stray of his dark curls off his forehead. “Yeah?”
He let out another moan, his eyes falling to where you’re connected before meeting your eyes. “Faster, please.” And you listened, you began to ride him faster. “Just like that, baby,” Lando cried out.
You moaned as his dick spread you out. You began to bounce down faster and harder. Lando was losing his mind as he watched you move faster, your nails scratching down his torso. He was filling you so good he had you rolling your eyes to the back of your head every time his cock hit that sweet spot.
“Not gonna last long,” he warned you, his thumb finding your clit without even looking, although his eyes were on you the entire time, all of you, how your pussy looked as it swalowed his cock, how your boobs bounced with every roll of your hips, how your face contortioned in pleasure, and how your mouth fell open to let out the prettiest sounds he’s ever heard. He didn’t dare to look away; in case he was dreaming again, he didn’t wanna miss a single detail, and let’s face it, he didn’t wanna wake up this time.
“I’m close,” you breathed out, your legs burning from riding him, but you didn’t care; you only cared about how good he felt inside you.
“Cum with me, baby.” Both his hands returned to your hips, gripping them as he planted his feet on the bed to thrust up into you and help you move faster and more aggressively, trying to push you both over your edges.
Your own hand went to rub small circles where you were missing him as your other one fell on his shoulder to hold onto something, and before you knew it, you were coming around him. Your toes curled into the sheets, and your body trembled on top of his, making you fall forward and collapse across his defined chest.
"Fuck,” he whimpered when you squeezed him repeatedly. 
Lando had to do all the work himself, thrusting his hips upwards to meet yours, because your body wouldn’t and couldn’t move anymore as your orgasm racked through you. With four hard thrusts to your cunt, his load of cum shot up into your pussy and coated your slick walls.
Your bodies laid together as you both tried to catch your breath. His hand was rubbing your back, and his lips left a kiss on your temple, something he always did after you had sex.
“So, you had a sex dream?” You asked after a moment of silence. Lando chuckled at your question, kissing your shoulder softly before replying.
“And you just made it come true.”
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icecreampotluck · 1 year
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having the WORST day
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screampied · 5 months
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໒꒱ ₊˚ ‘ FREAK LIKE MEEE ! ’﹒
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𐚁̸ sum. jjk men kinks and their kinks/fetishizes . feat. gojo, toji, sukuna, nanami, choso.
warnings. fem! reader, unprotected sēx, edging, praise, degradation, sir kink, semi-public sēx, hair pulling, edging, overstim, mentions of breēding, blindfolds, dry humping, spīt kink, mdni.
𐚁̸ an. requested by anon
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☆ NANAMI KENTO.
“ah—you’ve got some nerve,” nanami would pant. he’s got you right where he wants you. you’re leaned over his desk, ogling as he starts to realign himself. “it’s like you just misbehave on purpose, sweetheart,” and his voice was silky warm, tender. you moan once he lifts up your skirt yet again—you’re sopping wet, a dampened patch coats the middle part of your panties. “have you been touching yourself?”
“n—no,” you purr out, although it was clear as day that you were purely lying. he could tell, nanami was a lot of things but he wasn’t an idiot. you felt so feverish, the head of his thick cock spilts inside of your cunt and you whimper out. throughout the office, all that could be heard was the faint sounds of his fax machine and the lewd squelches your sweet cunt sings out in pure harmony. this was so risky, yet you loved every second—you craved more, the thought that one of his colleagues could walk in or hear the two of you made you ten times more soaked. “yes,” you correct yourself, gnawing on your lip before you feel a sudden restraint on your hands.
nanami inhales deeply, a low groan departing from his lips before he grabs both of your wrists. “such a messy girl. can’t even finish my shift,” and he yanks his tie from his attire. nanami then swiftly ties your wrists against your back with his tie, fully buried into your cunt. he leans up close, so close—a hand gently wrapping around your throat. “gotta break this pussy before i get any work done, ‘s that what you’re telling me, my love?”
“y—yesss,” you whine out with strained lungs, before he starts to vigorously quicken his pace. relentlessly, he starts to take you over his desk. with parted legs, you moan out in sheer ecstasy. your pencil skirt was lazily pulled up to your waist. with the skirt a bit wrinkled because of his grip he makes your arch go further for him whilst pulling you closer against him. “harder, fuck me harder, kento.”
“baby, this is a place of business,” he chortles, a sharp angle of his hips makes you feel all of him. so thick— the stretch was godly, making your eyes widen and your lips quaver. so fucking big. his base thwacks against you so sloppily, swollen balls filled up with so much that your heart own mouth salivates at the thought of it flooding inside of you. “when you’re in my office, it’s ‘sir,’ okay?”
you purposely don’t reply— he gifts your ass with a spank, making you whimper out as a response.
“yes s-sir,” you moan, the sharp sting making you jolt forward against the edge of the wooden desk. your words were so candied, so sweet..
with the way your cunt constricts around his hefty length—you were emitting out such various moans for him. so loud, nanami can’t help but press himself up against you even more and move a hand to go over your mouth. “m-mphhh.”
“any louder ‘n they’re gonna here you, gorgeous,” he whispers against the shell of your ear. nanami even goes as far to licking against your earlobe, sending shivers all through you. each slow languid stroke continues to get more deeper, pretty soon you start to coat the entirety of his palm with your slick saliva. “you want my boss to hear what a messy girl you are in my office?”
he chuckles, watching you slowly nod in reply as he’s jackhammering his thick cock into you again, and again, and again. so repetitive, by this point you’re all cock drunk.
“but silly girl, you’re not supposed to want that,” and his strokes become slow yet deep—he reaches everywhere inside of your stretchy walls with ease. nanami groans at how good your pussy keeps him hostage. his voice was so abnormally low too, all up against your ear. a hand of his trails down your spine , your wrists still behind your back. “but of course you do, my wife can’t help but be a little messy for me, huh? she just can’t help it, all she thinks about is me bending her over my desk— oh, you sloppy girl. drooling all on my hand.”
his hand removes from your mouth and you’re moaning at each of his languidly deep hits. “gonna c-cum, ‘m gonna cum, kento.”
“ah ah,” he mutters, spreading your legs just a bit further. the heels you wore sunk into the floor as your mouth pries open even more. loud moans ring and reverberate throughout the room before you correct yourself.
“sir . . sir, ‘m gonna cum,” you swallow thickly, feeling him shove such thick inches in and out of you. your lungs fill up with heavy oxygen, you whimper as your head leans against the front surface of his desk. a scatter of papers going against your skin. briefly, all you could see was random markings of paperwork with neat writing, his familiar signature throughout all of them. “can i cum s-sir? pleasepleasepleaseeee.”
nanami hums, soft padded fingertips gliding against your hips as he holds you in place— he’s so deep inside, the tip of his cock kisses and mashes against your g-spot for the nth time before he groans out. “go ahead, make a mess on my desk, sweetheart. make a mess so i can make you clean up for me,” and you’re basically being rammed against the furniture, hot breaths pouring through your lips before you gasp. simultaneously, you cum—coating nothing but a pretty white ring around his shaft, his thrusts coming to a slow halt before he pauses. “. . oh,” he tilts his head back, at a lost of words for a second.
you hear the dangle of his belt from his pulled down slacks before he smiles, witnessing as you lose yourself completely—so lewd, you’re convulsing and twitching on his cock, whining for him to keep going before he tugs on your wrist. “good girl, such a good girl,” and he chuckles, watching you spread your legs open more, awaiting for him to continue. “aw, is the messy baby not satisfied?” and he’s so close up to you, his breath fans against the minuscule hairs of your neck before he’s buried so deep. you feel every inch, his hand wraps around your throat once more before he purrs in a low voice once you shake your head. “no? welllll that’s too bad,” and his voice was smooth as silk. it lowers a bit and you whine once he suddenly pulls out. “sorry, my love. not during business hours. this is all you’ll get from me,” and he turns you around to kiss your forehead, smirking at your little pout. “don’t be like that, i love you too, brat.”
☆ SUKUNA RYŌMEN
more than anything, he’s just simply into spanking your pussy.
without question—he’d have you right on his lap, preferably where he’s taking a seat on his high and mighty throne. the king of curses, occupying himself with his favorite pussy girl.
“oh my, such an impatient woman,” he’d coo up against your ear. the soft fabric of his kimono rubs off amongst your skin and you whine once you feel him spread your thighs open. “now let’s see if you’re as wet as i remember,” he whispers in a gruff tone—you’re rightfully soaked, the minute his fingers skim against your panties, he’s greeted with a sopping wet coat of your arousal. sukuna hums in amusement, watching you squirm and wriggle within his hold. “how cute,” he’d snicker, dipping a single digit into your folds. you lean back against his chest, biting on your lip before moaning out. one finger turns into two—sukuna then swirls it around before continuing to speak. “did you touch her while i was away? and don’t lie, this pussy will answer for me if you don’t, girl.”
“no—” you reply in a shuddering tone, his fingers were so long, creating a circular repetitive motion inside of your cunt before he collects a good amount of your sweetness. it sticks against his fingers the more he rummages throughout your pussy. “i didn’t touch myself, ‘kuna. promise.”
“. . . who?” he furrows his brows, abruptly pulling out his fingers before gifting your wet pussy with a mean spank. “who the fuck is ‘kuna? that’s not my name, princess.”
you whimper out, the sting feeling so good. he was purely teasing—you knew that, and your legs shook a bit solely from the impact. you bite your tongue before feeling your thighs struggle to keep themselves open. “s-sukuna?”
“tch. foolish woman,” he grumbles, sharply bringing more spanks towards your cunt. you’re so wet, dripping with so much slick that he starts to get addicted. your body language was adorable. each time he spanks it time and time again, the back of your head rubs against his chest. it makes him snicker, playfully pinching your clit just to make you sob out another melodic moan. “when it’s just you ‘n me, you’re on my lap ‘n i’m dealing with a pussy this wet, it’s ’my lord’ to you, know your place.”
with a pout, you rub against his wrist. having a little brat left in you, you purr out a, “but sukuna-”
“whore. i know you heard what the fuck i said,” he grits, giving you another spank. yet he then realizes you said that on purpose, just to make him spank your sopping wet cunt again. it feels so good, you feel hot everywhere—a sensation of tingles own throughout your body before sukuna’s palm caresses against your exposed womanhood. “freaky girl. you like that, huh? like feeling my hand hit against this nasty little mess?”
you nod, the smoothness of his hand sending you shivers before you feel the nerves buried inside of your pussy throb at full force.
so so good, another whimper wretches from your throat before you squeeze onto his knee. “course ya do. can’t help but be a nasty girl,” he grunts, and he shoves his thick slenderly fingers back inside your cunt. you swallow him so good—he groans, feeling the warmth of your pussy suffocate his digits oh so easily. “my nasty girl.”
his words only makes your pool a heat grow even more, your throat feels all dry—yet you’re starting to feel yourself salivate. with his fingers and the rapid speed of it, you could cum in just minutes. seconds even if he was feeling frisky. your legs were all sprawled out and you were just seeing colors— the way his fingers simultaneously curl up inside your folds was so filthy.
“just look at this mess,” he snarls, softly burying his fangs into his neck—a classic lip bite. as you’re laid against him, he feels his dick start to twitch in his briefs. you were so cute, trembling all from nothing but his simple touch. his words were filled with such lewdness, each time his digits rummage through your cunt, that same pop noise commences. so wet, you were in the midst of approaching your climax. it came at such a speed, your thighs shook and your jaw was practically hanging open.
it’s coming, it’s coming..
those exact words kept echoing into your brain, pant after pant departing from your lips before you whine.
“suku—m-my lorddd,” and once you correct yourself, he again pulls out his fingers covered in your sheeny slick before spanking your cunt. “oh, ohmygodddd, ‘m gonna c-cum, feel it coming, p-please.”
“what if i don’t want you to cum yet?” he teases, dragging his middle finger down your slit. by this point, your legs were a mess—shaking so strenuously that it brought jagged earthquakes to shame. the rupture that was about to take place was reaching at such a speed that even you couldn’t keep up. his warm breath fans against your earlobe before he lightly bites into your neck. “what if i want you to wait a little lo—”
“s-sukuna, sukuna, fuuuck,” you whine out, not even caring you broke character— it finally came, and not only did you climax but you ended up squirting. it shot out and he goes quiet, a devilish snicker shortly following afterward.
instantly, a crying orgasm gets tugged from your throat and you whine once he plugs his fingers back into your slick folds.
“. . awww,” he purrs seductively against your ear, watching as you lose yourself right on his lap. your legs fail to remain still, you were seeing pure splotches of white. your stomach seizes as you resume to breathe, heavy breaths snatching from your throat before you rub against his wrist for the umpteenth time. “you made a mess on my lap, naughty girl,” and then he chuckles once you pick up his hand only to make him continue to feel against your pussy. “should make you get on your knees ‘n clean it. like the good obedient girl you are. my little squirter girl.”
☆ CHOSO KAMO.
choso craves dry humping, he’s a needy baby. doesn’t even want you to strip your clothes off. he just needs you, no, he wants you.
“i missed you too, choso,” you’d giggle, feeling him wrap his strong broad arms around you. he was so warm, immediately as you walk through the door, you feel him press up against you. his scent, he smelled so good— it goes through your sinuses before you gasp once he makes you bend over the counter. “heh, baby. i can’t shower first?”
“. . . wait,” is all he says, his voice shakes as he brings clammy hands towards your hips. hitched breaths slip from his mouth as he whines, suppressing a few moans by sucking against your neck. such tender skin, he feels so hot and dizzy. choso’s wearing nothing but sweats. as you’re hunched over the kitchen counter, you feel the imprint of his exhilarated dick galvanize against your shorts. “i missed you all day today,” and his voice—although it being low, it was so sweet and genuine. a hint of want and desire runs underneath it and he makes your hips slowly grind against him. “sososo bad,” he swallows, the teeth shattering friction making cute whimpers elicit out from his sheeny spit-glossed lips. “i want you, i want you, can we—can i do this?”
you let off a small laugh. “can you what, hump me? why not just fuck me, baby. i’ll just—”
“no, nooo please,” he murmurs in a shaky voice, stopping you from pulling down your shorts. “this is fine, i don’t want you to . . to take off your clothes. i just . . i want you, i want you like this.”
you can’t help but feel your pussy twitch at his words, not just his words but his entire deliver of it all. “go ahead, baby,” you mutter in a soft encouraging voice, grabbing onto the edge of the cold counter. you could have sworn you heard a sweet cacophonies of ‘thank you, thank you’s’ escape past his lips.
he’s so needy, trembling breaths waft against your skin as he’s making your ass go up on him. with two hands, he grabs the mounds of your rear before giving it a slight teasing squeeze.
“babyyy,” he whimpers, gently seeping his teeth into your neck. softly, he sucks against the skin, feeling a little mark press into your skin from his canines. “god, i want you so bad. you feel so good against me like this, s-so warm,” and his words almost sound angelic. you giggle, starting to move against his sweatpants as he holds your waist. “yeah, keep doing that. f-fuck against me, please,” and your rhythm was slow but steady. you can feel his bulge press up against your shorts, he was big.
you only imagine how he’d feel from the inside— not just grinding against him, although you weren’t relatively complaining. not at all, the friction felt way too good. even you started to moan a bit once he makes the swerving of your hips pick up just a bit faster.
choso gasps—once your ass brushes up a particular spot, he whines. “o-oh fuck,” and you’re curious as to what happened—but instead of saying anything, he just starts to hump against you harder. “f-fuck, fuck, ‘m so hard. gonna make me cum through my p-pants, baby fuuuck.”
he became more and more vocal as the minute passes—you were feeling the heat brew up, not only against your ass but into the very depths of your abdomen too. choso’s usual pent up hair was down, going all in his face and he moans at your next few words. “it’s okay, baby. you can make a mess on me. cum for me, ‘cho.”
“your voice alone ‘s gonna make me a messy boy,” he whimpers out, feeling the brief twinge— the strain of his cock making him kiss his teeth in pleasure. “gonna c-cum, gonna cum,” he chants, and his voice was getting raspier and raspier. you swerve your ass against him ever more before seconds later—you feel a sudden damp spot.
choso grows quiet, looking down to see the slowly darkening spot coat against the grey fabric of his sweats. “hngh,” he pants, holding you still. you giggle, facing forward and it’s almost as if you can feel his eyes stare down your back. “this is the f-fifth time i ruined my sweats you bought me, baby.” he pouts, now wanting to feel the real thing—being inside of you, falling in love with the warmth of your pussy burying inside of him yet again.
“i’ll wash it for you,” you hum, turning around to finally face him. he’s so cute— flustered entirely, despite it just being dry humping, it might as well pass as simple doggystyle for choso. you stroke his cheek, bringing a kiss towards the side of his lips before his mouth twitches. adorable. “you wanna join me in the shower, baby?”
“o-oh, yes please,” he nods, and he grabs onto your hand. “can we . . can we do this in the shower too?”
you sneer, intertwining your fingers with his as he leads the way. “yeah, but this time with our clothes off okay?”
“okay.”
“good boy.”
“m-mhm.”
☆ GOJO SATORU.
gojo likes to be tied up and restrained—blindfolded even, he loves it all.
“mhm, make it tight too baby,” he teasingly says, lowering his voice purposefully. you’re straddling him, feeling his dick bury inside of you idly before you shoot him a glare. he rolls his eyes once you successfully wrap the blindfold around his eyes, then proceeding to tie up his wrists. “hehe, i’m only letting you do this because i’m bored, just so y’know.”
“shut up,” you mumble, flicking him back. he lands against the pillow and that same sly grin never leaves his face. gojo’s impatient— albeit, the downside would be that he wouldn’t be able to touch you. that thought alone brings a pout to his face. “are you ready now? or do i need to hold your hand.”
gojo giggles. “ooh, someone’s sassy today. i like that,” and he feels your hips starting to move. his hands were stretched out against the bed and he grunts once he feels your warmth hug him tight like a vice. “i let you get away with hah anything.”
“yeah you do,” you whisper, watching as he moves his head around a bit at the sound of your voice—he’s so hot, his entire body temperature rises up the more you grind your hips forward. gojo tries to maintain his little tough act but fails miserably, he’s quite literally folding underneath you. your fingers run down his neck and a moan slips out. “still sensitive from cumming too early, pretty boy?”
“don’t call me . . . that,” he swallows, another moan eliciting from his throat once you kiss all over his face. your touch, his true weakness. it had him feral, the way your ass grinds against him makes him suck his teeth. “but baby, this is torture,” he pants out, feeling your hands roam everywhere on his body— he tenses up, feeling your fingers skim against his bare chest. “if you can touch me, i should t-touch you too.”
“you always touch me,” you murmur, and he’s so deep— the fatness of his cock stuffs your cunt full to where you’re squeezing him down. he groans, wishing that he could just hold onto your hip. gojo’s head goes back and he smothers his glossed lips together. with the brief swivel turning of your hips, you move against him faster until he starts to spasm underneath you. “aw, so you are still sensitive from cumming too early, ‘toru.”
he groans, a pout spreading against his lips before he whimpers. “i—i’m not,” and he pauses his words before out of nowhere— slip.
gojo’s dick slips out of you and the moment it does, he goes ballistic.
“w-what happened?” he whines, feeling his now flaccid cock slither underneath your folds. you just sit there— almost forgetting he couldn’t exactly see, only feel. he’s all flustered, feeling your folds gradually rub against his length. “f-fuck, put it back in. don’t grind on me, angel.”
“i don’t think you deserve it yet,” you tease, reaching between his legs to stroke his dick. gojo groans, and he’s really feeling everything. the nerves inside his body had him shaking, your touch alone drove him crazy— once he slipped out, gojo wouldn’t stop begging and pleading for you to put it back in. the pout on his face never leaves before you kiss his lips as an attempt to shut him up. he doesn’t though, each mwah from you and he continues to speak, a total blabbermouth. “not until you say pretty please.”
he grouses stubbornly. “huhhh. do you know who i am?”
“you’re a bottom who’s underneath me.” you snicker.
gojo’s at a loss for words, damn. that was probably true— to be fair, he was underneath you. you were straddling his lap, watching as he becomes more and more needy for you to be inside. his hips sweetly jitters from the sudden yearn for you to be back inside. he missed the warmth of your gummy walls gripping him down tightly. “you’re being a brat, you just wanna hear the strongest beg for you, huh?”
“the strongest but i’m the only one who can make you whimper.” you kiss underneath his chin, watching as his dimples poke into his skin.
“if i wasn’t restrained i’d have pinned you down, hmph,” and his pout only stretches. you drag your pussy against his length before he eats his words, a cute whine escaping. “y-you fuckin’ brat, when ‘m free it’s over,” and his lip quivers. “baby, just put it back in, okayyy okay.”
you hum, wrapping your arms around him and he loses himself from your touch. his dick was so hard, pinkish tip desperately awaiting to be stuffing you full by now, but alas—you were stalling. “say pretty please ‘n i’ll put it back in.”
after fourteen tremendously long seconds, gojo gives in with a cute whimper following. “pretty please, pretty please put it back in so i can f-fuck you again.”
“so good for me,” you kiss his cheek, watching him quaver from your touch—he’s panting heavily before he feels your hand wrap around his cock, aligning yourself again. “aw. the strongest, more like the whiniest.”
“i— i hate you,” he whimpers at you mocking his infamous title. “now finish fucking me, brat. pleaseee.”
☆ TOJI FUSHIGURO.
he’s definitely into face fucking, if he’s ever annoyed about something or needs to unwind after a long day, the solution is nothing more than your pretty tight throat.
“knees, girl. get down f’me.”
you’d comply, your knees hitting against the soft carpet before you stare up at him—he inhales, sharp gaze lowering at you. “boo. eye problem?” he sassily says, a hand lightly grabbing onto your hair, using your head as leverage. “you know what to do. need to feel that fuckin’ mouth.”
“could be a little nicer.”
“don’t try me, little girl.”
toji takes a breath, watching as you unzip his jeans—always, he had such a bulge to him. it never failed to poke out through his pants. so delicious, you lick your lips at the sight of his hefty boxers all out in the open—basking in your pure eyesight. you don’t waste any time, whipping out his thick cock. he’s so pent up, angry mushroom tip a pinkish red color. toji’s got a few specks of black hair that coats near his base, a gossamer string of spit departs from your lips the moment you kiss his tip sloppily.
“. . . yeahhh,” he rasps out lowly, fingertips dragging through your scalp. toji’s standing tall, his dick had somewhat of a upward curve to it. with staggering inches, you were always taken aback, he loved feeling the brush of your lips skim across his frenulum. a strained breath yanks out from his lungs once he starts to feel you sink down. your throat was so warm, so wet, so tight. his head throws itself back and he chews down on the soft part of his bottom lip. “thaaaat’s it, take that shit. take it down, babygirl.”
you’re slow with your pace, taking him all the way in until his tip mashes against the roof of your mouth. if it wasn’t for your technique of breathing through your nose, you’d gag. a hand was just about to wrap around his length before he lightly smacks it away. “nuh uh, no hands. you got it.”
he snickers at your pout, watching as your hands go back down toward your sides. you make sure to swirl your tongue against his leaky tip, your pace was perfect— he swallows, tightening his grip against your hair before he makes you go faster. your head’s bobbling, quickening before by this point he’s purely face fucking you now.
“s-shit, good girl. ya gonna let me ruin this mascara, yeah?” and his voice itself was the definition of seduction—so rough, gravelly with each syllable it pronounces. your tongue lays flat, wrapping your lips around his dick before his thigh starts to bounce. “. . . damn,” he huffs out, and your jaw starts to feel heavy over time. toji’s so big, the sensation of your tongue has his head spinning. “keep those pretty eyes up here,” he murmurs, another free hand gripping underneath your chin. what a mess, your own saliva starts to pour down the sides of your mouth. “such a sloppy girl,” he titters, swiping a thumb against your lips. you stare right into his eyes and he returns you with nothing more but a sly smirk. “my sloppy girl though, right?”
you nod, feeling your mascara start to run— still, you’re breathing through your nose before you feel him start to tense up. “ah, fuck,” he grumbles, now he’s just kissing the back of your throat with his rude cockhead. “mhm, this sloppy throat ‘s gonna make me flood it with cum,” and green viridescent eyes flicker back down at you. he lightly taps against your cheek, feeling the outline of his dick. “thirsty, baby? been talkin’ about how much you had nothin’ to drink.”
again, you nod your head whilst still giving him eye contact. toji’s got your mouth stuffed full— he groans lowly, practically dragging your head back and forth against his cock. “yeah you are. open up that jaw for me ‘n i’ll clench that thirst, baby,” and he feels your maw open—your tongue lays flat, and you know he’s preparing to release. you start to even feel yourself throb between your thighs, yet you stop yourself from touching yourself. “so pretty,” he puffs out in short singular breaths. with a hand, toji wraps his right hand around his fat girth of a length before he pulls his dick out. “say ah.”
“ah,” you mimic, lolling out your tongue for him and he sneers at how obedient you were—so good for him, pink tongue ready to be painted with nothing but his worthy semen. tongue pointed out, toji fists his cock a few times—giving it a few solid pumps on your tongue before momentarily, he cums. thick satiny ropes, the moment it shoots out into your throat, upon instinct your eyes briefly squeeze shut from the taste. bitterly bitter, yet you wanted all of it. every single drop. you moan, awaiting for him to finish pouring every drop inside.
“f-fuuuck,” he grunts, painting the inside of your mouth with such strings of cum that it leaves your cheeks all puffed up. “swallow it, baby,” he mumbles, completely out of breath. you do, a few remnants of his seed glistening on your lips before he squeezes your cheeks together. “good,” and he bends down to your level, pushing your lips together. toji slyly grins, staring into your eyes before murmuring. “now, give me a kiss. don’t be greedy, i want a taste too.”
you whine, pulling him into a sultry, sloppy kiss. tongues collide against each other— tangling and twisting, various strings saliva forming into a cobweb before he pulls away, licking near the bottom of your lip where a few sprinkles of his own cum remained. “still thirsty?”
“y-yes, toji.”
“heh. thought so. dehydrated ass girl.”
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jkslipppiercing · 5 months
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Horny For My Bestie | Jeon JK | Oneshot
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☆ Synopsis: Your best friend, jungkook, is dared to take a Viagra pill at a party. He's horny for his bestie...in this case, you.
☆ Genre: Smut, angst, EXPLICIT CONTENT!!, JK'S POV
☆ Pairing: Bsf!oc, horny!jk.
☆ Warnings: honestly just a loooot of smut, Jungkook is horny out of his damn mind, horny thoughts, angst, dirty talk, oc cries during sex, oral (f receiving), spanking, a lot of kissing (duh), penetrative sex, unsafe sex (be safe out there x), he cums inside her, bitch idk what else just read it and find out 😜 oh yeah dry humping, animalistic fucking, shit like that
☆ WC: 8.5K
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a/n: AHHHHHH it's finally here!! this is my longest fic yet so.i hope you enjoy it. im so so so excited everyone support and show love!! i love you all ♡
-UNEDITED
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Her lips move, but i'm not listening.
She looks at me expectantly, like though she's waiting for a response.
Had she just spoken to me right now?
Because, not to be one of rude mannerisms, I couldn’t give a shit if I wanted to.
My body's on fire. Heat pulses through ny veins and my cock visibly throbs, and her bare thigh peeking out from the slit of her tiny dress isnt helping.
it's a given rule, not to be sexually drawn to your best friend.
I shouldn't see her this way.
I shouldn’t picture her lips sloppily sucking around me just because theyre swollen and inviting. Red and fucking attracting the hell out of my attention.
I shouldn’t picture her under me.
Above me.
On me.
Fucking hell.
Im aware of the sweat trickling down my temple.
Im highly aware of how uncomfortable I’d make her feel if I tried to adjust my seating position.
The raging hard-on would be hard to conceal if I tried to move a sliver of an inch.
Fuck, im horny.
Horny for her.
Thanks to fucking Viagra falls and Kim Fucking Taehyung.
Damn him.
the party music’s bass still rings in my ears, a reminder of how loud and chaotic taehyung’s parties always are. It breaches the peaceful silence one would usually experience sitting in a car half past midnight.
I’d picked my best friend up earlier this evening so we could go there together.
It was a weekly taehyung frat party. The usual.
The dress she chose to wear hugs her curves nicely, her makeup simple, but complimenting her features. High heels adorn her feet and that fucking dress adorns my conscience.
The tiny slit.
Tiny, tiny, little, slit.
She shifts her feet, and the dress hikes up higher.
The viagra I'd been dared to take just a little over half an hour ago had taken effect pretty harshly on my body.
My poor, poor body.
Stray strands of my hair are sticking to my forehead, my cock is growing harder by the second, and my heartbeat is beating faster than I could fucking breathe.
I cant even breathe properly.
And the damn sex appeal goddess sitting across from me in my car’s passenger seat is not making it any easier.
We’ve been sitting in this car for I don’t know how long, after I'd called out for her and asked her to leave, and drove us both to my apartment.
She didn’t look at me long enough then to notice all the distress literally draping over my body and ambushing it like a blanket, so she just obliged by my request, following me away and to my car.
Should I tell her? About the viagra?
Would it be weird?
Of course it’d be weird, you dumbass.
She’d probably be uncomfortable.
Fuck, since when was she so damn irresistible?
Fuck, just make out with me already.
Fuck, wanna fuck?
FUCK.
I’d love to fuck.
“kook.” she moans.
No she does NOT.
She didn’t moan. She just asked. But I’d love to hear her moan. When I ease into her and start fucking her with slow, languid strokes…I'd fucking love to hear that voice moan for me. For my cock.
Is she the loud type? Would she scream? Whimper? Cry?
My cock twitches, hardening by the second. It’s almost painful at this point, the viagra pumping in my veins and throwing my head in a frenzy.
Fuck, I literally want to fuck the shit outta her.
My eyes snap back to her eyes, cheeks growing red when I notice I’ve been staring at her thighs.
Great.
Now I look like a perverted asshole.
“sorry,” took me too long to respond.
Dammit.
I try to adjust my position, throwing an arm over my crotch to cover the raging hard-on. Casually.
Almost too casually, apparently, because that catches her attention.
She bats her eyelashes once at me, in what seems to me a mix of perplexity and frustration.
Same. Im also frustrated out of my mind.
But apart from that, im disappointed.
Almost angry, even.
I love y/n. as a fucking friend. Not literally. I mean, at the moment, I’d love to fuck her-
Ive said that too many times, havent i?
Anyway, she’s a friend. A really good friend. A best friend.
I always had a deep care towards her, always felt the need to be there for her just as she was for me.
So that proves the point as to why im damn disappointed in myself.
When I took that viagra pill, I hadn’t expected to be so drawn to her. I never saw myself thinking- more accurately, fantasizing- about her this way.
She’s comfortable. Platonic.
I thought it wasn’t a big deal. Thought I'd get myself a one night stand and satiate the horniness I'd feel when I took the damn pill. Call y/n a cab and go back home with a hooker on my dick.
I almost cringe.
But instead of doing just that? I panicked and looked for her. Searched the crowds for her. Called out for her and asked her to come with me.
I thought it was a good idea to take her to my car. Drive her to my apartment. Where I live alone. At half-passed midnight.
My thoughts were driven by her, seeming to believe that I’d calm down if I set my eyes on her.
I was the biggest dumbass.
Here I fucking am, horny out of my mind, for my best friend of all people.
I want her as a friend. No…need. I need her as my friend.
And lord help me, I'm horny for my bestie.
“was distracted.” I clear my throat, scratching at my nape awkwardly.
“why are you blushing?” there's the slightest hint of amusement in her tone, curiosity clouding her soft irises.
“me? Blushing?” I snort. I don’t blush. What a stupid question to ask.
Instead of verbally replying to me, she shifts her eyes rapidly towards the rear view mirror then flicks them back to me, as if telling me to ‘see for myself’.
I do just that, and all earlier amusement is replaced with embarrassment when I realize that, fuck, I am blushing.
Im fucking blushing.
My cock hurts.
Im sweating.
Discomfort swirls in my mind.
Horniness clouds my vision.
She laughs at me expression, which only deepens my frustration.
Only when I remain stoic, does her laugh die down. She looks to be confused once again, probably because she’s not used to me being so serious.
Usually, we’d laugh it off. We make fun of anything and everything, even sometimes each other.
So for her to burst out laughing and me not to join her?
that’s weird for us.
Honestly, she has a right to be confused.
Never once since I had met y/n had I seen her in the light im seeing her in right now.
Naked.
Choked.
Ruined.
Fucked.
My eyes glue to her lips and I can’t seem to tear my gaze away.
I cant help it.
Im not even aware im doing it.
How would they feel? Soft?
Would she kiss slow, soft, and passionate?
Or rough, hard, and hungry?
When I remain silent and tense, she speaks with even more evident amusement.
“if you wanna kiss me, you could just ask…” she trails off into another light laugh.
Okay, she’s trying to lighten up the mood.
Except, my eyes cant help but flutter shut at the image of her lips on my own with her on my lap. Grinding on my lap. Moaning into my mouth. Smiling against my lips.
My cock fucking hurts.
This time, when I pull my eyebrows together and pinch my nose bridge in exasperation, she doesn’t let it slide.
Her brows pull in their own adorable frown as she eyes me weird.
She’s trying to read me, I realize.
She opens her mouth, but I beat her to it.
“don’t say things like that.” Just above a hard whisper. my cock throbs and I have to lean my head against the headrest. I face forward, not wanting to torture my poor dick any longer by looking at her. “not to me, y/n.”
I cant fucking breathe.
My eyes hooded and on the dark, moonlit sidewalk facing the forefront of my apartment, I try to calm my breathing.
In…out…in…out…
Nope.
Not working.
“relax.” She's growing irritated.
Good.
Maybe then she'd leave so I can stop myself from doing something I'd regret.
Except im parked in front of my building in my car.
And it’s way too late for her to go back to her place alone.
I almost scoff at how ridiculous that sounds.
y/n? alone? On the streets? Wearing that?
Fuck no.
I cant relax.
“you went quiet again.” Huh?
I turn my neck to her, head still on the headrest.
She reads the question in my eyes, “you wandered off. Again. You’ve done it multiple times by now.” She mumbles.
Shit.
Well, I cant just tell her Im horny out of my mind for her.
Instead, I say, “just got something on my mind. A little distracted.”
“but you’re never distracted like this, jungkook.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
“it means you're giving me excuses.” She speaks louder now, more clearly. “you chew on your bottom lip when you're distracted. Your eyes grow doe and wide, giving you a ‘deer in the headlights’ type of look. You run your hands through your hair too many times, as well.”
Ignoring the flutter in my chest because ‘damn, she noticed all those things about me?’, I stare at her in question. “so?”
“so, you’re not distracted. Something's obviously wrong and you’re not telling me.” She lets a hint of frustration slip through. “you seem angry. Irritated. Your hand's clenching around the wheel so hard, your knuckles are white.”
I loosen my hold, now realizing I am.
“your eyes arent round and thoughtful. Theyre hard and hooded. You havent ran your hands through your hair once- and you even scratched your neck.”
“look-“
“you’ve been doing that tongue thing with your cheek for the last twenty minutes!”
Throwing her hands around the cramped space of the car in exasperation, her voice raises.
My mouth opens only to close again.
She’s left me speechless, and fuck, I want her even more badly than ever before.
I panic.
It’s between picking her up and taking her up to my bedroom, or finding a way to get her out of here…fast.
“take my keys.” I remove my car key from the ignition, opening her palm and closing it around it. “drive to your apartment.”
She gapes at me.
“I’ll take a taxi to yours and get the car back tomorrow morning. Or you can come pick me up and we'll figure something out. Call if anything happens.”
I grab my jacket from the backseat, discreetly concealing my crotch with it as I hop out of the car.
The cold night's breeze smacks my cheeks harshly, giving me a weird type of relief.
I relish the distraction from my thoughts for as long as possible as I walk to the building without looking back.
If I turn around and find her staring at me, she’ll be sore and begging by tomorrow morning.
Limping to the bathroom to wash my cum off.
I shake my head at my immaturity.
Get a godforsaken grip.
Except when im just about taking the first steps toward the apartment building, I hear my passenger car's door open and close, with the clanking of high heels against asphalt reaching my ears.
y/n halts in front of me when I remain frozen in place, and all I can do is curse under my breath at the absurdity of the situation.
“what you're doing is unfair.” With her head held high, she cranes her neck back to stare at me.
She’s hella irritated.
And frustrated.
Again, bestie, same.
“go home, y/n.” or else I'll do something that we’ll both regret.
“or what?”
Or I’ll ruin our friendship.
But I don’t say that.
“why am I expected to just listen?” her voice hardens with distaste. “you’ve ruined my night.”
“ruined your night?” I can’t help the dry tone that bleeds into the rasp of my voice into the cold night air.
“I met this guy, you know.” She laughs, but it’s humorless. Sad. I use her tone to distract myself, knowing that if I dwelled on what she had just said too much, I was gonna bury that “guy” six feet under by tomorrow. “it was going well. Thought I had a chance with him.” Like hell she did.
A muscle in my jaw ticks.
She averts her gaze to look at the concrete beneath us, only to stare up at me with resignation.
“but then you came. You happened. You grabbed my wrist and told me to come with you. I didn’t ask, and here we are.”
My eyes soften.
“tell me what’s wrong, please.”
“okay.”
Her eyes brim with hope.
“yeah?”
Fuck. Me.
“yeah. Let’s go up first. I cant have you freezing under my watch.”
She nods before a rough shiver racks her body, as if she’d just now realized how cold the night air kissing her cheeks really is.
Considering my still rock-hard cock and painful arousal, I can’t put my jacket on her. I cant give it to her, because then she’d see. Im already burning the hell up and am profusely sweating, which im sure she notices.
She’s been eying me with curiosity for a while now, trying to figure out what actually is wrong with me.
I don’t blame her.
Shivers relentlessly rack her body as her hair blows with the wind.
So I sling an arm over her shoulders and rub her arm with my hand, desperate for some sort of friction to warm her up, leading us both into and up the building to my apartment.
Unlocking the door and pushing it open, y/n walks in quietly behind me.
It’s unnerving.
She hasn’t said a thing.
Yet.
Oh, boy. Here we go.
“Y/n-“
As soon as I turn around, her lips are moving in the softest rhythm imaginable.
She speaks and those bright pink pillows move, and the horny haze blocking my sight highlights her lips’ movements.
My cock pulses when she bites her lip.
What the fuck.
My eyes remain focused on her lips- and yes, im aware of how uncomfortable that must make her feel- even as she sways with a half-step.
She rubs her palms together, and when she looks up at me with innocent eyes and a sheepish smile?
I want to ruin her.
If she lets me…nothing about this night is going to end up “innocent”.
My eyes darken when I realize what she had just said.
“I noticed your boner, like, twenty minutes ago.”
I open my mouth to speak, but I close it right back when I don’t find anything to say.
Im at a loss for words.
Fuck, her lips are so soft. And swollen. And soft.
So fucking soft.
Focus, asshole.
Her lips tip up in an attempt of making me smile along with her, but all she gets in return is a grumpy scowl.
Not gonna lie, if I wasn’t such a horny prick right now? I wouldve laughed with her.
But now, all I could do is scowl in response.
Which makes her almost-smile fall.
I didn’t scowl at her. I scowled at the boner.
But she doesn’t know that, asshole.
Kill me now.
She clears her throat. “I also…um…” well that’s unlike her. “I saw you take that viagra thing. You know…the thing that made you so horny you’re scowling at me.”
Now that makes me snort. Loudly.
She laughs with me.
I almost forget my aching cock at the sight of her smile.
“so what happens now?”
“let me kiss you.”
We both speak at the same time, and my eyes widen in sync with hers.
Her mouth hangs open, and I look away in embarrassment.
Why the fuck is she eying me like that?!
What did she expect?
I’m horny.
She's here.
Doesn’t need a genius to piece it together.
Or maybe im an idiot who shouldn’t have thought about it that way.
But im also an idiot who took a viagra pill for a dare.
Im so horny I'd fuck a wall, for fuck’s sake!
I rake a hand through my hair in frustration…and something that achingly resembles resignation.
My cock hurts, man.
I’m sick of this shit.
“what?” I bite out.
She continues to gape at me.
My eyes droop low and slowly go over her dress.
My patience simmers on high heat as my anger almost boils over.
It’s either she gets the fuck out of my sight or she puts me out of my misery.
She's a goddess I’d be on my knees to worship in a heartbeat.
I can think of a lot of ways I can worship the effort she put into this goddamn dress.
I’m willing to fucking beg.
I am.
“you want to kiss me?”
Well, no shit, Sherlock. Didn’t she hear me zay exactly that?
“yes, y/n, I want to kiss you.” I snap impatiently.
Maybe if I wasn't in physical pain I wouldn't be such a prick.
When her eyes gloss over and she avoids eye-contact, there’s this prickly feeling that something’s on her mind.
“what is it?” I ask, making sure to soften my tone.
She shakes her head.
Fuck no.
I step closer to her, forgetting about my cock for the sake of communication, and swipe the hair barricading the frame of her face to tuck behind her ear.
Her neck remains craned down in an awkward situation, and im incredibly aware of how clear of an image she has of my boner.
She doesn't make fun of it, though.
She just stares at it, which kind of makes me uncomfortable.
So to get her to stare at my eyes, instead, I hook my index finger under her chin and lift her face up.
Her eyebrows pinch in a confused frown and her lips push forward in an adorable question.
I stroke her chin with my thumb.
What? It just feels right.
“ask.”
“what?”
“I know you want to ask me something. You always go quiet when you do.”
She tries to avoid my gaze again, but I pinch her chin firmly, keeping her right where I want her to be.
She looks up at me, and fuck.
Those eyes.
“I know im being kind of an asshole.” She hums and I chuckle. “but don’t let that get to your head. Im also your best friend.”
She smiles.
“your very horny best friend.”
She breathes out a soft laugh.
“so, as your best friend, please tell me what is it?” I reason with her. she's always been this stubborn. Wont ever tell me what’s on her mind unless I pry. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.”
It’s like I can feel her resolve melt right in front of my eyes.
My pretty little y/n. all she needs is pretty words and empty promises to give in.
The reminder of the guy she met tonight sneaks back into my conscience, along with the tiny slit of the dress she was wearing.
High heels and high ponytails.
Sex, money, feelings.
I cant help but physically weaken at the thought of someone else touching her like this.
Their hand on her chin tilting her face up. The way she simply obliges by the movement and shows no intention of rebellion against it.
Fuck…what if she had refused to come with me tonight?
Would she have fucked him?
Should I even care?
“do you want to fuck me because im the only available option?”
The words are out of her mouth one second, and by the next, my lips are on hers’.
I kiss her with feverish dreams.
I kiss her with a hard cock.
I kiss her with a passion I had no idea of possessing.
Fuck, I kiss her.
I slip my tongue in her mouth with a moan.
I revel in the way her breath stops when I slide it against hers’.
I smile when she bites my lip for a stance of dominance.
Except I know for a fact that if I wanted to, I could have her punished and writhing for my cock in a minute.
I kiss her.
And she kisses me back.
When she scratches against my scalp and pulls at the strands of my hair, arching her back against me, I'm hit with the sudden realization of her earlier question.
She wants me to be attracted to her.
Desperately.
She’s kissing me- devouring my lips, even- pushing and pulling and arching her body against mine because she wants me to want her.
Dare I even say, she wants me to want her as much as she does me.
She wants me.
y/n desperately wants me.
The best friend I’ve known for years has been yearning for my touch, and I’ve been oblivious to it.
Stupid motherfucker.
My cock restrains when I slide my hands over her body, holding everything I can reach, but staying respectful. I inch toward the curve of her ass, but stop.
My hands barely graze the round of her breast, but I don’t go further.
Because I don’t know that she wants me. It’s a deducted conclusion, yet not a fully proven one.
Im giving her a chance to back down.
I rest my hands on her waist, and push her body closer to mine, craning my neck and giving in to the kiss deeper.
She bites my lip again, pulling it with her teeth and my eyes almost roll back at the feeling.
I'm torturing myself.
My cock aches for release and my body calls for her.
Yet, I just cant get enough of her damn lips.
She pulls away- reluctantly- with wide eyes and a crazed expression.
All swollen lips and smudged lipstick.
I almost whimper.
“wait.” She blinks away and I can almost feel her mind drift off.
She disentangles her body from mine and runs her hands through her hair, as if trying to regain a semblance of control over herself.
“hey.” Calling out softly, I reach out for her, for some of her.
I want her so fucking badly.
She doesn’t reply, only taking a step back and shaking her head.
My hand falls.
I push away my horny thoughts for a second.
Is that…regret I see on her face?
“y/n.” I call out again, mind swirling harder and only growing more drowsy by the second.
“you just kissed me.”
“I did.”
“why?”
What's that supposed to mean?
“because I wanted to?” my confusion is palpable.
“you didn’t answer my earlier question.” She doesn’t look at me.
She doesn’t look at me and my heart near sinks.
What question?
“do you want to fuck me because im the only available option?”
Oh. That.
“what?” is all I can say.
I don’t know what to say.
“you want to fuck me, right?” she doesn’t fucking look at me.
Why wont she look at me?
My shoulders tense and my eyebrows knot.
Would that be such a crime? Us fucking?
Apparently so, to miss y/n.
I thought she wanted me?
Guess I was wrong.
“yes.” I do.
“why?”
“what the fuck do you mean, y/n?” I cant help the rough edge that bleeds into my tone.
I thought we were getting somewhere.
She let me kiss her.
“why do you want to fuck me?”
“because I want to?”
I take a step closer, and she takes one back.
What the fuck?
“you’ve taken a sex pill, jungkook.” And?
I stay silent.
“that pill makes you horny.”
I hum impatiently, urging her on.
“we’ve been best friends for seven years, and you just now want to fuck me and do things to me?”
A sadistic chuckle rips out of my chest. I feel my heart bleed, but I try to shift the feeling to ice in my veins.
Except white hot lust is literally pumping through my system, and it’s with great effort that im able to contain my impulse.
Oh, and, by the way?
Pretty eyes still won't look at me, and it makes my blood boil.
Fucking boil, I tell you.
Would I pull her close and tell her to voice her insecurities if I didn’t want her?
If I didn’t care for her?
Would I kiss her?
“you’re not answering me, jungkook.”
Her eyes are not on mine and im panicking.
Does she think im using her?
“you wanna know why I want to fuck you?”
At my ice cold tone, she finally looks up.
And when I begin my stride toward her slowly cowering frame, she goes on with taking retreating steps.
“why I want to ruin you?”
Another step closer, met with another step back.
“why I want to hear your scream my name?”
I can see her clench her legs together, and when she bumps against the wall with a shiver, all I can do is laugh bitterly.
The predator and prey trance ceases when I halt in front of her with both hands against the wall on either side of her head.
Im caging her in, and she's shivering underneath my scrutiny.
It does little to satiate the inhumane sadistic urges containing me.
“tell me why.”
My hand slides down, down, down, until I find the curve of her hip and firmly hold my hand there.
“you don’t get to call the shots.” A squeeze at her hip. “not here,” my neck drops until my breath is met with the curve of her ear. I let my voice deepen into a rasp when I come dangerously close to the lobe of her ear. “not now.”
Her breath hitches, and when I step between her legs and pull her body flush against mine, all she's able to do is gasp.
My hand’s on her waist, arching her back as she’s pressed against me. The feeling of my thigh against her heat is driving me farther than insane.
I can feel the slick between her thighs on mine, wetness seeping through her panties and onto my jeans. I’m sure she can feel my rigid outline through my slacks, because she has the audacity to shift her thigh so that it connects with my arousal.
A little harsher contact than usual.
I cant help but hiss.
Everything she does now is ten times more heightened, but im not sure she knows that.
When I move my thigh toward her core in return, she grinds back onto it.
A small whimper graces my ears.
“now who’s being needy?” a humorless chuckle.
Belittling.
Humiliating.
But she couldn’t care less as she breathlessly moans in return and starts to ride my thigh.
Pathetic.
Turns me on.
I press my thigh even farther up her core as confirmation.
She moans louder this time, the sound like music to my ears.
“still wanna know the answer to your stupid question?” I smirk against her ear with a slight lilt of tease in my voice, knowing if she wasn’t riding high on a wave of pleasure, she would’ve- without a doubt- smacked me or poked my rib playfully.
But the thing is, she can’t.
She closes her eyes, frantically growing more needy with every bump and grind of her pussy against my clothed thigh.
She’s close when she gasps and clutches my bicep for support.
“not so easy.” I take her moment of vulnerability as payback for what she’s had me go through tonight.
Im in physical pain.
And im damn willing to make her suffer.
She audibly whines when I completely pull myself away from her, taking a victorious step back.
I just robbed her of her orgasm.
Ha.
“what the fuck?” she grows defensive now, coming nose-to-nose with me as she gets all in my face.
Cute.
My smile’s wolfish.
That only irritates her more, and I honest-to-god expect her to punch me right here and now…
But she doesn’t.
Instead, she lets out a huff- a fucking adorable one- and stalks off.
She hastily grabs her purse and shoves a hand in it, seemingly searching for her phone.
My smile instantly drops.
“what are you doing?” distaste.
She doesn’t answer me.
In an instant, she’s shoving the door open and the next, im walking over to her, pushing the door closed and turning her around.
Calmly.
I have no fleeting idea how the fuck I managed to keep myself controlled.
I pin her against the wooden door with a hand on the side of her neck and another on her middle.
“when I ask you a question,” my head dips down and I gently graze my nose against her jaw. “you answer it.”
She shoves me, clutching my shirt and crumpling it when she tries to push me away.
But her body does otherwise.
She arches against me and her breathing grows ragged.
She’s almost as turned on as I am, her nipples pebbled and hard through the sheer material of the dress.
So when she pushes me away, I remain rooted in place with a mocking smile on my lips.
“no.”
“no?” she echoes, infuriated and almost resigned.
A low hum reverberates as my confirmation.
“why?” she asks so quietly I strain to hear her, even through our very close proximity.
I can hear her heartbeat racing.
But it’s not even close to the rate of mine.
“because I want you.” A rough whisper.
A vulnerable confession.
“then kiss me.”
She wont have to ask me twice.
When my lips finally reconnect with hers’ in a dreamy haze, she kisses me back with insane need.
Im afraid once I start, I wont be able to stop.
Im not even sure I would want to.
Her purse falls to the floor as she circles her arms around my neck, pulling me down and further into the poison that is her.
She’s a drug.
And count me fucking addicted.
She bites my lower lip and tugs, shamelessly drawing blood and fuck if this girl will be able to walk tomorrow.
“I want you.”
I pull away as much as she allows me to, but my lips are barely off of hers’ and on her throat before she grabs my face and makes out with me again.
All I can do is moan into the dream that is her mouth in return.
She tries to take her heels off- failing miserably with her growing more preoccupied with my mouth by the second.
I groan impatiently and bite her lip, tasting her with my tongue and never getting enough it.
Her whimpers and my grunts get lost somewhere along our undying need for each other.
“up.” She jumps at the command, legs latching onto my middle which I catch and hold on to.
Our mouths remain one as I carry us both to my bedroom.
Fuck me if I aint taking this seriously.
Ive been wanting this girl for I don’t know how long, been in denial for even longer.
How could anyone not want her?
Her hair, her lips, her body, her eyes, her nose, her damn lips.
Those fucking lips.
My end, my demise.
She detangles them from our very sloppy make-out to lazily drag them along the column of my throat.
Slowly,
Boldly,
Teasingly.
I cant help but grind up into her in response.
I guess the low approving growl that reaches her ears turns her on, because she grinds back even wilder.
Feeling like I will most definitely combust, I set her on her feet in the middle of the hallway.
Her eyes round in confusion as to why I stopped just barely two steps away from my bedroom.
I could take her there.
On her knees, ass up.
On her back, knees apart.
On me, back arched.
But my cock aches and im two minutes away from begging if she doesn’t let me be inside her for another second.
This is torture.
She is torture.
So I give her mouth one last sloppy kiss before turning her around and-gently- pushing her against the wall. She winds up with her cheek pressing against it as well as her tits restrained in the tight confinement between her body and the solid concrete wall.
Pressing the palms of her hands on it for balance, she yelps when I grab her hips and pull them towards me.
She’s like a doll I can throw around however I like.
And im bewildered how easy she’s letting me off.
Under other circumstances, I would’ve gotten a huff or a whine in protest, but now?
She pushes her ass farther against my crotch and grinds.
She grinds her fucking ass on my dick and I think I might cry from the pain of wanting to be inside her.
Enough waiting.
I roughly pull the hem of her dress above the arch of her ass and fuck if it isnt the prettiest sight.
She lets out a sigh which turns into a moan when I land a light-careful- spank on her ass.
It’s careful because I don’t know what she likes.
Rough and hungry?
Sweet and slow?
The former would be more convenient, considering the circumstances of us being horny out of our minds.
But the latter would be more pleasant, especially since her body is way more delicate than I could ever imagine.
I wouldn’t force anything on her, of course.
Goddamn it, im gagged.
She spreads her legs wider for me as she grinds, moaning “more” in the most pornographic voice ive ever heard.
A pained groan and a harder slap is what she gets for that.
That torment.
The thong she’s wearing almost bares her pussy to me, and at that particular sight, I am a mad man.
I pull her thong down down down, and pull her ass up up up.
She glistens with the evidence of her arousal, and a low groan of pleasure shamelessly escapes me.
“You’re unbelievable.” Shock.
“In a good way?” Confused.
Getting on my knees as fast as I can, I latch my mouth onto her opening and do what I shouldve done a long time ago.
I worship the incredible goddess that’s been right in front of my eyes for ages.
I nibble, lick, and suck, moaning into her pretty pretty pussy.
She’s so fucking pretty.
I hope she knows it.
At least after this, I’ll make damn sure she gets that fact straight.
Unbelievable.
She is.
She moans and moans and moans, and all I need is a little friction to cum in my restraining boxers.
So I do what I need to; palm my dick through my jeans while I bury my face into her pussy.
So fucking beautiful.
Just like I imagined.
I suck her clit into my mouth and suck, in which she bucks her hips into my face in a moaning plea for more.
Toying with her clit and nibbling on her sinful taste has me on my knees. Literally.
I wouldn’t hesitate to fucking beg this woman.
If she asked me to? There’s probably nothing that would make me say no to her.
Nothing.
Im afraid im already obsessed.
She grinds once onto my mouth, gasping once she’s realized what she'd done.
“it feels good?” I press an open-mouthed kiss on her opening, using my tongue to tease into it.
She whimpers loudly, her legs opening wider for me.
“such a needy slut.”
She whines at that, and with no warning I push two fingers into her aching heat.
Her very, very, wet and soaking heat.
A barely audible gasp is out of her mouth when I push another finger in and take her clit back into my mouth, squeezing her ass-cheek with my free hand.
“what do you want?” and I start fucking her with my fingers.
“please…” her breath hitches right when I curl them, reaching a spot that made her clench around me and buck her hips wildly against my face.
“you wanna cum? Huh? All up against my mouth?”
She’s fucking dripping all over me, and it's just about the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
I continue my ruthless finger-fucking until I feel her moans build up so high I have to spank her ass.
“shhh, baby. You’re doing so well.” I massage the red hand-print gently, slightly guilty at the rough spank I delivered. “let’s not give the neighbors a show they didn't ask for.”
But fuck, I love hearing her moan for me.
My movements don’t stop as they even heighten in intensity, but all I hear is her harsh breathing in return.
She chose to be obedient.
“Good girl.”
She whines quietly, and she clenches around my moving fingers again as she inches closer to her orgasm.
“yeah?” im waiting for her confirmation.
“yeah.” She says breathlessly, her hips arching further as she shamelessly offers her dripping pussy to me.
Goddamn the effect this woman has on me.
My cock twitches with the reminder of my horniness, and my breath grows ragged along with hers.
My fingers remain unrelenting as I pick the pace up further and curl them, sucking her clit into my mouth and toying with it using my tongue.
Breathing seems to be a far possibility for me when she clenches her pussy so tight it's almost hard for me to move.
Like she’s holding me there.
“Cum for me, baby.”
A high moan barely escapes her as she muffles the sound with her hand. Biting on her hand to quiet down, she reaches her orgasm and I moan when her legs shake.
She’s trembling, fucked out as she grinds back on my mouth with her hand covering hers.
I rub my cock through my jeans only once, and that’s all it takes for me to cum with her.
I tongue-fuck her through her orgasm, my hand on my clothed cock persistent, even as it gets a little uncomfortable.
She quietly begs me when I’ve overstimulated her, so I press one last kiss to her pussy and get on my feet.
Y/n holds onto the wall for support before straightening her back and leaning her weight against me.
She breathes heavily and her eyes are closed when she wobbles around to look at me.
Is she too spent already?
Too bad.
We’re nowhere near done.
“take me to bed.”
“we’re not done yet.”
“I didn’t say we were.”
She gets on her toes, pressing a sloppy kiss to my mouth as she fondles with my shirt.
I suck on her tongue when she opens a button and slips a hand into my shirt, feeling me up with her nails. She scratches me on my chest, on my abs, and wherever her hands can reach.
My cock goes back to its aching state, at that.
“mm, baby.” I pull back and exhale a sigh when she successfully unbuttons my shirt and throws it on the ground.
She guides a single finger over my abs- which flex as an approving reflex- and plays with the waistband of my boxers peeking out of my pants.
I’m reminded with the sticky material pressing against me right then and there, and she noticed the damp spot over my crotch when she pulls my pants down.
She looks up in surprise, apparently shocked that I’m so horny I came in my damn boxers.
Not gonna lie, a first for me, too.
I smirk. “surprised?”
“very.” She laughs.
I like this. Her. I can be who I am with this woman.
I can laugh with her during foreplay, for example.
On her knees, she looks up at me through innocent eyes and dark lashes as she pulls the barrier of my boxers down.
She stares at my length, appearing impressed- and scared- at the sheer size of it.
“fuck. You drive me insane.” A low grumble of bewilderment.
“I know.” A giggle of satisfaction. “you wanna fuck my throat?”
Judging off the fact that she goes to take me in her mouth, probably thinking I’ll say ‘yes’, she presses a kiss to the tip of my cock before sucking it into her mouth.
Such a fucking tease.
But we’re not doing this.
Not now.
I struggle to suppress a moan, pulling her up by her hand as I shake my head.
“Maybe another time.”
She stares at me with a scrunch of confusion in her brows before nodding in understanding.
I take her hand in mine and wrap it around my cock, stroking it once
Her eyes droop low in a shadow of wanting need as she watches the movement with her bottom lip between her teeth.
As I guide her through the hand job, I pull her to me by the neck, her hand in mine stuck between our bodies as I kiss her with feverish need.
Her rhythm accelerates and she squeezes me, making my orgasm almost tip over the edge.
I hold back with all my might as I loudly release a pornographic moan in her mouth, as to which she smiles into the kiss in return.
She bites my lips and pulls it to her before releasing it, sucking on my tongue right after. Stroking me even faster as she presses her mouth to me farther.
I can barely keep up, bur I’m not complaining.
It’s been a while since I’ve had sex this hungry.
She’s impatient and I’m testing her limits.
But I’m afraid my limits were crossed over in the process.
Apparently in the mood to torture myself now more than ever, I pull both of our hands away from my cock right as I’m about to cum.
“what’s wrong-“
“I need to be inside you.” She closes her mouth shut.
“need to feel you around me.” I kiss her.
“need to cum inside of you.” She moans.
“who's stopping you?”
Well damn.
Right to the point.
“shut up.” As I carry her to my bedroom.
Neither of us have time to contemplate anything as I set her gently on the bed.
She slightly bounces, at which she giggles at as I get rid of the bunched up dress at her waist.
Pulling it over her head, her tits bounce as she plops back onto the mattress and takes me down to her by her grip on my neck.
“easy, baby.” I smirk before her lips are on mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
We're both naked.
Skin to skin.
Me and my best friend.
My cock glides easily along her pussy, a result of her being so wet.
For me.
Pretty baby’s as horny for me as I am for her.
“gonna let me fuck you good?” I pant as my hips accelerate in rhythm, bumping and grinding against her. “huh?”
She moans when my tip nudges her clit, and I do it again and again as we both grow needier.
Hungrier.
More and more desperate for the feel of each other.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go back once I’ve gotten a taste of her.
So I take my damn time.
Her hot, wet pussy glides smoothly along my length as I grind on her frantically.
We’re like horny bunnies in heat, eager for release.
Unable to wait any longer, I stroke my cock once before nudging it along her entrance.
She moans at that, and looks down as she watches me jerk myself off with the tip inside her.
I stroke myself only once more, and she says, “do that again.”
She likes watching me jerk-off?
Well, fuck.
“you like that?”
She moans and clenches around my tip when I stroke myself again. Writhing underneath me makes her look borderline desperate as she pants.
Her tits go up and down in rhythm with her rushed breathing, and her peaked nipples beg for attention.
I take a nipple in my mouth, entering y/n one inch further.
A little sigh of contentment is all I get before she clenches around me so hard my breath is cut off.
I groan around her nipple, slightly biting on it as I release it with a pop.
I go slow the rest of the way it takes me to fully nestle inside y/n’s pussy.
She feels heavenly, so warm and wet and- heavenly.
My eyes are hard on the spot where my pelvis meets hers in an incredible show of intimacy, and my jaw clenches from how fucking tight she is.
y/n catches my attention by digging her nails into my forearm, silently pleading me to look at her.
So I do.
And, fuck. I might bust a nut right here and now.
y/n’s crying.
A tear runs down her face and she sniffles. Once.
I smooth a palm down her cheek, pushing stray strands away from her pretty face.
“what’s wrong?”
My cock is so deep in her that I’m 100% sure, if I press down on her stomach, I'll feel it there.
She struggles to answer me, her voice barely above a whisper when she whispers to me.
“it hurts.” Her voice breaks. “it hurts s-so good.”
The way her voice trembles and shakes is making it hard for me to breath.
Okay…
She’s an emotional fuck.
Such a pretty emotional fuck.
“You’re too big.”
I lock eyes with her when I slightly nudge my hips forward, her eyes snapping shut right when I do so.
Silently, I press a reassuring kiss to her lips which makes her open those pretty dreamy eyes for me.
“we’ll make it work.” With a deep sigh, I pull out of her only to slowly thrust my way back inside. “I’ll make it fit…” I snake a hand down her body to circle her clit gently. She whimpers. “…and it’ll feel good.”
She hums when I repeat my movements with slow reassurance, letting her adjust and take her time.
“look at you. Doing such a good job for me.”
She pulls me in deeper with her legs as they circle around my hips, caging me in as her nails graze my back.
She moans in my ears and I’m barely able to contain my damn hunger when she bites her lip while maintaining eye contact.
What on earth is happening to me.
Love?
Must be an insane amount of lust injected into my veins.
Does viagra have this long of an effect?
I’ve swam deep into this pool of desire, so lost in her eyes and breathy moans that I don’t notice how fast my thrusts have grown.
On a particularly harsh thrust, my hips brutally snap into hers as I pull out and do it again and again until she’s breathlessly moaning my name with tears in her eyes.
“yeah?” I dip my head into the damp crook of her neck.
She smells so damn sweet.
Like cherries, and….strawberries?
Maybe even a hint of vanilla.
Jesus christ.
Get a damn grip.
“it feels so good.” As she chokes on a sob.
“mhm?” I groan into her neck, the sound a low grumble of approval. “you wanna say that again?”
My hips are moving an animalistic speed at this point as she claws at my back and cries my name.
“jungkook!” a sob.
“you gonna cum for me? Huh?” I circle her clit again, and when I feel her clench so tight around me I can barely move, I know she’s cumming.
Without removing my face from her neck, I cover her mouth with my hand and snap my hips into hers again and again. Relentlessly.
“cum for me.”
She screams into my hand and bites it to muffle the sound, her body shaking under my own trembling body.
She whimpers as she comes down from her high, kissing my hand as a way of asking me to remove it.
My rhythm grows sloppy and lazy as my thrusts slow down, and with one last hard thrust into her, I’m biting into her neck with a rough “holy fuck” as I cum the hardest I've ever have in my whole 26 years of living.
I still inside her, unmoving as I kiss her neck lazily- apparently unable of giving up the sweet scent of her- as she runs her hands over my back and into my hair.
We stay like that for a while, both silent and content, the post-orgasm glow evident on both of our high faces.
Humming into the sweet taste of her throat, she giggles as the gesture seems to tickle her. One last kiss to her neck.
I roll off of her, careful not to crush her with my weight. We both grimace when I pull out of her, equally overstimulated.
We were horny best friends, frustrated and bothered just a little while ago.
Now?
We’re still best friends…I think.
Best friends who fucked like animals in heat.
But, unlike how I expected it to be, it’s not awkward at all.
When I turn my head to look at the beauty lying next to me, she has her eyes already closed as she seems to be dozing off to sleep.
I get up, making quick work to grab a glass of water and some damp towels, sitting back down next to her.
Cleaning her up only takes me a couple minutes to do the task as gently as I could, careful not to hurt her. I almost feel bad from how swollen and sore she’s going to be tomorrow.
I bend down and press a peck on her clit, the intention one of pure apology.
Maybe I went too hard.
“what’s that look for?” her voice speaks up from next to me.
“hm?”
“you’re frowning. Why?”
“I just- I'm sorry if I hurt you.” A small smile. “I got a bit carried away.”
“mm, you did.” She agrees.
Wait…did I actually hurt her?
She cackles at the hint of alarm in my eyes as she swats my arm.
“you’re okay, big guy. You didn’t hurt me…much.” She smiles a cheeky smile as she tries to stand up, wobbling as I grab her arm.
“you cried.” My voice is hoarse when I tell her that. It’s true. She cried, and it was the second hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed, first being her pretty pussy. “it was hot.”
She shyly smiles at me, bending down to kiss me softly. She waddles to the bathroom- naked- as she stops at the entryway to look back at me over her shoulder.
“come shower with me.”
Should I?
Don’t mind if I do.
“okay.” The soft look in my eyes disappears to make way to mischief. She cathces onto that too quick. “round two?”
She snorts at that. “I’m afraid I’d pass out.”
“I mean…”
She gasps, as if in betrayal.
“you’re not seriously considering it, are you?!”
I step closer to her, my hand on her neck before I claim her lips. “and what if I am?”
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