#I endured a year of being reminded that I was delusional

[something-of-a-hermit]

Why is O Superman (Laurie Anderson) so incredibly comforting but also I’m sobbing my eyes out at 12am over the line “and when force is gone, there’s always Mom (hi, mom!)”?

[queenimmadolla]

Idk if you’ve answered this or not but what are Penny, Wayne and Maples interest/special interest? Like was Penny into the 90’s/2000’s boy bands? Was Wayne into trains or dinosaurs or something real niche like garbage trucks and was I’m assuming Maple was born in the late 90’s was she into Hannah Montana or even metal music that you and Eddie cater to until they just decided one day it wasn’t cool anymore and moved on 😅

I want to thank you. Because you just reminded (I had to consult my timeline for this verse to answer it) that Penny was born in the late 80s, so she got to endure the late 90s and y2k as a teen. She would have been the same age as Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff when they feuded omg!!!! And with a famous dad?? She can interact with y2k royalty!

ANYWAYS, to answer your question, YES! She was a big fan girl of the Backstreet Boys as a preteen! Was begging her parents to go to concerts all the time, learned the choreography, she was obsessed and, as delusional as 10-13 year olds get over boy bands, she was proud of it. And DREAM. She’d love that girl band so much. As a teen, she loves most of the bands of the 2000s like Fall Out Boy, Green Day (they reached the height of their fame that really elevated them in the 2000s—thats not up for debate), Sum41, Evanescene, Linkin Park, Good Charlotte, Pussycat Dolls and she’s a fan of singers like Beyoncé, Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, etc. She doesn’t really like the pick-mes of the 2000s. Sorry, Avril.

Wayne didn’t have any real niche interests dinosaurs or trucks. By the time he could develop niche interests, Goosebumps was a thing, so i imagine him going the mystery/horror route. And because of watching and reading Goosebumps, he develops an interest in weirdly specific things just as the main characters of the show do. To make it short—whatever he watches he makes his whole personality for a good couple of months.

And you’re right about Maple being born in the late 90s! She was 100% a delusional fan girl too, LOVED The Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana (but she loved Miley Cyrus more), fucking radio Disney, Jesse McCartney—oh my god, she was born around the same time as me so she’s going to go through so many horrible fashion and fan phases. The shrug, the skinny scarf, the weird layering of dresses over jeans. One Direction. God, Eddie has to endure a lot with her but if his babies are into something, then he encourages their enthusiasm, helps them indulge in it by buying them CDs and merch, goes to concerts with them—he’s a good fucking dad. Even if the two of you get whiplash with how often they switch up their interests. And lucky for you and Eddie, she’s a Beyoncé stan, so she exposes him to fantastic music just as he introduces her to the music he grew up liking in the 80s.

[gayf1hoe]

Part 11

“Y/N I have something to tell you” he says, his left eye clearly twitching a little. 

“Sure what is it?” I question. 

“Well it's just over the past two weeks I have really enjoyed getting to know you and I think I have developed strong feelings for you” 

I'm taken aback by his declaration, it's not that I don't feel the same way, it's the fact I don't know how I feel. I'm just starting to free myself from the stress and constraints of dating Max. I don't think I'm ready to even think about dating another driver. Plus Ollie would go mad if I started dating his friend, it would ruin his and Kimi's friendship as Ollie feels a sense of duty to protect me from everyone I have ever dated. 

“Kimi I have feelings for you too but I'm only getting over Max and I don't want to rush into anything prematurely” 

“It's fine, I understand it will take time,” he says. 

I'm kind of shocked as to how well he has taken the rejection, well it's not really a rejection it's more of a “keep that thought for later on”. I pull out my phone and put on a Netflix show and we sit by the lake engrossed on the screen. With the sounds of the occasional bird and grasshopper chirping echoing around the lake. As it's not that far from the motorhomes I can still hear some of the drivers and then I hear an obnoxiously loud females laugh and I'm not one to be egotistical but I know every driver's girlfriend's laugh but this is one I don't recognise until I look up and see Kelly and Max engaged in a water fight around 15 feet from me and Kimi abruptly disrupting the tranquillity. 

“Let's go back” I suggest. 

“No,” Kimi says, grabbing my arm as I stand about to get up. 

“He's trying to make you jealous and antagonise you. He has all that space behind his own motorhome but decides to do that infront of you it's just a ploy to upset you, don't let him get to you” 

I sigh, easing up and sitting back down before turning up the volume on my phone in an attempt to drown out the obnoxiously loud laughter from behind us that is ringing in my ears. It's at times like these I wish Ollie was here and not Kimi because by now he would have gone up to Max and insulted him a few times and we would have left, not having to endure the pain of hearing them two kissing passionately. When we broke up and Ollie found out he sent a text to Max saying:

“Stay away from my friend you Sid the sloth looking dick”

Needless to say Max didn't reply and Ollie didn't need to do that but for some reason he feels it's his duty to protect me despite me being older than him. He's like a parent away from home. Constantly checking up on me and trying to shield me from the real world despite me being a fully grown and independent adult, although many would disagree with the second point. 

After a while the sun has really set and the breeze is starting to pick up so I suggest heading back. On our way back the ground beneath us still soaking from Max and Kelly throwing water at each other, providing yet another reminder of their presence outside my head as well as inside it. 

As we approach my door I see a letter on the floor and pick it up before Kimi notices, my delusional brain thinking it would be a love letter or something from Max, him apologising and saying he made a mistake but then I remember there are 2 things on earth Max Emilian Verstappen has never done and that'd apologise and admit he was the one in the wrong. 

As I pull the paper out of the envelope I see the VCARB logo and see that it's just my copy of the contract for next year. I kind of forgot I told Laurent to drop it by today. 

“What's that?” Kimi questions. 

“It's my VCARB contract for next year” I say, shoving the paper back in the envelope, it only has the typical Red Bull family performance clauses like “you must finish the year no more than 5 places less than your teammate” and how many points I should be scoring over the course of the weekend. 

“Do you want to go out tomorrow? He proposes. 

“Sure, where do you want to go?” I ask.

“Well I actually saw a flyer today for skydiving” 

“Absolutely not,” I shout. 

“Come on, it will be fun,” he pleads. 

“There is nothing fun or appealing about jumping from a plane by yourself”

“You aren't by yourself you will be strapped to an instructor” 

“Male instructors?” I have a question. 

“If you want” 

“Say less I'm in” 

The next day I am stood in a plane thousands of feet up in the air and now I'm really starting to regret saying yes to this. It's not that I'm afraid of heights. I think it's very reasonable to be scared of jumping out of a plane and having your life depend on a sheet of fabric to stop you from plumbing to earth and dying. The instructor said that nothing ever goes wrong but the videos I watched on YouTube last night and this morning say otherwise. 

Kimi of course goes first because this was his idea so if anyone should get hurt it should be him. After this goes well it's my turn. It takes me 5 minutes just to crawl to the open door and when I look down I can just feel my stomach sink. We swing our legs over the side of the aircraft and move to sit on the edge of the floor, the instructor counts us down and as he says “1” I tense up my muscles and close my eyes. It seems like an eternity of weightless drifting through the sky before the ground comes into clear view and I've never been so happy to see a patch of dead grass. 

When we land I take a moment to just lay on the ground and become more appreciative of it. Kimi however asks me if I want to go again. 

“I would rather sign a contract with Alpine than jump out of a plane again” 

We take off all the gear and walk back to the car, well I attempt to walk as my legs feel like jelly and I can't walk in a straight line.

“So what do you want to do now?” Kimi says, fastening his seatbelt.

“I want to sit down for at least a few hours” 

“It wasn't that bad, you're overreacting” 

“Did we not do the same thing because last time I checked we jumped out of a plane thousands of feet up in the air.” 

Ollie texts both of us asking if we can go out and do something together so we agree to meet up and go to a karting track although my legs still don't feel very strong so I don't have high hopes. 

Ollie Is waiting for us when we get there and he looks pissed because we are late but the traffic is not our fault. 

“I don't want to know why you two are so late” Ollie says in a suggestive tone indicative of something other than the real reason. 

“Calm your tits Ollie there was traffic, if this wasn't last minute we would have been here on time”

“It's fine we have got the track for an hour anyway” 

We choose our karts and get changed into our race suits and helmets and head to the start line. We chose our  starting position by doing rock paper scissors and obviously I won with Kimi being P2 and Ollie P3. Ollie of course wasn't very happy but I said it will be a very realistic race for him not starting on pole. 

Immediately as we get underway I am spun by Ollie who does a dive bomb into the first turn so when I catch up to him I return the favour and push him wide but our fighting allows Kimi to capitalise and take the lead but I let him have a false sense of security until the last lap. As I pass him I maintain eye contact with him and watch his face change when he realises he hasn't won. 

“That's not fair, I want to go again. He distracted me by looking into my eyes with his amazing eyes,” Kimi complains. 

“Mate, that's my best friend, don't talk about him like that, it's disgusting”.

Ollie's comment definitely takes Kimi aback a little but he soon realises that Ollie was just joking and didn't actually mean it so he eases up. 

“You know if you two are dating you can tell me I'm not going to kill him” 

“Ollie I can reassure you we are not dating yet”

“Yet?” Kimi and Ollie say in unison.

“Well you can never tell the future and Kimi is rather good looking”

“Stop right there Y/N you are going to make me be sick” Ollie says fake gagging a little whilst Kimi’s face flushes fully red. 

After dropping Ollie off me and Kimi head to a park that's nearby to watch the sunset. It's quiet and beautiful. I watch Kimi's face increasing in engrossment. 

“Kimi” I say breaking the silence causing him to turn his face towards me. 

“I've been thinking and I would like to give us a go” 

“Are you serious?” He exclaims. 

“More than ever”

He immediately lunges onto me wrapping his arms around my torso slightly restricting my breathing before placing a delicate kiss on my lips.

“I promise I won't be a dickhead like Max”

“I know you won't because Ollie would make your life hell” 

We decide to take a photo of us in front of the sunset and post it on Instagram and immediately the comments start flooding in. 

“They are definitely dating”

“Kimi Is way better than Max”

“So did Max not matter at all to him for him to move on so quickly” 

“Some of you seem to forget Max is literally dating Kelly so I have no idea why you are coming for Y/N” 

Then Ollie phones us shouting down the other end “Kimi if you hurt my friend I will put you in a box in fact worse I will sabotage your car on a race day”. 

With the Spanish Grand Prix rapidly approaching I can't help but feel glad that the triple header is coming to a close it certainly has been a long few weeks of endless meetings, mistakes and interviews and I can't wait to have a weeks break and then come back and do it all again, but me and Ollie are going to Italy during the off week and i'm sure I can convince him to let Kimi tag along as well.

The entire paddock is pretty much packed up with just the motorhomes being left behind but even some of them have been moved along with most of the drivers. Sauber is leaving tomorrow, but the great thing about having a motorhome is that I don't have to pack up any of my stuff. I can just leave it where it is, and hope none of it falls out of the cupboards during transportation. 

When Kimi and I approach the door we can see Max stumbling around obviously drunk, which has become a reoccuring theme for him lately. Anyone would have thought he was miserable in his new relationship with Kelly, but that's not my problem. He sees me holding hands with Kimi and immediately approaches us. As he gets closer the stench of alcohol and sweat increases and when he speaks the pungent smell of alcohol radiates from his breath.

“Well what’s going on here” he says practically shouting for all the remaining drivers to hear. 

“Go to bed Max you are drunk”

“See Kimi he still cares about me” 

“No, I don’t, its just annoying having a dick stand outside your door and harass you” 

“You know what your problem is Y/N?” 

“I really don't, do enlighten me Max”

“You still love me because if this is anyone else you would have told them to fuck off by now but you havent”

I turn around and enter the motorhome leaving Max to endure the stench of alcohol by himself. When we enter the motorhome Kimi just gives me a slight smile and I walk off into the bathroom dowsing my face with cold water to bring me out of this nightmare that is my life.

At some point in the night I hear a lightly tapping against the thin metal sheets of the motorhome and assume its a branch from one of the overhanging trees swaying the wind, but it gets louder and turns into a loud knocking sound and somehow kimi is still fast asleep so I can't help but wonder how this man would act if someone was breaking in. I get out of the bed and go outside which goes against everyone's natural instinct because who goes outside when it's dark, windy and there is a strange sound. It's like the start of every horror movie to exist.  When I do eventually pluck up enough courage to go to the place where I heard the sound I soon realise its max throwing little rocks against the side.

“What the actual fuck are you doing?” I exclaim, trying not to raise my voice above a whisper. 

“Throwing stones”

“Yeah no shit Sherlock I can see that but why?”

“To get your attention”

I look around into the 3 AM darkness and look down at myself only wearing a baggy t-shirt and underwear and say “well it worked, What do you want?”

“This” he declares.

Before I can even question what “this” is he makes our lips collide and he wraps his arms around my waist and begins to pull me closer into him. The stench of alcohol from earlier has reduced, indicative of him sobering up a little. I feel the urge to pull away but my body isnt letting me. He begins to bite my lip a little causing me to groan and he seems to find ecstasy in my pain. He then moves down to the neck , biting at it whilst his hands simultaneously play with my underwear's elasticated band and that's what causes me to push him off. 

“Max I can't do this im sorry”

I then run off back into the motorhome and get back into the bed like nothing ever happened and pray that that's the last time I fall victim to Max Verstappen's charms and upfront nature. 

The Spanish Grand Prix has always been one of my favourites but that might have something to do with the fact that Fernando Alonso is my racing idol and the fact I dedicated my childhood to supporting him and attending every race I could to see him, so it's a great honour to race against my hero at his home race but it doesn't mean I'm going to go any easier on him. 

During the press conference it's me, Alex and Max and I'm in the middle of the two. Me and Max haven't said a word since the whole whatever you want to call it outside the motorhome. I'm praying he was still drunk at that point and can't remember anything from it but I keep on seeing him smiling at me from the corner of my eye. The interviewer keeps on directing questions at us that require me and Max to speak together like: “How Is Sauber bringing the fight to Red Bull?” It's almost like the media want to see us speak after breaking up. 

“That interviewer really wanted you and Max to speak” Alex comments as we walk across the paddock. 

After the press conference interview I go and sit with Kimi as he's a little pissed at how much the interviewer was trying to get me and Max to talk he was also pissed at how Max was looking at me and I can't understand why because I was getting annoyed in the interview with Max constantly staring at me. 

Ollie pulls me aside and for some reason he looks angry as well. He pulls me into some side room and makes me sit down before he starts speaking. 

“You need to get Max in line”

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean tell him there's no chance of you two getting back together because if he continues like this it's only going to hurt Kimi and you may be my best friend but Kimi is also my friend” 

“I can't tell Max what to do” 

“Tell him you don't love him and to leave you alone” 

“I can't” 

“Why not?”

“Because I still love him” 

Ollie looks stunned and confused at how I could even still live Max but even though he hurt my feelings I couldn't just stop loving him overnight after all I loved this man since day one so it's a bit hard to just turn off my feeling for him 

There is about 5 minutes of just pure silence before Ollie speaks up again. 

“You need to decide between Kimi or Max and fast”

Race day. The past 2 days have been hell Ollie has been on my case every 5 minutes asking me about my decision between Max and Kimi and I'm not going to lie he's starting to annoy me which is something he's never really done before. My head was full of thoughts yesterday during qualifying and my performance reflected that only being good enough for P5 on the grid today. 

We get off the line well and I make up a place straight away as Charles had a poor start that allows me to capitalise. 

On the very last lap I'm fighting for first against Lewis when Max comes up behind us and he dives into the turn hitting me and nearly taking himself out. 

“What a fucking idiot” 

Thanks to Max winning the Spanish Grand Prix is off the table but if he thinks I'm letting him get second he must be deluded. I return the favour and make a brave dive on the last turn to take back second and whilst it's not the race win I still beat him which is more than enough for me. 

In the cooldown room when he walks in I don't even acknowledge his existence. In the interview less than 5 minutes ago I called him “reckless” and “childish” so I doubt I'm the last person he wants to talk to. 

“good race out there” he says, extending his hand for a fist bump but I leave him hanging. 

“It was until you tried to take me out” I say quietly so the cameras can't pick my comment up. 

[sapphistaedine]

i cannot stop thinking about this so, naturally, in the year of our lord 2023, i’m gonna share it for all the world to see:

“the great war” by blondie taylor swift was made for siuanraine. 

“all that bloodshed, crimson clover"

all they’re trying to do is to survive now (but maybe life is about more than just surviving). to do their duties. to do what’s right. moiraine’s duty is to guide and teach the dragon reborn and siuan called her out bc she failed at doing that. moiraine said that she’d “let a thousand innocent people die if there’s even a chance that he will live.” loads of people actually died in what they thought was the “last battle” in s1, and more people will die in the actual last battle.

“sweet dream was over”

ever since they found out that the dragon was reborn, their lives completely changed. they were talking about their future minutes before they found out about it, and when they did, it was as if that future they talked about was completely wiped from existence. whiplash indeed.

"my hand was the one you reached for / all throughout the great war"

siuanraine have been together for god knows how long, and despite everything they've gone through, all the shit they endured, they’re still together!!! (we do not talk about s2e8 ending here shush) (i am a firm believer that they will find a way to reconcile in s3). in those years they’ve been together, they’ve surely had fights/wars in their relationship. but also–they have an upcoming war they need to be a part of. and i know they’ll find a way to come back to each other, to reach each other’s hands, and fight off the enemies that come their way.

“always remember / tears on the letter / i vowed not to cry anymore / if we survived the great war”

that scene where moiraine was creating a letter for siuan, letting her know she’s been stilled. the poor woman hasn’t slept for how long, got into a fight with her sister, all the while she’s processing her being stilled, finding the right words to say to siuan. she cried on that scene, but not to the point where she let herself breakdown completely. i am amazed at how she composed herself so fast bc if that were me… i’d put a pillow on my face and scream until i passed out. but yeah. once they survive the “great war” which, in this case, is the “last battle”, i’m delusional enough to believe that there’s no more tears to be shed–they will live peacefully, catching fish together, living their best lives away from all the drama.  

don’t even get me started on the last chorus bc it’s oh so perfect

“to that bloodshed, crimson clover / the worst was over”

the last chorus is all about them surviving the last battle. the aftermath. the celebration. they can honor the lives that were lost. here they’re making a toast–the worst is finally over. 

“i vowed i would always be yours / ‘cause we survived the great war”

like??? this reminds me a lot of the oath rod scene. they basically exchanged marriage vows there let’s be real here. but also: they survived the last battle. now they can actually live their best lives.

in conclusion, you have to listen to this song. 

thanks for coming to my ted talk

[richmond-rex]

where did the idea that Margaret and Henry killed the Princes come from? it's just so random and feels like a ridiculous TikTok conspiracy than anything else

I personally find it more laughable than genuinely damaging because 1) neither were slandered by any of these accusations of this during history, so it's less about unveiling destructive historical bias and more about dealing with embarrassing modern conspiracy theorists who are more irritating than genuinely harmful, and 2) The Tudors went on to become a long dynasty who are still one of the most well known in English history, so from a broader perspective, any made-up criticism for Henry or Margaret is overwhelmingly outweighed by interest and admiration towards the dynasty. That's why I find the idea that they were somehow responsible so ridiculous and so colossally STUPID. I guess it's expected from Ricardians as these are the same people who have unironically said that Elizabeth woodville was somehow responsible for her own sons disappearance and death, which is one of the most delusional things I've ever heard

The first person to say Margaret Beaufort and Henry VII had more to gain from the princes' death was George Buck, James I and IV's master of the revels in his 1619 biography of Richard III dedicated to the Howard family (who had been supporters of this king) and in honour of an ancestor that, according to himself, had died at Bosworth Field. Buck hated Shakespeare's play so much that he actually banned it. The history of the rehabilitation of Richard III is a long one and started as early as Elizabeth I's death. This 'incredibly brainwashing' propaganda that endured for centuries to the modern day as they claim is a fallacy. As David Horspool pointed out:

The later development of a counter-myth, if not as dazzling as Shakespeare’s monster, has been almost as influential. The pattern was set for a debate over Richard’s merits very early. As the National Portrait Gallery painting reminds us, this was not a case of an unchallenged version of history holding sway for hundreds of years before finally being swept away in more enlightened times. Richard has had historical defenders from the early seventeenth century to the present day.

Simply crying 'Tudor propaganda!' as though it's the only thing keeping Richard III from being universally lauded and free of accusation is an incredible bad-faith argument when there have been four centuries of revisionism advocating for this king. Like, if historians don't hold Margaret and her son as likely as the very man that usurped those boys and had them in his power in the first place it must be for a reason? Work harder.

[sachingja]

"Just hold onto me. There we go." jack for frank!

' this is humiliating ' is what is currently running through frank's head, largely uninvited, of course, but there nevertheless. years of therapy could not unravel the trepidation and anxiety brought along by the unfamiliar smell of disinfectant and the sterile nothingness of a hospital room, four bare-white walls, the most uncomfortable mattress frank has ever had to endure, and an overgrown, ancient anxiety that has kept him out of doctor's offices for years and years, until carl all but dragged an unwilling sixteen year old to get checked. forbidding him to even think of making a scene, reminding frank that nothing good would come of it anyway, and perhaps that did more than any therapist he saw as a child, constantly fretting his parents with his poor lungs, poor immune system, generally poor health.

it has instilled an inexplicable discipline in him, one that has made it possible for him to get off the streets and walk into broadway theaters, turning pipe dreams into reality.

yet, that discipline is not enough — in between a rigorous show schedule, the cold season ushering in an endless amount of call-outs and track-changes, frank must have fallen victim to whatever is in the air right now causing this mess. what started as an uncomfortable cough has grown into full-fledged pneumonia. he feels more like a child than he has ever before, like that kid that would cry and cry and cry to the detriment of some poor nurse, who spent more time in emergency rooms ( usually on his own ) than anyone should, and who, now, for the first time in ages, feels a horrible sense of deja-vu taking over him. it's been so long, he thinks, i did so well — but before that particular train of thought can run any further, there are warm, gentle, familiar, usually-so-burdened hands on his waist, gently steering him from the bathroom towards his bed.

he is not on his own this time, is the thing, and the novelty of that is oddly reassuring. jack is there, and frank wonders, delusional, if he asked too much too soon of him after all ' through good or bad, sickness and health ' well, here they are, the sickness part of it catching up with them, as always. frank is so used to being mindful of jack and whatever his daily condition might entail that it almost feels foreign to be the one someone would ( could or should ) worry over. he is careful as he lowers himself into bed, the blanket too-thin and too-stiff, but exhaustion is already crawling through his heavy, aching bones, making it difficult to walk without any assistance, his hand tight around jack's. but jack doesn't let go, not once, not when frank is finally in bed, as comfortable as he can be, his breathing labored and accompanied by a slight whistle that makes him wince whenever he hears it. he's already called out of the show a few days ago, but last night he woke up in a cold sweat, barely able to breathe, waking jack up in his own spiral of terror — and apologizing on the way to the hospital for inconveniencing his husband as much as he had.

maybe, one day, he will feel less like the burden his parents have branded him to be.

" sorry, " he says, again, fruitlessly. jack's hand is warm and dry and frank is mindful to not squeeze too much — not that there is much strength to begin with. " i know you were looking forward to that workshop. " he breathes against the mighty urge to cough, knowing fully well how much it would suck. " i didn't think it would get this bad. "

⋆ . · * ·✵ · ✹ · ✹ *  gentle care / accepting.

[jimintomystery]

Keith "RoaringKitty" Gill returned to YouTube on June 7, three years after he spearheaded the 2021 GameStop short squeeze, inspired a major motion picture, and rode off into the sunset. The video above, from Atrioc, summarizes all the reasons this didn't go well.

June 7 was a rough day for "Apes," the subset of memestock investors who care less about turning a profit than in winning a war against some imaginary conspiracy of evil hedge funds. For three years they've been rationalizing why they're not getting rich, and convincing themselves that the great RoaringKitty would agree with all their absurd theories if he was still around. When he announced his comeback livestream, the hype was that a) he would confirm their beliefs and b) the stock price would go to the moon. Neither of these things happened.

One of the wackier Ape concepts is that you can own a share in GameStop and refuse to sell, but the evil "hedgies" can still illegally borrow that share to use in a nefarious short attack. So many Apes have exalted the practice of moving your shares from trading platforms, like Robinhood and E-Trade, to the Direct Registration System (DRS) as a defense against this non-existent threat. In April about 75 million GameStop shares--roughly 25% of all the company's floating shares--were registered with DRS, and almost all of those probably belong to Apes. Apes who swear by DRS have always assumed RoaringKitty would be on board with this strategy, as would GameStop CEO Ryan Cohen, whom they believe is sympathetic to their cause.

However, the entire strategy of locking the float in DRS, to keep shares out of the hands of short investors, falls apart if GameStop dilutes the stock by issuing new shares. Apes just assumed that Cohen wouldn't do that to them. But when RoaringKitty returned to Twitter in May, the stock price jumped, so GameStop issued 45 million shares to get some of that money. And on June 7, GameStop went out of its way to take advantage of the RoaringKitty livestream hype to issue another 75 million shares. It's basically a license to print money for the company, but it's bad for the stock price, which is bad for the Apes.

To a normal observer, it's pretty clear that Keith Gill created a situation where Ryan Cohen threw the Apes under a bus. So the Apes were sorting through a lot of cognitive dissonance on the morning of June 7. But they remained optimistic that RoaringKitty's livestream would salvage the day. All the facts on the ground that created fear, uncertainty, and doubt wouldn't matter. With the right words, RoaringKitty could instantly prove all that stuff was fake news to test their faith, and now that faith would be rewarded. After three years of enduring failed prophecy, cooking up fringe theories that fell flat, and digging for clues in all the wrong places, Apes had high expectations that Gill would issue a statement that finally hand them an unambiguous victory. They did not get it.

Gill opened his stream with this weird gag where he pretended to be injured and comatose for about two minutes. If you could figure out what the gag was--that he was being brought back to life or something--it was not funny. If you couldn't figure that out, he just seemed like a delusional idiot. When he finally dropped the act he just started rambling as if it was any other livestream, and he had nothing in particular to talk about. Gill's weird laugh reminded me of Tom Cruise's most unhinged moments. He reacted to the stock dropping as though he was supposed to care but really didn't.

During the stream, Gill shared a screen revealing his investment position. (I mean, he could have altered the numbers on the screen--he even demonstrated that he knows how to do that sort of thing--but to my knowledge he had no motive to do this.) His shares are all in E-Trade, not DRS, and he's made a substantial investment in short-term call options. Either of these facts would be considered heretical to most Apes, according to the canon they've built up since RoaringKitty was assumed into heaven logged off in 2021.

I've been following the fallout of June 7, as Apes try to cope with everything that happened. I've seen quite a few of them struggle to keep the faith, while saying things like "All Ryan Cohen had to do was not do this..." or "All RoaringKitty had to do was just say this..." They don't understand why these guys would take actions that don't make Apes rich. The simplest explanation, of course, is that each of them is in it for himself. (Also, perhaps neither of them is as clever as Apes would have you believe.) But considering that possibility would force Apes to admit that they've wasted a lot of money, and we can't have that! So it's quite a conundrum--it's hard work maintaining a cult when your idols actively work against you.

The most coherent new spin I've seen goes like this: "Shut up and stop complaining, Ryan Cohen and RoaringKitty have a business to run, they don't owe you an explanation." This is popular among the Apes who claim to be uninterested in sick gains, and simply want to invest in a company they love and believe in. They don't care if the stock price goes up. They don't care if they get a return on their investments. They just want to give money into GameStop, and expect nothing in return but GameStop's continued survival. At this stage, you can barely even call what they're doing "investment"--it's more like charity, or perhaps a religious offering.

[jacksnaces]

Inconvenient Qualities Pt. 1

I do not dance. I was told I look stupid and everyone is going to laugh. I hate my smile. My mom spent so long trying to teach me how to smile exactly right. She showed me what a good smile was like. I never did figure it out. I do not draw or paint anymore. I thought I was getting good, but I mean she was always my biggest critic. I hate my laugh. I hate how loud I talk. I wish I could join in on the stupid little games. I cannot react. You could have just got me tickets to Noah Kahan but I’d be too worried of looking stupid. I do not know how to use my words. I cannot express emotions. I cannot say I love you even when I mean it. She made that such a big deal. Went as far as to get onto me. But dad always encouraged it. But never did he stand up for it. Now I struggle telling family that I love them. I cannot sing. Sometimes if the music is loud enough I will join in. But I over think it. I wanted to write music but that is also on the list of things I’m unable to do. And it is funny. I am a hopeless romantic yet doing something as simple as buying flowers or writing a letter is so incredibly difficult to do. I cannot buy the things I need. So instead I buy things I want. I do not understand that one. Owning more than one pair of shoes makes me anxious, I must be clean. Used to I had to be fully put together even just to go to the store. Luckily this one I have mostly broken. I have learned not to give a fuck. I cannot take pictures of myself. I judge every photo taken so harshly. And that sucks because I love pictures. Sometimes hearing footsteps through the house or the sound of the knob being touch causes me to panic. Sending texts absolutely scares me. I was taught to worry how others perceived me. I was taught defending myself was considered talking back. Finally, my brain took it upon itself to quit trying to calmly explain and go straight into fight mode. I think there is a second side of me living in my brain. But also, I am scared I have made that up just to keep from accepting fault. Which is funny cause like I still accept what I did, and I am still striving to fix it. I have been taught I am not allowed to go to sleep until I have solved the problem. I have been taught my needs come second and they do not get met unless I am needed. I struggle with food. I was told I will get fat and be ugly if I was not careful but also, I was not allowed to leave the table until every bite was gone. My sensory issues was me just being dramatic. My meltdowns was just so all the attention would be on me. I was and still am too young to have depression or anxiety and I never did go to war so there is no way to have PTSD. I am just living in a delusional world out of spite of my mom. She makes sure to remind me I’m not actually trans, but I’m doing this out of spite. Funny. You may wanna be careful, as I only have emotions to try to gaslight those around me. And watch out for the fact that I cannot accept responsibility. That one still cracks me up. I spent so many years trying to be perfect, but it will never be enough. I will never be worth loving. Not unconditionally at least. I do nothing but destroy everything around me just for fun. Not because the fact I was autistic was hidden from me and the mental abuse I endured. I can’t do arts and crafts as that was childish and dumb. Plus, her father always had a say. Could not join any school plays cause as dramatic as I was, I wasn’t good enough to be in theater. I was a slob. Despite me keeping the house and yard perfect. I just did not have time for my laundry after helping put hers away. I do not love my siblings because I could not stand being touched. I am going to taint them and ruin them just because I exist. I will never become anything in life. I will die sad and lonely, living on my parents’ couch. Inconvinent qualities that the trauma formed. So may lies pushed into my brain. Little by little I am taking it back.

[themurderofcrowscollective]

This is just... Rolann wanting to get some shit off his chest, mostly about life issues and the hell that he has to deal with regarding his insecurities and the psychological abuse he's been facing. Yes, I'm Rolann Ever since I found out I was part of the system we all are living in, I stopped frequently fronting because life was too much for me at the time. I wasn't willing to leave the lost forest for a while, and some of the others thought that I went into dormancy. I didn't, I just wanted to believe in the false security of our shared headspace, forgetting all that I knew about this cruel reality we live in. Maybe it's just me, but for 4 years, my biological dad has done nothing but sat on his ass while working a job, spewing hate and obscenities about politics and religion. As far as you guys know, he's a Qanon cultist and a false prophet, indoctrinating my bio mom and brainwashing my younger sister. I still have the stones to believe nothing that he says is true, because a long time ago, he taught me to never forget the difference between reality and delusion. He's delusional, aside from being a New Ager and a hateful man who is a hypocrite. And on top of all that, he's abusive too. Physically? Not anymore, and he never left any marks that could've been proof of the abuse I endured before my realization, but the memories are still there of him smacking me and leaving a bruise on my ass that had me have issues of sitting for a week when I was younger. No matter what I did though, he just kept proving his point that no matter where I go and what I do, he'll always be there to control every aspect of my life. Years of mental abuse have me chained to this house, to him, and I don't know what to do. On top of all this, I suffer from executive dysfunction disorder and many insecurities that have me hide away in my room, wanting freedom but never acting on it because of the constant reminder that I'll never be free even if I see the signs that say I need to get out of here. I've been needing to get out of here for 3 years now, but I have no car or any means of leaving, and yet I still get dreams and visions of me walking away with nothing but a bag of clothes and my laptop. Where would I go? Anywhere but here. Yes, there is the dangers of the world that I need to be aware of and I do remind myself constantly of the pros and cons of being homeless for a while, but I also compare my current situation with another situation that plays out in my head. The others in headspace urge me to do the right thing, and I hear them, but it's always the same insecurity telling me that I'll never be free, that he'll always be there when all I want is for him to be out of my life and for me to finally start living. This is why I stopped being the host of our system, because I didn't want to keep going on like this and all I have is my safe haven in my mind. I'm stuck and trapped here, but I want to tell myself that I can leave and make a life for myself and the others in headspace. One day, I will be free.

[manslaught]

every time they mention travis, she feels like tai seems almost surprised that she has him in her life, which bothers her, not in his defense, but because she's not sure what tai expected— did she think it was only nat who would visit her? or worse, did she just think nobody at all came to visit her, and somehow, she felt okay with that, okay with thinking mikayla was completely alone? “ i'm glad, too. he's been... good. ” that feels like an understatement, because she'd be so much worse off without his help, but she doesn't know how to talk about any of it— and even if she knew how, it would likely only be seen as mikayla shoving it in tai's face, how he, someone mikayla never even expected to visit her, was there for her more than she ever was.

she's torn between wanting to talk about her time in solitary and wanting to change the subject entirely; it was by far the worst of what she experienced in there, so on one hand, she wants to tell tai about it, to find comfort in her the way she used to be able to, but she's not sure if she can anymore— and she's not sure if she could even handle it, recounting what it was like, putting it into words. “ would it have really made a difference if you knew? ” she doubts it, that that would have been enough to push tai to finally do something. it would have been harder for her then, too, because she noticed how all her letters became more irregular, taking longer and longer to get to her, like they didn't care at all. they probably didn't.

after a moment of silence, she decides to give tai more, to let her know something about what it was like for her in there, why she needed her back then. “ after the five year anniversary of the crash and— and that stupid fucking book— everyone just got worse. they were bad before, but after that— they wouldn't fucking leave me alone. ” provoking her, calling her names, quoting the stupid book to her— which reminds her, she wants to ask tai if she read it, what she thought about it, but she's trying not to get derailed. “ so they separated me. told me it was for my own safety, that it wasn't a punishment— but it was. ” her voice shakes near the end, gaze going glassy for a moment as she thinks back to it, how much horrible it was to be on her own than surrounded by the other inmates. she clears her throat, trying to get a hold of herself, shifting uncomfortable in her seat. “ it doesn't matter anymore. i lived. even if— ” even if there were moments when she didn't want to.

she scowls, looking down at her lap, anywhere but at her. she doesn't want to explain herself, to give an excuse as to why she's allowing tai in her life after everything. it's because she loves her, because she already had to endure five years without her, and that was hell, so she didn't know how to willingly subject herself to that by walking away— but taissa shouldn't get to hear any of that. “ i don't really have a long list of people i can talk to anymore. ” it's just an excuse, one that hardly means anything to her, because she's used to being isolated, ever since childhood.

she know tai's trying, and she wants to be grateful, but it's just irritating; after being in the dark for so long, it's hard for her to be positive about anything, whatever lingering hope she had before draining out of her years ago. she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm herself. “ i don't— i don't want the delusional optimism right now, taissa. just because everything's working out for you don't mean it's going to for me. ” she frowns, sinking further into her seat, feeling guilty for shutting her down, even if she shouldn't. “ i can't even leave this apartment for ten fucking minutes without someone calling me a murderer. ” usually not to her face, because they're afraid, but it's always intentionally loud enough for her to hear— and while it shouldn't matter what complete strangers think of her, it's just proof that she won't ever escape it, that she's going to be followed by something she did at nineteen years old for the rest of her life.

the bitterness in her words cuts taissa,  and she wonders if it’s intentional.  she can’t blame her if it is — and she does feel guilty,  because while she prided herself on doing better than the others,  that never should have included mikayla.   it didn’t,  because she always felt guilty,  always wished for more from her life   (   she believed it was possible even in the wilderness,   wanted to believe that she could help mikayla achieve so much more as she deserved,  but that fell apart so quickly.  )   ❝  i’m sorry.  i didn’t mean it—  like that,  ❞    she mumbles,  frowning as she looks past her now,  and she realizes for the first time how bland this apartment is.   she doesn't really expect that from mikayla,  but then she realizes she doesn’t know what to expect from her,  because their relationship was built in total isolation,  where all they had was what they brought on the plane with them,  so how could she really envision the life mikayla might live on the outside?  still,  this doesn’t feel like it,  because it still feels like there should be more.  

she nods her head slowly as more pieces start to fit,  still intrigued by the idea of her mother,  but she won't keep pressing.   her jaw clenches as she refers back to her days in prison,  yet another reminder of what she missed herself,  but she tries not to dwell,  instead focusing on how glad she was that travis was there.  ❝  i’m glad you had him, then,  ❞   she says quietly,  her brows furrowing as she starts to wonder—  how didn't she know?  she'd only helped nat a couple of times,  but she knew travis was still in her life,   yet she hadn’t imagined that mikayla was so close,  too.  

she isn't expecting the next bomb mikayla drops,  and her eyes widen,  mouth opening but saying nothing for a long moment.   ❝  wh-what?  ❞   she finally murmurs,  because she wants mikayla to tell her she’s lying, or that she’s kidding, even if it’s a sick joke that she obviously wouldn’t make.  she just doesn't know how to process it,  and thinking of her in a place like that is scary.  they barely survived the wilderness,  and now mikayla’s sitting here,  after all of that, too.   ❝   i’m— i didn’t know,  ❞    she murmurs,  her heart racing,  because she knows there’s no perfect thing to say in response to this,  but she is so desperate not to say the wrong thing,  too.  ❝  i wish i did,  ❞    she adds quietly,  because maybe,  she could have given her something to hold onto,  even if it still would’ve been too late.  she wants to believe that would've changed something,  but still,  she knows it couldn’t change what it was really like for mikayla anyway.  ❝  i’m sorry you went through that.  ❞    she's desperate to ask why,  but she knows it has to be up to her to share, if she wants, so she simply stares back at her,  trying to keep her own composure. 

hearing that mikayla wanted her to be okay doesn’t ease her nerves at all,  it just makes her feel guiltier.   of course mikayla just wanted the best for her— and tai wanted the best for mikayla, too.  she told herself for years that not having to worry about tai was the best for mikayla,  but she knows that was just an excuse,  a way to justify her own selfishness.  ❝  you should have been right.  i’m sorry i ruined that for you,  ❞    she says quietly,  frowning back at her.   when she goes on,  tai’s eyes close,  because that’s what she was expecting to begin with.  ❝  — yeah,  ❞  she murmurs,  taking a deep breath.  ❝  —  i know.   i get it.  i’m— surprised you even want to talk to me again,  ❞   she admits.  

tai bites down on her lip,  realizing her mistake,  but she just wanted to get excited for something, hoping that it would help mikayla, too.   ❝  i get that.  and you deserve to.   i can help, however you need me to.  if that’s what you want to do,  ❞   she offers quickly,  hoping that mikayla will actually take her up on it,  because she needs to know she is actually still capable of helping mikayla in the way she always should have been,  and it’s genuine, too.   her face falls,  fingers absentmindedly picking at her pants,   again left questioning how to respond to her.   ❝  hey,  someone will.  i can help with that,  too.  ❞   she might not be in the right kind of law to help mikayla exactly,  but she knows enough to get her in the right place—  and she’s not going to let it go, either.

[blzzrdstryr]

Darling escaping - Mondstadt girls edition

Inspired by a request I got, will do edition for other characters in the future.

Starring: Amber, Eula, Jean, Lisa, Rosaria

Reader is gender neutral

CW: Yandere themes, confinement, drugging

Amber

It’s highly unlikely that Amber will confine you, but if it reaches that point, then she will try to be as understanding as possible. Being kidnapped is hard and stressful, it’s OK if you hit and yell at her, she gets you, you’re scared and anxious, she will let it slide.

The same goes for any failed escape attempts, Amber will maintain that sweet-saccharine-I-am-not-mad-at-you-please-stop-crying-and-screaming persona very well. She will be very mad of course, partially at you, mostly at herself.

She keeps you confined in the cottage in the middle of the forest - Amber, unlike you, has a vast experience of navigating among the wilderness, so she can almost always recapture you with ease, years spent tracking and hunting lending well in her search.

You will have to be quick and clever if you want to escape - you can’t dwell in one place for too long, nor can you leave any mark in hurry - Amber will use them to deduce your path and location.

You will also have to avoid major cities and settlements - Knights of Favonius have a good reputation and Amber is known for her upstanding nature, she can lie to locals that you’re dangerous escaped criminal or confused and troubled victim who wandered to far for their own good, and have you presented on the platter.

Once she drags you back, she will start to think about escape-proofing the cottage. She might also buy a chain, long enough to let you wander in most of the room. Don’t worry she’ll let you out, she just needs to install new sets of locks on every door in your house.

Eula

The day when she finally loses an internal battle and kidnaps you is the day when both you and Eula start to hate her intensely. Just like Amber, she also tries to be understanding, yet it’s hard. She can sometimes snap back or glare at you with that cold look, which will sink your already drowning sympathies even further.

Escape attempts will be met quite poorly, Eula understands that you’re terrified and stressed and don’t want to be anywhere near her, yet it hurts so badly she loses control. She will say a couple of very insidious and bitter things, as she drags you back, her hold on you a tad too forceful not to be painful.

You will most likely be confined in her mansion - Lawrences might be universally despised by all of Mondstadtians, yet they’re also filthy rich and people have a hard time saying no to shiny mora. You will be allowed to wander in a couple of rooms with all the necessities in your reach.

She won’t allow you to have any maids or servants though - her reputation is already low, and letting a third person in on this dangerous secret will definitely be her downfall.

That’s why she wastes no time when she sees rooms she kept you in empty. Eula will bolt out of the house, uncaring how she might look to others as her mind races, searching for your possible routes.

Your best bet is staying inside or close to major settlements. As it was said before, Mondstadtian despise Lawrences, and Eula isn’t an exception to that. She might be a respected Knight of Favonius, but if you act distressed enough others will question her motives and deter her from grabbing you back.

If you somehow happen to be in the wilderness it’s already over for you. Eula spends most of her time outside the city gates, she is very familiar with the terrains and forests, so she navigates them pretty well. No matter how fast or long you run, she will get you back.

Eula will act extra callous and cold after your failed escape, her heart aching at the fact that you were that desperate to be anywhere but with her.

Jean

Jean is far from being an intense yandere, she will confine you only if she believes that you can’t live comfortably by yourself.

One of the perks of being a highly respected acting grandmaster is that no one really questions her decisions. Even Diluc, who left and now despises the knights, acknowledges how responsible and hardworking she is.

She will convince others that you’re mentally unwell, that you need care and patient guidance to even function, and so she will pressure you into becoming her protege.

None of your words about Jean’s true nature will be taken seriously - acting grandmaster is a kind, hardworking and responsible leader, she does everything in the name of others’ well-being. How can you accuse Jean of something like this?

Moreover, your words will be used against you, as she will present them as a proof of your fragile mental state - you must be deeply delusional to think of your caretaker so badly and poorly, blaming her for things she had no hand in.

You will be “gently” reminded to stay with Jean in her own house,a knight always patrolling near the building when she has work to do. Unlike most yanderes, Jean will allow you to freely wander in the house and courtyard, yet nothing more.

If you escape, you should probably head to the next nation, without stopping in any of the Mondstadt settlements - Jean’s reach is far and wide.

She will dispatch the group of knights, ordering them to safely retrieve you back into her arms - “[First] is scared and confused”, she’ll tiredly sigh and ask them to be gentle with you upon your recapture.

She won’t punish you once you’re back, no she will be calm and collected, despite the inner storm - she has to keep the mask up, both for you and others. You will find two knights on the daily patrol though.

Lisa

Lisa can appear very lazy and careless at first glance, but she is far from that. The witch is the best graduate of Sumeru academy in two centuries and an expert at potion making. She’s also very good at her time management and has a spark of ingenuity, which makes your escape highly unlikely.

First of all, you will be pumped full of sedative drugs, if you aren’t compliant and broken enough - Lisa would like to think that you’re all nice and obedient, but she can’t.

She will slip drugs in your food and water, sometimes she will force the syringe needle under your skin, if you realize what she’s doing and start being difficult.

With the substances muddling your mind you will be as helpless and weak as a newborn kitten, unable to make three steps in a straight line.

With you being constantly high Lisa doesn’t have to stress over your escape - she just needs to lock all windows and doors and add a bit of silencing charms so no one can hear your angered screams.

It would be an incredibly simple, yet perfect plan if it wasn’t for drug resistance. Over time your body will start to adapt to the influence of her “potions”, and you will need a higher dose to be rendered helpless and incoherent again.

You will realize this once the terrible mix of withdrawal and clarity of mind hits you. Half-bent and squirming you will slip from your cell and start to run.

It’s highly unlikely you will go far, especially during withdrawal, but your best chance of escaping lies into contacting any human settlement - you will appear very sick and distressed and they’ll have no choice but take you in and let you endure the incoming torture under the safety of the house.

Once your body is clean, you should run, as far as possible, you should also change your clothes - Lisa marked the ones she kept you in with her electro energy, making you easier to detect.

If she gets you back, she’ll start switching between different kinds of sedatives, so you don’t develop resistance. Lisa will also add a couple of locks and a long chain to her purchases.

Rosaria

Rosaria, to her own dismay, doesn’t own any fancy mansion to keep you in, the house that she lives in is small and cramped as she uses the place to just sleep and keep the little of what she owns here.

This house, despite its small size, has a cellar - it’s empty and unused, with cobwebs decorating the corners. It’s perfect for keeping you in, when you’re difficult.

Don’t worry the cellar is the last resort - Rosaria will confide you here, if you act extra defiant and disobedient. On most days, you’re free to wander in that small house, and if you act extra nice, the nun will let you out under her strict supervision.

She will however, install a long chain and cuff it around your leg when she has to leave for a job.

You can run away from her in two instances, when she decides to go for a short walk with you, and when she is away, if you are able to unscrew or loosen the chain enough for your feet to slip.

If you escape during your walk, you better be an excellent runner, because Rosaria is fast. You will have to compete not only in speed, but also endurance and stamina with her, because Rosaria can run for a very long time, especially when she’s chasing you.

If you escape when she’s away your task gets infinitely easier, you’ll just need to make your way to Mondstadt and make your accusations - Rosaria isn’t very popular here, nor does she have a great image, so your words will hold some weight.

Whether she is found guilty or innocent, it will provide enough time for you to leave the city and head for the neighbouring nation.

If Rosaria gets you back, then you can forget about seeing a sunlight for a very long time, she will keep you chained in the cellar for at least two weeks as a punishment.

[deepdarkdelights]

10 Years (Jungkook x Reader) (10 Seconds Part 3)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 14.4k

Warnings: 18+, Yandere, Stalking, Obsession, Manipulation, Murder, scenes of Domestic Abuse, Mentions of Past Trauma, Mentions of Past Domestic Abuse, Mentions of Torture (not depicted), Cult Like Activity, Forced Relationships, Smut, Blood (lots of it), Fear, Contraception 

I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 

Preview:  He was made for sunset, his skin was practically glowing in the golden filter of light. You had never wished more in your life that he hadn’t met you the way he did. The more time you spent with him the more you wondered what it would have been like if he had talked to you that first day of classes. Would he have still gone this far? Those were dangerous thoughts to be thinking, but when he was this gentle with you it was hard to stop the prick of tears at the corners of your eyes. He confused you so much, and you knew what this was. Acting can sometimes feel more real than it truly is.

A/N: SURPRISE! HAPPY HALLOWEEN BABIES! Just for you, here is part three! I spent a whole week dedicating hours to write it so I could have a treat ready for you this Halloween! To date, this is my favorite chapter and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did!

Read Part Here (1) // Read Part Here (2) // Read Part Here (4)

You had pissed him off, that much was obvious. His fingers were still curled into the fabric of your underwear, one flex away from ripping them off. His jaw was tense and his cheeks hallowed in irritation as he fixed you with his intense glare. Jungkook was many things to you, the number one being your source of immeasurable fear. In that moment though, your glare was just as harsh; you were just as angry as he was but for far different reasons. 

You were angry, but you also weren’t stupid. You knew that this could go one of two ways. You could fight back and piss him off further resulting in another punishment or him taking you anyways. Or you could play his game. 

For once, you thanked God that you were such a fucking crybaby because letting all your pent up feelings out was going to be good for what you were going to do next. Your lips trembled as your eyes watered, brimming with tears that threatened to wet your flushed cheeks. You clenched your eyes shut as a choked cry left your lips, your hand coming up to harshly smack his chest. 

“You don’t really love me!” You cried, trying to roll onto your side and away from him while curling your hands into your near naked chest. 

There was a pause of silence between the two of you, his confusion palpable. You pulled your legs free from him and curled up into a ball, loud sobs leaving your chest that sounded more animal than human. As your cries grew louder he finally snapped out of shock, his hands desperately reaching for you as you shrunk away from his touch. 

“Baby, baby!” He called, his voice sounding more hurt each time you rejected him; shrinking into yourself further. “Of course I love you, how couldn’t I?”

“No!” You yelled, sounding more like a petulant child than a scorned lover. “All you want is to use me, you don’t care about me!” You cried dramatically, turning onto your stomach so you could bury your face in your forearms. 

It was like all of the events you had endured were becoming fuel for you, each horrible thing he had done to you spurring tears upon tears to help your performance. You would make him believe you, you had to if it would buy you some time. 

“That’s not true! I love you more than anything, I just wanted to show you how much I love you, baby.” He said, his hands sliding over your waist and under your stomach to turn you over to face him. Your eyes remained clenched shut as he rolled you over, your face wet and hot from the tantrum you had thrown. You almost had him, you could feel him walking straight into your trap. You had him right where you wanted him. 

“You don’t care,” You sobbed, shaking your head. “You only want to have sex with me. You don’t even care about what I want.” You sniffled, bringing your shaking hands up to cover your tear streaked face.

“Fuck, that’s far from the truth. Please tell me what you want, baby. Please, I’ll do anything for you.” He whispered, his much lager hands gently curling around your smaller wrists and prying them from your face so he could catch a glimpse of you. 

Your heart pounded harder at his words, your first thoughts heading towards your freedom. But you quickly stunted that thought, you knew when he said “anything” he meant “anything but that.” You would have to make do with what you had, and your first mission was to keep yourself untouched by him. 

He brought your hand up to his face, pressing light kisses to each finger as soft pleas fell from his lips. He really was at your mercy, intoxicated by your scent, touch, and doe eyes. All it took was a few tears to have him like this for you. But you still knew better, you knew there was a beast lurking beneath the surface of those innocent round eyes and bunny-like smiles. You wouldn’t be fooled by him.

“I-” You began, a hiccup breaking your voice. “I want to save myself for marriage, I always have.” You said, forcing yourself to remain still as he ceased pressing kisses to your knuckles only stopping to raise your hand to cup the smooth flesh of his cheek. His eyes fluttered shut as leaned into your palm, breathing in your scent just by your pulse.

“So, you’re my good girl then? No one else has touched you?” He asked, long lashes still grazing the dips beneath his eyes. 

You nodded in affirmation only to realize he still couldn’t see you. “Yes, no one has.” You agreed.

A sigh of relief had him falling limp against you, removing your hand from his cheek so he could press a kiss to the center of your palm. His demeanor had shifted so quickly even you were surprised. He gently looped his arms beneath your waist and dragged the two of you up into a sitting position, sliding you onto his lap with ease and pressing your chest to his own. It was horrifyingly intimate, the feeling of his bare chest flush against your barely clothed one. He was warm and strong and would have been comforting had the circumstances been different.

That was something you thought often: had the circumstances been different. But they weren’t. Jungkook was as selfish as he was lonely, and because of that he was delusional and overbearing. Sometimes his presence closed in so tightly on your own you felt as if you couldn’t get a single breath in. And because of that, you longed to be miles away from him. He was suffocating you so slowly and ever so painfully. 

His fingers wove themselves into your hair, guiding you to rest your head on his shoulder as he held you close. “I'll wait for you, and only for you.”

Hook, line, and sinker. 

He held you to his chest for a while and nothing was said between the two of you. There was only the steady rise and fall of your chests against one another while his fingers carded through your hair. Your eyes had fluttered shut yet your body was still tense, you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be touched in this way. But you knew you could never fully let your guard down around him, he was far too unpredictable. But all that time spent with him had been in your favor, now you knew what made him tick. And you were going to exploit that.

Jungkook pulled you away from his body, his eyes tracing your face. He gently cupped your face in his hands and pressed a delicate kiss, so light it was barely there, to your lips. You could feel him sigh against your lower lip before he reluctantly pulled away. He had to prove to you now that he wasn’t solely after your body, although that was an added benefit for him. He could wait, just for a little while longer.

He leaned over the side of the bed and scooped up his previously abandoned shirt, guiding your arms through the sleeves and pulling the collar down over your head. He couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of your head popping up and out of the shirt, your figure drowning in his clothes. His eyes strayed, following where the hem of his shirt laid at the tops of your thighs. You were so tempting, it was no wonder you thought he was only after your body.

Before he could get too distracted he leaned over you and yanked the chain of the lamp, effectively drowning the two of you in a deep pool of darkness. You froze for a moment, your heart thudding as you lost sight of him and what he was doing. You couldn’t see him, but you could still definitely feel him. His strong arms had already curled around your waist, yanking you down on top of him. You yelped in fear as you once more collided with his chest. The man was like a fucking brick wall. You could feel the ginger brush of his fingers around your wrist, guiding your hand to rest on his bare chest as he tucked your head into the crook of his neck. You were sure if anyone were to walk in you would look like lovers. How far from the truth they would be.

You were shaking now, the reality of what has almost happened finding you in the seclusion of the dark. But you had to remind yourself, you had outsmarted him this time. You were finally beginning to understand the game: fake it til you make it. If you could play along for long enough then you could find your way out of here. And you were more determined than ever. 

“You cold, baby?” Jungkook asked, breaking the silence first. He must have felt you shaking. 

You nodded in response, trying to play off what you were actually feeling. Fear. Jungkook grasped the edge of the blanket and pulled it up higher, pressing the two of you together beneath the warmth of the covers. You closed your eyes once more, and this time you tried to pretend he was someone else. Anyone else. It was much harder than anticipated, you knew his scent, his touch, and his form. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get rid of him. 

But you would try. 

You could feel sleep coming for you, the crash of emotions you had survived finally taking their toll on you once more. 

You had made it 10 days, how much longer would you have to last? 

“Baby,” Jungkook hummed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I love you.”

Long enough to escape, that was for sure. 

~~~~~~~

The next day, things already seemed to be so different. To say you were surprised was an understatement. The ten days of hell you had endured with Jungkook could have been a dream for all you knew. He still was the same way you remembered him to be, clingy, whiny, and overbearingly affectionate. But for the duration of that day, nothing he did had the same sexual undertone you had dealt with for the past ten days.

You were relieved, it seemed like you were finally getting a hold of your horrible situation. Well, for now at least. Jungkook was going to be far easier to fool than his father. And you couldn’t lie, his father terrified you to no end. He had trained Jungkook’s mother into absolute obedience with his unrelenting and ruthless nature. You were sure that if anyone was going to be able to spot your fakery from a mile away, it was going to be him without a doubt. So you had one choice, you were going to have to sell it good. 

And that meant having to do things you really didn’t want to do. 

Very quickly, you found yourself taking on the role of a traditional housewife. Jungkook had made it clear before that that was something he didn’t expect from you. All he wanted was you, or so he claimed. He said that he liked doing things together, he didn’t want you being forced into the traditional role you never truly wanted. But you knew what his father expected, and if you were going to win this game you were going to have to sacrifice a few of your pieces.

And you also knew that if you could keep this charade up for long enough, you could fool them all. It was only a matter of time, and you were willing to give up a few days, weeks, or months to find your freedom again. And if that meant making meals with Jungkook’s mother, cleaning the house, and folding fucking laundry you would do it all with a smile.

Days were passing faster and melting into weeks, and at this point you couldn’t really tell how long you had been missing. You wondered if your family was looking for you, if your friends missed you, or if everyone assumed you were dead in a ditch at this point, your flesh melting away and returning to the earth from which it came from. Sometimes, you even wondered if that would have been better. To have been discarded and left to disappear if it meant you didn’t have to pretend to be something you weren’t and if it meant that you wouldn’t have to live in fear of being punished for a misstep or cower under the sharp glare of Jungkook’s father. But you were determined, fucking terrified but so determined to make it out of this alive. 

The call of your name pulled you from the lull of your thoughts. You shook your head to clear you from your daze. Your hands were plunged under warm soapy water, a plate held in your motionless hands. 

“There you are, I thought I lost you for a moment.” Jungkook’s mother giggled, her small hands delicately drying the plate in her grasp. 

You gave her a gentle smile in response, lifting the plate from the water and giving it one more rinse before handing it over to her. There was one upside to this endeavor, you had someone you could call a friend. You liked her, it was hard not to with all of the time you spent together. Her warm, motherly nature was comforting in a place like this. And it made you miss your own mom even more.

“Jungkook seems happier lately.” She mused, gazing out of the window above the sink. You followed her line of sight, seeing Jungkook and his father outside on the back deck with the red flare of a cigarette tucked between his father’s lips. 

She wasn’t wrong, ever since you had started playing along he seemed more relaxed, happier even. Even now a smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he listened to whatever his father was saying. But you could tell he wasn’t really listening, his eyes had that far off look to them like he was somewhere else entirely.

“I guess I have you to thank for that,” She said softly, setting down the freshly dried plate to turn and look at you. “I’ve never seen him so happy before. Jungkook was always a quiet child, he kept to himself for the most part. But you bring out parts of him I rarely got to see.” She smiled.

Yeah, the depraved parts are what you brought out. You let out a gentle sigh, welcoming the faux smile you had grown accustomed to to settle on your lips. “I wish we could have met on different terms.”

That wasn’t a total lie. 

“I know, sweetie. The first couple years are always the hardest.” She replied, lightly resting her hands on the tops of your shoulders with a tender smile. “It just takes some time for people like us, outsiders, to get used to their way of life.”

This wasn’t the first time she had told you this and it most definitely wouldn’t be the last. Sometimes you forgot she wasn’t just a mother, she was a person who has been brainwashed so meticulously you had no doubt all of the work that had been done on her had no way of coming unraveled. And you would be damned if you were going to let that happen to you too. You liked her a lot, and she liked you too. But you had no doubt in your mind that if it came down to it, she would never help you escape. Most likely, she would turn you over to her husband and son. You couldn’t trust anyone, not even the person who had once been like you.

“I hope so.” You lied through your smile, gently squeezing her wrist in affirmation. Ever since you had stopped crying, it had become easier to lie. 

The sliding glass door off of the kitchen slid open with a click, the scent of cigarette smoke wafting into the kitchen. Jungkook’s father stood in the doorframe, peering into the kitchen and settling his gaze on you and his wife. He fixed you with a stern look, the look in his eyes practically freezing you to your spot like a deer in headlights. 

The only ones you were fooling were Jungkook and his mother. That much was obvious. 

“Baby!” Jungkook called, his bunny smile and doe eyes catching your attention from behind his father's shoulder where he was standing on the porch. 

He looked so relaxed compared to the first few weeks you had spent with him. Had you already lulled him into the belief that you were finally becoming compliant to his demands? You couldn’t be too sure. He was leaned back against the deck fencing, his elbows propped up behind him on the top of the fence. His one leg was a little stretched out in front of the other one as he looked at you, the golden cast of the setting sun bathing his lithe form. He looked like any other normal guy on vacation at the lake: a pair of ripped jeans tucked into thick boots and an open flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Your eyes lingered over the tattoos that decorated his arm, he really would have been any girl’s dream guy. It was a shame that he had to warp that into a nightmare.

Jungkook’s smile widened eagerly as he motioned for you to join him. Outside. 

Your heart began to flutter in your chest, it felt like the wings of a hummingbird thrumming in anticipation as the latch of its cage was lifted. You tried your best to calm yourself, you remembered what happened the last time you had fled into the woods, it had only taken mere moments for him to find you once again. You had not a doubt in your mind that Jungkook knew these forests better than anyone. You couldn’t run, not just yet. You hadn’t fooled everyone. You were sure that a better opportunity would arise. 

You took a calming breath and quickly dried your hands off before approaching the door. Jungkook’s father remained in the doorframe, his presence casting a shadow over you. He scared you far more than Jungkook did, and for the first time in your life you were willing to run into the arms of your captor if it meant he would keep you out of the way of his father’s wrath. That was the one thing you were sure of when it came down to it - Jungkook would protect you if he was in love with you like he claimed to be.

Your head was bowed low, your eyes fixed to your bare feet and the tile beneath them. You looked like a rabbit - you remained still like it would stop the curious predator from approaching. 

“Don’t try anything if you know what’s good for you.” He whispered lowly, his voice was gravelly and deep in his chest. The smell of smoke wafted under your nose as he stepped to the side, allowing you access to the deck. You flinched from his sudden movement before hurriedly rushing past him and outside. 

The fleeting sun felt so good against your skin, your chest heaved as you took in a deep inhale of the fresh air. It felt like layers of clothes and weights had been removed from your body and the oppressive weight of Jungkook’s father’s stare was confined to the inside of the lake house. This was the freest you had felt in weeks, or what had most likely turned into months. Time was escaping you faster and faster every day.

You jolted in surprise, your eyes fluttering open as Jungkook’s fingers grazed the smooth skin of your hand. You hadn’t heard him approach in your moment of euphoria. He looked down at you with a gentle smile and a gleam to his chocolate brown eyes. He was made for sunset, his skin was practically glowing in the golden filter of light. You had never wished more in your life that he hadn’t met you the way he did. The more time you spent with him the more you wondered what it would have been like if he had talked to you that first day of classes. Would he have still gone this far? Those were dangerous thoughts to be thinking, but when he was this gentle with you it was hard to stop the prick of tears at the corners of your eyes. He confused you so much, and you knew what this was. Acting can sometimes feel more real than it truly is. The last thing you wanted was to fall victim to Stockholm syndrome. And you knew you weren’t, he still made you uncomfortable and he had done awful things to you. Thoughts like those could override any one of his sweet, innocent looks. For now. If you didn’t act faster, time would grasp you in it’s clutches. 

Jungkook raised his hand to cup your face, his thumb gently stroking the flesh of your cheek as his other hand came to rest on your waist. He looked at you like you were the center of the universe, like nothing else mattered to him anymore. His touch was warm but his gaze was uncomfortable. You didn’t want him to look at you like that, like he was in love with you. Not after everything he had done. 

But you also couldn’t deny that there was a part of you that understood him. His father was fucking horrible and he had you, his wife, and his son all under his thumb. Jungkook and his mother were captives just as much as you were. That was the only sympathy you had ever felt for him.

Jungkook’s eyes had slid shut, his large hand encircling your wrist and raising your open palm to his lips to press a light kiss to the center of your hand. That was something he had started doing, but you never dared to ask him about it. You had assumed it was his way of keeping himself together, like he was taking a small hit instead of drowning himself in ecstacy. It was like he was pacing himself with you.

“Walk with me?” He whispered, his eyes slid closed as he breathed in your scent, the two of you encompassed by the light of the setting sun. 

“Okay.” You answered softly, trying to keep your legs cemented to where they were before they took flight and had you fleeing the lake house once again. 

Jungkook smiled at you again, his fingers hastily lacing yours with his own. His tight grip would be enough to keep you grounded for now. 

He led you down the steps until your feet met the soft grass once more. The cuts to your feet had healed and the feeling of the grass between your toes was soothing and comforting. Jungkook’s grip was loosening and  allowing him to gently tug you in the direction of the lake. You had only seen it from the windows of the house and just barely when it was illuminated by the moon that night you had tried to flee for the first time. You pushed down the thoughts of escape as your pace began to match his, your hands hanging between the two of you and swaying gently as you approached the little beach at the edge of the large, blue lake.

Your eyebrows began to knit together in confusion as you caught sight of the full stretch of the beach. There looked to be a little porch that began on the grass and stretched over the sandy beach. It had a wooden terrace stretching overtop decorated with fairy lights and was exposed to the sky above. You could see there was a thin air mattress set on top of the deck area covered in various pillows and blankets with a cooler set aside. It was insanely intimate and bordered on romantic. Had he set this up for the two of you?

You shivered in discomfort, unsure of what to do. Maybe you should suggest walking down by the water, you really didn’t want to go over to that “love nest.”

“Arms out.” Jungkook suddenly said, sliding in front of you. You looked at him in confusion until he set his hands on your arms and raised them up by your sides. He wordlessly slid the flannel off his shoulders and began to help you slip the sleeves onto your bare arms. He thought you were cold again. At least you could use that as an excuse during your ploy.

The shirt was big on you which was no surprise at this point. All of his clothes were baggy on you, most of them were baggy on him too. You looked like a child who had gotten into their parents closet. But the look in Jungkook’s eyes spoke volumes. It was a possessive thing, he liked seeing you in his clothes, he liked it when his scent lingered on you. He liked that he had you where he wanted you. Little did he know, you had him where you wanted him as well. 

Once he was done fixing his shirt around you he smoothed the collar down and sent a smile your way. “Come on.”

Jungkook tried to walk forward, your grip on his hand stopping him short. He pivoted on his heel, the sand kicking up slightly. “Baby? What’s wrong?”

Your teeth sunk into the flesh of your lower lip as your eyes focused on the sight of a little crab crawling quickly across the surface of the sand. “Can we go over there?” You asked, jerking your head in the direction of the lake. 

Jungkook turned, his dark eyes settling on the waves rushing over the shallow drop off of sand. “Hm, not today. It’s pretty cold, I don’t want you to get sick sweetheart.”

“I won't,” You tried once more, your eyes wide and pleading. “Jungkook-”

“We’ll go tomorrow.” He cut you off, his eyes boring into your own. He didn’t have to say anything for you to know that this wasn’t up for debate. If he wanted to do something that badly, he was going to do it. He gave your hand a firm tug and pulled you into him, his arm coming up to wrap around your shoulders and tuck you into his side.

You didn’t look at him as you walked, your eyes fixed to the sight of your toes turning over the sand as you walked. But you could feel his stare burning into the side of your head like it always was. Every time you thought just maybe he couldn’t be that bad, he reminded you quickly of what your situation was like. He has the final say in everything, whether he agreed or disagreed with you. 

The two of you stepped up onto the little wooden terrace, Jungkook taking a seat on the mattress and pulling you down in between his legs allowing your back to lean up against his chest. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and set his chin on the top of your head. The sun was just beginning to sink below the horizon of the lake casting an ethereal glow over the water. 

You were glad you didn’t miss this sight, you supposed. It was probably the most uplifting thing you had seen in a long while. It wouldn’t be long now before the sun disappeared and it would be dark across the lake. Already the lights strung up above you seemed to be growing stronger as the sun faded away. 

You could feel Jungkook’s hand coming up to play with your hair, his touch the most delicate it had ever been. It was so gentle that if you closed your eyes you could pretend it was just the wind ruffling your hair. He spoke your name softly, the hand that had occupied your tresses caressed the length of your arm and settled on the top of your hand. Your brows knitted together in confusion as you felt his other hand flip yours over and settle something in the center of your palm. It was smooth, cold, and metallic to the touch with hard edges. 

You dropped your chin and searched for whatever it was he had just given you. He laughed softly, cupping your palm shut so that you couldn’t see.

“Ask me.” He simply said, his eyes aglow with mischief.

“Let me see.” You said, trying to pry your fingers open beneath his hold. It was no use.

“Try again, maybe a little nicer this time.” He teased.

 You huffed in frustration, already over whatever he was up too. “Jungkook, give me back my hand, please.” You said, adding more emphasis than needed on the “please.”

He chuckled low in his chest and released his grip on your hand. Without thinking you uncurled your fingers and looked at what he had given you. On sight you felt a wave of nausea roll through your stomach, your heart dropping in your chest. 

Sitting delicately on the smooth skin of your palm was an engagement ring. 

You couldn’t move, you were frozen in absolute fear. The only thing you could feel was the violent thudding of your heart in your chest and the beginnings of a cold sweat on your neck. You had either played your part too well, or Jungkook was more than aware of what you had been doing. You couldn’t rule out his father either, he was just as likely as having a hand in this. 

“I’ve waited for ten years to ask you to marry me, and I can’t imagine a better time than now to finally ask you.”

You were spiralling, you could feel the beginnings of a panic attack coming. Your vision was focusing and unfocusing, the sound of your rapid heartbeats pounding in your eardrums. Were you having a heart attack? It felt like you were having a heart attack. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, like your lungs were swelling and cutting off any oxygen that tried to slip into your mouth. 

But there was one thing you could focus on, he said ten years. That math didn’t make sense, when the two of you had first met in highschool and that was only four years ago. 

“Ten years?” You echoed, the panic clear in your voice. How many more secrets was he harboring?

He hummed in response, his slender fingers picking up the diamond embedded ring from your grasp. You hadn’t realized how tightly you had been holding it until he took it from you, the diamond had made little incisions in your palm that were running with specks of blood. 

“I first met you when we were freshmen, but I first saw you when we were little.” He reminisced, a far off look in his eyes as he toyed with the ring. “I just caught a glimpse of you, but that was enough. You were wearing a white sundress and the cutest little butterfly sandals. I remember I asked my mom if you were an angel. She told me no, but I told her that I was going to marry you anyways because you were so pretty. And I kept my promise, didn’t I? 

You could feel yourself fading faster than the sun, you were so confused and panicked your body was on the brink of shutting down. You could feel the burn of bile rising up your throat as he lifted your left hand and gently slid the ring down your ring finger.

“You don’t have to say yes, but you can’t say no.” He whispered against the shell of your ear. “That’s how it works in my family.”

~~~~~~~

You don’t remember much of what happened before you passed out, but you did wake up wrapped in Jungkook’s arms in his bed under the blankets. And that goddamn ring was still on your finger. And if things weren’t already bad enough, then they were bound to get worse. You were getting “married” in only a few days. 

To say that was jarring didn’t even cover half of what you were feeling. Not only was Jungkook trying to keep you bound to him in every way possible, but it was going to happen and fast. You tried to calm yourself by remembering whatever ceremony you were going to go through would not be legally binding. You wouldn’t actually be married in the eyes of the law. The two of you would have to get a marriage license and have it approved with witnesses, and there was no way you wouldn’t get help if you were dragged to a courthouse. Jungkook was persistant but he wasn’t stupid. This would be purely symbolic, and nothing more. But that thought did not drive away your stress or the butterflies in your stomach. 

And of course your short days full of trying on various dresses and hairstyles did not help one bit. Jungkook’s mom was excited, her face aglow with pure happiness as she chose dresses on your behalf and made even more decisions regarding  the ceremony on your behalf. Apparently, that was tradition. The “outsider” was rarely involved in situations like these, the mother in law and the prospective spouse took care of everything. You were too sick to your stomach to do anything, no matter what you said you knew that Jungkook wouldn’t listen to you. He had waited ten years to propose he said, there was nothing that would stop him from finally getting what he wanted. And once the two of you were “married” you were out of excuses to deny his advances. You were so fucked. 

Maybe you should have ran into the woods again when he had taken you out of the house. You should have just thrown caution to the wind and tried again. No, Jungkook would have caught you. You knew that. Maybe it would have been better to lay yourself in the lake and float away into nothingness. But you knew, no matter what you did or where you went Jungkook would follow you to the ends of the earth. He was inescapable, and the thought of that left you with an intense feeling of claustrophobia. Much like the prey you were, he would hunt you down and corner you with no possibilities of escape before going in for the kill. 

It still wasn’t time to run yet, you had convinced yourself of that. Now really would be the worst time to flee with the influx of members of Jungkook’s family arriving for the “wedding” that was to take place. Just the thought of that word had your stomach churning in unease.

His family was much larger than you expected and, to your horror, they all were just like him. Every single one of them knew about your predicament, and in fact amongst them were people like you who had been dragged into this life. Amongst the supposed wedding party were kidnappers and victims who were all coming to celebrate another successful hunt and capture of a prize. 

It only took five days to gather everyone and everything for the ceremony. It had all been rushed in order to get you to this point where you were once again in the room you had first woken in when Jungkook had taken you. Or, as his mother liked to call it, the bridal suite. The room itself hadn’t changed though, the walls were still that off white color, the barred windows still surrounded my lacy, gauze curtains, and the bedspread was still baby pink, white, and frilly. The only difference was the wedding gown hanging from a hook on the bedroom door.

You ran your fingers through your freshly washed hair, knotting the tresses in your hold and tugging in anxiety. Your leg was bouncing rapidly, how had it gotten to this point? How were you supposed to go out there and do this? You couldn’t. Not when you were about to be surrounded by kidnappers and their pets kept closely to their side. 

A knock to the door had you rocking back in surprise, your head jerking up to see who was there. The door remained shut and silence followed suit. You looked on in curiosity until a voice called your name through the door. 

“Are you decent, sweetheart?” It was Mrs. Jeon. 

“Yes.” You replied, your voice cracking. The shower you had just taken wasn’t enough to hide all of the crying you had been doing all morning. But at least you didn’t have to see Jungkook, that was one upside. He refused to come near you until the ceremony, he was a firm believer that it was bad luck to see you beforehand.

You were grateful. 

You heard the click of the lock being undone before you saw the door swing open and Mrs. Jeon pocket the key she held in her hand. She looked happy, far more excited than you had anticipated. She was already done up for the ceremony, a formal dress laid over her figure and her hair twisted into an updo. She was naturally pretty and you could see what resemblance she had to her son. It sent a chill down your spine.

Not much was said between the two of you as she ushered you over to the vanity, gently gripping the tops of your shoulders and guiding you down onto the stool. Her work was done quietly and delicately. And you were so out of it, you didn’t pay much attention. Your eyes were dull and unfocused, staring into the mirror but not processing what you were seeing in the slightest. 

“Sweetheart, what I’m going to tell you will be very important so I need you to listen closely.” She hummed, her hands fluttering around your face as she began to lightly apply makeup. “Have you ever been to a wedding?”

Your eyes fluttered closed as she gently applied eyeshadow to your lids. “Yes.”

“Good, then you already know what to expect. But, there are going to be some changes.” She said, tilting your head back with a feather light touch. “During the ceremony, don’t say anything.”

“What?” You asked, your face tensing in confusion. You felt her hands gently tap your cheeks, a silent way of signaling you needed to relax the muscles of your face. 

“Jungkook will take care of everything, vows and all. You just need to be there as he does so.” She explained. That made sense in some twisted way. If no part of the ceremony involved you talking, then you couldn’t exactly say no. “The objections will be left out as well.”

How ironic. 

“Other than that, things will go exactly how you expect them too. As long as you do your part, everything will be just fine.” She smiled as you opened your eyes once more. 

You felt her hands lightly smoothe your freshly styled hair, a fond look gracing her kind features. You felt a strange connection to her, you supposed it had to do with your shared experiences. She was taking on the role of a twisted mentor, imparting some of her “wisdom” onto you to help you as best she could.

The part you were most scared of came next, the dress. You tried your best not to look at yourself as the chiffon and lace slid smoothly over your bare skin. It was cool to the touch, light and airy unlike most dresses you had seen brides wear. By all rights it was stunning, you only wished you didn’t have to wear it if it meant that you would be walking down the aisle towards a man you never dreamt of being yours.

You wore no veil, and for that you were thankful. You couldn’t stand the thought of Jungkook having to lift it from your face like you had seen done before time and time again. Instead, a halo of white carnations and fabric butterflies graced the crown of your head. They were real, their scent fresh and welcoming. A part of you ached at the thought of them withering away, their stems having been sliced apart. They were beautiful, but would only be that way for a fraction of time.

You seated yourself on the edge of the bed, your bare feet gently grazing the silk of the comforter. Your heart was pounding wildly, this was a different type of fear you had never felt before. It was the anxiety of having to provide a performance for all of Jungkook’s family and the knowledge that you couldn’t run. 

Mrs. Jeon knelt down to the floor, a soft groan falling from her painted lips as she felt the ache in her knees. She reached a slender arm out underneath the bed, retrieving a white box tied closed with a satin ribbon. You looked on in curiosity as she carefully untied the bow and set the ribbon on the mattress.

“I wore these, Jungkook’s grandmother wore them, and the women before her.” She explained as she tugged the lid of the box free.

Upon seeing what laid inside the box, tears immediately began to prick at the corners of your eyes, your heart pounding wildly against your ribcage. Your shaky hand came up to cup your mouth to stifle any cries that attempted to escape. Held between the soft hands of your captor’s mother was a set of leg cuffs, each cuff meant to be sealed around your ankles that were held together by a length of chain that would prevent you from taking the strides you would need to run. They were treating you like a prisoner. 

“I-I can’t put those on,” You choked, “Please, please don’t make me do it.” You sobbed, shuffling away from her as best you could. 

“Oh, sweetie.” She cooed, setting them back down into the box and bringing you into her motherly embrace. “It’s only for a short while, I promise they’ll be off by your first dance. And they’re not as heavy as they look and no one will see them under your dress.”

“I don’t want to.” You sniffled as her fingers gently tapped away the tears in an attempt to stop your makeup from running. 

“I know, neither did I.” She sighed, pressing a kiss to your hair. “Jungkook thought you didn’t need them but my husband thought it would be for the best.”

You froze at what she said. His father wanted this. 

“He’s a man of tradition for sure.” She giggled, rubbing your shoulders in an attempt to relax you. “It’ll be quicker than you think, trust me.”

There was no room for debate, you had learned that quickly with the Jeon family. They always got their way and never took no for an answer. You experienced that first hand. So, all you could do was close your eyes, clench your fists, and tense your jaw as she snapped the cold metal cuffs around each of your ankles. 

“See? Not so bad.” She hummed before taking your hand and helping you to stand. “Everyone is waiting on us, it’s best we don’t keep them waiting any longer.”

She guided you out of the room, the sound of the chain connecting your anklets dragging over the wood of the floor sent a cringe to your face. They were loud. From what you knew, the ceremony was to take place outside right in the fringe of the forest. At least there would be grass and maybe then they wouldn’t be as distracting or cacophonous as they were now. At least that was what you hoped, it was like if you pretended they weren’t there maybe they would actually disappear. 

You didn’t make it far before you felt that familiar, sharp glare digging into you. His father was already here. 

“Now, since your father won’t be able to give you away we’re going to. Isn’t that nice?” Mrs. Jeon smiled, a sharp contrast to the stoic face of her husband. 

The thought of having to wrap your arm around his own nauseated you more than anything. Being with Jungkook was like heaven compared to his father. You feared his hold and gaze to the point that you craved Jungkook’s touch. Anything was better than having to be that close to a man so evil. 

You didn’t respond, fear having paralyzed your throat. It didn’t matter what you said, it was going to happen anyways. That much you knew to be true. 

The three of you linked arms, you in the middle of the parents of your kidnapper. Mrs. Jeon held your left arm gently, rubbing soothing circles into the flesh of your forearm. Mr. Jeon gripped you tightly, his hold unrelenting and harboring a warning. You wouldn’t be surprised if once he released you his fingerprints would be left behind as purple marks to your skin. 

As the three of you began to walk and exit the lake house, your inescapability became far more apparent. You could see the large crowd of people waiting for you, their eyes burning into you. From the large group, everyone was lining the aisle with their arms linked like they were creating a chain of people in preparation for you. With a horrifying realization you came to understand what they were doing. They were forming a wall on either side of you, creating a tunnel to walk through that would prevent you from escaping. 

They had planned everything out perfectly, years of trial and error and countless “weddings” allowing them to perfect their formula. They knew what they were doing and had no intention of letting you go. They were all sick every single one of them. 

And what was most likely the most upsetting sight was the children in the group, even they  

joined in on the human paper chain. They were little blank slates, perfect models that were trained from day one on what their way of life would be. You couldn’t help but see Jungkook reflected in their gaze. In your mind you could picture him as a small boy, large brown doe eyes watching a bound bride floating down the aisle in her white dress. It was no wonder he was so fucked up, and evidently those children would grow up just like he did. 

This was the first time you thought about fixing Jungkook, as you were walking through the tunnel of people, white petals crushing beneath your feet, and the drag of the chain between your legs like a snake slithering through grass. This was the first time you had even considered that to be a possibility. 

Your head lifted as the thought entered your mind, your gaze flicking around until it settled on him at the end of the aisle under an arch of moss and carnations. He was dressed nicely, but not in a tux like many grooms had been. He wore dress pants, held up by a set of suspenders over his shoulders. The top few buttons of his shirt had been left undone and exposed some of the smooth, tan flesh hiding beneath the fabric. He had also rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, his arm of tattoos proudly on display. He looked relaxed despite the excited smile that lit up his face and the gleam of adoration in those dark eyes. Even you couldn’t deny how attractive he looked like that.

A firm squeeze to your arm had your teeth sinking into your lip as the three of you ceased walking, Jungkook mere steps away from you. This was the first time you wanted to run towards him instead of away from him because it meant you would be able to escape his father. 

“Behave.” His father whispered just beside your ear, his voice deep in his chest and laced with warning. 

Without another word, his hand slipped down your wrist and guided your hand into his sons. And just like that, he and his wife turned and took their seat. And you could finally breathe again. For now. 

Jungkook was smiling at you, that familiar bunny like grin gracing his lips. His hands cradled your own, holding them between the two of you. You were sure he thought all of his dreams were coming true. He tense his fingers, giving your hands a firm squeeze of excitement. You had never seen him happier.

You could see an older gentleman beneath the makeshift altar, you assumed he was there to “officiate” the proceedings. You couldn’t help but zone out, the sight before you was distracting. The makeshift wedding his family had created would have been something out of a dream had this all been voluntary on your part. Forest weddings had always appeared to be so beautiful, and now that you were here you couldn’t help but agree. Strands of green moss formed a canopy above the wedding party, delicate vines of white flowers hanging from above and all around you. The aisle you had walked down had been made of moss, grass, ferns, and flat stones littered with white flowers and petals. 

It was absolutely breathtaking, and you knew once the sun went down and the fairy lights flickered to life it would be even more stunning. 

You were suddenly snapped out of your daze as you felt Jungkook's hand cup the side of your face before leaning down to you and pressing his lips tightly to your own. 

You had missed the entire thing. 

You could vaguely hear the cheers of his family behind you as he held you close, kissing you surprisingly hard in front of his entire family. You could feel your stomach tightening in anxiety and your face flushing with heat in embarrassment. You felt him pull back for a moment, hot air brushing over your lips before he reconnected with you again, and again, and again until you grasped the fabric of his shirt and pulled him away. 

He smiled at you in satisfaction as his tongue darted out to wet his lower lip. He was showing off, letting everyone know that you were his and that there was nothing you could do about. 

Your heart was in your stomach, the dread piling up as you felt him tugging you back down the aisle. He giggled as you almost tripped, his strides too long for you to keep up with when your gate was impaired by the length of chain connecting your ankles. Without a word he turned and scooped you up in his arms, ironically carrying you bridal style back towards the lake house where the “reception” was to be held. 

You turned your head to look over his shoulder, your eyes widening as you watched his family rushing after the two of you in what could have very well been a stampede. Your eyes lingered on a few of the people coming after you, it wasn’t hard to see who was an “outsider” like you. They had that same hopeless hollowness to their eyes, their will having dried up a long time ago. You could feel your heartbeat quickening as you caught sight of one woman. She walked quickly, trying to keep up with the man beside her as she adjusted the infant in her arms. She looked tired and depressed beneath her layer of makeup. You could see the strain of her smile smooth away when her eyes connected with yours. You could see the message she was sending you clear as day without saying a word. 

“I’m sorry.” 

~~~~~~~

The reception was the most normal part of the wedding and something you were more familiar with. The only change was instead of the garter removal, your leg cuffs were removed. There was a part of you that was glad you were spared the mortifying experience of watching Jungkook’s head disappear under the chiffon of your skirt and feeling his lips drag across the length of your leg as his teeth pulled the garter free from you. 

Although, the leg cuffs were just as horrible and embarrassing. You were certain if you didn’t calm yourself down you would be throwing up all over the pristine white dress you wore. You could visualize the pure horror that would spread across Mrs. Jeon’s face.

You were sure that that wouldn’t be the first time something like that had happened though. But tonight you had been doing your very best to hide your disdain for everyone there, you still had a part to play regardless of the situation you had been put in. You didn’t have to look happy, you just had to hide your fear to the best of your ability. 

That was easier said than done. 

It was when Jungkook left you alone with his sister that your facade began to crumble away. 

“Jimin, Taehyung!” He yelled, his eyes lighting up as he darted away from the table you were seated at in excitement. You watched him race across the room to the two men he had called for, locking them into a tight embrace. 

Your legs twitched, the thought of fleeing always at the back of your mind. Now would be the worst time of all times, who wouldn’t be able to see the only one dressed all in white sprinting into the woods. The last thing you wanted to do was start a hunting trip.

The soft delicate call of your name reminded you that you were still in company. The empty seat that Jungkook once occupied has been filled by the slender form of his sister. She looked just like him, but softer and feminine. She had a gentle smile fixed to her lips that reminded you exactly of her mother. There was not a single bit of her father in her, genetic wise.

“It’s nice to meet you,” She grinned. “All of these years Jungkook wouldn’t shut up about you and he only lets me meet you once you’re getting married, that little punk.”

You bit your lip before you could spit anything back. You could feel the blood leave your face as she spoke. It always disturbed you when you remembered for just how long Jungkook had been waiting for you, watching you, longing for you. 

“Hell, he was the first person I introduced to my boyfriend.” She said with a roll of her eyes, “I mean of course I couldn’t take him on my own, he was much too heavy for just me alone.”

Your heart stilled as you slowly turned your head to face her. “Too heavy?” You echoed, hoping she didn’t mean what you thought she did. 

“Mhmm, the first time I saw him was at the gym. He was just so much bigger than me I knew I couldn’t take him home on my own. So, I called Jungkook. He made things so much easier, he really is such a good brother to me.” She said with a fond smile, her eyes seeming to glaze as she reminisced. 

All this time, you had assumed it was only the men of the family that partook in the kidnappings. But no, it was anyone who was an “insider.” Anyone who was born into the family. That explained how Jungkook had made no mistakes when he took you, he had practice with someone much bigger than you were. You quickly reached for your glass of wine, chugging back as much of it as you could to calm yourself before you slipped into another attack. 

“He’s right over there,” She sighed, nodding in his direction. “Jackson and I have been together for about six months now, he’s a tough one to train that's for sure.”

You followed her gaze, your eyes settling on the man that stood mere inches away from her father. He was undeniably handsome, but you could still see the fear etched deep into his face as he stood next to Mr. Jeon. You were confused why he was still there, he was strong so he had to be capable of escape. In fact, you were sure he could take down Jungkook’s father quite easily. That was of course until you realized what his handicap was. You were confused for a moment, it looked like he was wearing a choker perhaps. But, upon further inspection you realized what it was. A collar. 

Jungkook’s sister hummed to herself, setting her clutch down on the table next to you before she undid it and pulled out a small remote. “It’s harder for women like us in this family. Subduing guys like Jackson isn’t easy. But one controlled shock works wonders.” She laughed, a sadistic smile curling into her mouth as she stroked the remote. 

So, that was the part of her father she inherited. 

You could see the horror on Jackson’s face as his dark eyes connected with the remote she held between her dainty fingers. Without her even saying a word he was rushing to her side in fear of her even thinking about pressing a single button on that remote.

You were light headed, the sudden realization of just how horrible this family was allowed the glass of wine to slip from your fingers, the dark red liquid spilling over some of the white carnations that rested in front of you decorating them in jagged, red stripes.

“Baby?” Jungkook’s voice called to you, and for the first time that word was comforting to your ears. In comparison to his sister, you had lucked out when it came to the Jeon siblings.

You sent him a strained smile as you lifted the stem of the wine glass and set it back up right. Your gaze lingered on the stained carnations, a sour thought entering your mind as you realized their purity had been stained, and no amount of cleansing would ever get it back. 

“Don’t worry, Jungkook. Your wife and I are going to be best friends.” His sister smiled as her hand curled around Jackson’s.

The two of you looked at one another momentarily, and in his eyes you saw a mutual message. 

“Please, help me.” 

~~~~~~~

You didn’t know how much more you could take, that was for sure. Everyone there was beyond messed up and sent your heart racing just at the sight of them. You were relieved when the crowd began to drain, leaving only a few people loitering around as the night dragged on. 

You had tackled so much in one day, but you knew there was still more to come. 

As the last people headed to their cars, Jungkook’s mother grabbed you by your hand and led you into the house, leaving Jungkook and his father and his two friends outside.

You stumbled after her in confusion, shaken up by the pace she had set. She led you back into what had originally been your room and shut the door tightly behind the two of you. She leaned against it with a gentle smile to her face, but you could see something else in her eyes. She was concerned. 

“I wanted to give you your wedding present here.” She said softly, crossing the room to the dresser pushed up against the wall. 

“I don’t need any presents.” You replied, your teeth gnawing at your lower lip in stress as you thought of what was to come. You knew you couldn’t hold Jungkook back any longer now that you had run out of excuses.

“I think you’ll need this one.” She said, her voice cracking as she slid her hand behind the dresser and pulled something free. She hid the gift behind her back in both hands as she made her way back to you in complete silence. 

Without a word, she raised your hand palm facing the ceiling and set a container in your hand. On sight you immediately recognized what it was. 

It was birth control. 

“What?” You whispered in pure shock, popping it open to make sure it actually was what it appeared to be. 

You raised your head and your eyes connected with hers. She wore no smile like you had seen her with so many times. Her face looked tired and her eyes were clearer than you had ever seen them before. For a moment, she seemed normal. She seemed to be just like you. No words passed between the two of you, all you needed was to see the expression you had witnessed twice earlier that day.

“I’m sorry.”

“Please, help me.”

And now, “I understand.”

The four of you were all the same, people who were suffering and couldn’t escape. She understood better than anyone what you were going through, and she wasn’t as broken as she had originally let on. Some of the original her was still there, a soft ember of a fire that had been snuffed out years ago.

No words passed between the two of you, none needed to be.

~~~~~~~

You heard Jungkook enter before you saw him, your back facing him as you were settled on the edge of the bed. You could feel the bed dip as he climbed on, crawling over to you until his arms could wrap around your waist and his chin could rest on your shoulder. You could smell the wine on his breath as he chuckled.

“Hello, Mrs. Jeon.” He mumbled, pressing his face into the juncture of your neck and shoulder with a hum.

A chill ran down your spine at his words, they were foreign to you, they just didn’t seem right because you knew them to be false. He raised his head, his hand coming up to cradle your jaw and turn your head to face him. His fingers lightly stroked the skin of your cheek as he leaned in uncomfortably close. You could tell he was buzzed, a lazy smile stretching across his face as his eyes traced every curve and detail of your face. He looked positively enamored. 

Without any warning he leaned forward and pressed his lips to your own for a moment before pulling back for a breath and leaning in again, and again, and again. 

“I love you.” He whispered against the shape of your lips, his fingers gingerly stroking your cheek as his chest shook with each inhale. It seemed like he could never get used to the feeling of your lips, so warm, soft and wet. How could he not be intoxicated by you?

His tongue gently stroked your lower lip, a whine breaking free from his throat as you kept your lips together, refusing to let him in. Instead of growing frustrated, he let out a soft sigh and pressed another brief kiss to the corner of your mouth, laying a trail of kisses down your cheek and jaw before settling on your neck.

You clenched your jaw, your fingers twisting into his shirt as he began to leave hot, open mouthed kiss to the sensitive skin of your neck, low groans bubbling in his chest from the mere taste of your skin. You could tell how needy he was from the way he harshly sucked purple bruises into your neck, his tongue swiping over each fresh mark with a sweet moan at the end. 

“Love you so, so, so much.” He whispered, his fingers trailing behind your back to pluck at the tiny pearl buttons holding your dress together. You tensed up, but you didn’t push him away. He didn’t stop his assault on your neck as you felt each button springing free, the front of your dress becoming looser and looser with each motion. 

A soft gasp escaped your lips at one particularly harder suck to your throat causing Jungkook to shudder against you as he heard your light cry. He pressed his forehead against your own for a moment, collecting himself while his hands still tried to unloop the back of your dress.

“I wanted you the moment I saw you walking towards me, you looked so perfect, so beautiful. Just like an angel.” He said, his voice shaking as his lips trembled. “I’ve been waiting all day to have you like this, and it was worth the wait.” 

His fingers trailed up the exposed skin of your back, goosebumps raising in their wake. He gently traced the lace of your straps before pulling them down, shimming the delicate fabric free from your torso. His breath caught in chest at the first sight of your bare breasts, the cut of the dress in the back being too low to allow you to wear a bra. 

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned, the tips of his fingers ever so lightly tracing the tops of your breasts. He was pacing himself for your sake, but it was becoming harder and harder for him to keep a hold of himself, especially with the ever present tightening of his pants at the back of his mind. 

He suddenly pressed his lips back to yours once again, this time more frantically and harder than before. His hands came up to your shoulders, pushing you back down into the mattress beneath you. He was breathing much heavier now, unwilling to part from your lips as he tried to roll the fabric of your dress down your hips without leaving you. 

He groaned in frustration against your mouth, pulling back to roughly pull the dress down your body and toss it over his shoulder into the recesses of the room. He sat on his knees, towering above you and staring down at you with a carnal look in his eyes. He hastily began removing his own shirt, his irritation growing as he struggled with each button in his haste.

With a final grunt, he pulled his shirt free and tossed it to join your discarded dress. You froze as your eyes trailed over his naked torso, your heart thundering as your eyes settled on his chest. A fresh clear wrap was sealed against his chest over his heart. You could feel your body tense up as you took in the new ink that had been etched into his skin. He had tattooed your name on his chest. 

Jungkook looked back at you in confusion, unsure as to what caused the look of pure fear to seep into the once passive and smooth features of your face. He followed your line of sight ending on the new piece he had.

 “Do you like it?” He suddenly smiled. 

“I got it as my gift to you. You’ll always be right here,” He said, interlacing your fingers once more and resting your joined hands on top of his heart. “I’ll always love you, my good girl.”

All you could do was clench your eyes shut, it was your only way of taking yourself out of this situation. You could feel his bare chest press against yours, his long fingers tracing over every curve of your body as he shook in excitement. How long he had waited for this moment. To have you in every way possible. 

“It’s alright, I know what to do.” He whispered as you jolted from the feeling of his hand grazing the hem of your underwear, “Let me take care of you, sweet girl.”

You shuddered as he slid them down your legs, another article of clothing that was meant to join the floor. You were tensed up tight, your legs clenched shut in anxiety as you felt his gaze burn into every feature of your naked body. 

“So perfect,” He hummed, “So beautiful.” He cooed, resting his head on your chest as he rubbed slow circles in your thigh, each stroke sending him closer and closer to the juncture of your thighs. 

“Jungkook!” You cried as you felt him force your legs open in one strong pull. 

“Relax, sweetheart. I don’t want to hurt you.” He replied before quickly reaching down and stroking the length of your untouched cored. You shrieked at the unfamiliar feeling, clamping your legs closed around his intruding hand. 

“Come on, baby.” He said, coaxing your legs open. “I need to get you ready.”

All you could do was lean your head back into the pillows, squeezing your eyes shut and clenching your jaw as he continued, his fingers ever so lightly coming up to rub firm circles into your clit. You choked a moan back, thighs trembling as you tried your best not to snap them shut once more. 

“So good for me,” He cooed, sucking hickies into the hollow of your collar bone as he pressed his fingers down harder, your hips jerking instinctively up towards the pressure. “So pretty, my wife. Mine.”

He was unrelenting, his tight grip on you sure to reappear as bruises tomorrow morning. He didn’t allow you to hide your desperate whines or shocked gasps from him as he continued to pleasure you, the feeling sending tingles straight from your core all throughout your body. As much as you didn’t want to be with Junhkook, you could admit you were happy he at least knew what a clit was and made this a lot less horrible for you. 

You winced at the feeling of his finger gently prodding at your entrance, a thin layer of wetness coating his finger as he pushed in. You jerked and tensed your muscles at the foreign feeling, trying to pull back and away. 

“Relax. I need to stretch you out.” He said firmly before leaning down and wrapping his lips around one of your sensitive nipples, your tight walls relaxing at the new feeling. And, without warning, he slipped his finger in and began to stroke deep inside you, parts that your own fingers would not be capable of reaching. 

“Fuck!” You cried, tossing your head back as he quickly found that part that made you feel incredibly hot.

“That’s my good girl, fuck.” He groaned into your blushing skin as he thrusted his finger in, grazing that spot that made a new wave of wetness come gushing out. 

“Jungkook!” You groaned, your hand coming between the two of you to lay limply at his chest as you twitched in pleasure. 

He groaned in response, sucking the hardened peak of your chest harder as he continued pumping his fingers, slowly pressing in a second. You whine at the stretch, shaking as you felt his hips begin rutting against your leg, his mouth popping free from you as a needy whimper leaves his throat. 

“I need you so bad, baby.” He whined into your skin, choked groans shaking his chest as he quickened the pace of his hips against your leg and the pace of his fingers strumming against your walls. 

He easily, and embarrassingly, slid his fingers free from your heat, a string of your desire following his retreating digits. Without saying anything he quickly brought his fingers to his mouth and began to suck them clean with enthusiasm, his body shaking like he was in ecstasy just from the mere taste.  

“So fucking sweet.” He moaned, his hands frantically grasping the hem of his pants, shuffling them and his underwear down in one motion. 

You could feel the heat rising to your face at the sight of him, your eyes falling shut once more as your thighs fell closed. He was fucking huge and you didn’t think you could take him. That didn’t really matter now though, did it?

His hands slid down your hips, rubbing small circles in the hallows before he gripped each leg and forced them open and around his slender waist. You kept your eyes clenched shut as you felt him reach in between the two of you, the head of his length brushing against your slick entrance. You were tensing again, anxious for what was to come. You were sure it was going to hurt. You felt his hips push forward and the head of dick just barely slip in as you bared down in fear. 

A soft groan escaped him, his head dropping to your throat. “Baby, you gotta relax for me.”

You whined in response, your body still wound up tight. You could feel him sigh into your throat before his hand lightly caressed your leg and made its way back to your core, his fingers returning to rubbing those firm circles into your throbbing clit. Almost immediately, your walls began to flutter around nothing at the sensual touch, your lips parting as you trembled in pleasure.  And, before you knew it, he forced himself all the way in in one motion. A sharp cry left your mouth as you flung your arms around his neck, tears pricking in your eyes at the sudden flash of pain that invaded your senses. 

Jungkook was shaking above you, his eyes screwed shut in pure ecstasy as he forced his hips to remain still. 

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip so hard you could taste your own blood on your tongue. You groaned in discomfort, your cheeks feeling wet as a few tears escaped. You felt incredibly full, so full that it hurt. 

Jungkook’s eyes fluttered open, and upon seeing the tears streaked down your face he quickly tried to calm you. “It’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay.” He whispered, pressing kisses to each streak of tears. 

“Doing so well for me,” He cooed, his fingers quickly circling around your clit once more to work you through your discomfort with pleasure. “Such a good girl.”

As soon as he felt you begin to relax around him, your hips jerking up into his touch, he began to pull his hips back and slowly slide back in at a frustratingly slow pace. His jaw clenched as he kept himself under control, restraining himself from abandoning all restraint and just railing you like he wanted to.

But, once he felt your hips rolling up into his with that sweet whine of your voice he couldn’t help himself. Before you knew it, his hands were laced with your own and pinned down to the mattress, his pace quickening as higher, breathy moans left his chest, his lips leaving hot, wet, kisses to your neck before he rose his head and connected your lips again. 

You moaned into his mouth, surprising yourself at the sounds you were making. His tongue rolled over your lips and without restraint you parted your lips for him. A deep groan left his mouth as he curled his tongue against your own and pumped his length deep into you with a smooth pace. The only sounds filling the room were choked moans and the slap of skin against skin. 

You were already getting closer, the prepping he had done earlier bringing you to this point, the knot in your stomach tightening with each brush of the head of his dick against that spot deep inside you. Your legs tightened around his waist, your fingers gripping his own tightly as he filled you so good. Your walls were clamping down tightly around him, the feeling just far better than you had expected it to be. 

You could do this, you could use this to your advantage. 

One particularly hard thrust had you crying out against the wet, puffy flesh of his lips. You were sure tomorrow both of you would look like a wreck. Jungkook freed his hand from yours, returning to the soft bundle of nerves that begged for his touch. You cried out at the feeling of his length thrusting in and out of your wet core and his dexterous fingers rubbing firmly into you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He rambled, snapping into you harder and harder as he felt your warm walls begin to tremble around him. You were going to cum, he could tell. 

“Come on, sweetheart. Show me how good I was, cum all over my cock for me like the good girl I know you are.” He panted into the shell of ear, pressing down harder and fucking into your pliant body faster than before, drawing sharp cries of pleasure from you that you couldn’t keep in any longer.

“Cum for me, please cum for me.” He was practically begging you, you could feel his length twitch inside of you. He was on the edge just like you were, but he wanted you to let go before he did. 

And you did. With a loud cry your back arched, pressing your chest up into his own as you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist. Pleasure shot straight from your core and all throughout every nerve of your body, your walls fluttering helplessly around him. You could feel his thrusts become less paced and more frantic, his eyes clenched shut as he chased his release. And the feeling of you tightening so painfully around him was enough to do him in. With a loud moan he sunk his teeth into your shoulder, his hips working himself into you as he came in spurts, your body flinching at the unfamiliar feeling as you tried to catch your breath. 

He whined as he continued to come, filling you up with each pump of his cock. His hips were shuddering with each thrust until he finally fell limp against you. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He mumbled, pressing lazy, wet kisses to your already marked up skin. He still hadn’t removed himself from you and you twitched still from the aftershocks of your orgasm. You feel his cum and his cock still inside you, like he was trying to stop any of it from dripping out. 

“I love you, baby.”

~~~~~~~

When you woke up the next day you were incredibly sore and wrapped up in Jungkook’s embrace. You were sweating, you noticed. Even in his sleep his grip was unrelenting, strong, and inescapable. 

You had hoped after the wedding his parent’s would have finally left, but that was far from the truth. They were still there, and each week you waited for them to come and tell you and Jungkook that they were ready to go home. You wanted them to leave, but another part of you was still deeply worried for his mother. Her behavior had returned to what you knew, she smiled often, she gushed over her husband, and she coddled her son. There was no sight of the woman you had seen the night of your wedding. 

The only reminder you had of your encounter, was the birth control stashed safely behind the dresser in the room that was never used. You snuck in there every day at the same time to take them in secret.

When your period came a few short weeks after your wedding, Jungkook was visibly upset. He didn’t say anything but you knew what he was thinking. He was hoping the various times you had sex between the wedding and your period would have you fall pregnant. He pouted about it, but simply remarked that the two of you would have to try more. He took care of you, bringing you chocolate snacks, heating pads, and plenty of cuddling. Although you never asked for that last part.

You thought you were going to be safe, that this was the one thing you could get away with this time. It only took a few weeks for everything to fall apart.

You were in the shower when the shouting started. You paused for a moment, tilting your head in the direction of the bathroom door. It was a male who was shouting, but over the sound of the water you couldn’t tell who it was. It was the loud shattering that spurred you into action. In seconds you turned the water off and frantically dried your body, throwing on a hoodie and some sweatpants. 

You swung the door open and walked and quietly as you could down the hallway. The yelling was coming from the kitchen. You pressed yourself against the wall and peered into the room.

It was Jungkook’s father screaming at his mother. It looked like she had been making dinner, various pots settled on the stove as well as a kettle. There were ceramic shards littering the floor, you could only assume a plate had been thrown. 

“Don’t you fucking lie to me, you are the only person in this house who could have done this!” He screamed, slamming down a container onto the counter causing his wife to flinch back in fear. 

It was your birth control. 

“You really thought I wouldn’t figure it out? It was a little strange that she was going in there every day at the same time wasn’t it?” He asked, his voice deathly calm. His wife didn’t respond, her gaze pinned to the floor. 

“Fucking answer me!” He screamed, whipping another plate at the wall right beside her head and shattering it into pieces. 

“It was strange.” She echoed, her eyes glazing over. 

“Don’t play games with me, I know damn well she didn’t get them, Jungkook didn’t, and neither did I. If you want your punishment to be easier than tell me the goddamn truth right now.” He snapped.

She was already gone, her mind somewhere else as he screamed at her. You couldn’t stop the torrent of tears from rushing down your face as you witnessed her shutting herself off. Years of toture had made her good at dissociating.

The first hit is what broke you. Without thinking you ran right in between the two of them, wrapping your arms around her as the two of you fell to the ground, cries of pain bursting from your mouth at each hit you endured. He was ruthless, his anger quickly being directed at you. Each punch and kick to your body bringing new blossoms of pain. You stayed firm, your body wrapping around hers to stop the torrent of attacks from reaching her. You could do it for her. 

You felt fingers weave into your hair, pulling you sharply to the ground and causing you to cry out. You struggled as he began to drag you away from Jungkook’s mother by your wet tresses, he was heading to the deck. You had no doubt in your mind he was going to take you outside, torture you, murder you, and dipose of you. 

“Jungkook!” You screamed, thrashing around desperately. “Jungkook! Help!”

You never called out to him for help, never. And that was why he came so quickly. The minute he entered the kitchen his demeanor completely flipped. His eyes settled on his mother, her body laid limp to the floor as she gazed off into nothing. And then he found you, your body being dragged and his father's hand knotted in your hair with marks littering your face. He suddenly reminded you of the Jungkook that took you the first night. His eyes were pitch black and the anger was bubbling just under the surface. 

Your head fell as his father released your hair and you quickly began to scoot back and away from him. You settled yourself in the corner, lifted Jungkook’s mother into your embrace and held her tight. 

As soon as the two of you were safe, he snapped. He grabbed his father by the neck and threw him to the ground, the two of them devolving into a writhing mass of punches and kicks. You could see instantly that Jungkook was going to win, there were no doubts in your mind about that. He had his father pinned quickly and was beating the ever loving shit out of him.

“How fucking dare you!” He was yelling, his face red as he repeatedly laid into him, each hit becoming more brutal than the one before. “How dare you hit my wife! My mother! Fuck you!” He screamed, letting out every ounce of rage he had been holding in. 

You could hear the kettle begin to whistle in the background, the pitch slowly rising as your pulse thrummed strongly. You couldn’t take your eyes away from the sight before you, you didn’t know if Jungkook was going to be able to calm down. He was enraged. 

His father was laying still underneath him, his face bloodied and the only sign of him being alive the rise and fall of his chest. Jungkook finally stopped, sniffing as he rolled off of his father, his knuckles split and covered in blood. But he had stopped far too soon. His father suddenly lurched, dragging him to the ground and wrapping his hands tightly around his son’s throat. 

You watched in shock, Jungkook’s body squirming as he tried to escape, his eyes darting around to try and find you. And, for some reason you don’t exactly know, you reached onto the counter, wrapped your fingers around a knife and slid it across the floor into his waiting hand.  

You snapped your eyes shut as you began to hear the loud grunts of pain from his father each time the knife struck his body. You held Jungkook’s mother close, your hands covering her eyes so there would be no chance of her seeing. The kettle was whistling painfully loud, your heart beating violently as you listened to what was happening. 

And soon, silence fell over the room. You opened your eyes and watched as Jungkook pushed the lifeless corpse of his father to the floor. He rolled over and looked at you, his face, neck, and hands coated in thick, wet, blood. He was shaking as he came down from his adrenaline high. He dropped the knife from his grip, tears suddenly pouring from his doe eyes as he crawled across the floor to you and his mother. 

Loud, pained sobs wracked his chest as he threw himself at you, crying into your neck as he held you tightly.The scent of blood was thick in the air, the sticky, crimson fluid staining your skin as he gripped you tightly to him. He was inconsolable, sobbing like a child as he refused to let you move. 

There was a corpse in the room, copious amounts of blood, Jungkook, you, and his mother. 

You raised your hand and gently began to stroke his hair, curling your arms around his shaking, blood soaked body. You lightly pressed a kiss to the top of his head in an attempt to soothe him, rocking him back and forth. 

“It’s okay, Jungkook. It’s okay.”

[chilligyu]

info: wen junhui/reader, teen+, soulmate au genre: angst, romance | word ct: 2k warnings: descriptions of injuries, scars, blood, hospitals summary: forever was a powerful word, and it was the only word he could think of when he imagined his soulmate. someone who was just as powerful as she was terrifying. because forever was a powerful word, and it scared him to no end. author's note: please read! this soulmate au deals with soulmarks in the form of injuries. once someone turns 18 their body will be marked with their soulmates scars and they will acquire all of their future injuries (i know it's a little confusing, story explains it better). if talks of scars and blood make you uncomfortable, respectfully, this fic will not be your cup of tea. thank you all!

Forever. Never, in all of Junhui’s life, had he heard a more terrifying word. He hated the permanency of it, the idea of being stuck doing one thing, being with one person. The thought of it alone made his skin itch. He loved being able to get on a train and go absolutely anywhere, loved never being tied down, loved being free. Sometimes he didn’t even know where home was, where he’d be sleeping, and that’s when he was most happy. He couldn’t explain it, nor did he want to.

What scared him most, was what he was destined for, what forever truly meant for him. For years he was told how his life would change, how it would never be the same once he became an adult. And he believed them. No matter how much he hated it, he’d have to be delusional not to. Because he’d been watching it play out on his skin since he turned 18. He’d been watching his body pucker with scars, little nicks here and there, for the better part of four years. A thin line across the back of his hand, a surgical scar on his stomach, it was so nerve-wracking. Because he hadn’t been injured.

His soulmate had, and he was a first-hand witness.

That was the sad existence he was left with, the one he’d been running from for years. He lived in a world where everyone was covered in the injuries and scars of their soulmate. Your body wasn’t a canvas of your own life, it was the story of someone else’s. And God Junhui hated that more than anything. That his life wasn’t his own anymore and there was nothing he could do about it.

It all became real for him when he came home from school on his 18th birthday. He shouldered off his bag and was getting ready to shower when he saw the bright pink mark on his stomach. A little thing, only two inches in length, half an inch wide, almost completely negligible. At first, he was confused, then scared, and finally—mortified.

No. He said to himself as he inspected the scar. Please tell me this is a lie.

For years he stared at his own body, repulsed and confused by the injuries that kept cropping up. His friends would laugh at the little marks, claiming that his soulmate was a complete klutz. Still, he refused to acknowledge it. He didn’t care what sort of scar showed up on his body, he refused to care. He refused to think about the one person who was tied to his entire existence. No matter what they were going through. He didn’t care when the eight inch gash appeared on his arm, nor did he care when he saw the surgical scar sprawled across his knee. It was just skin, scar tissue and skin. It didn’t mean anything.

Or that’s what he tried to convince himself.

Sometimes, if the injury was bad enough, he would even feel the pain from it. One day he was walking to work, and suddenly he was struck by an intense migraine. The throbbing alone was enough to make him want to puke. The world was spinning, he could barely feel the ground underneath his feet when he caught his reflection in a store window. His eyebrow had split open, a single trickle of blood streaking his face.

What happened? He found himself wondering despite himself. Are they—are they okay?

Before that moment, he had never actually bled from one of his soulmate’s wounds. And it terrified him. He had only seen the injuries once they’d healed, meaning that the danger, and pain, was over. That little bead of blood meant—meant that this was real. That on the other side of his scars was a real person. He hated forever, he hated the word, hated the meaning, hated what he was forced to endure because fate had better plans for him.

But still, he couldn’t help but wonder. And that was harmless, right?

Going to the doctor after that was interesting, because he had to get a full body X-Ray to see what sort of damage his new body had endured. Standard protocol when you turned 18, he’d just been putting it off for as long as he could. Injuries from his soulmate's childhood were clear against the backlight, several broken bones from when they were young, or reckless, or both. Without realizing it, Junhui found himself smiling at the sight. It was sort of comforting, knowing that he’ll always have this part of someone else. That it’ll never leave him.

He gingerly touched each wound and tried to imagine the story behind them. There was this one right up his shin, very old, very faded, it reminded him of the one time he fell off his bike as a kid. Maybe he had something in common with his soulmate. Maybe they had a similar past. He had no idea, but it was fun to wonder.

For periods of time, Junhui wouldn’t accumulate any new marks, and he felt lonely. He pretended like he didn’t, he continued on as he usually did. A string of flings and drunken escapades kept him busy, but they just—they weren’t as fun anymore. Car rides with no destination, late nights underneath the stars, the things he loved most no longer held the same weight. He felt stupid, selfish, wishing for some sign of his soulmate. Because that meant that they’d have to get hurt for it to happen.

And then, he thought he lost them.

He was getting set up for a gig, plugging in his mic and laughing with the stagehands, when he felt his life flash before his eyes. Like he’d been crushed by a car. The pain was so excruciating, he was finding it hard to breathe. Collapsing to the floor, he could’ve sworn that he saw a bright light above him. Tears streaked his face, his stomach churned like the red sea—he thought he was dying. He had no idea what was going on, until—until he realized that he was fine. That his soulmate—that his soulmate might’ve—

Pulling up his shirt, he watched a deep gash form on his stomach and a deep bruise color his whole abdomen. Propping himself up onto his elbows, he instantly fell back to the ground. Looking at his arm, he noticed the swelling. He was being covered in bruises, several of his bones were broken, and he only had one thought on his mind.

I have to find them.

He managed to get to his feet, finding his right leg weaker than he remembered, and he practically sprinted out of the bar. Pulling out his phone, he started searching every news site he could think of, looking for any news of any sort of car crash. Of any sort of accident.

Every few minutes or so, he’d check to make sure that his scars were still there. That his soulmate hadn’t left him. Because that’s what everyone truly fears, and the one thing Junhui has grown to fear more than forever. When you slowly see your soulmate's scars clear up, when your skin is your own once more, it means one of two things.

Either you’ve found your soulmate, or your soulmate is dead.

Please stay alive. He found himself begging, finally catching word of a couple car accidents in the past day. He scrolled through them, scrolled through the pictures of victims, desperately trying to find them. Dozens of faces blurred past his vision, and he finally stopped at a picture of a young woman. A woman with a small scar on her chin, just like the cut Junhui got when he was a kid and banged his chin on a coffee table.

After years of denying her existence, he had finally found his soulmate. For a brief moment, he was caught in some sort of trance, completely awestruck by the person who was a permanent part of his life. She was beautiful, perfect, everything he had ever dreamed of and feared all at once. It broke his heart, knowing that it took her getting hit by a car for him to find her.

When he figured out which hospital she was taken to, he hailed a cab and paid him extra to get him there as fast as he could. As he rode, he read the article more thoroughly, reading about how she was hit by a drunk driver, how she was in critical condition, and how she was in a medically induced coma. He had to fight back tears, knowing that she might not make it.

Arriving at the hospital, he showed the front desk her picture, desperate to find her any way that he could. They confirmed that she was there, that she had just got out of surgery. They kept telling him that only family could see her, that he’d have to wait until she was out of the ICU, and a million other things that he didn’t give a damn about. He had to see her.

“She’s my soulmate.” He whispered, trying not to lose it. “Please, please, let me see her.”

Even though the nurses were conflicted, they eventually let him in. Thanking them quickly, he sprinted down the hall to her room, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t lose her. Not before she was even a part of his life. Not before he could even tell her how important she was to him. He hadn’t even met her yet, and yet if she died – then his life would be over.

He slowed down as he got closer, his heart beating in his ears. She was just a few doors down, she was so close, he could feel it deep down inside. As he stood outside her door, he tried to calm himself down, he inhaled and exhaled, attempting to stabilize the raging storm inside of him.

Mentally preparing for the worst he reached for the door handle, his entire arm shaking. He was fully aware that she wouldn’t even realize he was there, that she’d be lying catatonic in a hospital bed with tubes and wires hooked up to her. He didn’t care. It was still an important moment in his life. He was about to meet his soulmate for the first time.

Turning the handle, he felt his heart stop when he saw her. Even though the actual sight of her broke his heart, something he couldn’t explain started to stir inside of him. Like—like his entire existence led him to this point. And while that thought alone would’ve terrified him not too long ago, it now gave him a purpose to strive towards. He wouldn’t run from this.

He approached her carefully, pulling up a chair and sitting beside her. As he sat there, he watched as the little scars across his knuckles started to disappear, and saw them reappear on her. Unconsciously, he started to check on every single scar on his body, finding himself frowning as they vanished from his skin. He would’ve preferred to bare them, knowing that they wouldn’t mar her beautiful body. And he’d miss the proof that she was meant to be with him. Fate determined that they were meant to be together, and for the first time—he accepted that. Because he finally learned that alone was a far more terrifying word than forever.

“I don’t care how long it takes.” He whispered, taking her hand in his. “I’m not going anywhere.”

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere Fairy Tail Hc’s

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, delusions, clinginess, overprotective behavior, manipulation, stalking, blackmailing, threatening, sabotage, kidnapping, killing

Hibiki Lates

✨Hibiki is a semi-delusional Yandere. I admit it, he obviously is quite perceptive and intelligent so he isn't a fully delusional Yandere. Still though he can't help, but think of his darling as something more. He's a womanizer and rumors say that he's had many different girlfriends at the same time. But with the sudden entrance of his darling something seemed to change. He suddenly turned extremely obsessive, wanted to know everything about them and he could never stop thinking about them ever since. So even if he knows that some things he does aren't technically right, he views this whole situation as some sort of destiny and that his darling is his only one. He's quite infatuated with his darling for that reason.

✨Manipulative and overprotective. Hibiki obviously has his charm upon his sleeve and there is a reason he's been voted for several years in a row as a boyfriend every girl would like to have. Problem is that if his darling is looking for a serious relationship, they might ditch him since he is a womanizer and they wouldn't want to be with someone who hangs out with numerous women at the same time. Hibiki has to prove something in here and he is aware of that. But he's a determined and persistent man and he will make sure that he'll court his darling successfully and he isn't above making himself look better than other possible competitors. And a man has to protect his lover after all so of course he is more protective, though he overdoes it in order to look more like a gentleman.

✨Hibiki might just experience for the very first time in his life how real jealousy feels like when you have someone you want to love and cherish for the rest of your life. As someone who is constantly being talked over and the knowledge that he is everyone's dream man give him a certain confidence and since he is a polite man, he never really lashes out on someone. But he learns quickly that he dislikes it when someone else tries to charm his darling the way he does and that e likes it even less when they react flattered by it. Such experiences never really fail to make him a bit more possessive since it's a brilliant reminder that he wants no one else to steal you away from him.

✨He ensures protection as good as he can, but if his darling is a mage themselves he naturally admires their strength and respects it when they can kick someone's asses all by their own. We did see in the Grand Magic Games that he isn't exactly strong when it comes to brute strength so in that aspect his darling might actually surpass him, but he is smart and great in other things. He has without a doubt his own little fanbase and has influence due to his popularity so it may very well be that he uses this against people he views as serious threats and destroys their reputation just like this. He does this more with people who harrassed the s/o or make their life hard rather than people who try to snatch his darling away and make them theirs. In such cases he rather trusts his own looks and charms.

✨Assuming that he does manage to become his darling's boyfriend, it might be not very likely that they would break up very fast since Hibiki almost appears to be the prefect boyfriend, he's probably just a bit too much. But since Hibiki views the whole reason you two met in the first place as fate he of course doesn't plan on letting his darling leave now that he's found true love. He uses manipulation over violence since he sees himself above such brute methods and in general he prefers blackmailing and bribing over physical force the moment he fails to solve an issue the normal way.

✨It's really not seen as anything serious when he first is seen in public with you, but when it is suddenly made clear soon after that he stopped looking at other women and stopped flirting with every women he's encountering, it's made clear that this is due to his relationship with you. His teammates and Ichiya congratulate him soon after for having found the real passionate love. Hibiki is actually a bit careful around his teammates when you're with him since they are womanizers as well and for that might behave the same with you which does make him jealous a bit. I think he has no real problem being extremely cheesy and romantic with you even in front of others. That guy does give his darling space even if he can be rather clingy from time to time, but if he misses them he tends to try to communicate per telepathy.

Eve Tearm

💛Eve is pretty much alike to Hibiki in this matter. He as well is a semi-delusional Yandere. However, he isn't like Hibiki a more intellectual character yet and different from Hibiki lacks the more serious side. He is younger after all and views that as part of his charm so he has a far more stronger side to himself than Hibiki has. Because Eve falls much more faster in love than Hibiki does and for that has a much more stronger view on destiny and that him and his darling are meant to be. He is protective as well. He might be younger and maybe less experienced than his other friends, but he as well wants to prove his dedication and love to the s/o.

💛Obsessive which should be obvious. What kind of lover would he be if he wouldn't know how to make you happy and how to always surprise you pleasantly. Something that still marks a big difference between him and Hibiki is the fact that Eve actually turns out to be more on the shy side once he's really fallen hard for his darling which is why he at first tends to be a bit more on the stalkerish side before Ichiya, Ren and Hibiki encourage the young man to go for this beaty before someone else takes them away from Eve. That includes them as well, they are womanizers. Eve uses manipulation less than Hibiki does since he is surprisingly bashful, but he will sweet talk things more harmless and appealing if he has too.

💛Eve is less possessive than Hibiki is and overall is less jealous. His darling gets their freedom and can talk to others all they like, he can endure them having friends and spending time with others. He is somewhat more cautios around other members of The Trimens for clear reasons. It isn't like Hibiki and Ren don't respect the fact that yo are Eve's lover, but being charming and flirting with women runs simply through their blood and so they might subconsciously accidentally and up doing just that. Eve of course is respectful with his friends and they understand him and stop quickly as well. In front of strangers flirting he still retains that more mature approach similar to Hibiki, but just like him he shares the dislike of seeing other people being all gentleman and nice to you the same way he is. He's not shy when it comes to making it to others clear that you already have him.

💛Similar to Hibiki he will share the same respect and admiration in case you are a wizard yourself and for that have spells up your own sleeves to fight for yourself, though in case of a sudden battle Eve would like to fight right besides you. Even with his whole soulmate belief Eve still mostly turns away from the idea of killing someone as long as it isn’t an emergency situation. He likes discussing it out as well and in the case that someone does try to cause troubles, you have a guild ready to help you out since Eve naturally won’t let anyone harm you. He can sabotage certain situations as well where odds are put against the person he views as a threat.

💛Assuming that you are part of Blue Pegasus, you two would already spend a lot of time together so there would be no need for him to kidnap you since he constantly hangs around you in the guild, regarding clinginess he can be more extreme than Hibiki is. He is younger and more delusional after all. And since he is seen from everyone in the guild as sie sort of younger brother he would definitely be able to count on their help in case something should have happened that caused you to be mad at him.

💛The wizard, despite higher clinginess, still respects the fact to hold back in public more than Hibiki would. Ren and Hibiki most likely triggered him to go out of his way and talk to his darling way back when he was still a secret admirer and didn’t know how to set up a good scenario and how to talk to them. Has a more submissive nature to him so he would like his darling to be the one to lead this relationship whilst he follows along and does in the meantime things to please them and make them happy. But similar to Hibiki he stops flirting with other women as we for the sake of you.

Ren Akatsuki

🎆Funnily from all three of them, he probably is the most lucid one. But he still only is a semi-aware Yandere to have, he's stained ith the same delusions as his team members. He can view many of his habits as rather unusual and he knows that as well, but in the end his belief in the greater love manages to overcome most of his doubts and insecurities whether he's wrong about his feelings or not. He mostly tries to show his feelings in a more tsunderish form, but in the end he as well is far too much lovestruck to come over as very cold and his darling can tease him greatly for it. From The Trimens he's notably the most possessive Yandere to have.

🎆Protective and manipulative. No matter how cold he may try to act, he'll always defend you from others and save you when you do trip into some issues and even if he complains afterwards that you should have been more careful, he was very worried and that's evident. Ren is subtle about his manipulations as well, mainly because he wants his darling to love him without him having to use bribing and other sorts of lies and tricks, but similar to Eve he will do it when there would be the need for it.

🎆He doesn't get along very well with other men except Ichiya, Hibiki and Eve for the real funny reasons because he views other guys as his rivals in love (don't expect girls to be safe from this either, he'll merely be more polite). And Ren is the most rude about his jealousy because even if he is more embarrassed to show how much he really do loves you, he sure as hell won't have others flirt with you and take you away from him. He's the passive-aggressive type with such people and his feelings for his darling are always made obvious during such times. In front of people like Hibiki and Eve he is less harsh, but it doesn't stop him from shooing them away when they are suddenly all over you as well.

🎆He might just be the one who would be the easiest triggered from all of them to act when someone starts looking more and more like potential troubles for the s/o and the relationship. I would say that with love rivals he wouldn't be violent, more focused on just scaring them away and use threats and warnings to stay away the moment someone becomes very persistent on having his darling. If it comes to people such as bullies or perverts he has a faster way to react because simple flirting isn't anywhere near as worse as being catcalled or otheriwse humiliated. But just like with Hibiki and Eve I really only see him killing someone when the circumstances are very bad and the person turns out to be a possible death sentence for his darling if he doesn't do something. Anything can happen in the heat f a battle.

🎆Despite his tries to come over as a Tsundere, he still spends a lot of time with his darling which kind of blows his cover up, but that really isn't something new. Ren isn't necessarily clingy unless someone triggered his jealousy extremely or recently something bad happened to his darling and for that reason he decides to accompany them for safety reasons. Kidnapping is still something he wouldn't really consider since, as already mentioned, he is the most self-conscious Yandere to have from those three.

🎆How you can tease him about his constant tries to come over as a Tsundere despite easily getting flustered around you is really funny. Ren wants to look cool in front of his darling which means he obviously doesn't want to embarrass himself whilst you're watching so he always tries his best. He cools his interactions with other girls extremely down after he's courted you since he obviously cares about you more than anyone else. He might still fall back into the habit of simple flirting, but he learned his lessons quickly when you had enough of it, avoided him and did the exact same thing with Hibiki and Eve who naturally flirted back. He got quite mad at them afterwards for this, though they only helped you giving Ren a taste of his own medicine.

[irons-enough]

I want to talk about Molly O’Shea.

Molly O’Shea deserved better. A better life, a better story, a better portrayal, and a better ending.

This is so much longer than I thought it was going to be, so buckle in. Spoilers for the whole story ahead, and a healthy mix of canon, analysis, and conjecture.

First, I can almost guarantee that all those years ago, Molly had no idea what she was getting into when she took up with Dutch. She was an aristocrat, a woman of means and breeding, who was seeking romanticism and adventure. Dutch, with his propensity for poetry and charisma, probably made the life of an outlaw sound terribly romantic. He probably made it sound like they lived like kings. She was expecting the Highwayman, the Gentleman Thief, the Lord of Outlaws, because no doubt Dutch saw himself as such. Instead, she got tents and cots, game meat stew and constant--constant--running.

Still, however, she loved him. I think that much is undisputed, no matter what your point of view. She loved him deeply and was devoted to him for as long as she could be. Too often, people convince themselves that unideal conditions are, in fact, the best there are, because of love. And so she stayed.

Molly knew Dutch’s romantic history, and was intimidated by it, feared the idea of becoming one more in a line of younger and younger women. She feared becoming Susan, a constant yet chronically underappreciated and overworked fixture in Dutch’s life; or Annabelle, who had died due to her association with Dutch. Time would take its toll on her and, one way or another, Dutch’s affections would be focused elsewhere. To combat this, she had to be--remain--the best. This explains her vanity, her constant preening, her ache for attention. Her anger and jealousy at Mary-Beth isn’t personal. It’s borne from this very real fear of being replaced, or cast aside. As a result, she positions herself as above the other women in camp. In a way, she establishes herself as Dutch’s counterpart, the queen to his king, both of them above menial tasks such as chores, petty thefts, and common entertainments.

 All of this she feels she must do, because if she becomes reduced in Dutch’s eyes, she will lose him. If she loses Dutch, she has no one.

As Dutch’s decline begins, his thoughts and attentions turn steadily inward, more focused on himself than on anyone else. With no one else to turn to, no one else who even likes her, Molly begins to feel isolated. The Molly at Clemens Point -- simple clothes, braided hair, sitting on the lake shore far away from the rest of the camp -- is trying to cope with that isolation. It begs the question: is she friendless because she is so aloof, or is she so aloof because she is friendless?

The chapters that follow are a progression of this: Dutch’s retreat into his own mind as he tries to reconcile himself as the hero in his own story, and Molly being more and more decisively cast aside. Molly is the one who notices his decline before anyone else, and tries in vain to speak to others about it before it is too late. She sees his narcissism consume him as he continues time and time again to rationalize the decisions he made which ended in disaster. His paranoia grows. He begins to alienate her more deliberately.

The Molly at Shady Belle sees a man hurtling toward disaster, and bringing everyone else down with him. When she looks at her own future, she sees nothing for herself, because she has become so intrinsically attached to him. She loves him. He’s her king. And he will destroy them all.

In the Beaver Hollow chapter, she is missing for a while before anyone finds her. She must have noticed, must have realized that she was not looked for, was not missed. Knowing that--knowing, for certain, that everyone around you would not care if you were gone--is devastating. It leads to her breakdown at Beaver Hollow. Drunk, driven half to insanity by the stress and fear she’s endured silently for weeks upon weeks, she unloads in a venomous rant of sarcasm and anger. No one cared about her. Everyone ignored her. She was gone, she was missing, and no one cared. Not even Dutch.

Perhaps she told him she snitched to the Pinkertons because she thought it would anger him, and for once she would be in control of his emotions and not the other way around. Maybe she was so drunk and delusional she really believed she confessed. Maybe she just wanted to give everyone a reason--a legitimate reason to hate her as much as they always have. We’ll never really know, aside from being aware that it was Micah who was feeding them the information, not Molly.

And then, Molly is killed savagely by Susan--the woman whom she replaced by Dutch’s side, the woman who, if Molly weren’t Molly, might have been a surrogate mother in this life that was so different than what she was promised. They burn her body, denying her a proper burial, a final insult, a final reminder that she did not belong, that she was not and never would be one of them.  Susan neither flinches nor hesitates, but says simply, “She knew the rules.”

But I don’t think Molly did. If she did, she had no reason to believe they applied to her, not anymore, maybe not ever. By the end of the Van der Linde Gang’s story, she has lived and died as an outcast.

[plus-size-reader]

One Day pt.2

Klaus Mikaelson x Plus size!reader & Elijah Mikaelson x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1563 words

Warnings: none 

Summary: The reader thinking about that conversation in 1001 AD, when he made you a million and one promises. 

If only anything could be simple. 

Part 1

——————————————————————————————————

You did your very best to ignore the past.

Each day, when you woke up in the morning, you made a choice to pretend that the lifetimes you had lived were nothing more than bad dreams. It may have been delusional, but you didn't care.

All you cared about was any amount of self-preservation, and keeping yourself sane. When you had lived as many lives as you had, there was only so much you could do to keep the memories from driving you mad.

However, every once and a while, you found yourself getting pulled into what you had been through all those years ago. You didn't like it, of course, but it was unavoidable. Whether it was thinking about people you'd known or the places you'd been, those thoughts could be intrusive.

For someone who had been alive as long as you had been, it was kind of hard to avoid the past creeping up on you like a bad dream.

You couldn't run away from it forever.

Even now, you found yourself sitting in the parlor, mindlessly thumbing through the large assortment of books on the bookshelves. In all your years of travels, you had collected quite a few novels and scrolls, tales from every corner of the planet.

When there was nothing else for you to do, sometimes you liked to sit here and just stare at the pages. There were a million and one things hidden there, and there was nothing you didn't have at least some knowledge of.

Not that you had any care for any of that right now.

In this moment, you were searching for a single book among the collection. It was hidden behind a big brown book with a broken spine, put there intentionally by your own hand to ensure that no one else could find it.

You had done that purposefully, of course.

Even though there was no real danger of anyone finding it, after all this time, you still had to keep it hidden away. Maybe you were paranoid, or maybe you were foolish but you knew one thing for sure.

Once you were finished with it, this old book would return right where you'd gotten it from and where it would remain forever after that. You sighed, sitting down in the armchair. Every time you did this, it was a bit of an emotional journey but no matter how badly you wanted to just leave it all in the past, you couldn't.

When you finally flipped it open however, you found a few words written there on the front cover. That was all they were, a few words, but they immediately reminded you of why you'd kept it in the first place.

...One day, I will take you far from here, and will never go a day without showing the world how much I love you, utterly and completely...

Gingerly, you let your fingers dance along each delicately written word. You remembered the day Niklaus had written them there, using his blood as ink for the page, determined to start a memoir of the love you two shared.

It was meant to stay a secret, another among the growing list of things that not another soul could find out about.

A novel idea

At the time, you feel deeply in love with the concept, but now, it broke your heart to even hold in your hands. How the time had changed everything, taking hold of the dreams and desires of two young people and twisting them all up.

At this point, those people were some you wouldn't even recognize.

As it would turn out, the desire of a few children was no match for the rage and hatred Michael held within his heart. It was a hatred that forced the breath from your lungs and a ring onto your finger.

A ring that Niklaus hadn't given to you.

No matter what you tried to do, or how much you protested, you worst fears came to pass. You lost Niklaus to his hatred and rejection, and were forced to call his eldest brother your partner in life.

It was true that Mikael was fond enough of you to encourage his most respectable son to marry you, but he had no care at all for what you wanted in life. Maybe he thought that a life with Elijah would be a better one, or maybe he just wanted to see Klaus miserable more than he wanted you to be happy.

You remembered how adamant he'd been, that this was the only path for you. Elijah was going to be a fine husband and though you told him that you no real desire to marry the eldest male, it didn't matter.

At that time, you had chosen to leave out the fact that you'd fallen for his wife's bastard. Something told you it wasn't exactly going to be a selling point, and you knew that deep down, nothing you said would change Mikael's mind.

He made his decision, and the wedding was going to happen.

He didn't need your permission, or anyone elses for that matter.

You and Elijah would be married, and you were. He was kind to you, and understanding of your hesitance and the position you'd been put in. However, Niklaus was far less understanding in that regard.

If he was distant before, he became entirely reclusive after you married his brother. He still loved you, he always would but being near you was far too painful for either of you to endure. This many years later, you tried not to dwell on the decisions made for you in the past.

There was no use in chasing those ghosts.

You had made peace with that a long time ago. Still, as you sat here, flipping through those old, stained pages, you couldn't help but wonder what your life would be like if you'd made a different call.

It wasn't a luxury you'd had hundreds of years ago, but if you had, was it possible that you and Klaus could still be together this many years later? Was the love you thought you felt real, or just the longings of two unhappy kids, trying to make the best of a bad situation?

You weren't sure.

You held onto the idea that you would have, out of pure necessity, but there was really no way to know for sure. You weren't even sure if Niklaus felt that way for you anymore.

Perhaps he had been driven to his feelings for you out of desperation and the desire to not feel as alone as he often did. Perhaps it had never been real, though that idea hurt more than anything else.

You would rather die than imagine that to be true.

Though, before you could entertain such a painful ideal for any longer, you were shocked out of your thoughts by the voice a different man. This man was the same one you'd been attached to for several hundred years now.

Elijah.

He was standing in the doorway with a soft smile on his face, trying to bring you out of whatever it was you were thinking about. "What are you doing, darling?" he asked, entering the room gingerly, after he'd decided it would be okay to do so.

In general, he liked to give you as much space as you required but there was just something about this time, and he knew better than to leave.

He knew, of course he did.

This wasn't the first time Elijah had caught you here, holding that same old book in your hands. He'd never opened it, or even sought it out when you weren't around, but he knew what must have been in it.

He wasn't blind.

All those years ago, when you and Niklaus had started sneaking around behind his father's back, he was the first person to offer any help when you needed it. If Mikael asked too many questions about where you went, or got too hard on Nik when he didn't need to, Elijah was the first to come up with some clever excuse or story.

Even then, he understood what the two of you shared and he had never once questioned you about it.

Your marriage had been forced on the both of you, but you had enough love and respect for one another to just never cross certain boundaries. He didn't ask about Niklaus, and you didn't tell. It had worked this long, and you weren't really itching to break that streak.

However, it was clear to Elijah that whatever you were thinking about was causing you some kind of distress and he couldn't just leave you either. After all, you were his wife, for better or worse, even now.

"He's here y'know? In Mystic Falls" he started, your breath practically leaving your lungs without warning. You had heard some rumors about Niklaus coming back here to build some kind of Hybrid army, but you didn't want to entertain them.

If they were lies, you would be distressing yourself for nothing, and if they were the truth-. If they were the truth, it was simply too much for you to comprehend. You weren't about to entertain any foolish, childish ideas about what it would be like.

Seeing Klaus again after so long, you had no idea how you would react.

...And you didn't want to find out.