#Nol

[3leafmango]

Some ilyoo sketches from the past couple months :)

[pepsimanan]

HIYAAA!! havent posted in a while bc i was BUSY with the NOL custom!!! first time sculpting something like this and customizing in general, i learned a lot of things ^^ pictures arent the best, but its getting dark already and im not waiting untill morning for this -w-

[mirmda]

Fanart I made for Stalkyoo week this year! I have some other Stalkyoo/Aegi stuff coming

[trashlie]

ILY FP 231

ALRIGHTY KIDS WHO’S READY FOR STALKYOO WEEKEND WHO’S READY FOR ME TO TALK NONSTOP ABOUT ILY AND TENSION AND FEELINGS AND EXECUTION AND SUBTEXT I’M RARING TO GO picture me frothing at the mouth rattling the bars of my cage because that’s been me and that WILL remain me! 

Look I’m about to choke out 246 different posts but I’m going to do my best to try to keep this one on topic... but we know how I get so uhhhh. Brace yourselves lmao 

This episode is just CATNIP for me, and I know I keep saying that but forgive me, everything we’ve been getting in these arcs is jus tailor-made, it’s the stuff I feast on, it’s got me scurrying up walls like a lil lizard chewing on the rafters shrieking like a banshee. I am FED and I am addicted and I WANT MORE!!!!!!! 

Nana + Shinae is just unhinged chaos I was completely unprepared for and getting to see them play out more in this episode is a HOOT. I say this with affection, but I am SO GLAD she’s not MY grandma cos WOW I, too, would be so embarrassed. (Actually she reminds me a lot of my mom, pls understand the embarrassment I have endured at her hand!) Shinae and Nana bonding over their mutual dislike for Rand was SO funny - like oh shit wait you don’t like that old geezer OR that witch? Oh you have TASTE (also there’s a subtle little... dig if we want to call it that “Oh I like this one” [eyes]). All the while Nol just sits by watching with that EXPRESSION LMAO 

In fact, all of Nol’s expressions are SO funny and SO good! I cannot get over his deeply mortified blushing when Nana called the headband his “comfort headband” and pretty much aired that he was so upset that he was fiddling with it lmao LIKE COME ON (BUT ALSO HER INSINUATIONS? NANA U NASTY FREAK LMAOOOOOOO implying he’d done something unholy with it I SIMPLY CANNOT) His expression as he fucking!!! Throws!!!!! His blanket over her with his lil eye buggin out? PURE COMEDY I LOVE IT 

But obviously the meat and potatoes of this episode is the Shinae Nol confrontation - and the elephant in the room. Nol says so much while saying so little - the subtext is off the charts and it’s INSANE to me that they are just.... confessing between the lines lmao 

Let me get this out of the way, my favorite point to yell about: Nol cannot resist Shinae. He tries and he always fails. He is so weak in the face of her - and now he finally understands why. She doesn’t seem to realize it, but she manages to elicit truth out of him, she keeps him rooted to the spot. He’ll purposefully distance himself from her - angle away, sit away - but he still ends up angled in towards her, drawn in. She gets to him in a way that, as far as we can tell, no one else can. It’s what made it so difficult for him to actually part with her - why he stumbled and clutched her before he finally snipped the cord, why he had to block her and when she got around that (her message in his spam) he had to drown it out with alcohol. Her gravitational pull on him is so great and he is now aware of it. 

I think he did have every intention to talk to her. Maybe he wasn’t going to be as open as we hope. He seemed like he wanted to at least try to clear something up. But his tune completely changed after she brought up Dieter, after she made him realize that Dieter saw it all, that he knew what Nol knows. Ngl I find this simultaneously funny and frustrating because it DOES put them in such a precarious position and Shinae is just SO unaware of it yet!!!! 

Nol knows that when it’s just them, things cease to matter. It’s the way he phrases things - like how he talks about when they thought everyone was asleep, because it was that cloak of secrecy that allowed him to be so bold. It was the belief that the whole world was asleep and they were alone in their bubble, no thoughts, nothing else, acting on their whims. He knows he made a move on her, and he knows it was intentional, and it would never have happened if Dieter and Soushi were awake. But that’s the thing about when Nol is alone with Shinae - he seems to forget everything else. She disarms him and he acts on his whims. 

The range of his expression is so good here - going from guarded and cautious to the moment he’s putting the dots together and he closes his eyes and screws up his face. Nol isn’t an asshole - he knows what Dieter must be feeling, what it must be like to have witnessed that, to listen in on that. Shinae may not have processed how loaded it was, but Nol can see it easily from Dieter’s perspective. 

And here’s the thing about Dieter, too. He’s not a fool, he knows what he’s up against. I don’t mean it in that he’s competing with Nol, really, but we know he compares his relationship with Shinae to other peoples’ relationships with her. We’ve seen him voice his insecurity to Minhyuk - that he doesn’t have with her what Nol does. When he told Shinae she loves Nol, he obviously meant it as a friend, the way he does - but I still think he was voicing a fear that he already had in his heart. Like Nol, though, Dieter isn’t good at resisting Shinae, and he lets his hope build up when he knows better. Dieter knew he was playing with fire. 

That doesn’t make it hurt any less, though - to basically have it confirmed almost behind your back. Dieter can see it for what it was - not just the way Nol was acting, the way he looked at her, the way he literally put the moves on her lol but it was the way she received it, the way she flusters under his gaze. It was how she stayed at his side the whole time, how her concern for him outshines her need for sleep or food. 

Nol’s guilt is SO strong, it permeates this episode, but I think it’s also very much twisted with his fear. It’s easier to use the guilt, to frame around that, because in his mind he fucks things up all the time, he makes things worse, his existence creates more problems. I love that Shinae calls him out on the fact that it’s not his fault that his plan to get her and Dieter together didn’t work because it’s true. While he’s not wrong to some degree - pushing Dieter and Shinae to be friends does kind of prolong the pain, at the end of the day, they all make their choices. Dieter chose to collect those moments with Shinae knowing they were supposed to be strictly platonic, everything as friends. Shinae still chose to confide in him, to open up, to let him in. Just because Nol pushed the friendship it doesn’t mean they had no agency in the matter. 

But obviously the real issue is not that he pushed them, that it draws out the pain for Dieter. It’s that he did all of that and in the end, he was the one who hurt him the most. It wasn’t that Shinae didn’t reciprocate - it was that Nol has feelings, too. 

Now, I want to make a point here that I’m sure we’re all on the same page about. No one is really “at fault” here. It’s not like anyone has done anything wrong. Sure we can argue that Shinae has gotten Dieter’s hopes up unintentionally. Sure we can argue that liking someone your friend likes is bad. But human feelings are messy and don’t exist in a vacuum of good vs bad. The whole thing about dibs is so gross in general - it denies someone agency and instead rests on those who like them. Is Nol a bad friend for falling for someone his friend also likes? Is Shinae a bad person for falling for the friend of the guy who likes her? Obviously there are things that need to be cleared up - she needs to sort out her feelings for them, but the point remains. No one is at fault. 

But that doesn’t mean Nol won’t feel guilty, won’t feel like an asshole for finding a new way to hurt the people he cares about. 

I know this sounds crazy but I kind of lmao like the way he told Shinae she needs to go, that “You can’t be here alone with me any longer.” 

Nol has acknowledged his role in this. He acknowledges the way he deliberately hurt Dieter, even though it wasn’t his intention. And what’s more is what he’s not saying - the subtext. That she can’t be alone with him because they will continue to say and do things that will hurt Dieter, that will create more pain. Nol knows how easily Shinae can disarm him if he’s not vigilante. All it takes is her bringing him ease again, him falling back into that comfort, forgetting the rest of the world, acting on it again. 

There’s something that feels so urgent about it? Intense? That she NEEDS to go because he doesn’t have the willpower any more. That he’s trying REALLY HARD to be a good person, a good friend, but it’s so difficult. He says it every which way besides with words, and if you read between the lines he’s practically screaming it out loud. 

I actually think he’s handling it pretty well, even if it doesn’t clear things up for Shinae in the moment. He’s acting on Dieter’s behalf - but also on his own. And hers. Shinae needs to come to the conclusion he has and it’s not for him to tell her. Part of why it’s so easy for Shinae to let herself feel that way with Dieter is because she knows he likes her. He’s safe and comfortable. Had he never confessed would she think anything of the way he looks at her? Would she think anything of the comfort he brings her? But because she knows, it has affected her view. I don’t say that like it’s a bad thing, because we all respond to people based on how they feel about us, I think. But if Nol were to speak those words out loud, if he were to tell her “it’s because I like you!” how would it make her feel? Would it influence what she thinks about him? Surely it would! 

Nol is trying to get Shinae to come to the same realization he has, and more so, he’s trying to get her to be clear about her feelings. Do you like me or not? Do you act this way with everyone? He sees the way she gets flustered, he knows the effect he’s got on her. He’s probably sure she reciprocates those feelings and hasn’t figured it out yet - but there’s still a shadow of a doubt. There’s still the fact that maybe he’s reading into it, maybe he’s seeing something that isn’t there. Maybe she’s someone who cares about him and he’s misread it because he’s so desperate to matter to someone, anyone. 

Look we all know better, but we also know how doubts persist! 

There’s so much ANGST but it’s SO good! It’s not angst for the sake of angst, it’s not drawing something out just to make the story last. Nol’s expressions cause me PAIN, Shinae’s make me ACHE. He feels like a guilty asshole, he wants her to go, but he can’t even look at her and say it - he looks away, his mouth set in that way holding back all the things he believes he should not say. Honestly they are so good at hurting each other ;______; it hurts ME, too! 

But also, I get it. I’m with Nol here. How can he bear to look at her when he’s pushing her away again? How can he bear to look at her when it’s all his fault (according to him). He can’t even look at her when he tells her Dieter was awake the whole time. It’s such a loaded statement but unfortunately it doesn’t QUITE land because Shinae can’t quite grasp the significance. 

Actually this whole part is both so funny and so unbearable to me lmao because Nol is all but saying that Dieter oversaw them having a very non-platonic moment and she’s like i don’t get it why’s that a big deal LMAOOOOOO ;____; Nol is going THROUGH it okay! She keeps insisting that it meant nothing, that it’s just friends, what’s wrong with that. And Nol can’t come out and say the truth - that it looked romantic that it felt romantic, that he meant all of it and that’s why it’s so wrong. The whole time he’s trying to get her to understand WHY that hurts Dieter and she’s just hurting him at the same time LMAO OUCH 

I LOVE those panels where we can’t see their faces - where it’s Nol’s frustration and anguish that she doesn’t get it, that he’s trying, that he feels awful because of course those feelings are still there why wouldn’t they be. His frustration, the faint lines on Shinae’s face. 

Maybe it’s there at the back of her mind - something faint, something distant. Maybe for a moment she understands what Nol isn’t saying, the implications of what Dieter oversaw, overheard. But if it, she doesn’t acknowledge it at all. 

Nol’s hand over his face in frustration, that panel where we close in on his eye and Shinae says “You’re not intentionally trying to hurt him!” But... he is. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt Dieter - but he IS intentionally doing things that hurt him. And he still wants to! That’s the thing, that’s why he needs her to go. It’s so easy to fall into that, to act on that, to forget Dieter exists and instead indulge a little. It may not be his intention to hurt Dieter, but it’s his intention to do things that WOULD hurt him, and she doesn’t get it. 

But GOD lmao the way she just starts to rub salt in the wound!!!!! “Whatever he thinks is just a misunderstanding. There’s NOTHING going on here!” 

In ILY universe, nothing is always Nol. There is Nol going on here. 

And look, I feel for him here, a LOT. This must be SO hard!!!! Not just the pushing her away, not just knowing he hurt Dieter, but having this whole conversation, her not getting it, her taking a moment that clearly meant SO MUCH to him and saying it meant nothing. Again, there’s so much that is LOADED when she says “We’re all friends here!” and he says that resolute “No”, his eyes hidden from us, his hands firm on the wheelchair. 

Shinae misconstrues it as no, we aren’t all friends, but what Nol means is that no it’s not just friends. It’s two different people who like her a lot. It’s knowing he acted on something that hurt his friend. That moment wasn’t platonic, wasn’t just friendship - not for him. Clearly she’s unready to see it, but he knows it. No. We’re not friends here - we are people who like you so very much. 

GOD, THE ANGST, THE ANGUISH. I AM SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS I’M HOOTING. 

I LOVE the moment he says he can’t take this - he can’t keep having this conversation, can’t take being shut down like this, can’t handle her downplaying a significant moment. If she wants to tell herself it was nothing but to keep reiterating it to him? Unbearable! But also I LOVE that Shinae stands her group and puts her foot down, I love her calling him out because like I get it! I understand both of them. She’s had no time to process any of this, all she knows is she wants him to stop pushing her away, she wants him to stop boxing her out, she wants him to be OPEN. 

In a way, they are fighting for the same thing, but they keep obstructing each other. They want the same thing but they’re speaking in different languages. He WANTS her to see it - that it wasn’t a platonic moment, that he meant it that it matters that their fingerprints are all over it. He wants her to see what Dieter saw. She wants him to show himself, to open up, to stop hiding, to be vulnerable. They are trying SO HARD to get the same thing, but they just keep butting heads and getting in each others’ way. 

AND WHEN SHE TELLS NOL THAT SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DATING DIETER? OH MY /GOD/ lmao alkjfkjafkjafkjafkjja alfjakfjj SHRIEKS 

Not ONLY has she basically downplayed this whole romantic moment, downplayed whatever is transpiring between them but she goes on to say SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DIETER?! LMAOOOOOOOOO Again I reiterate no one is at fault here!!!!!! But lmaooooo the OUCHIES of this whole conversation! Isn’t it bad enough that she says it was nothing it doesn’t mean anything, and then she goes on to be like I mean i don’t totally NOT not like him idk..... LMAO 

He’s clearly frustrated both in trying to get her to understand what he isn’t voicing, but also because he seems like such a resolute person? Or at least, he tries to be. I assume it’s kind of like... he realized he likes her and that’s it. It’s not that he thinks he might like her, it’s not that he might have some feelings. He knows he’s all in, all feelings, all eyes on her. And she appears so wishy washy - flirting with him but doesn’t acknowledge it, unintentionally stringing Dieter along and igniting that hope. 

And the thing is she isn’t doing any of this maliciously. She’s tried to be clear with Dieter! It’s not her fault that he keeps getting his hopes up. She’s had no time to process her feelings for Nol, has had no experiences to compare any of this to. I love this conversation between them because it illuminates how little Shinae knows about feelings, about love, about romance. She hasn’t let anyone in in a long time, has guarded herself so tightly, and now that she has, how is she to understand the ways they affect her, what their significance means? 

It’s easy to see why she keeps trying to box her feelings about Nol into a box they don’t fit. Of course she cares, of course she worries, that’s what friends do. It’s not that she cares, though - it’s why. Does she care as a friend or does she care as something else? That’s what he’s trying to get her to answer - and I think he got close. But she needs to distance herself from the night, too. She needs to dwell on those feelings - and not just the intensity of trying to hang on to him, but the other feelings, too. The butterflies, the fluttering, the fluster, the way she can’t meet his gaze, the way she starts to fluster if he looks at her for too long. 

Someone said that Shinae is practically confessing to Nol and doesn’t even realize it and my god they’re right lmao. The way Shinae argues back that she knows Nol didn’t like it when she left after they danced, that she knows he was bummed, can you really throw all that away what we’ve been through, how effortless we are? lmao SHE REALLY JUST. Goes on saying it!!! AND SHE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT WAS. 

(I mean she did a whole damn love soliloquy in front of Minhyuk for Nol so like. It’s been an all night thing lmao) 

Also it hurt when Nol admits that Dieter doesn’t have that with Shinae - not even as her friend. Even if she does not not want to date him, even if a part of her DOES like him - does it compare to what she feels about Nol? Does it compare to what he means to her? He can’t look her in the eye, and even as she tries to play it off, to say hey all friendships are different does it really matter SHE can’t meet his eye. 

Consciously Shinae may not be aware of it but on some level she must know. On some subconscious level, that ghost of a thought passes by, a faint wave of shame. She doesn’t share with Dieter what she shares with Nol. It’s true that there’s something there, but it’s something she’s avoiding, something she consciously cannot face yet. 

BUT LISTEN, MY GOD. NOL ASKING HER WHY SHE CARES /SCREAMS JUST SCREAMS ALJKFKJAFJKAFLJ AFJALJJAF AFJAKFJFA

He’s pushing!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that Nol is a ball of contradiction. He wants Shinae to acknowledge what he isn’t saying out loud, he wants her to realize that it means something to him, that there are feelings, that it’s not platonic, and he wants her to acknowledge so she understands why he’s pushing her away. But I think he also wants her to admit it herself. Confirm what he suspects. She fights SO hard but she can’t say why. She cares so much but she can’t elaborate. 

Convince me. 

LKJFKJAF LAJFKAJFA F /SCALES THE WALLS PARKOURS ACROSS ALL THE ROOFS IN THE NEIGHBORBOOD. 

He knows. HE KNOWS. Convince him he’s wrong. Convince him it’s not what he thinks. Convince her that her extent of care of need her desperate desire to keep hold of him to make him show himself to her to be vulnerable with him is platonic. Convince him. 

AND SHE CAN’T!!!!!!!!! 

Again, she averts her gaze! Again, she flusters and blushes. Again he disarms her just by looking at her and he takes advantage of the moment to finally kick her out. 

GOD WHAT AN EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA BARK BARK BARK WOOOOF RLKJJKJ RRRRGGHHR RRRRHGHGHG LDKJC YIP YIP YIP 

IT’S SO GOOD. THE SUBTEXT, THE EXPRESSIONS, THE DANCE AROUND THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, THE ANGST, THE EMOTIONS. 

And no matter which standpoint you look at it from it’s just GOOD. 

Nol feels guilty, like an asshole, he has hurt his friend. But more than that - it’s how he knows he can’t be alone with her, how he knows he can’t stop himself any more from acting on what he wants. He needs to PHYSICALLY remove her because that’s how little resistance he has, because that’s how much she gets to him, how much she affects him. It’s the way it hurts to have this conversation - where if he says the words out loud it makes them real and it becomes a weight she has to carry. If he can make her reach the conclusion on her own, maybe it won’t be so bad. He won’t have to deal with the pain if she doesn’t reciprocate - if she comes to the right conclusion and keeps her distance. If he says them out loud and she has to turn him down? He can’t handle that he can’t bear it. But at the same time, every time she denies that their shared moment meant nothing, that the way he looked at her, the way he treated her (HOW HE TOUCHED HER?????) was just platonic to him???? HOW CAN HE BEAR TO ENDURE THAT CONVERSATION?! 

And it’s not that it means nothing - she just needs the space and time to process it, to really play out what happened. I think, too, on some level she IS subconsciously repressing it. Isn’t it scary? Especially because Nol is a person who comes and goes, who pushes her away and then shares these intense moments and then shoves her away again. What good is it to acknowledge what he means when she can barely keep a hold on him as a friend, when she can barely make him understand his significance. Nol and Dieter both are such good friends to her, people she can rely on, people who make her feel safe. Sure Nol may not make her feel secure all the time lmao but when it’s just them, when they’re lost in that little world, for the moment, he does. It’s scary, to think of losing any of that. All the relationships she’s ever been privy to have fallen apart. There’s no photos, no memories of her family as a whole unit. She’s seen what Rand and Yui look like. She’s got no experience of her own, and now that she has friends she loves so much, she’s too afraid to lose them. 

How can she begin to dissect what Nol means to her when it makes him feel more fleeting? How can she begin to understand what exists between them is romantic when she’s never really witnessed a healthy successful romance exist?

The thing that makes friends to lovers SUCH a good trope, and why I love it SO MUCH is the stakes, the risk vs the payout. What if you take that step and it all goes wrong? What if you mess it up and you lose someone who is SO important to you, someone who means so much? What if all goes wrong and you can’t put it back together and you make something beautiful all wrong by getting your fingerprints on it and chipping the corners? You start to fear even the possibility because sure it could go well - but if it goes bad you lose it ALL. Everything. 

But what is life if you don’t take some risks? Can you live with that regret, if you never take a chance, if you miss out on something you wanted? 

That’s the thing about Dieter, isn’t it? He knows the risks. He knows he’s playing with fire, knows he doesn’t quite have with Shinae what Nol does. But he still tries. He still lets his unwavering hope go, even if it hurts him. He can’t ever say he has any regrets because he’s given it his all. Sure, it hurt a LOT and it’s going to, until he gets over her and can find a way to move on, but at least he tried. At least he made the effort and can say that he did his best. 

It’s funny that Nol and Shinae stand in that place. She’s doing her best, she’s making an effort so she can’t regret not trying - but she just can’t see the full picture, can’t acknowledge WHY she’s fighting WHY she’s pushing. But Nol is the other part of it, the understanding, but also fear. It’s not just Dieter that stops him. If she continues to deny that it means anything, if she continues to say it was nothing.... that hurts. It’s bad enough to have feelings - but for the person you like to deny them? GOD. ;A; 

At this point there’s a lot of conversations that need to be had, and i think I’m looking forward to (hopefully?!) seeing Nol and Dieter talk it out. I think as much as Dieter is hurt, I can’t see him as the kind of person who would stand in the way of his friends happiness. If they make each other happy, who is he to tell Nol to back off or something? Shinae is a person with agency who can make her own choices and if she comes to a realization that she reciprocates Nol’s feelings well.... he can’t really stop her just because she doesn’t like him. He’s not an incel alkfkjafjaf lmao I don’t think it’s the kind of thing that would make him hate either of them. 

I’ve said it before but Dieter loves Nol, too, so he can understand why Shinae would fall for him. And likewise, as a person who likes Shinae, I’m sure he can understand how Nol would unintentionally fall. There’s a lot that’s happened between Nol and Shinae that Dieter doesn’t know about - the things that draw them together, that make them reach out to one and other. I think he can probably get that sense - there’s just SOMETHING ELSE there that isn’t with him and Shinae. 

I like to think Dieter might encourage Nol, or at the very least perhaps tell him to stop pushing people away. That one of these days he’ll push and she won’t come back and can he really live with that? While Dieter doesn’t know as much as Shinae, he at least seems to have the sense that there’s a profound depth to Nol, that there’s a lot of pain (as evidenced between him and Kousuke) and that his life hasn’t been as easy as Yeonggi made it look, so maybe he, too, will what it means for Nol to open up, to really truly fall for someone who feels the same as him. Who is he to deny their happiness, just because it makes him hurt? 

On the other hand, a part of me dreads Dieter and Shinae talking because WHEW BOY we know it’s going to hurt either way it goes. Will she deny her feelings about Nol, try to continue to write them off as friendship because it scares her, because she’s so afraid of losing him that she’s willing to swallow them down, because she doesn’t want it to get in the way? Even if she did, Dieter would see through it. I think now that he’s seen it, really seen it at play, he knows he can’t keep pretending. That’s why he’s distanced himself. If she were to try to play the card that it meant nothing wouldn’t he get more upset that she’s lying? God it just feels like a painful conversation ;___; And if she’s honest with him, if she sets him straight that she should have been clearer, that she hurt him, it just makes it hurt more AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH 

JUST AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

All that said, I love how good of a subversion of “why does my kokoro go dokidoki”. It’s not that Shinae is naïve - it’s that she’s inexperienced and scared. It’s that she hasn’t had the time to process, it’s that she has this mix of feelings that she’s had no time to sort them out and untangle them. For so long she held people at arm’s length and now her heart is too full! And because it’s subverting that trope, I don’t think we’ll see it drawn out for a terribly long time, and she’ll put on her big girl pants and try to make it right. Right now she’s afraid to rock the boat. She’s been hurt so many times by people, she doesn’t want to be the one who hurts others, she doesn’t want to be the one who inflicts pain. But I think when she realizes the truth, she’ll realize that trying to ignore it causes more pain, drawn out. That’s what Nol is getting at. That as long as she doesn’t definitively have feelings, it only hurts. It drags out Dieter’s pain every time he thinks there’s a chance. It drags out Nol’s pain, that she can’t sort out the feelings. 

I love so much that Shinae cares about peoples’ feelings - especially because in the beginning she so badly wanted to believe she doesn’t care if people think she’s a bitch. She’s so empathetic and caring! But at some point we have to realize that avoiding a problem only makes it worse. It’s so much better to be up front and get it out of the way. Dieter won’t be able to heal until the wound stops getting ripped open. He WILL be okay, he WILL get over. But it won’t happen until she makes things clear. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS SO MANY FEELINGS I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT NOL’S RESOLVE BUT I’M SAVING THAT FOR A SEPARATE POST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS 

[adventuressclubamericas]

Cool Stuff in New Orleans - The Exchange Shop Beginning in the 19th century, Women’s Exchanges began appearing across the country as a venue that would help women from all rungs of society support themselves. A Woman’s Exchange “is a depot or salesroom where any woman from the richest lady in the land to the poorest can place the work of her fingers and offer it for sale.”

While the movement has faded in recent years, there are still some Women’s Exchanges in operation. One just happens to be 2 blocks from our Con hotel.

The Louisiana Women’s Exchange was founded in 1881 and remains one of the South’s oldest women’s nonprofits. The Exchange Shop is housed in one of the last 19th century stable buildings in the French Quarter and is associated with the Hermann-Grima and Gallier house museums. The Exchange “…represents a number of Louisiana women and non-binary artists…” offering “…locally designed and produced artisanal goods including home decor, soaps, textiles, toys, books, culinary specialties, and logo merchandise.” Try to make some time to check it out while you’re in town for Con!

[kakashi-fangirl-ita-blog]

Do you think that Kousuke is now addicted to the drugs Yui has given him for his whole life? Like- if now he starts to refuse whatever his mom gives him, that will drift him away from the thing that always gave him comfort (the drugged tea and probably food) and that Yui probably gave him regularly so he wouldn't actually feel addicted to it (so he wouldn't get suspicious about his own symptomps). Will he feel like an actual drug addict and will he start to actively look for the drug?

[popomegranate]

Shin-ae

Shin-ae Yoo does not pick her Pokémon for any specific reasons or strategies. She has no type preference nor do she care to have strongly trained up pokemon. Her Pokémon are her friends :)

Munchlax: Munchlax is Shin-aes partner pokemon, he is a perfect mirror of the goofy side of her personality. He loves food and naps, something shin-ae relates to heavily.

Litten: Litten is Shin-aes lil buddy. Shin-ae loves cats, thus Litten.

Eevee: Shin-aes eevee is currently unevolved as Shin-ae still isn’t entirely certain of her place in the world and who she wants to be, thus her Eevee reflects that.

Polywhirl: A pokemon Shin-ae has simply because she liked him.

Plusle: A pokemon shin-ae got in grade school…I wonder who has the Minun?

Psyduck: A pokemon Shin-ae only recently added to her team, she guesses he used to belong by someone else because of how well he’s been taken care of. He has frequent headaches. Shin-ae loves him.

Kousuke

Kousuke works for the Hirahara family business (definitely not a front for team Galactic). The Hirahara family originated from the Sinnoh region, therefor the majority of his Pokémon are from Sinnoh. Kousuke participated in a few contests when he was younger, but he left that life behind. He says he doesn’t miss it (he does).

Luxray: one of two of Kousukes first pokemon, Kousuke raised her up from a shinx and as she evolved into a Luxio and then a Luxray, the more protective of Kousuke she became. She is wary of Yui.

Lucario: Lucario is the Pokémon that Kousuke has the strongest bond with. Raised him up since he was a riolu, their strong bond during times when Kousuke felt isolated and alone is what allowed him to evolve into a Lucario. Lucario have a strong sense of right, wrong, and justice. A Lucario will not trust a person who is rotten to their core. Kousuke has been through a lot, and done a lot, but he’s not rotten to his core. Thus his Lucario trusts him. His Lucario is also wary and does not like Yui. But for the sake of his trainer he simply keeps his distance from her.

Kricketot: Kricketot is representative of Kousukes love for music, and also one of his best adversaries in contests.

Glaceon: Glaceon is a Pokémon Kousuke has had since she was an eevee. He wanted her to evolve into a Glaceon because of thought they were the pinnacle of elegance. (Glaceon are also cold and defensive. Their fur becomes prickle and sharp when they become defensive.)

Glameow: Kousukes cat companion, Glameow are known to fickle but can be very loving. Glameow is often there at the end of Kousukes days to offer comfort to receive its cuddles.

Alcremie: A gift from Kousukes mother Yui, Alcremie has been with Kousuke since he graduated high school.

Psyduck: A pokemon Kousuke no longer has. The third Pokémon he ever had, the first one he ever caught himself, Psyduck began getting terrible headaches right after Kousuke graduated from high school. One morning Kousuke woke up to find Psyduck gone.

Nol

Nols Pokémon journey has been..unconventional. He used to travel with his mother. Then he began to participate in gym battles at a young age. He was very good at gaining gym badges. He longer participates in gym battles. Nol used to have 6 Pokémon now he only has 5.

Blaziken: Nols first Pokémon he’s had since he was a torchic, one of two birthday gift Pokémon from his mother. They are very close.

Heracross: A pokemon Nol caught after a couples of incidents, where he felt he needed to protect himself better.

Growlithe: A pokemon Nol caught because he was friendly and loyal, Nol also loves any dog like Pokémon.

Gogoat: A pokemon that used to belong to his mother. He never uses Gogoat in battle.

Cubone: Cubone began following Nol around shortly after Nols mother passed. Nol initially had no interest in catching him until one day the Cubone held onto his leg for comfort. Ever since they’ve been inseparable.

Yujing

Yujing is a part time contest coordinator, part time journalist. Kousuke *was* her greatest contest competition. Now she focuses more on her journalism.

Lopunny: Her partner Pokémon and one of greatest contest adversaries. Always by her side ever since she was a buneary.

Mismagius: Yujings silent journalistic partner, together they always get the info they want.

Gardevoir: Elegant, graceful, and beautiful Gardevoir is a mirror of Yujings grace and personality.

Lapras: A trusted Pokémon of Yujings that she relies on to read and understand others.

Milotic: Considered one of the most beautiful pokemon in the world, and known for its ability to soothe others, Yujing had to have her.

Togekiss: A peaceful pokemon that Yujing often uses in contests.

Houdour: A pokemon that Yujing is taking care of for a certain kid.

Hansuke

Hansuke is a doctor of people and Pokemon! He used to travel with Kousuke to Pokemon contests when they were children, now he mostly sticks to the hospital.

Ambipom: Hansukes pokemon partner, he mirrors his goofy personality. As an Aipom, he and hansuke, along with Riolu and Kousuke would often go on outdoor adventures when they were children.

Chansey: His doctor pokemon assistant. She tries to heal Kousuke all the time for some reason.

Gallade: A pokemon he totally didn’t get to match Yujing but then he became super attached to his Ralts and now he’s a Gallade that’s his fierce companion.

Slowbro: A lazy pokemon Hansuke grew attached to.

Ampharos: A pokemon who Hansuke often utilizes on chaotic days at the hospital (or in clubs when he loses his friends) for her beacon light tail.

Marstomp: A pokemon Kousuke and Hansuke came upon when they were children as a Mudkip. They fought over who would get to catch him until Yui told Kousuke he did not need the Pokemon. And that was that. So Hansuke caught the Mudkip and told Kousuke they could both train it. Kousuke never did.

Dieter

Bears. That’s it. (However if you examine you will see all the bears are from different regions, reflecting that Dieter moves around a lot).

Min-Hyuk

Min-Hyuk grew up around Johto pokemon but now he currently resides in Unova (America).

Charizard: A pokemon Min-Hyuk caught purely because he thought he was a cool badass pokemon.

Scrafty: The Pokemon equivalent of Min-hyuk. Also a fighting type.

Timburr: Fighting type Pokemon.

Krokorok: Another Pokemon Min-Hyuk thought was too cool not to have.

Sawk: Fighting type pokemon AND martial arts pokemon

Throh: Fighting type pokemon AND martial arts pokemon

Alyssa

Alyssa is a performer in a girl group, and has pokemon that often performer with her on stage.

Chimeco: Alyssa’s first pokemon and one that has grown with her overtime. When she was a child her Chimeco was susceptible to screeching outbursts when Alyssa became too overwhelmed. Now she’s far more in control of her emotions. She performs on stage with Alyssa some times.

Whismur: A pokemon the girls in Alyssa’s group wanted her to get, as long as she never evolves her. Alyssa has grown very fond of her Whismur.

Espeon: One of Alyssa’s first pokemon, Alyssa raised her from an Eevee. She had been hoping her Eevee would evolve into a Slyveon. Because of this, her group deemed her Espeon unable to perform with them.

Bellassom: A pokemon gifted to her by Yui and Gun Kim. They told her a Bellassom would be the perfect pokemon to perform with.

Minun: A pokemon Alyssa got in grade school.. she doesn’t let this pokemon perform with her. She tries not to think about the fact that her Minun is separated from its Plusel.

Elgyem: A pokemon Alyssa caught after she left grade school, a pokemon she loves and values dearly. Her group mates do not understand why she owns this pokemon. Alyssa never shows him publicly. But she loves him.

Yui

Yui is the Lady of the Hirahara Corporation.

Vespiquen: A pokemon that is a reflection of Yuis status.

Froslass: They say a Froslass is the spirit of a lost lady. Yui just liked the thought of having a ghost pokemon.

Nidoqueen: One of her first pokemon gifted to her by her father.

Seviper: Yuis preferred pokemon type, poison. Her Seviper does not make many public appearances with her.

Roserade: Yuis first pokemon ever, whom she raised from a budew. Roserade specializes in making poisons. Yui has always been fascinated by this.

Polteageist: Yui just loves tea.

Rand

A lot is unknown about Rand, we know he traveled the Galar region. And we know he is now CEO of Hirahara corp. He also used to participate in the Pokémon league. He no longer does.

Persian: The Pokémon of a rich business man.

Stoutland: A pokemon that belonged to Nessa.

Nidoking: A pokemon gifted to Rand by his wife Yui.

Orbeetle: A galarian pokemon he’s has since he was young, a reflection of his business prowess and this pokemon is vastly intelligent.

Indeedee: Male and Female indeedee have an intense bond, and the male act as valets to their female partner. Rand has the male Indeedee. Nessa had the female. Nessas Indeedee was never recovered. Rand never calls upon his Indeedee anymore, for he is lost without his other half.

Mr.Rime: A pokemon that is a reflection of a side of Rand no one except one known person has ever witnessed. Mr.Rime is rarely seen, but when Kousuke was younger he would often be found attempting to entertain him and make him laugh. Yui put an end to that. Rand hides him away now.

[atelierdetaffy]

[aoi-13613]

Nol studies ehe 🍊

[orangepopsicles444]

maybe i always knew that the hiriharas were going to try and get rid of yeong-gi from the start but this scene specifically really confirmed it for me (ivan the terrible)

especially after this too hahah………

[arty-angel-things]

Quick doodle inspired by @nonlethal-au ! I got a few things wrong/inaccurate because I wasn't paying attention haha but!

Nol is just so soft to me, I wanted to draw him having a chill time

I had been crocheting and listening to the radio right before I found your blog, so I drew him chilling with me, listening to smooth jazz together

I love your art style, it's so pretty and clean, keep up the great work!

[pepsimanan]

NOL again ^^ will be making her a vtuber model just for practice. might share some progress later!!

[hummingvoid]

Sorry I've been out for a while. Something particular was announced and I spent these 2,5 weeks being unhinge about this jester.

[willyoubemypartner]

Stalkyoo Hands

[trashlie]

Have I been waiting to make this one, too? Duh you know it. I am nothing if not consistent. 

[ravnloft]

readmore bc i love the color palette these like 30 screenshots have...