#even the justice league

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I just need A Wayne Family Podcast where all they do is listen and judge.

[psychokatrixxxy]

Love when the Justice League thinks Batman is a cryptid. This believe is only further enhanced by the face his sidekick, Robin, is clearly a shapeshifter, what with changing their height, hair style, skin tone, and even gender.

Batman clearly thinks that by having Robin look different every couple of years, it will show that they aren't cryptids like it would if Robin didn't age.

But the Justice League is too smart for that. They figured it out! But they are good friends (colleagues) and won't spill Batman's secret, but they will drop hints to him that they know, to show that they are smarter than he gives them credit for (they aren't.)

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When the batkids learn that the league thinks this, they start periodically going to the Watchtower with Bruce, taking turns dressed up as Robin.

The League is surprised as Robin seems to prefer taking the form of a child, perhaps to have villains underestimate them? But they just assume Robin is trying out something new.

The batkids definitely tell eachother about what was said/happened as to further sell the act of Robin being a shapeshifter, because clearly it has to be the same person, Robin knows what happened, so it couldn't of been someone else dressed as Robin.

[frownyalfred]

but yeah in the same vein of Bruce’s kids only following his orders in the field…of course they do. in Gotham, if you don’t hit the deck when Bruce says “Down!” you’re getting hurt, at bare minimum. there’s no questioning orders or hesitating. you have to trust that when B tells you to do something, it’s in your best interest, or in the best interest of the civilians, to do it — and do it really fucking well. really fucking fast.

that doesn’t mean the JL give orders in the same way, even though they’re well-intentioned. that doesn’t mean they fully grasp an emergency scene or its civilians’ needs. they might not realize how risky an order they, as a meta, give to a fully human vigilante is. they’re not a tactician the way Bruce is — they’re not thinking in plans, and backup plans, and fallback plans and extractions.

so yeah, Dick doesn’t take direct orders from anyone but B. of course he doesn’t.

[artstaeus3600]

You know I only like miscommunication when it's being used for comedic purposes like, for example 14 year old Billy Batson and 15 year old Danny Phantom accidentally get magically Married and both tell the other there identities because why not there stuck married till one of them stops exiting so they might as well make the best of it, and just don't tell anybody cause nobody asks ( nobody would know to ask anyway)

And it's been years since then that Captain Marvel (17 years old now) off hand says he has to go back for dinner with his husband (Danny, 18 years old, they're going on a date), and all of the Justice League league being surprised by this info, and of course they ask if they can meet his husband and Marvels like sure lemme ask him, and Danny agrees to go but only as Phantom (because secret identities) but also Phantom still looks like he's 14 back from when he died. So it's just weird to the Justice League and it's just so funny to me that they don't ask about the obvious age difference while also trying to subtly ask how they met! And then more confusion when Danny mentions stuff he did while he time traveled and then the justice league thinks he's thousands of years old but just looks like how he died (tho the person who asked that most definitely got the cold shoulder)(probably Batman)

[moonlightcycle571]

People trying to figure out why Captain Marvel is more tolerant to some heroes than others. Hear me out.

So we’ve all seen Captain Marvel is very fond of Superheroes and is nice to everyone right? Now I present ACAB Billy Batson only selecting which hero he likes.

He will still be nice to other heroes, he doesn’t start fights (is this man can hold out on punching a Guy Gardner who makes it his mission to see him snap, he can be nice to anyone). But he won’t be close to them.

He’s close to Cyborg, Plasticman, WonderWoman and surprisingly Batman. He’ll start conversations with them, he’ll share recipes and want to hang out with them.

What’s weird is that he will not initiate conversation with the Green lanterns (space cops), Doctor Fate (magic cop), Flash (works for the cops) and surprisingly Nightwing (he’s basically a hero cop, black and blue with batons and electricity, and he gives cop aura he can’t explain why).

Flash is devastated. Nightwing is devastated. Officer Grayson is devastated. For some reason, if he’s in the premise, he will be the one targeted by Captain Marvel. No one knows what he did. Everyone think it’s funny.

Hawkwoman (former cop) became one of his favourites after he saw her publicly fight cops. She doesn’t know why he really likes her, but she finds it flattering.

When he gets outed as ACAB, he becomes Hawkwomans favourite. They are ACAB buddies.

[thenewgirl76]

Taking advantage of Constantine's tendency to zone out during debriefings, Danny sneaks up on him from behind while invisible and goes eldritch abomination before becoming visible.

Danny: JOHN CONSTANTINE! I'VE COME FOR YOUR PITIFUL SOUL!

Constantine: BLOODY HELL!

*magic blasts Danny, knocking him to the floor and causing him to revert to his normal ghost form*

Constantine: You miserable little brat! I told you to cut that shite out!

*lying on the floor wheezing in both pain and laughter*

Danny: I regret nothing

The rest of the JL and JLD members either snicker in amusement or shake their head in disappointment.

[bet-on-me-13]

Dani bonding with Roy and Kon about being Clones.

Dani: Thank you for coming today.

Roy: Why are we here?

Dani: Welcome to the "Evil Person Cloned us but we decided to be Heroes club!"

Kon: ...you're a Clone?!

Dani: Did I not mention that?

[magicpiano]

AU where the justice league finds out that Captain Marvel is homeless. Not Billy, they still have no idea about the captain's secret identity, but the Captain.

Maybe they were discussing a case or something, and he says something that is just a little too knowledgeable. Something only someone who has been there would know. He tries to backtrack when he realizes that he said too much, tries to explain that getting a job and an apartment is hard when you do hero work which doesn't pay (and hopes they don't find out the real reason he can't get a job is because no one will hire a kid).

The league comes to the conclusion the reason he is so secretive about his identity is because he is ashamed he is homeless. Naturally, everyone immediately feels super bad about this and tries to help him much to his dismay.

Identity shenanigans ensue.

[superbat-love]

Batman sounding the most normal about falling to his death, like it’s an expected thing by now for Superman to catch him

[beauxjangles]

why is batman in a parasocial relationship with the entire justice league except he doesnt know it. with the entirety of arkham asylum too. the batkids can't take him anywhere lest he start forming parasocial relationships

[spacedace]

Quick dp x dc prompt:

The BatFam finds out via getting tagged a million times on any and all social media sites that Damian apparently got drunkenly married to Jon & Elle while the three were in Las Vegas.

And that alone is making them all lose their collective minds, but somehow there's yet still more on top of that punch in the face because apparently the three didn't get married as Damian Wayne, Jon Kent and Elle Nightingale.

Oh no, that'd be way too easy to handle when it came to how the press and wider world reacted to the youngest son and until very recently one of the most eligible bachelors in the world getting married at three in the morning in a haunted-house themed 24-hour Vegas chapel by a guy dressed up like Zombie Elvis.

No, instead the three of them got married as civilian Damian Wayne and very much not civilians Superboy/Jon-El the Son of Superman and Nomad/Stella Phantom the Crown Princess of the Infinite Realms.

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also bonus meme stuff, this is absolutely how Damian, Jon and Elle greet the paparazzi upon stumbling out of the chapel and the images being shared absolutely everywhere. Steph frames them and hangs them up as the three's "Wedding Photos" because she finds it absolutely hilarious:

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms

ANYWAYS

A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.

The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.

“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.

“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”

Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…

The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. “Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”

The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”

The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”

“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”

The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.

Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.

One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.

This… might require some phone calls.

[josephsaturn]

What I imagine the Justice league was like before they revealed their identities to each other

[frownyalfred]

the funny thing about the Justice League is that a junior member can absolutely 100% walk into a Founders meeting and completely derail it by holding up their bleeding hand and saying “I think I need help?” and it’s over. Six different parental instincts get activated in one glorious, overlapping moment.

What was this meeting about? Who cares, it’s time to get the baby hero into the medbay. This requires all of them, of course. And then it turns out it wasn’t a bleeding hand but blood from a (hidden) chest wound and now that newbie is going to wake up to six different parental lectures being delivered bedside in the most embarrassing moment of their entire life.

[robintherobiner]

Superman meets Batman for the first time and, because of his superhearing, he can tell that the man’s heart is pounding. Gosh, the poor man must be terrified, after all he does have a rule about no metas. For a human superhero, knowing other people are much stronger must be so scary! So Superman tries his best to seem small and less overwhelming, but Batmans heart rate just keeps going up! Luckily, the man seems to be speaking normally, so maybe its not a big deal? How brave of him, ignoring his fears to help people.

After the Justice League is formed, Clark finds out about Bruce’s contingency plans, and unlike the others, he’s not surprised. He’s already such a paranoid man, but being on a team full of metas, well, Clarks shocked he’s not shaking in his boots. Bruce hides his fear so well! If it wasn’t for his super hearing, he’d never know that Bruce takes a sharp inhale every time he uses his super strength, or that the mans heart starts beating like a million times a minute whenever he enters the room.

Then one day, they’re all in the Watchtower, Bruce drops the pen he was using to write out the plan for their mission, and Clark happily picks it up. As soon as he bends down, Bruce’s heart starts beating rapidly. When he straightens back up, Clarks face is bright red and he can’t meet Bruce’s eye. Is his butt scary?!?!??!

[radiance1]

The ghost king was a cat.

No one, not even Constantine, knew of this fact. Until the day the eldritch ghost of the infinite was summoned by a wayward cult who wished for the destruction of the world.

He was a large cat, actually. About, roughly, bigger than a car with green fur, an eyepatch over one of his eyes, large horns-thought one was broken-, and a flaming green crown floating above his head.

The ghost king laid on his side and the summoning seemingly interrupted him from... grooming? A smaller cat that laid next to the king that, while smaller than the king (or perhaps his father?) was larger than the average dog.

Meanwhile, Pariah Dark is not exactly pleased he was summoned, with obvious intent to destroy/enslave a world. How rude of them. Don't they know he's on, what was it?

Danny: Your redemption arc, dad.

Yes, his redemption arc!