#but they do

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I just need A Wayne Family Podcast where all they do is listen and judge.

[zhelin-thames]

That Family podcast :DISPATCH DISASTERS

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

At the Batcave..... Jason, Tim, and Damian are huddled around the Batcomputer, snacking while cycling through GCPD body cam footage and scanner recordings. The mood? Pure entertainment.

GCPD Scanner: "Uh, we have a suspect dressed as a clown... possibly THE Joker... requesting backup."

Jason: pauses video, stares at the screen "Possibly? Yeah, maybe it's just a casual Tuesday clown with a death wish."

Tim: sipping coffee "To be fair, Gotham has an unhealthy number of clowns."

Damian: arms crossed "Only one of them leaves riddles and poetry. How are these officers still employed?"

Next clip: GCPD chasing the Riddler on foot. He turns a corner... and vanishes.

GCPD Scanner: "Uh... we've lost the suspect... he, uh... disappeared into an alley."

Dick (walking in, sees the footage): "You let THE RIDDLER outmaneuver you? The guy in green spandex?"

Jason: rewinds "Look at this. He doesn't even RUN. He just... briskly walks. And they still lose him."

Damian: "I am embarrassed for them."

Tim: deadpan "They should be embarrassed for themselves."

Next video: GCPD officers trying to breach a locked door. The officer fumbles with the battering ram... and accidentally knocks himself out.

The Cave goes silent.

Jason: leans back, wiping a tear "This is the best thing I've ever seen."

Tim: rewinds, slow-motion replay "And watch... BAM. Straight into his own face."

Damian: shaking his head "Weak."

GCPD Scanner: "We have reports of a large bat-like figure... possibly The Batman... in pursuit of

Bruce walks in and immediately turns off the Batcomputer.

Bruce: "That's enough of that."

Jason: "Aww, come on, B, we were just getting to the part where they 'possibly' identify Killer Croc as 'some kind of... uh... lizard guy."

Bruce: pinches the bridge of his nose "Go do something productive."

Tim: opening another file "This is productive. We're analyzing GCPD inefficiencies."

Damian: dead serious "Father, you should fire them all."

Bruce: sighs "I don't run the GCPD."

Jason: grinning "You basically do."

Bruce leaves.

The second he's gone,

Jason: "Alright, next up-'GCPD officers mistake mannequin for frozen Mr. Freeze. Presses play again."

Tim & Damian (simultaneously): "Oh, this is gonna be good."

[loneswaggingranger]

idk but I keep thinking about when kinn said, "I've never crossed that line with a bodyguard before. I don't know how I should place myself." and when porsche answered something like, "I also don't know what to do. I've never had that line crossed before." but when kinn asks, "can you please forgive me?" porsche answers, "i did that a long time ago."

and I also keep thinking about when vegas tells pete, "If I die today, could it be you who kills me?" and when vegas gets shot right before he was about to return pete's favour, falling inches away from the teal pool which is pete's thematic colour in equal parts contrast and harmony to vegas' red, while pete's shirt is covered in red as he sobs by his side

Idk man i just keep thinking about this whole fucking show and it permeates into every second of my waking life – like i'd be casually washing my dishes and then suddenly. i remember that this show exists and then it's all haha teehee nth to see here im totally normal j slowly dying inside slowly with kinnporsche scenes semi-permanently lodged in my brain byeeeeeee ✨️✨️✨️✨️

[natjennie]

media about people who aren't there. shows where the most important part of the story has passed. the idea that we persist after we're gone, we impact people we've never met in ways we can't fathom, so much so that we become the main character in a story we aren't around to hear. media that creates characters with intrigue, with connections, with relationships, with goals, with dreams, with life. and then they disappear. they are phantoms, projections, idols without agency in a tale about them. you know what I mean?

[evertidings]

i ignored the part about rylan coming in through k’s window for so long but.

k lives in a PENTHOUSE.

what the FUCK. vampires are bat-adjacent not spiderman-adjacent??? will they ever reveal their secret technique???

let’s just pretend it works because i said so <3 physics does not exist in this world.

[askblueandviolet]

if you ever took macaque on say, a date, where would you take him lmao

DF: Ask Box is now open again! The absolute maximum amount of asks I can answer is 4 more now (unless one of the asks is a big one like this one or the previous one. Then those asks count as 2. Simply because they take much more effort XDDD). So if I hit that number then I have to close the box again lmao. But hey, it won't be closed forever. The next time it opens it will be when the next chapter of Colours is out!

MASTER POST

Asks Start 💙

Previous (💜 and 🩷)

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[2bluetwo85]

Is it just me, or do Oscar and Andrea (Stella) give off the same energy?

[hazy-cosmic-skies]

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[olteacup]

watch me start my grind bc i have 2 d's and 2 c's since i kept missing school 🥸💔 (i swear its bc the new quarter started and i haven't been on my a-game IM SUPER ((not rly)) SMART AND AWSOME I HAD AMAZING GRADES LAST QUARTER)

[classic-callahan]

actually devastating to see them so in sync

[dabihawksmybeloved]

theres something so todofam about mockingbird by eminem .... also hear me out ... divorced dabihawks single dad dabi is so mockingbird too like do yall see my vision

[querulousmegapode]

My package has arrived!!!!!! This is Pog :D

I haven’t got this sticker or stamp before so I’m very happy :3

I shall add them to my collection

[zhelin-thames]

A Batfamily Podcast: GOTHAM’S GOT DRAMA

geeky-nightphilosopher your wish has been granted

ps. this is part 1/4

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Group Chat: “Batfam Comms – DO NOT MUTE”

Dick: “Alright, welcome back to Gotham’s Got Drama! Tonight, we’re rating villain monologues. First up: Riddler’s latest speech. Thoughts?”

Jason: “Too long. I fell asleep.”

Tim: “It lacked originality. He’s done the ‘intellectual superiority’ bit before. Feels repetitive.”

Damian: “Pathetic. A true warrior does not waste breath.”

Stephanie: “3/10. But bonus points for the green aesthetic. He’s committing to the brand.”

Babs: [plays clip of Bruce sighing in disappointment]

Cass: [thumbs-down emoji]

Bruce (texting from across the cave): “Focus on the mission.”

Jason: “We are focusing. We’re judging the villains so you don’t have to.”

Tim: “Alright, next up: Joker’s latest monologue. Prepare yourselves.”

Bruce has left the chat.

(20 minutes later…)

Dick: “Okay, so we agree: Joker’s monologue had zero structure.”

Jason: “Just chaos. No theme. No substance. And way too many unnecessary laughs. 2/10.”

Tim: “Yeah, if you take out the ‘hahas’ and ‘hehehees,’ it’s like… 30 seconds long.”

Damian: “Tolerating it was the real crime.”

Cass: [knife emoji]

Stephanie: “I respect that he commits, but honestly? Mid.”

Bruce (rejoining the chat): “Are you seriously still discussing this?”

Jason: “Relax, B. Next up: Penguin’s monologue. Spoiler: I bet it’s just about money again.”

Bruce has left the chat.

[duskkodesh]

Why do you think most people dismiss Morbius as a character? - He's mainly just regarded as a D list Spidey villain by most Marvel fans even though Morbius has 5 solo runs and was a founding member of the Midnight Sons - He's very far from the nobody most people think the character is.

There's a few reasons for this. 1: Spidey is just surrounded by fantastic villains. It's pretty easy to go B or C tier even as a GOOD villain in Spidey's roster because with such a loooong history and such a wide rogues gallery there's some great and publicly recognizable villains, some of whom have just turned into full heroes or antiheroes with a following all on their own. 2: The cheese factor. Look, I love the man, but we as fans must absolutely recognize that Morbius as a concept is corny AF. He's the bat version of Spidey without the bite. His powers make even LESS sense than Peter's because it's not like bats have super high strength or hollow bones. He's also a hematologist. He is cheesy even for a comic book character. 3: He's a blank character to most. Unless you've read one of his solo titles (or watched the old Spidey animated series) before the movie he was pretty much an unknown to the casual Marvel consumer. People who didn't really read comics mostly. Sadly the 80's-90's there was still a lot of 'that's too nerdy' sentiment. A lot of portrayal of the average comic fan being a white guy in his thirties, living in his mother's basement. Comics were pretty socially big if you were a kid, but only a male one if you had 'traditional parents'. Thankfully I didn't, but some of my aunts were definitely different and wouldn't have let my cousins be near as weird as I was. So that's not a lot of people reading the source material and that means less fans by exposure. (Not going to go into the fact that a character in Marvel is written by a million different writers a million different ways sometimes to stupid results) The movie also... well it didn't help. Even the writers didn't seem to get the character at all. The fact is though he is just TOP TIER. He is a poor little meow meow. He has committed atrocities. He is the biggest threat to himself because he makes trademarked bad decisions and then, when all is done he probably cries about it. He tries to be moral, and to do good things but then he absolutely fucks up spectacularly. He is best friends with a werewolf. Is often found sleeping in alleys and warehouses. He has an ego way to big for a man in his situation, and is captain science incarnate often put up against demons, undead, and every creepy thing slithering in Marvel. He'd absolutely be a tumblr icon if he had regular media people actually consumed.

[agent-tempest]

The marauders characters have such a important presence in my life. I look at the sun I think of James. The stars? the black brothers. The moon? Remus. Random flowers? Lily and Mary. Crows? Rosekiller