#this is what i need

[zhelin-thames]

That Family podcast :DISPATCH DISASTERS

At the Batcave..... Jason, Tim, and Damian are huddled around the Batcomputer, snacking while cycling through GCPD body cam footage and scanner recordings. The mood? Pure entertainment.

GCPD Scanner: "Uh, we have a suspect dressed as a clown... possibly THE Joker... requesting backup."

Jason: pauses video, stares at the screen "Possibly? Yeah, maybe it's just a casual Tuesday clown with a death wish."

Tim: sipping coffee "To be fair, Gotham has an unhealthy number of clowns."

Damian: arms crossed "Only one of them leaves riddles and poetry. How are these officers still employed?"

Next clip: GCPD chasing the Riddler on foot. He turns a corner... and vanishes.

GCPD Scanner: "Uh... we've lost the suspect... he, uh... disappeared into an alley."

Dick (walking in, sees the footage): "You let THE RIDDLER outmaneuver you? The guy in green spandex?"

Jason: rewinds "Look at this. He doesn't even RUN. He just... briskly walks. And they still lose him."

Damian: "I am embarrassed for them."

Tim: deadpan "They should be embarrassed for themselves."

Next video: GCPD officers trying to breach a locked door. The officer fumbles with the battering ram... and accidentally knocks himself out.

The Cave goes silent.

Jason: leans back, wiping a tear "This is the best thing I've ever seen."

Tim: rewinds, slow-motion replay "And watch... BAM. Straight into his own face."

Damian: shaking his head "Weak."

GCPD Scanner: "We have reports of a large bat-like figure... possibly The Batman... in pursuit of

Bruce walks in and immediately turns off the Batcomputer.

Bruce: "That's enough of that."

Jason: "Aww, come on, B, we were just getting to the part where they 'possibly' identify Killer Croc as 'some kind of... uh... lizard guy."

Bruce: pinches the bridge of his nose "Go do something productive."

Tim: opening another file "This is productive. We're analyzing GCPD inefficiencies."

Damian: dead serious "Father, you should fire them all."

Bruce: sighs "I don't run the GCPD."

Jason: grinning "You basically do."

Bruce leaves.

The second he's gone,

Jason: "Alright, next up-'GCPD officers mistake mannequin for frozen Mr. Freeze. Presses play again."

Tim & Damian (simultaneously): "Oh, this is gonna be good."

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I just need A Wayne Family Podcast where all they do is listen and judge.

[candygirl33]

I would definitely need more than 2 nights!

[beautyishername88]

Natural Beauty . This is perfection . This is what I need !!!

[zombiequeenblog]

I require someone with very questionable morals and an eloquent vocabulary to call me old fashioned endearments in a derogatory fashion, okie dokie?

[hey14416673248]

so, think about it.

✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚ chilling with your boyfriend while he yaps about a thing he’s passion about and you’re playing a video game on his bed.

he is talking, you are listening but he gets sad over your focus being more on the game. he leans over the edge of the bed, right behind you and starts teasing you.

firstly he starts small with wrapping his arms around your waist, your back against his chest. leaving small kisses on your neck.

when you start questioning him, he replies with a short *‘shh, keep playing.’*

you know he’s doing it on purpose but you try your best to focus on the game while his hand slowly slips to your waistband of your pants. a small gasp leaves from your mouth.

he smirks lightly, clearly enjoying your reaction. even though you try your best to focus on the game it feels impossible to do it because of his kisses on your neck gets firmer and passionate.

his hand gets inside of your pants, exploring your inner thighs so gently, brushing against your underwear. you can not just focus on the game anymore, but also hold your whimpers back.

you lean your head on his shoulder as he gets his way and all you can do is whimper and let him please you. your hand on his hair stroking it softly.

and you lose the game so gladly.

[rvspecter]

donna + harvey + samantha

[icetobes]

buck coming out and someone referring to him as “buck 4.0” and buck just takes a moment before he’s like “no, just buck” because he’s finally just himself, he’s not trying to fix anything he thinks is wrong with himself, he’s just buck

[rulesforthedance]

Tomorrow is my 34th birthday and my plan is to kick my own ass in the woods for four hours

[bratziichic]

[every-captain]

For your fic, "what keeps you here", since it is in an alternative 90s does that mean it possibly has Kate Bush and her albums?

I'm going to make this man listen to Never Be Mine.

[zhelin-thames]

A Batfamily Podcast: "BRUCE, EXPLAIN THIS"

Group Chat: "Batfam Investigations"

Masterpost part 2/4

Tim: "So I was digging through old mission logs, and uh... Bruce, explain this."

[File: Screenshot of a security cam feed showing Batman dramatically standing on a rooftop in the rain for exactly three hours, unmoving.]

Dick: "Bro... were you just standing there?"

Stephanie: "Is this a mood or a training exercise?"

Jason: "This man thinks he's in a movie."

Damian: "Fools. He is establishing dominance."

Babs: "No, I checked the comms. He didn't say a word the entire time."

Cass: [side-eye emoji]

Bruce: "Surveillance."

Tim: "Of WHAT? The sky??"

Bruce: "The city."

Jason: "Bro was brooding so hard he turned into a gargoyle."

Stephanie: "Alfred, can you confirm?"

Alfred: "Master Wayne is indeed prone to unnecessarily dramatic behavior. I simply bring him tea and let him be."

Bruce: "I do not engage in unnecessary dramatics."

Babs: "You literally have a shadow cape-flare technique in the Batcomputer."

Dick: "ALSO. I found another one."

[File: Batman standing in front of a perfectly functional Batmobile, staring into the distance for 47 minutes.]

Jason: "You were just standing there AGAIN. Not even pretending to do detective work."

Damian: "A warrior must be still to master his surroundings."

Stephanie: "Or he just forgot where he parked."

Bruce: "I was thinking."

Tim: "Thinking... without moving for 47 minutes?"

Jason: "Peak dad energy. Just waiting for someone to ask what's wrong so he can say 'I'm fine."

Alfred: "I once found Master Wayne standing in the manor study at 3 AM, staring at a single bookshelf. When I inquired, he responded, 'They moved it."

Dick: "Did we?"

Alfred: "No."

Bruce:........

Bruce has left the chat.

[honeycombhank]

7.25 miles, 66 flights climbed, walk/jog today. Wow did this feel good!

8/11/24

[thatspookyswitch]

"I could fix you" this and "I can make you worse this" that. I can come over and listen and do my best to be there for you and be a support for you.

[pinkmoonmp3]