#especially if its from someone i dont know about someone i do know

[adashulaz]

In my mind, Soren was 14 about to turn 15 when he became a Crownguard. Which also creates a few issues when it comes to bonding because Soren isn't an adult, he's a teenager while the other guards are adults. It's not like they can talk about typical adult stuff with Soren because again, he's a kid while they're adults, so it's just kinda awkward.

Like this would be their average conversation.

Adult guard #1: So Soren, what do you do for fun?

15yr old Soren: Uh train?

Adult Guard #1: Really?

Adult Guard #2: You don't hang out with friends? Or have any hobbies?

15yr old Soren: Claudia is sorta my only friend after our Grandpa was eaten by his house

Adult Guard #2: What the fuck...

Adult Guard #3: What about Prince Callum and Prince Ezran? Don't you hang out with them as well?

15yr old Soren: They're more Claudia's friends than mine

Adult Guard #1: Uhm do you want a drink?

15yr old Soren: Sure :)

Adult Guard #3: Dude he's 15

Adult Guard #1: I'm getting him juice!

15yr old Soren: Obviously, what else would you get me?

Adult Guard #2: Alcohol

15yr old Soren: My grandpa said alcohol is used to kill people and if you drink it then you die

Adult Guard #4: What the actual fuck did I just walk in on?

[trainingthots]

This cannot be to me Delicacy Love,

I do not think if you as anything of the sort, and if anyone is the Narcissistic Ass it is me. I love every single one of your flaws, especially your tendency to project your insecurity onto others. I do the same things only much worse. I am not using anything against you, i do not fight against you. Its one if the problems in our relationship, that i never could tell you no and that your self loathing meant my love for you made me the least desirable person in the god damn world to you. This man, so easy to degrade and humiliate, to use and despise their girl, got spun around and lost when i met you and fell in love. All of a sudden out of my element i only wanted to love, care and respect you, but had no idea how to do that because of the toxic awful person i was. When i felt like j was never going to get to love you and have you completely, i frustrated and angry at myself for being so ineffectual at the one thing i wanted did what i always do, fuck it all up and pretend that i only failed because it wasnt worth doing. How wrong i was. How wrong i still am if i make you feel this way. But the facts dont line up. I have not been critical of you, i am dealing with pain and loss, but it is helping me realize my awful mistakes and filling me with regret and the urge to do better and right by you. This is once again orobably not for me but for the man you actually love. I am so tired of gim being the one who breaks your heart. I am not the jealous type, but i am amgry that while i am hurt from finding out about all my pain and losing you, i feel so much empathy for you being jn pain from losing him. I am a total pathetic mess. I am sorry for your loss, and i hope to be there for you while you grieve.

You are not unlovable, and the abandonment thing is something i have always accepted and ignored. You have abandoned me so many times its ludicrous. I am not belittling you. I am trying to understand your growth and change while ignoring my own pain. Once again i am not doing the best job, but i am trying.

Nothing I do or post js against you. If someone is doing that it is not me. There is a lot of stuff done in my name that is not me these days. Close your eyes, open your heart and know i would never intentionally hurt you. It is all love from me. I will not criticize you, i will not shame you, i will not even tell people what is going on with me because it risks people thinking poorly on you, and i will not have it.

Forever Your Cheerleader,

The Marquis De Sad

Unlovable

To you,

I'm a narcissist and you know it's true. I've projected all my insecurities just to protect this fragile ego. Now that you've exposed me, I can admit the truth about my low self-esteem and self-worth. I'm temperamental and throw tantrums like a child. I'm narrow-minded and get defensive in arguments. I hide the truth about my life because I genuinely hate myself and all my flaws. It's who I am. 

Thank you for showing me how little respect you have for me. I now understand your intentions of making me feel the pain and dishonesty I have inflicted onto you. There's no need for defending myself at this point if you feel encouraged to make me feel like the most ruthless immature person that has existed. I'm glad you feel a sense of fulfillment in your quest to making me aware of the hateful person I am. 

It's true that I'm unlovable. Everything I attach myself to doesn't truly belong to me. I chose to abandon both myself and others, so please continue writing about how much you despise me. Use everything against my will to prove to me that I was a mistake in your life. I deserve to be agonized and shamed for trying to love you.

You said it yourself that I look like shit, so please let me continue to deteriorate alone. I am unworthy of love and believe I will continue to be just an option. To tell you the truth, you were the first person I felt comfortable being around without a mask. I could be my most authentic autistic self with you, without fear that you'd abandon me for my weirdness. When I felt unsafe, you were always the first person I’d turn to because I gave you the key to my tender heart. I guess it never meant anything anyways.

The narcissist in me is frustrated that I can't control your desire to use my pictures, trauma, and love against me. If you wish to continue belittling me just to prove how terrible a human I am, you've already done an amazing job. And still, I can never hate you because I already hate my life, and you don't deserve that. I'm sorry for being unlovable. 

Me

February the last, 1966 Anne Sexton, from Complete Poems

[bluebellhairpin]

I've kinda sat on this for a bit and I haven't wanted to put my two-cents in bc it's emotionally a bother to have to wrap my head around it. But like. Some things aren't sitting right with me about it from both sides :/

[choccy-milky]

sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )

[meamiki]

silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:

context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA

(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)

[bunnyboy-juice]

NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

[fallowyrm]

Experiencing weird feelings regarding someone identifying as a w******, it certainly isn't my place to assume they aren't native american but it still strikes an uncomfortable chord in me as they seem to be unaware of cultural attitudes towards the spirit. Have there been community discussions surrounding this topic before? I'd really be curious to hear them, and to especially hear from native alterhumans from whose cultures this spirit belongs.

[tea-cat-arts]

"Madam Yu would be a Karen/ treat minimum wage employees like shit-" literally the only servant she's shown abusing is Wei Wuxian (and that's because he's the victim of a proxy war between her and Jiang Fengmian around the idea of him being adopted into the family, not because of his class). Madam Yu's two handmaid's love and respect her, and Madam Yu actually defends them when Wang Lingjiao tries being a Karen to them. She also tells Wang Lingjiao to fuck off when she demands the Jiang servants bring her tea.

Also, Karens are unpleasant women, but not all unpleasant women are Karens. That term is about entitlement and being unreasonable (and often times, racist). Madam Yu is mean and unpleasant to talk to, but she keeps most of her interactions brief and probably doesn't have the time or mental energy to be a Karen or hold a grudge that long. If you want an actual example of a Karen in mdzs, Wang Lingjiao is right there

[inamagicalhallucination]

my toxic trait is i get really annoyed when ppl make atsushi and akutagawa's relationship about dazai

[fabaceous]

isnt it so interesting and so reflective of being a teenage girl how the yellowjackets collectively and sort of automatically/instinctively assign certain roles to certain members of the group, often roles that involve getting their hands dirty and doing things that are anywhere from gross to ethically questionable to truly morally reprehensible but necessary for their survival, because no one else can stomach it, and then they punish her for acting out the exact same role that they assigned her?

[moeblob]

I unfortunately picked up Bravely Default 2 again (I bought it back when it released) and then started over since I last played it in June 2021. And. You know what. I like these silly beans. And then I saw concept art for Dag's expressions and I am not the same. Why did they decide to give him huge fangs in it.

(also I'm trying so hard to avoid spoilers less for plot but more for characters so if you know anything that happens to characters shhhhh. also the expression concept is below the read more so you can see what I mean.)

[swordsonnet]

sorry but saying that the accessibility needs of mentally disabled people are just preferences or about "comfort" is blatantly incorrect. if i can't enter a building because the bright lights and loud noises would send me into a meltdown, then i can't enter the building, and that's not less important than me not being able to enter a building because it's not wheelchair accessible. if you genuinely think that mentally disabled people aren't really struggling, and that it's okay to mock their very real concerns, then that just shows that you've been refusing to listen to their experiences. do better or shut the fuck up.

[oplishin]

"it's about redemption."

[puhpandas]

you know the content drought is bad when you think about content from over a year ago and still get excited

[blackvahana]

Thankyou for answering my question about mindscapes and mental spaces. A follow up question:

How would one go about creating a portal from your mindscape to the astral then? You mention ‘birthing’ it of sorts, would that be a lengthy process? If I don’t set up a portal, can I still make like a temporary one?

The last question is, people mention having homes and pocket spaces in the astral, is this the same as mental space but in the astral, how does one go about obtaining an owned space in the astral that they can alter and change like a mindscape.

Sorry for the lengthy ask, I appreciate your time 💙

No problem at all! Hope it helps, and I'll try to answer this best I can.

I think... it's important first and foremost to solidly understand the difference between the two, and what both feel like.

The issue with answering questions like these is that... well. Look at magic on this plane: One person's answer to "how do you curse" would be rotting froth sea water and whispered sea goddess curses, and another's would be to write their name on fire and burn it. One, both, or neither - more likely neither - is going to suit the person asking especially if say the person asking is a nature witch. Well, they could make it work, both saltwater and fire strangle nature, but... The ways to get things done naturally involve pushing your own self and elements to the cliff between you and the world at large, and another persons way of pushing themselves is probably not going to be yours - especially because elementally, energetically, we all have very different selves

That... Is amplified in the Astral. This is why I sort of... have a "dont teach people unless its in person and in a way I can possess and give visions to directly show" - part of why I made my realm lmfao. I can give you a basics rundown answer to your questions, but its not really... its not like giving baking steps where we both have flour and both have cups and both have ovens

the Basic answers are: yeah. First and foremost practice getting a solid grip on what is astral and what is mental. both exist in the same ALL/universe, like fire and oil, disparate but transmutable into one another if you know how to rearrange atomic structures and... many other things. or you could just set fire to the oil lmfao. Anyway.

Birthing the portal: When you grasp both astral and mental, it's important to understand the link. This can be done through existing in the astral and trying to manifest things, taking thought and idea and weaving it into reality. In the astral, you believing you can fly wont make you be able to like what happens in the mental, to birth wings out of yourself you need to stitch thought with substance. You need to give reality programming - which means you need to be able to grasp reality and walk the path between mental and real.

It's... yeah. hard to explain to someone if theyre not already used to portal work (maybe you are! Im just presuming a baseline level of understanding because i dont want to miss any important details). But the idea is... there is a point where the mental and astral touch. There is mental in the astral. The mental - referencing for a second how i talked about reality shifting and mindspaces and such - is very... accepting of programming. The key issue though is that if you programme "a door to the astral" in the mental without actually literally linking it to the astral, you'll end up with "a door to the astral" that takes you to a simulated astral reality. Thats why i say understanding what the astral feels like and the differences is key

The idea is... to birth a nothing. The astral compared to the mental is a lack of mental. Theres a phrase that Hermes impressed on me with great importance lmfao regarding the mental: "Do not assign features to it." This is essentially saying... just that, if you assign it personhood it will become a person. If you assign it reality it will become real. If you assign it a doorway itll become a door - and you will still be interacting with unreality, just now with a mask. But if you grasp both mental AND astral, and use their shared elements, you can birth a point in reality rather than the mind where... the mental gives way into externality

its. yeah. Its rough to explain. You basically want to create a place where the mental stops having a say in things, and you want to create that in the mental, which means you dont want to Create anything you want to more so make your mindspace a sighing body with you as the breath.

Is it a lengthy process? No, it can take place in an instant if you know what youre doing - Ill say when you know what youre doing because it genuinely is just a matter of practice and getting familiar with the two things. It can happen in an instant because mindspace is... extremely reactive, and mental creation can happen even backwards in time - you could have a portal to the outside thats built by your future self lmfao

I just. would recommend really to leave this kind of thing and just try more so to project or bilocate. The reason I have a portal in my mindspace is uh. it actually goes to the sky in mongolia, which it to say the gelatinous-crystalline window in between God and Creation, which is why the portal exists in the first place. Its way easier - and better for the brain to avoid becoming confused - if one just projects from real to real aka physical to astral - the portal is specifically uh. theres a psychological benefit to going from unreal to real wrt this portal specifically

Yes, you absolutely can make a temporary one! To be honest as much as this might sound counterintuitive, i think its actually both easier (that parts not counterintuitive) and more effective to make a temporary one. Itd be way easier to skirt the mentals tendency to take on the properties of the external (as in to stop it from making a pretend portal outwards) by making it temporary and purely for utility. The mental would probably react more "yes on it boss ill collapse and invert" if you arent trying to forge something mental.

Homes and pocket spaces... I personally - just so we're on the same page, you dont have to agree w this use of the word or use the words like this - i see pocket realms/spaces and realms proper differently. Not even based on size, but function. Effectively.... Theres more types of spacetime than atomic, realms are their own sort of... realities with their own spacetime, pocket realms/pocket spaces are... specifically sort of... uh. Realms are dresses, pocket realms are pockets on those dresses. Dens under trees, in that they tuck into spacetime thats tucked into spacetime

Its definitely possible to realm weave or pocket space weave. I.... im gonna be honest I wont recommend it at all before one's familiar with astral-mental spectrum things. Specifically if you cant tell with pretty high certainty when somethings mental youll probably end up weaving a mental realm which. is. devastating or can be. its devastating to find out your entire territory, people you know and love, and so on are all masks of the mental lmfao ie nonexistent. part of why i want to shoo people away from reality shifting before they have a huge grasp on the mental and the "reality" creation function.

Theres several ways to do it though. My realm is actually woven through... what im going to call gateworking, and chronomancy. Using reality itself as a system of gates, utilising my aspect of the fabric of spacetime to stitch a pattern on my own fabric.... insert one of my selves answering to Yog-Sothoth here, I Am That Which Is And Is Not. Knowledge/data/code-weaving and shit. this is to say that my own experience is. not. going to be applicable to everyone. Ive seen others weave tapestries, or plant seeds in the folds of reality, but at that point you need to know how to programme thread and seed.

I think seeds are... not necessarily the easiest method (realmweaving a stable realm beyond a mental flimsy movie set of a place is already not easy lmfao) but i find them actually the most intuitive type of magic to teach others - as in someone brought it up and im like "huh, yeah, thats good actually". But... then you need to know legitimisation and shit. The process (in my eyes) would be programming a seed, slipping it between the cracks of non-spacetime where theres a necessary gap and set of substances, and "watering" it - this is a good method because it allows the ability to grow something one cant more consciously guide and grow and allows magic to spread virulently into a self-sustaining realm...

But - you specifically asked how one may obtain one... I would really just suggest getting a realmweaver to make you one or... making a claim on someone else's territory lmfao. Obviously that last one is a human social faux pas at best, horrifically selfishly violent at worst, but look. we gore others for their territory all the time over there lmfao

Either way... im sure theres more beginner guides to making these things? But... I genuinely dont recommend beginners get in on this. I kinda do, Ive said before and Ill say it again that for certain species (fae especially, and I am part Void Fae so that checks out) its a third function like growing ones own body and conceiving/growing a child, and... people have a right to their own bodily functions without having to be super knowledgeable on shit

however... theres so much that can go wrong that its... it is possible to grow a realm/pocket reality without -

actually. hold a minute. I hate when people presume competence and skill levels over text. I need to actually clarify what Im talking about here because Im not presuming youre "just some lousy beginner haha im soooo much better than you" type shit I loathe that. So specifically: Im presuming you dont have access to libraries of information in the astral with records of realmweaving + what realms are + the differences between mental and astral, i presume you havent been brought through testing learning by spirits to show you the differences between mental and astral, and i presume you dont have the ability to talk with spirit teachers to have them guiding you along the process... Which is all absolutely possible to get, its just this is basically the level I would suggest being at before realmweaving, and uh. when youre at that level - hence why i presume you arent - generally you learn from those means rather than tumblr. Meant totally neutrally here, i still learn shit from tumblr (and hey i mean clearly im ON tumblr im typing on it right now, this isnt a bad thing)

The dangers specifically are just... Hermes' warnings were specifically about the Mental and oh my god did he impress that on me and boy do i get why. The astral? Worst thing you can go through is probably for the average person being hunted down and having your family slaughtered in front of you and then being killed and having to come back to your body and live with it. Worst thing on average for that same person mentally? Ohhhhh fucking boy. way worse. You could go through all that and have to cope with it not being real - or never find out it wasnt real, and then keep going through it, and then start becoming psychotic irt hallucinations, and then completely lose yourself, lose your ability to interact w any reality, etc. the Mental is..... If you lose your body, you still have your mind. If you lose your mind, you have nothing - and youre still forced to live through having nothing, because if you cant sever your connection to your reality because youre no longer able to tell what reality is... its fucked! Mental is extremely dangerous lmfao

Dont take this as discouragement. Chemicals in a lab can do horrible fucking things to you and fuck you up for life, but you can learn chemistry quite easily if you just. take the steps to do it lmfao. Same with this, skill here is just. learning to navigate risks. Also honestly if you do fuck around to find out you probably wont have anything hugely awful happen, its just... when you get stuck in the mental and cant tell the difference between simulated reality and the mental - which are, 100%, indistinguishably, identical because we perceive reality through the mental, the feeling of and experience of "real" is a mental function uh. anyway

[chestersbraincell]

Mann….out of all the things my brain could of brought up to wallow in RIGHT before going to sleep did it really have to be the realisation that I’m like. Completely alone in the world. I genuinely have no stable, healthy relationship like at all. Not even with myself. I know I don’t deserve nor am capable of forming and maintaining a relationship of any sort but like GOD DAMNNNN