#also please do not tell me anything about the game past ch1 because i want to continue to enjoy experiencing it

[moeblob]

I unfortunately picked up Bravely Default 2 again (I bought it back when it released) and then started over since I last played it in June 2021. And. You know what. I like these silly beans. And then I saw concept art for Dag's expressions and I am not the same. Why did they decide to give him huge fangs in it.

(also I'm trying so hard to avoid spoilers less for plot but more for characters so if you know anything that happens to characters shhhhh. also the expression concept is below the read more so you can see what I mean.)

[danijimenezv]

His Biggest Fan

Summary: A little rewrite of the vending machine scene from OH1 Ch1. This was inspired by the replay for the Open Heart Book Club.

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x MC (Jillian Valentine).

Word Count: 2216 words.

A/N: I followed a lot of the game script but also added a little. I merged a few choices because I'm an indecisive little shit that loved both options 😂 And I also hated that Landrat kept Ethan's autograph, so I fixed it. As always, feedback is much appreciated! (please, I crave it)

“Wait! It’s you, isn’t it?”

“What?” Jillian furrowed his eyebrows at the other intern’s exclamation, deeply confused. On the outside, her face was a perfect mask of calm, but on the inside, she started to feel a wave of anxiousness threatening to suffocate her by the thought of being recognized.

“You’re the intern who did the thoracotomy with him this morning?”

“Yeah.” she shook her head, letting out the breath she had been holding, “And he ripped me a new one in front of everyone. It was so unbelievably-”

“Lucky!” Landry exclaimed, earning a puzzled look from her, “Ethan Ramsey actually talked to you! Ugh, this is what I get for getting to work an hour early. If I saw him in person, I’d probably just…”

As much as Jillian admired the man, she really couldn’t understand how Landry could describe her humiliation as a moment of luck. She was many things, proud being one of them, so she only felt indignant about what had happened that morning, nowhere near as happy as Landry.

“It was intimidating.” she shrugged, but raised an eyebrow when Landry froze up, staring wide-eyed in panic, “Landry? You okay?” he pointed past her, and as she turned around, she saw him there, talking to a nurse down the hall, the one and only Doctor Ethan Ramsey, “Crap, he’s coming this way. Hide me.”

“Hide you?! Hide me!” Landry squeaked.

“Jillian, stop.” she ordered herself, gathering her pride and dignity, “What am I doing? I can’t let my first day go like this. Okay, I’m… I’m gonna go talk to him.”

“The man once tore apart the research of the A.M.A.’s president… during the president’s keynote address! Are you sure about this?” Landry gasped.

“Landry, sometimes you just gotta… risk it.” Jillian grinned, “I’m always sure about what I do. It might not be the brightest idea, but at least I’m sure. I’m doing this. Would you let me borrow your copy of his book?”

Landry only nodded, still shocked in place. After taking Landry’s copy of Diagnostic Principles, Jillian marched down the hall toward Doctor Ramsey, who had stopped by an elderly patient’s room. Even from the hall, she could hear the patient hollering.

“I’m not going to ask you again, Barb.” Ramsey said tiredly.

“Forget about it, Doctor Ramsey. I’m busting outta this joint. I’ll tie the bedsheets together and rappel out of the window.” the older woman threatened.

“Don’t wait up on my account. In fact, I might break out of here with you.” for the first time, Jillian saw Ethan smiling, which surprised her and dazzled her in equal parts.

“I mean it! I don’t have my favorite armchair, and I’m bored without my puzzles.”

“And I’m bored of your excuses, Barb. Whine all you want, I’m not going anywhere until you take your medication.”

Ethan muttered to himself as he walked away from the entrance of the room and headed to a vending machine in the hall. He slid a dollar bill into the machine, but just stood there with his arms folded, not selecting anything.

“Hi, Doctor Ramsey.” Jillian approached with the most charming smile she could muster.

He glanced up at her for a split second with bemusement, before looking back at the machine, “Rookie. Back there, were you… hiding from me?”

“No, I don’t hide.” she stated confidently, showing the book, “I was actually hoping you might sign this book.”

“Autographs? Don’t you have work to be doing? Or at least other attendings to irritate?”

“Nope, just you.” she grinned, knowing it would only push his buttons.

“Interns.” he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I should have guessed. Well, if you have something else to say, then say it.”

“I just wanted to tell you I’m your biggest fan.”

Jillian hated to admit that; after all, it irritated her immensely when people said that about her parents or older siblings. She knew idolatry was pointless and frankly annoying, but for some reason, she wanted, needed, Ethan to know just how much she admired him and how much he had played part in the decision of becoming a doctor. She shared the same love, intrigue and aptitude for medicine as her family, but after much research, she knew becoming a doctor, a human one, was her calling. And the formidable Ethan Ramsey had inspired her enough to stand up to her family and choose her own path.

He still didn’t look away from the vending machine, half-listening, “My biggest fan? Is that right?”

“I’ve read all your papers: systemic amyloidosis, Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome, spinocerebellar ataxia…” at that, he turned to look at her directly, and Jillian straightened her posture slightly, refusing to back down, and instead held his sharp blue gaze, “You inspired me to go to medical school.”

“That ataxia paper was my undergrad thesis. That medical journal isn’t even published anymore. You tracked that down?” he seemed impressed.

“I can give you my copy… if you’d like.”

The way her voice had dropped to a sultry tone made it seem like she was offering something far less innocent and far more appealing than a simple copy of one of his papers. He tilted his head, intrigued for a moment, and then turned back to the machine.

“That won’t be necessary.” Ethan cleared his throat, and glanced back at the snacks display, “But I don’t think that’s what you came here to tell me.”

It was Jillian’s time to look intrigued. Over the years, she had perfected the art of hiding her thoughts and concealing her emotions with polite smiles and bored looks. She knew how to play the manipulation game with closed eyes, even if she didn’t do it frequently. But what had thrown her off base was that, somehow, Ethan could see right through her. The way he read her wasn’t something she was used to, and she still wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

“Okay, I also came to assure you that I won’t let you down again.” she conceded.

He didn't even bother to look at her this time, “You can see the future? If so, you’ll make a remarkable physician.”

“Of course not. I just meant–”

“You will let me down again, Rookie. What’s more, you’ll let yourself down. Over and over.” he interrupted her and Jillian looked away, starting to regret even trying to talk to the man, but at last, Doctor Ramsey turned to stare directly at her, his blue eyes connecting with her honey-colored ones, “But what matters is that you get back on your feet each and every time, and push yourself to be better.”

Jillian was rendered speechless. She hadn’t expected him to give motivational and helpful advice, but here he was, proving her he wasn’t just another heartless, arrogant, know-it-all doctor as she had first gathered. Though she took his advice to heart and imprinted it in her brain, she didn’t dare say anything in return. After a few seconds in silence, she noticed how his eyes kept flicking to the chocolate bar in the top corner of the vending machine.

“I was always a salty snacks kind of girl myself, you know, popcorn, chips, that stuff.”

“That’s truly fascinating, but I’m not-”

“I know you’re not getting something for yourself.” Jill interrupted him, “You’re trying to pick something to cheer up Barbara in there, right?”

“How’d you figure that?”

“Just paying attention.” she mused with a soft smile, “You know, I bet I could pick out just the thing.”

“I doubt it. Barbara’s even more stubborn than you. She’s refused to take her pills for two days. But be my guest, it’s a hopeless endeavor.”

He didn’t think she could do it. In fact, he was looking at her like he was expecting her to fail, and not specifically in Barbara’s case. Jillian straightened her back at the challenge and scanned the contents of the vending machine. Her honey-colored eyes glinted in delight as soon as she spotted the hot cocoa. It was, after all, a comforting classic, and one of her personal favorites. Without a second to waste, she pressed the numbers for the chocolate. The machine whirred and the cocoa powder pack plunked out into the tray.

“Hot chocolate?” Doctor Ramsey looked down at her with condescendence, wanting to scoff at her cliché choice.

Jillian filled up a mug with hot water from the machine at the nurses’ station, and stirred in the cocoa. Once she made sure the drink was ready, she handed it to Ethan.

“How exactly is this supposed to-?”

“Come on, Doctor Ramsey, it’s hot chocolate. It’s bound to work, especially if she’s feeling restless and homesick.”

“That’s a big guess you’re taking there.”

“Don’t be so stubborn.” Jillian chastised him, “Look, just give it to her, okay? Trust me.”

“I don’t trust you.” he muttered.

“Well, you could always keep trying your way, but you don’t seem to be too successful at that either.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, but still took the mug and headed back into Barbara’s room. Jillian rested against the wall for a few minutes while she waited for him to be back. He soon returned with a perplexed look on his face.

“That got her to take the pills. I can’t believe it.” his mouth fell open in shock and he blinked a few times, “So, are you gonna tell me how you worked that one out?”

“Nope.”

“No?”

“A girl’s gotta have some secrets.”

Because if she had read him right, and she definitely thought she had, Ethan Ramsey was the kind of man who liked being in control of the situation and having answers to everything, down to the minimum detail. Why make it easier for him? She could keep him as frustrated as he made her feel. It was only fair.

“You’re really going to hold out on me?”

“I’m going for an air of mystery.” she flirted, “Is it working?”

“Mildly.”

Despite his best efforts, Ethan couldn’t help the smile that broke out into his face. It was hard not to respond in some way to the joyful expression on her face that made her eyes sparkle and turned her cheeks a lovely shade of soft pink. He caught himself after a few seconds, and looked away to compose the direction of his thoughts.

Jillian hadn’t noticed any of this, too occupied staring at the machine to avoid focusing on the handsome attending in front of her. It was then that she saw there were still 50 cents left over from Ethan’s dollar. She turned and pressed the numbers in the machine, and took the chocolate bar he was previously eyeing from the tray.

“And who is that for?”

“You.” Jillian tossed him the chocolate bar. He grabbed it with ease, but with raised eyebrows and a confused expression on his face, “I saw you kept staring at it earlier. You know, it’s okay to treat yourself sometimes.” He looked down at the chocolate in his hands with surprise, not having expected her to be that considerate with him.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Jill turned to walk away, “See you around, Doctor Ramsey.”

“Wait.” he stopped her and motioned for the book, “Give it here.”

He took Landry’s copy of Diagnostic Principles and turned to the nurses’ station to look for a pen to sign it. However, Jillian wasn’t the only observant person in the room. With just one look at the condition of the book, Ethan knew it wasn’t hers. He didn’t know her personally, but Jillian looked like the kind of perfectionist who would never highlight or write in a book, the kind of person who would take care of a book as if it was the most valuable possession and have it in perfect condition. That book in his hands had a lot of markers and scribbles, some pages were folded, and part of the cover was peeled off. It definitely didn’t look like her book. So, he signed the first page of the book, but additionally took a post-it from the nurses’ station and scrawled a quick message on it for her, before he returned and tossed the book back to her.

“Now get back to work, Valentine.”

That made her stop in her tracks, her honey-colored eyes wide in shock, “You remembered my name?”

“Just paying attention.” he threw back at her with a smirk before walking off.

Jillian opened the book in curiosity and read Ethan’s inscription on the post-it.

‘For my biggest fan. Don’t let me down. ~Dr. Ethan Ramsey.’

A bright smile lit up her whole face, and she quickly took the post-it and put it in her pocket, before returning to Landry and showing him the book.

“You’re still alive!” he shrieked in surprise, “And… I can’t believe it, you got my copy signed! I absolutely love it.”

Landry charged forward and squeezed Jillian in an awkward hug, causing her to flinch in discomfort and pat his back a couple of times before pulling away.

“Okay, yeah, you’re welcome…” she tried to smile politely and make up an excuse, “Come on. I’m getting paged and, I don’t know about you, but I’m still completely lost…”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Tags: @jamespotterthefirst, @missflashgeek, @openheart12, @takeharryandgo, @aestheticartsx, @choicesfanaf, @fireycookie, @the-pale-goddess, @drariellevalentine, @trappedinfanfiction, @tsrookie, @perriewinklenerdie, @genevievemd, @drethanramslay, @openheartthot, @lucy-268, @writinghereandthere, @rookie-ramsey, @missmiimiie, @ramseyandrys, @ruinedbypixels, @queencarb, @lovingramsey, @gryffindordaughterofathena, @ohchoices, @anntoldst0ries, @bluebellot, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @mysticaurathings, @iemcpbchoices, @itsjustamesshonestly, @shanzay44, @lsdw-blog, @liaromancewriter, @heauxplesslydevoted

[themostcleverandwittyname]

Posing: (Detroit Become Human Fanfic)(Connor X OC)

CH1 CH2 CH3 CH4 CH5 CH6 CH7 CH8 CH9

Summary:

Claire finally has the funding that she needs to do some proper research on the possible causes of deviancy, and with Cyberlife breathing down her neck she is more inspired not to fail than ever before. To succeed, she must pose as an android for thirty days and record what it is like to be in such a position.

It just so happens that an android that is designed to notice any human behavior in a machine has made his way into the same police station that she chose for her research, which means that she cannot let a single mistake catch his eyes.

Chapter 8: Red Interior Design

Chapter 8 on AO3

“Damn, you’re not gonna get any sleep tonight.”

The blonde sat upside down on the couch, playing a round of Super Smash Bros, swinging her feet back and forth. Her gaze didn’t leave the television, her green eyes focused on her character. Claire sighed in response and swung her gym bag that contained her android uniform onto the dining room table. It was getting close to three in the morning, and she had to get up only three hours later to go back to the station again. Yet again, Holly had pointed out the obvious in an overly casual way.

“A little more sympathy, please. I’ve had the worst day.” Claire admitted breathlessly, bending over to pull her shoes from her feet. She was so tired that it was hard to stand. The blonde on the couch glanced over at her and gave a joking smile, coming up with some wisecrack that Claire didn’t give her the chance to spit out. “Robocop found out.”

A smile spread across Holly’s face. She paused the game and clumsily flopped onto her feet with a loud thud. Tossing her controller onto the couch, the blonde met Claire and grabbed her arms excitedly, her green eyes wide. Claire had not expected this kind of elated expression, more or less hoping for concern or sympathy.

“So you’re done? Let me guess, you got caught and everyone found out and it got ruined?” She spurted, squeezing the dark haired girl’s arms in elation. “Yes! I mean... I’m sorry for you, but now you get to stay home with me for a while! And I don’t have to worry about you all day anymore!” She beamed happily, swaying from side to side. The blonde’s eyes scanned Claire’s expectantly and her excitement began to dissipate at Claire’s silence. The researcher opened her mouth and then closed it, not sure what to say in response.

Claire knew Holly wanted her to succeed. She knew that the blonde supported the cause and also wanted her books to be a success for the sake of androids. She knew that each time she did something potentially dangerous, including the social experiment at the hotel and the past five days at the police department, Holly worried herself sick. Knowing this didn’t make it sting any less when she saw her so excited that she may have quit. Even when it meant so much to Claire.

“No, I won’t be staying home… I, uh,” She faltered when she saw the disappointment and confusion spread across the green-eyed girl’s face. “Robocop and I talked about it and we worked something out. But that doesn’t matter now, he’s dead.” she admitted.

“Dead? And what do you mean by deal?” Holly asked, her hands dropping from her arms. Claire took a breath and tried to string together a proper explanation for Holly in as few words as possible, feeling ready to crash into her bed.

“When he found out, I offered him something in return for agreeing to keep my secret. I told him the very surface value of what I have found out and left the details for later. Thank you, by the way, in a month you’d have to be up for an interview with him… if he hadn’t been shot three feet from my face today.” Claire admitted and watched as Holly gaped at her in disbelief.

“You what? Are you serious?!” the blonde’s voice raised in pitch and volume. A flare of anger flashed in her green eyes only for a moment before disappearing to leave concern.

“You’re telling me you were close enough to get shot!? Claire, you told me you wouldn’t do anything dangerous, that you would be careful! Where were you anyways?” The blonde urged, a whine escaped her lips at the frustration building up.

“I wasn’t anywhere dangerous, just the worst thing happened at the wrong time. I was behind what I think was bulletproof glass. But hey, there’s something good that came out of this, right?” Claire beamed, hoping that promise of good news would be enough to ease Holly’s concern. She folded her arms over her chest and shifted her weight on one foot, reluctantly listening to what Claire had to say.

“Robocop won’t remember. We get out of any kind of interrogation, which is amazing, because after I saw him drill that deviant today, I don’t want him anywhere near you, Holly. I’ll just have to be especially careful from now on and stay as far away from him as I can so he can’t scan me. If he catches me again, I’ll just have to come up with something different or try and play on his curiosity in a different way this time.” Claire more or less thought out loud. It was easier said than done. Part of her knew that she couldn’t fool the advanced android with any amount of ease.

“What if luck is against you this time, Claire? What if something even worse happens to you and you cross the line? You can help androids in other ways. You don’t need to put yourself on the line like this,” Holly began, her face twisting with concern as she tried to express what she was feeling, her nose scrunching up slightly.

“This is all for me and I can’t deal with it if you get hurt. I want you to be successful, but this is… too much.” Her words trailed off and she looked at the floor.

Claire’s heart sank as she saw how much this affected her friend, to see Holly so concerned and upset that Claire could be hurt. It was touching, but part of her didn’t want it. She didn’t want Holly to worry or feel responsible. It was Claire’s decision, but she knew that if anything were to happen, then the blonde would blame herself for it.

The worst part about the situation was that the emerald-eyed girl’s worry wasn’t in any way misplaced. This was dangerous and often sacrificial in means of time, sleep, and often times even Claire’s health, but she found it worth it. Claire could suck it up for the sake of the research; having someone worry like this stung because it meant she knew she was going too far, that she could potentially hurt herself. Claire wanted to ignore that.

She didn’t want anyone to care for her like this. Not when she didn’t believe her sacrifice was enough to worry about.

“I’m sorry… but I have to do this, and really, it’s not that bad. I can do this, I know I can. Just trust me, okay? I know it’s hard, but after this month, everything will be back to normal for a bit and I’ll make it up to you.” She urged, trying to soothe her friend. Holly’s stern face collapsed and she thought over the words, daring to hope and be optimistic. Her folded arms slackened and she let out a sigh.

“Well…” she began but closed her emerald eyes in thought, considering her argument. “You’re not gonna make it till the end of the month if you don’t get sleep. Do you want anything to eat really quick?” Holly asked, already heading towards the kitchen. Claire shook her head and almost felt dizzy after the movement.

“No, I had a good lunch today for once. And besides, I just want to crash.” She admitted, smiling at the memory of being able to actually go out and eat lunch. For the first time in a while, she had spent her lunch in the company of someone other than herself. A tinge of regret tainted the memory as her thoughts immediately began to be filled with flashes of splattered blue thirium and dead brown eyes. Her smile faded as soon as it arrived.

“Then crash, dude. Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Holly offered, already leading Claire to her bed. Normally, Claire would always write the events of the day and the research down before she went to bed each night, but tonight was the exception. She would write the following day, probably first thing in the morning.

She hadn’t realized that Holly was pushing her into her bedroom until she flicked on the light to reveal the contents of the room. With a red, grey, and white color palette, the bed and furniture were a dark, cool grey and red accent pillows decorated the bed and the color was carried over to the lamp on her bedside table. The floor was a dark cherry hardwood and the white walls made everything pop. Some people preferred blue, green, or brown in bedrooms for the soothing nature of the colors but there was no comforting color like a scarlet for Claire.

She didn’t bother taking her hoodie or sweatpants off and practically fell face first into bed, hastily pulling the blankets over her head hoping to pull as much energy from what little amount of sleep she was about to receive. Shrouded by the thick, gray blanket, Claire had not seen the light be flicked off but was only assured that it had by the soft sound. Expecting to hear a soft goodnight from Holly and disappearing footsteps, she was almost startled when the bed dipped beside her.

Peeking out from under the covers, Claire watched her roommate give a troubled sigh as she scooted onto the bed, sitting at an angle with her face turned. She didn’t have to see her face to know that she was still troubled. The dark-haired woman opened her mouth but closed in to think over a better approach. Holly needed softness right now.

“Remember when we went to Target and almost got kicked out for turning on all of the singing kids’ toys? And then we went to that thrift store and tried on that ridiculous fur coat because it was the stupidest thing you had ever seen? That employee was so confused and asked why the heck I was allowing you to do that,” Claire spoke up, her voice soft and quiet. Holly turned to look at her and a small, bittersweet smile crossed her lips.

“Yeah. I remember having to wear a dumb fisherman’s hat to get into that fancy restaurant because it was the only kind of hat in the gas station across the street.” she reminisced, looking down at Claire. She had almost forgotten that occasion, but it was one of the first things they had done together. Even in her sleepy state, she managed a small laugh.

“We’re going to have times like that again, Holly. It’s tough right now, but I promise that we’ll do something fun. We’ll go see a movie or go to an arcade or something like that.” Claire assured, making sure to celebrate the end of the month by planning an event with her roommate. The blonde looked away, giving another bittersweet smile. A storm of worries and unspoken thoughts swirled behind her emerald eyes, untouched by Claire’s assurances. Still, the girl nodded and left the conversation there in order to avoid keeping Claire up any longer. The dark haired woman knew this and decided that Holly would bring it up later and not to push.

She was staying strong for Claire, staying silent for her expense. The least she could do was be patient with Holly.

“That’ll be nice. We’ll plan that later…” agreeing despite her own struggle, Holly pulled Claire’s blanket up to her neck. A spark of humor replaced her previous unreadable emotion “Now, I’m gonna lay here with you to make sure you don’t end up on your phone all night.” She didn’t offer but stated as fact. Usually, this would be a problem, but Claire doubted she held the mental capacity to even type something into a search bar. She gave a quiet mhm and scooted over, making room for the blonde to lay down beside her. Holly accepted the gesture when Claire tossed the blanket over them both.

“Goodnight and… thank you,” Claire mumbled, shifting to get the right amount of comfortable under the covers. Holly smiled and gave her the same mhm that Clare gave seconds ago.

As sleep speedily pulled her under, Claire relished the comforting presence of the body next to her. Holly was her best friend and could be her sister, her lover, anything more human if only a small blue ring of light was absent from her temple. It didn’t matter that she breathed only to look normal or couldn't eat. It didn’t matter that she never had to sleep and was exempt from sickness and all uniquely human disadvantages. It just didn’t matter.

Having Holly beside her as she slept was the closest thing Claire could have to having a sister, even if a blue light was what separated them.

CH1 CH2 CH3 CH4 CH5 CH6 CH7 CH8 CH9

[schtroumpf-a-lunettes]

The Smurfs That Canon Forgot, Chapter 10

Read this chapter on: AO3 | ff.net | DeviantART | This post!

Previous Chapters: Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9

Hi, everyone! After posting the previous chapter of this fic, I have since graduated from university and landed a full-time job! That's the main reason why this chapter is so late. Updates will be slower from now on, but I still aim to update every 2-3 weeks, although it may take longer than that at times - we'll see!

also I immediately noticed a typo within the first three lines after posting this rip.

“we might have learned some less-then-smurfy news today”. I’ve fixed it in all places except ff.net lol. okay on with the chapter now

“I just don’t understand it.”

Grandpa listened as Papa mulled over what they had learned today at the meeting aloud.

“Well, we might have learned some less-than-smurfy news today, but the overall takeaway isn’t all bad, you know.”

Papa looked at Grandpa curiously. “What do you mean…?” Surely he wasn’t talking about the fact that most of the smurfs’ enemies that had posed a threat to them had now largely been intimidated into leaving them alone?

Grandpa’s reply came as a pleasant surprise to him. “Well don’t ya see, Papa? There’s no smurf about it anymore after today: you’re in charge of this village.”

Papa had taken some time to himself, as he’d needed to. But now… Today, even if he hadn’t really noticed it consciously at the time, he’d really managed to assert himself as the prime decision-maker and head of the village once more.

Papa, however, wasn’t fully convinced, and went to brush off Grandpa’s assessment. “Oh, I don’t know about that. We were gone for an awful long time, and you know how I’ve been having a couple of difficulties lately when instructing the others, receiving that little bit of pushback…” Here and there, he’d needed to negotiate, as they’d been sustaining the village on their own for so long and had their own ways of going about it that weren’t necessarily the same as his. Even today, in the meeting, he had felt some pushback that had never been there before – before the time crystals got involved and messed everything up. How could he assume his position was the same? Even if it might look the same, there’s no telling how feelings were under the surface. What if they doubted him now, didn’t trust and accept him so readily?

But it was not that the smurfs hadn’t wanted Papa to take charge again. Rather, they’d needed some time to transition the duties back over to him, as well as allowing Papa some time to rest. Grandpa wished Papa would realise that, wished he wouldn’t doubt himself so much over this. He could see that the transition was just about complete, anyhow. The stage was set, and all Papa needed to do was walk onto it.

So he shook his head with a smile. “This is what every smurf wants. You, leading them, as you’ve been doing since they were all near-high to a grasshopper. It’s plain as day and any old smurf can see it – except you.” He let out a brief laugh at the end, causing Papa to smile. Grandpa continued, “I noticed it in the meeting hall today and I’m sure everyone else did too.”

Papa Smurf was stepping back into his full role again unopposed. Everysmurf was ready to embrace this return, this reversion to how things should be.

“Well… I suppose you could be right. I do still wish that things wouldn’t have smurfed out this way. Just... what happened with my little smurfs while we were all gone?” Papa said the latter part sadly, more to himself than anything else.

***

     In the “past”…  

Scaredy Smurf stood with his arms crossed, looking unimpressed. “F-Flighty.”

Flighty smiled nervously. “Hey, Scaredy…” For all intents and purposes, Scaredy was not an intimidating smurf, but he didn’t need to sound or look intimidating these days for everyone to be aware that he was not one to be smurfed at. Flighty soon found his mind wandering. When was the last time Scaredy had gotten a good night’s sleep? The bags under his eyes were-

Scaredy cut into his thoughts. “Do you know why I smurfed you out to speak with you today?” He gave a pause for Flighty to answer, but Flighty seemed to want him to continue, so he did. “When asked, you keep saying that maybe you want to help out, so then we include you and give you tasks to smurf, a-and then all of a sudden you change your mind! Y-you can’t just keep abandoning duties when you’re assigned them.”

“Ah… Sorry Scaredy. I’ll think it over.”

Scaredy threw up his hands in exasperation. “You’ve had plenty of time to think it over! You either want to help out or you don’t. But f-fine. This is the last time…”

Scaredy left him to his own devices as Flighty tried to figure out what it was that he wanted to do.

It was not long before he was approached once more, but this time not by Scaredy. Rather, by some of Scaredy’s close supporters.

“Why can’t you just commit to something just this once, Flighty? You don’t want to waste everysmurf’s time, your own included.”

“Just… pick a side.”

“Yeah, pick a side and smurf it over with so that we can know what side you’re smurfing on.”

“Uh, umm” Flighty wasn’t sure what to say. “I don’t mean to waste anyone’s time…”

“The solution is simple, then: help work to smurf the village safe, with us. We could really smurf you on our side, Flighty!”

“Well I just think… maybe I’ll smurf in the middle? I-“

“You can’t smurf in the middle, Flighty, that’s what we’re saying. You either choose to help us protect the village or you don’t. And if you’re not doing anything to help, you might as well not be supporting us at all.”

Flighty was concerned that in such a situation as this where abstaining from a decision would fail to make anyone happy, he may just have to resign himself to leaving everyone unsatisfied.

***

Scaredy made his way through the smurf village. It was late morning. Everyone appeared to be busying themselves with something, except he could see the smurflings standing around a little idly. He decided to approach them.

“H-hello.” He gave a little wave. “What are you two up to today?”

“Hi Scaredy. Actually, we were just trying to figure that out for ourselves, but I’m sure we’ll think up something fun” Nat responded.

Scaredy hummed thoughtfully. “You know… I’ve an idea. What about if you helped out a little for our little village side-project? It could be fun, and I think you’d both be really wonderful additions to our team. I have a couple of small tasks that I think-“

“HEY!”

A jolt went through Scaredy at Tailor’s sudden shout. He turned to see him staring at him angrily. Stepped back in alarm as Tailor continued.

“You – You! Don’t drag the smurflings into your nonsense! Don’t even try!”

Scaredy held up his hands defensively. He couldn’t help the slight shake to them, but with great effort he was able to largely maintain his calm and respond. “I wa- I was j-just asking them, Tailor. Offering. Wasn’t “dragging” them into anything! There’s n-no need to be so upset!”

“I don’t care. Leave them alone. Let them do what they wish instead of trying to take them away from their games and do things for you.”

“Do things for me? You think I – you think all of this is just for me? It’s for the whole village. E-Even for the smurfs who don’t c-care, and don’t want to help out! It wasn’t like Nat and Slouchy had anything planned, I wasn’t trying to disrupt their day, I was only-“

“Scaredy. Step away and leave the smurflings be. Don’t try to co-opt them into your little “village defense” club again.”

Scaredy’s “little” club had more smurfs that were part of it as opposed to smurfs that were not. Maybe in the past it could have been called “little”, but things had changed when Gargamel had tried to attack the village just as Scaredy had been fearing all along, proving him right to have been so worried about Gargamel showing up. Suddenly, a lot of smurfs who had scoffed at him before had been a lot more interested in learning about how they could help guard against future threats.

By this point, many smurfs were observing and listening to Scaredy and Tailor’s exchange.

“What you s-said before: ‘Let them do what they wish’? Y-you’re r-r-right. Why don’t you let them decide? I-instead of deciding for them!”

“Don’t you know when to quit?!” Tailor snarled. He went to leap at Scaredy but was held back by some other smurfs. Scaredy had tripped over himself in his attempt to move back, and was now sitting firmly on the ground, Tailor looking down at him from above.

Slouchy spoke, reminding everyone of his and Nat’s presence. “Tailor. It’s fine. We’re just going to go off and play on our own, okay?”

Tailor continued on, still looking at Scaredy. “I won’t let you… won’t let them get taken in by your paranoid antics because they’re smurflings. They’re smurflings.”

“It’s fine, Tailor.” Slouchy reiterated flatly, “Don’t worry about it.”

Smurfs were also urging Scaredy to just drop it, to leave it alone, but he had a faraway look as he sat there and likely didn’t hear them. One that Dreamy, from the crowd, somehow felt that he, too, was familiar with. In that moment, he just looked so tired.

Scaredy spoke softly. “Yeah. They’re smurflings. But maybe you need to give them more credit. We’ve all had to do a lot of growing up ever since… Ever since…” his eyes came back into focus then. His words had not meant to inflame, but that was the effect they’d had on Tailor, who was struggling against the smurfs keeping him away from Scaredy, trying to take him further away.

“You’re a coward. You’d have children do your bidding.”

Scaredy frowned. “That’s not-“ he protested, but Tailor’s words continued to steamroll over his.

“Don’t you think we’ve all gone through – are going through enough, without you adding even more on top of it all? Especially the smurflings. Why would you-“

“Please, stop fighting!” Nat wailed.

His words, abruptly piercing through the air. It was finally enough to get Scaredy and Tailor to leave it alone, to leave the conversation. Everyone started picking the day back up again and continuing on with it. Slouchy and Nat went off and tried to come up with a game to play. They did not follow after or join Scaredy, just as Slouchy had told Tailor they wouldn't.

***

Dabbler appraised the smurfs sitting before him disapprovingly. “What were you thinking…?”

Neither Harmony nor Tuffy replied as they allowed Dabbler to fuss over them, Tuffy being the more reluctant of the two to have any of his wounds looked at.

“You know” Dabbler continued, shaking his head, “I’m busy enough as it is, without…”

Tuffy crossed his arms stubbornly. “Then stop wasting your time and just go and do the other things you need to do instead. You’re the one who insisted on looking us over, when it’s gotta be nothing but a coupl’a small bruises, that’s all. Nothing we can’t just walk off.”

Dabbler put his hands on his hips crossly. “Of course I’m going to insist. Any smurf gets hurt, I take care of it. That’s how it is. I wouldn’t be any sort of Doctor Smurf otherwise. Maybe you should have refrained from lashing out at each other.”

“We barely touched each other, there’s hardly anything to check over.”

“You’re still not getting it, are you? You’re still trying to minimise this. This village has enough going on. I’m here for the smurfs that get sick, injured accidentally, or the smurfs that get hurt by any of those who are actively trying to hurt us. And now I have to worry about smurfs hurting each other?!”

Harmony and Tuffy cast their eyes off to the two opposite sides of the room, not looking at Dabbler or each other.

“Now I don’t care if you might disagree on something like Scaredy’s ideas. Why don’t you act like smurfs about it instead of… whatever this is. I don’t want to see any of you back in here again from hurting one another.” Dabbler then let out an exasperated, pent-up sigh. His healing abilities were being tested much sooner, and more frequently than he would have liked. Yeah, now that he had decided to take on this responsibility fate seemed to want to readily send patients his way. It was just as well he had chosen to try and train himself up. And now… this. He had not anticipated violence in the village to ever be an issue. And by all accounts, he was going to do everything in his power to ensure it wouldn’t become an issue.

The village was becoming more and more at risk of simply smurfing into pieces at this rate.

[deansoutros]

Black [M]

A/N:sorry it’s l8 don’t hate me. also, I’M SEEING DEAN IN 2 DAYS AHHHH! ANNNNDD this is in honor of my bff’s bday! happy birthday sis <3

characters: dean x oc, zico x oc, crush, rome’

genre: angst(ish?), university au

rated: m, violence, (mentions of) abuse (physical and physiological), sexual content (not in this ch) tbh i’m thinking of changing this bc it’s more DEPRESSING than anything else

CH1 CH2 CH3 CH4

chapter 5:

my head was everywhere and nowhere all at once. the streams of tears on my cheeks were pushed off by the wind. I took a deep breath and brought my knees up to my chest. the water was flowing quicker than usual and the creek was higher too. the rain had increased the water in the creek. I grabbed a branch laying on the dirt and started playing with it. the sun had already set and I had been here for a couple of hours. it was friday night so no one was on campus. across the creek was the building I basically lived in, the physical science building. I had never seen it at night, it was a newer building so it looked nice. the lights gave it life.

I focused on my breathing as I took in the sight before me. our campus had a creek that ran through it and only now did I notice it’s beauty. the 5 hours I had been sitting here I questioned all my actions. after leaving and making a scene at the boy’s place, I came here. all I could think about was how the hell I would be able to face him again. I couldn’t grasp why he would go back to her after everything she’s done. was she right? no matter what she did, did he go back to her every time? I felt like the past four months had meant nothing to him. his actions said differently but maybe I misread them. I hated myself for allowing myself to fall into this mess. I wasn’t even mad at nayeon, she did what I did to dean. I had called my sister earlier and basically ranted to her.

“do you want me to go? actually don’t answer, I’m on my way. I’ll be there tonight just tell me if I should meet you at home or elsewhere. we can get a hotel too if you feel uncomfortable going home”

“jaeju, I know I never do this but…please come. I need someone. I’m so lost I don’t know what I did or what to do about it”

the drive was about 5 hours from where she was attending university but nonetheless, I knew she would be here in a heartbeat if I asked. I decided to wait here until I got the text that she was in town which should be anytime soon. I didn’t want to walk home alone and at night either since I had left my car back home.

I felt a drop of liquid hit my cheek and for a moment I thought I started crying without realizing it but then another one hit my nose, then my shoulder and before I knew it, it was pouring. I got up and climbed my way out of the creek, quickly moving to the open overhang of the physical science building. by the time I got there, I was drenched and so was my cast.

“fuck” I uttered, trying my best to dry it up and avoid the water that slipped through the open slots above me. I didn’t even have a sweater on or anything. my phone buzzed and I slipped it out of my pocket, praying it was jaeju.

Dean: that overhang is open, it’s doing nothing

what? I immediately looked up and around me. I didn’t see anyone but he had to be here, how else would he know?

Dean: can’t see me?

normally I would feel scared by now but it was him, he was playing mind games now so I would go to him and then he’d make me weak and I’d fall into the trap again.

“fuck off” I spat out.

Dean: the more wet your cast gets, the more likely it is that you’ll get a hard one again

“what do you want?!”

Dean: you know where it’s dry? where we used to meet every Tuesday and Thursday after your lab.

that was around the corner of the building. I wasn’t able to see if there was anyone there since I was at the entrance but I knew he was. I looked down at my cast, I managed to keep it pretty dry despite the fact that it was still pouring on me. I refused to go to him so instead, I decided to head to the library on the other side of campus. I put my phone away before holding my arm against my chest and preparing to run across to the next building.

I looked back at the corner of the building before rushing to the building next to it. the sole of my shoe slid against the puddle on the pavement and led me to the mud now formed along the side of the creek. before I was able to slide into the water a familiar set of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I didn’t even have to look to see who it was.

he pulled me away from the mud and as soon as we were on pavement again, I ripped his arms off me.

“why are you here?!” I yelled. I looked up at him and he took his jacket off, putting it over my shoulders and propping the hood up over my head. I saw his eyes, they were glossy, red, and a little puffy. he had been crying too.

“because you’re here” he replied calmly. I was too cold to refuse the jacket that still carried his warmth and scent, the scent that had brought me comfort for so long. that scent alone brought back so many memories, good and bad. a drop hit my cheek but this time it wasn’t the rain. looking at him like this made me lose all my words. I couldn’t talk, all I could do was look at him. he brought his hand up and cupped my cheeks, wiping away the tears that streamed down using his thumb but he kept his hands there. he stepped closer, inching in on the space between us and before I knew it, I felt a set of lips press against mine. my eyes instinctively fluttered shut and for that moment I forgot everything. our lips fit like they were sculpted for one another. his were soft and plump, moving gently and slowly like I was the most delicate thing they had ever touched. our lips created a bridge between us and I felt every emotion pass from his body to mine. despite how upset I was towards him, I reciprocated his actions. the kiss was sweet, so sweet I could taste it. I could stay in this moment forever. for once I felt something I hadn’t felt before. I felt complete.

I brought my hands up to his chest and carefully pushed him back. he was soaked and dripping in water. his lips immediately moved to my forehead, pressing a kiss against it. I felt shivers running up my spine both from the cold and his touch. he circled his arms around me and pulled me against his side as he started walking. before I could even voice myself, he read my mind.

“the car, we’re going to the car because it’s cold and you’ll get sick. I won’t take you anywhere you don’t want me to, in fact we’ll stay in the parking lot. if you want to go home, we will. if not, we’ll spend as long as you want here”

I didn’t argue, allowing myself to be drifted off. part of me felt stupid, like I caught the bait but the other part knew that the kiss wasn’t just a kiss. it felt different from any other kiss to me and I hoped it did to him too.

we sat in silence for a couple of minutes. I knew he was giving me space until I was ready to talk or until he knew I was ready to listen. he reached for my hand and I allowed him to take it, lacing our fingers together. he ran his thumb back and forth against mine before breaking the silence.

“I’m not with her” I didn’t move. “I won’t lie anymore. ever since the day at the emergency room, she hasn’t stopped texting and calling me. I didn’t reply until she started to talk about you. she was watching you for a while and when I found out, there was no way in hell I would allow it to continue. so I gave her what she wanted” oh god, I felt my stomach basically drop to my ass. I didn’t know what was about to come out of his mouth but half of me assumed sex while the other half assumed a relationship.

“I gave her money to leave us alone but mostly to leave you alone. I don’t want her around you, not because I’m afraid she’ll hurt you. I know you can step on her in a second. she’s a toxic person and you’re not. you’re genuine and caring and loving and exactly the opposite of her. what I hid earlier from you when you saw my phone was her texting me that she got the money. nayeon saw us downtown last week because I met up with her to come to that arrangement. I told her I’d give her whatever she wanted and that’s what she chose” I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know how to react. my brows knit together in sadness as I turned to look at him. he had a half pressed smile on his lips and his hair was still dripping water on the seat.

“I’m sorry you had to be the first one to say I love you and I’m sorry it was in the way it was. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and if I’m being completely honest, it scares the shit out of me. you weren’t wrong and you didn’t mistake my gestures. you’re not a toy, you’re my person. and you aren’t the only one who feels twelve. if I could express how I feel when you fall asleep in my arms you would see how childish I feel but there truly aren’t any words for it. I can’t fix your broken wrist but,” he reached into his pocket, pulling out a string of silver with a pendant in the middle. he held it up and my lips curled into a smile. “I can fix your broken necklace…and your broken heart”

he leaned over, circling the necklace around my neck and adjusting the pendant before pressing a gentle peck against my lips. I brought my hand up, tracing his jaw. I had never seen his features this close. his tattoo reached up behind his ear, his eyes sunk in ever so slightly and he had puffy under eyes from the countless nights of staying up studying. his lips were perfectly sized, plump and smooth. he noticed me staring and smiled.

“I love you” he murmured. I looked up into his eyes, they were filled with passion. there was no way he couldn’t see my heart beating out of my chest.

“for once in my life I will take zico’s advice. be mine chaeyeon. let’s make this real. I can’t live without you yelling at me for stupid shit or hitting me when I fuck up on a chemistry problem so stay by my side. I won’t let anyone come near you, I don’t care what I have to do. just, please, be the reactant in my mechanism” up until the last part I was melting. he tried so hard with that science pun that it made me burst in laughter.

“aw fuck, was it that bad?” he asked.

I nodded, sliding my hand down and around his neck.

“so…”

“I’ll think about it” his face fell instantly but he pretended to be okay with it.

“I can work with that!” he exclaimed.

“it’s a yes if you buy me food”

“what do you want? I’ll have a restaurant opened just for you if it’s closed. I’ll buy you the most expensive meal on this planet if you want that”

I was amused by his response. it felt like this was a new dean. he wasn’t afraid to tell my how he felt anymore and I liked it. I was about to reply when I felt my phone buzz in my back pocket. I pulled it out and read the text.

“shit I forgot”

“what is it babe?” that word made my heart skip a beat. he had used it before but the context was different now and I hated that I loved it. I gently squeezed his hand, using my other one to buckle my seatbelt.

“my sister is here”

“your what is where?!”

“…my sister”

“you mean the sister you spoke to earlier, the one who said she would murder me if she ever saw me..” he made me question how long he had been watching over me for.

I nodded, signaling him to drive. he hesitated, tapping his foot and biting his lip. I rolled my eyes and lightly punched his shoulder.

“man up, she won’t kill you” he exhaled a sigh of relief but I could tell he was still nervous.

“I don’t want to, I’m scared”

“you’re such a baby. go on, go home” I pointed at the door to my left. he looked in its direction, debating whether he should take his opportunity to flee.

“no, I’ll meet her. I want to meet her” he uttered. my lips curled into a smile, reaching for his hand. he gladly extended it out for me and intertwined our fingers together. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and opened the door. jisu and my sister, jaeju, were on the couch talking. they had always gotten along really well. the moment they saw me they stood up but their expressions changed when they noticed dean following behind me.

“uh, jaeju, this is dean” my lips formed an awkward smile, hoping she wouldn’t be too hard on him.

“it’s nice to meet you!” dean extended his hand to her but she just looked at him, crossing her arms over her chest. I walked over to the bathroom and quickly brought back a towel, tossing it over dean’s hair and gently drying it off.

“drinks anyone?” jisu attempted to lighten the mood, making her way to the kitchen and pulling out a case of beer from the fridge. she didn’t even like to drink, what the hell was she doing?

I pushed dean toward the couch and took a seat next to him. my sister sat on the other couch, her eyes almost piercing holes through him.

“listen, I know you aren’t very happy about this,” I motioned at dean and I. “and you’re probably confused but I will explain later. since you’re here for the weekend lets plan something and you can get to know everyone”

“who’s everyone?” she asked.

“well there’s crush, christian, zico and of course dean” jisu walked in, handing each of us a bottle of beer.

“oh, I really want to meet zico! from what you tell me, he’s so sassy it’s great” she said as she took a sip of the drink.

“let’s go out tonight!” jisu yelled across the world. I hadn’t gone to a party in a while but I felt like my cast prohibited me from doing so. I turned to look at dean, taking the edge of the towel lying on his shoulders and wiping off the water dripping on his neck.

“what do you think?” I asked.

“I don’t think you should go out while you still have that on your arm babe”

“babe?!” jisu asked. “I fucking knew this would happen, I need confirmation so I can receive my $150”

“…what?” dean asked.

“they all betted…on us being together or whatever. jisu said before the semester ends and I guess now they all owe her $150” dean’s expression was priceless. he looked horrified, offended and happy all at once.

“okay wait what? didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to see him ever again? and why didn’t you tell me about the bet jisu?” jaeju questioned. dean and I stayed silent, avoiding eye contact with jisu or jaeju.

“amazing” jisu said before grabbing a couple of beers and heading out the door.

“where are you going?” I asked.

“to get my money!” I sighed, waving her off.

“can I talk to you chae?” jaeju asked as she stood up, heading to the entertainment room. I got up and dean tugged my hand.

“it’s fine, I’ll explain it all just stay here okay?” he nodded, releasing me. I followed after my sister, closing the door behind me.

“the fuck is happening?”

“okay I know you’re confused so I’ll clear things up”

“please do!”

“while I was waiting for you, it’s a long story but basically dean was there the whole time and he told me everything. he came clean. he paid her to leave us alone, he’s not with her. I feel bad that he felt like he had to do that” jaeju remained unamused. I whined and tugged at her sleeve.

“he confessed his feelings and it made me all giddy inside but I didn’t show it. don’t hate him, he did it with good intentions and I really like him. jaeju,” I pulled her closer before whispering. “we kissed”

“so? you act like you’ve never kissed anyone”

“ok bitch listen up, this wasn’t just a kiss. it was like in the movies. it was raining and you know how they put fireworks or whatever, yeah well that didn’t happen but I did feel, I don’t know. I felt special. this is so fucking cheesy it’s nasty but it felt so…right? I can’t even explain it”

“okay shut up! I get it, stop being gross. fuck it’s so weird to see you being so girly with these feelings. I don’t think you’ve ever been this smitten before” a look of disgust crossed her face and I shoved her shoulder.

“be nice, please. he was really nervous for obvious reasons but he wants to get to know you” she rolled her eyes before giving in.

“fine, fine whatever” I smiled, dragging her out of the room.

jaeju had agreed that she wanted to take advantage of the weekend here to meet everyone. her first mission was a party. everyone had already been at the boy’s place pregaming so we followed after jisu. my sister and dean had talked for a bit and I could tell she had lightened up and I knew she didn’t think badly of him. all she did was put on that persona to scare him and it worked. it was amusing to see dean scared of something so I kept that one to myself, he didn’t have to know that she didn’t hate him.

“ayy! look who finally joined the party!” a drunk christian hollered as we walked in.

“okay shut up ugly ass. first of all, this is my sister, jaeju” I pointed at her and she smiled at everyone.

“take a seat” zico motioned to the couch and my sister sat next to christian. they began drinking and talking. I overheard bits and pieces about anime and dramas. christian was such a big drama nerd but you would never guess it by looking at him.

dean took a seat on the other couch, tugging me onto his lap. immediately the screaming began and I slid off his lap.

“FINALLY” zico yelled, raising his bottle. everyone raised their drinks and crush stood up.

“to the second stupid couple of the day!” he said before they all agreed and drank. I looked at dean confused. he pointed at sochi then at zico.

“you missed it” he said. “I mean I missed it too but he texted me. they got their heads out of their asses finally” he took a drink of the bottle in his hand and set it down on the table, tossing an arm around me and pulling me closer to him. i took a sip of my own drink as I looked at sochi and zico. they looked so different. the black cloud floating over them was gone. I looked around at everyone, having a good time, screaming, laughing, talking, whatever they were doing, they were happy. when I looked back at dean, his gaze was still fixed on me. his lips instantly turned into a smile and I reciprocated it.

“you’re so cute” his cheeks were flushed and that’s how I knew he was drunk. I pressed my lips together as he began playing with my hair. he leaned down, leaning his forehead against mine. I could smell the alcohol radiating from his mouth and I was beginning to get lost in his eyes before being interrupted.

“alright alright, it’s 10pm why are we still here?!” crush howled.

“let’s go!” they all replied. jaeju looked at me, asking for permission. I nodded and she grinned.

“let’s go chae” jisu called. I shook my head and raised my cast to her.

“aw cmon! it’s not the big one anymore, come with us babe!” zico reached out for my hand and I kicked his.

“never mind stay here bye” he said. I laughed and so did dean.

“good job” he said. zico rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys. everyone was heading out, each one trying to pull us out with them. it took a while for them to leave since they were all begging us to go too but we just wanted to be alone tonight. once they left we picked a movie and I laid down, resting my head on dean’s lap. he continued playing with my hair as we watched the movie although he was watching me more than the movie. this was a new feeling. I felt as if nothing had changed but at the same time it felt like everything had changed. his touch was different, his eyes were different, everything was different but in a good way. he leaned down and let his body go limp above me. I groaned and pushed him off, leaning to sit up on the couch. as I was stretching, his arms circled around my waist, tugging me close to him. soon, I felt his plump set of lips against my jaw. the action caught me off guard and I shoved him off a little harder than I intended. his arm hit the edge of the table and he groaned in pain.

“I’m so sorry!! I didn’t mean to!” I reached for his arm and knitted my brows together in guilt. he looked up at me before charging towards me. I ended up pinned against the couch with my arms over my head as he tickled the life out of me. my screams and laughter filled the room and his followed after. I managed to bring my leg up and push his hips, forcing him off me.

“STOP!” I yelled, trying to regain my breath. “try that shit one more time and my foot will go up your ass” his arms flew up in surrender.

“yes ma’am!” he made his way back to the couch as I grabbed the remote, turning off the tv.

“it’s only 11 why are you turning it off” he asked.

“shut up you weren’t even watching”

“yeah I was too busy staring at you” I maintained a blank expression even though inside I felt giddy and childlike. my hand immediately went up, smacking his arm.

“you’re ugly, shut up” I uttered. he just smiled, staring at me for a second. just as I was about to hit him again, he quickly leaned over, planting a quick yet sweet peck against my lips. my eyes widened slightly and he got up running away. I ran after him, following him into his room. I felt like I was a child at the playground chasing her crush around.  

when I entered the bedroom, I didn’t see him. I swear I saw him go in but he was nowhere to be found.

“dean..” I called out. there was no answer so I checked the closet. I swung the door open to the empty closet. as I was about to make my way to the door I felt something grab my foot and I fell to the floor. luckily I landed on something softer than the hardwood floor, dean. he caught me, enveloping his arms around me.

“clumsy”

“clumsy?! you grabbed my foot. where the hell were you even hiding?” I asked.

“I was right here!” his mouth opened to form a wide smile that soon turned into chuckles. I pushed myself off him and climbed onto the bed and under the covers.

“get out of my room” I mumbled. I heard him get up and felt him climb up behind me.

“excuse me this is my room”

“it’s mine now” I felt his arms slither around my waist, pulling my body close to his. his chest was pressed against my back and I could barely feel his heartbeat. I flipped over, pushing him onto his back. my head rested on his chest right over his heart. it was soothing. his arm wrapped around me and mine around his torso. a kiss was pressed upon my head and I hugged tighter.

“you’re right, everything mine is yours now” I slipped my leg between his, tangling them together under the covers.

“hold up, you never bought me food” not even half a second went by before he tried to get up but my hold around him stopped him from doing so.

“let go I have to buy you food right this instant!” he growled.

“shut up you can buy me food tomorrow”

“no, I can’t wait that long. what if you meet someone before I buy you food? I can’t risk that shit chae, lets go” once again, he tried to get up but I clung around him.

“dean stoooop” I whined, tightening my hold.

“this is a matter of life and death” he sounded so serious but I couldn’t help but laugh. he stayed quiet and I stopped laughing when I looked up at him. he was actually serious.

“I’m being serious. I don’t want to wait anymore. I don’t want what happened today to happen again because I’m not being clear about my feelings. I know we’re never serious but I love you and you know that and-“ I cut him off by leaning up to press my lips against his.

“you talk a lot and worry a lot. you want a clear answer though and that’s fair because that’s what I wanted from you and you gave it to me. so I’ll give you one too. yes.” he just stared at me in confusion for a second before realized what I meant. his eyes lit up and his lips curled to form that smile that warmed me up on the coldest days. his body relaxed again and he scooted closer, returning to our position. my head rested on his chest as my finger traced random shapes on it. yet again, he pressed a kiss on my head, uttering a ‘thank you’.

“chaeyeon my girlfriend” I heard him whisper to himself.

“what?” I looked up at him, amused by his joy.

“nothing babe” he smiled. we remained in each other’s embrace for a while eventually drifting off to sleep.

“christian hurry up bro” dean yelled from the door.

“I’m fucking hungry, go without him” jaeju commented from the couch.

“no no I’m here lets go” I threw a piece of popcorn at dean and another at christian.

“we’ll be back with the food, tell everyone to be here in 10 minutes” dean leaned down to press a peck on my lips before he exited the door.

“nasty” jaeju said. I grabbed a kernel, throwing it at her.

“shut up you hooked up with his friend”

“ONCE. shut up bitch” she raised her hand to smack the side of my exposed thigh. I winced, kicking her.

I picked up my phone, texting our group chat.

Chaeyeon: food in 10 bitchez

Zico: be home in 5 min with sochi

Nayeon: coming

Jisu: nayeon wait for me

last night, when dean and I stayed home and everyone went out, they all came back drunk as fuck. we chose to ignore the noise and continue sleeping but christian’s room is above dean’s and we heard, well stuff. it wasn’t until the next morning that I saw my sister coming downstairs that I figured it out. the walk of shame.

I had kicked dean out of his own room and dragged jaeju inside, forcing her to tell me everything. she hooked up with christian that night and slept over but she slipped out of bed before he could wake up. surprisingly, I was more amused with the situation than anything else.

               “do you like him omg”

               “what? no it was just…in the moment”

               “okay but you have to admit he’s hot as fuck”

               “okay maybe a little”

“a little?! bitch he’s gorgeous. his tattoos make him even hotter. damn I’m a little jealous now”

               “what?! you have dean fuck off”

               “defensive, nice. you like him”

               “chaeyeon shut the fuck up”

               “yes master”

               “god you’re annoying. so…what’s his type”

“ahh! okay he’s very sweet and quiet just like you except for the sweet part. he’s also very affectionate but I’m sure you already found THAT out” she hit my shoulder.

“well, he was. but it would never work out between us, I live really far away”

“so?! if you think about it that’s a good thing. you leave tomorrow night so just get to know him more. I’ve only seen him hook up with girls but from what dean’s told me, when he likes someone you can tell right away. if he likes you he’ll keep in touch but for now just have fun” she rolled her eyes, groaning.

“why did I even come, you’re fine”

“shut up bitch you got dicked down hahaha”

“I fucking hate you”

what a liar. she took my advice and later that day christian texted her. they had gone out bowling in the afternoon and now we were both on the couch waiting for dean and christian to bring home dinner. sochi and zico had been out since the morning and nayeon and jisu had been in the library studying. crush never came home but zico said he went to some girl’s place.

nayeon and jisu walked in a couple minutes after the guys left. nayeon didn’t even hesitate before making her way to the kitchen. we were all comfortable here despite the fact that none of us actually lived here.

“what are they bringing?” she asked.

“korean food for once, I’m craving ddeokboki”

“nice” jisu said as she took the control from my hand, flipping through the channels and taking a seat on the other couch. I threw a pillow at her and she caught it. jaeju sat up, grabbing her phone.

“it’s been like 20 minutes where are they” I checked my phone too. dean hadn’t texted back since they left.

“maybe the food’s just taking a while” nayeon hollered from the kitchen. I called dean but it went straight to voicemail. I got a horrifying feeling in the pit of my stomach but I convinced myself that it was just me overthinking things.

“I’m sure they’ll be home soon, someone text zico and ask if he’s on his way” I said.

“he’s said they’re pulling up right now” jisu replied. I looked at my phone again, texting dean.

Chayeon: are you on your way home? (4:45)

Chaeyeon: deeeaaannn (4:51)

Chaeyeon: dean answer (4: 52)

Chaeyeon: where are you (5:01)

I tried calling again but I was sent straight to voicemail for the second time. zico and sochi walked it. sochi went straight to the bathroom and zico took a seat next to me on the couch.

“sorry we’re a little late, are they coming?” he asked.

“yeah I think it’s just taking a while for the food”

“did you call him?”

“yeah” he read my expression in a heartbeat.

“let me try” he pulled his phone out, dialing the familiar digits. I could barely hear but, I heard the voicemail message. now I was about 2 seconds from freaking out. this wasn’t like him.

“don’t worry I’ll call christian” yet again, he dialed and the same message ringed in my ears. zico’s arm wrapped around me and he rubbed my shoulder.

“hey they’re fine, they probably just don’t have signal. it’s only been half an hour and bad news travels fast okay?” his lips pressed against my forehead and I nodded, fiddling with my phone in my hands. I tried to keep my mind away from bad thoughts by watching tv but I couldn’t do it.

10 minutes passed then 20 then 30. they had been gone for over an hour but zico kept reassuring me that I was overthinking the situation. my phone started vibrating in my hands but the number was private. I didn’t even think before answering.

“hello?”

“is this park chaeyeon?”

“yes, who is this?”

“I’m with mercy west trauma center. a young man and his friend have been in a car accident and this was the number I was given as a primary emergency contact. unfortunately, neither one made it. I’m sorry for your loss. we did everything we could. we understand that is going to be a tough time for-” he kept talking but I couldn’t recognize any words, it was like everything around me went silent. I couldn’t breathe and I felt the tears building up in my eyes. it felt like everything was happening so slowly and quickly at the same time. everyone was circling around me but I couldn’t hear any of them. I dropped my phone and pushed everyone away from me, sprinting out the door.

[never-wrote]

Endless-ch1

(AN: unedited)

(It was supposed to be a virtual reality game, not a life sentence.)

Chapter One

I can be bought for 50$ and a meal

I was: Poor, tired, angry, hungry, and frustrated.

I wanted: money, food, and a comfortable bed.

All in that order. If I didn't have such a strict sense of honour, I would have stolen every bit of coin from the cash box ages ago. I growled and slammed the safe door shut, and twirled the dial lock furiously, preventing any of my darker thoughts from being acted on. Another night shift done, another shift where I succeeded in not murdering every customer who walked into the store, and another day's pay in the bank. Now to greet the morning sun before heading to sleep for the next eight hours, then up again to start my next job at the Marketplace downtown, after which, yet another night shift here. I was starting to regret taking the night shifts from my co-worker, you got the scariest customers at night time, and the shifts took forever to complete.

It was spitting rain outside– there will no sun greeting I guess– rather then getting my hair wet– which would require a shower when I got home, I chose to walk through the connecting mall to the MagRail located on the first floor of the above ground parking lot. The mall shops were just beginning to open so I waved to a couple familiar faces as I passed them by, intent on my destination.

“Finished work for the night?” An older man asked, it was John, I cringed inside. He was the guy who was real sweet on me, always stopping me to chat or pat me on the shoulder, he had asked me out for more coffee dates then any other guy I had met combined, he was also old enough to be my father. I waved to him in short greeting, before pulling out my phone, I was pretending to be busy. If I looked busy, he typically left me to my own business. Don't get me wrong, John was a really nice guy, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, brushing off every rejection with a small laugh and a change of date. I almost wished he was an asshole so I could just give him the middle finger and be done with it.

I hurried past him guiltily, apologizing to him mentally when I saw his crestfallen expression out of the corner of my eye. I hated myself just a little bit more for feeling guilty.

I took the escalator down to the second floor where a couple tables were being set up for a new product showing. From the looks of it, something high tech relating to games, Derrick, the youngest manager of Games-For-You, was speaking with a small Asian woman while pointing to the small black stage in the centre. He looked upset. He looked up and saw me, eye contact was made and a huge grin spread over his face.

“Marina! Marina get over here! Thank God, you're still here!” He bellowed out, waving his arms in the air, reminiscent of a drowning man in the middle of the ocean. “Thank God.” He said again as I walked up to him, “I need a huge favour, do it and I'll give you fifty dollars cash and breakfast, or lunch, is on me.”

“I'm yours,” I said blandly, careful not to show my excitement at the prospect of a free meal and quick cash for my empty wallet. Derrick was an old friend from Jr. High School, he had helped me out a couple of times when I needed extra cash or a quick job, he had never led me astray before, I trusted him. He was the type of guy who knew everyone and anybody and from what I had heard from others, could get you anything from hookers to drugs, to the latest out of stock phone, all within a reasonable amount of time.

“She's perfect for this, trust me!” He grabbed my hand, “Trust me!” He yelled to the Asian woman, who, from the looks of it, was ready to throw her clipboard at his head as he tugged me behind a black screen. “Okay, Mina, I have this huge favour, like if you don't come through, I might loose my job, kind of favour.”

“Derrick, I already said I'm yours. Just tell me what you need” I said. I would never tell him this– I'm poor dammit– but even without the offer of money, I owed him a lot. I would have been honour bound to do whatever this job was, for free– had he asked. He paused, then grinned widely showing every one of his perfect white teeth.

“I knew I fucking loved you.” He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out two twenties and a ten and handed them to me. I slipped them into my backpack, and then gave him a mock salute. “Jamie, the fucking whore, did a night of coke last night with her druggie boyfriend. Which means she can't do the job I was going to pay her for.” Jamie, was one of his store clerks who was hired for her large breasts and surprisingly amazing knowledge of console games, she was also a bit of an idiot when it came to her choice of boyfriends. I knew her well enough from odd jobs at the clubs, but not well enough to pass judgment on her lifestyle choices, which from the mall rumour mill, had been rapidly declining. I nodded understandingly, although not really, Jamie may have done coke all night, but that had never stopped her from working her shifts before. “Tech Corp is here showing off the new 3D gaming headset. They need a model to show off its features and plug in to the demo game. All you have to do is enter the virtual world, walk around, look around, and show how fucking amazing the programmers are.”

“Uh, Derrick, this may come as a shock to you,” I said dryly, “but I'm a PC gamer, not a Virtual.” Virtual gaming may have come a long way from its early days in the 2010's, but it was just a console game with dual screens and shitty controls. In other words, it was horribly overpriced and I could never afford a headset.

“I know, I know! But the Asian lady said no drugs! Apparently the game might send the person into a seizures or something. I would do it myself, but I've gotta schmooze the customers.” He gave me a flirtatious wink and hip bump. “And I smoked a fuck ton of weed before my shift today.”

“Ah, so in other words, I'm the only drug free friend you have in the mall, and I can be bought with 50$ and a meal huh?” I asked questionably, both eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“Exactly babe. And you can't say no either, you already said you're my bitch. And as my bitch, I demand you go put that clunky thing on your head and make it beautiful for me.” I gave him my biggest fake smile and curtsied.  

“Your wish is my command, mi'lord.” I said, pivoting on my heel to strut around the black curtain, once I was out in the open, I began to walk normally until I stood in front of the stern looking woman. “I'm here to model in place of Jamie.” I politely murmured, immediately switching to my customer service mode.

“You need to be 21, clean of any drugs that effect the brain, legal or illegal, and you are required to sign this waiver and terms of use contract.” She snapped at me handing me her clipboard and a fine ball point pen. “Signing the waiver means you agree to have your game play viewed by an audience and you know the health risks, if you are under the influence of any drugs, legal or illegal, may result in a severe seizures and we will not to be held responsible for it. Furthermore, that you understand that any headache or ocular migraine you receive from our technology is at your own risk and expense.”

I glanced through the paperwork, everything looked normal and standard, I handed her my government identification while I took her pen. I scribbled my signature at the bottom of the five pages where indicated. She handed me my card back after taking a photo of it with her phone and took her pen back.

“Excellent. Tech Corp is an innovative company for the betterment of virtual reality gaming, and training software. We are new to this highly competitive market, but we intend to dominate it, you are taking part in a live demonstration of our latest headgear and virtual world design. It is still a work in progress, therefore some of the texture packs or social features are not yet available and you may run into a glitch or two, please ignore these for the sake of the demonstration. Our CEO, Mr. Richard Smith, wishes to have a world wide demonstration, at 10am, your time, despite the incomplete software.”

She brought me up to the small black stage where a standard office chair was located in the centre. She left me standing by the chair as she swiped a sensor key at a large steel box suitcase, located just off to the right of the stage, a small beep and click notified everyone in the vicinity that it was now safe to open. I craned my head in interest as she opened it with her back to me, I wondered what type of high tech gear she was about to pull out, virtual technology was constantly changing with newer improved virtual graphics, software, and equipment, I could only guess what would come from this new innovative company. I held my breath as she turned around, in her hands was a large clunky black motorcycle helmet with its packaging foam sheets still wrapped around it. I stared in disbelief. To my knowledge, even the earliest VR equipment didn't come in helmet form, the latest VR was a set of goggle glasses with ear pieces and finger gloves, if Tech Corp was looking to decimate their competition, then they weren't even on the right timeline to even begin. Distracted by the rather disappointing helmet, I nearly missed her pulling out a long thick black cord. I cringed, I thought wired connections died off when I was born, apparently not, because she plugged it into something on the inside of the helmet.

“Hold this, while I grab the hand controllers.” She said as she dropped the beast of a helmet onto my lap. I continued to stare down at the helmet and my reflection on the shiny plastic, I was waiting for her to suddenly break into laughter and tell me it was all a joke. She didn't. In fact she just turned back around and walked up to the suitcase to begin rumaging around the packaging foam, looking for the controllers– not gloves, controllers, more ancient technology.

I looked back down at the dinosaur on my lap, it must have weighed at least 5 pounds if not more. I glanced up from the beast on my lap to where Derrick was chatting with an onlooker and caught his eye. I pointed down at the heavy piece of equipment, and made an exaggerated expression of horror, he shrugged and turned his back on me. What the fuck, man, innovative technology my ass, I mentally thought towards him. I swallowed my judgment however at the memory of a free meal and the fifty dollars in my wallet.

I stifled a yawn as I watched the slowly growing Saturday morning shopping crowd, which I wouldn't admit was making me slightly nervous with their slowly rising numbers. Thankfully, my lack of sleep from my eight hour night shift at the grocery store, and my previous six hour shift at the market, didn't leave me with enough energy to be affected by my sudden bout of stage fright. Besides, I thought, holding in yet another yawn, I wouldn't be able to see the crowd once I put the helmet on.

“Here are the hand controls, this is your left hand, this is your right.” I glanced down at the two black hand pieces with buttons and joysticks, no wires to get tangled in thankfully, and strapped them onto my wrists while resting the heavy helmet on my lap. She was lucky I was a PC gamer, I was pretty sure VR gamers had no idea what a button or joystick was anymore. Spoiled rich bastards. “Your log on is username Vancouver001, password Cosmos. When you are given access to the virtual reality world, please do not wander far from your load area, we haven't uploaded all of the textures in your general vicinity. Depending on how fast you load into the game, I might be able to give you a couple minutes to familiarize yourself with the controls before 10am comes around, at which point the demo will begin. At 10am I will begin guiding you through the city on a scenic tour and display of our technology. Do you understand?” She asked, picking up the helmet.

“Yes ma'am.” I said with a firm nod toward her. She handed me the helmet, I let go of the twin hand controllers and let the tied straps around my wrists catch them. The interior of the helmet had a bunch of small white dots in a grid pattern around the head casing, each dot was connected with small tiny white wires, there was no soft padding on the inside. The black reflective visor, or rather what I assumed was the dual screens, was in the down position, once I put the helmet on, my face would be completely hidden. Again, none of this looked new or innovative, I didn't hold much hope for this new upstart company. “How long have you been working for Tech Corp?” I asked as I settled the clunky helmet on, it weighed a ton, I lifted the visor so I could see what was going on around me.

“I was hired on last week for the purpose of this demonstration.” She said. She walked behind me and gave the cord a little tug, I heard a small pop and something in the helmet dropped down on my head, it felt like a heavy net of some sort.

“I think something disconnected in the helmet.” I said, rolling my head around as I felt something dig into where my neck met my skull, the helmet rocked freely on my head like an old bobble toy. “Like the interior or something.”

“Everything looks fine on my end,” The woman said glancing down at the tablet in her hands as she came to stand in front of me. She looked up and leaned forward to peer around the edges of the helmet, “The connection seems fine” She tucked the tablet under her arm as she touched something on the helmet where my temples were, I felt another small sharp pressure poke me, the visor dropped down. “Any questions or comments before I turn it on?”

“Yeah, first, this helmet seriously needs some head padding, and what's your name?” I asked. Turning my head blindly to where she stood last, I couldn't see anything through the visor.

“Nancy Yin” She said after a long pause. “Ready in, 5...4...3...2...1”

My visor turned on, showing a small, extremely pixelated, information box asking for my log on information. I was forced into using a variety of arm gestures and fancy thumb movements with the joystick to move the cursor around on the screen, and to make things even more needlessly complicated, to punch in the letters I had to blindly press one of the four buttons on my left controller. I sighed in relief as I successfully typed everything in, I clicked the 'okay' button. Another box popped up asking for a character name. I sighed in frustration and once again struggled with the stupid keyboard and controls. For lack of creativity and time, I used my current mmorpg name.

'Bleu'

It accept on the first name attempt.

This was going to be a long day, on top of my already long ass day.

The loading bar appeared along with a count down clock, with two minutes remaining, in the upper right corner of my vision. Behind the loading bar was a rather crappy rendering of an empty city street ,with a dozen square buildings lining it, this was first generation 3D quality graphics. I wrinkled my nose in disappointment, I had at least expected some decent graphics out of the software. I rocked the helmet forward again as the pointy object dug in a little bit more at my neck, instead the entire helmet dropped forward nearly falling off, shaking my vision in the 3D world. They should probably have a chin strap on the helmet for safety reasons, you could break a foot with this thing if it dropped off you head.

“Marina,” I turned my head toward Nancy's voice, which really just changed my view of the bland city street, “Please stand up in preparation for the demo.” I didn't want to stand up, but I did anyways.

The the loading bar showed 51% completion, considering the crappy graphics I didn't know what was taking so long, my phone could load this faster. In the background I could hear a voice, not Nancy's, speaking to the crowd.

“Tech Corp.” The voice said, something must have been playing on the screens because people were making small noises of appreciation. “Revolutionizing virtual reality software and technology. Our state of the art facilities...”

I held back my snort of disbelief. Yeah, this was revolutionary, I thought as I looked at the High School level graphics software surrounding me, sort of disappointing really. I cracked my neck from the strain of holding up the helmet, and in another futile attempt to get away from the pointy object. Loading bar at 68%, I was getting a headache from looking at the bright unchanged, textureless, graphics shown behind the loading bar. I tired to move one of the joysticks being held by my right hand, but nothing moved on screen, instead I turned my head, carefully so the helmet would move with me, to look at the building closest to me. It was slate grey with small holes in the smooth walls to denote windows, and one large one for a door, no details, or any sort of defining features to separate this building from any of the others on this empty street. The loading bar was at 98% I prepared to load in, hopefully it would look better after the loading bar completed. I felt embarrassed for the artists and programmers at Tech Corp, they really weren't ready for this game play demonstration.

“Today, we are making history. Today, we are revolutionizing the industry! Today is the birth of a new world. Today is the dawn of Cosmos, the first ever fully immersive gaming experience.” The man's voice announced dramatically.

Wait... what?

The count down beeped its completion right as the loading bar finished at 100%.

The screen went black.

“Welcome to Cosmos, I will be your temporary guide through the set up of your character profile and tutorial, Bleu.” A pleasant masculine voice announced from within the surrounding darkness. I lifted my hands to adjust the helmet, I must of flipped it around my head so my eyes were on the interior and not the visor, which is when I realized I didn't have arms. I  couldn't feel my arms or hands. Actually, know that I thought of it, I couldn't feel anything.

“Uh?...” I said, shocking myself, I honestly didn't think I had a voice either, I coughed to clear my apparently nonexistent vocal cords “Sorry? But I think I have a wee little problem.” I announced to the pleasant man.

“No need to apologies, Bleu. Please be more specific as to the nature of this problem.” He calmly stated.

“I don't seem to be able to move, nor can I see anything.” I said calmly, panic doesn't solve anything, never has never will... “Did I fall asleep... am I dreaming?”

“As you do not currently have a body, it would by quite natural not to be able to visibly see, hear, sense, or feel anything. You are also, to my currently knowledge, not currently sleeping or dreaming, Bleu.” He stated. “Am I boring you?”

“How do I get a body? And no, no you are being awfully helpful, thank you” I was pretty sure I was dreaming, and at some point, a very angry Asian woman was going to be yelling at me and Derrick was going to take his fifty dollars back.

“You are most welcome, Bleu, I am glad to be of assistance. We are currently in the character design and profile of Cosmos. You are allowed only one avatar, once we have created your avatar, you will be uploaded to the game servers. You will not be able to return to this room once we are finished. Please be aware, that besides cosmetic changes, your avatar will be permanent and will be used to represent you.” He stated.

“Okay. How do we make an avatar?” I asked humouring the dream voice.

“I will begin with your current representation of yourself.” The voice said, out of the darkness a hairless woman's body appeared, completely naked. I turned beat red and tried to look away, lacking a body myself, this was impossible. I was forced to stare at her, which is how I realized it was me. How the Hell did they get the colour of my nipples right? I was slightly– no I was disturbed, I should ask my co-worker if she would be willing to take some of those shifts back this week, clearly it was starting to have a deep psychological impact. “Is this an accurate representation of yourself?”

“Uh, besides being completely hairless, and.... naked. Disturbingly enough, yes, this is a perfect representation of myself.” I looked down the alien smoothness of my body's legs in appreciation, razors cost money, money I couldn't afford to spend on luxury goods, I hadn't shaved in over a month. Oh god, I froze my thoughts as realization struck me, I was admiring my naked body. Again I tried to look away, and again, my lack of body made this impossible.

“Clothing and a beginners package will be gifted to you once you are uploaded to the servers. Is there anything you wish to change with your avatars appearance?” My naked body began to turn on an imaginary pedestal before my– awareness? Consciousness?

“Yeah, could I get hair... I mean hair on my head, and eyebrows. I would like eyebrows. Please?” I asked looking at the blank expression on my face. “And my eyes are brown, like dark brown, and eye lashes, eye lashes are good too. And if I may, could I have a darker skin tone? Oh and I have freckles, like all over the face. My dad's Spanish, my mom's Irish. ” I said, as way of explanation for the odd request.

“Is it safe for me to assume your hair colour is brown, to match your eyes, Bleu?” The voice asked as the changes occurred as I requested them.

“No, sorry. Got my blonde curly mess from mom. Dirty blonde, not that pretty white blonde all the girls gush about.” I replied, apologetically as my gorgeous brown locks disappeared to make way for the blonde curls. Oh, he made the curls tame and pretty, how sweet of him.

“No need to apologies, Bleu, it was an error on my part. I apologies, I do not know what all the girls 'gush' about, Bleu. Is this an accurate representation of yourself?”

“No problems, sir. Well, my hair is normally more frizzy, but I totally love those curls! And I'm a bit more on the anorexic side.” I paused, “Not on purpose! I totally love food! But you know, foods expensive and a girls gotta pay the bills to have a roof over her head!” My weight was a sore spot, there have been many nights in the past, and probably in the future, where I went to bed hungry just to pay the rent.

“I am glad you are enjoying my style choices, Bleu, I want you to be happy in your avatar. The current weight portrayed here is the lowest possible, any less and your game play will be affected. Please be sure to eat three full balanced meals every day to ensure your health meter does not become affected. It is also highly recommend that you drink at least 8 glasses of water a day to stay optimally hydrated.” The voice said sternly, “I will ensure you receive an extra food and water ration with your beginners package, Bleu, please take care of your health.” There was a long pause, “Is this an accurate representation of yourself, Bleu?”

“Could I get some hair on my... vagina. It's a little bare for my liking.” The change happened, had I had I been inhabiting the avatar right in front of me, my cheeks would be bright red by now. “Yeah, that's close enough to the real thing. That's me.”

“That is wonderful to hear, Bleu. We are now entering into the instructional tutorial. Please stand by.” My body disappeared, leaving me in darkness.

I let out a startled gasp as I felt the painful, yet ticklish, sensation of pins and needles all over my body, I looked down at my naked avatar. Well hot damn. I stopped to stare at my naked breasts for a couple of seconds in wonder, I lifting one of my right hands and poked at the left one. It moved, I felt it move, it felt real. “Oooookay...” I said out loud feeling the soft vibrations from my voice. This was weird, I pinched myself on my stomach, it hurt. What kind of fucked up, weird ass, dream was this?

“Hello, Bleu, and thank you for waiting.” The voice said from the darkness, “ I am now going to move us to an open grass field to begin the game play tutorial. Please close your eyes so as not to be blinded my the sunlight upon our arrival.” Confused, I did as directed. A startlingly bright light appeared causing my entire body to jerk back, the previous darkness was now replaced with the warm red glow from blood vessels in my eyelids. Furthermore, I could feel a soft warm breeze brushing against my naked flesh, and the cool grass under my feet. This was getting really weird and detailed. Who would have thought my imagination was this good. “While your eyes are closed, it would be most productive of your time to access your character profile. To do this, you need only keep them closed for 30 seconds, while mentally voicing your request. Please be warned that this will not pause game play and should only be done when you are in a safe location”

So far the voice had been awfully nice and reasonable, so I did as instructed. A purple pop up menu appeared, my eyes shot open in startled wonder only to be blinded by the bright sunlight. Crying out at the sudden pain, I curled in on myself, kneeling on the ground while I rubbed my eyes frantically. I opened them, blinking to clear my blurry vision of the dark spots, all I could see was green. I inhaled through my nose, I could smell the warm grass and dirt, inches away from my face, I leaned back a bit and stared, in shock, as the realistic looking grass came into focus a couple of centimetres from my face. In wonder my right hand came forward and plucked a stem from the ground, rolling it between my forefinger and thumb, without thinking I shoved it into my mouth and chewed. Tasted like grass.

“Bleu, are you hungry?” The voice asked, I could hear his concern at my sudden actions, my face heated up in embarrassment, I don't know why I ate the grass, but I did.  

“Uh, yeah, I am hungry, but it's all okay.” I laughed nervously as I sat on my folded legs, brushing my fingers through the grass in amazement. Was this all a highly advanced game? This was entirely too realistic to be anything but real life, however, questions arise in regards to the teleportation and general insanity of it all. 'Today is the dawn of Cosmos, the first ever fully immersive gaming experience...' No way, that was impossible. The technology didn't exist, it wasn't even close. I may not be a VR gamer, but I did follow the technology enough to have a general idea on how it worked. VR games didn't come with taste, smell, or the current sense of touch this 'game' was portraying. It was impossible.  

“Bleu, may I recommend that you not eat grass in the future? The high cellulose content found in the common grass strain is hard for humans to digest, therefore having no true nutritional value. Consumption is not recommended. If you are suffering from Pica, a condition in which you crave the consumption of non-food items, this may be signs of malnutrition. Please consult a healer when you are uploaded onto the server.” The voice said, distracting me from my thoughts “In the meantime, please attempt to load your character profile so I might lead you through it. I will attempt to do this swiftly so that you might sate your hunger when we are finished.”

“Yeah, thanks, I don't suffer from... Pika? I just ate the grass too.... you know what, never mind.” I closed my eyes and thought of the pop up menu, just like its name, it popped up. Keeping my eyes

closed I announced to the space around me, “Menu is open.”  

It was a standard character profile menu. The left corner had a picture of myself, a picture that looked an awful lot like my government identification photo, complete with original frizzy curls and the odd unforgiving freckles dotting my face. Above my picture was my real name in faded grey, Marina Callaghan-Castro, below my picture was my gaming name, Bleu, in bright white, and under that was my birth date and age, also in grey, along with my current game level in white, which showed a big fat zero. The rest was just a large blank purple screen

“What's with all this information?” I asked the voice.

“All information in grey, including your personal profile image, is only viewable to yourself, your marital partner, and in some case, should they have a high enough level, a healer. As you advance through Cosmos, the menu will change in accordance to your needs. Once you are uploaded onto the game servers, other menu options will become available. This information will include such things as your game alignment, current affiliation, fame, infamy, guild, job class, and more will be shown.” As the voice stated this, parts of the column under my picture began to fill in with grey information. “Focusing on any part of the menu for more then 5 seconds, will open the secondary menu to the right of your picture column.” Another column appeared next to my picture, “This is your in depth profile showing your current health level, power level, and stamina. Unless someone is a healer, has high empathy levels, or are affiliated with you in some way, these will remain hidden.”

“Okay. This seems really in depth for  a game.” I said under my breath looking at all the greyed out information. “So, Cosmos has class features? Like jobs and stuff that earn you money?”

“Cosmos has a vast array of jobs available for all players in a variety of different fields. Some jobs require less skills than others, while others require Apprenticeship documents or Master documents, it is important that you speak with the individual hiring you, to be certain you are best suited to the aforementioned career choice.” The voice carried on, “Job's will earn you some coin, depending on your skills, this coin varies, you must speak and negotiate with the hiring party about how much you will earn. You may also earn money by looking at the market boards, located in all towns and communities, or speaking with towns people for quests.” He stopped speaking and nothing was moving on the menu so I opened my eyes to the bright sunlit meadow.

“Okay, is there a help menu I can use once this tutorial is done?” I asked, I knew I was going to forget half of what he told me the minute I was 'uploaded', not that it mattered much, the demo I was taking part in was only supposed to last about an hour or so. If this was a game, and not some sort of psychotic breakdown or really weirdly detailed dream. I didn't want to think to much into the entire thing. Go with the flow.

“No, Bleu. I am sorry. You may ask any of the NPC's for assistance in any normal world features. Inquiring about anything game related will be met with confusion. I will upload you with extra food and water rations, and a couple extra coins so you might be comfortable. It has been most enjoyable interacting with you. I wish you the best in game play.” He stated. There was a hesitation before he started up again,“Before I upload you, there are a couple things I should tell you, dying within the game will kill your avatar, ending your life and Zero Gates are guarded by the most powerful of bosses. Please use caution, Bleu.”

“Thank you. What is your name? I forgot to ask, sorry.” I asked looking around nervously, was I going to teleport again, or did I need to walk around naked to find a door or something.

“I have no name, but you may call me, Cosmos, Bleu. Good luck.”

The world faded to black.

I awoke? Opened my eyes? Appeared with my eyes open, and a horrible sensation of pins and needles again in a forest, naked, with a bag at my feet. That might be more accurate. I looked down at said bag. Damn this game felt real.

“Jesus fuck, are you fucking kidding me! What does a guy need to do around here get some fucking information!” A very much– not– pleasant mans voice yelled from directly behind me. I turned my head around and froze. Naked man at 6 o'clock. Not cool. Did not want to see a naked man while I was this tired.

“Hey, do me a favour and don't turn around, would you.” I asked turning my head back around to mind my own business. I knelt down carefully, no need to do a peep show, so I could open the large canvas bag to inspect the contents for the promised clothing. They were right on top, a heavy rough undyed linen tunic, a strip of corded leather to act as a belt, and a pair of heavily patched leather trousers, perfect. Standard beginners clothing.

“Uh, sorry. Thought I was alone here.” The naked man said from behind me. “Names... uh, Massive Eclipse.”

“There should be clothes in your bag” I said in reply, I was stumbling on one foot with the trousers, leather was really hard to put on, “Name's Bleu.”

“Nice to meet you, Bleu, I would shake your hand but...” He trailed off as he opened his own bag. I could hear him rummaging though it loudly.

“Yeah, same here.” I finally pulled the leather trousers up– guess I was going commando, I thought as I looked in the bag again, and apparently I was going braless and shoeless. Hopefully I wouldn't be doing much running.

“Uh, can I turn around now?” Eclipse asked, I was just pulling on the stiff linen tunic so I hummed my agreement. Not that it mattered, he had turned around anyways– what was the point of asking for permission if you were going to turn around anyways? “So, crazy game interface huh. If I didn't know better, I would say I was dreaming or got knocked out and dragged off to the middle of nowhere.”  

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” I said as I picked up my bag and swung it onto my shoulders. We were in what looked like a very old forest, “Where do you think we should go from here? I didn't see any map in my bag.” I asked, looking at my... would he be a partner? Fellow stranded gamer?

“I was told to walk around a town, not a forest...” He said looking around at all the greenery. The forest was quiet, all you could hear was wind rustling through the leaves and tree trunks creaking. “Have ever seen trees this big before?”

“I live in British Columbia, big trees like these can be found in the park behind my apartment building.” I answered, I rubbed my hand against one of the largest trees in our little clearing, feeling the rough texture and grooves. Looking up I could just see the blue sky and sunlight peeping through the branches and leaves. Had I not just spent fifteen to twenty minutes working my way through a weird tutorial and character design, I might have believed I was just dropped off in a forest somewhere.

I closed my eyes, willing the character menu to appear. I needed to check to make sure that wasn't exactly what this was. A purple menu popped up. My heart skipped a beat. My picture was the exact same, but now there was a bright white tab right under it, I focused on it, my picture was replaced with my character image from the design process. Okay, I opened my eyes and took a calming breath. Okay, I am not going to start freaking out. I swallowed.

“Hey, you okay?” The man, Eclipse– I refused to call him Massive Eclipse– asked, he looked on worryingly, “You look awfully pale.”

“Uh, I just checked to make sure I was still in a game. Sorry.” I knelt down and pulled my bag onto my lap, I needed water, or food. “I also haven't slept in awhile so it's all just a little much.”

“Right, the menu thing.” He paused as he closed his eyes, I assumed it was to check his own character menu, “that's so fucked up.”

I nodded in agreement, only to realize that with his eyes closed he couldn't see, so I grunted out my agreement. I opened the bag and looked inside to see a couple of fruit, a small leather sack, and two large water bottles made of– I flicked my finger against the tall clear corked bottle– crystal? Weird. I uncorked one and took a swig, it was icy cold spring water. I sighed in relief as my thirst was quenched and corked the heavy bottle again in satisfaction, at this point, I wasn't going to think about how a virtual drink just satisfied my thirst. I reached into the bag and pulled a single apple and the leather purse out and carefully repacked the rest insuring the heavy crystal was at the bottom.

“Okay, I feel a bit better now.” I stood up from my knelt position and swung the bag over one shoulder. I opened the leather sack, which I had rightly assumed was my money purse, and saw ten silver coins. I pulled one out to inspect it. The coin had a profile of what looked like some sort of king or emperor on it, strong roman nose, stern expression, and a big fancy crown on top of his head.

“What's that?” Eclipse asked opening his eyes from his menu inspection, he was a lot taller then me so he had to hunch his upper body down to look at the coin closer. While he looked at the coin, I looked at him. Tall, tanned skin, well very built– I should know as I had seen his naked ass, thick brown hair and bright blue eyes, complete with a chiselled jaw line and dimpled chin. He pulled back from his inspection to riffle through his own bag, pulling out the same leather purse. “I've got six silver, how about you?”

“I've got ten silver,” I shook my head as I held up the purse. I remembered the voice, Cosmos, mentioning extra food and water rations along with a little extra coin. “How many food and water rations do you have?”

“Uh,” He looked back into his bag, “I have a small sack of dried fruits and nuts, a corked bottle of water, and an apple. Why do you have extra coin? Do you need some food or water?” He held up his bag in offering, “There's no telling when we'll find a town.”

“No, I'm okay. I have two apples, two plums, and a very large grapefruit, along with two bottles of water.” I said, “The voice in the tutorial said he was going to give me extra food and water rations, and couple extra coins.”

“Seriously? The guy was a complete jackass to me. We ended up in a yelling match–“ At my raised eyebrow he suddenly blushed, “Okay, so I was yelling at him and he was being all pleasant and shit about not answering my questions. Sadistic bastard. What did he expect? I didn't have a fucking body! And when we finally got around to designing my dream body, he just reverted it to–“ He waved his hand up and down himself, “My original looks. What was the point of spending all that time designing something, if your just going to make me ordinary?” He rolled his eyes in frustration, “and lets not even start on that farce of a tutorial. 'Close your eyes for thirty seconds while willing a menu to appear... oh look our time is up, so sorry, Massive Eclipse, good luck playing the game.' and BAM!” He clapped his hands together for added effect, “I end up here.”

“That's definitely not how it went down for me.” I said with an amused smile, I had to hold back my laughter at his exaggerated hand gestures and rapidly changing facial expressions, “I designed my body exactly as I normally look, and then he brought me into the tutorial part. I ended up eating the grass and he thought I was starving or suffering from malnutrition, so he said he was going to give me extra rations and money.”

“You ate the grass? Why did you eat the grass?” He asked incredulously. He once again hunched over to stare into my eyes looking deeply concerned, “Are you hungry?”

“No! Well, yes, but that wasn't why I ate the grass. I don't know why I ate the grass. It just seemed like a good thing to do at the time.” I yelled, defending my actions. I flicked his nose with my forefinger, “Don't stare at me like that, you're the one who got into a fight with a disembodied voice. ”

“Yeah, but you ate grass.” He laughed, slapping his rather large hand on my back, I nearly fell to my knees from the impact, “I think we're going to be great friends, Bleu. You eat grass and I get into fights with disembodied voices, match made in heaven... or Cosmos.” He shrugged. “Besides, you have more coin than me.” I grinned as he turned around to pick a direction to walk in, “Let's find that town and walk around it until the sexy French lady who plugged me in starts yelling directions at me, or logs me out.”