#dysfunctional households

[lntrusiveknock]

get this IN my head and heart:: the idea that i am born to be more is only an illusion and i was literally born to fail! yes now find gratitude instead of entitlement to this idea coined by a group of people with whom you Dont Fundamentally belong.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[witchyykitten]

everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent

but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should

[zippyzstuff]

[nothing0fnothing]

The number of times I've caught myself in the middle of telling myself how worthless, unlovable, dislikable and embarrassing I am is too many. It's almost every day.

And sometimes I correct myself and say "I am not unlovable" "I am allowed to make mistakes" "I have grown and changed since then."

Sometimes, I just wallow in the shame.

[albinofetus]

due to my father i’m evil now

[hatred-rage-and-repression]

Deep down I wanna be worse because I deserve it... I don't wanna be happy, safe, or loved. They are such alienated feelings to me... I deserve to live a life full of misery, because I am evil.

[magnetothemagnificent]

A reminder for anyone (including myself) who might need it:

In order to break the cycle of dysfunctional immediate families, you need cooperation with your family. It's not on you alone.

If there's a toxic cycle of broken parent-child relationships, it's not your job to maintain a harmful relationship with your parent/s to "break the cycle".

If there's a toxic cycle of broken sibling relationships, it's not your job to maintain a harmful relationship with your sibling/s to "break the cycle".

You need more than one person to heal interfamilial estrangement and dysfunction. It's not on you alone. If your parent/s or sibling/s don't also put in an effort to break the cycle, it won't be broken.

Taking on the burden all on your own won't fix anything and will just lead to more hurt.

[rocketqueen1989x]

I just want to hug him

[aphrodites-serenade]

Like Father, Like Daughter

When I look into the cracked mirror, I see the remnants of you. I hate how my nose is exactly like yours. I hope I can get it fixed one day. Your sister once said I had your eyes. You don't know how much I wished I could gouge them out. But you don't exist only on my face. I can feel it in my bones, and oh, they're too heavy for a girl. I hear it in my voice, and I speak as if I'm you. I run away from my problems, just like how you did years ago. Sometimes, I pretend they don't exist. You knew how to do that so well. Who was it that said that I was too loud? Did they not know it was the only way we communicated? Each time I stand in front of this mirror, I realize that I've become terribly lonely. My father never knew how to love, and I, who always messes up, know that too well. And I hate it, I truly hate it. I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I'm not my father, I repeat. But like father, like daughter goes the proverb… right?

[safe-haven-safe-place]

[lntrusiveknock]

am i more proud or ashamed that i have finally known at LEAST on a superficial level what it’s like to make poor choices because of idiotically myopic and socially damaging “self CENTEREDNESS” and because such selfish emotional self preservation is a priority that is to me worthy of every other endeavour. i did it for me, yes. i did it to know it so i can be less inhumane. i did it so i can finally be like whats apparently common folk. Though you may just say that losing my mind and better mind ISNT What common Folk do. its a joke played out in my face. i do it to get closer to a people who doesn’t want me nor recognize any need or want or obligation to love me back. i only ask for us to turn to the light instead of away; in some name of pure selfishness. i only wanted them to see my visions and the same sun i believed in - without having to face their darkness when they confront my ideals. but i lose it all. i lose it all to be WHAT They Are , human. i lose everything i once had or at best believed alone i had to love the people who fail to love themselves and me. what a fucking loser methinks. yet i know some other less fortunate people simply dont. look or wonder . or even get to feel. Truthfully i am probably happier for and more envious of them. i wonder when the day comes that everything of this comes to its full circle if my and our shitshow is deserving of a circle (to be closed). i wonder if all of this is just a mistake, and my only mistake being my attempt to humanize such arguably inhumane behaviour. which part of the absence of a ( Better)) belief and principles can constitute an actual way of being? is the absence of a conscience any real ideology at all? i wonder and wander and i sacrifice my own way to be less alone. but you wouldnt , if you are a sane person, be able to understand how much more it means to me….than any form of selfish life i can live for one person living in a world rewarded only by superficial delusion and applause from strangers, people from a different place, people with love… i wont believe that i can find myself in a crowd so strange

and it may just be worth the opportunity cost , to me .

[argetcross]

wasting beats of this heart of mine by ArgetCross

Chapter 29: The Gods of the Dead

The high-vaulted halls of the House were quiet when Megaera returned from her shift. She cast a glance towards the throne, and, upon seeing it empty, sighed. Lord Hades had returned a few times since their last all-hands meeting, but rarely for long, and the paperwork on his desk had piled up into a small mountain. Nyx was not in her usual niche as well and, with its two pillars gone, the House had sunken into a languorous and subdued mood.  After tossing a doleful Cerberus a new bone, Megaera headed towards the entrance of the hall. 

Read it here on AO3!

[witchyykitten]

[stacys-mom-has-got-it-goin-on]

When they've just traumatized you and then 2 seconds later they act like nothing ever happened and everything is rainbows and sunshine.

[nothing0fnothing]

hey I have some lived experience personal care advice I had to learn the hard way in my adulthood after growing up with abusive neglectful narcissistic parents. Maybe it will help someone else.

The most important room in your house to be clean is your kitchen. If you only have a few spoons and a whole house of mess, spend them on getting your kitchen clean, hygienic and tidy enough to be usable.

spending money on things that last longer or work better isn't a waste of money. You don't have to use the cheapest of everything because spending is bad work out what YOU think is worth splurging on.

Always buy the best shoes you can afford. Taking care of your feet is so important for your health. If you're afab the same goes for underwear, buying one pack of good quality, good fitting cotton breathable underwear will save you so much money on feminine care supplies if you get what I'm saying.

Get your feet measured in a shoe store. Especially if you're over 25 your feet will have grown since you were 18. I spent years thinking my body was wrong because my feet ALWAYS hurt. My girlfriend suggested we measure them and I realised I was in shoes two sizes too small. For years!! I didn't even know shoes were supposed to have space in them.

a cheap bottle of washing up liquid (dish soap) costs like £1 and can be used on basically every surface. Clean your counters, toilet, sinks, bathtub or shower, oven and hob with a scrub daddy and some cheap washing up liquid. It doesn't react with other chemicals and it cleans deeply and easily. I even use it on the inside of the shower glass where it collects that crusty water residue.

When bathing with an unscented bar soap everywhere first. Then wash a second time with your scented soap. The scented liquid soap isn't designed to clean you it's designed to make you smell beautiful.

Don't use scented soaps on your kitty. Don't use femfresh or other feminine washes on your kitty. Don't use feminine wipes on your kitty. You use your unscented bar soap you use on the rest of your bodh on your kitty once a day. That's all it needs.

You don't need sewing skills to mend things. A £5 sewing kit you keep somewhere in your house and maybe a 2 minute YouTube tutorial is all you need to fix holes in your clothes and make them last longer.

Cereal for breakfast is quick and convenient but aim to eat protein for your first meal. Things like eggs, meat, a protein shake, Greek yogurt. You'll feel fuller for longer and your body will appreciate it.

most things don't need to be ironed. For the things that need creases out a steamer is better for the fibres and easier to use. Simply hang up the item and hold the steamer against the creases.