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#drake x
madmachaca · 3 days
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Men only want one thing, and it's disgusting 🙄🙄
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elizabeth1048 · 1 year
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Drake: I hardly slept last night
Page one: When you can’t sleep, it means someone is thinking about you. Someone who loves you.
Drake: Who would be thinking about me at 3 a.m.?
Hawkins: [gay panic]
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pathologictwo · 5 months
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y’all remember we’re talking ab allegations of pedophilia and human trafficking and domestic violence right. real-life abuse. this isn’t fucking hannibal or Genshin or some shit even as a joke these posts are fucking weird
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sonrium · 19 days
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DP × DC The Power of Names Coffee Shop AU
Coffee shops are notorious for misspelling peoples names to the point that it's a running joke and basically a forgone conclusion everywhere. Everywhere except this tiny coffee shop near Crime Alley. The new hire there, Danny, spells everybody's name correctly without having to ask. Whether it's "Carly" or "Karly," he always gets it right the first time. Heck, people give him their names in Chinese and Arabic, and he swaps to the correct alphabet, no problem (because Danny, being king of the dead, can speak all languages dead and living, so might as well be respectful).
It becomes a bit of a running joke in the community to give Danny the craziest names they can find to see if he can get them right. Some of the Bats even hear rumors about him and give it a go for fun. They make a game out of it to see who can find a language or alphabet that Danny can't get. That is until, while massively sleep deprived from a case involving cults and magic and getting nowhere, Tim accidently says one of the words that he'd been hearing in the cultist chants when he orders. Danny gives him an odd look but shrugs and writes something on the cup. It isn't until Tim has already left the shop that he realizes that the symbol written on his cup is one shown in the cultists scrolls he couldn't decipher.
Tim almost dropped his coffee. Danny wasn't just a human who knew a ton of languages, he must have been a meta with the ability to understand EVERY language. And the Bats desperately needed his help to crack this one before the cultist finished summoning whatever demon or disaster they had planned. But how to get the kid's help? From idle chatter while ordering, the Bats learned that Danny wanted nothing to do with the Gotham vigilantes. And Tim had already given his connection to this case away by spewing that word written on his cup...
(I like to imagine the name Tim gave was something like "corn field" and that's why Danny looked at him funny and not because it's one of the languages of the dead)
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alyakthedorklord · 1 year
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Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?
CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…
Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?
Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it
Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️
Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?
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seronefada · 1 month
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The Ghost sucks at haunting.
Tim is annoyed, he moved in a new apartment. And it's hunted, he could possible deal with that, but this ghost must be the worst poltergeist in history.
He doesn't let books fly around. He usually tries to read them and gets angry. When the books get to complicated. Then he throws them.
Plus point for not throwing Tim's comic.
Does not let's plates and stuff flow around, just brings them in Tim's room when he didn't clean them.
Except for the time Tim got hurt on patrol and was really tired, the ghost did them himself.
Sometimes makes strange noise. Nothing creepy just strange. Turns out sometimes Tim just hears him play with something. Most of the time self build rockets.
Ghost doest not attack his gaming equipment. He plays with them while Tim is out. This ghost even made his own saves.
He named his save files: totally not a ghost.
He took Tim's credit card and made an subscription to a space magazine.
Tim is pretty sure that's one of the worst ghost ever. It's just a roommate who doesn't pay rent and borrows all your stuff without asking.
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deyageka · 3 months
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No srsly I can’t believe they’ve actually done this:
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corkinavoid · 2 months
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DPxDC Summoning Failed Successfully
Imagine a warehouse. Imagine a bunch of cultists in dark robes with all the candles, daggers, ancient books, and chanting. Now add Danny.
Only not as the summoned being, no. As a sacrifice.
He is sitting down, tied to a chair, in the middle of the summoning circle, looking as bored and deadpan as he can possibly be. The cultists are chanting, and he frowns, listening to their chants for a moment.
"Hey, is that Latin?" He questions, but to no avail, "You know you're not actually using those words correctly, right?"
"Keep quiet, child!" One of the cultists snaps. Danny leans back in his chair and shrugs.
"I'm just saying, you ain't summoning shit with wrong grammar," he huffs, seemingly absolutely nonchalant about the whole thing. Oracle, who is watching the whole ordeal through the surveillance cameras, raises her eyebrows. Red Robin and Robin are already en route to the building the cultists chose for their extracurricular activities, but now she almost wants to watch this a bit longer.
Gothamites are pretty used to all kinds of shitshows, but this boy is from out of town. She checked him through facial recognition. Daniel Fenton, a transfer student from Amity Park, Illinois.
A few more cultists stop chanting and turn to Danny.
"Do you know Latin?" One of them asks, and the boy makes a half-nod, making a thoughtful face.
"Not fluently, but, like, it's a dead language, I felt kinda obligated to learn it. Just for the meme, you know?" He chuckles.
The cultists, judging by their confused silence, don't know. Barbara doesn't know what he's talking about, either. But she is almost curious now, so she taps Robin's and RR's comm lines:
"RR, Robin, when you arrive, don't jump into the scene," she asks.
"Understood," Tim answers immediately, but Damian, of course, demands explanations:
"Is there an obstacle?"
"Not really," Barbara humms, "The sacrifice is in the process of de-escalating the situation."
She can almost hear the questioning silence over the comm, but, thankfully, no one argues. Meanwhile, one of the cultists pipes up, voice full of doubt:
"So, you can... like, proofread our incantation?"
"Yeah, sure," Danny nods, apparently fine with being sacrificed, "Who you're trying to summon anyway?"
"Satan," that same cultist answers, and Danny laughs approvingly.
"Classic," he nods and smiles, "I'll give you this. The circle is mostly alright, so you don't need an incantation to summon the fucker, I have him on speed dial." And with that, he leans forward, screaming towards the floor: "Ey, Satan!"
Barbara must say the act was actually convincing, but he went a little overboard with it now. She reaches to tell both Robins to get in, but suddenly, a loud, booming voice reverberates through the building.
"The fuck do you want, kid?"
Cultists fall to their knees - it doesn't seem like an act of worship, more like their knees bucking. The whole circle dimly lights up in red, smoke raising from it.
"Do you see this shit, Oracle?" Red Robin questions, and she mhm's at him, not sure what else to say. If this is still an act or a trick, she must say it's a very good one. Although somehow she suspects it's not a trick. She's seen enough magic in her life to tell the difference.
"Do you want to come to Earth, be gay and do crimes?" Danny asks, almost mockingly.
"Fuck off."
The red light flickers and disappears, and Danny looks back up to cultists, grinning cheerfully.
"Welp, looks like he doesn't wanna," the kid concludes and stands up from his chair. Barbara hadn't seen when or how he got out of his bindings.
The cultists just watch him walk out of the circle in bewilderment.
"Pursue?" Robin's voice comes over the comms, and Barbara thinks for a moment.
"I get a feeling like that's a bad idea," Tim mutters over his line.
Barbara agrees.
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Ghost Beauty Standards
So what if ghosts have their own scale for beauty?
Waxy pale skin, half-lidded eyes, empty eyes, colorless lips, ashen complexion, and sunken cheeks.
These are considered the most attractive features of a ghost without the extra bells and whistles.
Tim did not know this when he sat at his desk after pulling a week straight of sleepless case-solving and his desk neighbor was staring at him.
Danny had never seen anyone more beautiful until he noticed Tim. He looked like he could drop dead at any moment. Did he even drink water? Eating?
Those beautiful glassy vacant eyes made Danny blush. He couldn't take his eyes off him.
When class ended Tim sat up Danny heard his back crack from his still position. Thoughts of rigor mortis filled his head and the sound of popping bones was almost a turn-on. Danny didn't even know what that said about him.
Danny had to consider what to do next to tame his feelings. He could stop his attraction by helping his classmate improve his health. Or he could satisfy his urges by courting him.
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softpastelqueer · 8 months
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Jean Grey the second she sees Ice Man
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The World Contains…
Crack prompt (Inspiered by a screenshot I saw on Pinterest)
Streamer!Danny AU where Danny is giving some form of scientific lesson in a video.
Danny: The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons-
A severely sleep deprived Red Robin crashes through Danny’s window in the background, landing on the floor and immediately passing out.
Danny, looking back to the camera with a deadpan expression: …and morons.
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elizabeth1048 · 2 years
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Drake: I can never tell if you're insulting me or flirting with me.
Hawkins: If it makes you feel any better, neither do I.
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satoshy12 · 16 days
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De-aged Danny at Gotham University with Jazz
After somehow waking up as a preschooler, Danny wasn't sure what to do. His parents and others were unsure of what to say or do. And as it turned out, they weren't even trying to fix it. As it's again Adorable baby Danny, they can fix it later.
Later Jazz was told to babysit her baby brother while their family was away, something with the G.I.W. or similar in amity park.
So she just took him with her to school. And the funny thing was that the professors accepted him because he didn't scream and make problems. He could stay and listen to the class.
+ Out of sheer boredom, Danny started working on the tests the students were taking, completely unaware that they were considered difficult.
To the teachers' delight, he aced every exam he took. From math to History or Art.
+
Meanwhile, Tim sat in shock, frozen in place until someone had to nudge him to move.
"What's going on?" Damian shouted, breaking the silence.
The engineering professor replied, "He didn't get first place on the test, so he's stuck like this."
"So?" Dick interjected, looking puzzled. "It's not the first time."
The professor added, "He lost to the little sibling of our top student."
He gestured to little Danny, who was strolling past them. Dick did a double take while Damian burst out laughing.
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havenshereagain · 19 days
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DPxDC Idea
Danny working at Wayne Enterprises as some sort of engineer, uses the in-house app for all his blueprints and stuff
He starts getting notes from a coworker in-app, and assumes its this annoying older guy in his department who constantly undermines him because of his age, despite his education and past achievements (i feel like in this AU the Fentons react well to the reveal and they work together on a number of non-lethal ecto inventions that have Danny's name attached to them)
Except one day his coworker mentions never using the app, and Danny suddenly realizes there's only one other TD he could've been arguing with in the notes of the app
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ohlooh · 3 months
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DP x DC prompt
The Fentons were a loud family. Jack didn't know the concept of an inside voice, explosions follewed them everywhere and their driving left wreckage anytime they they got on the road. Most importantly of all, they were loud about their emotions.
Loud and obvious about their love, or hate. Rarely changing their minds, once a Fenton loved they loved with everything they had, with shouting, broken down walls, fudge, cringe worthy nicknames, loud proclamations and dramatic actions.
Now, Tim knew this before he started dating Danny. Knew that Danny wouldn't be ashamed to scream his love from the roofs. But it still took him by surprise when the grand gestures, loud confessions and over the top actions continued the longer they dated, if anything Danny got more intense.
He could admit that he expected Danny's displays to slow down or stop completely the more he got to know Tim. The more stupid excuses he made, the more dates he missed because crime never stops in Gotham, but Danny just kept accepting excuse after excuse with a smile. Danny still showed up randomly with flowers and homemade sweets and gadgets he made specifically for him.
And Tim just couldn't keep lying, so he came up with a plan. Invite Danny to next family dinner, let Danny charm the Bats enough they let Tim confess about being Red Robin. Truly a flawless plan.
Except Danny, upon first meeting Jason started a fight. And threw a knife at Damian, Damian threw it first, but that was beside the point. And argued with Bruce. And somehow managed to insult even Dick by going on about he hated circus. This just couldn't get worse.
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