#drake texting

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[violent138]

On the role of Alfred, as understood by the JLA:

Robin!Dick: "It's pretty much Alfie that calls all the shots, sets my bed time and Batman's."

----

Red Hood: "It's like a Charlie's angels situation."

----

Red Robin, before going against League orders: "The boss? You mean like, Alfred? No I haven't asked him yet."

----

Spoiler: "You really want to be late for the dinner? Alfred won't be happy."

Bruce: *closes computer* "We'll finish this up some other time."

JLA: *confused*

----

Clark, after Bruce gets severely injured: "Oh God, Alfred’s going to kill me."

Hal: "Relax, what's he even going to do? You're bullet proof."

Clark, groaning and sitting down, head in hands: "That's not going to stop him."

Oliver: "Say the word, and I'll get you on an island not found on any map."

Hal: ???

[bluejayscrying]

Babs using her oracle 'hacking' (lets be fr she probs already has access) skills to hop into everyones devices at random intervals of the day like:

*Tims phone pings with a tinder notification*

Immediate Text from Barbra: Don't match with her she eats her tortillas cold with no cheese

~

*Duke searches "how do you tell if your seeing ghosts or just sleepy"*

first link on google opens a website that just says in all caps: DUKE YOUR SHIFT IS OVER GO. HOME.

~

just babs knowing everything 24/7. imagine Stephanie starts talking at home about something she's upset about, and her TV just starts blasting cat videos.

[everwalldigan]

You know what would be really funny. If Jason had the most normal/conventional food taste out of his siblings (still very far from regular people’s “normal”), he’s stuck in the manor because of an injury and therefore has to witness the culinary WAR CRIMES his siblings consume for sustenance. Since there’s no Alfred to stop them anymore, they have been running rampant.

Jason: What. The fuck. Is that.

Damian, pouring out a green sludge into two cups: father and I’s breakfast smoothie, or did you hit your head hard enough to forget the concept of a smoothie?

Jason, scooting his chair away clutching his water bottle to his chest: yeah I dont know what nuclear reactive, Gotham harbour concoction you so flagrantly bestow the title of “smoothie” on but keep that shit FAR away from me

Tim: *sits down next to Jason, cracks open a can of energy drink and pours it into a glass, pouring milk on top until it reaches the brim*

Jason, with tears in his eyes looking at Dick for help:

Dick: *shrugs, shoving a fistful of dry cheerios into his mouth*

Jason: *turns his horrified gaze to Cass*

Cass: *grins at him toothily with two heaping plates of a full English breakfast sitting in front of her. He has no idea where she got it from. She is using a set of utensils for each plate.*

Jason: *stands up calmly* maybe I should stop looking for the unstable bomb I lost in the manor the other week *walks out of the kitchen, a few moments later a shrill scream is heard*

[superbat-love]

Dick: [flaunting his Halloween costume] Ta-da! Guess what I’m supposed to be?

Cass: Fun Batman.

Jason: Batman having a midlife crisis.

Duke: Rainbow Batman?

Damian: Father with a fruit hat.

Tim: Fruity Batman.

Barbara: Batman finally being honest with himself.

Steph: Batman’s ‘Date night with Superman’ outfit.

Dick: …What? I’m supposed to be a Devil Fruit, guys! [points at his fruit stem headband]

Jason: I like my interpretation better.

Bruce: Thanks a lot, kids.

Dick: Well, what are you going to be wearing for Halloween, Bruce?

Bruce: This.

Barbara: You're going as Batman?

Bruce: No, I'm going as Bruce Wayne going as Batmaaan~~~

Tim: Omg, an even fruitier Batman.

[galaxymagitech]

Every time Tim says he isn’t part of the family—

“Really, I’m just an employee!”

Bruce photocopies Tim’s adoption certificate—

“Only a legal technicality, Damian, don’t worry.”

frames it, and hangs it on the wall of Tim’s room—

“The guest room I normally stay in, you mean.”

which is in the family wing.

“Only for convenience!”

Tim’s walls—

“The guest room’s walls!”

eventually fill up with the results of Tim’s low self-esteem.

So, Bruce begins sticking the frames to the ceiling.

[shyjusticewarrior]

[bruciemilf]

“Bruce is emotionally incompetent and can’t step outside his own morality” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Dick is extremely stubborn and thinks he’s right all the time” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Jason has hypocritical tendencies” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“ Tim is entitled and doesn’t think about people when seeking results, and often acts uncaring” yeah it’s a character flaw.

“Damian is rude and bratty” yeah, it’s a character flaw.

Also, some people may not even regard everything listed above as flaws.

Having negative traits allows incredible flexibility within your characters, what makes them intriguing, what makes them easy to relate to. If you want to write people, then write people. But they can’t be good and clean all the time.

[yankcrime]

drake in the studio right now

[birdiedoesdc]

robins posting

[chamiryokuroi]

Pretty boy Tim real (Batman #147)

[fanaticalthings]

next thing you're gonna tell me is that the butts match 🙄

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[violent138]

During Tim's early days, the principal called Bruce once to report that Tim had a lot of bruises.

Bruce, pretty sure he knows where this is going: "Well there's a reasonable explanation for this--"

Tim, kind of sheepish: "It's from the Bo staff."

Bruce, turning fully on the chair to look at him.

Tim, fidgeting a little: "I've been practicing kind of a lot with it recently."

Bruce, suddenly incredibly proud: "Yes," turns back to the suspicious principal. "He insists on getting into these really niche extra curriculars. For college."

Principal, looking between them: "Bo staff? What is that, exactly?"

Tim: "I can show you if you like? Do you mind?"

The principal shrugs and Tim steps out, returning with a broom.

He does a one handed figure eight spin and wipes the Principal's mug right off the desk, causing it to shatter on the floor.

Tim: "Oh shit."

Bruce, speaking over the principal, standing up: "Excellent, just loosen your grip a little more."

Tim, rolling his eyes: "It's a pretty basic move B, and you know it--"

Bruce, excited that Tim's taken an interest: "Just the beginning, tonight we'll practice some real moves, build your repertoire in defense and offense--"

Tim, grinning: "I'd like that, I've also been working on--"

Principal, clearing her throat: "I think I've seen all I need to see."

[qweenofurheart]

timothy’s jokes don’t always land

[thedevilundercover]

I was thinking (shocking, I know) and I think the bat kids should have a little auction/market amongst themselves but for like stolen clothing

Like every three months they congregate in a fucking walmart parking lot (bc there’s way too much of them) at 3 am and they trade favours and stolen clothing for funsies.

There are some rules though like; It’s a strictly bat kid thing, no one else is allowed and the clothes must be of family members and family adjacents

Jason and Bruce’s clothes are always in demand bc theyre so fucking big.

*ehem* now here is my rendition of what would happen in one of these auction.

Tim: I’ll take the B/P route for a week if you give me your purple sweatshirt

Steph: Nuh uh 2 weeks or nothing

Dick: ✨guess what I got✨

every Bat kid looking at him, knowing what he was going to take out

Batkids, in synch: show us

Dick, pulling out one of Bruce’s oversized sweaters:

The whole group excluding Dick: Ỉ̸̝̱̪̞̃̅̔̂͜͝ ̸̞͑̊w̸̡̱̙̫̱̯̲̅̈́ȃ̴͖͎̠͔͇͊̂̚n̶̡̧̜͉͙̝̜͑̍t̵̺̭͍̪͛̐̈́ͅ ̸̹͓̳̂̓̇i̵̢̪̰̻̤̎̈̓ͅt̵̜̳̝͘

[superbat-love]

Tim: Red Hood, this is Red Robin.

Jason: What's up?

Tim: Batman has gone missing. One minute he was investigating the crime scene, and the next minute he’s gone!

Tim: I reviewed the tapes, and I think Superman may have kidnapped him.

Jason: Ah, so this was an alien abduction?

Tim: Jason…

Jason: He's probably being probed right now. I wouldn’t want to interrupt their scientific exploration of each other.

Tim: Jason, I'm being serious!

Jason: Sorry Tim, can’t help you. Paranormal investigation ain't my forte. Try the Green Lantern Corps.

Tim: Jason, I swear to god, if you don’t help me, you're gonna come back to find a serious "upgrade" to your bike!

Jason: Okay, okay, don’t pop a blood vessel. I’ll find the man.