#discussing trauma
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I think for my first (actual) post on this blog, I really want to discuss just the concept of how my trauma impacts how I view sex. Most of this is going to go under a cut, just in case folks aren’t in a place right now to scroll through a huge long thing. I will put a TL;DR here though:
Basically, sexual trauma isn’t the only type of trauma that affects sexual relationships. All trauma can — and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just something you need to work through.
(Also if anyone has any notes what to tag this as, feel free to suggest)
The thing is, I’m a system with CSA trauma and COCSA. I have a difficult relationship with sex things because of that — but genuinely… I think there’s this idea that in order to have issues regarding sex as a traumatized person, that trauma has to come from sexual abuse.
This is absolutely not the case. The majority of my issues with sex aren’t relevant to my CSA experiences.
My trauma was caused very much by an environment where I felt I couldn’t speak up. I couldn’t voice my own feelings or desires; I had to solely focus on the feelings of those around me, and regulate them. I had to make certain that every single action of mine was to either appease others, or lessen the blow of something I couldn’t change. Every single moment of my life was dedicated to other people’s happiness.
So, when it came to my sex life, once I finally dived in, I had no idea how to consent. I had no idea how to voice my desires or wants. I had no idea how to set boundaries or say no.
Oh, I certainly knew the CONCEPT — I’d been reading BDSM fics since I was 14, and I had researched consent extensively. I knew that consent is something that comes and goes and can be retracted at any time, and that setting boundaries is part of a healthy relationship. The issue was… I couldn’t seem to bring myself to do it. When my partner asked me if something was okay, my default answer was “I don’t care, just fuck me” — because why would it matter if it was okay? I’m with them, and if they’re asking, it would make them happy, which would make me happy. Right? That’s how it’s supposed to work!
It took a very, very, VERY long time to get to where I am now. I still struggle some with consent, but we’ve worked out our own methods of communication before, during, and after that help work for us, and extensive conversations about trauma and consent. Obviously, my CSA/COCSA impact things (how could they not?) but I feel like everything else impacts it too.
The biggest thing to remember is… that’s okay? That’s absolutely okay. It makes things harder sometimes, sure, but everything about this disorder does. There’s no shame in needing to work through boundaries and consent, though. There’s no shame in having to learn. There’s no shame in being traumatized. You’ll find some, I’m sure, but… it’s a neutral thing. Not a bad thing.
And, if you find the right partner? It’ll actually be hotter that way, cause fun fact, safe consensual sex is a lot hotter than unsafe unconsensual sex. Just saying!
#nsft#system things#minors dni#discussing trauma#diamonds are a boy’s best friend#shadows in the petunia garden#syscourse
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How do you manage to talk about the traumatic things that've happened to you without getting emotional or crying? I always found that hard and I usually get choked up. My throat pretty much clogs. It's weird and I hate it but all I can really do is laugh about it, you know?
Yeah, I totally get it, Anon. It’s taken a lot of practice and work - and if I’m being 100% honest, some therapy - but I can now talk about such things without like coming undone by it. 
Sooo I do have some tips I’ve learned that can hopefully help you, Anon.
Rehearse/roleplay conversations about the trauma out loud, either by yourself or with someone you trust. The out loud part is key here. It has to be out loud. Practicing it can help reduce the effects any triggering words can have on you. It allows you to envision delivering your message without the intense emotions derailing you.
If you know a conversation is coming like way ahead of time, prepare for it in other ways like making sure you get enough sleep and food to eat. Being hangry and sleepy makes things worse.
Find a good, safe space to have the conversation. Is there a place you feel more at ease than other places? It’s better to talk about the trauma there than somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.
Know what triggers your tears. Get specific about the parts of the conversation you’re going to have, even specific word phrases, that you foresee making you want to cry ahead of time when you’re calm, and you’ll be able to look at the situation more objectively.
Hope this helps, Anon.
#ask scott lang#scott lang#ant-man#anon asks#trauma#discussing trauma#emotions#crying#over emotional#tips and tricks#life hacks
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You know what.
ANOTHER DPxDC idea (as if I write prompts for anything else lol ✍(◔◡◔)
And once again, I think I might have a hyperfixation rn, another deaged Dani (Ellie) and Dan (Dante)! and Dad!Danny.
And you know what, lets make it another DannyxConner idea.
Danny is on a field trip with his class (NOT in Gotham though, LOVE Gotham but lets go with a different city) in like Central City or Metropolis (If Metropolis, Danny is SUPER excited to see the space sections they have at the museum they no doubt have, because well SUPERMAN is an alien and based in their city. If in Central City Conner is visiting Bart.)
During the trip he bumps into Conner and the two just hit it off. Conner enjoys listening to Danny rant about space and the stars and finds watching Danny's eyes light up in joy kinda cute. And if he got his new hero name Supernova from listening to Danny's rants about the stars well... no one needs to know how he got it.
Danny likes how chill Conner is and how the guy stood against Dash and the other jocks when Dash decided he wanted to mess with Danny during the trip, a rare thing nowadays but sometimes Dash does try, and how he respects/likes Danny's friends.
He didn't even say anything negative or hurtful when he found out Danny has two kids back home.
In the end the two exchange numbers, flirt hard, and maybe set up a date in the future. And then more dates. Becoming boyfriends. AND meeting the family. Conner is smitten with just out of toddlerhood Ellie and toddler Dante and adores them. And he loves how the Fentons just love him the moment he stepped into their house and was introduced as Danny's boyfriend, he made sure to bring over a pie Ma should him how to make.
Things get a bit complicated when Conner, Supernova, is at a reunion of YJ members and his phone lights up with a text message from Danny.
He's smiling with a goofy/soft look when he opens the text and see's its a picture of Danny holding a pouting toddler Dante and Ellie on his lap smiling with a notable gap in her teeth at the camera. The message he got was 'Ellie wanted you to know she finally lost her first baby tooth. Dan's been grumpier, I think he misses you.'
He is pulled out of his happy thoughts and musings when he hears Bart gasp hard and drop a bowl of snacks onto the floor. Conner turns to from the future Speedster and see's him about to have a panic attack.
Bart, Impulse, is having a freak out after catching a glimpse of the text picture Conner had gotten and being nosy wanted to know what got his friend to smile so smitten. He knew of Conner's current boyfriend and the kids Conner adores but haven't had time to be introduced to them or even see a pic.
He wasn't expecting to see the very MONSTER of his NIGHTMARES that basically destroyed the world in the FUTURE as a toddler pouting at a camera and surrounded by two smiling identical looking people either. People he never saw in the future or with HIM AND-
Oh.... OH!
Was that why he turned evil? Did something happen to his family?
#danny phantom#danny fenton#crossover#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#HUGE misunderstandings about to be done#Bart thinks the bad future is still on track#not knowing its already been fixed#the events have been avoided#BUT he does tell the others#it does send Conner in protect mode#and makes things a bit awkward between him and Bart btw#Bart is trying very very hard NOT to be scared/fearful of Dan since hes a toddler at the moment but its hard#TRAUMA for Bart sadly#Tim is coming up with many many plans to help protect this family that wormed their way in his best friends heart#Conner is panicking cause he doesn't wanna lose this wonderful family#Cassie is ready to throw down at anyone that even thinks about going after this family thats been making Conner so happy#Meanwhile the Fenton family are discussing when they should tell Conner the FULL Fenton family truths#aka Danny being Phantom/Halfa/Maybe Ghost King.#Dani/Ellie actually being his clone/mirror turned daughter due to destabilizing#and Dan/Dante technically being a evil timeline version of Danny/Vlad mixed into a clone body who destabilized as well and was now his son#over 9000 pairing
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dead boy detectives characters as art objects and sculptures
edwin payne
author: glen martin taylor charles rowland
author: robert hudson
crystal palace
author: glen martin taylor
niko sasaki
author: justin cloud monty finch
author: anders krisár esther finch
author: magdalena abakanowicz the cat king
author: toshihiko bito jenny the butcher
author: emmanuelle dupont the night nurse
author: elizabeth turk
[extended version with notes]
#dead boy detectives#dbda#highly subjective but. open to discussion#edwin payne#charles rowland#crystal palace#niko sasaki#the cat king#monty finch#monty the crow#the night nurse#jenny green#jenny the butcher#dbda edit#moodboard#art objects#objects#sculpture#marcela watches dbda#art#this is me trying to get into the core of them by the way. the very essence if you will#not specifically and not only their trauma
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i adore Maruki as a character because he's simultaneously the most relatable depressing character that will make you cry with empathy, and the goofiest wettest cat loser in the game like what do you mean youre a licensed therapist and your first response to trauma is to brainwash a girl, project ur relationship issues onto a 17 yr old boy, and then rule the world in a golden leotard? bro went from 0 to 100 so fast??? anyway he's like 30% of the reason why p5r works as well as it does
#maruki is so essential to why p5r works and im so serious about that#i should do a post one day just deep diving into what makes him the best antagonist. like narratively and thematically#maruki 10000% projected his life story onto joker#he called joker the light guiding his research and then his treasure is a torch?#he discussed his trauma at not being able to save rumi right before tempting joker to save akechi?#guys i think the therapist needs therapy#also he's so funny#remember when he sprinkled salt trying to act cool and then it blew in everyone's faces and stung a bunch of students#i love reading fics w him because its a toss-up#some of them call him out for being an insane world-dominating manipulator (valid)#and in some of them hes like the phantom thieves' weird neighbor that they invite sometimes bc he brings nice snacks (also valid)#i love it guys maruki the gift that keeps giving#persona 5#my post#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#maruki takuto#takuto maruki#shuake#phantom thieves#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#p5r maruki
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I just desperately want more recognition of traumagenic experiences that lie outside of the usual "childhood abuse" assumption that everyone forces on that label. what about trauma from bullying? what about trauma from undiagnosed illnesses? what about trauma from queer experiences like transphobia? what about trauma from medical experiences like surgeries, hospitalizations, psych wards, and other areas where the medical field failed you? what about trauma from eating disorders? what about trauma from racism?
there are so many experiences that can fall under traumagenic, but are yet swept under a rug in favor of a strict, stereotypical narrative that's easier to comprehend. I think we as a community need to make an active effort to expand our understanding of traumagenic, especially where it may overlap with experiences traditionally considered endogenic, and understand that trauma can come in so many different forms. so often people are shunned for trying to create roles and labels that describe their specific traumagenic experiences, and I don't understand why. there can be no progress towards acceptance for all systems if we don't accept that traumagenic is an umbrella label too.
#dollerium speaks#🎠 | reona (he/she/doll/bun/eld/spell)#this came out very rambly#but just know if you have trauma that's considered 'not traditional' or 'not enough'#I see you and I appreciate you#plural#plural things#actually plural#pluralgang#plural system#actually did#hc did system#did osdd#a lot of these are things we experienced in life that 100% contributed to our system's function#and yet it feels like we're not allowed to talk about them#because they're not the 'usual' accepted trauma that's discussed in traumagenic spaces#pro endo#endo safe#endo safe blog
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I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.
Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.
The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.
#critical role#cr3#orym#dorian#dorym#text post#cr discourse#'dorian deserved that actually and is being stupid by agreeing with ludinus'#'orym was too mean and needs to be quiet about his trauma'#just say you don't understand their characters#or that they are characters#you don't have to agree with them. they can make decisions you wouldn't make and disagree with#its good tv regardless#dorian didnt deserve that and orym was too harsh#dorian needed to be reminded of the consequences of indulging those ideas and viewpoints and orym is tired of this discussion happening#these things can coexist#neither of them have the whole picture here. we can't judge them based off of what we as viewers know#dorian didn't see first hand what the ruby vanguard has done. only what the spider queen did so thats on his mind more than anything#orym didnt see first hand (nor hear many details) about opal and cyrus. only what the vanguard has been doing to them for months#let them bicker and argue#its the best part#only going near the discourse because i have been waiting years for more of this and bitches on twitter are complaining about it#and often from people who don't even like orym (or sometimes dorian). go back to ignoring them and let me enjoy this moment in peace#i know i am adding to the discourse but i needed to find other people who want more dorym relationship drama before we get more fluff
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bts + reductress headlines pt.12
#figured we were due a little comic relief after that trauma dump of a weekend and the subsequent Taehyung Horrors#thank you so much for all the love on this series despite the appallingly infrequent updates (i fear this will not improve)#shamelessly tagging all my favs once again <33#trackofthesoul#annietrack#boongietrack#usersky#heyryen#usermaggie#userkelli#tusercelia#tuserjay#networkbangtan#reductress#reductress headlines#textsfrombangtan#bts#couple of footnotes:#kim seokjin i'm sorry but the astronaut??? MOON???? i dare say you have nary a leg to stand on#however if you and your military muscles would like to have a discussion about it that can very much be arranged#and @ jeon jungkook... even god rested on the seventh day. there's no way
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For Sarah J Maas, it isn’t enough to just have Feyre and Rhysand be traumatized, she must emphasize that they have suffered the MOST and that they are the MOST traumatized (yet they oh-so-nobly rise above it).
Her idea of virtue is characters suffering and being traumatized, conveniently showing few signs of that trauma, and then giving them an air of superiority because other characters are “not trying” or haven’t suffered as much as they have. It’s almost like a competition, which in turn makes the character interactions feel hollow and removes any potential substance from in-text discussions about trauma.
#sjm critical#For example when in ACOSF Cassian brings up literally every bad thing that has ever happened to him while he’s discussing NESTA’S TRAUMA#while she’s mentally at the lowest point she’s ever been. Or when Rhysand sidetracked the conversation about Feyre’s trauma UTM#anti sjm#anti rhysand#anti feysand#acotar#anti inner circle#pro nesta#anti nessian#anti acosf#nesta archeron#acomaf#a court of silver flames
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realized i should put my shipwrecked 64 art Literally Anywhere But Frankenbugs Server (btw watch bugs n frankie's shipwrecked playthrough it's good)
#anonymous puzzler art#shipwrecked 64#shipwrecked 64 spoilers#friendlyfrankenstein#goosterbold#tw blood#tw gore#tw body horror#tw eye trauma#tw eye contact#ask if ya need anything else tagged ! horror games you know how it is#i will reiterate in the tags I Cannot Recommend The Frankenbugs Streams Enough#it's a deep dive first time playthrough with lots of stopping to discuss theories and interpretations and themes. it's Good.#long post
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Disney, releasing Wish: "so it's all about legacy--the new generation surpassing the old, overcoming the evils perpetuated by them, relinquishing singular power... and there's an old man in a tower, uh... animal sidekick, i guess..., ah... magic...?
Miyazaki, just out of frame, sledgehammer raised:
#the boy and the heron#not tagging wish 'cause i'm being a little acidic#this isn't to be negative in the slightest--I really respect both films--but it's interesting to see how visceral boy+H gets with its story#what evils have to be rejected and what they represent--and how characters and the world suffer from those evils--as well as how the whole#'rejecting' part goes. in terms of animation powerhouses discussing their legacies - disney and miyazaki both - I find it interesting that#one makes a pretty safe and nostalgic movie about imagination and dreams; the other is a long trudge through the land of the dead.#b+h is a hard watch - and a look at the legacy of a man questioning his whole purpose in the world - after his cultural touchstones#have long passed by. Mahito needs to understand his grief to keep living--but if he drowns in it he'll just continue the cannibalistic and#violent world of his granduncle. how the hell do you make art when the trauma of your entire life has colored it forever? How can anyone?#maybe after a while... it's time to detonate that damn tower and keep living.#this is to say#if you have enough money to make whatever you want#Make It Fucking Count
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Unpopular opinion, but I really do not see Dany as this "oh so tragic" and "oh so full of trauma" character. She has bad things happen to her like every other ASOIAF character, but she isn't really super traumatized or unable to deal with what happens in her life, and the tone of her story isn't really one of tragedy: on the contrary, her story is full of her overcoming hardships. It's full of triumphs. Even the low point she hits at the end of ADWD is just setting up her journey to finally crush the slavers and become the Stallion who Mounts the World. And then when she goes to Westeros, she will be one of the people to defeat the Others.
I find it a little bit annoying when I see people reading her character purely through the lens of "oh she suffered to much, she was raped by her husband, she was abused by her brother, she doesn't have a home, she is so tragic, etc" (I'm not saying people can't discuss these topics, by the way, I'm just saying that it annoys me when this is the ONLY thing people talk about when it comes to Dany). First, because this isn't the majority of her story, this is mostly part of her early story or backstory, and the main part of her story are the things she does after that, her triumphs and hardships trying to lead her people, fight a war, fight the status quo, and so on. It's a little annoying to see a character who has such a great complex political and magical storyline, a great adventure, all be reduced to "she is just an abused girl who suffered", with all other aspects of her story being ignored. But most importantly, I think this reading of Dany as this tragic character, by Dany stans and Dany haters alike, gives fuel to a bunch of other annoying readings of her character: the neutrals use the "oh so tragic" narrative to argue that her story has to end with her dying and she has nothing else to contribute to the main story other than sacrificing herself and be a tragic hero. Meanwhile, the antis use the "oh so tragic" narrative to claim that they sympathize with Dany, but her trauma is going to make her crazy, paranoid, a villain, etc. Or, when they don't say that her trauma is going to make her a villain, they claim that she was always a villain and use her "trauma" to claim that they sympathize with her and that her "trauma" makes her such a complex villain.
#daenerys targaryen#daenerys defense squad#rambling#and tbh this isn't just dany or the a/soiaf fandom#this tendency of seeing every character out there through the lens of trauma is something i find annoying#i'm not saying people can't discuss trauma btw#but it seems like sometimes people don't do any other character analysis or plot analysis in fandom#other than debating who's the most traumatized#anyway i hope people don't hate me too much for this post#also i guess that one thing that annoys me the most is people completely ignoring dany's political storyline#and her arc of learning to rule#in favor of pushing this idea that her story is just meant to be a tragedy
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I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻
#911 spoilers#bucktommy#Evan buckley#Tommy kinard#look#as a queer person in a relationship with another queer person#both of whom have major familial trauma#trust me when I say you generally DONT WANT ever reference to your feelings and trauma to turn into a huge deep discussion#sometimes you just say something vulnerable#and the other person does too#and then you joke about it and move on#humour is powerful coping mechanism as well#one that is pretty common especially among guys#people need to freaking relax ffs#Tommy is not a horrible person for making a flirty joke#things were said and feelings were acknowledged#and then they moved on#this is all perfectly freaking natural#Buck is not some sensitive flower that can’t handle a silly joke about daddy issues#please I beg you all to look at this at a distance with some common sense#rather than the ‘but Buck is traumatized and must always be treated delicately!!’ lens#and I am saying all of this as someone who really doesn’t give two fucks about the joke itself#I’m not into daddy kink idgaf#but if the idea that a queer couple isn’t allowed to insert a flirty joke to lighten a moment of vulnerability#then I don’t know what to tell you#you personally finding something innapropriate does not mean it’s actually innapropriate#please just chill out ffs#no one wants to hear about how evil Tommy is for hitting on his boyfriend for months and months to come
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accidentally clicked on "send message" and saw this. how accurately is tumblr describing your blog
HELLO?
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replacement suggestion for people who want the drama of Arahabaki being a voice in Chuuya's head that yearns for destruction and stuff (since canonically it has no thoughts or will of its own and is just raw power):
Picture our Nakahara "I do everything for my friends" Chuuya, Nakahara "with great power comes great responsibility" Chuuya, Nakahara "if I compartimentalize my trauma it can't hurt me" Chuuya.
Picture our guy so raw from using Corruption, or maybe not dealing as well as he thinks with his trauma, or maybe just really tired, or any moment of weakness where you'd want the Arahabaki whispers to kick in.
In those moments of weakness, the Bad Feelings get a hold of him: self-doubt, despair, anger, loneliness. It's so unusual for him to dwell on those things it might as well sound like someone else is feeding him those thoughts. Maybe it adds another layer of frustration. Maybe it does make him want to blow everything up, just to let off some of those feelings.
And maybe in that already bad state of mind, intrusive thoughts enter the field. Things he doesn't really want and things he would never do. Things that make him uncomfortable, things that scare him. He would be able to bring down the Port Mafia. He could kill all those random civilians. He could run away. He already has black holes at the tip of his fingers, he could just destroy everything and leave nothing behind.
And between the very real (but enhanced, put at the forefront) bad feelings and the persistant intrusive thoughts, things might get jumbled in his head. If missing departed friends is real, maybe wanting to get rid of those left is, too. If he's angry at how unfair things have been for him and his loved ones, blowing everything up might be a legitimate reaction. Maybe it really is what he wants? Perhaps that little voice, no matter how scary, is right?
In short: replace "Arahabaki" with "Chuuya's subconscious", for better and for worse. Not to quote Dazai, but: let Chuuya suffer as a human being. Let his struggles be tragically mundane and common.
(and for comfort there's nothing like bringing other people in for a reality check and ground him again)
#something something abilities and trauma and identity and corruption#i know i discussed this with vee dozens of times but i forgot if they ever made a post about it#in any case it's been a while if it was so it's worth bringing up again#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#bsd nakahara chuuya#bsd arahabaki#apparently i talk sometimes
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Alright so someone on tiktok sent me a link to a compiled list of arguments against proshippers and so I wanted to put a sort of brief response of my own thoughts of each point.
Long post warning!
"Proshippers are non-offending minor attracted people in a fresh paint of coat"
What a start, am I right? Okay so first off this is a huge generalisation, not every proshipper engages with or is even comfortable with anything that sexualises fictional children, or ships them with adults. And of those that do ship adult/minor ships, it doesn't always mean they're attracted to the character themselves or gains any sexual pleasure from that.
They then went on to say that although they might be non-offending, they still fantasise about and romanticise children- in the case of proshippers by creating art and stories. And I am not personally educated enough on how people's minds works to go in depth here, but I do know a lot of pedophilic thoughts can be intrusive and unwanted. And I would much rather people engage in this and deal with their thoughts through fiction where no actual children are harmed, than actually go touch a real child or engage is any form of CSEM.
“People can draw and ship whatever they want!”
Here they went on to say that surely to ship and create content you must justify these things in some capacity regardless of them being fictional. And immediately I'd argue, the justification it that they're fictional. And that sometimes you want to read about things you'd never approve of in real life, it's a natural curiosity. And again, regardless of what the dark content is I would take someone engaging in fiction over harming a real person any day.
They compared this to alt-right groups and dark humour justifying racism and transphobia, etc. And whilst I think something we should always be aware of in fiction is stereotypes and how we may be representing people. Youtube videos like this are usually a type of propaganda that AIM to change people's mindsets and turn them against groups. Whereas fiction tells a story, some may have meanings and connections to real life, be a political piece, etc. Not everything is that serious and has a clear distinction from reality.
Think for example, reading/watching about murder and gore. More on that in a second.
"Fiction doesn't affect reality!"
I'm going to be honest I rolled my eyes at this as their main example was slenderman. If you don't know about that, those girls were schizophrenic. Anything could of set off and caused delusions, it just so happened to be fiction. Those girls needed help- not to just read purer content. They also basically brought up propaganda again, which is again deliberate and designed to warp peoples perceptions. Its based of lying and spreading misinformation and passing it as facts. The only thing I strongly believe can be directly harmful is stereotypes if not handled with care. But I think that's something for anyone who writes and consumes content should be aware of regardless of their stances.
Again here they implied that all proshippers are peodophiles. And that they normalise abuse of children. I'd also like to point out that most proshippers I've interacted with online have age boundaries to avoid interacting with minors depending on how graphic or sexual their content is.
"What do you think all stories about murder should stop existing?"
Here they basically argued that killing in media isn't the same as its not romanticised or condoned. YA Novels disagree- mafia stories being the most immediate example to spring to mind. Furthermore, morally grey villains. One of my favourite films is Mr Right. It's about a hitman killing people. Anna kendrick falls in love with him and its framed as a romantic comedy. Funny how its only fanfiction that's criticised like this? I actually have more thoughts on this if anyones interested.
Again they bring up kids not knowing adults pursuing children is wrong, and I'm questioning why children this young are unsupervised on the Internet. How young were you when you were allowed to watch anything with graphic blood or violence? This content isn't made for kids! Especially not anyone so young they can't seperate fiction from reality as most sites have a specific age you have to be to join. And I'm sorry to say it, but on websites and social media where adults can interact with kids, anything can be used to groom kids. (The real thing you should be mad about here is how there's no websites aimed just for children and safe spaces on the Internet anymore cause it can't be monetised as easily)
"Artists are allowed to draw and write about dark people"
They basically said, yes but it's not the same as promoting. Writing something under a romantic light and not saying "Don't do at home!" Isn't promoting. No ones encouraging these things in real life. Or rather, if they are its not because they're a proshipper but rather who they are as a person and their intentions.
The trans example they used is very extreme and honestly something I agree with a little more, fiction can definitely be used as an excuse to say and act out hateful and discriminatory things. Whilst I do think it's something we should discuss and unpack more, I'm not certain of my view on how I would fix this without risking silencing people talking about their experiences.
"Its not my responsibility to look after other people, just block me and the tags"
Here they threw all kinds of accusations. And says that we're making traumatised people jump through hoops to avoid getting retraumatised. I hate this argument, you know people have actual triggers they may not be able to avoid in real life? The world can't bend around you. And I am very sorry if any content online is traumatising to you, but someone could also be traumatised by a certain breed of dog and not want to see it. Should no one post dogs online ever again? A bald man reminds you of an abusive ex? Bald men get off the Internet! You see how this thing can just keep escalating? The tags and warnings are important because they're the best you can get. You can't control the world to protect everyone from everything ever. No ones forcing you to interact, and if you're on any algorithm based content that will encourage that content on your for your page more.
The only thing I think we should take from this is the reminder that warnings and tags are always important.
"You only care about censoring creativity"
Here they defend themselves that oh wouldn't you want freaks out the community! Which again immediately makes me lose respect for you, if you're just going to brand us all as freaks as an argument and generalize us.
No comment on that first line when you can easily argue antishipper do the same.
"Proshippers are not remotely innocent of targeted harrasement" Neither are antis. There's people who take things too far both sides and I'm not going to defend either for that.
"Real kids get assaulted and all you care about is censoring people online!"
Here they shout "oh I can care about both!" But what I don't think they realise is censorship can make it difficult for kids and to learn about how to speak up and to look for signs, or to speak up about their experiences. How do you plan on removing the topic from the Internet whilst also letting victims speak up? And people may want to write fiction based off their experiences. Who are you to go through it and proclaim what is too far, what romanticises it too much? More on this later.
"Antis are reducing my trauma"
They compared this to saying "date rape victims are reducing my trauma because they weren't taken advantage of in the same way as me" which is a disgusting parallel?? Date rape is still rape. Someone writing about something isn't the same as it happening. Although it can be used as harrasment, grooming, etc if directly addressed to you or being constantly sent to you, written about you. But the content existing in general? No.
"I'm coping"
Compared it to self harm, and such. Poetry and diaries are also used to write about your experiences and unpack trauma. Some of which may write it in an unrealistically positive light cause that's how they want to unpack it or explain those thoughts. And yes these things get posted online.
I can't imagine a single therapist or professional psychiatrist of any kind disapproving of creative writing because, again, it's much better than any alternatives of doing real harm to yourself or people around you. Although I do agree that if something is traumatising for you to read about and just upsets you further, be aware of your own boundaries but not everyone is the same so how are you going to police people's own thoughts and emotions.
Also I can't remember who or where as it was years ago now, but I have heard of people who actually realised they were being groomed or abused and just how bad it was through reading about it in a fanfic and seeing it in an outside perspective.
They also say to do it in private, but doesn't everyone on the Internet now have an understanding of finding a community and looking out for eachother and sharing experiences?
"There's more nuance here than just calling proshippers peodophiles"
Here they say no matter what it still comes down to whether it's ever okay to sexualise minors in certain contexts. And again, not every proshipper does this or is even comfortable with engaging in this kind of content. And further, no one is sexualising real minors in this context.
"I'm a proshipper and a minor tho!"
I'd agree minors should be wary of the spaces they're in but proship spaces aren't always necessarily sexual, graphic or 18+. Saying they're being groomed feels like you're watering down that term. I was a proshipper at age 13, I didn't interact with anyone online about it though, I didn't even know that was the term. I just came to the conclusion that it's just fiction all on my own. Minors aren't idiots.
At then end they talk about their own experience being groomed and I'm obviously not going to nitpick or criticise their experiences. I will point out that one person being bad and taking advantage of you and using content to do so doesn't mean everyone is like that. I am sorry to anyone who has been taken advantage of by someone who claims they're a proshipper though. There are people who have turned out to be horrible on both sides.
I am ill and it's late but I want to get this up sooner rather than later so please ask for clarification on anything. I'm always up for a discussion on this topic as I do believe some of these points do have merits at times and that this whole topic is not black and white
#proshipper#profiction#proship#anti anti#proship positivity#ship discourse#ship discussion#tw grooming#tw harrassment#tw trauma#anti censorship#anti harassment
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