#grabbing screenshots for that last scene though. GOD i was in tears AGAIN

[stardust-moth]

In order to fully understand why it was so hard for Mike to express how deeply he loves El, and why his speech at the end of season 4 was one of the biggest, most important moments for his entire character, we need to look at not just who Mike is as a person, but also everything that has happened since he met her.

Every single time he opens up his heart to her, something horrible happens to her or she's taken away from him almost immediately afterwards.

1x08; he's an awkward little ball of feelings that are way too big for a boy so young. He makes a nervous attempt at confessing and asking her out on a date; when he can't find words that she'll understand, swoops in for a kiss instead. She lights up immediately and smiles. It's a brief moment of hope and pure happiness. Maybe they can have some semblance of a normal life and be normal kids after this is all over.

Minutes later, all hell breaks loose-- they're almost shot, El pushes herself too far until she can barely move, she's almost taken away by the Bad Men, the Demogorgon appears, and she uses the very last of her strength to sacrifice herself to save him and their friends.

He has to watch helplessly as she disappears.

He spends a year caught between believing she's dead and hoping she's still out there somewhere (but if she is alive then why won't she talk to him anymore...?). Kept silent under threat by the lab, he can't confide in anyone or even acknowledge her existence, not with anyone except those involved... but everyone else is keen on moving on and pretending it never happened. He can find some solidarity in Will, at least, who is in a similar kind of emotional turmoil... but it's not the same and it's not enough.

2x9; he is finally reunited with El, and she runs into his arms like she missed him too. She tells him that all those nights he called out to her, she heard him; she was there reciprocating his feelings the whole time.

In a burst of emotions that he's been forced to suppress for an entire year, he lashes out at the reason they've been kept apart (Hopper), screaming and sobbing. It's a massive catharsis for him, and for once an adult is understanding enough to hold him and not punish him for it.

Minutes later, she is going to go headfirst into a pit of monsters, the place where Mike had just firsthand witnessed dozens of people (if not more) get ripped to shreds only hours earlier, and she is going to attempt to close the Gate-- a feat that he knows may take every ounce of her power, just like last time. He cries. He can't lose her again. She promises he won't, and before she can seal that promise with a kiss, they're pulled apart again.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

3x1; all seems to be okay now. He and El are happily together, and he feels comfortable enough to be playful, romantic, and intimate with her. It's the most emotionally open we've ever seen Mike thus far.

For reasons he can't understand (bc there's no way Hopper explained himself beyond "I'm in charge so do as I say or else"), Hopper is angry about it and threatens to never allow him to see her again: the one thing he fears most.

He panics big time and fucks it up in the process by lying to her. During a frantic attempt to apologize while also abiding by Hopper's rules, he runs into her at the mall. He panics again-- if anyone finds her here, and knows that he was here too, it's all over, and Hopper surely won't hear reason. El dumps him cold on the spot, spurred on by Max and her rebellious attitude (and without any context of course). He isn't given much opportunity to respond. He knows he's in the wrong for lying to her, so what could he even say...?

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

It's a hard blow, and he retreats back into himself, unable to get any joy out of playing D&D (which he clearly hasn't lost interest in), back to the deadpan sarcasm and accidentally snapping a little too harshly at anyone whom he feels would take El's place.

3x6; no one seems to understand the danger El is putting herself in. Everyone is berating him for worrying about her safety. He's seen firsthand what these monsters do to people, he's seen firsthand how El pushes her abilities too far. No one is listening.

The words "I love her and I can't lose her again" burst out in his desperation, perhaps before he's even had a chance to realize how deep those feelings run, despite whatever protective walls he's tried to build around his heart to keep it from getting broken again.

Soon after, all hell breaks loose. El is nearly killed several times over, her leg is ripped open, she pushes herself so hard that she breaks herself and loses her powers completely. Her father is taken from her. She's shattered by all of this, and there's absolutely nothing he could do or say to make it better.

She tells him that when he admitted he loves her, she heard him, and indeed she loves him, too... But now she's leaving.

He has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x1; they've been apart for a few months, and write letters back and forth to each other. El's letters paint a picture of an ideal new life: she and the Byers family are doing well; she's starting school and it's going well; she's made new friends, she likes her new home, everything is going well. She seems to be thriving. She sounds happy, maybe even happier than she had been living in Hawkins. Maybe Max was right, maybe she's better off being her own person without him, and maybe the respectful thing to do is step back... It's a small insecurity that creeps up subconsciously. In his replies he holds back, afraid of clinging too hard.

Though there's little logic in it, he's afraid that if he tells her he loves her again, another disaster might strike and this lovely happy life she's finally found might get taken from her. After all, that's what always seems to happen when he does.

4x2; after months of waiting, they can finally see each other again. He wears her favorite colors, picks a handful of flowers for her, and falls happily back into step with how they used to be. Soon that same day, however, reality becomes clear and the facade crumbles. People he was told were her friends show up to torment and publicly humiliate her. She had been lying. She isn't happy here, she hasn't healed, she is right at the edge of a breaking point that he doesn't see coming at all. He can't believe she would lie to him, she's not the kind of person to lie... especially not about something like bullying, something that she was always so understanding about with him.

On that logicless subconscious level, he wonders if it's all his fault-- he should have known somehow, he should have been there for her. She protected him from his bullies, he should have protected her from hers. He tries to come to her rescue. She runs away from him.

He's helpless to save her, again.

4x3; after a night to process everything that happened-- and deciding that the betrayal he feels from her lying to him is nothing compared to the turmoil she must be going through right now-- Mike approaches her in the gentlest way possible, wanting to listen and trying to understand. El, however, isn't receptive at all to his attempts at reassurance. She is at an all-time low, she's given up. She believes she is unlovable, irredeemable, a monster, just a thing that doesn't even have those superhuman abilities to compensate anymore. Mike can't believe what he's hearing-- doesn't she know that she's always been so much more than her powers? She's always been so much more than what she lacks in quote-unquote "normalcy"... None of those things matter, they have absolutely no bearing on whether she's worthy of being loved, because he loves her, completely regardless of any of these things. He always has...

El starts flinging his restrained words back at him, the products of his insecurity and trauma-induced fear. That fear takes hold yet again, and he stumbles, afraid of saying too much or not enough, because surely both could result in pushing her away-- she's retreating, hearing none of it; nothing he tries to say consoles her.

Moments later, local police come knocking. She's taken away in cuffs, and she's so broken inside that she won't even look at him when he chases the police car down the street and promises he'll get her out somehow...

Once again, he has to watch helplessly as she drives away.

4x8/4x9; after days of driving through the heat and dryness of southwest desert, having narrowly escaped being shot at with military-grade assault rifles, witnessing the death of and burying a man whose last words were that El is in danger... After watching dozens of people get mowed down by a sniper in a helicopter, and watching that same helicopter be smashed into the ground in a ball of flames...

There she is. Just as powerful and beautiful and alive as she's ever been. When he runs to her and embraces her, she looks at him like she can't believe he's real. She's beaming a smile right from her soul and it's like all the insecurity and self-doubt that have plagued them both just vanish from existence now that they're in each other's arms again.

Like always, however, the universe comes crashing down soon after. Max is marked for a gruesome death and all of Hawkins is in danger. They're miles away and helpless, and the only possible way for El to save everyone is if she goes in alone. She's stronger than ever, but so is her foe. Once again, she descends to face all the demons of hell on her own, and Mike can't do anything.

She's losing. She's choking. She's dying. He's helpless.

He must be cursed. He must be. Being with her, loving her, allowing himself to admit he loves her, it always brings only pain and suffering and loss. His heart is so full that it's aching, it's bursting out of his chest, and he can't contain it any longer.

She's going to die and it's going to be all his fault, because he fell in love, and it's cursed her.

Just before it all crumbles into utter despair, the earnest support from his oldest and dearest friend-- one who's always shared and understood his feelings of helplessness-- sparks a light of hope in him: "You're the Heart." You're not helpless. You can save her.

The words that come spilling out of Mike's mouth are truer than any he's ever dared to speak before, and it's the most terrified he's ever been, but he has enough courage for this moment. Despite all of the fears that have been building, stifling, choking him to death for years-- fears that the light of his life will inevitably disappear again, and there's nothing he can do to stop it-- despite it all, he pours out his heart to her.

He loves her. He's always loved her. He loves everything she ever was, is, and could be. He can't imagine a world without her in it. She saved him, in every way a person can be saved. And he needs her to live. He believes in her.

And it works. It's music to her ears.

[ichika27]

TWEWY 12

Grande Finale already!

I felt the same nervousness and excitement I felt when I watched the first episode while watching the last one. I’m excited, half knowing what I’d see but not knowing what else to expect.

Can’t believe we finally got to this point. I took so many screenshots... I had to limit myself cause they’re not all gonna fit in one tumblr post.

Also I don’t have to give a spoiler warning anymore. Length warning though cause this is super long!(longer than the usual posts I made for this series at least).

Kitaniji transforms into a three-headed monster and unlike in the game, he doesn’t capture any of Neku’s partners nor use Josh’s power to do so. I’m not sure what explanation there is as to how he got more than one noise form but I guess he’s the Conductor so maybe it’s part of his powers here.

Shiki and Beat awaken in the middle of Neku’s fight and help out. The trio then forms some kind of three-way pact (four if Rhyme actually counted although now completely sure?) and continue battling Kitaniji. The fight scene was pretty cool especially Beat’s attack with the chains. It just sucks the fight ended too fast. I guess all of TWEWY anime’s boss fights end kinda fast even though they’re uh, boss fights.

Final attack beam like in the game! It was too fast and I couldn’t get a good shot of the white version this transforms into (which looks like the one in the game). They have an explanation later as to why it looks different at first but they’ll talk about it later.

It’s sad Joshua isn’t part of this. This is supposed to be the four-way fusion attack. (;-;)

They defeat Kitaniji who disappears, sad that he was unable to protect Shibuya. Joshua never showed up in this boss battle so Kitaniji never got to talk to Joshua for the last time. In the game he at least dies happy in a way - he lost but he gave it his all and his Composer praised his efforts. He was also able to tell Neku that the rest is up to him now. Here in the anime, he just... he lost and felt bad. I wish they had Josh show up here but they had other ideas.

A new door opens and Neku braced himself as he knows the fight isn’t over cause there’s still one last guy on top.

They find themselves in this room/hallway (is this supposed to be the Trail of the Judged?) filled with CAT murals. This somewhat confirms the “CAT = Composer” theory and Neku has now accepted it, calling out Mr. Hanekoma to show himself.

And yeah, the last episode’s title is the show’s title as well “It’s a Wonderful World”.

Someone else showed up instead. Joshua finally makes his reappearance!

Boy, have I been waiting for you! I wish you were with them in the final battle earlier so you guys could be a team (and you could be one of Neku’s partners) one last time.

Neku is surprised but happy to see Joshua again. He thanks Joshua for saving him before and is glad that he’s okay.

In the game, this never happened cause Josh appears in the middle of a fight. Things were too hectic and when the battle with Kitaniji finally ended, he and Josh talked about their own game and so after Kitaniji disappears, what’s left is questioning what was happening. Since Josh didn’t show up earlier, they were able to reunite in a more peaceful way and Neku had no suspicion until Joshua himself brought it up.

And I guess that’s why I was so nervous when I watched this. It’s a bit too peaceful. I know what’s gonna happen next but not exactly how they’d adapt it.

Joshua finally explains the truth to Neku and his friends.

This felt more... awful to watch. Like we had both Joshua and Kitaniji giving bits and pieces of the truth in the game via their conversation so there’s two people to focus on. Here it’s just Joshua. But in a way, I guess this works cause there’s no one else there to soften the blow and Joshua could make the revelation hurt more if he wishes so. It also kinda feels worse cause you see Neku happy to see Joshua earlier before the reveal happens. Kinda heartbreaking.

“I’m the Composer of Shibuya.”

He finally says it clearly to a confused and surprised Neku.

We get a flashback of Joshua and Kitaniji talking about Shibuya’s impending destruction, why it must happen, and Kitaniji making a deal to try and save it. He has a month to change things for the better and if it works out, he wins. If not, Joshua continues the destruction plan.

Joshua’s Composer form is more vague here. It’s human shaped but you don’t see his face and the outline glows like this so you don’t properly see the shape. I think this is better cause there’s no way you can tell who the Composer is like this and he looks less human.

Beat gets angry at the revelation and tries to attack Joshua which he couldn’t do because of Joshua’s powers. I wasn’t able to get a screenshot of this but Josh is twirling his hair after this while Beat struggles to try and punch him. He’s cute and I know this is kind of inappropriate to say in this situation given he legitimately made someone mad and he deserves that punch to his pretty face.

Joshua uses his powers to freeze the others (and later renders them unconscious to keep them quiet). Neku is worried about his friends and is mad.

Joshua tells him he won’t hurt Neku’s friends. He then explains about how he found his proxy. Which is Neku much to his horror at what this meant.

I just had to get this with the subtitles on. I replayed the scene several times to hear if there was no error. Joshua says “Daiji na Neku-kun no tomodachi...” and I google translated it. It says “daiji” means “important”. So yeah, he definitely called Neku “important” to him. It’s surprising although this wouldn’t be out of place in the original game since they had more moments to just talk on there.

Yeah, I know I focused on this a little but I’m a nekujosh/joshneku shipper so forgive me for latching onto this.

Neku slowly sees the bigger picture as Joshua continues to explain himself. As a reward for getting this far, Joshua returns Neku’s memories.

He really had to get that close while saying Neku’s name, didn’t he?

Neku’s death flashback. The scene plays almost similar to the game right down to the censored guns (is this a creative decision to make it faithful to the game or are they really just not allowed to draw actual guns?). I was gonna make a joke about how Joshua stopped Minamimoto’s bullets using an AT field but the shot was different and the bullets just looked like they froze midair and not stopped by some kinda force field like in the game.

Neku ends up getting shot by Joshua complete with bleeding unlike in the game. I just have to wonder if I was the one who got it wrong cause in the game, Joshua looks like he’s aiming for Neku’s head and here, Neku gets shot on the chest. Did they change it cause a headshot would be too much or has it always been a shot to the chest?

Neku angrily walks over to Josh and grabs him by the collar. Joshua stops Neku with his powers as he continues to explain about what happened regarding the death scene and Minamimoto. Joshua then materializes two guns out of thin air and places one on Neku’s hand as he tells him the rules of their final duel: just shoot and if Neku wins, he could save his friends and he becomes Composer and do what he wants. What stood out with how he said it is that he didn’t exactly go “If you don’t beat me, Shibuya is destroyed.” and instead went “If you win, these are what you get to be Composer and whatever else you’d like! Sounds good, right?”. As if saying killing him has a lot of perks.

It feels weird seeing Josh physically placing the gun on Neku’s hand cause in the game, the gun was by Neku’s feet and Neku had to pick it up on his own accord. Anyways, I like the effect they used to materialize the gun cause it’s the same effect for the names of the routes when they show them on screen. Like graffiti or something.

At this point Neku’s crying. The shot didn’t feel as dramatic as in the game in my personal opinion. Neku is tearing up here but he looks tired and was about to sob in the game. Joshua meanwhile, counts down from ten.

Before Joshua’s count hits three, Neku hears a somewhat distorted voice (which we know is just Mr. H) saying “Trust your Partner”. This reminded Neku how he got to where he is: by trusting his partners. (I have something to say about this later)

In a very shocking turn of events, instead of just lowering the gun and letting himself be shot like in the game, Neku drops his gun and with a hand outstretched tells Joshua “I’ll trust you”. Oh my god... they really did it. I love this change not gonna lie. I think they might have added this cause they didn’t adapt Neku’s ending monologue where he does say he trusts Joshua. It’s less dramatic than the game though since Neku doesn’t say anything while Joshua is counting down. In the game, he was crying and saying how he thought Joshua was his friend and how all of this really hurt him. Guess we take what we can get and they gave us this.

Joshua smiles as he shoots but as Neku falls, the smile on Joshua’s face disappears.

Mr. H didn’t show up at the end here either so Neku didn’t get to see him.

Neku wakes up in the middle of Scramble Crossing like usual but he bumps into people and so he realizes that he’s alive now. He doesn’t scream after the very stressful crap he went to like in the game. Might not be entirely the same but Joshua still left him lying down in the middle of the street. Nice.

We then see a short timelapse from above Shibuya which is probably supposed to show a week has passed. Neku’s monologue wasn’t added in and no ending music as well. I’m disappointed “A Lullaby for You” wasn’t used. Here I was hoping for a miracle.

By the way, Shooter, Yammer, and I think Makoto all passed him by the scramble. They really didn’t get much screentime but at least they made cameos.

Neku finally meets up with the Bito siblings like at the game’s epilogue! The shot they did was almost the same as with the game, too. They have dialogue here instead of just stills with Neku showing how happy he was to see his friends alive again, too. I’m happy the anime version showed him smiling more at the end cause he needed that after everything. It’s nice to see him smile.

RG! Shiki is here! With the same shot as in the game! They really aren’t gonna show us her face, huh? Also, all of the shots with Shiki on them has her back towards us. Like there are scenes where Neku and the rest are looking forward and she’s in front of them with her back turned on us. Why? They could’ve used the lighting on her glasses to obscure her eyes, too. So her bangs are a secret as well then?

They show Eri later, too enjoying a concert, by the way. I was hoping to see a reunion between her and Shiki as well and them finally talking after the stuff from before. Oh well.

Neku takes off his headphones and he and Shiki do a proper introduction with each other with Shiki being herself this time. (Is Shiki the same height as Neku? It looks like that from this angle.)

Anyways, this was a nice way to adapt Neku taking off his headphones since they can’t do it like in the game.

They adapted the secret ending but expanded it to add stuff from the secret reports to explain other lore stuff which would’ve been missed by the anime-only watchers since those are part of bonus game contents. Mr. Hanekoma and Joshua talk about the events of the long game and Joshua says he knew it was Mr. H whose responsible for Minamimoto.

They also talk about the Red Skull Pins and how Mr. H made it for Kitaniji. Mr. H says the pins imprints Kitaniji’s will on people and that he himself (Mr. H) doesn’t need that cause he could do so with all the graffiti he left all over town.

Which brings me to earlier in the duel: Neku hears a voice, clearly (to us) is Mr. Hanekoma’s and it’s in a place filled to the brim with CAT graffiti. Did he imprint the words “Trust your partner” to Neku?

Meanwhile, Beat wonders how they were able to pull off the final attack. Neku says it was probably the pin Hanekoma gave them (the keypin looking thing). I guess they needed an explanation for the last attack but they didn’t have the fusion pin so they used this keypin instead. It’s why the attack looked different in the beginning when the attack was powering up.

There’s apparently a new CAT graffiti at Udagawa and of course, CAT-fanboy Neku has to see it. On the way, they meet Sota and Nao who are now alive! I’m so happy!! Joshua brought them back, too! I always felt bad about what happened to them in the game. I’m glad they got a happy ending in the anime.

Def March, 777′s band, are back as well and look... they got their winged mic back! It makes me wonder if they found it later on or if Joshua gave that to them back the same time when he brought them back lol. I’m just really happy for all of them.

Joshua’s wings!! This is, unfortunately, the best shot I could get since they never really zoom in on this. In the game he is in his Composer form in the secret ending and turns into a ball of light when he leaves. Here, we see his wings. It’s smaller than the one he has in KH:DDD. At least we canonically see it here.

I can now use the term “Joshua Maji Tenshi” and be accurate!

Mr. H points out that Joshua looks lonely and is in denial and Josh just leaves. Mr. H also shows his wings and leaves afterwards, too. I didn’t take a pic of it since we see it in the game’s secret ending anyways. His wings also seem smaller than in the game.

Final shot of the new CAT graffiti. I was so close to crying the entire ending and this nearly tipped me over but it didn’t. If “A Lullaby for You” was playing, I’d have probably bawled my eyes out. This graffiti is beautiful. I want a sticker of it.

Also, I just noticed but CAT’s old graffiti at Udagawa had mostly darker colors. This new one is brighter and is more colorful.

--

First of all, I wanted to thank tumblr for not giving me an error for posting more than 15 images like I usually did. I was bracing myself for the error pop up and was gonna make a part 2 instead but there was some kind of miracle and I got more than 20 pictures on here.

I have a lot of melodramatic things to say about the anime but I’ll save it all for later. For now, I’ll say something else. I’m sad they didn’t adapt Neku’s monologue. Those words from Neku still hits me in the feels to this day. Him saying that the entire ordeal really affected him in more ways than one and it wasn’t all good even though he’s happy about changing and what he learned from the experience. His line about how he can’t forgive Joshua but trusts him was cut along with it and it would’ve been nice to have to know what he thought of Joshua.

The thing I missed the most was the “I have friends now. We’re meeting each other for the first time in a week. See you there?” lines. It shows how happy Neku is that he now has people to call his friends which is super heartwarming and the line implies that he counts Joshua as one of those friends, too (which is properly confirmed in KH: DDD which I’d probably make a post about later if I get the motivation to do so). That would’ve also made the last scene with Josh hit harder. In the game, knowing Josh wanted to be with them and is sad he couldn’t already makes me sad but also knowing Neku is waiting for him makes it much worse (and I still feel pain thinking about it even after all these years).

Maybe we’d see them get reunited in NTWEWY. Hopefully. I really do hope so.

The anime isn’t perfect but it did what it could with the limited amount of time it had. The show would’ve been better if they had more episodes but we don’t know why it ended up with just 12 so we can’t really say anything else. They did it and it wasn’t as bad as I was fearing in a way. Would I recommend it? I’d probably rec the game first, to be honest. I was only okay with watching cause I have played the game and could fill in the missing stuff but the anime-only fans couldn’t and the thought that they won’t be able to fully appreciate the entire story of twewy is kinda sad. It was a nice watch though and I’d miss waiting for it every week.

I wonder if they’d make “A New Day” OVA since the anime is supposed to help the ones who haven’t/couldn’t play the first game but would go play NTWEWY and that scenario has story stuff that’s connected to the sequel.

Anyways, thanks for reading this far if you did! I’ll be watching gameplays of NTWEWY when it comes out in full (since I don’t have the money nor the console for it). 

[blkmxrvel]

i miss you.

Pairing: Scarlett Johansson x fem!reader

Words: 2k [2,179]

Request:Number 39 and Scarlett Johansson x fem!reader please :) thanks

Summary: Y/N is pregnant and misses her wife, and Scarlett has to give her girl whatever she wants. 

Warnings: angst (if you count being lonely and sad)

A/N: this is ass, and once again, a fluke. but. maybe?? i’ll back. idk, i didn’t a lot of requests that didn’t spark anything in them. so. yeah. anyways enjoy, catch u later. 

Being married to Scarlett, Y/N had gotten used to the nights her wife couldn’t make it home. Nights where she had to bundle up in an extra blanket to replace the warmth that she took when she’d leave. Y/N was plenty accustomed to the mornings she’d woken up and Scarlett wasn’t there. Where her side of the bed was cold and untouched, but at the same time burning a hole into her longing heart. It was just she

Usually, shw could handle it pretty well. She was able to keep herself busy and occupied; work her days away until Scarrlet came home. 

However, the pain always hit worse when Scarlett was filming out of town. Y/N took it hard when she had to facetime her before she slept because she had just gotten off set and she couldn’t kiss Y/N goodnight. She put a pillow through a hoodie that smelled like her and cuddled with it. She tried to imagine that Scarlett was right there with her. She usually had everything under control.

Except for now. 

Y/N was on her bed, cuddling the Scarlett pillow. She sobbed into it while she looked at the time. Scarlett had been away filming Black Widow, which meant she couldn’t be with you right now. That hurt you more than you knew it should’ve. 

Y/n was beating herself over her emotions right now. I mean, she was the one who urged Scarlett to go. Her wife was reluctant, Y/N was six months pregnant and was very apprehensive about leaving for so many months. Scarlett didn’t want to miss the doctors appointments, and the weird cravings at 2am. Y/N understood her wife’s worries, but still told Scarlett to go. 

“I’ll be fine, Scar.” Y/N wrapped her arms around Scar;ett’s shoulders. “Me and the baby will both be dandy. We’ll miss you, but we’ll be fine.”

Scarlett pouted as she looked into her wife’s eyes. “But it’s so long, and what if something happens? What if you go into early labor or the baby doesn’t kick or-”

Scarlett’s words were stopped when Y/N put her lips on hers. “Those are extreme cases, baby. And if anything goes wrong, you’ll be the first person to call.”

“B-” Y/N gave Scarlett a look and she knew to not continue. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Y/N pressed her lips to Scarlett’s for the last time. “I love you. See you in a minute.” 

Needless to say, Y/N was regretting her words. 

Scarlett had only been gone for a month and Y/N had been losing her mind. Everything reminded her of Scarlett’s absence, and everything made her resolved crumbled more and more. She got that her wife was an actress, and sometimes filmed out of state. She’s been out of town before, sometimes for months on end. They facetimed to sleep like they usually did, and had been texting each other as much as possible during the day. 

This time though, the loneliness was hitting Y/N pretty hard. 

Y/N got tired of hearing her voice echo off the walls. She hated how no matter how loud she played her music, how much she watched TV or listened to podcasts, nothing was able to fill her heart like hearing her wife did. Her laugh when Y/N waddled over into the kitchen, or her screams when Y/N chased her around the house for eating her last pint of ice cream. The silence got too much for her. 

It had been two days since she heard from Scarlett, and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. She wasn’t sure if it was because of her pregnancy, her hormones skyrocketing, or because she just really wanted Scarlett by her side like had been for these past few months. Either way, she just wanted her wife. Every second that Scarlett wasn’t next to Y/N was one more second that her heart broke. 

Y/N sent multiple texts to Scarlett throughout the day, knowing that she wouldn’t hear a reply back anytime soon. She soon gave up when the clock hit midnight.

Going back to her old methods of relief, Y/N sits on the couch. With a pint of ice cream in one hand, and the TV remote in the there, and a plate of apple pie on her lap, she decided to distract herself with Brooklyn 99. 

That didn’t work for too long though, because once she saw the dynamic is Amy and Jake, how they always made fun of each other, but love each other more, she began to think of Scarlett. She thought of how she missed Scarlett making fun of her, clowning her and teasing her throughout the day. She missed the way her face began to heat up, and her heart beat faster. She missed Scarlett. 

Y/N didn’t even realize she was crying until a sob went through her body. She put her food on the coffee table and curled into herself, sobbing into her knees. She was so lost in her thoughts, her vibrating phone breaking her out of them. 

When Y/N saw that it was Scarlett, her heart nearly exploded. She answered the facetime call, not forgetting to wipe her face beforehand. She doesn’t even have a chance to get a word in because as soon as Scarlett sees her wife’s puffy eyes and red nose, she’s worried and babbling everywhere. 

“Princess? Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is it the baby, is she okay? God, you’ve been calling me all day and I couldn’t answer. I’m so sorry, what’s going on?”

More tears trickle down from Y/N eyes when she thinks about her situation. She’s ashamed, embarrassed and sad, but she really misses her wife.

She sniffled a little before she responded.  

“I- I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m not usually like this. But I- I can’t take it anymore, Scarlett.” The tears were flowing freely from Y/N’s eyes. “Please come home. I miss you, so so much. I know I told you to go,I didn’t wanna be that selfish wife, but I need you here. I just miss waking up next to you and in your arms, please.” 

Scarlett’s heart completely shatters when she sees what kind of condition Y/N is in. She knew she shouldn’t have left, or took Y/N with her. This is all her fault and she feels completely terrible over it. 

“You know that I would if I could, baby. I miss you too, and I’m gonna be done pretty soon okay? Just a few more weeks and then I’ll be right next to you.” Y/N nods her head and continuous to wipe the tears that are running from her eyes. 

“Okay. I’m sorry, though. I wish I could blame it on the hormones but I can’t. I really, really, really miss you. Can just like… Act faster?” Y/N pouts and Scarlett just chuckles. Y/N feels her heart swell, she missed Scarlett’s laugh, more than anything. 

“I will try my hardest. I love you and our little girl so much. Don’t apologize though, everything’s okay.”

Y/N nods her head and slouches down onto the couch. She props the phone up on the coffee table and gets comfortable. She listens to Scarlett talk about her day, and all the action packed scenes she filmed. She even slipped in a few things she messed up on and prided herself on the way Y/N giggled. 

Y/N was fighting the struggle to keep her eyes open when Scarlett spoke up again. “I’m gonna go now, okay?” Y/N let out a big whine, her pout increasing. 

“It’s getting late, baby? You need to sleep. I’ll talk to you first thing tomorrow morning, okay? That’s my off day.” 

“No! Can you… Can we just stay on facetime? Please? I don’t think I can handle another night without hearing your voice. Or another morning without seeing your face.” Y/N pouts again and Scarlett just knows that she’s going to lose this battle. “You don’t even gotta talk! I just want ur presence, please?” 

“Well how can I say no to that?” Scarlett chuckles as she stands up from her bed, going into the bathroom and grabbing her toothbrush. Y/N tells Scarlett about her day as she brushes her teeth, how stupid work was and how she can’t wait to go on maternity leave. Scarlett answers when the situation allows, and by the time she steps into the shower Y/N’s words are slurring. It’s silent between the two of them, Y/N being lulled to sleep by the sound of the shower. 

When Scarlett steps out of the shower, Y/N is fast asleep. A fond smile on her face as she looks at her wife. She (obviously) takes a screenshot, before sending her wife a text. 

Sleep tight, baby. I love you and I miss you both.

While Scarlett is moisturizing and putting on her pajamas, she thinks about Y/N’s words. She did leave rather abruptly, she had only found out 2 days prior that she had to be flown out to film. And, even before she left, she hadn’t been able to spend that much time with Y/N. Press tours and meetings had been taking up all of her schedule. The only time she really got to spend with Y/N was when she got home, and by then Y/N was already asleep. There was always food in the microwave for her though. Scarlett appreciated it, but she was just only now realizing how much of a toll that had to take on her wife. 

No wonder Y/N had been so distraught. Scarlett had been practically neglecting her for weeks. She felt bad, and she knew Y/N couldn’t wait another 6 weeks for her to be home again. Scarlett doesn’t hang up the call, but she sends a group text to her director, manager and producer saying that she needs a day off. 

She’s gotta go home, her baby needs her. 

--

3 days have passed since that night Y/N broke down, and she’s been doing better, or at least she’s trying to. She still hates how vulnerable she was, how she let something that she was so used to her get under her skin. 

 Her and Scarlett have been talking as usual ever since, and that’s help Y/N put her loneliness a bit at bay. Y/N spent her day sulking around. She went to work, eating, coming home and going through the motions. The best part of her day though is when she gets home, and calls Scarlett. She tells her about the day, especially the doctors appointment. Y/N gushes over how healthy their baby is, and how she can’t wait to meet her, and name her. 

“Hold on, baby. I gotta get something from downstairs.” Scarlett said after a minute of planning the nursery.  Y/N nods and goes back to her pasta, groaning when there’s a knock at her door. 

She had no idea who it could be, she hadn’t ordered any food, thought she thought it was a good idea, and she wasn’t expecting anyone. 

Grunting, Y/N waddles over to the door, and once she opens the door she could’ve sworn she went into labor. (She didn’t, though). 

“Scarlett? What the hell are you doing here?” 

“Last time I checked we were married, and I live here. I wasn’t gone too long was I?” A smug smile was on her face and Y/N wanted to smack it off, but she wanted to hug her even more. She shakes her head and blinks her eyes, wanting to make sure it wasn’t a dream. That was ruled out when Scarlett was still standing there.

Y/N burst into tears, standing in place and her body is shaken with tears. She couldn’t believe it. Scarlett tosses her bags inside, wrapping her arms around Y/N. Y/N squeezes as hard as she possibly could, her tears wetting Scarlett’s shirt. She feels like home, and Y/N absolutely melts in it. 

They waddle together inside, and fall back onto the couch, Y/N not daring to let go just yet. Scarlett doesn’t mind it, though. She rubs her wife’s back as she calms down. 

“Hi, baby.” Scarlett says after it’s been silent for a few seconds. 

“Hi.”

“Miss me?” Y/N scoffs. 

“No, I don’t want you here. Of course I missed you, dingus. We both did.” Scarlett hums happily, letting her wife shift onto her side and shove her head into her neck. Scarlett takes her hand and rubs it over her wife’s belly, humming softly.

“I missed you both way more.” 

Y/N snorts and hugs Scarlett closer. “I doubt it.” Y/N’s voice gets sleepier, and Scarlett plays with her hair and lets her drift off, glad that her girls can finally get some proper rest.

[capesandshapes]

The Last Resort: Chapter 4 (Adrinette)

Summary: After an akuma attack goes wrong, Adrien finally learns Ladybug’s secret identity and finds himself falling even deeper in love with his friend. He thinks he’s finally gotten lucky when she declares to him that she’s currently in the business of falling love with anyone but her previous crush… until that crush turns out to be him. Now Adrien has to somehow convince the girl of his dreams to fall back in love with him, while keeping his own identity a secret from her. Well, if there was one thing his father taught him, it was how to multitask.

Chapter Summary: Adrien Agreste, Professional Moron  Adrien finally discovers what Luka had to speak to Marinette about and subsequently steps up his game. Alya tries to help him but doesn't take into account the logic of two idiots in love.  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Again and again. Adrien was sure that Marinette had watched the footage from earlier that night no less than a hundred times, never pausing of skipping, her eyes stuck in a look of constant scrutinization. Alya had only just uploaded it a few hours ago, but through Marinette’s constant clicking, the views had skyrocketed. The cat on the chaise behind her could hardly hope to hold her attention quiet like the video of her own humiliation did.

“You know, if you take a screenshot, it will last longer,” he joked.

“Ugh,” she replied with a roll her eyes, finally pushing away from the desk as the video played once more. She grimaced as the scene played once more, an akumatized villain named the Chessmaster grabbing her pigtails and swinging her halfway across Paris. “All of Paris is going to see this and think, ‘there goes Ladybug, human discus.’”

“You got distracted.”

“I’m not supposed to get distracted, Kitty.”

“You’re human,” he replied with a slight smile, leaning back in his chaise. If you had told him that Ladybug was capable of being anything less than perfect a week ago, he wouldn’t have believed it. But now? She wasn’t just human, she was Marinette. Being Marinette, the selfless and incredibly clumsy girl, should matter more than Ladybug.

“I need to stop letting my thoughts about my personal life bleed into my superhero life,” she muttered, her eyes drifting down to the floor as her mind wandered elsewhere. She’d only just spoken to Luka hours before; it was clear where her mind laid.

Adrien’s ears quirked, his face turning to look at her with an expression that said it all, tell me more . He’d waited there for hours for her to indulge him, give him even a hint of what he was up against. But she didn’t, her face remained caught in worry. He sat up slowly in the lounge chair, drawling, “welllll?”

“Well?” She echoed, tearing her eyes from the floor to look at him.

“A penny for your thoughts, my lady?” Adrien gleamed, “purr-chance an old alley cat could solve your problems?”

“I don’t have problems,” Marinette replied, sinking back into her chair, “at least not real ones.” She grimaced, emphasizing herself as she stated, “I’d love to have real problems though.” Another sigh, she reconsidered him, Chat Noir, as she seemed to contemplate what exactly she was doing. “Scoot over,” she demanded, “let me sit by you.”

He obeyed, only lifting his eyebrows slightly as the request. She fell into the spot almost immediately; her thighs touching him as she sat close to him on the lounge chair. A part of his mind wanted to put his arm around her, but the look of exasperation on her face warned him otherwise.  

Leaning towards him, she rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling loudly. Her eyes didn’t travel towards or anywhere near him, instead of looking to Tikki as the kwami dozed away on her desk.

“You’re stressed,” Adrien acknowledged.

“You’re stressed ,” Marinette replied, a slight mocking to her tone.

He chuckled, letting his head rest on top of her only slightly, “So.”

“So?”

“Anything to tell me?”

More air was audibly taken into Marinette’s lungs, her posture stiffening as she sat next to him. Slowly, his foot began to tap, and, with a glimpse, he saw her eyelashes flicker in time with the beat. After a moment, she spoke, her voice hesitant. “Civilian stuff, nothing important.”

He snorted.  

He could practically feel the unamused expression blossom upon her face as she outright stated, “Okay, let me rephrase. Romantic stuff, nothing that should be important to you,” her head pressed a little firmed against his shoulder as she gestured to him, “but you refuse to acknowledge that.”

He nodded, letting out a slight agreeing sound as he did so.

“And now you expect me to tell you, and if I do, you won’t drop it for the rest of the night.”

Another nod.

“Because, for some reason, you’re a masochist who likes to hear about the person you love dating other people,” she stated. “Which I can kind of understand because once I thought that I was that kind of selfless person, but then it turns out I wasn’t, and then Adrien dated Kagami but never really found outwheretheystoodandnowthat’sawholethingandmymindisamessand--”

“--I’m not that kind of person either,” he interrupted.

“No one’s that type of person,” Marinette admitted, pulling away from him only to look him square in the eyes, “everyone thinks that they’re that person, but they’re not! Every single time I saw them I wanted to be that person, but then they’d get really close like they were going to kiss and I thought I would vomit and then my brain would go white and I couldn’t look away and -- Luka!” She stopped her rambling to grab both of Adrien’s shoulders, repeating the other boy’s name once more, “Luka.”

“Luka?” He replied, halfway amused.

“Luka,” she affirmed before falling against the back of the chaise, repeating the name over and over again like a madwoman. For all Adrien knew, she could be going mad, “Luka, Luka, Luka. Why on earth would he do that? Why would anyone do that? I mean it just-- I-- Ugh!” She fell silent once more, repeatedly smacking her face.

“Ok, well,” Adrien began in the break, far more confused than he let on. “You’re going to have to explain because I don’t--”

“He asked me to hang out!” Marinette shouted. “And I said yes, of course, and then I asked, because I’m an idiot, if it was a date!” Her head rolled back against the chaise as she kicked up her feet, placing them on Adrien’s lap as she continued speaking dramatically, her arms doing half of the talking. Forming imaginary quotation marks with her fingers, she said in a Luka-esque voice, “‘only if you want it to be.’”

“Only if you want it to be?”

“Exactly,” she nodded. “I must have angered some sort of vengeful god or something, because before that I. Got. A. Text.” She bolted upwards into a sitting position once more, her eyes livid as she stated, “from Adrien, Adrien Agreste.” Her hands planted down on the chaise as she leaned towards the young man she knew only as Chat Noir, “ ‘I love spending time with you.’”  

“Oh no,” Adrien replied, struggling to hide the hint of humor in his voice.

“Oh yes.” Whatever professionalism she held as Ladybug must have come with the suit, because the young woman in front of Adrien had no composure. “I mean, what does that mean? What does any of it mean? What do boys mean?”

“Well, I--”

“It’s a rhetorical question, Chat,” she replied.

“It sounded like you wanted an answer,” he grinned. “Which, if you did, I would say that Adrien likes spending time with you. Which means, if I’m not mistaken, that he enjoys being around you. And boys? Well, that word means…” He trailed off purposefully, his smile widening as he teased her.

But she took no notice of his taunt. Instead, Marinette chose to correct him.  

“He didn’t say like,” she said, sounding slightly annoyed. She turned to her side, her body curling into the chaise as blood rushed to her face. Under her breath she murmured, “he said love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alya leaned forward, her voice light as she placed her hands on Adrien’s shoulders, her face likely attempting to be soothing but the pure excitement behind her eyes made it anything but that. Her hands tightened around his shoulders, the edges of her mouth going up a bit too far as she asked him, “You’re ready?”

“I’m ready,” he reassured, his shoulders practically bouncing up and down as he said it.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Alya sighed, giving Adrien a good once over before nodding to herself. “Now remember, no matter what you do, no matter how you screw up; you’re going to come out ahead so long as you say the word date. You clearly state, ‘Marinette do you want to go out on a date this weekend,’ and then you’ve done it. Don’t focus on anything else; just think about the word date.”

“Date,” Adrien repeated helpfully.

“Date,” Alya nodded, a tiny bit of pride showing through. She’d made comments that she’d found it easier to coach Adrien in love than Marinette; he was sure this was one of those moments.

“And if she says no?” He asked, his nerves rising.

“She’s not going to say no,” Alya quickly replied, pulling her hand back from his shoulder to grab her phone out of her back pocket. Ignoring the look of doubt on his face, she shook her head at the boy and pressed a single button of the phone, checking her call log. Across the courtyard, she made eye contact with Nino. “Listen, Adrien. Right now, Marinette is waiting in the bakery for me to come to pick her up. I’m going to walk her this short, short distance to the park. Nino and I will coincidentally run into each other; he’ll make up some great excuse about how he left something at school and needs help getting it, then we’ll both go hide behind a tree or something in case you need help. Marinette’s going to wait there alone for a moment a little sad because wow everyone’s in love but her… and then, bam! Adrien Agreste, professional guy she could maybe love, shows up and asks her on a date. It’s short and it’s simple-- it’s not a convoluted plan involving giving half of the class flower names-- It’s perfect.”

“I mean, it’s hardly even a plan, it’s just--” Adrien began, but cut himself off as he noticed the glare on the brunette’s face. “Maybe I should bring flowers or something? Chocolates or a drink, or…”

Alya’s face reaffirmed him that that was not the best of plans. “You want to look spontaneous, like you just coincidentally decided, ‘oh, today I’ll ask my good friend Marinette out on a date.’ If you refuse to start with the whole I love you thing, then this is where you do start.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” but his face must have portrayed some of his uncertainty because she leaned towards him once more, her hands reassuringly tightening on his shoulders as she informed him, “You know, she’d kill me for saying it but, she’s crazy about you, absolutely crazy. The second she realizes that you like her too? It’s over for every man in Paris.”

“Thanks, Alya.”

“Now,” she began, flicking through her contacts before landing on the pink icon of Marinette’s number. “You stay here and practice asking, Prince Charming, and I’ll go get your clumsy Cinderella.” Her grin was practically infectious as she pressed the number, holding her phone up to her face as she walked away from him.  

He watched her go, his lips still tensed in a worried frown. Soon Marinette would be there and then… Showtime, he supposed.

“Human courting…” A voice from his pocket mused. “It’d be easier to just kiss her and explain later, but what do us kwamis know? We’re only centuries old.”

“Shut up, Plagg,” he muttered, slightly amused as he turned to his pocket, opening it slightly to face the small cat.

“All I’m saying is, you know she used to like you. Would it really be such an awful thing to her if the guy she used to like just so happened to kiss her? Mash mouths now, say you’re Chat Noir, snuff out the competition, and BAM! Ladynoir all over Paris.” The Kwami waved his paw like he was waving away Adrien’s worries.

“I can’t just kiss her!” He couldn’t even comprehend a reality in which he just walked up and kissed her. That was something, but it wasn’t exactly the path to love that Adrien was willing to take.

“You can, and you should,” Plagg said as he settled a little bit more into Adrien’s pockets.

“I can’t, and I shouldn’t!” He likely looked crazy, getting so emotional and almost yelling into his pocket. But he couldn't’ help himself; the idea was just too much. “Marinette deserves more, Marinette deserves…” He trailed off, his mind running through the exceptionally long list of things that Marinette deserved but cutting itself off the second that she entered the park, Alya’s arm wrapped around hers.

Ah, he should have hidden.  

“Adrien!” How she managed to project so much sound with just a squeak was a miracle to him. Alya and her had crossed the field in a matter of seconds, Marinette looking rather cheerful while Alya’s eyes stabbed daggers into him.

“What are you doing here?” Alya asked through gritted teeth, her face asking, why didn’t you hide, you gigantic moron?  

“Oh, there’s Nino too!” Marinette pointed out, waving at a very stressed Nino peering out from behind a tree.

“What a coincidence ,” Alya’s voice was dripping with sarcasm, yet that somehow went unnoticed by the other girl.  

“I’m going to go say hi to him,” Marinette said, already beginning to walk. It wasn’t hard to notice how quick she was to leave.

Alya’s hand reached for her arm, grabbing it and holding her in place. “NO. That’s…” The gears churned behind Alya’s eyes as Marinette shot her an innocent glance, confusion beginning to cover the blue-eyed girl’s face. “I mean, he’s my boyfriend! I want to say hi first, you know? It’s been a while since I last saw him!”

“Oh,” Marinette nodded.

“So, you’re going to stay here with Adrien… and maybe have a good conversation or two,” Alya said, gesturing to him momentarily before, quite suddenly, taking off in the direction of Nino.

So much for looking spontaneous.  

“I missed you this morning…” Marinette mumbled, her eyes rained on Alya and Nino as she spoke. A blush crept across her face, but she didn’t so much as glimpse him. Across the way, Nino and Alya were putting on quite the show of the world’s most prolonged greetings.  

“Weekends, what are you gonna do?” Adrien replied, stepping a little bit closer to her as he spoke. His head turned to Alya and Nino as well, trying to put on the facade of watching the two. In reality, his eyes remained on Marinette instead.

She gave him a half-smile, her arms crossing as she moved to hug herself slightly.

“I mean, there is something we could do…” He began, shuffling a little bit closer to her and allowing himself to look at her fully.

She spared him a glance, “Hm?”

“You could go out with me.”

The words fell on her, but she didn’t process them immediately. He could tell when she did though, because her whole body stiffened in a way that made his stomach drop. Blinking rapidly, she turned to face him, her mouth slightly ajar as she tried to rationalize what exactly was going on. “With Alya and Nino, right? You, me, Alya and Nino?”

He let out a nervous chuckle, “No, uh… Just you and me.”

“Just you and me?” She repeated, her face growing pinker as her eyes widened.

“Like a movie, or…”

“With just you and me?” She looked as if she might faint. “Alone? Together?”

“Hanging out,” Adrien affirmed. If he were smart, he would have realized his mistake with that.

“That’s…” She nodded, first to herself and then to him. But when it came to him, it wasn’t a small motion in the slightest. Her whole body moved with each nod, her pigtails nodding up and down as she seemed to affirm not only him but the universe that this was happening. “Us spending time together, yes! That’s good… That’s a good thing! I’d like that.”

“Then it’s a date,” he beamed.

And if Alya Cesaire were there and not currently going through the motions of an extremely long greeting with her boyfriend, she would have grabbed him by the shoulders and informed him that that, actually, is not how you ask someone on a date. She would have run him through the inner workings of Marinette’s mind and informed him that saying ‘it’s a date’ isn’t enough.  

But she wasn’t. And so, at that moment, Adrien stood next to the girl who he was fairly sure was the love of his life, rocking back and forth on his heels, and grinned like he had won the lottery instead of having done one of the stupidest things in his life.

[silver-wield]

Hi! Sorry for bothering you. Don't know if you already did this one (so many analysis) but what did you thought about Sephiroth killing Barret scene? Everyone just go running to Barret and Cloud just froze.

No bother! Sorry for the wait, I had a few things on my plate to clear lol

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be short-ish.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone’s interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory – I should probably update this since I’ve had other ideas since then) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea’s approval (Cloti ask response) 

Leslie analysis (not mine, but a good read) 

Cloti action touching 

Aerti friendship analysis 

Cloti body language chapter 3 

Cloti healthy disagreement 

Cloti post heliboss battle (chapter 15) 

Clerith playground scene 

Cloti body language plate fall 

Cloud and Barret friendship 

Resolution scene analysis (A) 

Barret character analysis (chapter 13) 

Cloud character analysis (Honey Bee Inn) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Recap time!

Okay, so our intrepid heroes have found Aerith, but then Cloud has a ptsd induced attack and passes out. After some exposition courtesy or Red and Aerith, we're back on mission to reach the roof and the Avalanche helicopter waiting for us – thanks to Wedge the cinnamon roll.

Once we reach the President's office we can hear shouting and make our way outside to find Shinra dangling from 70f up. Poor bby. Lemme help you up.

Anyway, Barret stops Tifa going to help (you’re too kind sometimes, T), grabs Shinra and after some massive restraint on his part, tosses him back onto solid ground. He pursues Shinra through the office and then in classic moron moment finds Shinra has a gun pointed at him. I'm not sure why the others didn't go too, but for whatever reason, they're in the doorway while Shinra is making his selfish bastard speech and Barret forgets he's got a literal machine gun for an arm.

Seconds before pulling the trigger, Sephiroth materialises out of thin air – and Cloud's Sephy sense didn't even go off this time – and he stabs Shinra, killing him in an echo of his OG death.

You get a shot of surprised Cloud and Tifa, then Barret lunges for Sephiroth while whispers appear through the doorway.

Ooh damn I'm good! 2nd go and I stop on this shot. First one was blurry.

Ok, this is obviously the moment where Sephiroth runs Barret all the way through. Remember, his sword is like 8ft long or some ridonculous shit like that. It's massive. He has zero need to get close to someone when he stabs them. He didn't do this with Shinra, he was like 3 feet away and still there was plenty of sword sticking out the guy's chest (anyone wonder if Seph is compensating for something? Lol).

Ok, so the point I'm getting at by showing Sephiroth this close to Barret is that this is a personal attack. This isn't something he's done just to kill someone. He's stuck that massive sword all the way through Barret's chest until he's within touching distance of him. This is an attack on Cloud. This is his way of showing Cloud that the vision from the VR scene could absolutely be true. He can make it true.

As for Barret, well he's just been stabbed, so he looks like he wants to go for pizza lol

Tifa automatically reacts and wants to run to Barret and save him. She's lost way too many people over the last day and can't lose anyone else. This is expected of her being the first one to react.

Interestingly, the next one to move is Red. The bromance is real. That's one fast friendship there and I love these two as friends. Barret and Red can snark at each other for a whole game and I'll be happy. 

This is a great moment though because it shows that Red's already formed strong bonds with everyone, enough that he'll go to their aid without stopping to think. For an animal character which is hard to read, you can see very easily the pain, fear and panic in his eye.

If you're a meta!Aerith theoriser like me then this is actually too much emotion on her face for someone who barely knows Barret. She looks like she just lost someone very important to her. They met like an hour ago. I love the amount of emotion on her face here, she clearly cares about Barret a lot. That's an “please God oh no” look if ever I saw one. Makes me wanna tear up and no lie.

And Cloud. Who doesn't move because he's literally frozen in place with a wide eyed look of horror on his face. He's seen Sephiroth stab people before. Back in Nebelheim reactor and then in the VR where he had to watch him stab Tifa (ok not really, but the mental trauma is still the same). He's shutting down. SOLDIER!Cloud.exe has stopped working. Have you tried turning him off and on again?

Cloud's terrified of Sephiroth anyway – he literally whimpers during one ptsd attack – so to see him stab Barret? His friend? And he didn’t even see it coming? It's probably sent his entire mind to a point where he can't function. This is the stuff that breaks him.

Aside: How did Sephiroth pull that whole long ass sword out of Barret without moving away? Does he have slenderman arms on the sly?

This is interesting. Sephiroth looks at Cloud, who's still shell-shocked, but then it's like you can see him rebooting. That absolute fury and hatred he has for Sephiroth overrides most of his shock – or tries. You can see the SOLDIER part of him trying to assert control over his fear, but then it wavers and the shock and fear – likely from real!Cloud – take hold again, making his eyes wide and him look as helpless as he feels.

Sephiroth's goal is to always make Cloud feel helpless, out of control, useless to everyone. That way he can control Cloud and make him do whatever he wants. He's a master manipulator and Cloud with all his issues struggles to fight against that mental barrage. It’s something that never goes away for him. This is his lifetime struggle and it’s a metaphor for those who live with mental health issues. There’s no one final battle and it’s all rosy. It’s never ending and some days you win, some days it’s Sephiroth. The point is to fight.

So, then the whisper leaps into Barret to save him and Sephiroth turns into a piece of Jenova. Now we've got some action happening, Cloud shakes off his weakness and goes back into SOLDIER mode.

Conclusion

Cloud can't deal with emotions. Of any kind. He's emotionally stunted, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have emotions. It's the opposite. He feels things far too deeply and intensely and hasn't learned how to process them effectively in a way that doesn't damage himself. This is stuff you learn as you mature from a teenager to an adult. This is stuff Cloud's been denied by being a lab rat for 4 years. His body may be an adult, but part of him is still 16. He needs to experience life to help him mature and catch that emotional development up to the rest of him. (which is my way of saying he won't be like a 16yr old forever).

Cloud's real and genuine affection for his friend over-rid any kind of control he had over himself and made it impossible for him to move when he saw Barret stabbed. He's also lost too many people, which is partly why he has that SOLDIER persona protecting him. Sephiroth's taunting look made it clear this was to get at Cloud. It had very little to do with Barret. Cloud's anger broke through his shock, but that weakness reasserted itself quickly afterwards, keeping him from acting until Jenova Dreamweaver appeared and he finally had something for SOLDIER!Cloud to take care of.

[aka-willow]

Gone

gif

Words: 2012

Characters:  Willow Wren, Gooblin, Pip, Pingu, Burr, Spark, Danny, Manny, Dew, Fanisimo, France, Sabbath

Prompt/Tag:

“are you finishing that or…?”

“You’re going to get someone hurt.”

Summary: Willow speaks with the other Lab Rats about their past and future

Timeline: December 2015

Song: Gone - M83

A/N: the more you know

—————————————————————————–

The Lab Rats and I met at Gooblin’s fire tower on Christmas Eve. We set up sleeping bags in the tower and lit a bonfire down below. It should have felt like a party, being together for the first time since the summer, but it didn’t. It was somber instead.

On the heels of Marty’s death, the boys were sure that they were being trailed in Vegas, and Sabbath had botched a leak, accidentally forgetting to strip one of the files of metadata. It was a rough week and so we sat around the bonfire, staring down the end of our first year of freedom.

“Sometimes,” Pip said, slowly. “I think we should just turn ourselves in.” I shot a look at him.

“Why?” Burr asked. “Did you see something?”

“No,” said Pip, gazing into the fire. “I mean, not specifically. But when I do get those flashes of the future, I just see…” He looked at me and I frowned. “I just see… those planes that SHIELD used to have. It’s really dark. Surrounded. Loud. Maybe we should turn ourselves in before things get bad.”

“I’m not turning myself in,” said Pingu, poking the embers with a stick. “I hardly even use my powers. I’m not a threat.”

Except for D.C.

“Yeah, and neither is magic tricks,” said Manny, looking at Danny and France. “Pip, you know what we do. How can you say that’s dangerous?”

“I’m not saying it’s dangerous,” Pip said. “I’m saying that we’re perceived as threats.”

“Not me either,” said Sabbath, and Spark nodded her head in agreement. “Most of us are just trying to get our lives together. Even Dew is, which… I’m honestly kind of surprised.”

Dew laughed. “Well, superbrains aren’t exactly obvious. And the mirror thing isn’t either.”

“So, what?” I asked. “Who are you talking about?” I asked Pip. “Me? Fanisimo building things for us? Burr’s out there robbing banks in Europe.”

“I’m not violent,” Burr shot back. “It’s all behind the scenes.”

“So what, I build things?” said Fanisimo. “As long as I don’t open up a nether portal, I think we’re okay.”

That left me, and I felt their stares. “You want me to turn myself in,” I said. “That’s me you’re seeing in your vision.”

“I didn’t say that,” Pip mumbled.

“You implied it.”

“What’s going on in New York?” Danny asked. “I see the news, and maybe to outsiders it’s not suspicious, but to us? What are you doing? Every time I check in it’s like a new disaster or unsolved crime or—”

“I’m fine!” I said.

“You’re going to get someone hurt,” Sabbath said. “Or get yourself hurt.”

I ignored her and played with Marty’s flash drive in my hands. I had put it on a chain so I could wear it around my neck and the metal was cold between my fingers. Pip cleared his throat and asked Pingu about how school and home was, and the conversation shifted away from me. I grabbed my laptop from my backpack and plugged the flash drive in, trying key after key on WinRAR, nothing working. The file stayed zipped.

France and Pip got into a debate about whether France could use his powers to heal to resurrect someone who had died, as he had gotten some strange blood or healing abilities from the Blue Lab.

“You can’t resurrect someone,” France said. “It’s not possible. You can’t heal death.”

“But you haven’t tried,” Pip said. “Maybe you just need to try.”

“Wanna volunteer?”

The others laughed and it reminded me of something Marty had once told me. “Hey, Sabbath,” I said. She was sitting next to me. “You know the musical Cats?” I knew she was obsessed with musical theater, and if anyone appreciated the factoid, she would.

“What about it?”

“Well, if you trace the events from its production, it started with a German necromancer from the 1400s. So some guy tried to raise the dead in medieval times and we ended up with a musical about cats.”

“That can’t be real,” said Sabbath, pulling out her phone and opening the internet browser.

“It is,” I said, trying a few more book titles as keys on Marty’s file. On the other side of the fire, Spark and Gooblin stabbed sticks through marshmallows and began roasting them, as Spark joked about singing Christmas carols and Danny nudged Spark, pointing at a burnt marshmallow. “Are you finishing that or…”

“Wait…” Sabbath started. “John Faustus?”

“Yeah, I think,” I said. “Neat, right?”

“That was the name of the…” Sabbath started, and the rest of the circle got quiet as she typed something else into her phone.

“Name of…?”

“Doctor Faustus, deal with the devil… Faustus,” said Sabbath. “I remember now. That’s what they called it. At the Facility. With the words, that’s what they called it. Holy shit, that’s what it was. Do you guys remember? They used to use it when we started to… I don’t know… get out of line? They always said the same phrase, but I remember… there’s so much there…”

It was as if a ding went off in my head. Look up Doctor Faustus when you get a chance; it’s a wild read. I slowly typed doctorfaustus into the box, and suddenly the dialogue box cleared, and the folder opened up.

“Guys, guys, I got it,” I said in disbelief. “I got into the files Marty left me. The password was Doctor Faustus. Why is that…” The other Lab Rats on the other side of the circle got up and came around the fire to stand around me as I clicked to open the folder and extract the hidden files. “Marty was on to something,” I whispered. “Marty knew something…”

I opened the folder and the screen filled with a ton of subfolders. articles. hydra wikileaks. shield wikileaks. social media. scam stuff. willow. patterns.

I first clicked on scam stuff, my hands shaking, and when I opened up the folder, I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. There were archived emails, text files, screenshots of a conversation Marty had with someone at a data recovery center. The words blackmail crossed the screen. A data dump of archived HYDRA documents.

How the hell did Marty get his hands on this?

“What the fuck?” France asked. “What was he doing?”

I opened his hydra wikileaks folder and found pages and pages of documents from the 2014 leak, all organized and collected, exploring every bit of data that was released. And then patterns. There was a single video, and I recognized the file name from Marty’s blackmail at the data recovery center. He had stolen it, stolen it straight from HYDRA. Marty did that. Somehow, that anxious, goofy, weirdo kid did that. He did that for us. And paid the price.

“Click on it,” Dew said.

“I don’t know…” I started.

“Click on it,” Manny interrupted. “We have to watch. We have to know.”

It was a stream of a video conference, and at the center of it was Doctor Dawn Turner, sitting on a desk with a stack of papers next to her. The video was titled report_5232014_turner. She began talking and her voice sent chill straight through my heart, and some of the other Lab Rats instinctively stepped back from the screen or avoided looking altogether. The words seemed to bleed together as she discussed progress and assignments and Fausta. Monster. It was so cold, so clinical, but we started to recognize our subject numbers. Subject 10. That was me. October.

“This is about us,” Pip murmured, and we shushed him.

Resets. The Monster Book. Triggers. Compliance.

The video ended and I saw our reflections on the black screen. My heart pounding, I opened up articles. The folder contained screenshots of news stories, some pulled straight from old newspapers. I clicked through them using the right arrow key, but I hadn’t made the connection, not yet.

“These are all really old,” Burr said. “Look, that one’s from 2008.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” I said. “These are all… deaths? Obituaries? But not even of anyone important.” I continued to sort through, but I felt the pit in my stomach deepen. “This is a family in Russia. Middle of nowhere. Look at that place.”

“That’s the house from…” Fanisimo started and we turned to look at him. “I remember that house. Those woods. The cold.”

“No, this can’t…” I started. “This isn’t right. You can’t remember it. We never left the Facility.”

The faces continued to pop up on the screen and even though I knew I shouldn’t, I wasn’t supposed to, I remembered. Every single one. I clicked faster and more articles continued to come up, more unnatural deaths, more…

“Go back to the video,” Burr said. “Go back.”

We watched it again, listening closely, until Pingu interrupted with an “oh my God.”

The Monster Book. October, shh. It’s time to play Monster. Sumerkey. Nothingness. The chair. The electricity. October, are you ready to comply?

“This isn’t real,” I said. “It can’t be,” and my breaths were shallow and heavy like I had just run a marathon. “We didn’t do this. We couldn’t have. We’d…”

“Remember,” Fanisimo finished.

“They weren’t training us all those years at the Facility,” Dew whispered. “We were already working the whole time. We were… you know…”

“Killing,” I said. “That’s what Monster was. Sumerkey was the start of a series, but of course I wouldn’t remember beyond that. We’d… change somehow. Complete the assignment. Return back to the Facility. There would be a reset. And over, and over, and over.”

“How many times,” Sabbath asked, and I turned to look at her, seeing tears reflecting the bonfire’s light. “How many times were we reset? What did we do?”

“That’s why I wrote the word,” I said, thinking out loud, speaking slowly as I put it back together. “Sumerkey, on my arm. That was the last thing I remembered every time. And I realized that if I wrote it on my arm, I could pull myself out. Remember who I was before that. Or… at least… fight it. That’s why.”

The fire crackled and hissed as we played the video again, and again, as I tried to absorb Marty’s last gift to all of us. This is why they came for him, took his devices. He must have left digital fingerprints. Of course. He didn’t understand what he was dealing with. And that’s why he hid the drive.

Did he know? Did he know they were coming for him?

I looked at the dates on the drive. Marty knew. He knew all of this about you. And he still… I wanted to cry, but instead I swallowed the lump in my throat, looking into the fire as if it could evaporate the tears out of my eyes. Marty, why did you have to go looking? Why did you have to do this?

We were always the bad guys. We weren’t innocent in all this. That family…

“I can’t believe that…” Pip started, but he couldn’t finish the sentence, choking up over his own words.

“Why?” Pingu asked. “Why did they have to? 2008—we were seven. Seven years old.”

“I’m done with this shit,” Sabbath said, walking away from the fire. “I’m done. I didn’t want to know all this.”

“Fuck this,” said Danny. “I’m done, too. Why…”

The tears were contagious in our gathering and as we silently wept that Christmas Eve, we remembered. Remembered what we had done, everything we were supposed to forget. It came in flashes, in jolts of electricity, and the same series of words over and over and over. The fear when I saw Doctor Turner come in with the Monster Book. I remembered that now. Not being able to stop it. Even if the reset made us forget, that little girl still remembered every time the door opened, and the book was set down on the table.

And Marty knew. Marty knew.

They wanted us to be killers? I’ll show them a killer.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x16 Reaction / Commentary

Alec “Proud Puppy” Lightwood

THAT FACE HAHA. Also crêpes man I'm jealous.

Rude man, don't rip him away from his hard earned waffles.

This is so hilarious to me, okay, this prompting hand flick Alec does (which you can't see here because I can't gif, only screenshot ahahaha) man I love it. Sadly I didn't find a gif of this yet, so I can't put one :( I can't even put into words why it's so hilarious to me. And Magnus's sceptical gaze hahaha.

Edit: I FOUND ONE

HAHAHA HELL YEAH

I mean we all knew this was fake, not least because it implies Magnus is wearing the same outfit two days in a row and obviously this would NEVER happen, but also because in no universe does Alec have smooth dance moves. It's a law of nature.

lol is this an innuendo or something because I don't get it, pls help

Tiny waist touch is spotted and highly appreciated.

That scene transition was brilliant and there is nothing else to say about it. I lost count of how many times I've rewatched it because it's awesome. The way Alec's voice sounds slighty off, the way Magnus gets heavier in his arms, the way everything spins out of focus, and Alec's last “Stay with me” sounds almost hard with urgency.

When I first saw this I was legit yelling at the screen why the hell Alec is just shaking him instead of, idk, doing CPR but I did him a grave injustice there because he actually does and I really appreciate that. (Though, if he learned first aid I wonder all the more about 3x12 (or was it 3x13, I lost count lol) where he just lets Sentry Guy die without even trying to save him.)

That being said, I'm really happy we got to see the immediate aftershocks of it because I was half afraid this episode would just start with Magnus in the infirmary bed. Still, I have a question. Who called Catarina? Izzy? Because why is she then so shocked when she learns Magnus is not breathing? When she presumably first entered the room to receive the instruction to call Catarina, did she not... wonder why Alec was cpr-ing him? Or did Magnus not immediately stop breathing after collapsing but just, faded slowly while Alec had already told Izzy to call Catarina? I kinda wanna know the mechanics here.

I mean, no surprise there if you keep killing them?? Ahahaha.

My fangirl brain: What, General Amaya from the Dragon Prince is gonna appear? Sign me the hell up!!!! My rest-brain catching up: No this is not a crossover and no, r is not y and just, no. My fangirl brain: :<

........ignoring the fact that summoning her is super stupid, there's also the tiny detail that they don't have leverage why would she help them are they just gonna say “pretty please”?? I can't believe them.

lol Bohemian if you see this, this panel is only for you to haunt your dreams XD hehehe sorry sorry but I just couldn't resist XD

Wtf I can't believe those words just came out of his mouth. Jace, you're gonna start with a pep talk? You were possessed and forced to do things against your will, you should know better than this. Honestly.

The way his voice goes up, just kill me now.

THIS DETAIL OH MY GOD

I absolutely loved this scene, in terms of acting it was perfect and it was painfully in character for Alec to blame himself for everything that's not going alright with someone he loves. The problem I have however (because come on, there's always a problem with me) is that they genuinely want to tell me that Alec didn't realize Magnus was faking it? Magnus loses his magic and he “doesn't think twice”? I mean, that's either really really insensitive or really really stupid. And Alec might be insensitive sometimes, but not like that and he surely isn't that stupid. So, uh, I don't really like that bit. Again, if he was secretly happy that Magnus's immortality is gone that's one more thing to feel intensely shitty about, I get that, but being secretly glad how things turned out and not realizing the other person is suffering from how things turned out are two entirely different things. And just, tf Alec. He can't possibly be that dense, can he, that he genuinely thought Magnus was okay with this. Even if he thought this was something Magnus could get used to in the long run, he didn't expect him to need some kind of settling-in period? Really??

HELL YEAH I STAN CAT SO HARD IN THIS SCENE. And I'm so glad she's the voice of reason in this.... after deigning to appear at long effing last ahahaha sorry not sorry for that dig XD Look it's not her fault, it's the screen writers'.

I got a soft spot for Simon calling her Fray. Also, high-key loving how they're all sitting there waiting for news and finally acknowledging that something's up with Magnus.

LOL CLARY TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. Kidding. It was the Evil Rune at work again, even though she's nowhere near fire. Maybe it was the hypnotic neon lights? In any case, this is becoming a real problem lol. (No, tbh I found that outbreak totally hilarious XD)

.............................*sigh* I mean, your fierce determination doesn't change the fact that this plan is doomed to fail and you still don't have any leverage over Lilith, but sure. Go off.

YEAH BECAUSE AS SHE PROVED SHE HAS COMMON SENSE. Though I really hope she also told Alec about this dumb-ass request by his dumb-ass parabatai so he can intervene. But, tbh I don't really expect that to happen. *sigh*

Kill herself and then revive herself, hoping a short moment of death is enough to severe the connection? Or maybe, uh, try to use her rune power to cancel her Evil Rune instead of summoning Lilith??? Just for starters.

WTF I CAN'T BELIEVE I'D SEE THE DAY WHERE  J A C E  IS THE VOICE OF REASON WTF COLOR ME IMPRESSED I LOVE IT

“See, I infused it with a strong dose of Plot Convenience, so that shouldn't be an issue.”

THE PORTRAIT IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHAHAHA

“Why? Why do you hate him so much?” “It's simple. All my life I've had to sit by and watch...”

Thanks for 100% confirming my headcanon, I do love that :)

BAM!!!

I really like the detail that he's so out of breath from the magic, it shows that it was probably more harmful that just a shove back? Oh the questions I want to ask.....

Bitch you're 484 don't round down so much hahaha

Is Lorenzo actually gonna be swayed by this????????????????????? uh

Edit: Ahahaha we later learn he actually is and obviously I had to write a ficlet about it, so uuuuh whatever I'll put it at the end with all my other shameless self promo I'll include in this thing XD

OH YEAH I remember the “Different outfits for different occasions” comment from 2x19 I wonder what she'll wear? The same, or even older??? Btw why does she share a smile with Meliorn as if this is a private joke? Because, like, it isn't.

I mean that's touching and all, but that doesn't change the fact that Lilith loves you and seeing you dead would absolutely tear her apart, thus making this a fitting revenge. Wtf Jonathan this is no sound counterargument.

Hm. Tbh I liked her youngest self best? But she's still cast very well. And I recognize that her talking face to face with Jonathan would have been a little ridic if she only reached his navel XD

Ugh, Bohemian, can you see me rolling my eyes?

lol at least this was funny

OMG Luke could you be any more dramatic, are you actually kidding me. I'm gonna be sick soon if you don't cut the bs.

Wow the first sign of Sizzy that didn't suck, yay! XD this was actually pretty sweet.

Oh you mean that time that Raphael was feeding on her and they were indulging in mutual addiction? Because as soon as Izzy was clean she steered clear of Raphael.

..............................................what happened to “scumbag ex”? Why am I even asking?

?? Yeah? What happened to “While Saia lasted it was the best thing ever?” Then again that was what, three episodes ago? Can't hold him accountable for something that happened so long ago, right.

Hahaha okay that was cute.

1) LOL how hilarious would it be if they summon Lilith and just get her corpse plus Jonathan holding the sword still sticking out of her chest. 2) Jonathan is a true sadist, making her wear those heels. 3) Who's that wheelchair for? I mean, Lilith designed this apartment for her disciples, right?

.................which she doesn't need, since she's no warlock and her powers come from her angel blood, not ley lines. So, points for trying, show, but please don't mix up your races. Makes you look so unprofessional. (Except if this is a hint that shadowhunters also run on ley line energy, have ley line magic flowing through them etc. but honestly I'm not even entertaining the thought because then I'd have a conniption.)

Wtf it's literally standing twenty seconds of intense mindnumbing pain, why the hell would you need a coach for that? Just hold it together and endure it. Also, if they attempt it, 20 bucks say he'll die for some dramatic Sizzy “Oh shit you could really have died, too” moment.

Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- sarcasm.

Awww you can really see the love in that touch. <--- no sarcasm.

Honestly, Magnus's touch is natural and familiar (btw love the uncoordinated grabbing) while Alec turns Magnus's chin as if he's trying to make as little physical contact as humanly possible. Is a hand on his cheek really too much to ask for? *sigh*

lol you'd think he'd start with that immediately after Magnus wakes up instead of taking risks (it's what I would have done) but whatever.

He's.... actually there to help? For free? Or is Alec gonna have to hand over the Institute's keys to him when the job is done? Lol. (Also that suit jacket could be straight out of Magnus's closet.)

Oh my God Alec just say he could die. Why sugarcoat it? Say it how it is, and Magnus might listen to you.

.........yeah. This is so relatable and I love how he delivers this line. The desperation is clear, but he's also determined about it. Also, quick question, why didn't Alec get Catarina to be there when Magnus wakes up instead of Lorenzo? I'm not saying it would have changed the outcome but it might just have made Magnus feel less shitty about being exposed to his nemesis in this weak state. Then again I get it, Alec is running on panic and instinct, so consideration is the last thing on his mind.

This scene was amazing. Or, lol, this part of the scene. Magnus's performance is stellar and FYI the next thing he says, the “Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?” was improvised and that's just ugh so good. Coincidentally this is also where my issues with this scene begin. They're not about how the characters act, I found that part very very fitting; it's meta.

The issue Magnus is having isn't about some fear that Alec won't love him anymore now that he doesn't have his magic anymore. Magnus is projecting. His issue lies within himself. He feels differently about himself, he can't say he likes this, and it's only in conclusion that he assumes it must be the same for Alec. But Alec isn't the root of this issue. But of course it's easier to pretend it's about Alec than to openly admit his severe self-image issues, so that's what Magnus does. Perfectly ic to me. The problem I have here is that if we take what Magnus says at face value it appears that Magnus only wants his magic back so Alec will keep loving him (sidenote: even more if you cross out Harry's addition and just focus on the “You fell in love with the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Can you honestly say you don't feel differently about me?”) and the solution to that is clear: Alec drops some wedding vows, problem solved.

But that's not the problem here. Magnus would literally rather be dead than without his magic and no amount of Alec waxing poetry about him is going to change that. And honestly, I'm so grateful for Harry's addition because that made it abundantly clear to me that Magnus is projecting. His bewildered “Can you honestly say you like this?” is an admittance of “I see what I am now and I can't bear it, so how could you?” If that scene had been about Alec, that would have been so uncalled for.

And also loooool but uuuuuuhhh I found Alec's speech less than impressive? I'm sorry, I know he tried but it just didn't work for me? I felt like it really wasn't up to his usual par. Lol I honestly rolled my eyes when he started about the spark that lights up the room XD It felt impersonal, kinda. It's hard to describe. Of course I can cut him some slack on that, because he was emotionally severely overchallenged in that moment and had to make it up on the fly, but uh. Yeah.

Anyway what I really didn't like was his closing line because it kinda sounded as if he was making that decision for Magnus and that's not his place. It might be dangerous and stupid and “not worth the risk” but Magnus isn't in a place where he should have his authority revoked, so. Kept from gambling with his life, yes. With sound arguments and empathy, yes. With dictation, no. So that didn't go over too well with me. Anyway I channeled that into a ficlet already, too, which I'm also advertising at the end.

......has she just been sitting there for six episodes? Btw I wonder, if Jonathan is happily manipulating Lilith by faking positive emotions towards her I don't get why he totally fell for it every time Clary did the exact same thing to him.

THAT MALICIOUS SMILE HAHAHA THE LITTLE (S)ASS

1) SO SHE'S LITERALLY BEEN SITTING THERE FOR SIX EPISODES?!?!!?!?!

2) Why hello there Plot Point XD srsly why tf would Asmodeus use Magnus's magic instead of his own if, need I remind you, his own demonic magic is stronger than Magnus's, Magnus's wasn't even enough to destroy her demonic possession on Jace.... so why would Magnus's magic be enough to bind Lilith, the mother of that possession, to a room? Uh, lemme guess... Plot Convenience? So when, theory time!, Lilith is slayed he has no need for it anymore and can return it to Magnus?

“...to kill you while you were weakened.”

WOW WHAT A DELIVERY AMAZING

........I gotta be honest, I was really confused at his submissive behavior but then I realized... they have a 10 year history of these mechanisms, and slipping back into the pattern of things must be so easy. Also, I mean, that paints a really wonderful and peaceful image of his formative years, right?

Jimon Shipper Moment <3 ;) Look I don't even ship it, but their bickering is high-key amusing to me.

Instead of just standing between them from the get go? Why?

?????? I guess the incest runs in the family, pun not intended?????? Btw Jonathan's weird incest-y obsession makes so much sense now. If this is literally the only way he ever learned how “familial love” (Lilith Greater Demon Edition) is expressed I have no questions anymore. Seriously, he's so screwed over by everyone and it's just unfair. (On that note, glad we never had to see him make out with Valentine. Some things are just too terrible to envision. Damn, why did I say that, I should just shut up for all of our sakes.) Anyway, back to our favorite tortured soul here, I'm honestly not even sure if I can hold the incest thing against him any longer. His entire life consisted of being raised by Valentine, who kept him in a hut in the woods where he never got to see anyone but him, and then Edom where there was Lilith and demons. It makes a horrifying amount of sense that normal human norms mean nothing to him. He's never lived them, he's never witnessed them and maybe he doesn't even know them. So yeah. I guess I'll just add the incest thing on the long long list of things that are due to the stellar parenting he enjoyed, and not entirely his fault.

Damn so close to see my prognosis come true. Then again, I guess this was just the perfect timing because who knows if Lilith won't even help them now kill Jonathan because betrayal bla bla.

1) No need to twist the knife, then again this is Lorenzo so what am I even expecting.

2) WTF ARE THEY REALLY NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE?!?!?!??!?!

3) If it's like a transplanted organ being rejected by the body, just, idk, look for a different warlock whose magic fits Magnus better? There must be tests for that kind of thing? And even if there isn't, if you go slow and don't immediately portal all over the world plus end an encanto-coma you should be able to tell the magic doesn't fit pretty quickly without going into cardiac arrest. Magnus only got some nosebleed at first, remember, and it got worse only because he didn't slow down. I'm just saying, there would be Ways.

Wow I never realized before that he's actually got an undercut. Makes his hairstyle look even stupider.

Wow I believe this even less now than I did in 3x12.

“Let's hug in these trying times, but please make sure your face doesn't touch mine, otherwise people might draw the absurd and outrageous conclusion that we're in a relationship or something.”

Honestly. Their portrayal of casual intimacy is abysmal and I hate it.

1) The infirmary is very weird and open space for a place that should be easily closable if you need to contain, idk, sick people and their viruses and keep it sanitary. 2) I've been wondering since the start of the episode, did Lorenzo's pony tail get shorter? Wasn't it longer before? 3) At least Malec managed to make their feet intersect minimally, so yay for small mercies.

“One dose of Plot Convenience, coming right up.”

They're just.... gonna torture her? Really? I don't even have words for this. Oh no, I do:

Seriously. It's as if morality isn't a thing, and torturing a sentient being isn't always and under all circumstances a Wrong and Bad thing to do. Because clearly if the person receiving torture is just Evil Enough then it's okay. Thanks for standing by and doing nothing Simon, this is exactly the reason I hate your inconsistent streak on this matter. I don't even expect better from the born shadowhunters, and Clary is way to un-reflected to even twitch but. Ugh. Why am I even wasting my breath (my typing capacity?) on this. It's pointless.

Wow this is pointless, too. I mean, why is Izzy not interfering? She literally just fell down. She shouldn't be out of comission by this. Ugh.

Also ugh to Izzy slinging her whip around his hand instead of, idk, his whole upper body and his arms.

Also ugh to Simon waiting to attack Jonathan until the last second as a heroic saving move to save Izzy which, ugh.

But this here

#AwkwardGrownUpSquad

I'm honestly lol'ing so hard right now. Hahahaha this is just hilarious to me. Then again, who knows, maybe now they'll team up with Jonathan to kill Lilith and I'll get my hopes up again for a redemption arc XD

......................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Btw I bet you she copied that move from Doctor Strange.

lol another thing I didn't see coming.

1) Hello Hannibal lol 2) Who went in there and put restraints on him? 3) Who's gonna pay that Seelie actress now??

This scene was actually nice? I know, I'm surprised myself.

How convenient. I mean, good thing he didn't say “Glorious” otherwise Izzy might have thought he was asking for that one ESC song to be played at his funeral.

Please, Maryse, don't flatter yourself, all you had to do was scratch Elliot's corpse from the floor boards, the rest was already completely furnished.

..................................................................................................................bye

Look, while part of me is undeniably thrilled at the prospect – because while I was totally rooting for a Malec Wedding I was pretty sure it was an unachievable dream, just like hoping for Sheith – this is exactly what I mean with taking things at face value. Alec takes Magnus at his words (that he has doubts Alec will still love him now that he lost his powers) and so he thinks that a grand gesture of commitment will fix it.

But it won't, because that's not the problem. Or at least I hope it's not the problem, I mean if I lost my arm my main worry would be “Holy shit how am I gonna cope without my trusty appendage” not “What are the neighbors gonna think? Will I still be able to rock my favorite outfit without that limb?”

Anyway. I don't think this'll go over too well at this point in time. And honestly, Alec just realized at the beginning of this episode that he was fooled by Magnus's coping facade and tricked into thinking Magnus would be fine without his magic. And now Magnus has lost is magic again and Alec just... makes the same mistake again, blindly believing the words coming out of Magnus's mouth instead of taking a look for himself and seeing how Magnus is faring? Did he learn nothing from this? Alec. Why are you like this.

Anyway, conclusion time: This episode was way more reasonably paced than the last, the shit decision making was kept to a minimum (except for the part where they, y'know, summon Lilith back to earth) and Jace gets a diligence starlet for displaying common sense.

And now, self advertisement time! I wrote three ficlets: a) a continuation of the scene with Alec and Lorenzo b) a gap-bridging Malec scene set after the “I won't lose you” line and finally c) a what-I'd-like-to-see-happen-in-3x17-fic where Alec tells Izzy about his proposal plans.

I'd be thrilled if you checked one of them out. Until next time XD

(Gif Source)

[righthererightzao]

Zaoka Reviews: Rayman

Platform: PSX Release Date: September 1995 Developed By: UbiSoft Published By:  UbiSoft Screenshot Source: https://raymanpc.com/wiki/en/Main_Page

Hey folks, I thought I’d try something a bit new with my blog, alongside my usual content of screenshots, RP write-ups and Asks, and so I’m starting a little review series on the side where I’ll be looking at games both old and new (or in between in the case of the recent remakes that have been coming out!). Figured I’d start with one of my favourites! It’s safe to say that Rayman on the Sony Playstation holds a very special place in my heart, it’s one of the first games I owned on the console next to Crash Bandicoot, and it’s one of the few games next to Final Fantasy IX, Aliens Versus Predator 2 and Alien: Isolation (We’ll get to those soon) that I could happily play each year and not get bored of it. Mind you, it is hard to be bored of something when over time you find yourself being slowly consumed by a fury that knows no bound threatening to rend the controller you hold in your very hands in two when it reaches critical mass! We’ll save that for later though!

 When we start of the game we’re given an animated cut-scene in which we are greeted by one of the side characters known as “The Magician” who fills us in on the backstory. We’re told how everything is hunky dory in the world of Rayman thanks to something known as The Great Protoon which keeps everything in balance. Alas this peace is not to last as the main villain of the game, Mr Dark up and steels the Protoon causing a bunch of small folks called the Electoons to scatter across the corners of the world where they are kidnapped by Mr Dark’s minions, and more distressingly, we’re never told what became of the Neutoon. Declaring the need for a hero, we’re then introduced to the titular character as he lazes on a hammock and giving us a casual thumb up!

With our mission clear we can start the game and find ourselves being drawn in by the visuals of the game. The levels are beautifully designed, with each stage baring all kinds of neat little details, such as the dancing flowers and the little mushrooms that pile on top of each other (only to fall down shortly after) in the forest of dreams. Not only that, there is the music, which I think is one of the best parts of the game itself. The music is unforgettable, with a wide range of tones from upbeat and adventurous tunes in the earlier stages which slowly becomes more sombre as you near the end of your adventure, and then there’s the track used in the “Chase” segments of certain levels that used to cause a younger me to panic as soon as I heard the crash of the gong that heralded the impending that was slowly drawing nearer. Then we get to the final stage, the candy chateau, ready for our final showdown with Mr. Dark, and clown music happens.

Moving onto the game play, Rayman is a 2D side scrolling platformer where you traverse a wide variety of levels rescuing tiny little critters called Electoons from captivity while combating a host of freakish enemies under the employ of Mr. Dark, the games main antagonist. When you start off you only have the ability to walk at a brisk pace, jump, climb and make silly faces to scare away these lanky green safari hunter looking dudes. As you progress through the game you are given new abilities by Betilla the Fairy, ranging from a punching attack to launch your enemies into orbit or clear obstacles, to a sprint ability.

As well as rescuing Electoons, you find 1up trophies that grant an extra life and these little blue sparkling gems called ‘Tings’ which each play a musical tune when you pick them up, making it all the more satisfying to pick them up in rapid succession in order to play out their own little melody. Not only that, but collecting 100 tings grants you an extra life, and if you have a certain amount of tings when going through a level you can pay the Magician to take you to a bonus level where you can earn an extra life upon completion.

Alongside various types of enemies, the levels also contain a boat load of hazards to avoid, many of which can result in instant death in the form of rivers (both good old fashioned H20 and in Picture city, Ink), bottomless pits and spike traps. Not only that but walking over certain parts of a level can trigger a “surprise” often signalled by a small twinkling sound. These surprises can be beneficial as a 1up trophy or an Electoon cage. Most of the time it’s a bunch of dudes about to ruin your day.

Raymans movements are also a bit on the slow side, and jumping can be a little bit floaty, with some instances requiring some precision jumping from the player when it comes to how fast some of the platforms can move over the aforementioned instant death traps. Not only that, but is Rayman is hurt by anything he yelps and is pushed back a space which can make any platform over an instant death pit a soul crushing experience when you accidentally clip an enemy, or an environmental hazard only for Rayman to go plummeting to his death. This experience isn’t helped by the track that plays upon any death, which can only be described as the loosing horn from hell and they would have achieved a similar effect by recording Michel Ancel screaming“Y’DONE MESSED UP SON”.

With that I move onto the next point and this tends to be the largest criticism of the game, the difficulty curve, ye gods, the difficulty curve. The difficulty curve can only be summed up thus; The first zone in the game ‘The Dream Forest’ moves at relatively decent pace, with the difficulty increasing steadily but always in a fair way as the game tests the skills you’ve picked up so far, leading you to the first boss of the game, Moskito. Once beaten, you get the ability to swing and also grab faraway objects like 1up trophies from a distance and that allows you to replay the previous levels to get any of the missing Electoons, completing the zone with each level bearing a giant purple smiley face. You feel good! You’re making progress, you’re going to move onto a whole new zone now! Then Band Land happens, and the difficulty curve decides it want’s to explore neighbouring star systems and takes you along for the ride. 

With the introduction of slippery slopes and the “surprise” ambushes the game suddenly turns into an obstacle course of outlandish proportions, and can feel unfair at times as it begins to feel more like going through trial and error than anything else, and as both health and the number of continues are limited, this can make each subsequent death all the more frustrating. On top of that the Electoons become increasingly harder to find and every missed Electoon cage means you have to replay the stage til you get all of them otherwise you won’t be able to complete the game, as the final level is gated off until you get every single Electoon Cage. I actually have vivid memories of playing this as a kid and there was one Electoon cage that I just could not find and it almost drove me to tears, and then... I found the cage!... Completely by accident! only to die on my last life and my very last continue. To say I was upset was an understatement, as at the time we couldn’t afford a memory card and had to save my progress through writing down passwords on a diary, said passwords only registering 100% completion on any given level.. so if you miss an Electoon on one level, as soon as you continue via password you have to get every. Single. Electoon cage in that level all over again.

Despite all that, though I never felt like the game was impossible, with each failure I just pushed myself to do better, I wanted to see what new places it would take me to, go up against the new challenges they presented to me, and ultimately it all paid off. I finally got through to the Candy Chateau, and while the fight with Mr. Dark wasn’t what I’d hoped it was for all the effort I had to go through, seeing the end credits with the little “Where are they now” style pictures going by made it worth it. To this day I still think Rayman on the PSX is a great game, despite it’s flaws. Even with Raymans ponderous movement speed, there’s an oddly satisfying flow to the game, and it was really cool seeing how Michel Ancel would then go on to build upon and improved how each level flowed in Rayman: Origins and Rayman: Legends.

I had lost my copy of the game a while ago, but thankfully the game is up on the PS Store under PSOne-Classics going for £3.99 and can be played on the PSP and the PS Vita!

Thanks for reading folks! Hope this will be helpful in some way and folks enjoy it! Is this something you think I should continue doing? Are there any games you’d like me take a look at in future, or maybe share your own thoughts on the game itself, please let me know! Til next time, have fun n’ take care!

[ajninami-fr-blog]

The Ex

Long text post, personal. Possibly worth your time.

@moonlitdergs @zerohour-fr

And here it begins.

I was driving home from work one evening (about 20 min give or take speeding) and decided I would call my (now ex) boyfriend to chat with. We live about 45 minutes away from each other and with our busy lives we rarely get a chance to talk/see each other uninterrupted, so calls like these were normal. During this particular phone call, no matter what I tried to say or tell him he would only respond with short, uninterested answers. After about 15 minutes of this I finally asked him what was wrong, as he had been fine earlier in the day.

This lovely boyfriend of mine says that he is simply “testing” me, with no coherent explanation as to why. I decided to let this slide as I did with many other things I shouldn’t have, and continued trying to converse with him. After I had finally run out of things to try to start a conversation with, I stopped talking. Just maintained straight silence with him until I got home and parked in my garage. I told him I was home and that if he didn’t have anything to talk about I would be going to sleep (keep in mind this is late at night). He immediately launched into one of his “find out what’s wrong with AJ” speeches and would not let me end the call until I “tell him what’s wrong.”

To put it simply, I dumped him. And not in a mean or cruel way, I simply let him know that I was not into this relationship anymore and I felt it was time we went our separate ways. He breaks down (as usual), I block him because I know what’s coming *you’ll understand why later*. This happened a week or two before our one year anniversary.

To say that I felt a burden lifted from my shoulders is an understatement. I literally skipped into the house singing a random song at the top of my lungs. I wrestled with my dog to her excitement and my pleasure at the feeling of not having to go check my phone for the latest boring small talk lest I risk a full-blown investigation into my life choices. I took a nice, hot shower. I went to bed early, and have never slept better in my life...

And then I woke up. My mother was standing there, gently shaking me awake. I pulled myself up from my groggy state and asked her what the matter was. “(Let’s call him Conner) Conner is in the driveway.” “...whaat?” “Conner is in the driveway, do you want me to tell him to leave?” I sat up straight. Oh no. No. No no no no. I started laughing, as by this point I was not surprised at all. All care for this emotional abuser of mine was wiped clean when I liberated myself last night. I told my mother to leave him there, I would go up and talk to him. She left, and I got up. I took my time, getting dressed, brushing my teeth, having a nice breakfast. Conner stayed the entire time, sadly, so I decided to go grace him with my newfound independent presence.

I walked outside into the morning sunshine, embraced it for a moment, then turned to look at the pit of despair that I used to claim I loved *for the purposes of preventing him having an emotional breakdown. His face was stained with tears, a crusty beard poked out of his face, his unkempt hair I always thought was dead-looking had a particularly poignant screw-it-all feel today. I said hello a few times, but he wouldn’t acknowledge me, so I humored his attempt to control me one more time and walked his way, the feeling of power growing with every step I took of my own accord.

Finally he looked at me with his ugly eyes I always hated, and said the most shocking, unpredictable phrase I have ever heard to this day: “I wanted to say goodbye.” I wasn’t quite sure what to say, but decided the obvious would do: “You said that last night.” He gave me a dirty look, as though I had foiled some grand dramatic plan he had thought out. I couldn’t imagine why. He held up a shiny penny, as he always used to give them to me for the one cute thing he did. “I want you to have this.” *please note, he is ever so slowly starting to cry* I, again, chose the route of not playing along: “why?” His anger and frustration was beginning to rise, but I felt justified. “I want you to remember me with this.” I took the penny from him, looked at it for a moment, then tried to give it back. “I think you want to remember this more than I do, I’m just going to throw it away.” After some pointless back and forth about it I stuffed the penny in my pocket. “Well, you’ve said goodbye.” He started to cry, tears running down his face. I felt a twinge of guilt at leaving him, and in my final attempt to be the better person I gave him an awkward, but well-meaning hug that he accepted. I started to walk away but not before watching the grown man crumple into a ball on the ground sobbing my name like the man from the “leave britney alone” videos. Trying to hold back my laughter at the hilarity of the scene, I called my dogs away from licking his stricken, fetal form, and walked back into my house.

My parents greeted me and asked how I was doing. “Oh, I’m okay. He isn’t though, he’s laying on the ground crying.” My father decided to go out and confront him, while I watched a particularly shiny penny fall out of my pocket into a nearby trash can. After a few minutes, I watched Conner’s small car speed out of our driveway, and take off down the road. I found it odd that he would do that until I realized I had taken his goal away from him. The last time he showed up at my house crying to take him back, I did. And now he was like a child getting a toy taken away. Ah well, what’s done is done.

...But I was mad. I was furious. This child had taken it upon himself to do the very thing I specifically told him not to do again: invade my and my family’s persona space uninvited. I had tried to go through with this breakup in a mature way, but he had the gall to show up at my house crying his snots out in a manipulative attempt to get me back. I was done being “mature”.

I stormed down to my room and grabbed the corsages from proms and homecomings past, and carried them to my bathroom. I stopped and picked up a particular necklace on the way. I stared at these things in the bathroom, trying to figure out what sort of emotional expression I could come up with for these reminders of my horrendous relationship. It only took a moment for inspiration to come upon me, however:

Just imagine a video of me lighting a corsage on fire with a match here, captioned: “when you burn your ex’s shit ‘cause they made you feel like hell” **phone did not properly save video**

And last but by no means least:

It was a glorious time, I felt refreshed. People were sending me quite a few snapchats asking what was wrong, but I simply responded with “nothing. I feel amazing actually.” But I had forgotten to remove one very important person...

His sister.

We feuded over snapchat long into the night *I have screenshots of the convo that contain a lot of the reasons why I broke up with him, but the gist of it is that he was emotionally manipulative/abusive and I didn’t feel like I could get out - let me know if you want to see them*, but eventually I grew tired of it and brought the fight to an end (I won for the record).

I blocked her, everything was fine and dandy. My world had opened up. I could look at actually cute boys without feeling guilty but justified at the same time, I realized that girls weren’t so bad after all, it was wonderful. My life was so much better...

Until about a month later.

Mailtime, Mailtime, Mailtime, Mailtime, MAAAILTIIIIME

Here's the mail, it never fails It makes me want to wag my tail When it comes I wanna wail, MAAAAAAAAAAAAIL *indirectly copied from bluesclues.wikia.com, vowels added for effect*

“Oooh, I have mail? No return address??” My curiosity knowing no bounds, I immediately opened the letter.

I’ll just leave this here:

WHAT.

WHAT IS THIS.

1. YOU TRIED TO USE YOUR FRIEND DYING TO GET ME BACK

2. YOU TRIED TO NARRATE MY REACTION AND WERE COMPLETELY WRONG WHILST DOING IT BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW ME AT ALL

3. IT HAS BEEN 3 WEEKS SINCE WE BROKE UP YOU ARE NOT DIFFERENT

4. IF YOU ACTUALLY FOUND GOD YOU WOULD SAY YOU FOUND GOD INSTEAD OF RELIGION I’M A PASTOR’S CHILD I KNOW A FAKER WHEN I SEE ONE

5. you lost ten pounds. that i told you to lose. *single clap*

6. YOU DIDN’T PUT ANY SELF-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION IN HERE BECAUSE YOU AREN’T SURE OF MY ADDRESS AFTER DATING ME FOR PRETTY MUCH A YEAR HOW. HOW. GOOGLE MAPS IT LITERALLY.

7. this is creepy as hell and im officially scared good for you good job

After receiving this and receiving good advice from three different people not to respond... I responded. Very angrily, might I add. I laid out the reason that this is unacceptable, that no means no. And he read those messages, ignored their contents, and started talking about how he wanted to use this as an opportunity to get to know each other again.

I re-blocked him. But I was seething at this boy’s relentless attack on my right to say no, my right to be my own person away from his control. *Example: I couldn’t talk to my male friends without giving him their names, where I met them, what we were talking about, etc.*

Cut to Christmas day, where I am filling in my brother on this dramatic and somewhat hilarious progression of events. I went into my phone’s blocked messages to show him some of the details of the conversations, and lo-and-behold. “Merry Christmas AJ.” HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG. AS WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HIM.

And now, just a day or two ago, I saw his car (year, color, and model) parked on the road a little ways down from my house. I passed it on my way home from work and there looked to be a familiar face inside the car with another person. Coincidence? 

-CUT-

Sorry this is so long wow. I hope it amused you as much as it has amused me. He’s kind of a running joke among my family and friends now. “wow, this person just doesn’t know when to quit...” “YOU MEAN LIKE CONNER?” *cue incessant laughing followed by immediate sadness over the fact that this is an event that happened in my life*

PSA:

But in all honesty. If someone is trying to control you, to manipulate you. Get out. If they tell you that they know your feelings better than you do, and that you’re just telling yourself you don’t like/love that person, get out. You know better than anyone else what you are feeling and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. This was my first relationship, and regrettably may be my last for a while. I have been wounded emotionally by this person and cannot see myself participating in another for a long time. Honestly I was going to give up forever until I watched the anime Yuri on Ice and realized that there are actually good relationships out there. This story does not go into any sort of depth as to what I was experiencing. Take it seriously, don’t let yourself get hurt.