#derp trains

[spaceumbredoggos]

I want a cat. But my dog hates cats. So I will move out one day. Get a cat. Worship said cat. Maybe an orange cat and a black cat. I love cats. Cats are cute little assholes. You don’t really have to train them. Cats bury their poop and will lecture you about clean litter boxes. They enslave their humans and that’s all I want out of a pet.

I uh… have a power struggle problem. I like being bossed around by nonsensical means. Including cats and my bossy Australian cattle dog. Um… Yeah.

Also, cats love to cuddle. Cats bring you gifts. My cats will be indoor cats because I can’t imagine my babies surviving in the wild. When I move out, hopefully my streaming career has taken off so that I can stay with them all the time. Also, I will get leashes for them, socializing them with dogs, and take them to a hiking trail. Idk. I want to give them the best lives possible.

[roslingoblin]

Let me do it for you

[matrixriot]

hey. are you alive?

your heavy eyes stared up at the ceiling of your dorm room. there you lay in bed and it was too hot and too cold. half of your body was absolutely surrounded in your pillows and blankets, while the other half was sweating.

you undoubtedly had a cold.

you also had a major test that you spent all night studying for.

karma, i guess?

so there you were, laying flat, while trying to use your phone to call one of your classmates. you just needed at least one of them to answer so they could let mr. aizawa know you weren't going to make it to the exam.

'god, why today of all days' you thought.

scrolling through your contacts, you eventually landed on kirishima's. no way your own boyfriend wouldn't answer your call.

but you also knew he was probably doing some early morning training. so you decided to leave him a couple of texts.

you: kiri im sick :(

you: can you tell aizawa so he doesnt try to kill me when i show up again

you: whenever i show up again

you: if i show up again D:

you turned off your phone and rolled onto your side. a couple minutes later, you heard a buzz from your phone, but you couldn't muster the energy to roll over again to check who it was.

a couple more minutes later, you heard a gentle knock on your door. you couldn't even bring yourself to get up, so you groaned loudly in reply, hoping whoever it was would try coming in.

you hear the doorknob twisting and the door softly creaking open. you hear some shuffling footsteps and the sound of a plastic bag in someone's hands.

"hi." the mystery person says.

you could recognize that voice anywhere.

"...i am here to be your nurse."

'god, he's such a derp' you thought before bringing your torso up from your bed to see,

"KIRI!" you exclaim.

"hi baby." he says, smiling brightly at you. he points at the plastic bag in his hands.

"i brought you some medicine and porridge." kirishima sets it down at a table before going towards your bed.

"oh, don't touch me, i'm all sick, haha." you say, putting your hands up, waving them defensively.

kirishima gently grabs your wrists, "it's okay."

he puts your wrist down before going to the plastic bag to get something. you flop back down onto your mattress and exhale deeply.

a couple minutes go by, kirishima is still fumbling around in the plastic bag, and you're still lying down in silence.

"hey. are you alive? you haven't said a peep!" kirishima teases, before walking back around to your bed. he was holding a damp cloth. he brought one of his hands to your back, helping you up. his hand rests on your back as he hands you the cloth. you bring it up to your forehead.

"wait. is it too hot or too cold, or should i-" kirishima panics.

"it's perfect." you respond, a soft smile on your face. a blush creeps up onto kirishima's face before he quickly turns around.

"LET ME GET YOU THAT PORRIDGE BEFORE IT GETS COLD" he exclaims.

you noticed the awkwardness in his voice and your eyes scanned the room in a somewhat confusion.

you chuckle to yourself before bringing the washcloth down, somewhat in shame.

"this is humiliating." you say in disappointment. here you were, being a nuisance to your boyfriend, when you knew that there was a still a big exam that he could be preparing for.

kirishima swiftly turned around, bowl of porridge in hand, and walked back up to your side.

"um excuse me." kirishima started "there is nothing humiliating about needing a little help. also, you're sick! it's only the manly thing for me to help my beautiful girlfriend."

he brought a spoonful of porridge up to your mouth, and you, in defeat, opened your mouth. kirishima fed you the porridge until the bowl was empty. he whispered little affirmations like "good job" "there you go" as you ate.

you then asked, "so you're not mad at me?"

kirishima looked at you in confusion.

"mad at you? my girlfriend? mad at my girlfriend for being sick?"

kirishima set the bowl down on your bedside table before sitting down on his knees beside your bed.

"you're sick. that's not your fault. im just here to take care of you. okay?"

you huff. "okay" you gently replied.

kirishima got up, giving you a forehead kiss.

"now, as much as i'd love to be your little nurse all day, i still have a test to take."

you smile up at him.

"mmkay. i'll be waiting for you." you say.

"just rest for me." kirishima says, before walking out your dorm, shutting the door behind him.

your heavy-lidded eyes soon shut, feeling relaxed. you take a nice nap, waiting for your lovely boyfriend to return.

-

when you wake up, your eyes are met to kirishima, leaning his head on your bed, asleep! he was knelt down by your bedside, arms folded acting like a cushion for his head.

you brush his bright red locks out of his eyes and stare lovingly back.

his eyes flutter open.

"hi again," you say.

me when sick y/n needs her manly bf to take care of her (>'-'<)

[datlokibumtho]

EDIT: I said I'd add more, and so I shall. I swear, the more I rewatch it, the more abserdity crosses my mind. I forgot some, so I'll add those when I remember them.

Rewatching the Mugen Train Arc, and there are a few things I noticed that I shall now share with you. I will add more as I think of them.

▪︎Rengoku's mom is hot

▪︎You will never be able to convince me we didn't see Akaza's O Face during that final attack.

▪︎Why didn't Akaza just drag Rengoku along with him to escape? All that oomf he has, and you're telling me one dude is too heavy? Nezuko can carry someone easily while in baby mode and was strong enough to curbstomp Daki, and you're telling me Akaza, Upper Three, the fourth most powerful demon in existence can't drag one guy along for the ride while bailing? I'm calling that shit hard.

▪︎Tanjirou's VA knocked this shit out of the park.

▪︎I call bullshit that Rengoku didn't activate his Demon Slayer Mark during all that.

¤ Edit: I now know why that didn't happen, so nevermind this one.

▪︎While we're on the topic of Rengoku, can I just briefly express my confusion as to his dream of choice when Enmu put him to sleep? Out of everything he could have dreamed, all the scenarios his mind could have conjured up, he chose "that one time I did something extraordinary and my dad didn't give a shit" followed by any given day of the week. Tanjirou got his family back, Zenitsu got to spend time with the girl he loved, Inosuke got to do whatever the fuck that was...and Rengoku's got an alcoholic father who doesn't give a hair on a witch's tit if his kids live or die, a mom that's still dead from illness, and last Tuesday, the Tuesday before that, and the Tuesday before that, also known as his everyday life. Why? He could have had a father that was a presentable human being again, a mother that wasn't dead or ill, a happy life...and he bypassed all of that. Just. Fucking. Why.

¤Edit: upon further thought and some amateur analysis of his psyche, the dream probably revolved more around time with his brother, or his boundless optimism making him think every day is a gift or worth celebrating or special somehow. Or maybe he just has a really bad imagination.

▪︎Rengoku just gave Enmu his first brush with heartburn.

▪︎Look up the lyrics to Homura by LiSA, and I believe you will join me in saying fuck whoever chose the music. Why they gotta do that? Why?

▪︎Get you a man that's an absolute goober, a total badass, a complete and utter derp, a major sweetheart, and a super serious hot mess all at once. Get you a Flame Hashira. Get you Rengoku Kyoujurou.

▪︎"I'm a box lunch vendor" wasn't suspicious until he said it wasn't suspicious. Then it became suspicious.

▪︎Rengoku moving his ass like "Total Consentrstion Fuck You I'm A Hashira" speed mode activated. "Ecceleration Mode", for anyone that's up on older anine.

▪︎Pigtails runnin' her way through Rengokus dream world like the edge isn't invisible and she was at zero risk of slamming face first into it.

▪︎God damn, Tanjirou, right between the man-titties. Rude as fuck.

▪︎Tanjirou: smells blood in a snow storm, Muzan in the middle of Tokyo, identifies people by their scents after only meeting them once, can smell character traits

Rengoku: two cars down from them, chowing away at bento, unnoticed

Zenitsu: hears thing down to a celluar level and can figure out what something's species and intent are based solely of of their sounds of existsnce

Rengoku: two cars down from them, practically yelling "tasty" repeatedly, unnoticed

Inosuke: has super insane instincts and the ability to lock onto things miles away

Renkgoku: STILL just two cars down from them, living his best life with a crapton of bento, unnoticed

Tanjirou/Zenitsu/Inosuke: "Wonder where the Flame Hashira is."

▪︎Slasher demon: "No one's faster than me!"

The Other Speedy Stripy Boi Of The Mugrn Train Arc: "Destructive Death: Kick-Your-Ass-Faster-Than-The-Speed-Of-Sound-You-Scrub Type."

▪︎Rengoku's Dream World: sunshine, daisies, and fatherly rejection

Rengoku's Subconscious: flaming hellscape

Enmu's Lackey: "What the flip flap fuck is going on with this man?"

▪︎Enmu: shocked Zenitsu did anything while under his spell

The rest of us: "Yeah, it was always gonna go that way, chief."

BONUS: ORIGINAL WATCHTHROUGH THOUGHTS

▪︎My thought process through my original watchthrough eons ago: "Rengoku is a silly mans. Rengoku is kinda cool. Rengoku is utterly endearing. Rengoku is awesome. Rengoku is one BAMF. RENGOKU IS DEAD."

▪︎My almost simultaneous thought process through my original watchthrough eons ago: "I can't believe he dies, he's so amazing and wonderful and i love him. Ok, he dies in this fight, and now that i know the man, i instantly hate whoever did it. Oh no, he's HOT! My emotions are very mixed right now. My emotions are completely decided in their stance, and I am getting teary-eyed over yet another ficticious character."

▪︎My afterthoughts of my original watchthrough eons ago: "Akaza is the absolute worst, that pretty face, hot body and smooth af voice cannot change that. Wow, Muzan was mean to him after he did his damndest. My opinion can not change now that I have seen Senjurou, he is a wonderful little cinnamonroll, and Akaza must remain the worst. He can be terrible and still look good. I mean, are he and his utterly whorish waist and very lovely, somewhat delicately featured face really to blame or is Muzan or psychosis of some kind? Wow, that's a nice hourglass physique and horribly tragic backstory."

▪︎End conclusion from my original watchthrough eons ago: "My opinion of Rengoku has done a 180. I would die for Senjurou. I will probably never truly like Rengoku Shinjurou despite understanding that grief and disillusionment do strange things to people. Akaza is too hot, broken, and in a weird way endearing and lovable to hate. I loves me a tragic backstory and damaged man. I DO NOT HAVE A NEW SHIP I DO NOT HAVE A NEW SHIP I DO NOT HAVE A NEW SHIP"

▪︎I had a new ship

[demonmew25]

How They Wrap Christmas Presents

Just some head canons I thought of while wrapping gifts the other day 😅

Muzan

He will use fancy wrapping paper. Some shit he bought in some posh shop somewhere.

He likes decent quality wrapping paper.

Will either have everything wrapped weeks before Christmas or will be last minute wrapping everything Christmas Eve.

Is surprisingly very bad at wrapping present.

The present is like 90% tape, good luck opening it. He just wants to make sure the gift is safe 🥺

He also doesn't want to accidentally rip the wrapping with his bitch ass claws.

Perhaps he will get you a pair of scissors to open gifts with next Christmas (if you can open them that is).

Kokushibo

He will put in the effort with wrapping.

Dude will even tie up all of his gifts in pretty ribbons.

Colour coordinated name tags matching the ribbons.

He starts wrapping his presents right at the beginning of December. This boi is organised and everything is under the Christmas tree ready to be opened 🤗

Makes a mess wrapping but will tidy after himself.

Douma

Very lazy with gifts.

Will probably wrap your gift in tinfoil.

"I am the gift sweetie!" He says "besides, tinfoil is Christmassy, they use it to wrap the turkey!". 😌

Will probably gift you a picture of him, he is a cult leader after all 😂

Speaking of, if he's feeling particularly lazy he will get his cult members to wrap his presents for him.

He may also bully some of the lower members of the Kizuki into doing his wrapping. Babygirl doesn't want to get his nails chipped.

Very messy when wrapping presents and will leave mess everywhere.

Akaza

He's not really a Christmas fan.

Would rather be out fighting or training to get stronger

If he likes you enough though, he will get you a little something 😄

Just uses basic wrapping paper but will make enough effort when wrapping.

Will definitely have a go at Douma for being lazy and using tinfoil instead of wrapping paper.

Kokushibo then has a go at Akaza for having a go at Douma, he's like "know your place bitch!".

Afterwards Akaza pouts in a corner, "I fucking hate this family!" 😠

And for funsies I thought I'd add Mew since she's in my comics a lot too 😂

Also uses way too much tape.

"Ooooh sparkly wrapping paper!"

Draws silly pictures all over the wrapping paper too. Some are obscene.

Makes a mess and forgets to tidy after herself.

She likes to buy thoughtful presents that will make everyone happy. 😸

Will probably accidentally wrap herself up instead of the present. Haha derp!

I don't normally do HC's but thought I would give it a go, as a Christmas treat 😸

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! 🥰

[catgrandpa]

I just thought of the most ooc Jason Todd headcanon and I can’t stop laughing.

Imagine him still using the teen slang from when he died. Like idk how it would work with current canon, but I can’t stop picturing Red Hood using the slang from when I was fifteen.

Awesome sauce. Awkward turtle. Derp.

About to jump off a train “YOLO! Well, not me, but you fucking know what I mean.”

[lunarsilkscreen]

On Social Capital, The a Military, Executive Hazing, and the Illuminati

I assure you; this is not going where you want it to go.

Beginning before my last enlistment and enrollment in a training materials development squadron; many of us (My Team) were selected to be placed on terrorists watch lists.

Some of you were placed there because of me, and some where placed there because of you. It's hard to tell since us derps were marked as an elaborate underground group thanks to us just being Online Derps, Derping online together.

Even though we didn't know we were each other; the government, especially the NSA knew. And because of this; and black hat hackers; 4-chan; Guy Faukes; Anonymous; and Reddit

Because the NSA knew we were linked in all these ways; but we didn't; we looked like this amorphous blob of *Scary*.

And then Bread Tube popped into existence.

Guess who's responsible for making breadtube?

I mean, guess who the fans of Bread Tube are?

Guess who the incels and Manosphere is?

It us; *we* are the problem; We are *also* not the problem.

That's why we're here right now.

Because after frustrating ALL THE THREE-LETTER-AGENECIES with so much random bullshit you will learn at a later date; and just... Laugh at how obvious it is in hindsight.

Because that's all we can do *is* laugh... When you find out your literal life was on the line because of the way you played video games.

That's why we scare the agencies. Because we figured it out *while* they were still piecing things together. Because we are literally expert tactical minds who have been literally training in secret for decades...

My Fellow Americans... We *are* the Battle School to European Hogwarts. And yes; that sounded exactly as stupid as I thought it would despite the truth that makes it reality.

And instead of doing terrorist things... We did reverse Terrorism*every* step of the way. We literally passed the prisoner's dilemma with flying colors because of the "Power of Friendship" and having played too many psychological thrillers...

Mostly because we didn't know what the fuck was going on; and because of our desire to make the world around us a better place.

For me; They took away my Pets, My Family, My Belongings, and even made it impossible for me to get any money for several months where I literally starved.

If you're wondering why I lost all that weight...

And then they did the same things to my friends...

They also found *my* wife in the process. Which... Let me tell you... Was a *whole thing*...

Imagine somebody arrests and interrogates you for being *my*(of all people's) love interest... And then you find out that you actually hate that person because they're your Rival.

And then your Rival is also your teammate; and now you have to spend two years of therapy just to make sure it isn't some *elaborate* Stockholm syndrome...

Yeah, I through up at the mushiness of it all too. It's absolutely dizzying and terrifying.

This particular system the NSA has perfected to Identify people like *us*... Literally "Dark Celebrities." It has been used *solely* for the purposes of Anti-Terrorism and Anti-Narcotic endeavors.

And we have a chance to dismantle or change this system to work better for all Americans.

Congrats everyone, We're popular. Yay. It's everything we ever dreamed it would be.

Get ready to go to work.

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack!AU: ✨The Fave Banned Songs of The 24 OG Mentors✨

A friend of mine asked me to list the Mentors’ favorite banned (100% illegal in Panem) songs in my TBOSAS Crack!AU.

So here they are:

1. Coriolanus Snow (Sugar Baby Era)

Snow On The Beach by T. Swift & Lana

Radio by Lana Del Rey

Careless Whisper by George Michael

Bloom by Troye Sivan (For Sejanus)

“Sl*t!” By Taylor Swift (For Sejanus)

2. Sejanus Plinth (Sugar Daddy Era)

Beautiful People by Ed Sheeran

Jenny by Studio Killers (For Coryo)

Lover by Taylor Swift (For Coryo)

Hey Blondie by Dominic Fike (For Coryo)

Ride by SoMo (For Coryo)

3. Festus Creed (Dumpster Fire Era)

We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus

Last Friday Night by Katy Perry

All Star by Smash Mouth

Honeypie by JAWNY

Chicken Nugget Dreamland by Parry Grip

4. Lysistrata Vickers (Crazy Fangirl Era)

Wannabe by Spice Girls

Barbie Dreams by FIFTY FIFTY, Kaliii

Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles

Starman by David Bowie

Groupie by Cate

5. Felix Ravinstill (Class President Era)

Under Pressure by Queen, David Bowie

Touchy Feely Fool by AJR

The Hype by Twenty One Pilots

Kingdom Come by Jon Bellion

This is What Makes Us Girls by Lana

6. Persephone Price (Unhinged Lover Era)

Candy by Unknown Brain

Crush by Tessa Violet

Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max

I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen

7. Clemensia Dovecote (Friend-zoned Era)

Still Into You by Paramore

Your Type by Carly Rae Jepsen

Midnight Love by Girl in Red

Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton

8. Livia Cardew (Rich Queen Era)

7 Rings by Ariana Grande

Material Girl by Madonna

Barbie World by Nicki Minaj, Ice Spice

9. Androcles Anderson (Sneaky Sneak Era)

Stand Up by One Direction

Cake By The Ocean by DNCE

Drive By by Train

Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson

10. Hilarius Heavensbee (Disowned Clown Era)

Birthday Party by AJR

Sad Happy by Circa Waves

SugarCrash! By ElyOtto

Thomas Theme by Thomas & Friends

11. Palmyra Monty (Chef on Crack Era)

Cooking by The Book by Lazy Town

Raining Tacos by Parry Grip

Fruit Salad by The Wiggles

Krusty Krab by Trap Remix

12. Apollo Ring (Sunshine Boi Era)

Oh Potato Dog by Parry Grip

Sunroof by Nicky Youre, Dazy

Sunkissed by Khai Dreams

Come On Eileen by Dexys M.R

13. Diana Ring (Pastel Peach Era)

Rainbow Magic by Rosanna Pansino

Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY (Twin Ver.)

Penguin On Me by Schmoyoho

My Little Pony Theme by My Little Pony

14. Vipsania Sickle (Gym Gal Era)

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! By ABBA

Eye of The Tiger by Survivor

YMCA by Village People

15. Gaius Breen (Hype Man Era)

Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson, Bruno Mars

The Nights by Avicii

Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes

16. Dennis Fling (Trader Joe’s Era)

Billionaire by Travis McCoy, Bruno Mars

Money, Money, Money by ABBA

MONEY by LISA

17. Pliny Harrington (Sleepy Dawg Era)

The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars

Some Nights by Fun

Saturday by Twenty One Pilots

18. Domitia Whimsiwick (Farm Gal Era)

Everything She Ain’t by Hailey Whitters

If You Go Down by Kelsea Ballerini

WWDD by Lainey Wilson

Biscuits by Kacey Musgraves

19. Urban Canville (Exploding Man Era)

World’s Smallest Violin by AJR

All Time Low by Jon Bellion

When I was Done Dying by Dan Deacon

The Pi Song by AsapSCIENCE

20. Io Jasper (Nerd in Love Era)

Boys by Charli XCX

What Lovers Do by Maroon 5, SZA

Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen

The Science Love Song by AsapSCIENCE

21. Florus Friend (Introvert on Stage Era)

Dreamland by Glass Animals

Loretta by Ginger Root

Herp De Derp by Schmoyoho

22. Iphigenia Moss (Rebellious Diet Era)

Boom Clap by Charli XCX

Popular Song by MIKA, Ariana Grande

Prom Dress by mxmtoon

23. Juno Phipps (Royal Baby Girl Era)

Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani, Eve

Dance The Night by Dua Lipa

California Gurls by Katy Perry

24. Arachne Crane (Screeching Banshee Era)

Beautiful Trauma by P!nk

Super Bass by Nicki Minaj

Primadonna by MARINA

[hmshermitcraft]

For the pirate theme: The hermitcraft crew is known for all of the crew members being some type of non-human. Among them isn’t a single human and the crew feels safer than ever because of that.

Except their captain, Xisuma, is human.

He didn’t mean to hide it. It just never came up, and then more non-humans joined his crew, then some old members, humans with bigotry, had to be…disposed of. Before he knew it the entire crew was nonhuman and they had assume he was too since his mask was “ominous” (he painted it pink for an entire year once).

So, in fear of awkwardness and losing trust, he just changes the subject and doesn’t correct the others. As far as his hermits know, he is a nonhuman like them.

This lie holds up for years, before X gets injured Bad and suddenly, the hermits have to deal with the fact that their strong captain is a human man with fragile bones and easily cut skin.

-TeratoTomato (polyhermits either established or endgame, could go either way)

Xisuma feared the hermits would want to be rid of him. He'd understand if they held mutiny after finding he's the very thing that hurt so many of them.

Of course, being the derp he is, he doesn't realise that their panicked attempts to keep him alive suggest this is not the case. At least he can blame that one on being delirious. He's half-conscious on bedrest for some time - it's a good job he trained his crew so well.

The first time the topic comes up, surprisingly, is Keralis sitting with him holding a book about medicine and asking what's true or not. Xisuma is nowhere near with it enough to think about that, so just does his best to answer. They splint the arm that was broken, can't do much for his ribs. He thinks they've stitched the worst wounds closed too.

The next time the topic comes up, it's with Doc, Cleo and Hypno. And he tells them he gets it. He'll relinquish the title of captain without a fight, he just asks they drop him at a port instead of outright killing him. To which Cleo splutters as she points out they would not have put that much work into keeping him alive if they just planned to kill him after.

They aren't there to ask him to step down. Their main priority is clearing the air, making sure Xisuma is in fact human and figuring out what that means for running the ship. The answer to that is surprisingly little. He's not going to be on the frontline of battle now, whether he likes it or not. But they like him as their captain. Being human doesn't change that.

And it's a good job they all love each other, because then Hypno gives him his physical therapy exercises. X jokes he'd stand down himself if it means he avoids them. Hypno politely replies he'd have to do them regardless.

[hellsbellschime]

Maybe I'm totally in the wrong here and I'm glad she's taking a stand but I think its really weird how there always has to be a villain and a hero in this celeb dramas and how people are suddenly on Blake's side when there don't need to be sides to begin with. There is some of this that's up for debate like her trying to steamroll production and take over the movie allegedly, but the other things people were dragging her for she did do?? She did get married on a notably famous plantation she did run that blog, she was promoting this movie inappropriately etc. None of that obviously means she deserved what allegedly happened but it's so weird that now that this is officially out everybody is like "I cant believe I fell for this super obvious astroturfing" when the shit people were mad about she did do? They just saw a lot of problematic or questionable things she did and automatically made this into a 100% hero and villain thing. The criticism she received doesn't just suddenly become moot because the other side is accused of being even shittier.

Especially because these general allegations have been out since the beginning of this drama. the set being uncomfortable and unprofessional was the first pr piece that was dropped about this situation. people were supporting her at first until they started to turn against her because they disliked how she promoted the movie and then started digging up unrelated problematic stuff to pile on.

I do think the hate train was weirdly gleeful about taking her down and her mistakes should have absolutely no bearing on this separate issue about her being victimised on set, which I hope she gets justice and compensation for.

Well yeah, she has certainly been problematic in the past, so the PR people who wanted to drag her had a built in base of things she's done wrong and people who already didn't like her, and a lot of that was valid. And honestly, this is a thing that definitely seems to happen in celeb culture anyway, like once the first domino falls, every other bad thing someone has done is brought to light and everyone who ever thought someone sucked comes out of the woodwork to say it aloud, so again, they had an easier time with the PR campaign because they just had to lean harder into something that already happens a lot.

But as you said, it has no bearing on the possibility of her being sexually harassed at the workplace, so the fact that all of this stuff was coming up when BL was speaking out about inappropriateness in the workplace should have been more of a red flag to people than it was, and I include myself in the ignorant derp department.

Like, I agree that it's fair for us to not feel like we were TOTALLY hoodwinked because she has done pretty much everything that people were criticizing her for. It just sucks and I feel bad about it because again, if we assume even half of what she wrote in her lawsuit are true, she was going through an incredibly difficult time and was getting dogpiled by the public because of her harasser's campaign against her. Frankly yeah, I think she should be called out for her bad behavior, but it doesn't need to be a part of every conversation about her for the rest of her life, especially when the conversation we're having now is about her getting REALLY severely sexually harassed by her coworkers. I mean all sexual harassment is bad, we're not just talking about uncomfortable jokes or something, these people were literally walking in on her while she was naked.

And I also agree that needing to find a hero and villain makes celeb culture all the more toxic, but I also feel like, and again, I'm saying this presuming that what was reported in the lawsuit was more or less correct, I actually DO personally feel that it's pretty heroic of her to do something like this, and it's an incredible rarity in a very predatory industry. And if I can drag her for getting married on a plantation or never stop rolling my eyes at the idea of a "life curating company" then I better be able to give her some flowers when she does something very difficult and very potentially beneficial to other people who are being exploited.

[goingtochurch]

THE EARTHSPARK REVIEW NO ONE ASKED FOR EP11: HASHTAG OOPS

First and foremost

alt mode time

i know the leaks came out a while ago bUT I AM STILL SO HYPE FOR THEM

him in all of his glory

the best boi

THE best

Hashtag is a cocomelon child you cant tell me otherwise

twitch is also adorable

i would kill for her in a moments notice i gotta be honest

thrash is also trying his hardest though

ALSO THE S H O V E

"yeah you scanned yours on accident- MINE has meaning c:"

true siblings

jawbreakers lITTLE HYPE TOO

I ADORE THEM

I AM GOING TO KILL SOME PEOPLE IF THEY GET HURT

i smell the tism and i love you

oH WOW who could have ever known that things were gonna go wrong immediately after they said "itll be fun!" or something like that

i love twitch but twitch can be smol brained

bumblebee comin in clutch though

hacker voice "im in"

this looks exactly like what i thought the internet would physically look like as a kid

schloder stans where u at come get ur mans

HUBBAND TIME

HU B B A MD AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I would

let him do anything

i do not care

this is a really nice angle

stealth 1000

"nothing happened!" im pretty sure it did hashtag

i am

very certain everything happened

also how did they not hear bumblebees loud af footsteps

"loud af grippers" - my watching buddy

kudos to him for the screenshots

life saver

and the king who got the singular best derp in the west

nightshade u good

also i am pretty sure those two agent are dead

like

whaT WAS HOLDING YOUR HAND OUT GONNA DO

YA GONNA PULL A JURRASSIC PARK????

RAPTOR TRAIN THAT MFER????

SKULLCRUNCHER DOESNT LIKE YOU

"idk about u but skullcruncher sounds like a lovely gentleman" - my watching buddy

get bodies u two pricks u deserve it

also hubby may have died

i need

to know if hes okay

i dont think he did qwq

nightshade definitely has the tism

that whole five month hiatus was them building the base and tbh go u (insert gender nuetral term for royalty

that electricity bill about to be eXPENSIVE

dot should be very mad

what do park rangers even get paid

not enough for this shit thats for sure

awww wholesome end moment

there was no good way to segway to this but

hold gentle like hamborger

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #32

Did you know that in my world, there's such a thing as professional merfolk?

And did you know that not too terribly long ago, I was training to become one?

I imagine you must be terribly confused; "Lumine, what in Gaia's vast, green expanses do you mean by 'professional merfolk'?" you might be asking. So I'll send along a couple videos and some images of me training, so that you'll understand:

I even had an account on Instagram called MerrowAuryn, to document my various shenanigans. It's got videos of me diving, pictures of the various fishies (and even a turtle!) that I befriended on my adventures, and pictures of other neat things that I happened across while derping around in the water. It's still there, but... I don't really use it anymore...

There is an aquarium within reasonable driving distance from my house. They occasionally put on merfolk shows, where a person gets into this sort of costume and performs for anyone nearby who wants to watch. I was training by myself and building up a kind of portfolio of videos and images, with the intention of becoming strong enough to perform in an aquarium tank in this kind of heavy gear for up to 8 hours every day.

I was apnea training, too - my personal best time for holding my breath had gotten all the way up to four and a half minutes. Apnea training involves holding one's breath in cycles to build up a person's tolerance for high carbon dioxide levels and low oxygen levels in the blood. It also pushes the limits of how far one can expand and contract their lungs. Real professional merfolk can hold their breath for five minutes or more. And then you get professional freedivers, who can hold theirs for up to 8 minutes! It's really quite amazing!

For a decent span of time, I had been spending several hours a day, nearly every day, swimming in the heavy costume that you saw in the videos and images above. I apnea trained with a carbon dioxide table every two days. I was improving quickly, and I was feeling pretty confident!

…And then I had to stop. As it turns out, I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. This is a genetic defect of a person's collagen that makes it fragile and way too stretchy. I'm sure you know this already, but collagen is what builds things like our skin and our cartilage and all our connective tissue; tendons, ligaments, all the things that keep our organs in place, all that fun stuff.

If you have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, then your cartilage has a hard time keeping your bones together, because it is built with cheap knockoff collagen; there's no cure. I'm also dyspraxic, so often enough, when I move my limbs, my body doesn't like to tell me how far is too far; things are prone to coming undone for me, but up until this point, I've been accustomed to things popping back into place without it being a big deal.

Well… I guess this time, it was a big deal. And unfortunately, we're not sure what exactly came undone, or it if came undone due to moving around vigorously while holding my breath in the tight costume, or perhaps by expanding or contracting my ribcage too far while apnea training, or the length and frequency of my training exacerbating an already-existing injury. The set of bones, tendons, and ligaments that keep the shoulder joint together (ribs, collarbone, scapula, parts of the neck, and the humerus…) is… well… it's a lot. There's a lot of moving parts to it. And as I'm sure you already know, if even one part of it is compromised, the rest of it falls apart pretty quickly; it's annoying like that.

Regardless of the cause, the fact remains that I've lost most pain-free use of my right arm, and most movements that involve my neck, diaphragm, and ribs also hurt. Though I've been seeing fancy doctor people and going to Physical Therapy for a over a year now, no one really knows exactly what's wrong or how to fix it. My right arm is my dominant arm, so naturally, this means that, while I still can kinda-sorta do the things I love (like cooking and weaving trees and and various other stuff), it hurts a lot to do these things now, so I can't do them nearly as often as I used to. And… I haven't been back in the water meaningfully since. I miss it more than I know how to say.

But that's the way things go, sometimes, right? You grow up and you find out that being able to bend and twist in abnormal, eldritch ways is an ACTUAL PROBLEM™, and not just a cool party trick. Nothing for it but to keep trying to figure it out and fix it, and try to stay positive in the meantime.

So on the one hand… I haven't been able to be in the water in a very long time now. But on the other hand, it gives me lots and lots of time to do other things. Like for example, I can write to you, and that's pretty neat, right? I wouldn't have the time or the energy for this if I was still training in the water for 3 or 4 hours every day.

…When bad things happen, it's surely important to take the time to mourn those things. But it's also important to reframe certain things so that you don't stay in mental/emotional agony forever. It's important to find reasons to still be grateful, even if certain other things are kinda lame. Like me, right now; I'm quite literally kinda lame, hahahaha!

I wonder if you like to swim. If you enjoy it, then have you been able to go do it? And if you enjoy it, but haven't been able to do it, do you miss it? I wonder…

Anyhoot. I suppose I better wrap up this letter now. I have some friends picking me up for a get-together fairly soon, and I have to make sure I haven't gone and forgotten anything (ah, the perils of having poor working memory and only barely functional object permanence, hahaha!). I've gone and prepared a few simple tasty snacks for the occasion; one of those snacks is the confit garlic that I had written to you about before, and I'm pretty excited to share it with these nice folks!

May you find reasons to remain grateful, even when your situation gets really weird. Don't succumb to despair. Don't let the difficulties of your everyday challenges get you down. Remember that you're smart and strong and capable and so very, very loved. And please stay safe out there as you do your various things, okay?

I'll write again soon, as I always do.

Your friend, Lumine

[amayadartan]

7

One Horseman of War, One Horseman of Conquest, The Fallen of Revenge and a Wrath demon go a hunting....

The sound of barking could be heard through the trees as Dalton and Derp, the Queen’s puppies, tracked the human.  Centuries of fighting and training meant that neither Mithos nor Arioch had to reign them in as they went. They were not going to get distracted by anything.  Using their supernatural powers along with their own agility and strength, the obstacles in their way were no problem.  Judging from the sounds all of them heard in the forest around them, that was a good thing.  Things were waking up, things those who were looking for Amaya would prefer to avoid.  Things that were hungry and would love the snack of a human.

Suddenly Dalton lunged forward and increased his pace, Derp following a moment later and they both were going full tilt with the four males close on their heels.  As they cleared another couple of fallen logs, the men came to a halt.  In front of them, the pups had transformed from their cerberus forms back into small corgi puppies.  Since the female human was in front of them, unconscious on the forest floor, that wasn’t completely surprising. What was, however, was that she was covered in what appeared to be some kind of hybrid of a chinchilla, a squirrel, and a rabbit.  None of them had seen the small creatures in Imperium before.

“What are they?” Mithos asked, leaning a little closer with his eyes narrowing and head tilting.  They were…cute?

“Do I look like a nature guide, asshole?” Arioch replied, not sure if the things were safe or not, but clearly not liking the situation at hand. He too was studying them but cautious.

“Rodents, idiots.” Answered Cruz, thoroughly annoyed with everyone and everything, who stepped forward to clear them off of the human.  This is when the whole group made another discovery.  Unlike Earthly rodents that have the four main front teeth, these had two rows on top and bottom of what looked like shark’s teeth, hundreds of them; and they looked none too happy about the King coming closer to Amaya’s body.

“Well, that’s…different…”Ollyl commented, his brows drawing together as a look of unease settled over his face.  He then blew out a breath that puffed out his cheeks.  This changed things, and made them more difficult.

“They haven’t eaten her.  She’s alive.  But they won’t let us near her….”  Cruz knelt down a short distance from them, one hand absentmindedly rubbing his chin as he thought over the situation.  Killing the creatures would be easy, but that would draw predators to them, and since they couldn’t trace Amaya, they’d at least need a minute or two to get her settled for one of them to carry her.  

“I guess…that’s…positive?” Mithos stated hesitantly, hoping it was.  He considered they were saving her for later, which didn’t make him feel any better.

As the others were trying to figure out some kind solution, Olly walked over and knelt down and whistled to Dalton.  “Go ask your friends to please get off the nice lady.  We need to get her to safety.  If they bite us, we have to hurt them, and that might hurt her.  Can you please do that?”  He ruffled the fur on the top of the pup’s head.

Dalton and Derp had been yipping at the creatures who had been squeaking back while the men had been considering the situation.  Olly hoped that maybe, just maybe they were actually communicating.  He knew that Abriella’s dogs were not normal dogs by any stretch of the imagination and understood him fine, now if they could just get the creatures to understand.  Soon enough, it seemed he was right since the little things started getting off of her, but then apparently they had made some kind of deal in order to accomplish this.

As the little furry beings were getting off of Amaya, Dalton and Derp started picking them up in their mouths and delivering them to the feet of each of the men.  All except Olly.  The little creatures started climbing their pants as soon as they were deposited, some finding pockets to go into while others kept going higher.  “Uh, I think they want out of the forest too, and the dogs promised them a ride to the Palace.  Maybe put them in the garden with the pixies?  I’m sure they’d love some Tribbles.”  Olly shrugged as he got a death glare from Cruz who now had one sitting on his shoulder. 

“Tribbles?!  Did you see the teeth on that one that snarled at Cruz?” Arioch asked as one started snuggling into his pocket.  “Ummm..shit..we’re really going to do this, huh?” He blew out a sigh as another one started to fall off of his pant leg and he caught it and stuck it in another pocket.  Abriella should be glad he loved her cute ass.

“Just get these damned things and get them to the garden.” Cruz grumbled, but was standing there with two in one of his large hands, petting them like a cat.  “Olly, since you’ve been spared, get the human to Abriella and Arch.” He shook his head.  He knew that his sister was going to have one of these damn things as a pet and it would end up in his room…he knew it.  Just like the pups during thunderstorms.  

Watching Cruz with the two fuzzballs in his hands was about to make Olly breakout in laughter, but the task at hand was serious, so he nodded and went over to scoop Amaya up off of the ground.  A couple of the furry beings didn’t want to leave her and used their teeth and claws to hold onto her plaid flannel shirt.  “Guess I’m taking a couple with me.  Your sister is going to LOVE this!”  Olly rolled his eyes, still trying to fight outright laughter,  and then unfurled his wings just enough to get them off of the ground.

“Not as much as Arch.  Just don’t let him take one into his lab, these things have teeth and I don’t want them ending up in my room pissed and looking for their missing brother.  Or, worse, him making one of them our size!”  Arioch replied sarcastically as he watched the Horseman of Conquest slowly rising and navigating the branches overhead.  Thankfully the trees did have some space between them up higher, which is why the underbrush was so overgrown and had given them such problems.

“We have them all, let’s get the fuck out of here.  These things are obviously snacks for something bigger, and I don’t want to be here when it shows up.  I’ve had enough frustration for one fucking day.”  It was clear Mithos was tired and no one blamed him.  After ensuring that Dalton and Derp were secured, all of the men mysted back to the garden of the Palace to deposit the little furry softball beings.  

Olly had been right in mentioning the pixies.  As soon as the first chirp was heard in the garden, pixies of every shape, size, and color came out and swarmed around the males.  They picked up the beings and snuggled them, loving on them.  Even a few of the garden gnomes came wadding out of their little houses to invite the creatures in.  The vine on the wall of the palace that Cruz had always suspected was sentient in some way even made a type of shelter for a few of them. For almost fifteen minutes, the men watched in stunned silence as the beings were welcomed into the garden, as if they were watching some kind of surreal Disney or Ghibli movie playing out before them.

Finally, Cruz broke the silence, “I have neither the patience nor the tact to handle this tonight.” He sighed, shaking his head and slightly holding his hands out to his sides.  “We’ll find out what those things are in the morning.  Let us go find the others.”

[aquaticjess]

okay did it feel extremely silly to set up my camera and run by? sure did! did it bring me joy? sure did!

this was the kind of run that i wasn’t excited about at first. it’s 30 degrees and windy, my knee has been better but not perfect, and i wanted to try to run for 20 minutes but i wasn’t sure how it would go. this run is a testament to just doing it and getting out the door - i had no idea how much fun this run would be!! the sun was so warm i stripped off my gloves and headband early on, the music was lifting me up. i actually spent the whole run smiling (which probably made me look like a total derp) because i was JUST SO HAPPY! my knee felt a little off especially on uphills but i just ran and then walked when it felt weird and then running would feel good again. i think knee progress is happening (slow and steady). i was just grateful to be outside, to be moving, to not be in pain.

i think (i hope) there will be a time in my life where i train for races and try to pr but right now my focus is on joyful pain free movement. and in that regard i’m already succeeding 😊🌞💜

[sostrangerous]

i love rereading fics from when i was a teen... often they're not as good as i remember. this fic in particular, lemme type out my thoughts (note: this fic contains graphic depictions of CSA and death, that trauma is the core of the fic)

There's some really compelling and interesting moments in this fic, which i think are valuable. But the overarching story itself is extremely limited in how it deals with these things. Like, the whole story is a power fantasy, and I think power fantasies are a very specific type of story that's really bad at nuance. in this story kirk is deeply traumatized and abused and his history of abuse leads to him suffering as he grows up, but nothing actually sticks. he went to juvie several times, he was homeless, hes an alcoholic, he's had multiple concussions.... and yet once in a structured, academic environment he's basically superfunctional. like, he takes a quantum mechanics class despite apparently never having any kind of formal math training past the age of 15. he does double the work of anyone else in the program. he is absurdly high functioning depressed, but he never burns out, either.

to be clear I'm not saying this fic is terrible. it's just interesting to reread a trope i liked when i was a teenager, where the main guy is in a lot of pain but ultimately he's totally competent and badass and everyone is forced to admit how undeniably special he is. it feels good to read, power fantasies are fun for a reason. (i used to read this type of power fantasy about Edward elric specifically lol)

this story is most compelling when he's younger. the question of how to 'resolve' his trauma is unanswered, and I think that ambiguity is a lot more interesting and emotionally difficult than the conclusion the story comes to. the beginning is when he's allowed to truly be self destructive and have ugly feelings that come out and hurt people. kirk does remain basically morally unimpeachable throughout this fic which isn't a problem exactly but I found it a lot more interesting when he was getting in arguments with his mother about his dead brother and father, and she was saying some unspeakably cruel things to him, and he was lashing out in return (the mom in this fic is an unforgivably bad parent which, again, is more interesting in the beginning than the end of the fic)

honestly endings are really really hard to write well 😕 unfortunately.

i do find it charming how this fic has the most fanfiction-y prose I've ever read. I'm not sure if fanfic sounds exactly like this anymore, so it's kind of a perfect 2015ish millennial-author time capsule. it literally uses the word *derp* (which is yet more evidence for my theory that you should never include memes in writing)

anyway! why am i talking about a star trek fic that came out 8 years ago? because i can. clearly the fic speaks to a lot of people bc it's very popular. it used to speak to me, and i think it's interesting to go back over how and why. if it's novel length why shouldn't I analyze it like a novel ykwim

[nightlydream]

Get to Know the Blogger?

Share your wallpaper:

The last song you listened to: I didn’t know so I just listened to Cinderella snapped

Currently reading: Solar Lunacy and Scythe(Though I’m kinda pissed at this one right now)

Last movie: I suppose part of the Demon Slayer train movie

Last show: Criminal Minds

Craving: Still craving Panda Express’s Honey walnut shrimp (I have an addiction)

What are you wearing right now: A BeetleJuice hoodie, I old blue tank top, black loose leggings, black socks, and degrading black tennis-shoes 

How tall are you: 5’3” = about 160 cm

Piercings: regular ears they somehow haven’t actually closed

Tattoos: none yet

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses

Last drink: Water (you all better fuckin hydrate after reading this ya gremlins)

Last thing you ate: frozen buffalo wings with light ranch… they were underwhelming

Favorite color: Red, preferably darker

Current obsession: Ominis Gaunt, and pretty much all my fictional loves

Any pets: I have 2 goofball Boston terriers. Skyer is the grey-ish blue pretty one, and the other sitting like a french girl is Reverse (aka Derp Master 57). 

Favorite fictional character: “This question is unfair and I refuse to answer without a more specific criteria.”- @freesiriusblack (I agree with this sentiment)

The last place you traveled to: I traveled home *blep*

Tagging: I refuse to tag bitches