#it’s hilarious how she trained the whole house

[spaceumbredoggos]

I want a cat. But my dog hates cats. So I will move out one day. Get a cat. Worship said cat. Maybe an orange cat and a black cat. I love cats. Cats are cute little assholes. You don’t really have to train them. Cats bury their poop and will lecture you about clean litter boxes. They enslave their humans and that’s all I want out of a pet.

I uh… have a power struggle problem. I like being bossed around by nonsensical means. Including cats and my bossy Australian cattle dog. Um… Yeah.

Also, cats love to cuddle. Cats bring you gifts. My cats will be indoor cats because I can’t imagine my babies surviving in the wild. When I move out, hopefully my streaming career has taken off so that I can stay with them all the time. Also, I will get leashes for them, socializing them with dogs, and take them to a hiking trail. Idk. I want to give them the best lives possible.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Would it be possible to read what happened during Phantom's mating season peak in The Bakery is a Front from Tim's POV? I just think the pure baffled energy that Tim would be radiating from being taken care of so nicely by his hot kidnapper from another dimension would be hilarious. Really the whole kidnapping had to have been a better experience than some of the galas Tim has been forced to attend; at least definitely the best kidnapping he has ever experienced, 10/10 would be kidnapped again.

It happens so fast.

One second he's suffering through Danny's overdose, and the next, the dead body in his arms is leaping over Bruce and trapping Damian in an iron-clad grip.

Jason and Dick react the fastest, but it does nothing to someone who can density shift. Tim can only watch Danny sobs on top of Damian, speaking in a strange dialect. It sounded like cracking ice every time he wailed.

"Unhand me!" Damian grunts snaping a knife into Danny's side. Despite the apparent red spot growing on Danny's shirt, the other man doesn't flatter in his movements in the slightest. He squeezes harder, but it doesn't seem like he's trying to hurt Damian. If anything, it looks like he's...cradling him? Yes, it did in fact, seem like Danny is attempting to cradle Damian like a baby.

What on earth-?

"Shit! Danny put him down!" A new voice shouts. Three women and a man burst into the room. Tim has yet to learn where they come from, but Bruce wastes no time throwing a pair of Batbolas at them. It hits the target on the man and the red hair women, tangling their legs and knocking them off.

The man yelps while the woman grunts, throwing her arms in front of her in an obviously trained reaction. She can't stop herself from falling all the way, but her reflex is nothing to scoff at.

She doesn't seem to care as she shouts at the drug dealer. "Daniel Fenton, you let that boy go right now! Are you listening to me?"

"Danny is not here right now."

Tim jerks his head in his fake boss' direction watching in horror as the man's usual blue starts glowing green, and his dark hair bleeds into white. There is an unnatural glow emanating from under his skin that makes him appear so beautiful Tim loses his train of thought for a moment.

This transformation seems a bit too much to just be a meta-gene activation. Is Danny....not human?

One of the women- who looks like a younger female version of Danny- blasts him with a zap of green from her hand. It reminds him of Starfire, but while his friend's blast is nothing but heat, the green of the girl seems more light than flame.

He drops, unconscious, letting go of Damian. The newcomers relax when the goth-looking one kneels next to him and presses her hands against his neck. Danny appears returns to the human one Tim is used to in another quick blink of an eye. "No pulse!"

"Thank goodness." The red hair, one says, sitting up. It's then that Tim realizes it's Jazz. The one that talked down Jason and the rest of Danny's men not even two weeks ago. So neither left of the siblings left overseas? How had they tricked Babs? "No pulse means he's still in his mating season. Quick we have to get him quarantined again before-"

"You are not going anywhere!" Jason growls, leveling his gun at her. Jazz blinks down the barrel, then raises a brow. It reminds Tim of Alfred when the man found his hidden coffee machine- disgusted, disappointed, but most of all, unimpressed.

His brother sneers. "I want to know what is happening here and I want to know now!"

"Can you not read?" Jazz returns, speaking as if an annoying customer demands a service she can not provide. "I put up signs that clearly said Quarantine do not enter around Danny's house. Why do you think that is? Oh, maybe, it means to leave this area alone."

"You bats are lucky we got here when we did," The man says, trying to twist out his binds. It's not going too well, as a few electric mobiles slip out of his pockets. "The only way to snap the human side of Danny out of his daze is by making him deny his obsession which is something I hate doing."

What?

"I hate hitting him too" The girl with the energy blasts pouts "I makes my stomach turn."

She twists at her waist seconds before Damian's foot swings through the air, where her head was only seconds before. She sidesteps his three other attacks, face twisting into a sneer. "Hey! Back off! We don't share the same obsession!"

"Silence wrench!" Damian sneers, which makes her even angrier.

"Make me, you wannabe pirate!" the girl hisses, and it's then that Tim realizes they may even be the same age. She is doing a masterful job of barely being out of Damian's deadly reach.

"Don't hurt him, Elle!" Jazz shouts, "Things are already complicated enough-"

The goth woman screams as she is suddenly launched into the air, slamming into Bruce and cutting off the redhead. Dick rushes to the now-standing Danny, aiming a barrage of attackers that the man easily slips through. Bruce throws the woman off him, slamming her against the wall and knocking her out in the same action. The man screams as Jason shoots out his kneecaps and Tim-

Tim suddenly finds himself unable to think as large green eyes overtake his vision. Danny's eyes and hair are bleeding in and out of different colors as the man stares at him. "Mate...."

Tim's mouth dries, and his eyes are drinking in the man. He knows he should be doing something, but Tim can't remember what he should be-.

"TIM!" Dick screams, snapping him out of his daze, and....oh, Tim is falling. Danny- or whatever is pretending to be Danny- has pushed him by pressing his hands against his chest and shoving him through a portal.

Danny is watching his drop with a soft smile, that is at odds with Jason appearing at his side with guns blazing.

Tim drops onto a pile of soft snow- or what he thinks is snow. It looks like it, soft like a fresh full pillow, but it's not cold. If anything, it's the perfect temperature to nap in.....he's exhausted. When was the last time Tim slept? He can't remember.

His eyes are getting heavy. His body is going boneless.....he has never been so comfortable in his whole life....is this what it feels like to rest on a cloud...

Tim blinks, around the room trying to fight the urge to give into the darkness, and he notes that he seems to be in a castle made entirely of ice and snow...like Danny's home.....he also appears to be in a tower? The windows are shaped like one.

Tim takes note of the sky being a bright green color which is..odd, but that's all he can think clearly as he finally goes under.

_________________________________________

It feels like he only closes his eyes for a second when Tim is startled awake by a scream of rage. Jerking away, he sits up, trying to gather his bearings. He needs to find out where he is and where his gear is.

Tim pulls on the crotcheted sweater he's been stuffed into, breathing a sigh of relief when he realizes his Red Robin outfit is still on underneath. He climbs out of the bed made entirely of snow, flickering his eyes about.

He's covered head to toe in other crotchety objects- pants, sweater, socks, gloves, a scarf, and a hat- all big enough to fit comfortably against him and his vigilante costume. Raising a hand to his face, he touches the smooth leather of his trusted mask.

Right. Danny let him keep his secret identity intake. That's... something.

He glances around his surroundings again, this time for sure, that his in some type of castle covered in ice. It's beautiful, like something out of a Disney movie with shiny crystal frozen designs everywhere. He carefully makes his way to the window, looking out into a far darker green of a sky.

He squints into the distance seeing acres and acres of a vast castle and land, but on the far right, there seems to be a drop....a cliff? Or the edge of this island. For you see, he could make out flouting doors and islands in the sky.

This differently wasn't his earth.

Danny, not being human, was becoming more and more plausible.

"Release me!" A voice echo. Damian.

Tim slams the door open, sprinting down the hall toward his younger brother's distress calls. It's a castle; even if everywhere he turns, it seems to be a frozen wonderland.

There are ice sculptures of Danny between every large ice pillar. They portray him as Tim usually is used to or as a being with a tail instead of legs mid-flight. There are portraits of various people hanging on the walls- he can make out Jazz and the others that busted into Danny's apartment- but there all encased in ice.

There are no guards, so when Tim sprints down a giant stairway, he is hyper-aware of his footsteps echoing on the cracking ice. He rounds the hallway, then stumbles to a stop at the sight before him.

It was Danny. At least, he thinks so. The being had a strong resemblance to him, but his skin had a slight blueish hue, his ears were pointed, his hair was pure white, he was glowing, and most of all, he didn't have legs.

The sculptures hadn't been a artistic choice Danny in this form had a tail and he was flying around a restrain Damian.

His brother was in a gaint baby doorway jumper, encased in what looked like a snow swaddle.

Damian is also covered head to toe in crochet clothing, but his Robin costume peaks from underneath it. Danny was flying around him, placing piles of snow on the ground around the struggling child, making noises like creaking ice and purring when he came close to pat Damian.

It also looked like Danny....was nesting with Damian in the center of it.

What in the world?

"I'll have your head!" Damian sneers as Danny gently places a bear beanie on his head. " I am not a child!"

"My baby" Danny coos, then starts making more cracking noise. He rubs his head against Damian like a cat which causes the boy to grimace.

Tim needs to get him out of there. He looks around for a weapon, but his gear doesn't seem near him. The only thing he can possibly use is the ice around the walls-

"Crackle, crack, Clank, Click!" Danny suddenly says in his face. He crossed the room at the same speed Bart would have, or maybe faster since he didn't even see a blur. Tim jerks back, but the glowing figure is already reaching out-.

He places a scarf around his neck with an adorable head tilt.

"Drake! Run! He'll swaddle you!"Damian screams, but Tim can't look away. He's so beautiful. Danny's bright green eyes, sparkling with the stars of the universe, and his lips are so full, he bets they would be perfect to kiss- is someone purring? Tim could fall asleep to that sound- it must be a white noise machine-!

He snaps his eyes open, shocked to find himself back in the original room.

Tim is back in the damn nest. Confused, he blinks around the room, noticing the sky is bright again and that he's tucked into the bed with great care. He's never felt more rest, so he knows he just spends hours sleeping.

He doesn't even remember getting moded, damn it.

""Red Robi- can you- where are you- report!" Tim's eyes widened when he realized Bruce's voice. It's his communicator! He scrambles out of the bed, straining his ears. "Re-Rob-in!""

There! His earpiece is in one of the ice crystals hanging from the ceiling. Miraculously it's still working, as he can barely make out Bruce's shouts. After four kicks of the crystal, he breaks it down, shattering it on the ground.

He quickly places it back into his ear. "Batman, I'm here!"

"Thank goodness!" An unknown woman says, making Tim flatter for only a moment. "Listen to me, my name is Sam, and right now, there is only one way to escape Danny's mating season without bloodshed. See, Phantom is in control right now, which means his obsession is at its highest. What does Danny not deem important enough to protect? Himself."

" We have to snap him out of it by having those under his protection stand up to him and....hit him. Anybody attacks will confuse Phantom so much the human side of Danny will be forced to take the front." Another female voice puts it. Jazz. She sounds unhappy, as she admits. "A punch to the head, or slap or something, just one from enough people under his protection will freeze Phantom for a moment."

Tim frowns. "I have no idea what you mean. How will that help get us away?"

"Well, we have a plan for that," A man says wearily. The one with all the electronics. "You may not like it...but we must get you to sacrifice yourself for Robin's freedom."

His siblings start shouting over the communicator but Jazz silence everyone with her explanation.

A very long explanation of ghosts, cores, and obsessions, but the gist is that Phantom and Danny's balance was disruptive, so the only way was to cause his human side to get clarification was by presenting Phantom with a paradox.

Phantom will protect all. Danny will allow anyone to hurt him because of his terrible self-esteem. Hence Phantom will not know if it should defend them when it's Danny in danger but it will pull at his core because something is still under attack in front of him.

However, as ghost king, Danny is crazy strong, so they need to attack with something Phantom would never try to defend himself from. His sister and two best friends suddenly slapping or punching him? Phantom would typically react by beating them away, but that would mean hurting the beings he exists to protect.

That's just the physical aspect of it too. Tim's sacrifice would pull at Danny's human emotions while Phantom would panic about needing to save Tim from the ghost he was sacrificed to. Which would be himself.

It should snap them both by tugging them in two different directions of their instincts.

Tim wonders if it will work-

He wakes up to Phantom purring and messaging his sore muscles. To his left is a feast of all of Tim's favorites. Even though he is the elite of Gotham, he's never been so pampered in his life.

Dang, it better work. Tim is getting far too comfortable in this castle. He may never want to leave.

"Phantom if you let my brother go ill be your mate."

"!" Phantom pauses then let's out a sound that sounds like twinkling bells glowing so bright he could be a star

"Only If you accept me as a sacrifice in exchange for my brother's freedom" Tim holds his break then jumps at the sound of shattering glass that comes from Phantom's mouth.

He blinks a few moments, fighting himself, until Phantom nods determined. "Mate will bring children. I need children."

"Ugh sure pal. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal"

It's a weird Tuesday.

Damian is home ten minutes later, and within the hour, Phantom overloads from the paradox.

Tim opens a portal home that night, and Danny sleeps through the rest of his mating season, going under when Phantom and he fights about Tim's fate.

[starry-bi-sky]

for clone Danny, Clone Damian

I give you

Edit Clone Talia as somehow Girlfriend of Danny, just think of the comedy

nah brO BECAUSE LITERALLY I HAVE THOUGHT BOUT THAT. Literally since the conception of Clone Danny, I have thought about it. If only for, as you said, the COMEDY of it all. Plus I love writing romance.

Literally my motto for my aus is: A) is it plausible, B) is it FUNNY (and a secret third option C) is it ANGSTY)

Clone Talia would be an offshoot au of Clone^2 because idk how she'd fit into the original timeline, bUT, she'd exist. And to avoid confusion I'll call her Nasra - I thought about Tameka (which means twin) but I like Nasra better. "Talia and Nasra" just flows so nicely doesn't it?

Idk WHY there's a clone of Talia running around -- maybe the LoA made her, maybe n unknown organization who hates Batman and knows he has romantic ties to Talia, and started making a clone of her to fuck with him and then she got nabbed by a portal when she was still Danny's age and in the middle of training. She might be like Connor (??) and have memories and thus her training is more proficient than baby Dames.

Either way, regardless of how she was made, I think it's hilarious if she, much like baby Dames, immediately attacks Danny on sight. She falls into his city and Danny only has a moment to go "goddammit not agaIN" before he's fending off a very confused, very violent Nasra. Fortunately he's able to actually try and talk to her and be at least somewhat successful -- Nasra knows english. although even if she didn't, Danny would still be somewhat successful since he knows Arabic.

Also Bruce and Danny are the battinson bat because i think that is also hilarious and 'wet rat' is STILL the perfect energy for Danny as Phantom - especially in the early days when he's running around in all but jeans and a hoodie. (and god watch me go on a rant in a separate post about his outfit and reasonings for being Phantom when he has no powers later on because it makes me go FERAL. and his active choice to look as inhuman and ghost-like through his behavior as phantom and the decision to wear such a creepy mask as possible)

(like seriously, imagine walking home late at night while danny was still in his early vigilante days (and even now when he's got damian and a better suit) and seeing a skinny figure in the shadows with sunken in black-and-glowing-green eyes, and a bone white, skull-like face, crouched on all fours like a wild animal about to pounce. THAT is the level of creepiness I was going for for clone danny)

In my head, Sam offers to house Nasra and Nasra stays with her. SAm is able to convince her parents to let her stay, or she pulls a Danny and just straight up smuggles her in and her parents are none the wiser. I also think it's funny if they have unspoken BEEF with each other. Only to later become like sisters. Nasra teaches Sam the martial arts she knows, and also Danny joins in too with Damian because goddamn he needs it even IF he's learning stuff from his mom (as per the most recent snippet post I made).

OH AND DAMIAN AND NASRA. I think it's equally as funny if they ALSO have beef with each other. Nasra is a clone of his mother (of whom he might have complicated views on due to being a clone but still is his mother) and Damian is a clone of Nasra's "son". This beef largely starts from Damian's own refusal to want to share his Danny with another clone, especially with a clone of his MOTHER.

Danny and Nasra don't become lovers for a good, long while I think. They're besties first before they even consider the idea of dating -- not only just because of the whole "uhhh our counterparts dated so it'd feel kinda weird and forced if we dated" and also because Nasra, with her newfound freedom, is busy trying to figure out herself.

A big theme here in clone^2: discovering your identity and who you are as a person when the only thing you own that's unique is your name (which isn't even the case for Damian), and figuring out if your choices are your own or because you're a clone and its something your original would have done. Nature vs Nurture and the illusion of choice and whether it really is one or not.

Also Nasra also becomes a vigilante. Danny appreciates the help but is also tearing out his hair because what the fuck is up with these assassins and becoming vigilantes?! Nasra goes by "Nesha". She's similar to Red Huntress at first where she kinda does her own thing, but is lowkey forced to team up with Danny about it because she doesn't have any proper ghost hunting equipment with her.

And then a duo becomes a trio, and Danny is spending more time with her. And they steadily become friends. Very snarky friends who are very bratty to each other, but friends. Damian still doesn't like her so Danny spends extra time during patrol keeping the two of them from making insults at each other.

"Nesha please stop fighting with a nine year old. Wraith, quit insulting Nesha."

Nasra also uses like, weaponry as Nesha which exasperates Danny a little because why are you using swords??? They're already dead its not gonna kill them,,,, If you cut off their heads its just gonna piss em off, its re-attachable. Let him ghost-proof it first too. But well, its still gonna HURT he supposes. He's still a little exasperated.

And MMM i'm sorry lmao im so focused on Nasra becoming her own person than the actual romance aspect of it all. Nasra cuts her hair short for the same/similar reasons that Danny keeps his long - to try and gain a semblance of autonomy and identity that's away from their original. Danny has his alternative rock-kinda geeky look and Nasra's got, from influence from Sam, a more alternative fashion style. Although she still leans into being feminine, which is a good challenge to Sam's belief that feminity = bad, and gets her to unlearn those bad habits since her new adoptive sister is feminine while still being an unapologetic badass.

And ykw I think Nasra gets into rollerblading and loves it. She rollerblades constantly. Damian is furious because skating is his thing (even if what he gets later on is a skateboard - skater boy damian ftw. i can see him wearing flannels and graphic tees as a teenager. very grungy/skater aesthetic. He also has a much more relaxed and teen-y speech pattern compared to DW's more formal way of talking. He also spray paints as his form of artistic medium.) and he refuses to have Nasra be a copy of him.

They will sort out their differences eventually. LMao.

Anyways they eventually do get together, but not before Danny finally has his run in with Mister Wayne. Which, they only meet because Danny starts destabilizing, and thus needs Bruce Wayne's DNA to help stabilize himself. Which that meeting in and of itself is pretty chaotic on its own, but then add clone Damian and Nasra? Bruce needs coffee.. or alcohol.

Because picture this: its late at night, you're on patrol with the rest of your family. It's like, two in the morning. You suddenly get a call in from your butler, Alfred, informing you that not one, not two, but THREE children -- two of them in their late teens and the other one not even ten yet -- showed up on your doorstep. One of them is unconscious. They are all clones.

The girl and the boy are twins - and are clones of YOU - and the girl isn't even technically YOUR clone she's a clone of your clone - and also this clone of you is your college friends' kid. And then the youngest boy is a clone of your youngest SON. Bruce is running across rooftops when he gets this call and does a literal 180 degree turn and touches the ground because he basically did a figure skating turn, and sprints back towards the manor because what the fuck? He needs to check this out.

And then half a day later a clone of your fucking ex shows up on your doorstep demanding to see the clone of you - the boy that is, not the girl - and then immediately gets into a verbal lashing with the clone of your son. Like what a fucking DAY. Your kids are equally as baffled but also laughing their asses off -- except your bio son, who is very unhappy about this turn of events and keeps getting the stink eye from his clone.

Like??? I'd quit right then and there.

While Danny recovers he's staying in Wayne manor and Damian is very reportedly not leaving his side. Ellie has to leave to help take care of Amity Park with RH, and then Nasra is also very determinedly not leaving his side either. This is her friend dammit. The first thing she does when he becomes lucid is insult him, and he insults her back - they're bantering. It's how they flirt later on. None of the Bats know how to deal with this situation.

[yumeka-sxf]

Becky's homewrecking is one of my most favorite stand-alone chapters...and the anime version did not disappoint!

Everyone's reactions to Becky's hilarious delusions are just so perfect - Loid being baffled and totally clueless, Yor being flustered and completely misinterpreting things, while Anya just observes it all with quiet amusement.

Plus the scenes of Anya imagining Becky as her mom, and even the short sequence of showing Becky her house - gah, everything about this chapter/episode is peak SxF comedy~

Becky completely ignoring Bond...poor pup 😂

If Loid thinks he doesn't understand children based on Anya, Becky certainly did not help! (also Bond in the corner still feeling rejected)

Yor's "encounter" with the car worked much better in the anime 🤣

I honestly feel really bad for the driver!

Also this poor guy, lol. Though I'm sure the money Becky gave him was more than enough to cover repairs on the machine 🤣

I know some people found this chapter uncomfortable, but I don't get why. If Loid reciprocated Becky's feelings, then yes, that would be bad, but he doesn't. He reacts how anyone would if some delusional little kid decided they had a crush on you - by being confused (and hoping that your wife doesn't interpret it wrong!)

It's not unusual for little kids, especially little girls, to develop silly, fleeting infatuations with adults (I'm guilty of that myself when I was Becky's age, lol).

Anya's willingness (at first) to go along with Becky's delusions was fitting - she idolizes Becky's lavish lifestyle, especially the food (and since Yor's food is, well...) Plus someone at her impressionable young age can be swayed easily. But I'm sure if somehow this delusion became a reality, she'd realize that Yor is the best Mama and Becky should just be "best friend" 😅

This chapter also confirms that Yor didn't completely forget everything that happened after the bar incident. Or at least she remembered it more clearly after Loid supposedly had the conversation with her again, lol. Just shows how important his compliments are to her.

I love how the episode's key visual is a throwback to the one from episode 6! I hope we get to see more Yor/Becky interactions again.

We also got a short anime-original story featuring Fiona. Everyone was expecting chapter 60 to be adapted, but I'm kinda glad it wasn't since it and the Becky chapter seem a bit too long to share the same episode. Not a whole lot to say about this segment other than I liked how Fiona's actions mirrored the Forgers' activities on their vacation. We also got to see more of her "training" in the woods that was hinted at after her tennis match with Yor.

I liked this bear hitching a ride.

And omg, foreshadowing for chapter 67!

And it seems like the final episode of the season will adapt the 2-part story of Loid and Bond's fire rescue. I know there's a scene of Fiona in the next mission preview, but it's likely from a quick anime-only scene while the rest of the episode will adapt the two parts of chapter 62. The big indicator that this will be the only story adapted is that the next episode only has one title, "Part of the Family."

Can't believe we're just one week away from the final season 2 episode AND the CODE: White movie! Later today there's going to be a Jump Festa panel about SxF so I'm hoping there will be a season 3 announcement - stay tuned!

[notedchampagne]

Bro the 6th familial relationships fuck me up so much like the weird Juno and Pal more of a mentor than a mother vibes? And it seems like from Dr Sex that her and Pal's dad are either divorced or just straight up had nothing to do with each other until the genomics department decided they should have a child together?? Like imagine you're a ruthless academic career-woman and one day you get an email from the government like 'congrats! You're a mother!' And they hand you a fresh vat baby that is half you and half your co-worker that you talked to one time at the Christmas party like??? I don't think I would have the most healthy relationship with that child either tbh

And Cam! Earlier in Nona when Pal and Pyrrha are talking about going to the park it is only Kiki that he mentions she might want to save, no mention that apparently both her parents are there too? Her entire family is on the line here. Then she doesn't want her dads to see the Paul transformation because they "wouldn't understand"? You just know there's some long running disagreement there with how far she's yoking herself in with Pal. Do you think they secretly resent him? Did this cause a rift in their family? And what did the conversation look like before or after the transformation? Did Cam tell them she was about to die? Or did they turn away for five seconds and she finally killed herself for her obsessions behind their back? Who broke the news to them? (Who is going to break the news to Pal's dad?) The whole thing just makes me insane!!!!

Also apparently there is some incredible nepotism going on in the 6th oversight body here (or maybe everything is nepotism on the 6th lol)

YOU GET ME i love the 6th house so so much the way the house functions both as a united family w their genetics & a university with the academic quibbling is so fun to me- the sixths weakness was described as "A sprawling organization of erratic loners, the Sixth are chaotic by nature and terrible at collective action." which is 1) hilarious. palamedes is the peoples marxist princess 2) just generally fascinating as a whole. if we take that at face value and consider the 6th house as populated by genius loner nerds, it actually makes sense that they prioritize sending out attractive people to diversify the gene pool - with reference to your statement: dr sex provided a nice handful of evidence that while palamedes and juno have a formal dynamic, theyre affectionate enough that they seem close (at most, to the extent of some gay kid and their favorite english teacher) but seeing juno like a distant mentor is most likely right

taking on more quotes from dr sex, i think its most likely that the Sixth house encourages child bearing / raising through subsidies and an extended work leave of sorts:

Palamedes said, “Enjoying parenting. Enjoying the parenting buyout, I should say. He’s only doing dissertation supervision—and half a year of Immediate History, of course—but he’s got his own projects on the go.”

alexandrites and nireids might be required to go offworld to flirt and have children (i think i came across another post floating somewhere noticing kiki and cam were half-sisters, implying their parent was one of the mentioned) but for residents staying in the sixth house, they probably have about 3-7 other people they could possibly produce children with outside of consanguinity. although forcing them to have children by way of vat birth etc etc is entirely possible in Hell Empire a lot of them probably gave in just for a few years of parental & academic benefits.

one last point - sixth house children canonically live in a dormitory! so if you consider a professor going on paid leave to raise children while doing their own projects for about 7-9 years, then going back to work while their children are sent to a dorm to do nothing but study and train with other peers their age, it falls together so perfectly bro. it makes so much sense. of course pal and cam are nice to their parents but rarely ever close - they were most likely raised and taught communally! god i love worldbuilding

[its-time-to-write]

Ooh I just read the other part to the baby Jamie tartt story and it was amazing!! What about where it’s bea’s first soccer game and the team shows up and Jamie is just a proud dad or she’s 2 or 3 watching her dad play and cheering super loud and getting into it!?!

Heyyo! Mixed this with another ask. It was fun to write! Thank you!

today’s a day like any other

Bea is two years old and five months, and she’s at the age where she is talking in sentences and can understand things that are happening around her. She makes little two-year-old jokes that only she understands, and her favorite person in the whole entire world is Sam Obisanya. 

You have a picture of her at her second birthday party, pointing at something while Sam holds her, both in matching Obisanya 24 kits. She can’t read, but she knows enough to tell that the markings are the same. She wears it every day it’s clean, and some days it’s not. You think it’s hilarious because Jamie has to cajole her into wearing her Baby Tartt 9 kit. 

Jamie is her second favorite person. She calls him “dada,” and shrieks whenever he comes home from training. Both of you are in your mid-twenties now, and you get stares whenever you’re out with her. The press is still the press, but they keep Bea’s face out of it when they speculate how long Jamie will keep “playing house,” or you will “put up with his antics.” They comment on young marriage and early divorce, and you and Jamie make the choice to laugh through it. 

He calls Ted about once a week for advice on marriage and fatherhood, and Rebecca stops by for lunch for you and Bea twice a week to give you advice on marriage and encourage you in motherhood. Bea adores her, almost as much as she does Sam. Almost. 

Rebecca had been hesitant at first to share, but once you said, “I’m pretty sure you know what red flags I should look for,” she laughed and went full steam ahead. 

All that to say, Bea’s favorite people are Sam, Jamie, and you, in exactly that order. (You could rank the rest of the team, but honestly it’s pretty close between some of them and they don’t need that type of competition.) 

Bea is two years old and five months, and she is at yet another football match, wearing her Obisanya 24 jersey and bouncing up and down in your arms. You’re three months along with your son name undisclosed so you can still hide it, but you’re wearing one of Jamie’s kits as opposed to your own. You put tiny lines of red and blue face paint on Bea and are standing up in Rebecca’s box, pointing things out to Bea. You point to a tiny Sam on the pitch, and Bea starts yelling, “Sam, Sam, Sam!” He can’t hear her, of course, but he’s looking around and smiling. The stadium is chanting, “Go, Sam Obisanya,” and Bea picks it up. You see Jamie nudge Sam and point up to where you’re sitting and Sam waves. Bea waves back, giggling.

“Bea, do you see Dada?” you ask. Jamie’s face is on the big screen, and she wiggles even harder. She’s practically vibrating in your arms. You think this might be the first game she actually understands enough to remember. You spend the first half narrating the game to her- “See, Sam has the ball. He’s trying to get it to Dada. Oh look, there he goes. Do you think he’s going to pass it?” 

Bea is watching intently as Jamie zips by player after player. You see him fake out Wolverhampton’s last line of defense and then the stadium erupts. He’s scored the first goal of the game. 

Bea is yelling her head off and bouncing again. Jamie looks up to where he knows you are an blow a kiss, which only makes Bea lose it more. 

On the drive home, all she can talk about is how “dada got a goal,” and “dada is my favorite.”

— 

Bea is seven years old and one month, and she is very adamant that she wants to play football. Her friends are all playing, plus she’s Beatrice fricken’ Tartt. Isn’t football in her blood?

You and Jamie tried to talk her out of it, not wanting her to feel like she had to. She insisted.

So there you are on a Saturday morning, seven months pregnant (yes, again thanks to goddamn Jamie Tartt) getting ready to cheer Bea on in her first match of the season. 

Her kit says Tartt 24 because of course it does. The teams are doing little stretches to get ready, so you smile and reach down to get a juice for four-year-old Theo (no, you don’t call him Ted) out of the cooler Jamie brought. 

“Eyy, it’s the Tartts!” says a voice. You look up to a grinning Dani. 

“Dani! What are you doing here?” you ask, grinning back.

“Couldn’t miss my favorite niece’s first match, could I? And I heard you had drinks,” he says, peering into the cooler. 

You laugh and someone else says, “let me know what’s in the cooler, bruv.” You turn, and there’s Isaac, Colin, and Michael. Dani waves to someone across the field, and it’s Sam, Jan Maas, Richard, and Bumbercatch. Roy’s Jeep screeches into the parking lot, and you see him get out followed by a flurry of pink. Of course it’s Keeley. 

“I hope I’m not late,” says another voice, and Bea runs up to say “Aunt Bex!” and does a flying leap at Rebecca. 

All of Bea’s uncles are here, minus Ted and Beard, to support her at her first game. 

You think you might cry.

Jamie, on the other hand, is looking extremely proud of himself. 

Bea is showing of her number 24, Sam is grinning proudly, Richard, Isaac, and Jan Maas are hyping her up, and Dani is doing arm curls with Theo hanging onto his wrist. 

Jamie slides his arm around your waist and presses a kiss to your neck. 

“Jamie Tartt,” you say, “did you invite all of them?”

Jamie grins. “I might’ve.“

“That might be the sweetest thing you’ve ever done. It might even make me not mad at you anymore.”

Jamie pulls away a little, indignant. “What’re you mad at me for? I haven’t done anything!”

You point to your stomach and say, “Oh really, then what do you call this?”

Jamie fixes you with a devilish grin. “Proof that I’m still fucking sexy?”

You giggle like a teenager. He is definitely still fucking sexy. 

The game is filled with wild cheers from Bea’s aunts and uncles, especially when she performs a header. 

“I taught her that,” Roy says to anyone who will listen. 

They swarm her on the field after the game’s over, uncaring if she’s won or lost. It doesn’t matter. They don’t all play for Richmond anymore, but they will always be a family. 

—

Bea is sixteen years old when she causually mentions a boy named Thomas in one of her classes. You’re all at the dinner table and Jamie doesn’t clock it, but you do. 

Jamie is only a few years out from retirement. He’s around the age Roy was when Roy hurt his knee, and although he’s still tearing it up on the pitch, you both know his time is coming to a close. 

He’s a lot sadder than he lets on, but you remind him there’s more to life. Your family has become somewhat famous, even in the States, so he’ll still have opportunities to do what he loves. Just not with the League. It’s become a bit of a routine, at this point, having the same conversation at the end of ever season. 

Just one more, Jamie promises, One more and then I’ll retire. You just hope he isn’t forced to by an injury.

But anyway, Bea’s got her eye on a boy and Jamie is completely oblivious until you bring it up that night while getting ready for bed. He’s flossing his teeth and your putting lotion on your face. 

“She fuckin’ what?” Spit goes flying. 

“Jamie, that’s disgusting. Please wipe that up.”

Jamie grabs a towel and swipes at the mirror. “How d’you know? It could just be a friend. She’s too young to be thinking like that!”

You smile. Bea’s a very thoughtful girl. You’re pretty sure she timed the name-drop with great precision and care, testing the waters. 

She’s a lot like you. 

“Babe, I just know. And, not sure if you’ve noticed, but she’s not seven anymore. Plus, I’ve seen Thomas around. He’s a very bright, respectful young man. Bea’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

Jamie pales, not listening to a thing you said. He grabs your hand. “Babe. Babe. Think about what I was like. Fucking hell, I was an absolute wanker. Oh fuck. This is not fucking good.”

He’s spiraling. He’s spiraling about his oldest daughter and it’s adorable. His hair is all crazy from running his hands through it, and his eyes are wild. You know what Jamie was like. You met a toned-down version of him, and you’re pretty sure he wouldn’t want Bea even near someone like that. You’ve heard the stories of how he was before. 

“Jaim,” you say, “it’s going to be ok. Seriously.”

“You don’t understand,” he says, hands now on your face. “I was an absolute shithead. I was rude and a fucking dick. I didn’t treat women well, or anyone well, and I don’t want Bea with someone like me.”

You understand. You’re not minimizing his concerns or apathetic about Bea, it’s just that you know the daughter you’ve raised, and you tell Jamie as much. “I know this is new for us, but she’s wonderful. And anyway, it’s not like she’s going to end up like me, twenty-two and knocked up.”

“We were married!” Jamie protests, “And twenty-two is like being a real adult!”

You raise an eyebrow. “We were barely married. And we were basically kids.” 

Jamie still looks distraught, so you place your hands on his wrists. 

“Darling, don’t worry. She’ll be ok. We made it this far being stupid, and she’s so much smarter than either of us.”

Jamie snorts, which you take as a victory. 

“And anyway,” you continue, “any boy that breaks her heart has like a million of her scary uncles to deal with. I promise, promise, promise she’ll be alright.”

Jamie smiles at that. “She does, doesn’t she?” He kisses the tip of your nose. “Suppose it’s a good thing you didn’t have any of those, otherwise we might not have gotten together.”

You laugh. “Alright, you sentimental dweeb. It’s past your bedtime.”

“Just one more kiss,” Jamie replies, and then his lips are on yours and you forget what you were even talking about, anyway. 

[pagannatural]

1.21 Salvation

-John finally, after some 22 years, lets his sons in on his plans and shows them everything he’s got on the demon that killed their mom and Jess.

-John is such a good character. I’m not really interested in liking or disliking him, I just love his part in this story. He reacted to an unimaginable situation in a human way. Who among us can say, really, how we would parent two small children if our wife was brutally murdered on the ceiling by a demon who then burned down our entire house? John truly thought the whole world was a war zone so he made his kids soldiers rather than getting them to safety. To understand John you have to understand that Safe and Normal as concepts were destroyed for him. He wanted to protect his boys so badly that he tried to prepare them and toughen them and train them but he also wanted to shield them so he hid as much as he could from them. He taught them that people were dying and they were responsible for stopping it. He put all of that on their way-too-young shoulders all while refusing to trust them or let them in.

Under all that pressure, Sam and Dean created their own world, their bubble of safety with each other. They give each what they need in the most vital and fundamental sense, nourishing each other in a hostile environment. They share something that no one else could ever understand.

So thanks, John.

-“It’s not your problem, it’s our problem” is an objectively kind and supportive thing to say so I’m proud of Dean for managing to shout it angrily at Sam. Such passion such energy

-Sam looks like a little kid this whole scene where Dean and John are arguing about parenting him. Dean stands up to John again and defends himself. He’s Sam’s daddy now (sorry)

-John tells Sam “I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home” which is hilarious to me because it implies that he thinks of Dean as a homeless man (which he is).

Dean glances at Sam when John says this and then hangs his head. Sam is his home. And he feels responsible for Sam leaving school (which he is).

-In the car Sam tells Dean “I want to thank you” but the you comes out as “ya”. This happens another time when Sam tells Dean “I still love you” (or something close to that) in s5e11. It’s unusual for Sam. He doesn’t ya his you’s regularly at the end of a sentence. Jared and Jensen both have typical midwestern accents on the show. Jared intentionally changes his speech pattern when he’s possessed, so that words like “wasn’t” or “doesn’t” are enunciated when normally Sam pronounces it like “wud’n” or “dud’n” with a very soft “d.”

Point being, something is causing Sam to shy off of saying these things and making them sound too serious so he says “I want to thank ya” which sounds more casual. When he’s lost in emotion (like later when he throws Dean against a wall and says “don’t you say that”), he enunciates his you’s. I think this is unintentional of Sam and intentional of Jared. Sam’s trying not to scare Dean off or sound too confessional- he’s seen how Dean reacts to that.

-Sam says “even when I couldn’t count on anyone”

Dean gave him consistency and safety and the knowledge that he was always loved. Dean’s his sanctuary.

-Dean says the house is “burning to the ground, it’s suicide”

“I don’t care” “I do”

Sam is reckless. He has a safe place to land, so he often acts without really thinking through the consequences, and Dean is always there for him. This is the THIRD house fire Dean has protected Sam from. Interesting that Sam asked Jessica, his Dean replacement, “what would I do without you?” in ep1 and she said “crash and burn.” Actually that’s what you would do without Dean :)

-Sam says killing the demon is “all we’ve ever cared about” he doesn’t realize that Dean has always cared more about him than about revenge or justice or whatever else. Dean would rather have Sam. Wild that Sam doesn’t know he’s Dean’s top priority yet. I wonder if he knew that pre-Stanford?

-Sam gets angry when Dean says they can’t bring Jessica or their mom back. It mirrors Dean slamming Sam against the wall in ep1 when he told Dean their mom is never coming back. Sam’s anger melts as soon as Dean speaks and he ends up just kind of grasping Dean’s shirt and pressing into him with this desperate look on his face. They look at each other’s mouths.

-Dean is accepting of Sam grabbing him and throwing him against a wall, just like Sam handles it in s2 when Dean punches him in the face. They have no normal way to express how intensely they feel about each other so it comes out as violence or care when one is injured. Love and need and pain are inextricable between them- they love each other in ways that are painful. So they just submit to each other like Yes, finally something that feels strong enough. It’s like it’s soothing to express and receive each other’s needs, even as pain. It has to come out somehow.

-Dean says that the three of them are all he has and “sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together” Dean doesn’t let himself fall apart, and he wants to fall apart with Sam here, begging Sam to be careful with his life, to understand that he needs Sam. He’s saying Please don’t get hurt, I need you, I’m falling apart.

Sam could kiss him right now. Dean’s not holding it together enough to try pushing Sam away or protecting him from their feelings.

-Dean says “without you and dad, I-” and I think that Dean obviously loves and cares about John but the real issue is that he couldn’t say “without you, I-” on network television because they would have just made out. The mention of their dad brings Sam back to himself. He turns away from Dean and lets go of him with what looks like some effort. Dean looks lost and he’s also still tilting his head up with his lips parted looking like Sam didn’t kiss him. Sam asks him to call John.

-This parallels when Dean told Sam to call Sarah in 1x19. Dean calls even though he’s still emotionally involved in the conversation with Sam and didn’t finish what he was saying. He’s just admitted something that was difficult for him, and Sam reacted by pulling away, distancing himself, exactly as Dean did when Sam admitted Jessica isn’t the main reason he’s not interested in anyone.

I’m a John-would-kill-Dean truther if he found out about anything untoward going on between his boys, so the mention of their Dad and the fact that he’s in danger would absolutely make Sam force himself away from Dean.

This specific dynamic of Sam pleading with Dean for something and Dean surrendering brokenly to Sam in a Please give it to me Please just take it loop where neither is willing to act makes me want to chew on my own ribcage.

[cymk8]

alright, i'll bite. love the shadowlach. love it to bits and pieces. my wife loves karlach. i love shadowheart. its perfect.

please talk about your headcanons on their cottagecore life ToT

I'm literally over the moon over how many shadowlach asks I've gotten like YES. THIS IS IT. SO USED TO GIVING I FINALLY R E C I E V E

Taps mic:

They would be. So tired man, having gone through the whole final battle AND the quest to get Karlach's heart back AND all of the shenanigans Shadowheart gets into during the epilogue. I imagine they would have spent a while just bumming it out at a temporary home until Shadowheart finds a nice place

They wouldn't be too far from the city. I think...Shadowheart might even have some wealth left to her name or the both of them have loads of loot to live off of (oh Karlach...my beloved pack mule) and her parents would have gladly helped settle them

DOMESTICITY AHEAD

I'm standing by Karlach's actor in that they said that Karlach would likely have run a pub/tavern of some sort where she could tell stories and have all the frosty pints in the world; Shadowheart would simply be out getting the freshest ingredients and stuff from their farm

Karlach and Shadowheart would be EXCELLENT farmhands, the both of them very attentive to the animals and land that they have — once they get used to their responsibilities, that is (they might have some hilarious fuck ups; Shadowheart trying to make cheese or butter is...a hilarious image)

There would be a strict NO MAGIC rule in the house. Too many accidental fires from the both of them trying to take shortcuts on chores

Karlach would have the green thumb between the two of them — or at least want to. They would no doubt have a lovely garden for herbs and flowers. Always a bouquet exchanged between them when the flowers are in season

I think that Shadowheart would be the most socially awkward, city-slicker lookin ass; She was raised in the city, trained to blend in to high society, and even has a posh accent...oh it would be so funny to see her trying to interact with neighbors

...They would suffer from nightmares. An ever present feeling of danger — and actual danger too, seeing as Shadowheart sure was targeted by Sharran assassins. It would be rough for a while, but they would find joy in building the life they want brick by brick

They would finally have the normalcy and domesticity that neither of them ever got to experience in their past lives

Every once in a while they would probably get an itch to go and have a bit of adventure; at that point I think they might be able to pass on the care for their home to someone for a little while for an escape; maybe even Astarion as a spawn would take up that responsibility in exchange for a nice little home base on the surface

Karlach and Shadowheart happily have Scratch and the Owlbear live with them

[sparklingcid3r]

when paul and darry fully part ways, how often do they think of each other? how do u think darry felt being apart of the greasers fully now (esp bc darry canonically did want tb a greaser anyways) and watching paul become best friends w bob? sry tht was a lot of qs it was just train of thought.

Nah ur all good i fuck heavy w this🙏

If SE Hinton told me she was going to write a short story about anything of my choosing, I would pick Darry’s time in high school with Paul. I need to see the build-up and fall-out of their relationship. Pony literally says that there was no question of if Darry despised Paul—he hated that man. And Paul hated Darry too. I need to know why, it’s like a part of my soul is missing.

And it’s because of that obvious hatred that they live in each other’s heads rent fucking free👏 ESPECIALLY immediately following the breakup. Darry was way more free of Paul than Paul of Darry since Darry definitely had a shit ton on his mind yk with the whole dead parents+new guardian thing on his plate, meanwhile Paul literally had one less thing to do in Darry’s absence (which was hanging out w Darry) so brother had time to let it LINGER.

They aren’t constantly about to sneeze w how much space they take up in each other’s heads though, but I just know they’re constantly dealing with seeing mundane things and being brought back to when they were still close. Darry will be eating a bowl of peanuts and remember the way he used to throw them into Paul’s mouth when they went to the bar together with some of the football team. Paul will be at the gas station and smell the gasoline and remember the hours they spent in Paul’s garage just hanging out, just horsing round, doing what they’ve always done (🏳️‍🌈🤷‍♀️)

And Darry’s literally got a physical possession of Paul’s still in the house, you mean he didn’t burn that shit immediately?? I know what you are👁️👁️

That all being said, as a twenty-year-old who is freshly over Paul, he thinks it’s fucking hilarious seeing the way Paul tried to replace him. Nobody’s replacing Darry and to him, it’s just proof that their time meant something, enough that Paul’s immediately filling over the gap he left behind. Darry never liked Bob, though, but as far as he’s concerned, him and Paul are perfect for each other. Darry’s got his gang for life and he knows they’re better than whatever the hell Paul’s trying cook up on the West Side.

I’m not convinced Darry is entirely happy being a full-time greaser, but he’s at least subconsciously glad he doesn’t need to keep a foot in the door anymore. He’s got his place, he’s got his people, and they’re good people, so he’s content to make do with what he’s got.

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 43

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

These Walls Have Ears by notverystraight

Before Lance’s friends arrive at his apartment for their weekly movie night, Keith is in Hunk’s car on the phone to Lance, trying to explain why they’re late, again. Mid conversation, Keith drops his phone under the seat. Assuming Lance has hung up, Pidge and Hunk start pestering Keith about certain feelings that he may be harboring, leading to some quite personal confessions. Little do they know, Lance has not hung up, and is listening in on every word. Shenanigans ensue.

the second best part of this fic is how sweet and funny this is. this fic is blushy and silly and dorky and so so so!!! it is just fun and garrison trio my love. the BEST part of this fic is lance knowing hes hot shit

2. That Won't Last, He's Gay and She's An Alien by notverystraight

Lance didn’t know what he’d expected to see when he came onto the Garrison’s training deck, but it definitely wasn’t this. Keith was panting with exertion, pinning someone to the ground with the edge of his training sword just brushing their neck. And by someone, Lance meant Acxa, one of Lotor’s old half-Galra generals. Or, Lance walks in on Keith and Acxa sparring. He has not-so-mixed feelings about it.

usually every jealousy trope fic i read induces the PHATTEST eye roll literally of all time but this one made me laugh lol. its just such a ridiculous concept and its fun basically. also krolia lowkey being a thot is hilarious

3. Go the Distance by orphan_account [EXPLICIT]

Keith is a sprinter, Lance runs long distance. Despite not competing against each other directly and despite the fact that they're training to bring glory to the same high school track team, the two end up becoming rivals who are wholeheartedly committed to victory. Along the way, however, they find themselves awfully sidetracked by the other's inspiring legs--er, skills. Much fluff and smut and no angst.

bro lance is SUCH a goober 😭😭 he gets himself into the most embarrassing situations and there is truly no one he can blame but himself. honestly this one is such a fun read and if the explicit warning bothers you, it's not the whole fic! you can easily skip it. the rivalry and getting together is just as fun and stupid as you'd expect from them truly

4. Haunted House Hang-Up by Creatortan

Keith runs a paranormal investigation YouTube channel with his friend, Pidge. Pidge is friends with Hunk, who is friends with Lance, who is very, very haunted. And also, very, very pretty.

oh my LORD i love this. nd team? check. supernatural fuckery? check. cute flowery lance? check. dorky suave keith? check. side of hot firefighter shiro? check. just an 11/10 in general top notch

5. Rambling by Creatortan

Lance was a talkative person, and he thought he had accepted that.

no seriously bc the Can't Shut Up Syndrome is the Worst side effect of adhd and other nd's tbh. i hate the way you're excited and you can feel yourself start to build and trip over your words but it doesn't matter bc it's so background! there's so much cool shit ur sharing!! and then you see the eyeroll or the shrug and it just comes crashing back on you so so quickly and hard and. god. this fic captured that so well

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[tobiasdrake]

Okay, your post on Videl got me thinking of Lunch again. She was one of the highlights of Dragonball for me, and she just, didn't exist in Z? Outside of a brief appearance at the end of the anime. Do you have any interesting thoughts on her?

Lunch was mostly a combination of two jokes, one of which is gross and the other of which is hysterical.

As a character, Lunch was mostly relegated to two bits. For the first, I think it was a popular gag in 80's and 90's anime to have an elderly pervert try to pull shit on young women only to face violent comeuppance. I remember seeing this in quite a bit of anime back in the day, and that's precisely the gag that the Muten-Roshi came to center around.

This is precisely what Lunch was originally introduced for. A sweet and unassuming woman that Roshi could perv on....

Right up until a sneeze brings out her alter for violent retribution.

Lunch was the first Super Saiyan IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

Fortunately, since Goku spends so little time at Kame House as the manga progresses, we don't tend to see much of this. Instead, the main thing Lunch gets used for is indiscriminate violence. As Blonde Lunch settled in as one of the gang, her propensity for crime and ability to pull firearms straight out of thin air became her main gag.

You know, in retrospect? If she had to be written out? Robbing the Muten-Roshi of that diamond and then flying off over the horizon would have been a great way to do it.

Imagine if this was the last we ever saw of Lunch. Powerhouse of an ending for her character, wasted on a funny bit in the RRA arc.

Honestly, the RRA arc is peak Lunch. That time she kicked God in the butt notwithstanding.

For the last important thing she ever did in the series, that's such a note to go out on.

But in addition to the hilarious diamond bit, the RRA arc also gives us the only time Lunch has actually gotten to use her propensity for violence in a genuine fight. This is one of my favorite Lunch moments.

Mistakenly believing that the Muten-Roshi is the inventor of Goku's Dragon Radar, Red Ribbon moves to seize control of Kame House. This goes badly for them.

It's been like four months since that guy managed to beat Goku in the ring. Y'all made mistakes.

Red Ribbon manages to make him stop doing this to them by taking Lunch hostage.

But Turtle's there with the palm frond.

And then, shortly after, she robbed the Muten-Roshi for that diamond. Her whole part of the General Blue sub-arc is Peak Lunch.

(I genuinely don't know if using sneezes to transition between personalities is, like, a common ableist stereotype in Japanese culture or if Danganronpa's Genocide Jack was inspired by Lunch specifically. I do wonder.)

The 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai, however, would kickstart what would unexpectedly be the beginning of the end for Lunch.

Her takeaway from Goku and Tenshinhan's final match is that Ten is a fucking beast and Mama Want. This wasn't supposed to be how her character exits the series. But then Raditz showed up.

In the reunion between Goku and his friends at Kame House, Yamcha and Lunch would both reasonably be expected to be present. Yamcha's absence is explained by him and Bulma fighting again, while Lunch is said to have left after the 23rd Tenkaichi Budokai to go with Tenshinhan.

And then she never came back. This was the last we ever heard of her. Toriyama has said in interview that he forgot she existed, but he did still occasionally draw her or provide a few extra details for what ever became of her and Tenshinhan's... situation.

In interview following the release of Battle of Gods, he finally gave a final ending for Lunch and Ten's situation.

"Stoic Tenshinhan mainly does farming in addition to his training. He can split into multiple bodies and grow extra arms, so harvesting the crops goes quickly. He was found by Lunch, who fell in love with him at first sight and had been constantly pursuing his whereabouts, and even reluctantly lived together with her; but she wasn’t cut out for farming, and Tenshinhan has no interest in romance, so she left after just a few days. After that, it seems Lunch apparently stops in from time to time."

We don't get to see much of Ten's social life because he doesn't associate with anybody. He and Chiaotzu are an island unto themselves, only popping in when the Earth is in peril.

Unless they're undergoing some sort of heavenly trial or fighting the apocalypse, they don't hang out with Kame-senryu. And since our guys are Kame-senryu, that means we don't get to hang out with them.

They're off doing their own thing and walking their own path. And Lunch is over there in the mystical land of wherever they fucking go with them now. Popping in on the aromantic Tenshinhan from time to time while living her exciting life of crime.

So, farewell Lunch. You really were a hoot to have around.

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

taglist, @whenmypartysover

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven

this is after the devs were eliminated!

blakefriarr_

liked by seamuscasey26, markestapa and 7,394 others

blakefriarr_: posting this to inform you all that you're legally obligated to facetime me twice a month during the offseason

not to be gross or whatever but thanks for making my life better

<3

view 745 comments..

nicohischier: why. of all the pictures

→ blakefriarr_: excellent question! i raise you this: why not

adamfantilli: i had to share my slide with molly? preposterous

→ blakefriarr_: maybe if you'd stop letting your phone die all the time she wouldn't be the only reason you have sign of life

→ adamfantilli: buy me a charger

→ blakefriarr_: it's on its way to soph house as we speak i'll get mark to bring it to you

→ adamfantilli: the ten foot ones? → blakefriarr_: of course

→ adamfantilli: sick

jackhughes: i got a better picture than nico i feel honoured

→ blakefriarr_: i almost chose the one you sent me after you lost your tooth but then i found the picture of gravy and lukey needed a slide

→ jackhughes: the end result is all that matters (i feel significantly less honoured)

seamuscasey26: "which fantilli brother is your favourite?"

→ blakefriarr_: "that depends on which one of them is currently sitting right next to you" → luca.fantilli: and then she said adam

→ blakefriarr_: and then i said adam <3

dawson1417: who am i flipping off there

→ blakefriarr_: probably jj

→ jj.friar31: probably me

jj.friar31: you're welcome for being solely responsible for introducing you indirectly to every single one of your friends

→ blakefriarr_: this was 99% me you just happen to play for a nearby college

→ jj.friar31: ok but if i didn't play for a nearby college this wouldn't have happened

→ blakefriarr_: that does not change the fact that you have the personality of drywall

dawson1417: oh hey by the way

→ blakefriarr_: yes dawson

→ dawson1417: imagine if like i didn't need to facetime you cause you'd be with me

→ dawson1417: for the whole summer

→ blakefriarr_: interesting concept

→ dawson1417: that didn't sound like a complete no

→ blakefriarr_: so you know how i was working overtime the last two weeks

→ dawson1417: vividly remember wanting to call in sick on your behalf

→ blakefriarr_: what if i said that was cause i was training the two new hires they got to replace me

→ dawson1417: you're not fucking with me right now right

→ blakefriarr_: about the two people to replace one me thing?? i know that's nuts, right?

→ dawson1417: NO

→ dawson1417: ABOUT THE QUITTING YOUR JOB, B

→ blakefriarr_: no need to yell, baby

→ dawson1417: blake, baby, sweetheart, love of my life i almost made jack crash his car from how hard i slapped his arm there are a plethora of reasons to yell

→ blakefriarr_: <3

ryangraves27: every time i'm not running you get closer

→ blakefriarr_: did you take this from the ed sheeran meme

→ blakefriarr_: gravy my boy you're better than that

→ ryangraves27: it felt like it fit at the time

dougieham: oh

→ blakefriarr_: you inspire me hamstring

→ dougieham: ..oh

→ blakefriarr_: i couldn't really tell but that oh sounded delighted

markestapa: no photo creds for the eddy pic??? ouch

→ blakefriarr_: it is technically my screenshot you were just facetiming me

→ markestapa: i still can't believe i picked up the phone at a party just cause it was you

→ blakefriarr_: i am so universally loved and appreciated

→ markestapa: it's unfortunate, actually

edwards.73: why was i so excited

→ blakefriarr_: i'm pretty sure i heard mark scream that it was me on the phone and you yelled like a caveman

→ edwards.73: that checks

_quinnhughes: and just like that my 23 year no facetime photos streak has ended

→ blakefriarr_: in your defence what i said was fucking hilarious

read more comments..

[agentrouka-blog]

Cersei is very much like Tywin. She is as dumb as he is (by that I mean, they are not actually dumb but blinded but their own faults and insecurities) the only difference between them is that he was a man so he was trained to be a good administrator and she had no training.

(post referenced)

Let's also remember that Cersei lost her mother at a young age. That's the person who would have been best suited and most responsible for educating her daughter in administrative matters, and after her death Tywin neither remarried nor likely paid that much attention to Cersei's specific education. It was enough that she was uncommonly beautiful and reasonably obedient to him.

We saw how she treated Tyrion's nursemaid. While she may have treated her Septa Saranella with more basic poiliteness, I doubt she felt the same deference that Sansa did for Mordane, especially given her resentment of the differences in her education compared to Jaime.

The queen's face was hard and angry. "Would that I could take a sword to their necks myself." Her voice was starting to slur. "When we were little, Jaime and I were so much alike that even our lord father could not tell us apart. Sometimes as a lark we would dress in each other's clothes and spend a whole day each as the other. Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me. 'What do I get?' I remember asking. We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. (ACOK, Sansa VI)

Sansa seems to have been taught alongside the boys at least for part of her education, given she knows she is better at reading and writing than any of her brothers. No such recollection for Cersei. And note the emphasis on fighting for Jaime. Doubtlessly, he was taught by very experienced and competent teachers in everything pertaining to matters of warfare and knighthood. But he's not exactly a bright light when it comes to history, politics or the art of administration either. (Unless it's his special interest The Kingsguard.)

Cersei herself is hilariously aghast at his ignorance at one point.

"And Ossifer Plumm was much too dead, but that did not stop him fathering a child, did it?" Her brother looked lost. "Who was Ossifer Plumm? Was he Lord Philip's father, or . . . who?" He is near as ignorant as Robert. All his wits were in his sword hand. (AFFC, Cersei III)

Tyrion knew what he was about when he emphasized the importance of books and independent reading.

Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock, and the grotesqueries are all the poorer. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for twenty years. My brother later killed that very same king, as it turns out, but life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new king and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my House, wouldn't you agree? Yet how? Well, my legs may be too small for my body, but my head is too large, although I prefer to think it is just large enough for my mind. I have a realistic grasp of my own strengths and weaknesses. My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind … and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." Tyrion tapped the leather cover of the book. "That's why I read so much, Jon Snow." (AGOT, Tyrion II)

If Tyrion had been born able-bodied he might be as much of a "dumb" disaster as the rest of his siblings. As opposed to the clever disaster he is now.

[taraljc]

Somehow despite having watched The Gentlemen all the way through and enjoying it tremendously and thinking about it non-stop for 2 days it only occurred to me just now that the whole reason Eddie is made Duke instead of Freddy is almost certainly because the Duke and Duchess knew that Eddie would be able to handle Susie. And I do kind of love how the whole family embraces their new enterprise in positive ways that will probably lengthen Freddy's life by several decades because instead of doing so many lines of coke his heart is going to explode, he is now smoking every new strain of ganja that Jimmy comes up with.

I really genuinely wanted Freddy to die a horrible death in the first episode, and then by the end of it I was like ok Fredward, you can stay.

Speaking of ridiculous posh people, the three posh siblings calling each other increasingly bizarre pet names is so hilarious in part because Jack and Susan are such normal non-gangster names. And all the way through the way that Susie alternates calling people by their chosen diminutive versus full name when she's cross (she is the one to call Jimmy 'James' that one time she found out that he was in fact telling his new girlfriend where her super secret apartment was).

Anyway I have been thinking about a wish list of what I would like to see if The Gentleman gets another series and I think mostly it is this:

Terence Stamp.

Geoff taking over training Jack and him and Charly getting on like a house on, which would result in the use of 'my sister and your brother' in two very different contexts.

Freddy takes over Henry Collins' club, and ends up in a very stable threesome with Tamsin and Gabrielle's cheeky bestie.

Johnston tells Bobby Glass where the money Keith nicked is stashed, and that becomes a whole big thing.

Every time we see Susie at home, it's a different home. she has given up her penthouse and is moving from place to place after the whole mess with Henry Collins.

More JP, and especially his cousin riding that horse possibly permanently seeing as how we saw JP on one of those gigantic draft horses so clearly they have the means and the knowledge to keep it.

Sabrina and Geoff come clean to the boys about Charly and possibly Geoff moving into the manor, or Sabrina moving into the cottage which would involve a lot of hilarity given his menagerie.

at least one episode about the network of servants who actually know everything about everything because rich people treat their staff like furniture and say all sorts of things in front of them and there's no way Lawrence doesn't know absolutely everything that's going on at all times.

The return of the Gospel, whom Bobby Glass paid off with £8 mil and the promise of a segment of his business in exchange for never touching a hair on Edward or Fredward's heads.

Collins' accountant Thick Rick moving in with Tibsy at the newly renovated and gangster-free Faringbourne, and quietly and efficiently reorganising the entire back end of the operation so that the money laundering is all done in house rather than via preferred vendors who go insane on social media now and then.

One of Eddie's exes who is entirely less flexible (morally speaking) than the princess is now at the head of the Europol task force currently investigating Susie Glass' weed operation.

We find out why Blanket is named Blanket

[two-sides-samecoin]

i kinda want to do this for every ep which i have to go back on ep 1 but i just finished rewatching agatha all along episode 3 after the finale with the reveals and things are making soo much more sense now

1. holy shit agatha is looking at billy sooo fucking much

2. fr when no on is paying attention to agatha she just straight up has no idea what’s happening

3. agatha lists off the things that the other three want which ends up happening. jen was unbound = she faced being bound. lillie was reversing her fate = she saw her younger self literally reversing her age and also seeing death. alice was what happened to mommy= she sees her mom

4. billy literally noticing that agatha didn’t drink her wine so her wine bottle fills up a little bit. he took notice kind of calling back the “it’s not loyalty it’s analysis” right now billy is only capable of analyzing agatha based either on what she does or what other people say about her.

5. lmaoo agatha’s comment of sure with billy wanting to drink the wine makes so much more sense now.

6. billy saying “i stray not from the path” and agatha’s “thank you teen” comment is actually so much more fucking hilarious. girls like well yeah you made the rules happen no shit buddy.

7. billy’s comment of “anyone can become a proper witch with training” about sharon is very interesting to me. like it’s now realized she doesn’t have magic but he believes that she can learn but girl doesn’t want to learn lmaooo

8. the door is an oven which i think is interesting when the girls just spent the whole episode talking about the stereotypes that witches gain over the years.

9. the way jen is the first one to walk forward towards the first trail - she really is the path ahead

10. holy shit there are so many shots just in general of agatha being in front of teen and teen/billy being off to the side. it really makes the whole rio comment of “you’ve been distracting me from him” so much more real. the audience is literally perceiving this that agatha is at the forefront and billy at the side

11. oh my god i just noticed another shot. when they start walking towards the house: jen is stationed by herself, billy and agatha are together, and lillie sharon and alice are all in one section together. bro they’ve literally been showing through shots what their future is going to be i’m screaming

12. broo the fucking card invite literally is a fucking reveal after you realize. “my age has value” billy kept changing ages in wandavision and now. “i’m no fun alone” billy has a twin and ends up teaming up with agatha at the end. “i mess with your mind” legit the fucking powers he has and also wanda’s spell in wandavision. “my tricks are well known” he’s literally the son of the scarlet witch

13. waiiittt agatha’s comment of “sounds like a witch” hits so much after that invitation cuz girl put it together.

14. you can really tell now that agatha is trying to figure out how this works cuz she’s shouting at certain points of “sure we do something terrible but if we don’t follow these obvious breadcrumbs and we won’t get the big prize” she literally was the one to come up with the idea of the wine being an awful experience since she wanted to see what would happen.

15. you really notice how much teen is coming up with this because people are saying shit. sharon brings up “to get these wrinkles out” which that happens her face is swollen. jen says that they’ve been poisoned and well look at that they all feel the affects of the moment. then jen describes the poison which suddenly they all experience the effects.

16. jen said “you’re the canary in the coal mine” about sharon and look she dies in the fucking oven

17. billy stares at agatha again noticing that she’s faking the face and pretending to be effected

18. “you can’t cheat agatha” ohhhh so much to unpack

19. oh god you really get how billy is pushing them and going back and forth. the drink in a very commending cold tone of voice and then he’s goes slightly softer as he says the word fine i’ll do it oh oh oh

20. agatha and jen interactions are soo much more interesting now and has so many fucking layerings

21. “they can steal your power but not your knowledge” actually has soo many connotions now. while yes it’s about jen it’s also so much about the fucking road and billy in general. billy commands the road and makes everything happen because of his fucking knowledge about a lot of things. he just doesn’t know it yet.

22. agatha’s vision is soo fucking interesting now because i think it’s her more so realizing that billy can just hear stuff and would make it happen even in fucking hallucinations. and also billy ms comment of “what did you see” makes so much more sense. he can’t see into her mind - he doesn’t know the entire meaning of this to her. and he’s so curious about it because he can only analyze her

23. lmaooo her cutting into billy so quickly actually makes so much sense now

24. sharon’s death is actually so interesting when you think about it. she technically was cured by the dosage and the door opened when she received it but also the clock was ticking anyway. and then she dies after the trail. part of me wonders if she dies because billy knows that they’re not a full coven because sharon isn’t a witch thus killing her off because she isn’t supposed to be there. but also with his comment about “anyone can become a witch” i wonder if he thinks that she is part of the coven especially since she went under the drinking the wine and at the end he carves her name on the door. soooo yeah all of the coven has to die except for one. billy and death are exempt simply because their both outliers in the idea of death as one is death and one is upsetting the balance and literally creating the road

[whoslaurapalmer]

sorry for unfollowing and following, I misclicked trying to send an ask;

reverse unpopular opinion ask thing: ASOUE 2004 movie?

totally okay, i figured that was the case!!

there are! definitely a lot of little things that i also enjoy about the 2004 movie ~

-the way hurricane herman played out in the movie was AMAZING. that's always going to be the first thing i bring up from the movie and the most incredible part of it. truly threatening, really feels like a hurricane. -the aesthetic of the movie was also fun! i liked how dark and close everything felt, the clothes, those tree branches sticking out of the water on briny beach, the way all the little creatures and things looked......all the gears in the clock lemony's in.......ALL THE FOG.......it wasn't, like, perfect, but it was also creating a piece of the atmosphere from the books, too -again, the actual reptile room was SO COOL. both of them have a great sense of thrill and adventure but also. peace and comfort and a home of sorts -and both uncle monty actors are just absolute delights. (-ooo also billy connolly was a murderer on columbo.) -the animated credits??? and the credits music???? beautiful. -to this day, i still think about jane lynch as the realtor and her going "is this a bad time? :)" just. fucking hilarious -"kiwi watermelon supreeese" what a line delivery that was -olaf holding the newspaper with the picture of, i think lon chaney? and then lowering it to reveal him with the same expression. very fun -"doesn't it strike you as odd that none of our relatives are related to us?" it makes me giggle. -i really like violet having the sentiment of "there's always something", i think that's a really interesting take on how her brain works and how she sees inventions and their potential, how she sees the world around her. being able to use whatever's nearby, and like a determination, a resolution to not give up despite what's happening around her, but also really pushes how, as the eldest, she knows she has to be responsible for her siblings. there has to be something she can do so of course there's always something because she's going to make that something -oh the wide window!! i mean like the actual window in aunt josephine's house!!! with the big crank that pulls open the window shade from the middle!!!! ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. stunning. kind of scary. -i think the movie hit on some of the real fear in the books. not all the time, but there were moments where like, the spirit of it rang true to something in the books. like with the car on the train tracks, too -and like the letter the kids get at the end, i like the SPIRIT of the letter. i love the idea of the kids finding this piece of their parents they weren't expecting, because that happens in canon!!! that happens in the end!!!!! when they find the book on the island!!!!!!! so i like the thought of the letter. i like the physical look of that scene too, with all the sun. at the heart of it is something very precious. -i've said it before but i remember being, yknow, a kid in 2004 and being so HYPED for this movie, my whole class being into the series and excited about it, seeing the movie for my friend's birthday, the tie-in lunchables, i got the nickelodeon magazine at the time and they had interviews with the actors and with danhan (the photo was of him like sitting at a laundromat or something?? and the caption said 'this is danhan lemony's representative, lemony is hiding somewhere in this photo' and the TIME i spent staring at this photograph, trying to figure out where i thought a person could hide in it), it was, like with the show, exciting!!! thrilling!!! especially as a kid!!!!!