#dating with mental health

[candlebel]

Amo al robopayaso. xd

[classycookiexo]

[icaruspendragon]

my husband and i started dating almost six years ago and our anniversary is coming up so i was looking through texts from when we first started seeing each other and jfk i'm just now realizing he was flirting with me and i simply did not realize that’s what was happening.

he'd say something like "aren’t you just the sweetest thing" and i'd respond with some shit like "that's nice of you to say. i have a deeply ingrained borderline pathological need to be liked and also to make other people happy so it's good to know i'm succeeding in that."

[she-is-ovarit]

The man several years older than you who calls you "more mature than your own age" is grooming you. The man who says you are "special" or "unique" is grooming you. The man who calls you an "old soul" is grooming you.

These are grooming phrases.

The man several years older than you who keeps circling back to "Gosh, I can't believe you're real! But are you sure you want this? I'm so much older than you!" when you're cuddling or making out is grooming you. He is asking you that question during intimate moments as a way to unconsciously manipulate you into denial and perhaps get you to reassure whatever guilt he has, if he has any. Asking this while showering you with affection is an attempt to bait and coerce you into saying yes. Whether done unconsciously or consciously, he is fulfilling an emotional need you have for love or protection while at the same time getting you to say out loud to yourself and to him that you want this in order to work your brain into ignoring any bad gut feeling or doubt you have, then or in the future.

That is grooming behavior.

I understand that you might not want this to be true, and that you feel pulled to him. I understand it might feel more parental or brotherly than it does sexual or romantic. But this is how grooming works in many, many cases. The attachment or relationship fulfills a psychological need or wound you had from a parent or a sibling. His behaviors might very well be fatherly or brotherly, and then over time those little interactions blur into something else that you can't quite make sense of but that you like.

That magnetic, psychological pull you feel is not a sign of healthy attachment or a healthy relationship. You can be groomed as a child, you can be groomed as a teen, you can be groomed as a 20 year old.

And, yes, this goes for lesbians, bisexuals, gay men too. I speak with heterosexual situations in mind because there is a depressing, astounding pattern of heterosexual men grooming women and girls younger than them. But I have encountered plenty of gay men and lesbians in horrible codependent relationships that they feel simultaneously both trapped in and glued to.

[cybertron-after-dark]

We were robbed of a Rescue Bots episode where chief Burns, doc Greene and Optimus hang out and do middle aged dad things.

[theambitiouswoman]

Are You Emotionally Unavailable? 🥺❤️✨

Many people believe that when someone is emotionally unavailable, it means they care about someone else instead of you. But that's not always true. Being emotionally unavailable can happen for many reasons.

Someone may have their own issues that make it hard for them to connect with anyone emotionally. They may be afraid of getting too close to others because they're scared of getting hurt. Some people really like being independent and might not show their emotions much in any relationship to keep their sense of self reliance. Some people are naturally reserved or don't show their feelings easily because of their personality, even if they care about you.

Signs of an emotionally unavailable person:

They might find it hard to talk about how they feel or don't even know their own feelings well.

They avoid talking about personal stuff or their past, making it tough to get close to them emotionally.

They don't always respond to messages or calls regularly, leaving you unsure about their interest in you.

They don't want to commit to long term relationships, even if they seem interested at first.

They keep away emotionally or physically, which can make the relationship feel like a back-and-forth game.

They focus a lot on their job or hobbies, often more than spending time with you or dealing with relationship problems.

When you're upset, they don't give you comfort or might feel uncomfortable when you share your feelings.

They might get angry or defensive when you try to talk about emotions or your needs.

If they've been hurt before, they might be afraid of getting hurt again and avoid opening up.

They might have trouble understanding how you feel or not realize how their actions affect your emotions.

They find it hard to say sorry or admit when they're wrong, even if they hurt someone.

Instead of getting emotional support from you, they might turn to other things like work too much, using drugs, or having close relationships with others.

[xno-chill-memesx]

[oddsconvert]

A glimpse into the mind and body of a bloodbag survivor!

Here is a little profile on Declan's health (physical and mental) post captivity! Keep in mind that he was kidnapped, tortured, fed from, and mind-controlled to the point of catatonia...

tw / mentions of physical and mental health conditions

(tagging some people who expressed particular interest on my previous post about this! apologies if you did not wish to be tagged!)

@another-whump-sideblog @writereleaserepeat @dragonqueenslayer6

[cyrusclouds]

dear dialtown fans, here's your nightly reminder that you are an important individual who is worthy of life. whatever you're going through, keep going. i promise it will get better :)

[wallflowers-in-the-wind]

The more you look at the ACOTAR series the more messed up it seems.

SJM expected the audience to be introduced to the lord of spring in the first book. A man who is practically Eugene Flynn Ryder Fitzherbert incarnate with the flirting skills of Adam from Beauty and the Beast.

Have us fall in love with him to the point where people got their first book tattoos for him due to the book being a pretty decent but not Oscar winning romance novel with a Katniss Everdeen attitude as our protagonist.

Only to retcon the whole thing claiming it was ‘all part of her plan.’ Attempt to alter every character the fandom holds dear with only the ones left alone to be safe until she gets ahold of them.

With the new love interest being a walking red flag of SA, murder, various war crimes, and other unspeakable horrors. And the ‘found family’ that act like they’re better than everyone. And torture anyone deemed as a villain or ‘not to their standards’.

Any hope of things getting better is lost because SJM loves to pretend the previous books didn’t happen and misquotes events.

This fandom is held up by hopes, dreams, fan art, and fanfiction at this point. And I feel so sorry for the new readers who read the first book and fall in love with Tamlin and Feyre’s romance only for SJM to destroy everything about them and the first book and the rest of the series.

[asking-jude]

Do you want free mental help? What about remote, pay-what-you-want counselling? Visit askingjude.org.

[letsgrownnhealtogether]

You deserve clarity.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

What's with all the BLs suddenly being so pro-therapy and medication? I am 10000% on board, but I am also Confused.

Like, Asian countries talk about mental health even less than we do in the West, and yet here they are, with more positive representation in the month of April 2023 than I have seen maybe ever on American television?

Wild.

[hephaestusshield]

born to bring back the toxic and unhealed version of me to show them how to really play that game they keep playing, forced to heal and move on

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

List of things to remember when u have a crush

1. Some girl has dumped him and never wants ANYTHING to do with him ever again

2. He’s probably talking to at least 2 other girls at the same time as you

3. His body count is probably uncomfortably high

4. There are other girls probably throwing themselves at him and he probably cannot resist temptation

5. He watches p*rn and is probably addicted

6. He’s most likely capable of looking you dead in the eye and lying for months on end. He will swear up and down on his mom, his dead grandma etc to get away with one pathetic lie

7. Lying about his height unnecessarily

8. Check his following on Instagram or TikTok. That is all

9. Probably has an ex that he fumbled and isn’t over her

10. He’s probably only talking to you because he wants to smash

11. Probably on a plethora of dating apps and is constantly searching for the next best thing

12. Probably listens to ‘alpha male’ podcasts and believes he’s the prize

[theambitiouswoman]

Signs you are in a trauma bond:

1. You feel unhappy and may not even like your partner anymore, but you still feel unable to end things.

2. When you do try to leave, you feel physically and emotionally distressed.

3. When you say you want to leave, they promise to change but make little to no actual effort to do so.

4. You fixate on the good days as proof that they truly care.

5. You make excuses and defend their behavior when others express concerns.

6. You continue to trust them and hope they change.

7. You protect them by keeping their abusive behavior a secret.

8. You blame yourself when they hurt you.