#dan quotes

[natigail]

"I would like to say thank you to everybody for supporting the comeback of DanAndPhilGAMES. I was going through a beef (*brief) period unemployment because I stopped creating content on my own channel and people are always like: Dan, when are you going to upload again? You think that I- Phil had to drag me! He had to drag me back on the internet and sit me down to play The Sims. But on some level, I've been enjoying it. So you guys are reawakening me. You are de-conditioning me from the dystopia and I'm enjoying my time back. Everyone is just saying 'beef' in the chat. Yeah, cheers. We're going to be beefing. The comeback fixed our timeline. I mean, yeah, it kind of did. There's very few things in this world that gives us hope."

Dan Howell during a YouTube Live with Phil Lester on his 37th birthday (x)

I'm still a sucker for those soft-voiced honest moments that come from Dan when we least expect it. And this livestream was a great excuse to break out this old Dan quotes series of mine. (Also our dork didn't realise he said beef instead of brief <3)

Quotes from Dan (147/?)

[ginkgo-gremlin]

"some things are like cocomelon to me and some things are like crack/cocaine to me... but only because I have autism"

- me about making Majora's Mask out of paper maché

[aventurineswife]

[enyasaints]

Just a Chill Guy in need of a wheelchair

I have raised $135 out of $2600 pretty cool. It would be even more chill to reach my goal. Honestly I’m just happy you’re reading this

I have Diabetic Neuropathy. My nerves are damaged and as a result I have been struggling to walk. It would be cool to get a motorized wheel chair on the lowest key.

Direct Aid:

V: Enyasaint

C: $Enyasaint

If y’all could vibe, donate and share it would be chill.

[autumnal-cadet-depravity]

By combining this with Dan’s comment about basement bongos from the drinking game video, we can only conclude that Dan and Phil go to gay clubs to find some third gay man to threesome with. But the threesome is two fucking and one playing bongos in the corner.

okay so the phouse has a sex dungeon

[vixits]

Flutter Flutter hoe

[amid-fandoms]

dan howell acting like he's experiencing brain damage at the thought of saying anything nice about phil when his dramatic ass tweeted this a month after meeting him cause he couldn't cope with not living in his bedside drawer 🙄

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 2

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[ultrakillblast]

THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985)

[satoshy12]

Happy Jazz = no Dan, Hurt Jazz = WE HAVE DAN!

Booster Gold". I command you to make Arkham safe! The future of creation depends on it!" Batman:" What?" Booster Gold:" Do you know the horror I and other time travellers experienced just a few days ago, for the key to the beginning of the end of all things is in Arkham?" Flash:" Stop, stop, what are you talking about?" Booster Gold: "I saw Dan! His sister is an intern at Arkham, what do you think will happen if she gets hurt or worse, killed by them?" The other time travellers all stop and look at Booster Gold: "If this is some more of you crying wolf to scare us!" Booster Gold:" NO! I LEARNED MY LESSON AFTER 2 TIMES! I CAN EVEN PROVE IT, LOOK!!" Shows them a picture on his phone that he took of Dan. Ted: "He's telling the truth about Dan for once… Wait! YOU SAID ARKHAM! BATMAN!!"

Batman pulls out phone:" On it….. Done. She will now be interning at Wayne Child Psychiatry."

Time traveller:" Good!" League:" So, you will now Tell us about that. Dan Person?"

Extra.

A few weeks later

Booster Gold:" Even worse problems! She turns out to be dating Red Hood!" Time Traveller:" Can't she just stay safe!"

[reunitedinterlude]

phil: whenever i see an ambulance, i like to think there is a baby being born, rather than a death (1, 2, 3)

[natigail]

“I do want to have a sincere moment to say thank you to everybody for fucking leaving the house and being here tonight. Just to see me. Jesus. This was the 76th time that I did this show. It’s been obviously, like, a huge part of my life for the last two years and as you know - ‘cause I’ve been waffling about it - there was a fucking pandemic, we went through some shit, yeah? It did a number on all of us. And doing this was something every single day I came out and did it, I was like: I can just fucking keep going, as long as I keep saying this shit until I actually believe it. I fought so fucking hard and all of you were so awesome. Even when I’m trying to be real as fuck and you scream: eating ass. For everyone who left the house, and watching online, I really appreciate all of your support and you are the only reason why I continue to make myself look like a fucking ass on the internet.”

- Dan Howell coming back onto stage after finishing the last We’re All Doomed show in London, 11th of February 2024

Quotes from Dan (148/?)

[incorrectstarrailquotes]

Black Swan: My girl can wear whatever she wants because I am scared of her.

Stelle: My girl can wear whatever she wants because I can fight.

Himeko: My girl can wear whatever she wants because she a hoe and I knew that before we got married.

-

Sampo: My man can wear whatever he wants because I am scared of his sister.

Caelus: My man can wear whatever he wants because I can fight.

Dr. Ratio: My man can wear whatever he wants because he's a hoe and I knew that before we got married.

[demonic0angel]

Things that happened at Thanksgiving today, but I make it DPxDC

Damian: … Richard? What are you doing?

Dick: *standing on the lawn and staring into the distance* I’ve been watching Danny try and struggle to park for the past fifteen minutes.

Damian: Oh. *also stops to watch* Have you seen Danielle and Jasmine come in?

Dick: Tbh, no. I’ve been watching Danny this entire time. And oh— oh! He stopped. Ooh, he turned around. He’s leaving. Damn, he gave up entirely and decided to park on the grass. Oh, he ran over Alfred’s bushes.

Damian:

Dick:

Damian: He won’t make it past the gates without Alfred sniping him.

Dick: Damn, you’re right.

————

Damian: *after Jason did something* what do you think you’re doing, Todd?

Jason: Lol, your mom

Damian: Actually, my mom only used you for her own goals. In fact, your mom abandoned you. Twice.

Jason:

Dick: Now, Damian, that’s not—

Damian: People who have had their mothers die in front of them should not speak.

Dick:

Damian: *pointing at Tim* And you! You may have had two parents at one point, but they definitely don’t consider you as their child! That’s why you had to stay with your neighbors so long! You’re an inconvenience!

Tim:

Stephanie: Hey now—

Damian: I don’t even want to hear you. Does your mother know you go out and fight crime? Does she even care?

Stephanie:

Damian: *looking at Cass* You too, Cassandra! But mommy issues wouldn’t be the least of your problems with your daddy issues as well!

Cass:

Damian: *turning around to Danny* And I didn’t forget about you, Fenton! No wonder you fit right in, your abandonment issues, raging teenage angst, and appearance makes you just at home, doesn’t it?!

Danny:

Tim: …. What about Jazz?

Jazz: *who’s been silent the entire time*

Damian:

Jazz:

Everybody else:

Damian: No, she’s a guest here. Why would I do that?

————

Dani: Pfft— Tim, Tim, can I— *can’t breathe from laughing too hard* can I touch your hair? It just looks so soft! *still laughing*

Tim: …?

Jazz and Danny: *also laughing their guts out*

Dani: *tries to reach for Tim but she keeps laughing and can’t focus on asking him* Your hair looks so soft— keheheh! C-Can I touch it??

Dani: *eventually swipes her finger under Tim’s nose and falls off of her chair from cackling so loud*

Tim: …..

Jason: *also bursting out in laughter* YOUR FACE!! BWAHAHAHAH

*Dani then proceeded to do this four more separate times with other people*

————

Dick: You know how Harley is back together with the Joker?

Dan: Yeah?

Dick: He cheated on Harley again.

Danny: *whirling around, flabbergasted* HUH?!

————

Dick: *carrying several bottles* Alright! Time for alcohol!

Jazz: Uhhh, Dick? Damian is right there—

Dick: He’s getting drunk tonight too!!

Everyone: ????

Damian: Yes! Alcoholism! *takes a plastic cup and takes a big gulp*

Dan: *looking at the bottle* This says sparkling apple cider?

Dick: Shhhh, just watch the show.

————

*dramatic screaming from other room*

Bruce: ….? What’s that?

Dick: Is that Jason? He sounds like he’s in pain

Bruce: *standing up* is he okay? Does he need help? Should I go and help him?! What’s happening—

Tim: Jason is playing ping pong with Dan and Danny. And losing really badly while Jazz is watching.

Bruce:

Dick:

Tim:

Bruce: oh.

[hellsitedotcom]

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"For a man so adept at killing, his eyes were remarkably soft."

...DAN HENG, JING YUAN, WELT, BOOTHILL, AVENTURINE...

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[yourgalgremlin]

Andrew: 🔥🧨🚬