#daily affirmations i tell myself constantly

[letmesleepy]

I cannot die, theres so much food out there i need to try

[justalia]

persistence

this is probably gonna be my last post before i retreat into a serious break because i have things outside this manifesting world i need to sort through (i’m extra happy don’t worry about me, nothing happened!) i always say i go on break but i never actually do or it lasts just a few days but i’m for real this time!

i wanted to leave before but i felt the urge to post this cause i feel there’s a lot of doubt and confusion around this topic.

many of you still view persisting as a chore, as something you HAVE TO do or else.. something you must do or else..

many of you still view persisting as a job, tiring annoying and something you don’t necessarily wanna do if it wasn’t because you are manifesting.

this stems from a complete lack of understanding of the law.

what is persistence?

now i want you to pay particular attention to the second definition:

“the continued or prolonged existence of something.”

to persist within the law of assumption is to continue being.

nothing more nothing less, it is to just continue being who you decided that you are.

i’m sooo sure that all of you that are just approaching the law and are reading this post are having these specific thoughts right now:

“but i can’t live in my imagination forever”

“oh but i can’t imagine all the time, i have a life”

“yeah i persist but it’s tiring, i don’t wanna do all that”

“i have to persist so it manifests but i don’t have the time or the will to imagine all the time”

“i fulfill myself and persist but it doesn’t work”

or even..

“i get it! i wanna imagine all the time i don’t wanna do my daily tasks cause i just wanna live in imagination”

news flash:

YOU DON’T PERSIST IN THE IMAGINAL ACT. YOU PERSIST IN THE IMPLICATION THE IMAGINAL ACT MAKES ABOUT YOU.

no shit you find it tiring and see it as a job if you think you have to constantly visualize/affirm to persist in being.

whatever your imaginal act may be: IT IMPLICATES SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. IT CHANGES SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.

now i’m gonna take visualization as an example because i am a visualizer and this was exactly the mistake i kept falling into during my early days applying the law.

i thought i had to visualize my desire as much as i could, i saw imagination = visualization (for me) so to persist i must visualize all the time.

“i enjoy it, what’s wrong about it?”

look at yourself, look at your intentions: why are you doing this?

why are you constantly affirming/visualizing?

okay you like it, but why?

my assumption is that you are using imagination as an escape from what you deem reality. you still see your 3D as reality instead of a mere reflection of your state in imagination and use imagination as an escape from what you decided is reality.

you see this world of shadows, you don’t like it you think: i can visualize this!

which isn’t inherently wrong in itself but LOOK at your intentions. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’RE IMPLYING WITH YOUR ACTIONS/DECISIONS.

if that’s what your doing this means you don’t understand the law. you don’t understand that imagination is reality and you don’t understand what persisting actually is.

you’re always persisting in being

“i can’t live in imagination all the time, i want my desire in front of me!!”

well boo, hate to break it to you but when you come to me and tell me these things i genuinely think your dumb and i’m not even gonna bother replying to your question to try and help you.

why? because first of all it’s clear you haven’t even taken the time out of your day to read my posts, if not the source at least read the posts of the person you wanna ask a question to.

second of all.

WHAT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING ABOUT THE SENTENCE “IMAGINATION IS REALITY”?

imagination IS reality because YOU ARE ALREADY LIVING INSIDE IMAGINATION.

how?

YOU MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE ALL THE DAMN TIME.

what’s wrong about these assumptions is that you create them based on this world of shadows that is inherently reflecting you instead of actually allowing yourself to be and have whoever the fuck you want in this world BECAUSE YOU ARE GOD.

YOU PERSIST IN BEING SOMEONE ALL THE DAMN TIME.

RIGHT NOW YOU’RE PERSISTING IN BEING UNLOVED, UNCHOSEN, UNWANTED, POOR, BROKE, UNSUCCESSFUL BASED ON WHAT???

YOUR ASSUMPTIONS!!!!!

you look at this world of shadows that is reflecting YOU and think “YEP that is the end! that is who i am i can’t do anything about it! that’s my identity forever!”

YOU ASSUME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!!!

and you’re not constantly visualizing scenarios in which you’re unloved and unwanted, are you?

you’re not constantly visualizing scenarios in which you are poor and broke, are you?

you’re not constantly visualizing scenarios in which you are unsuccessful and insecure, are you?

RIGHT!!!!

you’re just assuming that you are..

YEAH.. shocker right?

do you or do you not understand that imagination IS reality?

did you or did you not wake up to who you actually are?

if God is within you, if YOU ARE A FIGMENT OF GOD, if you truly realized that we were put on this earth to realize our power and put it to the extreme tests to live this lovely human life to the fullest, if you ACTUALLY realized this… do you understand that you can BE AND HAVE whatever the fuck you want?

if you UNDERSTAND FULLY that this life is simply a reflection of your wonderful imagination.. do you understand that ALL THAT YOU HAVE TO CHANGE IS IMAGINATION?

THE SCRIPT HAS BEEN FLIPPED! YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE ANYTHING YOU DON’T WANT. YOU CAN HAVE AND BE WHOEVER YOU WANT AND IT’LL BE REFLECTED.

you can actually create a new identity for yourself inside of imagination and stick with it because that’s who you truly are!!!

remember this:

YOU DON’T PERSIST IN THE IMAGINAL ACT. YOU PERSIST IN THE IMPLICATION OF THE IMAGINAL ACT.

let’s say you want your person back, how would i properly go about it?

if i wanted to use a method: i would imagine a scene that implies we are together, enjoy it fully, leaving the world outside of myself and feeling what i TRULY want to feel. i would internalize that there are infinite realities and i am just choosing the reality i would like to experience right now, i leave the outer world alone because right now it is showing me something i don’t want. i recognize it is another reality i previously created and whatever i see is LOCKED to that state, i’m not CHANGING THAT STATE, i’m choosing another one to experience that already exists or else i wouldn’t even want it. when i open my eyes i know that i am what my imaginal scene implied. i know i am that which i want to be despite the opposition of the senses because I KNOW imagination IS THE ONLY reality. this is when persistence comes in: what am i persisting in? I’M PERSISTING IN THE KNOWING THAT I AM WHAT MY IMAGINAL ACT IMPLIED. i actually am in the relationship of my dreams and i persist because that’s the only truth.

if i didn’t want to use a method: i decide/choose i already am who i want to be because i can see it with my mind’s eye, i imagine i already am who i want to be without needing to close my eyes and see it in a scene. i know i am who i want to be in imagination, it’s undeniable cause the moment i assume something about myself i instantly see it in imagination. now who did i decide to be? i decided to be in the relationship of my dreams with my person. what do i persist in? i persist in knowing that’s who i actually am now.

DONE! FINITO.

notice how i didn’t talk about the 3D expression. not even once.

i know that imagination is the only reality and i know that this life is SIMPLY imagination reflected, so when i put on some clothes do i go and check the mirror to see if i’m actually dressed or naked? I KNOW I’M CLOTHED, i don’t need the mirror to check if i’m naked or not.

ask me again “how do i believe imagination is the only reality?” and i’m gonna slap you across the face.

YOU JUST BELIEVE IT. YOU JUST ACCEPT IT.

TEST HOW THIS WORKS.

not IF IT WORKS. TEST HOW.

imagine something and assume that your imaginal act is FACT and not the act going on on the outside.

and when the old man tries to come back what do you do?

BE INDIFFERENT.

THAT’S NOT WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE. ACCEPT A NEW IDENTITY IN ITS PLACE.

you already experienced all that you could experience in that state, so accept a new identity NOW.

the 3D is not your enemy. it cannot do anything on its own.

it follows your state and it adapts to you without you needing to adapt to it.

[flcwermimi]

❛ THE OVERCOMPLICATING OF SUBLIMINALS ❜

What are Subliminals?

— Subliminals are hidden or barely perceptible MESSAGE/ AFFIRMATION embedded within audio, visual, or other media. The idea behind subliminals is that they can influence a person's thoughts, emotions, or behaviors without them being consciously aware of the message.

How do Subliminals works?

— As mentioned above subliminals contains affrimation which are embedded with audio/ music therefore u can't hear them consciously . They go right to your subconscious brain & once the affrimation are ingrained in your subconscious your body starts changing in order to match what your subconscious is telling : that's how people are getting physical results

Why do people struggle to get their desire

— The only thing is stopping you from getting your desire is not believing it . I've seen plenty of people who listen subliminals literally 24 hours but afterwards they say I didn't believe it lmao . I don't think the 3d or even constantly looking for result will stop you from manifesting.

How do people overcomplicate Subliminals?

— As myself who've been in subliminals community over a year can empath to all who are struggling to get results . I know it frustrating at some point and that frustration leads you to overcomplicate it .

→ When you Don't get your desire results you start finding sources and at some point you find the subliminals makers / or the source itself will wrote something in their description like this

: Drink plenty of water

: listen to subliminals 1 hour daily

: Don't look into the mirrors

: Using subliminals which are made with different formula & I don't how much limiting beliefs myth are there right now

Then what is the right way to listen subliminals?

— No there is no right or wrong way of listening subliminals , listen it the way the you want , you don't need drink tons of water or listen the that one subliminals hours and hours

— The only thing you need to do that is believe . I know there will doubts diffrent thoughts and that's okay it will not stop you from getting your desire. Stop telling yourself " listening to this subliminals once then I will get my results" / " listening to this subliminals for 1 hour then I will get my results " Your Desire are meant to be yours and nothing can stop it . Now also if u are listening subliminals don't listen it to get your desire. Listen it like u already have your desires and remember you don't need a large playlist of your desire subliminals or a booster subliminals or a blockages removal subliminals

Now go have your desire sweetie's 🫶🤍

[chaysreality222]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

𝐑𝓔𝓨𝓐'𝓢 𝟒 𝐃𝓐𝓨 𝐑𝓔𝓟𝓡𝓞𝓖𝓡𝓐𝓜𝓜𝓘𝓝𝓖 ! <3

hey shifters! it's c! i'm going through a blog identity crisis rn. but that's besides the point, we are here to talk about my experience as i completed reya's 4 day reprogramming! i started this process June 10, 2024 and ended it on June 13, 2024.

𝜗𝜚 𝐃𝓐𝓨 1 𝓞𝐅 𝐑𝓔𝓟𝓡𝓞𝓖𝓡𝓐𝓜𝓜𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝜗𝜚

the first day is dedicated to creating a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs that could be created in a physical journal, on a piece of paper, your notes app, etc. after that, you'll re-read it over and over throughout the day to really etch it into your brain. this way you'll be doing robotic affirmations to help manifest your beliefs! in which those beliefs include you believing in shifting and that you have the ability to shift.

ex. i wrote "i believe in reality shifting" in my beliefs area because i believe in that. as for non beliefs, i wrote "i don't believe in the tooth fairy" because i don't believe in that.

i wrote mine in my notion app! i read it multiple times and especially throughout the entire day. as i was reading my beliefs and non-beliefs, i can already notice that my mindset was changing! it gave me confidence in my beliefs about shifting so much that it wasn't even a second thought anymore. it just started to feel natural. i'd like to add that as i did my robotic affirmations, i played white noise and trickling water in the background on youtube (like they do in subliminals) which really seemed to help out.

ALSO, it's okay to not be re-reading every second or minute of the day. you still have a life you need to live and you have to take care of yourself as well. learn to balance it! remember, shifting is already apart of your daily routine. there's no external or internal pressure to have to do it because you're already used to doing it!

𝜗𝜚 𝐃𝓐𝓨 2 𝓞𝐅 𝐑𝓔𝓟𝓡𝓞𝓖𝓡𝓐𝓜𝓜𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝜗𝜚

the second day is dedicated to going throughout the day and doing things that motivate you to shift! meditate, listen to subliminals, etc! have a sense of gratitude and excitement about shifting to your desired reality and affirm yourself that you've shifted.

before i get into what i did for the second day, i had a dream about shifting and almost had shifted from the dream! i noticed i was lucid and began to say, "i have shifted, i have shifted, i have shifted". i started to feel different like i was being pulled out of the dream like i was waking up (i became very aware of my subconscious and it was like a tunnel opened up in back of me and i was about to be pulled through) and there was flashing lights! but the people in my dream heard me and grabbed onto me. (like wth, why did they have to be my ops). but, i did say it in front of them smh... anywayy since i was busy throughout the day, i turned the things i did into scenarios that could happen in my dr. going shopping turned into -> "this would be me and pansy shopping at the clothing stores in diagon alley in my hogwarts dr". drawing in my room turned into -> "this is what i'd be doing in my waiting room dr". you guys get the idea! i read my beliefs and non-beliefs a few times throughout the day. i constantly affirmed myself that i have shifted and that i shifted to my waiting room June 13, 2024! i made sure to mark the day i was going to shift like Reya had said, and kept affirming that. then, i ended off with a guided meditation from alunir before i had went to bed!

disclaimer: Reya had made sure to say this in her video, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO SHIFT WHILE THESE DAYS OF REPROGRAMMING!! These days are meant to reprogram your brain for shifting :) You will shift on the fourth day of the process!

"c, didn't you just tell us about the attempt to shift through your dream?" yes, i did 😭 but it's like i forgot about that fact because i had been dreaming. i did not have any intentions to shift before i had went to bed but once i became lucid, i jumped at the chance and took it fr. didn't work because of the ops, but the effort was there! </3

𝜗𝜚 𝐃𝓐𝓨 3 𝓞𝐅 𝐑𝓔𝓟𝓡𝓞𝓖𝓡𝓐𝓜𝓜𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝜗𝜚

the third day is dedicated to feeding your beliefs! read and watch about other people's shifting storytime's about their desired realities throughout the day.

i listened to kristeau's shifting stories on her youtube channel as i did things throughout the day, watched tiktoks from my fave creators, and read some dr story times on here as well! to add to that, i read my beliefs and non-beliefs throughout the day with subliminals playing in the background or music that reminds me of my waiting room dr. then, i also vaunted and acted like i was already in my desired reality. "this is what i'd be doing in my waiting room rn", "i'm so excited that i shifted to my waiting room on June 13, 2024", "i had such a good time in my waiting room doing (x,y,z)".

𝜗𝜚 𝐃𝓐𝓨 4 𝓞𝐅 𝐑𝓔𝓟𝓡𝓞𝓖𝓡𝓐𝓜𝓜𝓘𝓝𝓖 𝜗𝜚

the fourth day is dedicated to doing all the things you previously did into one day and shifting! read your beliefs and non-beliefs, go through out the day and do things that motivate you to shift, feed your beliefs, and finally shift.

my shift attempt pt. 5 to my waiting room dr - June 13, 2024 At first, I read my beliefs and non beliefs with a subliminal and fell asleep doing that. Then I woke up and I told myself to lock in. I put on a void state guided meditation w/ deep hypnosis by alunir. Let me tell you guys right now, that deep hypnosis is no joke. My sister was talking to her friends through voice messages here and there and had the tv playing but on low volume- All my surroundings drowned out and I was focused on her voice. Every time she snapped, tingles went through my body and I followed the meditation without a second thought. I had made it to the void state but I was drifting in and out of it. I think my headphones were too loud honestly, so it made alunir’s voice loud to where it would pull me back out of the void state. I began to fall asleep a bit but then, I saw marko (someone from one of my other drs). I kept seeing glimpses of imagery from that other dr and I was like looking for them to try and help me shift? idk why i thought that would work. Then, I ended up falling back asleep (rip). I woke up once again and told myself to lock in, so I put on a meditation by Reya. I was trying to get back into the void state but it wasn’t working. Ended up falling asleep not too long after.

𝐑𝓔𝐒𝓤𝐋𝓣𝐒 <3

i didn't successfully shift to my waiting room desired reality YET, but i've learned a lot from this experience and my mindset was definitely reprogrammed!

i learned that i was more focused on getting to the void state than actually shifting to my waiting room dr. Reya's words, "the void state isn't really something to shift from. it's something to pass through or to pass by from. you don't need the void state to shift! think of it like a pit stop and you're gonna go through it or whatever, and you're going to shift". i also learned that if i'm low on energy and extremely exhausted, i should just sleep that night and shift the next night! i was putting so much pressure on myself to shift that i didn't care what state my body was in. which is what i won't do in my future process!

i no longer find myself second guessing about shifting or having those intrusive thoughts against shifting being real. i also find that i'm more confident and positive about my shifting ability! which is why i'm proud of myself about this shifting attempt and have the push to only continue my journey. if anyone has any insight or tips to help me, pls leave them in the comments.

xoxo, c!

[ktempestbradford]

Jumping off of what I said in this post about having to dismantle certain toxic ideas about myself, I realized that folks might not know how deeply not being a straight, white, cishet, able-bodied, Christianized male (aka the Dominant Paradigm) in the West messes you up mentally. It's a huge mental health problem that isn't always addressed.

When I started up my latest round of therapy I began to acquire labels for some of the ways I acted or reacted to situations. One day in session I was like: Was that a trauma response? It was, wasn't it? And my therapist confirmed. What confused me is that I didn't think I'd experienced trauma.

The idea I had of trauma was some Major Incident in which something Very Bad had happened to me or near me. Or it was about being in abusive situations, usually at home. The kind of ways trauma is depicted in the media.

Then I came across a Twitter thread in which the person said that everyone needs therapy, especially marginalized people, because the way Western society works, anyone who is not the Dominant Paradigm or doesn't hew closely to it is constantly being harmed by society.

Are you BIPOC? Racism is almost everywhere, and where it is, it's constant. It's also not always KKK-level in your face racism; it's more often wave after wave of microagressions on top of whatever challenging condition you're in due to historical racism. In other words: Chronic.

Are you neurodiverse? Good luck not being overstimulated by allegedly benign activities like going to the grocery store. Good luck not being criticized on a daily basis because you can't act "normal". Try holding down a job that expects you to sit at a desk for 8 hours yet you can't even sit in a quiet environment because the asshole CEO read that open office plans make employees more productive.

Are you anywhere under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella? Welcome to the constant barrage of invasive questions from strangers, invasive laws, invasive religiosity... Once again, an allegedly benign activity (going to the bathroom in public) can be a damn crucible if you don't look like the "right" kind of woman or man. Have fun navigating the medical system when you want affirming health care.

I could go on. Disabled people, poor or working class people, fat people, any people who have been historically marginalized and oppressed all experience this. It is trauma. It is harm. It does affect us. But it's Chronic and Systemic. That's the crux.

Because we have to keep on going even with all this. It's every day and it's not easy to escape. So we "deal with it." Some of us have good coping strategies and or supportive family (bio or found) and that really helps. It doesn't alleviate the overall problem. Thus, we all need therapy (so the OP of that Twitter thread concluded).

I don't know that we ALL need it. And I for sure know that some mental health practitioners and therapy frameworks are quite harmful to marginalized people. I'm very lucky in that I have a great therapist and the treatment I'm getting is informed by my identity and background, not ignorant of it. Not everyone has that or has access to it.

What I do know is that we all need Community. True community offers true support, which is necessary for healing.

We also all need to know that our mental health struggles and our trauma are real and valid, even if they don't look or manifest the way we've been conditioned to recognize them. Don't let anyone invalidate your experience or mental health struggles because you don't fit into a specific, wrongly-labeled box.

And don't let anyone tell you that this society isn't out here traumatizing you, because it is. Society doesn't need to be this way. But here in The (European Colonizer Created) West, that's what those with more power have chosen for the rest of us. And it sucks.

I have nothing but hugs and empathy for all the other people out there experiencing this. The only piece of advice I have is: Find community, hold on tight to each other, be that oasis of Okay that others need and they'll be that same oasis for you. <3

[cosmicdream222]

hiii i hope you are doing well (^_^) so here are some things i manifested this week !!

- my package arriving in my ideal time, i was rushing to go to school and my dorm doesn’t accept packages so i wanted it to arrive before i left and it was INSTANT i visualized for a few secs and then was gonna continue getting ready but a got a call saying my package arrived

-seeing angel numbers, this was just for fun but so easy and instant again

-money. so i was running out of money and was about to get worried but then i just told myself “oh i never struggle with money i always have more than enough” yesterday and went on with my day and today my dad called me to tell that he received money from work randomly

and some more daily things that i forgot now but i recommend everyone here to work on their self concept. it’s been 10 months since i’ve discovered loa and i got the most results this past week as i’ve started to work on my self concept and been thinking how i wish i started doing it immediately. but it doesn’t matter bc what’s important is to start :) and do not be intimidated by it, i was scared that i would struggle with improving my self concept as i used to be bad at it but no, it was wayyyy easier. anytime you feel worried remind yourself in whatever way makes you feel good and let go. you really do not have to constantly flip every thought or affirm. what works the best for me is to focus on making yourself feel good, if you wanna watch a movie or go to mcdonalds then do it, chase you happiness, it will make you feel good and i think works better than to stay at home and meditating for hours, putting what you wanna do on hold. (not to say meditation doesn’t work or isn’t beneficial, it’s just do not force yourself to “manifest” anything, remind yourself that you can and will manifest that “desire” anywhere anytime so you do not have to put your happiness on hold, and you know what? you already manifested it, remind and comfort yourself knowing that this will change and you are certainly going to live your dream life, be excited about it, or even plan what you are going to do)

-🍒

Yass I love this and I'm so happy for you! Self concept really helps everything! And I definitely agree to focus on what makes you feel good and just have fun and enjoy life as much as you can. Even if your current circumstances aren't ideal, there's always some little things you can do to feel better. Lately I've just been enjoying sitting out in the sunshine and doing nothing for a few minutes every day ☀️

Thanks for sharing your successes and here's to many more 💕

[nakedbibi333]

hey bibi I hope you’re still online and can help me relieve my worries if that’s alright with you bc ik my question is not guaranteed to be answered! but without spilling too much… tldr, i’ve been on loatumblr since the historic ages, the big affirming and void and now all the way to edward art, neville and focusing on feeling the wish fulfilled frequently. I educate myself on the law from them instead of tumblr posts but i wonder, if one is constantly returning to their imagination to feel and experience their desires as a present tense feeling, why has it not reflected? i’m making it my only job to feel fulfilled with the knowing the 3d has to reflect but why hasn’t it when I haven’t been focusing on time until now? (even though I will go back to imagination as god, after sending this as human me) I just wanted to ask I think this is the big one I’m worrying about

It's hard to say because I can't know exactly what goes on in your mind on a daily basis. I get a lot of questions like this of people asking me what exactly they did wrong when they feel they "failed," but it's not always easy to tell you a straight answer. A few reasons could be: a lack of persistence/brazen impudence, allowing the 3D to have more weight than imagination, and not truly fulfilling your desires.

Remember that you must remain persistent even when it feels like you "failed" or "missed your chance" to get your desire. If your desire hasn't shown up, remain persistent. If it seems like your manifestation failed, remain persistent. There is no failure. There are no missed chances. There will always be time. Self must be reflected. Keep. Being. Persistent. Never give up on any of your desires.

I want to expand a little on the last reason (not truly fulfilling your desires) because I think it could be an eye-opener for some people who are still struggling to see their desires reflected. You are the inner self and you dwell primarily in the world of imagination. That's your true reality. You are simply convincing yourself that you are solely the outer self, which is false. When you feel fear it's because you are tricking yourself into thinking that you are the outer self that feels powerless, weak, and limited. The inner self is free, but they delude themselves into thinking that they have to follow rules and that they don't have the ability to have, do, or be anything they want. The inner self tends to give its own power away. However, when following the law of assumption, we know that to get our desires in the 3D, we must experience the fulfillment of our desires in the imagination first (the 4D). Then, by identifying yourself with the inner self, you can actually feel the true fulfillment of your desires, which therefore allows it to be reflected in the 3D (because you finally got yourself out of the state of desire and into the state of your wish fulfilled). So, if you do not truly identify yourself with the inner self, you will still feel desire and keep yourself out of the state of fulfillment. To avoid this, all you have to do is identify yourself with your inner self and always fulfill yourself every time you feel desire. This will keep you out of the state of desire.

[cafe-au-lait-loa]

How I manifested 3P away & How I manifested 3P in the first place

Long time no see, I haven’t updated in a really long time. To be completely honest, I was having a hard time with my manifestations and I can completely understand why now.

🤍 So what happened since the last post?

I manifested so much shit, and I had to take accountability for it. When I made my first post, I was in a break up but still in full contact with my ex, our break up was caused by an external thing (which surprise surprise, I also manifested) but we were still on really good terms and telling each other daily that we loved each other. 

At that point, I made my first mistake : I thought that this was happening to me, I thought that I couldn’t change whatever was going on because it wasn’t caused by him or me. This led me into the feeling of not controlling whatever was going on and therefore, not even trying to change it.

When I moved back to my own country (we’re from different countries, met and dated in a third country), I started to freak out. I was constantly plagued with the idea that he was going to forget about me and that he was going to find someone else. Obviously, as I entertained these thoughts, they started to manifest into my own reality. He ended answering less and less, only for him to tell me that he had found someone else (someone I was weary of during our relationship even though he had absolutely no care about her at the time) and then ghosted me and removed me from all socials.

That was my second mistake : I indulged in those thoughts, let them consume me. Therefore, they had no choice but to manifest in my reality.

During this entire time, I followed internet gurus that were just not for me. Now, do I think that they are wrong about what they teach? Sometimes, yes. But my main problem was that I had successfully manifested an SP before, but those gurus told me that my way of doing was wrong and that I needed to do it differently. I followed those rules for almost 6 months, and in combination with mistake 2, it all went downhill for me. Now, why do I put mistake 2 and this mistake together? Well, it’s very easy, coaches were telling me that it was okay to feel whatever I was feeling, and that kept me in a place of indulging in my negative thoughts.

That’s mistake number three : I was following blindly, even when I knew something wasn’t for me.

🤍 How did I turn the situation in my favor?

Near the end of July, I decided that I was done following everyone's advice and I was going to go back to my roots : robotic affirming. That’s when I rediscovered Sammy Ingram. Now, I do think that Sammy, just like any LOA coach, doesn’t fit with everyone, and she didn’t fit with me the first time I discovered LOA. However, that time around, I was fed up with all the bullshit I had manifested, I was ready to get this done and I was ready for some harsh truth and tough love.

I created four affirmations that suited me and my situations. I tried to not think about 3P as much as I could and as soon as she would appear in my thoughts, I would just tell myself “This person does not exist in my universe or in SP’s life”. I was affirming as much as I could, I was sometimes daydreaming of my ideal life with SP and I was not letting the 3D fuck this up for me. Would I say that I was perfect all the time? No, no one is. But I was putting in the work and holding myself accountable.

About a week after starting this, I felt the urge to check the 3D, but keeping myself in this mindset, I didn’t let myself do it. Until I finally did. 3P and SP had removed their pictures together (their profile pictures), 3P had removed his city from her bio and nothing about the two of them being together ever reappeared. I was FLABBERGASTED. That’s it! I was back on my game! Three weeks later, SP suddenly followed me on tiktok, and then used my tiktok to follow me again on instagram. 

🤍 What has been happening since then?

Well, it’s been about a week since SP followed me again on socials, and it’s been a bit hard. Knowing that I can contact him anytime made it a lot harder for me, so I did my share of mistakes (sending him a reel and a message). But since yesterday, I’ve been back on track, focusing on me and my affirmations. I also started scripting again as it does make me feel good. I know that with persistence, SP will be back and he’ll obsess over me all over again. I’ll be sure to update you when he does. I also plan on posting about my manifestation story in general so you can learn a bit more from me.

🤍 🤍 🤍 Happy manifesting!

[femmefatalevibe]

Hi Femme Fatale,

I hope your day has been great. I’m 25 and

I have a very traumatized past of DA in the household from a young age. This unfortunately kept me from being with a man of value/or just making the first move to date. I don’t understand the “signals,” that men may send to women if they’re interested. I get nervous when I see a man I find attractive and/or my standard and I walk right past them or avoid them. It even happens when I see the men showing interest in me while passing: eyes widen, eyebrows go up, they’re eyes linger on me. I dress well AT times.

But idk. I’m single, I would like to date but I don’t see it happening for me at any point rn. I’m also awkward and I blurt out things. I don’t feel “sexy” or secure— I’m constantly apologizing to a guy (I’m interested in) about little things I may have done on accident. I feel like I have to change my wholleeee self, I usually am makeup less and I wear pretty good clothing but I’m saving up to redo my wardrobe. I don’t feel like the woman I aspire to be like: dream hair, clothes, makeup etc.

I have to save up for that type of woman I want to be.

I’m just overwhelmed and saddened that I am self sabotaging myself from dating.

I don’t mind being single but I do feel like it’s time for me, and I’m ready. But with the abuse I experienced and me running from men and only being friends with “unattractive” men as my safety.

I hope that makes sense

Thanks !

Hi love! I'm sorry that you've had to go through these traumatic events and that these experiences have left you with (understandable!) self-image issues. While the art of socializing and flirting is definitely helpful and is a learnable skill set, from what you've told me, it seems like the most pivotal thing you can do for yourself is to begin seeing yourself as desirable and finding ways to feel desirable in your daily life. You don't need to change your whole self if that doesn't align with who you feel you are, but your life is your canvas, so change any aspects of yourself that you see fit to align with the person you aspire to be.

I'm glad you're able to work towards dressing like your best and most authentic self – this practice is so helpful for self-confidence! If you want to experiment with a little makeup, try something subtle (like a tinted lip balm or gloss, a cheek tint, tinted moisturizer, or mascara) or wear a certain scented lotion/perfume/body bronzing lotion, etc. to see how it makes you feel.

However, your most valuable and priceless asset is your self-perception and confidence. Certain ways to enhance these aspects of your life are completely free:

Posture: Standing up straight, getting comfortable with direct eye contact and smiling (short bursts to build up to tension-creating glances), laughing and allowing your personality to show through in conversations, and maintaining open, relaxed body language

Self-talk: Engage in positive self-talk – whether that's through affirmations or simply telling yourself that the other person will love you before entering a room/conversation. Remind yourself that you're worthy and desirable until it becomes your default narrative. This one takes a lot of inner work and some time, but you can get there if you believe you can/let your emotions run their course throughout your journey

Self-pleasure: Having a consistent, effective, and fun self-pleasure practice is key for sexual confidence, which can only elevate your flirtatious energy in general and allow you to reclaim ownership over your body/sexuality. Consider trying an orgasm manifestation/ affirmation ritual to help reclaim both your sense of self-confidence and sexuality through one practice

Once you get reclaim your sense of self and sexuality, the external parts of the dating puzzle will come considerably more naturally to you as you will have the confidence and instinctive gut training available to help guide you along the way.

Hope this helps xx

[starbby222]

How can I manifest the hottest guy in college. He always goes to the gym near my house. But I swear he doesn't look at anyone, his girlfriend is beautiful and yes, I see him unreachable because like the others, he ignores me....

again, you gotta work on the inside.

he isnt unreachable, no one or anything is. no matter what they (dont) say or (dont) do.

stop telling yourself he's unreachable, bc in that case 'manifesting' him is useless because you've constantly affirmed he cant be yours.

He can. Realize the power you have. Change your thoughts, how you see him & how you see yourself in this situation. Affirm he's already single & ready to be yours. Persist in that. like soooooo.... maaaaanyyyyy... bloggers have said and even i preach myself: the 3D dont mean shit. youre experiencing him actually not being yours because you TELL YOURSELF he cant be. he isnt unreachable, thats why 'he has a girlfriend' (no he doesnt, and if he does its you.) you dont need a method rn so im not going to give you one. you dont deserve something to get obsessed about doing daily-nightly with no results in the end. things like 'how can i manifest' therefore receiving a method is trivial because all it takes is understanding that your desire is already yours because you know you can get whatever you want. ur not lying to yourself, ur not being delusional, none of that. pick the person you want to be: the girl who has that guy because she simply said so, or the girl who never even gets to talk to him because she sees him as above her.

much luck to u

💋!!

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hiii would it be possible to get a jjk matchup? :)

I’m a female, 18, n bisexual with a preference for men.

Looks wise um im 5’3 or 5’4 ??? I wear glasses and I’ve got shoulder length curly hair/ wavy hair. I’m kinda chubby? sometimes I’m pretty insecure about that tbh and other times im like hell yeah this is cute af everyone loves to have something comfy to squish.

Personality wise im an ISTJ! I tend to be sort of quiet and awkward when I first meet people, and I am almost NEVER the first one to try and make conversation with someone I don’t know. Like I’ve been told by friends that when they first met me, they thought I hated them and looked mean. I guess I can still be pretty harsh, but the closer I get to someone, the more comfy I am with being more I make more jokes and open up more and allow myself to be more childish? I guess? Like with someone im not close to I’ll be stiff as a board but with my sister im laughing and being stupid constantly.

I dont like talking about myself, at least not often. I always try to steer the conversation towards the other person cause i feel guilty for talking about myself “too much” so I just avoid doing it completely. I also hate when a conversation feels forced, like I want to be talking more to the other person than they want to talk to me, in which case I just match their energy lol cause I don’t wanna embarrass myself.

My hobbies are reading, listening to music, writing, and editing! I love listening to like beabadoobee n NIKI n TWICE !!

Honestly on the inside im a lot more excited and cheesy than I am on the outside. Like in my head im always gushing about stuff if yk what I mean but on the outside i dont show it because I feel cringe. And mentally i know it isn’t cringe to be affectionate towards people or to be excited about things, but when i try to say “i love you” to people or when i gush over some hot guy, it just feels so wrong.

Anyways my love languages are def words of affirmation (to receive) cause I like the reassurance, but also quality time cause that means I can just sit in silence with someone while we both do our own thing and that’s just the best thing ever.

This was sorta long I kind of went along the same format as the person before me cause I didn’t have an example to go off so thank u to that person too😭 <3

(NO REQUEST IS TOO LONG FOR THIS BLOG. Also I hope you enjoy this, have a lovely day!)

I match you with..

Gojo Satoru

- He’s the first one to talk to you and y’all became friends quickly. He doesn’t mind carrying the conversation, he likes to tell you jokes to make you laugh.

- When you start talking more and start to joke around, he gets so happy.

- He makes sure to reassure you daily to make those insecure thoughts you have about yourself disappear completely (he also reassures you that you aren’t being annoying or talking about yourself “too much”. Then he flicks you on the forehead)

- You two will often times sit or lay down together in silence doing your own thing. Occasionally he will show you something on his phone that he wants you to see (you never know what to expect, it could be a funny meme, a random video, or a cursed image)

- If you are writing a story or something he gets curious about what it’s about so he’ll often take the paper, laptop, or whatever you’re using to write and read it.

Masterlist

[ksahai]

HUMAN DESIGN REFLECTORS

As a human design reflector, you are born with a unique and special connection to the cosmic world around you. It wouldn’t surprise us if people make jokes about your being a psychic (or if you actually are one!).  It is your role to enliven and lift up the energy of others. You can amplify and reflect other people's energy to them in a non-imposing, non-judgmental way.

You will lead the way to a global awakening of consciousness but it is important for you to find your place in the heart of your community. Even though you have all open centers you have a protective aura to help guide you and are no more susceptible to outside influences than any other person.

Your biggest fear may be not being seen or included (talk about extreme FOMO) and this can lead to non-authentic behaviors and feelings of disappointment. It is important that while you feel the energy (pain and joy) of others to stay neutral. Questions to ask yourself: “Who am I today?” or “Can I be myself?” If you feel yourself dipping into this feeling, remember to delight in everyday miracles, which you’re so good at finding.

Feeling disappointed? It may be time to switch your circles or take a look at your environment. Feeling disappointed is your tell tale sign you are out of alignment.

Your strategy is to wait and get in sync with the lunar cycle. Surprise in the everyday miracles of life is what ignites your soul so look for them constantly and appreciate them even if everyone around you thinks you're crazy for hugging the tree. 

One moon cycle of living in alignment with your chart will help you to awaken your mind to what is your truth vs what is the programming. Focusing on your truth over your programming will help alleviate the resistance. 

Glow inside and out with a curated journey of oils and self care acts that will help you discover your purpose and infuse self love and joy into your daily life. 

CLAIM MY INVITATION Human Design Reflector Self Care Guide 

Morning – As someone who tends to take on a lot, it is important for you to ground yourself each morning by journaling and saying your affirmations as you apply your face oils.

During the day - As an open and sensitive being, it’s important to take care of yourself and not let yourself become overwhelmed by the world’s pain. It is best for you to spend as much time in nature as you can. In order to release the energy you pick up during the day, it’s important to have a dedicated space for you to unwind. Recommended Essential oil: De-Stress

Nighttime-  For a human design reflector like you, it is not a good idea to go to bed completely exhausted and start to wind down an hour before so you can release energies that do not belong to you and prepare for a restful night. Make sure you get your alone time!

Smell is also the only sense connected to the limbic lobe of the brain, which controls emotions and is strongly linked to behavioral patterning so can help you reprogram your open center and strengthen your defined centers. Use oils with your self care to awaken your senses and recondition any old stories you may be telling yourself that no longer serve you.

Glow inside and out with a curated journey of oils and self care acts that will help you discover your purpose and infuse self love and joy into your daily life. 

Not sure your energy type? Get your Free Human Design Chart.

[thecalmdaisy]

How to Kick Depression in the Face Gracefully.

" Don't let your mind control your reality."

Here are some ways that helped me overcome my depression. Also, if you have any steps to help others in our depression community, please share on your own personal platform. You never know who might have needed your advice.

1. Only You Truly Understand Who You Truly Are as a Person.

Those of us who have been through the dark path of depression know how challenging it can be to combat negative energies. This is because our minds are constantly thinking of negative things that have happened in our lives in the past or currently happening in the present. Now trust me when I say I know it's hard to just let go and be positive about certain situations. But, if you want to improve mentally, you can't ignore it. This was literally the first step I had to take to start the process of getting back to the person I had lost due to the worries and fears I had created within my head. When it comes to battling these negative energies, you must tell those negative thoughts, “You do not belong to me or with me, and I know who I truly am”. Do not let negative energies overwhelm you, and remember, no one can judge you more harshly than you can judge yourself.

2. Be Positive and Express Positivity.

(Speak Affirmations Daily)

Speaking positively about yourself and your life can boost your motivation for every day. When I wake up in the morning, I thank God for another day, smile at myself in the mirror, and I tell myself I AM beautiful and that I AM going to have a wonderful day. As long as you know and believe you are in control of your happiness, nothing or no one can steal it from you.

3. Sweat It Out in a Healthy Way.

For some reason, when I sweat, I feel so good afterwards. Many times, I don't just go to the gym. I actually go outside into nature and enjoy the beautiful world God has created for us. I break a sweat by riding my longboard, roller skating, or just going for a stroll along a nature trail. I don't know what it is, but something about the blue sky, fresh air, and green trees can really put your mind at ease. Well, at least for me, it does. But whatever works best for you in a healthy way, go for it.

4. Take Up a Hobby You Love or Explore a Hobby You Have Always Been Curious About.

Every person usually has at least one hobby they enjoy immensely, and if you don't, I believe it's time you found your passion. Having a hobby during such a tough time is a great way to get your mind off of things, and it's a great way to bring some type of joy into your life. I know when I went through depression, I couldn't find joy in anything, but after I cleared my mind of those negative energies, I began to go out more again and found a piece of joy in the process. In my case, it was longboarding, and I have been addicted ever since. It allows me to feel free, like a bird with no wings, and yes, I realize that sounds strange, but for me, that's the way it feels.

5. Cut Out Negative People.

Hold on. Let me grab those scissors for you, because it's time to cut out those negative people in your circle. If anyone in your life treats you disrespectfully, drains your energy, uses you for their personal gain, or abuses you in any way, IT IS TIME to cut them completely off. They are only holding you back from your true potential. So, save your time and energy by moving on to people who are better vibrational matches. There are people who want to see you succeed; there are people who care about your well-being; and there are people who will be there to uplift you and not judge you. After you cut off all that excess weight from your life, you will feel so much lighter. When I looked back at my journey, I realized how much I had allowed people to use me for their own personal advantage. Please remember to listen to your intuition because disregarding it will only hurt you.

6. Pamper Yourself.

Do something kind for yourself from time to time. There is nothing wrong with taking some time out of your busy schedule to pamper yourself. I understand how life can be busy and hectic sometimes, but there always has to be a bit of time in your schedule JUST FOR YOU. My own work schedule is crazy. However, I always find at least an hour to start a new TV series, do a facial mask, listen to my favorite music, dance, and any other thing that makes me feel good.

7. Food Choices Make a Big Difference.

Consume greens, fruits, fibers, and proteins to boost your energy. At one point in time, I ate burgers and fries faithfully, and yes, they were delicious, but I realized the effect it had on me. As a result, I lost a lot of my free time to sleeping, feeling sluggish, and unmotivated. Make sure you stay as healthy as possible. Occasionally having your favorite cheat meal is fine but not every day to help your body and mind out.

8. Pray Often.

While I was experiencing depression, I didn't pray as much as I should have. In the beginning, I was ashamed of who I was, and I didn't know if God would forgive me for all the sins I had committed over time. But as time passed, I realized this is exactly what the enemy wanted me to believe. If you do not already know it, the enemy loves misery, and you can either stay in that misery, or YOU CAN move forward into your greatness. People were not created to be perfect, and God knows that. Always remember, God will forgive your sins, but that does not mean you should continue down the same path. It means you should try to be a better person by exchanging your bad habits for positive ones. Also, remember to meet God halfway because God can only do so much behind the scenes. Therefore, it is crucial that you continue to take the steps needed to help yourself, and don't forget to call upon your guardian angels. They are always surrounding you, ready to help you whenever you are ready to allow them into your life so that you can reach your fullest potential.

By: "V"

[masteryminutes]

Believe in Yourself: How to Silence Self-Doubt and Achieve Your Dreams

Introduction Do you ever feel like self-doubt is holding you back from achieving your dreams? You’re not alone. Many people struggle with believing in themselves, but the good news is that you can overcome self-doubt and unlock your full potential. In this article, we’ll explore practical steps to help you silence that inner critic and achieve your dreams. Recognizing Self-Doubt Signs of Self-Doubt Self-doubt can manifest in various ways, such as hesitating to take action, fearing failure, or constantly comparing yourself to others. Recognizing these signs is the first step toward overcoming them. The Impact of Self-Doubt on Your Life Self-doubt can significantly impact your life, leading to missed opportunities, low self-esteem, and a lack of motivation. Understanding its negative effects can motivate you to take action and change your mindset. Understanding the Root Causes of Self-Doubt Childhood Influences Our childhood experiences shape our beliefs and self-perception. Negative feedback or lack of support during formative years can contribute to self-doubt. Societal Pressures Societal expectations and comparisons can fuel self-doubt. The pressure to meet certain standards or fit into specific roles can make you question your abilities. Personal Experiences Past failures or criticisms can linger in your mind, reinforcing self-doubt. It’s important to recognize these experiences and understand that they don’t define your worth. The Power of Positive Thinking Reframing Negative Thoughts Challenge negative thoughts by reframing them into positive ones. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this,” tell yourself, “I can learn and improve.” Daily Affirmations Incorporate daily affirmations into your routine to build a positive mindset. Simple statements like “I am capable” or “I believe in myself” can make a big difference over time. Setting Realistic and Achievable Goals The Importance of Goal Setting Setting goals gives you direction and purpose. It helps you stay focused and motivated, providing a clear path to follow. How to Set SMART Goals Use the SMART criteria to set Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound goals. This approach ensures that your goals are realistic and attainable. Developing a Growth Mindset Fixed vs. Growth Mindset A fixed mindset believes that abilities are static, while a growth mindset believes they can be developed through effort and learning. Embracing a growth mindset is essential for overcoming self-doubt. How to Cultivate a Growth Mindset Challenge yourself to view challenges as opportunities for growth. Celebrate your efforts and progress, rather than focusing solely on outcomes. Building Self-Confidence Small Wins and Celebrations Celebrate small achievements to build confidence. Each step forward, no matter how small, is progress worth acknowledging. Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone Taking risks and trying new things helps you grow and build confidence. Start with small steps and gradually tackle bigger challenges. Practicing Self-Compassion The Role of Self-Compassion in Overcoming Self-Doubt Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially when you face difficulties. It helps you recover from setbacks and keep moving forward. Techniques for Practicing Self-Compassion Practice positive self-talk, forgive yourself for mistakes, and prioritize self-care. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and that these experiences are part of the learning process. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity The Impact of a Positive Environment Your environment plays a significant role in shaping your mindset. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Finding and Nurturing Supportive Relationships Seek out mentors, join supportive communities, and build relationships with people who encourage you to pursue your dreams. Learning from Failure Viewing Failure as a Learning Opportunity Failure is a natural part of the growth process. Instead of fearing it, view failure as an opportunity to learn and improve. Bouncing Back Stronger Use failures as stepping stones to build resilience. Reflect on what went wrong, adjust your approach, and try again with newfound wisdom. Mindfulness and Meditation Benefits of Mindfulness Practices Mindfulness helps you stay present and focused, reducing stress and enhancing your overall well-being. It allows you to appreciate the moment and make conscious decisions. Simple Meditation Techniques Start with short meditation sessions, focusing on your breath and clearing your mind. Use guided meditation apps or videos to help you get started and stay consistent. Taking Care of Your Physical Health The Connection Between Physical and Mental Health A healthy lifestyle supports both your physical and mental well-being. Good nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are essential for optimal brain function and mood. Healthy Habits for a Confident Mindset Incorporate a variety of nutrient-rich foods into your diet, such as fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Find physical activities you enjoy and make them a regular part of your routine. Continuous Learning and Improvement The Importance of Lifelong Learning Lifelong learning keeps your mind active and engaged, fostering personal and professional growth. It helps you stay adaptable and open to new opportunities. Embracing New Challenges and Skills Take advantage of online courses, workshops, books, and podcasts to expand your knowledge and skills. Stay curious and seek out new learning opportunities regularly. Creating a Vision Board Visualizing Your Dreams A vision board helps you visualize your dreams and goals, making them more tangible and achievable. It serves as a daily reminder of what you’re working toward. How to Make an Effective Vision Board Gather images, quotes, and items that represent your goals and aspirations. Arrange them on a board where you can see them daily, keeping your focus and motivation high. Conclusion Believing in yourself and silencing self-doubt is a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. By embracing these practices, you can unlock your full potential and achieve your dreams. Remember, your best self is waiting—you have the power to make it a reality. FAQs - How long does it take to overcome self-doubt? - The timeline varies for each person, but with consistent effort, you can start seeing positive changes within a few weeks to a few months. - What if I struggle with self-compassion? - Start small by practicing positive self-talk and self-care. Over time, these habits will become more natural and help you build self-compassion. - How can I stay motivated to pursue my goals? - Set clear, achievable goals and break them into smaller steps. Celebrate your progress and remind yourself of the benefits of achieving your goals. - Can mindfulness and meditation really make a difference? - Yes, mindfulness and meditation can significantly improve your focus, reduce stress, and enhance your overall well-being. Start with short sessions and gradually increase the duration. - What should I do if I face setbacks on my journey? - View setbacks as learning opportunities. Reflect on what went wrong, adjust your approach, and keep moving forward. Persistence and resilience are key to personal growth. Read the full article

[ejaydoeshisbest]

I don't want to disturb anyone just because I'm anxious and lonely.

I don't want to disturb my aunties just because I'm anxious and lonely. Though they are caring, compassionate, generous, and kind people, I don’t want to become dependent on them and infect them with my struggles.

I am not their obligation. They have their own families to take care of. Though they say first and foremost that they love me and that I can call them anytime outside of work, I need to give them a break from me.

I also don't want to constantly bother them after all they've done for me. I think specifically of the consultations, the expensive medical expenses, and the treatments they paid for. If it wasn't for them, I'd still be gasping for each breath.

Whenever I do call them, crying, sobbing, or anxious, my eyes take in their faces the familiar expression of humanity and love. But my insecurity and shame tell me that maybe they're good at hiding their true feelings, which is irritation. "He's calling us again, it's your turn to comfort him."

But, no. My heart feels their genuine generosity.

I also don't want to call them daily because it feels like I am disappointing them; that I am still struggling with my breathing and my anxiety and panic even after all those treatments. Stuck in a loop. And they would reply with affirmations and validations. But it must be tiresome for them to always repeat the same comforting, soothing messages over and over again.

Who would not be sick and tired of that? I feel like whenever they see my face and name pop up on their screens, they roll their eyes, take a deep breath, and summon their most empathetic self to bear with me.

I'm scared that they would grow weary of me and abandon me. I'm terrified that they would run out of love for me.

I want to help myself and help others to please them! To assure them that I'm fine and capable again and all their efforts paid off. To not disturb them with video calls. I have to stop calling them and force myself to tackle this now that I am alone, or else, this will be a loop that has ensnared other people into my dour existence.

I have to take proactive steps to heal and improve myself.

I don’t want to disturb them especially when they’re at work. They have their own lives to live, their own spouses and children, and pets to take care of. They have their own problems to deal with, never mind my own. And though they always say (out of politeness or out of love) that they will always be one call away, I could not bear adding my weight to theirs. They may look like they have an endless supply of support, but every person has their limits.

Also, I sometimes think that they did not know fully what they signed up for. I may be too much for them to handle. What they thought of as simple remedies and solutions turned out to be more problematic and complex. I feel guilty because I keep calling them and my cousins and friends to apologize for my rude behavior during my first visit to Australia, but here I am, still being toxic but in another way.

I don’t want them to feel stressed and anxiously waiting if I will call them just because I FEEL panicky. I am like a baby, a duckling that is willingly not breaking away from his shell.

This feels like my decision ko to limit my interactions with an old friend. I'll call him "Ace". Ace and I might be dragging each other down mentally, instead of hyping each other up to become the best versions of ourselves. It got to the point where I felt physically and emotionally drained after hanging out with him. Plus, I couldn't handle his toxicity. We have different demons in our heads, but he seems to resign himself to a life of inactivity and inaction. I don't want to be like him. I want to break free from that. And so I cut off contact with him for now. And I hope he heals soon.

I’m just afraid that my aunties will do the same thing to me. I'm worried that they will lose their patience with me and see me as a toxic presence that they need to wash their hands off.

They have a happy life there, and they have their own issues. They have their own medical conditions. While others would rather suffer in silence, nobly, there’s me, polluting their clean pool. They have a good life there. I don’t want to cause them unneeded stress and anxiety anymore.

If ever I do call, maybe one to three times a week, I want to consciously twist every negative news I have with myself into something positive.

Words: Ejay Diwas Art: taken on Pinterest https://www.pinterest.ph/pin/42291683993607358/

[blondieambitions]

The Mute Boy with The Exploding Head: A Circus Sideshow of Problems.

What happens when your problems with someone root from one single problem that you're not allowed to talk about? How do you tell someone I need you to step-up their game in another because the root problem makes it where their game needs to be stepped up? The words unspoken eat me alive always stifled because the root problem stems to this problem. I look young from my age, 10 years, give or take, I think my reluctance to be in a relationship for the last 10 years left me almost unscathed by age, I see why people age so fast, he owes me rent for living in my head almost non-stop the past few months. I think about him almost constantly, it unhealthy, I know. Why is it so hard for me to not get verbal affirmation that his attraction is real when he's right in front of me or accessible to me almost constantly, everyday? Why is it so hard for him to give me something that seems so seemingly easy for me to give? I ask myself is he romantic? Can he be romantic? I guess I’m scared to ask these questions cause I’m afraid of the answers. More than likely no, he's not. But am I quick to judge? Do you see? Do you see now that constant circus or berating questions that I ask myself daily? The other day in the tub I imagined two mes having a conversation debating two sides of a subject. It actually got heated. Im fucking crazy. But I still fuckkng want him.