#i need to eat not just cuz my body needs food but cuz my soul needs food as well.

[letmesleepy]

I cannot die, theres so much food out there i need to try

[the-perverse-library]

Prompt (RWBY): Team RWBY are sent to detention with Glynda after another food fight. Unfortunately for them, Glynda has a new lesson she wants to give them, and she has the tool to do it.

Glynda was furious! The name, the reputation, and the prestige of Beacon Academy were being destroyed by a quartet of simple-minded ne'er-do-wells and their sloppy, stupid schoolyard antics. She had caught Team RWBY instigating another food fight at the mess hall and decided that she needed to set them right. If they wanted to behave like brainless little bimbos, then Glynda would make them brainless little bimbos.

The blonde disciplinarian stood before the four seated students. Her eyes drifted from face to face, gauging how much shame or guilt they felt as she glowered at Beacon's four biggest troublemakers. Ruby had guilt written all over her face, Yang seemed smugly defiant of her, Weiss retained her haughty, arrogant disposition, and Blake was more invested in whatever was on her scroll rather than her. Glynda tensed up before she slapped her riding crop down on Blake's desk. "Welcome to detention, girls, I hope you know why you're here." Glynda coldly stated as she towered over the four girls.

"B-because we had a food fight." Ruby meekly offered up. "But we had fun, you can't punish fun, right?"

"It wasn't even that bad, though. Do we really need to be in detention?" Yang probed as she flexed her arms a little. "Did someone just whine cuz they lost?"

Weiss just rolled her eyes. "Just tell us we need to write an essay or something. We promise not to do it again, " she remarked dismissively.

All the while, Blake kept her attention down and on her scroll, entirely ignoring her or the nature of her punishment. As if she was pointedly ignoring her.

Glynda only felt justified in her decision as she strutted to the blackboard and used her telekinetic powers to pick up some chalk. "Your punishment ends when I say it ends. Read the rules and understand that they are absolute." Glynda remarked as she pointed to the three rules written up on the board. Goodwitch's Rules 1. Twerk when twerked to! 2. No Eating *except me* 3. Obey the Boombox

"Eh? What kind of rules are those?" Yang asked as Glynda pulled a shimmering gold boombox onto the teacher's desk before her.

Glynda just smiled as she poured her aura into the golden device, bringing it to life. "Well, Miss Xiao Long... these will be the last set of rules the four of you will ever need." Goodwitch firmly instructed the blonde brawler as the thrumming baseline echoed through the classroom. The mature disciplinarian could feel the unique power of the boombox seep into her already as she stood in front of Team RWBY. "I hope you're all ready? Not a soul gets to leave until I approve of your twerking." Glynda's eyes flickered purple as she ripped her skirt clean off her body and began dancing. Her fat, round asscheeks slammed and crashed together as the boombox's music filled the classroom. ~Shake it, twerk it, clap it, break it~!

Glynda looked over her shoulders to see her students were beginning to feel the power of the boombox overwhelm them. A cruel smirk found its way onto her lips as she called out the four Huntresses. "Eyes front Ladies! Listen carefully, or you'll find yourselves crushed under the weight of detention." The mature witch joked as she walked backwards and practically started to bounce her ass against their faces.

The quartet didn't know what to say or what to think. The music was loud, piercing, and repetitive, slowly but surely replacing any thought they could have with its four simple commands. ~Shake it, twerk it, clap it, break it~! The four Huntresses soon found themselves dancing, making their asses bounce like Miss Goodwitch's, which they ogled with both reverence and envy. Ruby could only whimper as she made her ass bounce and ripple as hard and as fast as she could as Goodwitch slammed her ass directly onto the raven-haired reaper's face. I-it's in my head!! M-My ass~! I can't stop moving m-my ass~! Ruby thought as her eyes flickered and turned purple.

Yang shuddered as she felt herself cumming as her the bass rippled through her, making her ass and thighs swell until her pants exploded. "Hey~! I-I wanted ~thunder thighs~... B-b-but not like... a-ahhhhn... ~this~." The blonde fell into a deep squat and made her ass clap as pleasure flooded her mind, turning the powerful Huntress into a mewling, moaning mess as she twerked harder and harder.

~Shake it, twerk it, clap it, break it~!

Weiss wished she was as resilient as her fellow teammates. But she wasn't; even Glynda could see it. The moment she heard the aura-infused music, the Schnee heiress had lost complete and total control of herself. The dainty thing rushed forward and buried her face deep into Glynda's mature cunt as she twerked her little Atlesian heart out. C~Can't... stop~... Can never ~stop~... Weiss's thoughts were sluggish as she ravenously teased the headmistress, desperate for praise, desperate to be a good girl who follows the rules.

The only holdout was Blake, the faunus, who had her hands covering her ears, which only sparked a fire within Glynda. "Hands away from your hears this instant, Miss Belladonna!!" The mature blonde pulled Ruby out from between her growing asscheeks and quickly made Blake take her place. "You better learn to listen to me and focus if you ever want to grow as a Huntress." Glynda giggled at the blatant lie she was telling the cat-girl. Only to feel that Blake still had her ears covered. "Hrmmmph! Yang, please make Blake listen to reason." Glynda watched the climaxing blonde give a shuddering nod before she fell against Blake.

"N-no, Yang! Please, let go of my ea-~OooooOoooh!!!" Blake's plea collapsed into a lewd, mewling purr as the full force of the golden boombox hit Blake all at once. Causing the kitty to shred her clothes and nearly pass out from the intensity of her own storm of orgasms. Each one making her as dumb and as brainless as Weiss.

Glynda smiled at her four "students". "Now, you will report here every day for an hour so you can be properly equipped to handle life as a Huntress." Glynda gleefully lied to the four twerking, climaxing troublemakers. "Then I will send you on missions to the dorm rooms all over the school to help the other teams prepare to take on Grimm. Then every afternoon, I want you in this classroom, practising with me." The disciplinarian felt smug as she had planned to use her four most troublesome students as part of the free use fuckdoll rollout to incentivise Huntsmen to go on more missions.

"Y~yes mistress~!" Team RWBY squealed in unison as all four came, gushing and squirting over each other before passing out from exhaustion and extreme bliss. Glynda smiled as she turned the boombox off and confidently leered at the four transformed bimbos with a depraved hunger.

"I think I should get the first round, after all... I made you, why shouldn't I get to take all four of you for a test drive." The disciplinarian darkly chuckled to herself.

[honorthysalad]

Well with that whole 1519 European man having encountered something resembling 'Hikaru's insides and also that Nounuki-sama might not be what we think it is, time to reveal my theory that there’s actually a ton of ‘Unukis’ around the world.

I think the Unuki as we know it is a piece of the world’s immune system. That when too many impurities are in one area or there’s a tear in the membrane allowing a spill-over, an Unuki develops/is made somehow to halt the infection and consume the impurities. That’s why ‘Hikaru’ is able to destroy them when normally they can’t be; it’s his whole purpose, and he has other mechanisms in order to draw impurities to him to make them easier to consume.

As we know, before Unuki worship, there was plague and famine in the village which caused a lot of deaths, and Kegare is created by contact with death, disease, childbirth, and menstruation... for some reason. Anyway, that’d explain why there’s just so many here and why something needed to come in to clean it all up.

(the true secret of the abortion pills. if you're not pregnant, you're menstruating, which means more Kegare. maybe they were relevant....)

This may also be why ‘Hikaru’ wants to eat Yoshiki’s soul so badly; he’s reading as an impurity (proven by the fact he’s being rejected by a barrier made to keep them out), and so ‘Hikaru’ wants to take him in and destroy him. ‘Hikaru’ may see him as ‘warm’ but it’s probably in the same way a meal is warm and filling— that’s his food, that’s what he wants to eat.

Only thing I don’t really understand is wish granting, but we only have two instances on record of the Unuki granting wishes, one in a storybook and the Hichi wish. All the rest never got granted no matter how many offerings they brought. However, at the same time, wish granting doesn’t seem specific to the Unuki; Kurebayashi’s husband was able to make Iori’s pokemon stronger so unless he had a GameShark in that closet, there’s something more going on.

And also here’s a collection of an lung macrophages cuz they reminded me of ‘Hikaru’s insides:

And also a picture of a resting vs active B-cell. Once it’s activated, it produces more rough ER and Mitochondria, significantly increasing its size:

Yeah, so I think the Nounuki is just a natural part of the world, kind of meant to keep the supernatural and mundane apart. The special thing about 'Hikaru' is that he's what he is now, not that he was once Nounuki-sama.

Will admit these might just all be inspirations for the Nounuki, and he's still Hell itself, but eh- I like it when things that appeared unexplainable at first turn out to be perfectly natural. what can I say lol? And like when you think of the world as a body and every living thing inside it as a cell, it makes even more sense how impurities infect things. It's not that they're lonely- they need hosts, but also cause those hosts to die. Those tears in the membrane are no different than tears in the skin, opening the body to outside pathogens. Makes you wonder what's naturally fixes them; it can't just be on people like Kurebayashi.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Is there a Master Post for the "Monkey King and the Infant AU"? Cuz I've been reading through your posts with the tag and while it peaked my attention, there's still a lot I feel I'm missing like Macaque needing to "eat" Wukong? And something about energy transfers??

Howdy! I just put together a masterpost here: Masterlist so people just getting into the au have more information.

The basic idea of "Soul Energy Transfer" is that similar to the concept of Yin/Yang (or for fellow nerds Covalent Bonds); the Egg/MK needs a constant recycling of soul energy/chi to be made.

Soul Energy is consumed like regular of ATP/food energy while a baby is in the womb (which the Egg is doing too).

Soul Energy/Chi is absorbed from A: Stealing it from a person within certain distance (parasitism), or B: Literally eating a Person. Shadowpeach find an EXP hack since Sun Wukong is a near-infinite source of energy + can canonically in JTTW regenerate body parts (notably hearts) really fast. And the Six Eared Macaque in JTTW canonically had zero issue with eating his own kind.

If Shadowpeach are separated for a long time, Wukong will recover a large amount of energy but Macaque will have to eat a ridiculous amount of Soul Energy or he becomes dangerously hungry/fatigued. They learn this fact on accident when they have a big fight and Macaque spends the week with PIF.

The amount of energy required to make the Egg/MK is so great that it gives both monkeys a massive mortal debuff. Shadowpeach only begin regaining their more god-like powers once MK isn't dependent on them anymore.

I hope that's a more clear idea of how the Energy transfer works.

[lemonhemlock]

https://at.tumblr.com/lemonhemlock/no-because-hp-is-so-good-like-the-whole-idea-of/7btiy3hmut65

Omg yes! The whole thing with poor wizard families is so weird cuz like they have magic? Just use some spells and fix shit?? Lmao. Wizarding society doesn't even need any jobs! Spells and potions can do anything for them!! There also the thing that hogwarts isnt the only magical school there are more out there! The universe oh hp is just so vast and there so much that can be done with it!

I actually would love to hear ur thoughts on it! Specially on the rl connection it makes and on Voldemort and his death eaters!

so voldermort is SUCH an awful antagonist and my main gripe with him is that he isn't hot. yes, this is going somewhere.

voldemort's entire thing is that he is terrified of dying so he will do anything in order to avoid that. the horcruxes i thought were actually a really cool idea with a lot of fucky symbolism - breaking your own soul into pieces and stashing them away so as to ensure your immortality? pretty metal. especially since it's implied you have to perform a murder beforehand. neat!

but, at the same time, what exactly is voldemort's quality of life? why does he want to live forever? he starts off as a handsome boy and gets slowly turned into an egghead with no nose! he's played by ralph fiennes and he is not hot, i cannot stress that enough. wizards tend to live very long lives as is, remember that dumbledore died at 150 or so! voldemort dies the second time at 70, after dying the first time at about 50?? come on. so he's fugly as hell, he doesn't want to have fun or fuck bitches or eat good food or live like a king or watch an endless amount of soap operas. he just wants to live a noseless existence?? what a joke. had he not meddled with anything, he could have lived well past dumbledore's age, because he, too, had a few more good years left in him, but he wastes himself away with the horcruxes. and doesn't even use them properly? he is vanquished from his body once by baby harry, but why does it take until book 1 for him to become corporeal again? isn't that a pretty shit immortality system?

his political goals don't make a whole lot of sense either. ok, he wants to rule over muggles bc wizards are so very superior. cool. but how is that feasible? there are a lot more muggles than wizards and they have all kinds of weapons, including fucked up shit like carpet bombing and drones and WMDs. i don't really see how wizards would stand a chance in an all-out war. also, jk really sells him out short. bc she is so very british-centric in her view, she doesn't consider the international implications of this (lol). say britain got conquered by weird-ass people who can perform magic spells. are the european union (hail pre-brexit times) and the US just gonna sit on their arses while this happens? are the rest of the wizards in other countries just gonna stand by? please be serious.

she should have somehow turned this into a world-wide rebellion happening at the same time if she wanted any kind of chance of it working. but that would have been way more dystopian when she really was afraid of veering the books too much into adult fiction. sucks to suck, i suppose. this is why we're in this fandom today.

also. voldemort and his cronies are still very much just a minority within the british wizarding society. how do they not get their arses handed back to them by sheer difference in numbers? everything is on easy mode with these guys, just because they're not afraid to use unforgivable curses.

this needs to be said as well but MARKING your loyal followers who are supposed to stay SUPER SECRET to not risk imprisonment with a very visible snake tattoo is so.... it's a choice, i'll tell you that.

[dying4bonez]

Day 5

Breakfast

Cup of coffee-170

Biscuits-155

Lunch

Date-100

Cookie-300

Coffee-150

Dinner

Skipped

Today was a really crappy day for several reasons. For starters all the foods I ate were really high in sugar and calorie dense. Even though I did essentially stay on track and ate below my limit I couldn’t help but feel so gross and fat and like the pounds were already beginning to pile on. I think I’m gonna limit myself to only one sweet thing per day so that I dont end up craving anything and then eventually I’ll be able to cut it out. Also I’ll try to replace my lunch coffee with a Diet Coke to shave off some extra calories. The problem is I need to get my midday caffeine fix but it’s way too cold for any iced drinks so an iced americano is out the window. I hate hot americanos and I can’t stand energy drinks. Hopefully Diet Coke will be enough. I’m gonna also try to eat more veggies cuz Yknow that’s what skinny queens eat :) The second reason I had a crappy day is well idk. I kind of do but I don’t at the same time yknow. I’ve had such low mood lately and quite overwhelmed actually. Like an overload of senses actually. All lights seem too bright, the noise of life hurts my ears I just want to shut down. I can’t even stand my own friends now days idk what it is but every little thing they do just ticks me off. For example I have this friend who has a weird habit of making strange noises with her mouth. Inflating and deflating her cheeks ig and the strange noise it makes me want to rip my skin off and scream and cry and combust all at the same time idk what’s wrong with me. Also this is in a more general sense but I feel like such an outsider to everyone’s world. Don’t get me wrong I have plenty friends and a decent social life It’s not like I feel lonely persay but I genuinely feel like no body gets it or understands me. As cliche as that sounds but genuinely. People often tell me that they find me odd but I just think I’m normal?? Or my personality people make me feel like I’m a freak I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. People are quick to paint me as rude or say that I say things that are hurtful but I don’t see how?? And a lot of the time this comes from when people have ASKED me for my opinion I don’t get it. I also feel like I’m treated differently. Idk how but just different like people just act different when I’m around I wish they would tell me what they think is wrong with me so I can fix it. I am in university meaning I’ve been through FOUR whole academic institutions and it’s always the same shit. Please someone tell me what it is. Bring me out my misery and spare my tired soul.

Okay rant over have a nice day :D

[psychoxxsupernova]

When Your Body Rebels

I’m only in my early-mid 20s and my body is already protesting being alive and has been for the last 3 years.

Tho I’m lucky and I may be able to get a diagnosis today for the first time. It’s expensive as all hell obviously so I’ll be behind on my rent but god if this works and I can get on disability I will be so happy.

I constantly feel like my body is turning against me every day. I can’t make it do what I want no matter how much food or vitamins I give it if one thing falls out of order everything going goes out of wack.

I’ve been down for like 3 days because I over worked myself on Sunday.

Hell I’ve been over working myself in general. The first time I threw up and got sent home last week was my first full day off in about a month.

In the beginning I said if I have to work 3 jobs just to get out of my situation I will. I just didn’t realize my body would fully break down on me. I thought I was just being dramatic and I could get better.

No actually I kinda did know.

But I hoped my mom and dad were right. That this sickness was all in my head and I just needed to leave a toxic situation to get better. Hell, this condition is half the reason I couldn’t leave cuz I can’t force my body to work or else it’ll crash for like a week.

This thing that carries round my soul is so dilapidated and broken I don’t even know how to begin to make repairs.

My mind and body are at a constant war with eachother because I just need it to do what I say. Run when I want, endure heat when I need it to, actually intake food instead of only being able to eat small portions or snacks.

I nearly cried yesterday after waking up because I can’t do things others do like just opening my eyes and sitting up without absolute pain and discomfort. Just waking up makes my heart beat to hard and my body feel like tv static.

I’ve always just wanted to be normal. For my life to be good. And it was for a while.

I just forgot that I genuinely have problems that I need to address now. I was hoping this was all in my head but my body has decided to rebel against me.

[ruminate88]

Soul, Mind and Body:

Before the emotional abuse, I weighed 125 lbs. I dealt with 3 toxic men but only dated 2 of them. By the time I’m with Andrew, I’m up to 127 lbs. I know that isn’t a lot more weight but I stayed that way for years!! I went to the gym 3 times a week during the love bomb phase with Andrew. I felt so impowered, motivated and like I needed to impress Andrew. The energy between us was fire at that time 🔥I would Snapchat him from the gym and he would compliment me and flirt with me so hard… I didn’t lose any weight though… I was trying to eat so healthy too. I was just on a major high! I was just getting badly obsessed with Andrew though!!!! 🥺

Towards the end of the relationship with Andrew and after we break up, I’m just living on Mountain Dew really. I’ve quit the gym now. I can’t even think of that place without being overly emotional becuase that place represented when I felt my best with Andrew. For sure after we broke up, we went through a phase where he’s still flirting with me, calling me beautiful and trying to get my nudes but he claims he doesn’t want a relationship and shames and blames me for continuing to talk dirty with him. Says I make him weak and it’s all my fault he keeps coming back to “be with me”. Says I don’t respect our friendship 🤪🥴😳😭 I mean… I wore that too. I spoke up and told him “it takes two” that he’s also just as responsible which he won’t accept. It’s all me, none of him but the whole time I can’t eat ANYTHING 😝 there was so much drama and heat between us!

A couple years later, I’m now married to someone else and feel like I’m in an okay safe place where I can eat and be happy. No one blaming me for anything or working against me. So, I can eat and I still am a heavy Mountain Dew drinker!! Now I’m up to 133 lbs. the most I ever weighed!! Covid happens and the stress of covid was actually the eye opener for me to realize I was losing hair and that my stomach was all messed up! Randomly I had burning in my esophagus for weeks and I lost 25 lbs out of no where!!

No one had the answers to what was going on. I began to stop eating and of course I gave up Mountain Dew. I went from 133 lbs. down to 113 lbs. down to 106 lbs. None of my clothes would fit! I couldn’t eat hardly anything without feeling so bloated and full. I couldn’t even feel the “hunger” feeling. Everyone was worried and begging me to eat. I WANTED TO EAT!!! I just couldn’t 😭😭😭

okay… off and on my stomach would act up and I couldn’t understand it fully. I read that emotional abuse takes a toll on your nervous system and can cause various physical problems including IBS and digestive issues. One day it all clicks in my brain that your soul, mind and body are all one and if your mental is suffering, so is your body. So it’s really a mental thing caused by the emotional abuse!!!

today I’m around 102 lbs…. When I look in the mirror, I see bones and baggy clothes. 😢 I eat but I get so full so quick cuz my stomach has shrunk AND when I am full, I have to get up and walk around to help digest my food. I have to make sure I have plenty of fiber. I’m okay now. Just when I look at photos of the old me and the new me, wow… I’m sooooo skinny like sickening looking and my face has aged some for sure!!! But I’m still ok. It’s one day at a time and just keep going forward.

When I first lost the weight, I stupidly thought “oh wow I’m skinny I bet my exes wish they still had me now” 🤪🤪 that’s so delusional and messed up! My exes don’t give a care about my health 🥴😝 I have learned a very hard lesson that they’ve programmed me to seek their approval and I have to break free from that!! I HAVE to take care of myself and do it for me only. It’s sad to think I was so in love with Andrew when he does not care one ounce about if I’m okay or healthy or happy. Get it through my skull 💀 ugh 😣

[winterbrrrd]

A final poem for the sad white rapper

I once fucked a sad boy rapper who

Came fast inside of me

And afterwards he got up frantic,

Post-alarm ignored by sleep.

He said knew I would be thick but

Not THIS thick -

He’s so discrete,

As if his minor league rap schtick

Gives him the credibility

To hand select just like a butcher

Choosing his best cut of meat,

A dozen corpses in the freezer

Dangling hooked, ready to eat.

He landed in the frayed pink chair that

My black cat scratches with glee

And then proceeded

To spit his autobiography at me,

Divulging stories of

Ex-girlfriend

And his vast humanity

In the lengths he went to heal her,

Steal her sick identity,

Make it his own,

Like he’s so selfless,

Like a nurse working for free.

He took her pain

And made it his

In place of personality.

And now he’s using me like her,

My sacred body as dumpster

To discard of pent up jizz,

Like I was blessed to touch this nerd.

“You’re so much better than a robot therapist

And much cheaper.”

“It’s my pleasure,”

I’m always lying, distant forecasts for weather

A week away, will always change,

Just like the clouds that I capture.

In the back of loose screw head,

Beyond the pinball of his lips,

I’m repeating,

“didn’t realize that you would be this thick.”

Didn’t realize that I would be this thick?

Or didn’t think

That a girl with stretch marked hips

Would steal your fragile self-conceit?

Yeah, I’m thick

Like an aged tree

In a clearing of the woods

Providing shelter with my limbs,

Providing homes for nesting squirrels.

And my healing isn’t free

To steal from me like writhing worms;

Violent extraction from the earth -

No, sir, I save it for the birds.

My healing isn’t free,

It’s not some manic pixie dream

Designed for men in dire need

Of holy soul awakening

From a girl with neon hair

That she cuts, though she can’t see

What the scissors take away

Beyond her brain’s

Periphery.

I’m not a manic pixie dream

And my healing isn’t free.

Only a healer cuz I’ve hurt in ways

A man wouldn’t believe.

Wouldn’t believe but would gaslight

Starting another screaming fight;

He throws a wrench at the oven

And shatters glass;

I watch and cry.

I am not manic,

No, the truth is that I’m trying to survive

By throwing my adrenaline into

A state of overdrive.

I’m not a pixie,

Only seem it,

For I’m oft in states of flight,

Running from men who suck my soul out

Like the marrow they can’t bite.

They hunt for food, they hunt for sport,

They pose with me,

Bloody delight -

Exquisite corpse in camera lens,

Spent bullets glimmering in light.

I am a healer,

But not yours,

And I’ll make it mirror clear,

Showing you your own damn self,

Refusing you the chance to steal

From me my life source or my energy,

This well of gasoline.

I’ll flick my yellow cigarette

If you approach me just to drink.

There were so many

So damn many

There were 40 in one season

And reflecting on that summer

Gives me 40 more good reasons

To stay sober,

Stay connected

To my gods,

The one I choose.

They are not men,

Men aren’t my friends

Unless they love beyond

My boobs,

Beyond my thrusts,

Beyond my touch,

Beyond the trauma they can taste

When I come round

And loosen up,

They see an easy ass to rape.

They see easy

They see easy

They see vulnerability

They see a store

That they can loot

While the city is sleeping.

They steal TVs,

Leave fever dreams

That wake me up each night at 3,

No longer sleep,

No longer weep,

I just stare blankly at a screen

Marking my pins on Google Maps,

1,000 places I can flee

Sad white rappers who saw just saw trash,

Not my technicolor body.

So what, I’m chubby.

So I’m tattooed

With my own untrained right hand.

So what, I’m scarred,

So what, I’m childish,

So I can’t live off the land.

I see this universe in me,

The constellations so unique

That you wouldn’t recognize them

Lest I taught you to perceive.

And I reserve heavenly teachings

For the souls who do not seek

To wrap their tentacles around me,

Squeeze until I cannot breathe.

I reserve it for my ____

For the silence when we speak

Amidst the distance from

______ to Florence, Kentucky.

It feels like lightyears when we’re absent

From each other for two weeks,

Thank god sound travels fast as Flash

For children of technology.

And in the silence of the hours,

I can hear him piss and eat,

The little sounds of Stardew Valley,

Planting flowers on repeat.

So I pretend that I’m beside him,

Like there’s nowhere else to be,

And I relax within his grasp -

No nightmares,

Only reveries.

[mirrorsmp3]

https://at.tumblr.com/jaggedandweak/intuitive-eating-is-crazy-cuz-thats-just-eating/ejyfgzeyvkgn

yes but without restricting or binging, someone w BED might be full but still force themself to eat everything, and someone with another type of ed might stop eating even if they r still hungry 🙏 but eating intuitively let’s u eat what u want whenever u want and stopping when ur full and satisfied 🔥🔥🔥

i know it’s a useful phrase for people to eat healthily it just seems redundant to me cuz like i am in a place where it’s obvious to me to do… which i guess to point out is kind of almost flexing or rubbing it in .. which isn’t to say that i haven’t had unhealthy eating habits lol i guess what i’m trying to say is that the phrasing seems to me to indicate just eating normally as another dressed up diet which i know is the opposite of the intention. like i know it’s just saying to listen to your body but my immediate response is that i’ve had enough of so called content creators preaching to me about diets and so when they refer to intuitive eating it triggers disdain bc it sounds like another unhealthy complicated thing in a fancy dress.. this doesn’t make sense LOL am sorry i know it’s a good phrase for some ppl but to me it just overcomplicates things

[dadsbongos]

Chainsaw "Mommy Kink" Man

Dynamic: Denji/Reader Warnings: mommy kink denji, fuck makima :) fuck canon :), handjob, tit sucking/biting, use of “mommy”, “good boy”, etc. (typical mommy kink shit), virgin denji! virgin denji!, degradation (male receiving), fem reader :) Summary: i was thinking about that thing fujimoto said about denji going after makima cuz he needs that maternal figure in his life for a lil too long Word Count: 1.4 K ~~~

“I can’t share a room with him.”

“Well, I don’t mind. He can stay in my room with me.”

Aki was hesitant but you’d assured him countless times. Denji would stay with you and he wouldn’t be any trouble.

“Isn’t that right, Denji?”

“‘s right, Miss!”

“See? We’ll be fine.”

Denji liked you a lot more than he liked Aki, though that would be unfair to you considering how little he actually liked Aki. He just liked you in general. You were pleasant to be around - someone nice and sweet and exactly the kind of woman he dreamed of marrying as a child. Although, he doubted you’d ever dreamed of marrying a man like him.

“Uh, Miss? There’s only one bed…” he’d flushed in near full rouge upon noticing this. Not that he wouldn’t be absolutely stoked at the proposition, but he assumed you wouldn’t be.

“Oh, I know,” you giggle softly and pat the blond’s shoulder, “We can share it.”

A part of him feels joyed that you’d trust him. Just from his first introduction to Aki, he’d assumed that making any sort of companion would’ve been nearly impossible.

“Are you hungry?” you tilt your head as you ask, “I could make you something.”

You must’ve known he doesn’t cook. Or, at least, you’d figured it out due to his years as a man without enough money to eat more than bread.

“You don't hafta.”

“I know, but I want to.”

Denji’s first impression of you was that he wanted to be around you a lot more. He found it hard to leave your side and he’s glad that impression persisted the longer he’d known you.

He likes sharing a room with you.

It’s one of those thoughts that come when the mind isn’t particularly thinking of anything else. One of those things that’s so obvious, he just never sat down to mull it over.

The lights are out and he’s on his side, facing away from you, when he does realize it. His body feels heavy but he’s struck with the urge to turn over and tell you that. So, he leans up and shifts to rest on his other side so he’s facing you, but then he can spot through the darkness that your eyes have fluttered shut. He doesn’t want to disturb you.

He’s content to even his breathing to the rhythm of yours to fall into his own slumber.

He wakes up to you shaking his shoulder gently with that tender smile on your face, “Good morning, Denji.”

“G’morning, Miss…” he murmurs, moving to sit up.

“Did you sleep well?”

Denji’s head moves in a slow nod.

“That’s good. C’mon, I’ll make us breakfast.”

You’re such a wonderful soul. If he thought Makima was the woman of his dreams, then now he was in pure nirvana with you doting on him.

It was during a lazy morning that he even voices a thought anywhere near that, “You’re too sweet, ya know?”

You’d looked up from your own breakfast and quirked a brow when he said that, “I don’t think so. I like doing things for people I care about,” at his wide-eyed, almost astounded look, you nod, “That includes you, Denji.”

He’s happy to hear that.

You can see that in his smile and so you return it.

“I like taking care of you, Denji.”

It’s that sentence that unlocks such a deeply rooted secret inside him. One he hadn’t shared with his own self let alone other people. You’re going back to your food while Denji’s stuck staring at you in shock. He likes being taken care of by you.

Maybe a bit too much.

“Aw, poor thing,” you’re pouting when you come into the room, “Have you gotten any rest since I left?”

Denji had been unable to sleep since his realization, especially with you in the bed right beside him, and it’s becoming increasingly obvious.

His brain just registers your question nearly a minute after you ask it and he shakes his head. He desperately wants to sleep but knows that each time he tries, he’s kept up with guilt - guilt he isn’t used to feeling, he should add.

“Denji, what’s keeping you up?” your voice is quiet and soft, hand coming to brush hair from his forehead, “What’s wrong?”

Denji purses his lips and doesn’t answer.

He isn’t used to shame like this. He’s never been ashamed of himself or his tastes or his desires but this feels so new. A little taboo, even for him.

“Denji, I’m not stupid,” you’re almost humming as you speak, a small smile on your lips, “You don’t have to be worried. You’re okay.”

He doesn’t know if it’s the final weight crushing his eyelids or the feeling of your nails running over his scalp or your reassurance, but he falls asleep shortly after that.

“Oh,” when Denji wakes up, he finds that you’ve cradled his head to your chest during the night, “nice.”

“Hm…?” you come awake as well and smile upon Denji when you see him staring at your boobs, “Good morning, Denji.”

“G’morning, Miss.”

You can’t count the amount of times you’d told him to stop calling you that.

“Aw, Denji,” you murmur, carding your fingers through his shaggy blond hair, “that isn’t what you want to call me, is it?”

He almost rears back at that. He’s never heard you so bold before, “What d’ya mean?”

“I told you, I’m not stupid,” you giggle, “It’s okay. I can see the way you look at me, Denji, it’s alright. I like it.”

His eyes are wide but his hands don’t pause before shooting to your hips, “Are ya serious, Miss?”

You shake your head as if scolding a child, “Denji, that’s not what you call me, is it? When you’re in your head and all alone with nothing but your hand, you don’t call me ‘Miss’, do you?”

No, he doesn’t.

He knows that.

You know that, too, apparently.

You flip Denji so he’s resting on his back, his legs slotted between yours and he’s freshly remembering he’s only in his boxers and you in a large shirt and panties. If he could feel a heartbeat under his ribs, it’d be thundering. Your index finger traces over his collarbones and circles the ripcord in his chest before drawing down his abdomen and stopping at the hem of his boxers.

“What do you call me, Denji?”

His grip on your hips tightens and the blush on his cheeks is thick, lips trembling around the word, “Mommy…”

“That’s it,” you brush back his bangs with one hand and finger at the cloth of his boxers with the other, “good boy.”

Denji bucks his hips into your hand when you wrap it around his cock, your other hand goes to his hair and you brush it back, “Patience, baby. We’ll get there.”

His face is red and hot and his eyes are practically glued to where you’re stroking him. Red-tipped and already leaking pre-cum.

“Does it feel good, Denji?”

“Uh-huh…” his hips stutter back into your hand, “R-real good…” as you move to sit over him, Denji’s hands shoot to your breasts.

He’s mumbling and whining and you’d honestly be lying by saying you care to hear it all. But when he pulls your shirt off and cranes his neck to suck at your tits, you don’t protest.

“Such a desperate boy,” he twitches in your grasp at that, “You’ll take anything I give you, won’t you?”

Denji can only hum in agreement around your nipple.

“I like you like this,” you cup one of Denji’s cheeks pulling him back so you can spit onto the head of his cock and quicken your fingers on him, “So drunk with pleasure and you aren’t even inside me. How adorable.”

His needy hands wring at your sides, tugging your body so your boobs are back over his face for him to squeeze and suck as he pleases.

You can just make out the word ‘mommy’ and you giggle at it while his hips move to fuck your fist.

“Mommy…” he draws you closer and you lean down further.

“You okay there, Denji?” you ask upon noticing he probably can’t breathe with your tits pressed on his face.

All you get is his quickening thrusts and a thumbs up and Denji decides for you that that’s confirmation enough.

If he’d died right now with your hand on his cock and him suffocating in your boobs, he’d die happy, he decides at that moment. It’d be a worthy death for him.

Yeah, he thinks while biting at the soft flesh of your tit as he feels his orgasm close in, this would be more than a worthy death for him.

[dabilovesme]

Boyfriend!Hwajin Headcanons

Pairings: Hwajin x black!fem!reader

Warnings: fluff, suggestive, a lil violence but y’all be ight

- Mans was stunned when he first saw you

- You were a math teacher for a class of rowdy first years and Hwajin was assigned to dial everything down, so when he first walked into the loud classroom, his eyes were stuck in you

-Who can blame him? You were the finest mf in the school, and the finest person Hwajin has ever saw

-From your beautiful prominent and soft facial features, all the way down to your deep curves and thick body, the way your short black pencil skirt hugged your full hips and the way your white blouse held your breast was so eye catching , he knew it wasn’t appropriate to look at you in this way, but god you were breathtaking

- “Hey I’m Hwajin from the TRPA, you must be a teacher hm?” Boyyyy he was nervous asl even looking you in the eye “yes I am, my name is y/n, nice to meet you sir.” you took his hand to shake it and dragged your thumb in soothing circles on the back of his hand, you maintained eye contact while doin so, after that he knew he needed to have you immediately

- you weren’t the easiest to get thru, but mans was dedicated so he tried for 2 solid weeks, then you finally let him take you out on a date

-He took you on a nice ass picnic, in the beautiful part of the forest

-The trees were big and full of leaves, the grass was well nourished, the lake was a beautiful blue shade, it was absolutely beautiful

-“Hwajin…you didn’t have to do all of this for me, this is absolutely breathtaking.” You were shocked about the effort he put into this, “I wanna show you how much I really want you and appreciate you, now if you stop doubting your worth, may we eat ma’am?”

- And from that 1st date y’all started dating, and it has been such a fever dream

- He cooks for you for early mornings and nights, but one time he was in a rush so you decided to cook for him, that’s when he found his love for soul food, from the baked Mac n cheese to the lamb chops, he loves it all, sometimes he “accidentally” forget to cook just so that you can cook

- You already look sexy in your work attire but OUT of your work attire? Oh lord get this man before he tackles you n do sumn unholy things cuz you be lookin fine AS FUCK

-a tight nude color sundress, hugging your every curve and dip, makes him feral, when y’all are walking and out somewhere, he holds you close as if someone is going to take you

-Also he has no shame. Like at all. If he sees someone staring, he will literally put a vice grip on your ass and stare at the person while smiling cuz he knows how lucky he is

-One time , Hanrim was flirting hard with you and was gettin a lil touchy and when Hwajin said sumn to her about gettin real friendly with you, she called it z”girl to girl talk”, so he grabbed you by the ass, lofted you up, and started kissing you everywhere, Hanrim stared for a bit and started to walk away “what’s wrong? I thought you’d appreciate the show I’m givin to you.” He’s such an asshole, but you love him so much for it

HEYYY LONG TIME NO SEE

My princesses🧚🏾‍♀️: @whatdidshesayyy @emonaculate @rinhoes @tenyaiidasslut @thicksimpx @yutaswifey @izu-kuz @pervysenpaix @plussizeficchick @angelanika @angwritez @aizawasbrazybaby @sexy-lil-nugget @sintiva @dejwrites @luna-indigoduh @xogabbiexo @blkchxrryblyss @bookwormsenpai @bumbleblackbee @boredandelusive @pinkluvrr @nasty-quillz @namjoonswifeyy @misss-chrisss @maydayaisha

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When their kids swear at them (REQUESTED)

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

Requested by: @Astro_KeySimp

WARNING: Swearing (sorta)

Ok so I kinda made the reader into the child since don't remember if you wanted the reader to be a child or not, so if it wasn't to your liking, then I'm sorry, but I can make a separate version on where the reader isn't the child

It kinda became more of the SCPs and doctors being dads than their reaction to their kids swearing

SCP 073 (Cain)

Cain was walking around with you since you were bored and there wasn't anything to do

Being unaware of what some of the staff were saying, ye went over to grab you some food for later in case you got hungry

Once you both went back, he watched you play with some Legos and was talking as if it was your Lego friends talking to you

Cain looked away for just 10 seconds and heard you shout out "Wow! He said that her baby's such a bi-" which shocked him as he heard it

Cain looked around and made sure that nobody was around the room and was somewhat surprised that you was the one saying this

Being a good dad he is, Cain explained to you carefuly that you shouldn't say that word because it's bad

And being a sweet shy child, you obliged and stopped saying the word

Til this day, Cain had no idea about where and who you've heard the word from and is very much more self-aware

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Abel is that type of dad who would teach you all the bad words and encourages you to say them

It's the researchers who had to teach you top not to say those words

One time, Dr Glass came in to examine you and had rewarded you as usual since you were so cooperative

You drew a picture of you and Abel talking in a garden with bright coloured flowers

Simon asked if he could see your drawing and saw that the conversation you and your dad had was those of swearing

This surprised Simon since you knew so many at such a young age but wasn't totally shocked since he knew that you were Abel's child

And knowing him, he wouldn't teach you to be nice, so Simon took the job as a mother hen and taught you to not use those words around people

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

Ok, so I'll keep this SCP short since I, again, don't know what I should write for this adorable, squicky, neon-orange, bubby blob

Another SCP who doesn't cuss

This adorable squishy boi here was about to have a heart attack when he heard you swear fir the first time

He had to ask you worryingly where you heard that phrase and you just said some guy wearing a white jacket

999 sighed knowing that you'll grow and couldn't do anything to stop it

He did, however, mention that you should try and avoid saying those things to anyone and that they'd most likely have a heart attack since you were his child and you won the genetic lottery for being the cutest and outgoing child in the world

The only other person who knew of this was Dr Glass (sucks to be him ngl, he do be a mother to everyone) and he had to help poor 999 with teaching you better words

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

YAY! Another SCP who would teach their kid to swear

682 has such a dirty mouth like 076 and would 100% teach you all the words he knows

Similarly to what happened with Abel, you were taken for an interview with Dr Sophia Light since she was assigned to you

She's such a sweet and kind doctor to be around and would teach you anything and everything you would probably need to know all the while keeping an eye on you in case you become overly aggressive like 682

You were just eating some sweets Lights had given you for good behaviour and overheard some researchers swear

Remembering what your dad had taught you, you just repeated those curse words while clapping at your achievement

This had shocked Sophia and that researcher since you were known to be a moderately shy and quiet child who normally wouldn't say those things despite being 682's child

Sophia had to ask if you understood the meaning of those words and shook your head as an indicator for no

She had to carefully find her words and told you to never speak of those words again and took you back to 682's cell

You went and hugged your dad and told him that you learnt from the doctor that those curse words were bad and neither of you should say them

682 had a headache after that

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

I have a hard time thinking that 049 would teach his child to cuss and would avoid swearing in front of them at all cost

Like, he barely swears anyways but he wants to stay classy and sassy for his innocent child

Just like the other day, his kiddo, you, was curious about the whole surgery thingy he does on the dead bodies, so you asked him to teach you and so he did (like the good father we nevah had)

So you learnt some new, yet difficult, words (cuz we all have a nonexistent pea-sized brain) and somehow, you managed to fit in a curse word

This did surprise 049 as he had remembered that he didn't teach you those foul words

He had to give you a talk about using such words and you teared up since you thought that people used them to express their affection to others

Unsurprisingly, 049 took his sweet time looking for the guy who 'taught' you this and wanted to use him as a case study for your future lessons

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Another parent with such an amazing influence on children

035 would teach and enable you to use swearing as a form of expression

So you were free to say whatever you want as long as they aren't directed to our mask here, especially if it's in a negative way

Otherwise, you'd be punished (No not like that! He'll just ground you from your favourite TV show/movie)

The researchers were surprised, not about you swearing, but how you use them through expression

Except for this poor guy who was new to the foundation and bumped into you by accident

This rookie found himself listening to you cursing like a sailor (maybe not that much but more or less on the same level as Samuel L Jackson)

Word got out and everybody laughed at the poor rookie and told him more about your background and how you love to swear (apparently swearing will prolong your life, so you'll basically be immortal here)

035 was impressed by the whole ordeal and rewarded you with more shows to watch whenever you're both free

SCP 105 (Iris)

Iris would accidentally swear in front of you and whenever she realises it, she would tell you to not swear at people since it wasn't very nice

So she would use words to replace the swearing like "oh fudging hell not now" and "no sugar honey ice tea"

The foundation felt that it was slightly unnecessary but went with it anyways

They'd even go as far as saying that it's ridiculous, but who are they to judge?

Iris was your mother and she's a single mum too, so she felt the need to be overly beating but would occasionally let you decide on your own since you were only 12

The foundation members did tell her that you will eventually grow and more of these words will be used but she just hesitates

As a teen, you did begin to use foul words more often and Iris would argue about how you're using them, especially towards her, your own mother

Needless to say, you both felt bad and made up

SCP 106 (Old Man)

Now this old man right here doesn't exactly speak, or at least very rarely

And if he does, he'll most likely be talking to you or the foundation staff if he needed some help finding you

He'll most likely be able to understand what the researchers are saying, even if they aren't speaking English

My own personal hc is that 106 understands English, German, Spanish, French, Chinese, Arabic and Indonesian and probably many others

Every now and again, somebody would come in and teach you new words and give other lessons like maths and poetry (our favourite)

You came back home to tell him all the things you've learnt as he watched you in awe as he braided your hair

You've even used some new phrases, including swear words while talking and 106 was pretty impressed

I feel that he's quite neutral with swear words since words are words and are used as a form of verbal communication

So I don't think they'll be much change in his behaviour to whether you're swearing or not

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

Now with 096, all he does is scream

So basically, somebody else would have to teach you some words

It's not to say that 096 is a dumb animalistic creature with no soul and just kills people who look at his face

He isn't stupid since he manages to find anyone who looked at his face from the other side of the globe

And he seems to understand what the researchers are saying, or at least on a more intermediate to moderate level

You'll learn about swear words from the other researchers, whether they'll be teaching it to you intentionally or you've overheard them

The foundation could really care less, but would at least prefer that you chill a bit if you got carried away

096 would act all cheery when you learn more new things as it's not like the foundation would let him out anyway, so he'll be living the outside world life from you (How relatable, but more with babysitting and dating, cuz I'm too pretty for anyone to date XD)

Like with 106, I don't think 096 would have any special reaction towards swearing, but would probably be screaming internally for a bit since he knows that it isn't a nice word

Dr Jack bright

This mf right here is one of those parents who would be kind but firm

Bright would most definitely give in to your curiosity and teach you whatever you want to learn but would warn you of the dangers

Depending on what it is, he would even go as far as giving you your own personal guard who would stay with you and train you

And unfortunately, this guard has such a foul mouth, so you're constantly exposed to such words

Luckily for the both of you, Jack Bright doesn't really care about swearing as long as you're not being extremely inappropriate if you were to work

He would even joke around with you sometimes and would even start the conversation with swearing

For instance, he'd just surprise you with a "Yeet his mf outta my sheithole"

And yes, you did laugh at his antics

Some would even say that you're an exact clone of him but more stable (for now)

Well, Bright is an amazing dad, but I'd say just below Dr Glass

Or maybe even on par with him

Like Bright is a goofy dad that has all the terrible dad jokes and Glass would be the type of dad to look out for his kid

Dr Simon Glass

Dr Glass would most definitely avoid using swear words, especially if you were under 15

Even if you were over 15, he'd still avoid swearing unless he wants to make a joke or 2

So most of the time, you'd learn all the swearing from other people and SCPs

Sometimes you would swear by accident and Glass would just look at you, slightly disappointed

I'd say he doesn't exactly care about you swearing per see, but would rather you avoid it

It's cuz Simon is the best dad a dad could ever dad and nobody could prove me wrong here

He's also one of the top best dads compared to the others on the list

He's basically your best friend so he'd let you vent and its the 1 time he'd let you swear to show your emotions

Simon would 100% know your thoughts and behaviour

He's just that good at reading people, especially you - almost to the point where people would say he's an SCP cuz I swear he's just empathic and telepathic

As mentioned before, Glass would be the type of dad to care for your mental health

It's not that the others don't, it's just that Glass is a top their God of Psychology and would come to you before you even know you have depression

He would even crack a joke sometimes

So every so often, he would shout out "LANGUAGE!!!" from across the room before you could even bat an eye and say anything

Dr Alto Clef

Another top tier dad, but swearing addition

Your godfather would literally be Jack Bright

Then it's Kondraki and Glass

He would let you swear on a daily basis and would join you

Sometimes you be looking at your Oppas/Noonas and be like: "Oh fxxk me!" and Clef, who's in the next room, be like: "Yeah, fxxk me too!" (Yes but no sis! No incest pls!)

Other times, you would be in the same room as Clef and Bright and you'd join them in being chaotic

And poor Kondraki  is just there at the back trying to do his work peacefully

One time, Kondraki had to grab a Simon Glass to help stop the chaotic trio

And OML did it end so well

You were easy to manage tbh, with the exception of you swearing

Clef and Bright would most definitely encourage you to swear more

Especially Clef since he does have a twisted sense of humour

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki is totally the type of person who would tell their kid to mind their own language

But he secretly doesn't care and his child knows it

His style of parenting is similar to Simon's

And yes, Simon is your #1 godfather/uncle

You'd go to him for emotional support since Kondraki sucks at that

Sometimes you'd swear at him and he'd get mad though

So yeah, running to Glass is a wonderful idea

And we all know that Kondraki doesn't mean what he said

He's just extremely introverted, but he's rather sensible - Usually...

Anyways, he would ask Simon on tips and advice on how to get you to stop swearing so much and he just gave Benjamin a parenting book (Like fr guys, let Glass have some rest, he's tired of babysitting over 100 dozens of pets in the zoo and all the other babies who work in it)

[colorseeingchick]

Period Pains (Atsumu, Akaashi, Sugawara)

Periods. Suck. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. But maybe they can make it suck less.

A/N: Y’all can probably guess how my week has been :D. So this is mostly self indulgent and has definitely made me fall in love with all these boys much more. I may or may not stan Miya Atsumu now but we don’t talk about it (yet)

Warnings: None really! Fluffy and domestic wholesomeness. Post-timeskip.

Miya Atsumu 

Atsumu starts to stir from his sleep when he hears a loud prolonged groan next to him. 

He presses his eyes closed when the lights suddenly turn on. Ugh.

He opens his eyes to see you waddling away to the bathroom with your hand pressed to your stomach. Hmm?

He looks down and sees a relatively large splotch of red staining the sheet. HAH!

Suddenly, Atsumu is very alert.

“Babe what happened! Did you get hurt?”

Mans throws (I mean THROWS) himself out of bed and pulls a pair of shorts on as he stumbles to the bathroom to check on you.

“Baby are you-” 

He sees you by the sink, washing your shorts, the water discolored as it runs off. 

Ohhhh yeah! You were on your period. 

Headass’s mind blanked while in a sleepy haze.

You sigh. “Yeah I’m… fine-ish. I guess.”

He smirks and comes up behind you, wrapping his hands around your waist, one hand gently rubbing over your long sleep shirt, right over your lower belly. 

He presses a slow kiss into the side of your head and rocks you side to side while you continue to wash. 

“Did ya wake up cuz of the pain, babe?” 

“Mhm. And I saw the stain then too. Ain’t my luck just great?”

He groggily laughs and presses more kisses along the side of your face and holds you tighter. 

“You got this, babe. I’ll bring the sheets here, yeah?” 

“Kay.”

This, in its own way, is enough to make you feel… less bad. 

You were far from feeling okay at this point, but Atsumu knowing the drill and nonchalantly helping out at 2 am made things feel less apocalyptic than they were in your head.. 

Atsumu strips the bed of all its sheets, rubbing his eyes as he tries to keep awake. 

Handing the sheet to you, he leans against the wall as you washed out the immediate blood stains. 

Once you wash it out, he takes it from you.

“Clean yerself up babe.” 

He takes the sheets downstairs and throws them into the washing machine. 

He goes to the kitchen and grabs a banana and some dark chocolate (because we healthy in this household).

And some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet.

And runs back up to find you coming with new sheets in hand. 

Putting your snacks down on your bedside table, he helps you pull the fresh sheets over your bed. 

Sitting you on the bed, he hands you the food and sits next to you, leaning his head on your shoulder while you munch. 

He gives you the medicine when you’re done. 

“30 minutes- not bad. I think that’s our new record.”

He shuts off the lights and crawls into bed, opening his arms as you slide your legs under the comforter. 

Snuggling into him, he nuzzles your forehead as he holds you close. 

“Feelin better, babe?”

“Yeah… I’ll probably fall asleep in a bit or something.”

“Well, if ya wanna press up against me if that’ll make you feel better, ya can. And wake me up if ya need anything.”

“I will, Atsumu. Thanks.”

“G’nite, sweetheart.” 

BONUS: you wake up late the next morning, Atsumu still holding you flush against his body. 

Now that you slept well (thanks to the meds and Atsumu) and woke up without pain, you’re suddenly in a very affectionate mood. 

Wiggling up, you find your way to Atsumu’s face, giving him a couple of soft pecks to his lips. 

He stirs in his sleep, kissing you back. 

But even after you had pulled away, he kept kissing at the air, trying to find your lips in his sleepy haze.

It was pretty funny. 

He’s a headass, you’re not gonna lie. 

But he’s your headass! And that’s all that matters. 

Akaashi Keiji 

Before even coming home, Akaashi knew you were going to be on your period today. 

Your period tracking app was synced to his phone, so he knew when to prepare for your worst days with snacks, supplies, and lots of affection.

He hated how busy he was, that he couldn’t be home to take care of you. So making sure you had everything you needed was the best he could do. 

But when Akaashi comes home and can’t find you anywhere, he starts to worry. 

Where were you? You would usually always greet him when he came home, even when you were on your period.

He gets his answer when he hears sniffles and hiccups coming underneath the lump of blankets on the couch. 

Akaashi knows that if you were ever fully underneath the blankets, there was something really wrong. 

Taking his jacket off and throwing it over a chair in the kitchen, he rushes to your side and pulls the blankets delicately off your head. 

“What’s wrong, darling.”

“H-hi Keiji. I’m s-sorry I didn’t m-mean to *hic* hide from you I j-just don’t feel too g-good.” 

Your breath was so shaky and Akaashi’s heart shattered watching you. 

“Please, tell me what’s wrong, dear.” Akaashi asks you in a whisper. 

“My tummy just hurts so so much and it won’t go away I-” your sobs begin to rack through your whole body. 

“Did you take medicine? Heating pad?” He asks gently as he runs his hands through your hair and wipes the tears off your face. 

“N-no… I hate taking medicine Keiji you know that. But I took a hot shower and I hoped it would help and it didn’t.” You attempt to stifle your cries to talk coherently, misery wrapping around your soul. 

“Alright then, give me a second, darling, and I’ll do whatever I can.” 

After changing, Akaashi comes back downstairs to the couch and makes his way over to you. 

He pats your head gently, “can you sit up for me?”

He swings his legs up onto the couch and opens his arms and legs so you could place yourself between all his limbs. 

Crawling up to him, he turns you so that your back is pressed to his torso. 

Immediately, Akaashi’s hands snake around your waist and find their way to two sides of your lower stomach.

His fingers gently message you, moving around to try and find which spots need his attention, all while he coaxes you into being relaxed.

���Shhh darling, you’re okay. I’m here and I’m going to shower you with my love. Just relax and let me take care of you, okay dearest?”

You nuzzle back against his chest, letting his words, touch, warmth, and smell fill all your senses. 

“Keiji… how was your day?” You murmur, tilting your head back in an effort to look at him. 

He smiles, warmth spreading through his body as he realizes even while in pain, you still want to carry on your daily check-in on him post work. 

And so Akaashi tells you all the stories from the day- his new assignment, how panicked he got midday when the office went into crisis, a surprise visit from a certain owl during lunch time.

You listen attentively, but your hands subconsciously move his larger hands to the center of your lower abdomen, where he starts to gently rub, leaving your skin tingly and chest lighter. 

“Do you feel better, Y/N?” after sitting in comfortable silence for a little, he decides to ask. 

But when he got no response, he cranes his neck to check on you. 

You had fallen asleep in his embrace, a sweet smile slowly creeping across your face. 

He smiles too, overjoyed to know that he was able to relieve you of some of your pain. 

“Goodnight, my love.” He whispers to you, his eyes slowly shutting, arms still on your stomach. 

BONUS: at around 2 am, Akaashi wakes up, realizing he was still on the couch. 

You, however, were nowhere to be seen. 

Getting up, Akaashi heads to the kitchen to grab water, assuming you were already in bed. 

Instead, he found you in the kitchen too, the smell of pancakes flooding the space. 

“Keiji! We never ate dinner. I’m sorry I made you fall asleep without eating.”

A small smile appears on his face and he rubs his sleepy eyes. 

“It’s okay, dear. I’m just glad you could sleep some.”

“Do you want pancakes?”

“I would love some.”

Sugawara Koushi

Like Akaashi, Suga knew what was about to happen when he got a phone call from you as soon as he was leaving school.

Regardless, hearing you sniffle over the phone activates every protective instinct in his body.

“What’s wrong baby?”

“Koushi, do you love me?” 

A dumb question, obviously. Suga showered you with affection and endless praise on a daily basis for you simply just breathing. The most supportive of boyfriends!

But alas, insecurity still creeps up at times. And Suga gets it. 

“I love you more than anything else, Y/N.”

“Can you come home, Koushi? I miss you.”

“I’m on my way, love. Give me 10 extra minutes, okay?”

Suga hopped into his car to head home, stopping by the store to pick up a few things. 

He grabbed a pint of your favorite ice cream, your favorite chips (because do you want sweet or savory today? Only time will tell), and some flowers before heading home. 

The moment he steps through the door, you throw your hands around him and groan out of frustration, pain, and just general dejectedness (don’t @ me for projecting I swear). 

Suga smiles down at you, knowing that he can bring you some peace, and pulls you against him, flowers and bag still in hand. 

“Let me go change, my love. These are for you.” 

Your generally miserable disposition shifts as your nose is filled with the aroma of fresh flowers. Sweet and gentle scents always managed to lift your spirits, and Suga knew that. 

“Mkay.”

Once Suga came downstairs, he headed to the kitchen to warm up some water to pour into a water bottle. 

“Sweet or salty?”

“Salty.”

He grabs the warm water bottle and the bag of chips and makes his way over the couch where your eyes were begging him to shower you in love (which he was more than happy to do). 

Sitting down and opening his arms, you pull yourself against his side, hugging him tightly and nuzzling against his chest.

He rubs your head before sliding his hand down, soothingly rubbing circles onto your back. 

His other hand goes to place the warm water bottle on your lower abdomen, which you hold in place by pulling your legs up to your torso. 

“Koushi, why do you love me?” You murmur against him. “I’m so whiny and clingy and annoying and insecure and you’re perfect… you deserve the best. You shouldn’t have to put up with someone like me-”

“Hey.” Suga gently but sternly cuts you off. 

“That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about, and I don’t appreciate you talking about her like that.” He looks down at you and melts as he sees your puppy dog eyes staring back up at him.

“Koushi, I’m not wrong though. I am all those things.”

“And? I love you for it. I love that you whine for me and cling to me- it makes me feel wanted. I wouldn’t call you annoying, that's not your call to make. And insecure? That’s natural, my love. Everyone's a little insecure. I’m a little insecure. You’re not perfect and neither am I. And that’s okay. I don’t wanna love perfect. I want to love you and only you, okay?” 

Tears prick your eyes but you feel better with Suga’s words of reaffirmation. He’ll tell you no matter how many times you need to hear it. “Thank you Koushi, I love you so much.”

“Shh, my love. Don’t cry. I love you, too.” 

His grasp on you tightens as you relax against him, your breathing synchronizing. 

“You wanna watch some TV?”

“Yes please.”

“Chips?” 

“Mhm.” 

Single word exchanges and the warmth of Suga’s sweater keep you connected as you allow yourself to forget your physical and mental pains.

Suga always knew exactly what you needed to hear, and never hesitated to tell you. No matter how ‘out of the blue’ or random it may have felt, he was always there for when you needed him. 

BONUS: you guys settle on watching a romance movie, Suga feeding you chips while popping some into his own mouth as well. 

But once the movie got to the really sad part, you started crying (sometimes movies just made you cry, but hormones made it so much worse).

“Baby, don’t cry, it’s just a movie.” 

“But Koushi, you’re crying too!” 

In honesty, Suga’s face was very tear-streaked as well, his sniffles hushed. 

“Okay fine, we can both cry together.”

And so you did! Both of you cried, emotions fully invested in the movie, chips still being munched on while sobs shook your bodies. 

It would have been a goofy sight to any onlookers, but it was the pinnacle of your relationship- emotionally vulnerable, intimate, and domestic. True perfection, if you were to ask me.

[kaijurakunsobs]

The Beauty in Empathy

master list

ya boi took all the time in the world writing this but here we go baby! also...yall get soft!Heisenberg content

⚠ Trigger: Panic Attack, PTSD

Summary: the travel to the village has left you shaken up and unsure of what to do with your life. You lack direction, an objective, something to anchor you give the sense of control, it doesn't matter what, you just need something to control.

It, almost, feels nice to come back to the factory, not carrying for the ache in your limbs or the blisters on your feet, you need to feel safe in any way shape or form, and the closest thing to a safe heaven...is the factory. Where no one can touch you, where Heisenberg's sole presence is enough to ward off unwanted visits, where you could run through the maze of corridors and find refuge in some empty room.

There was so much going on, the euphoria you got that morning over the small win against Heisenberg was gone now, replaced by uneasiness, fear of what you don't understand, of what you had gotten yourself into. But you don't let panic subdue you again, taking deep breaths, you run to the living quarters, crates creaking with the movement, fresh vegetables, and cans making so much noise, you were sure the Lord would come and yell at you, he never comes, not even when you almost throw down the door and begin to scream, he's not there.

It takes you a bit to calm down and regulate your breathing, you feel disoriented, suddenly everything is too much and you begin to get rid of the rope wound around your shoulders and hands, wincing when the crates and sacks do so much noise.

And there you stay with your head pressed against the door and eyes shut, remembering how your mother used to cook and clean when stressed, she said cleaning your living space clears the mind and keeps us sane, cooking fills the soul and your stomach with the warmth of your home.

That makes you get up slowly, moving to the kitchen to clean it and the fridge thoroughly, ignoring your aching and shaking limbs in favor of putting everything away and leaving out some ingredients to make a simple vegetable soup. Taking a cutting board and knife you start chopping and cutting vegetables, casting a glance at the clock in the wall and wondering, when will Heisenberg come back and if you should leave him something to eat.

You are done cooking, letting the soup boil, and slowly make the room smell deliciously, remembering how your mom used to cook this soup when you were distraught or sick, you are distraught indeed, but getting lost in memories of people that don't exist anymore feels...useless, painful, stupid.

All of your attention is brought back to the mess on the table and coffee table, all those blueprints and papers just laying around, feels wrong. Picking up every single one you do quick work of rolling it and placing it upright in one of the crates the Duke used to pack your groceries, carefully stashing papers and placing them with the prints, dropping the crate over the kitchen table, grabbing the broom and sweeping the small living room.

With a prideful smile, you stare at the much cleaner area, serving yourself a generous portion of soup and taking a seat at the table, it tastes just as good as your last meal last night, you feel pleasure by eating something this warm, feeling the heat go down your throat and radiate through your entire chest and bleeding down your body, it's nice a feeling. But the heat doesn't linger long and the cold of the world beyond the factory hunts you.

You lost it all so fast, everything stole away by Miranda and the creatures that attacked you, yes, you have a "home" here and a room, and Heisenberg's presence seems to guard off against anyone coming close to this place, but you have no control over anything anymore, and that's what scares you, the lack of control over something.

Routine...that's a way to control your life, something so easy yet so valuable right now, that you don't fight off the prospect of binding yourself to something as monotonous as routine. You were adventurous and brave, now you are scared and ready to find some resemblance of normality, it might be hard, seeing how Heisenberg seems to be more on the chaotic side, but, starting tomorrow you will need to work on that, you need to reclaim a bit of your life.

For now, the best you can do is rest, tame your emotions, abide by the contract you made this morning, maybe...if you play your cards well, you get more perks or small liberties.

Heisenberg drags you out the next day to finally help him with the ventilation, barely giving you time to eat anything and forcing you to chug your coffee, running after him to not be left behind.

The Lord can see you, scribbling something on one of his old note pads, stopping outside of certain rooms to scan the place and write down more notes, mumbling to yourself about what you will need to fix the room. So you are a planner, he likes that, you could also be faking it in favor of getting on his good side, let's see how well you do.

"Let me get this clear" you sigh putting on a pair of his gloves, looking at the rather shabby board connecting the railway and the hole in the wall where the ventilation duct is visible "I have to go across this, get inside and then find the problem?"

"Yeah, basically" he's looking at you, judging your reaction, half expecting you to back off and run away "Is there a problem, sweetheart?" he leans close to you, blowing smoke in your face

With a huff, you take the cigar from his hand and take a drag and puffing the smoke back on his face, jumping over the railing and swiftly balancing over the board towards the hole "You better find a way to pass me whatever I need, cuz im not doing the trave back and forth every fucking time!"

Karl grins at your boldness, smoking his Cuban cigar like it's nothing, raising a brow when you finish it "Will find a way, don't worry about it"

"You better do, Karl!" turning around you grimace looking at the duct, there's water and cobwebs "This is asinine..."

"You will do amazing, darling!" he screams with a lot of amusement when he sees you climb into the duct, enjoying the view of your ass "way better than I could do"

"Oh, bite me!" you yell back with a bit of humor, quickly crawling to the spot marked on the map he gave you the day prior, only stopping to wipe off the sweat from your forehead and assess the damage "Hey, Heisenberg! We have rats here...seems they been doing a number on the ventilators' wiring!"

"Fucking hell! again?!" there's a moment of silence and you use it to look around, definitely, there are rats here, he should think about acquiring some cats, "Think you can fix it?!" you hear him clearly as you make your way back

"If you have some electrical tape and new wires? I could do it today but the rats will come back and eat the new wiring!" he sees you come back, looking at him expectantly

He waves dismissively, turning around to dig through the toolbox, he swears he saw some spare wires here..."Oh don't worry about that, darling, you fix the wiring and I'll just let the lycans have a feast on the vermin" he says as if you knew what he's talking about.

"The WHAT now?" Heisenberg chuckles at your expression, smiling a bit when he tosses the tape and wire in your direction barely catching them.

"More fixing and less asking, you can meet the pack later after we are done with everything you need to work on!"

You hate the way he's smiling, it makes you shudder and feel weary for whatever he's planning.

And you are right in feeling apprehension, Heisenberg keeps dragging you around, helping you up when the repair it's too high, happily taunting you when he sees you stand on a piece of metal, watching your legs wobble and the slight terror when he screams for you to balance yourself because he's not going to save you if you fall, cackling when you tell him to shove it and balancing on the metal sheet.

At the end of the day, he's surprised at how unbothered you seem at being covered in grease and sweat, nonchalantly cleaning your face with your sleeve "And here I thought you were lying about being a mechanic, color me impressed"

"I told you, I'm a woman of my word, I would never lie to you Heisenberg~" something stirs inside him in the way you smile, cocking your hip to the side, he hates your guts but he gotta admit, you are a sight for sore eyes "This has been a beautiful day and everything, but! I'm in need of a shower and I wanna eat something"

"Not yet princess" you yelp when Karl grabs your shoulders and quickly pushes and guides you "You were curious about the lycans, yes? I think is only fair for you to meet them, seeing how you will be staying here for a long time, it's better if they understand that you aren't food"

"WHAT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?" you try so hard to hold onto the door frames, make him stop by refusing to walk, try to walk backwards, only making him grow annoyed and throw you over his shoulder "HEISENBERG I'LL DECK YOU AGAIN, PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!"

"I would LOVE to see you try that stunt again, girly. It's quite clear your daddy never showed you to be more respectful, I might need to teach you so manners" he has the good forsaken audacity of slapping your ass with his free hand

Heisenberg grunts and chuckles when you trash in his hold, trying so hard to run away from him "HOW DARE YOU?! IM BEATING YOUR DUMB FACE WHEN YOU PUT ME DOWN!" you make him laugh when a yelp scapes you the moment the cold air of the outside hits your skin and at least has the decency of softly putting you down, raising his hands as if ready for you to pounce "DON'T you dare to do that again, got it!?"

"We'll see if you mishave and threaten to punch me again, there must be some punishment, don't you think?" he's all smugness when he speaks, puffing up with pride when you blush and begin to frown, getting ready to tell him off only to get cut off when he whistles.

The sound is loud and fills the still air with a disturbance that feels disrespectful, making you wince when he keeps whistling rhythmically, that reminds you of how your grandfather used to have whistle based commands for the digs in his farm, which means...that the lycans are dogs, probably, and Heisenberg just lets them roam around, there's a small chance that the dogs are trained to chase or hunt vermin.

You both stay outside, waiting, getting a bit excited at the idea of seeing a dog after so long. Karl lifts a brow at the eager look on your face, wondering if you even know what's going to happen or if you are that stupid. He's ready to see your reaction, heard you scream in terror, or try to run back to the factory, although, he hopes you don't do that otherwise the lycans might give change and end up killing you.

The cocky smile on his face grows when he sees you pale in horror when the lycans come running, snarling and snapping their fangs at each other. Heisenberg was ready to hear you scream and see you escape, but he is not prepared for what you do next.

All that eagerness, the small hope you felt, all die when you see those beasts, all running to you like it happened that day, the phantom pain in your side makes you choke and freeze, these aren't the same beasts that...killed you...but the memory is still fresh, a part of you tells you to run, to hide, you scream or fight! but the rest of your body refuses to move. The closer they get, the louder the voice in your head becomes, so...you run and hide.

Last time you tried to run to your home and that got you almost mangled, this time? you let instinct guide you, pulling Heisenberg's coat up and hiding behind him, like a child would do, both arms winding around him with crushing strength.

In another situation, he would have made fun of you, laughing and asking where all that bravado of yours had gone to! But he can feel your chest rising and falling so fast, your entire body is shaking so hard it's making his necklaces clink and your teeth clack, you are muttering something but he can't tell what, more importantly...you are crying. He knows the signs of shell shock, oh he knows them too well, whatever happened to you, the lycans triggered a flight or fight response in you, a very strong one.

You can't hear anything over the ringing in your ears, so it's impossible to hear when Heisenberg whistles and makes the lycans scatter again. You do feel his hands peeling yours off him, the weight of his coat covering you and how, strangely, careful he is when picking you up, barely able to register his voice telling you to put your arms around his neck, the firm hold of his hands on your legs and what you guess, was a huff when you locked your legs behind him.

He's beyond surprised when you willingly allow him to pick you up like this, a million questions running through his head over your reaction. Guilt taking a hold of his heart knowing he made you THIS scared, to the point of sobbing on his shoulder and refusing to let him go even after making it into the living quarters but he manages to convince you to let him go, sitting you where you can see him cook and barely hear him talk...something about helping him with a reactor? you are not sure.

Karl watches you eat slowly, looking for any sight you might throw up or if the shaking in your hands gets so bad you might be unable to eat. He goes as far as to escort you to the bathroom, leaving you a new shirt and alone. There are no words to be exchanged but you know, he will come back to check on your jittery self and take you back to your room.

Once alone, you let shame eat you alive, wondering if he thinks less of you, if he will make fun of what just happened, or if tomorrow he will relegate you to some stupid minimal task thinking you are some weak damsel in distress. Dread crush you, not excited for the next day.

Waking up is torture and dressing up is suddenly the toughest task you have been saddled with, the smell of coffee fills the kitchen and, to your disgust, you see Heisenberg dump what might have been three spoonfuls of sugar on his cup. The man perks up when you get close to the table,

"Alright darling, let me start by saying..." here he goes, he's going to laugh and humiliate you "I'm NOT your fucking delivery man" Heisenberg throws a utility belt at you, the weight of the tools on it make you tip back and almost lose your footing "I went to the Duke to see if he got me some new stuff and he said your tools and boots arrived early, I only brought all this back so you won't lose time passing you anything"

"Eat something, we have time" He knows he shouldn't bring back up what happened yesterday, giving you time to process it all and think about what his next steps should be regarding the lycans and your fear of them.

The day is just like yesterday, but you pick on the subtle differences, Heisenberg seems more aware of any sounds that might startle you, steering you away from areas where he knows the lycans are chasing after rats and having a feast on some other things. You don't comment on it, smiling inwardly at his attempts to prevent you from going into another panic attack.

You are sitting in front of a broken generator, judging the damage and sighing when you come to the sad conclusion that you might need to rebuild the entire engine, Karl is close by, two rooms down from where you are. Getting up and stretching is a small pleasure, hearing your back crack loudly, groaning over the stiffness on your neck.

"I got you bad news, backup generator number eight? dead as fuck! I might need to rebuild it which means I'll be doing a list of what I need" you say while entering the room, his back is facing you and he seems to be deep in thought hunched over something.

Getting close you can see him pulling pieces towards him the metal listening to his command and coming his way, a screwdriver in one hand and a magnifying glass in the other, he seems to be struggling to assemble something.

Smiling a bit, you are careful when putting your head on his shoulder, effectively making him jump "Whatchu doing~?" Heisenberg curses under his breath, looking at you to the best of his abilities

"Reactor, damn thing keeps exploding whenever I do test runs" he feels you hum and see your hand get close to the project without touching

"Maybe it's the material or the lack of a cooling system, but that's my opinion" you straighten back "And like I said, the generator is dead, gone, either replace the whole unit or we rebuilt it"

You hear him grunt and pat his pockets looking for something, soon the smell of tobacco fills the air and he too gets up, looking at you, clearly thinking something or how to say it "Princess, about yesterday..." you go stiff, immediately looking away "I don't know what happened before you were brought here, but I do know that it's important for your safety that the lycans learn that you are a part of my..." at this he hesitates, chewing his cigar "family, so if you ever need it, they will come and help you"

He waits for you to say something or to see if you panic again when he sees no sight of terror he continues "There's a small group of lycans that are a bit more tamer, and I was thinking about introducing them to you, one by one"

"You want me to just do what, play fetch with them, scratch their bellies!?" there it is, your panic begins to raise and before it explodes, he grabs your shoulders making you look at him.

"You won't be alone, I'll be there and if the lycans try to EVEN bite you, I'll kill them on the spot! I will even teach you how to control them, that pack will be your...personal guard, but I'll be there"

You relish in the feeling of his gloves hands over you, thinking slowly about this. You need routine and maybe training the beasts to obey you might be good...having control over another being could be good and Heisenberg said he will be there the whole time, something about his voice makes you trust him. "If you leave me alone even ONCE, I'm destroying your knees with a wrench"

And there's that wolfish smile and hearty laughter, with renewed joy he pulls your hand telling you about how you will have the right to do that if he abandons you ever after this, he's staying with you throughout the whole process. Heisenberg catches you off guard when he takes off his coat and drapes it around your shoulders, pulling you outside, standing next to you.

"Let's start with whistling, ok?"

You must admit, you have a lot of fun learning how to do the right whistle command to call this particular pack, laughing a bit when Karl squishes your face whenever you fail to produce the right sound, once you get the sound right, he teaches small commands, how to make one sole lycan come to you, have them stop dead in their tracks, among others and how to make each whistle sound loud.

He does chuckle when you jump the moment the pack comes bolting from the woods towards you, the grip on your shoulders return and that anchors you, giving the stop command and smiling once the small group stops, Heisenberg all but smiles proudly when you take control and pick one lycan to get close and dismiss the others.

"Once it's close enough" Karl whispers low enough for you to hear "take off your gloves and let it smell the back and palm of your hands" he sees you nod and waits for the lycan to get near you, his hands sliding up and down your arms, he can feel you tremble a bit when you take off his gloves and let the beast smell you.

The lycan looks up to you, then at Heisenberg, opting for keeping its attention on you, you called it after all "It won't bite you, it can smell that you belong here, it knows better" Even with his reassurance you are weary of the beast, everything inside asking you to run away, yet you stay put, dogs can smell feat and react to it and that never ends well.

"What else can they do?" Karl can hear the terror in your voice but feels proud of your bravery, quickly teaching you what other tricks the thing can do.

By the end of the day, you are rather surprised when he cooks dinner again, he's actually pretty decent, his cooking lacks a bit of salt but it's good and he's doing his best to have you well fed.

"May I ask...why are you being so nice?" you ask him looking at his back "I've been a bit of a brat"

He laughs looking at you over his shoulder "I suppose...I understand what you are going through" he says, turning his attention back to the stove.

You want to ask him what happened to him, what made him so emphatic out of the blue but the tone of his voice and the stance of his body is enough indicator that this time is not the right moment to ask about it, perhaps one day, you two can share the pain that haunts you both.

[danepopfrippery]

S1e5 rewatch

Poor Nadja. And i love Nandor and Guillermo bickering and acting like they totally arent just like Nadja and Laszlo. And Nandor giving him shit then repeating his quips lololol.

I love my lazy lil fuck like…why couldnt Laszlo hypnotize the gf? Hes so awful at that lol

In Nadja and Laszlo’s room there is a skull on a table. There was one in a closet last ep (w skin lol). How many fuckin heads are in that house?

Ive come to believe Taika Waititi’s fake name has to involve Jeff

I also love how…Colin Robinson is brought into this? Like they cant find Nadja so he’ll do?!?

I think the ‘enter if only invited’ is almost dropped after this ep. It clutters what the vamps can do tho i never understood why say Guillermo couldnt enter and then invite them in?

And then as if to say ‘fuck all that’ they spent 5 mins building up how vamps cant even enter a parking garage but the animal control chick is just chatting away like she knows the cameras?! I get why they may be around (Nandor and Colin flying behind) but not why shed be like come sit and chat.

Also…why did Nandor let Colin fly w him and not Guillermo? Or did i miss it despite rewinding 3 times lol?! Ok right they made Guillermo bike lol!!!!! I so very much would love to see how that was decided.

Poor Jesk he must be so fuckin hard up to be like ‘gee this freaky chic is moaning at me but im into it’

Colin giving Nandor shut is great. Poor lil Nandor the look he has is like when Blackbeard told the guys the rich ppl picked on him.

And for something else soon to be forgotten Colin claims Nandor ate a cat (and Nandor acts like its true and hes embarrassed by it). Jenna is shown later to eat raccoons and shit so prbly true

Annnnd yup Nandor also fails at hypnotizing. Only Nadja seems to be able to do it. Colin continues nailing it

The hissing fight lolololol. Can u imagine just working ur shit job and too weirdos start hissing at each other?

Its wildly funny to me Nadja can do all sorts of shit but fake eating food realistically. Girl just hypnotize him

U do want Colin if forms are involved. Honestly this ep is a great example of their abilities and stupidities. Colin can mess w humans but is useless otherwise. Laszlo and Nandor immediately get trapped (Nandor getting trapped AFTER laszlo is so fucking funny) and they only are all still alive cuz Nadja is around…and Guillermo. I mean if they brought Guillermo this wouldve been a lot easier from the start lol. ‘Not now Guillermo’ lololol

I want little more in this life than Laszlo to take Sam as a familiar. Laszlo + cats gives me life. ‘I have a gentlemans agreement w this cat’

I have trouble believing a monger of thousands of years could be that thrilling?! Thats like saying a walmart greeter is so sexy.

I dont think we’ve ever seen the ‘go back’ trick on anyone else. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO IT TO GUILLERMO AND MAKE IT THE OFMD CROSSOVER

Its actually fascinating that by this logic u could be really fascinating as a soul and even body but not in the current outfit (life) ur wearing.

That cat is a star im telling u. Id love to see Laszlo bring cats to a riot. The lil finger hypnotize he tries is…oddly sexy?

Do u think Nandor is kind to the hell hound cuz he can turn into a dog? God id love to see what all animals they can turn into

‘You turn yourself into a dog in a place that imprisons dogs?’ This fuckhead got himself in a cage and hes LECTURING U AND RIGHT ABOUT IT. Poor Nandor.

And now the only time any of them have a cellphone and its Nadja…who cant work a remote lol

And now yup Guillermo can get her in. Or unleashing Colin long enough works.

I need a still of Laszlo sitting in that cage lol

And yup he forgot to hypnotize the cats lol