#cw borderline personality disorder

[hacked-by-jake]

Okay but Jake is like the perfect comfort character for a person with borderline, hear me out (i also have bpd)

So he praises Mc all the time! He reassures Mc a lot too and can probably relate to a lot of things that people with bpd feels/have been through, since he seems to have a lot of trauma. He logically explains stuff which at least helps me because then there will be a lot less misunderstandings. He's straightforward you know. Sure he's not the best at communicating but neither am i. He's also so mysterious and takes control over situations so i don't have to make too many choices which also helps me from feeling too insecure.

idk if it's just me who's thought about this??? but i thought i'd share it with you since you might be able to relate/explain it better. Thanks for reading my rant

also love your blog and your works! Have a good day/night, you're amazing! <3

ANON? I- AHHHHHHHH! THANK YOU SO, SOOOOO MUCH! YEES! You speak my thoughts!

Okay, before that, three quick things:

1: I went into everything in more detail and also explained some things with the knowledge I have. So for anyone who doesn’t have borderline there are some explanations. (I’m not a psychologist, just a patient)

Point 2: I’m talking about myself and my experiences, my symptoms, every borderliner is different, no borderline looks 1 to 1. There are so many different forms of bpd, please don’t generalize my borderline and relate it to everyone else. It’s different for everyone.

3: (Yes, now I behave like the grumbling mother) The word 'trigger' or 'triggering' has become very normal and almost everyone uses this word. But I would like to point out that in this case it is really about real triggers that trigger real symptoms. It’s not 'it triggered me so much that I got angry' after watching a video, like you often see it these days. Here it really means a triggering of often also serious symptoms, and it is therefore not just simply said. (I am talking about this here so precisely, because as a person with real triggers one is unfortunately often no longer taken seriously (And with that I do not want to deny that the person can be triggered! It is only about the everyday use of the word) When I say "This is one of my triggers" I often get the answer "Haha, same" and it is no longer taken as seriously as it actually is, I do not want to attack anyone, just to point out that this word contains an important medical purpose and is not just a meme from the Internet.)

Maybe nobody cares about this, that’s okay, but I still want to have it addressed.

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First of all: I’m sorry that you have this annoying persecutor bpd, I hope your next days will be marked by a good episode. <3

But yes, I definitely know what you mean and I agree with you. Well, with me it is generally so, instead of having real people as fp’s (favorite persons; Fixating on someone and making your own life dependent on that person (among other things! Also means more!!) symptom of bpd), I actually only have that with fictional characters. Simply because I hardly have contact with people and usually do not want that. All my fictional crushes are emotional support/comfort characters with real mental health reasons and they are always characters that I assume they can handle me and my borderline.

I mean, like you say, Jake is an absolute calming influence/haven of peace (?). While I am much too emotional and my emotions are much stronger* than those of a person without bpd, it fits so well with Jake. While I can hardly think clearly because of emotions, he will probably continue to be calm and not let me 'infect' or 'stress' him (*people with borderline feel emotions 9 times stronger and more intense than people without borderline or Emotion regulation disorder)

In general, one of the biggest points I think is that Jake is almost completely free of prejudices etc, at least in connection with bpd. If you say "Hey Jake, btw I have bpd," he won’t run away like many others do. At least it’s like that in my head and the way I judge Jake, he’s really like that.

I also believe that Jake takes boundaries very seriously and does not disregard them. I think when I say to him, "please don’t touch me now" then he wouldn’t do it either. And if I threw myself around his neck 10 seconds later* (*without exaggerating because that’s bpd) and didn’t let him go for the next 20 minutes, then he probably wouldn’t react with "WTF? You told me not to touch you." But with, probably nothing. Just "Okay"

Besides, and yes, this is unfortunately my toxic bpd side now, but don’t judge me, I’m in therapy because I know it’s not good. Also a big point that makes it easier is that Jake doesn’t have much contact with other people, or actually not at all. This means that there are fewer triggers and fewer "reasons" to be jealous for no reason, for example, or to feel another person is more important, etc., although this is completely irrational.

I also think that Jake is not necessarily someone who really fights/argues. Even if my bpd side loves to argue, I don’t think he will get involved in an argument in the way it can happen with me. While I have completely lost touch with reality, he probably not. He will continue to be rational and not lose his logical thinking. So I could probably yell at him and he would just ignore it and go on normally. And even if that would trigger me as well, I don’t think he would be influenced by that, which is good.

Also, I don’t think Jake is a pretty spontaneous person who wants to do a lot without planning beforehand. So he probably doesn’t suddenly say from one second to the next: Let’s get in the car now and go to the crowded shopping center. This is positive because I do not have to go to a crowded shopping center xD. But also because I think if I would say "I’m sorry but I think I can’t do that today. It's too much" then he would not be annoyed or something else but would understand it. Without trying to persuade or force me for two hours.

(It’s so typical, I don’t think about anything other than these topics all day long, now that I can talk about, it all gone. No more symptoms there.😂)

Also, his rational thinking and behavior is really good, as I said before, but it’s very good for many things. For example, even if I say something that might be hurtful or mean, which unfortunately can happen, but I do this on no account intentionally, I think Jake would have less problems with it. I mean, I can’t be angry with anyone who feels hurt by me, we're all just human being. But I think through Jake’s rational being he would probably let it get to him less because rationally he knows that I don’t mean it seriously and especially that I don’t do it on purpose and that it's not me but the borderline.

Personally, I also think, of course, it always depends, but that it is not bad if you are in therapy to take the partner with you sometimes. I think that many difficulties that can occur in a relationship where one additionally has bpd, are easier to change when talking about it in therapy. Maybe you see it differently, that’s okay of course. The point I want to make is if I ask Jake if it would be okay to go to therapy with me because of me, then he probably wouldn’t say no. But I think many might have a problem with it.

I could list millions of more things now, but then we would be still sitting here tomorrow. With your words, Anon, I can only agree and I really know absolutely what you mean. You described it very well.

Jake is just a really good counterpart for a very emotional person like me.

I’m not happy that you can understand it, but I’m glad not to be the only person and that someone still feels it and absolutely understand it.

I thank you from the heart that you sent me this ask and shared your thoughts and experiences. And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about it, I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me. I also hope that you can understand my words.

I wish you all well and a lot of strength as many positive episodes. Should you ever need something you can write me. Also you can send an ask if you want to get something going or if you want to add something or whatever. And I hope that you will have a wonderful day/evening/night. Take care of yourself and stay healthy. 💚

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Now at the end. When I first talked about me and my borderline here on my blog, I already said that if you have questions about borderline, you are welcome to ask them. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them, I am absolutely okay with that. Borderline has a very bad reputation and there are many prejudices that are really hurtful. And yes, bpd has many negative sides, that’s true, but there are also many positive things that almost nobody knows about. So no matter what you want to know, just ask <3

My last words now are: It is never embarrassing, bad or weak to ask for help. If you’re not feeling well, in whatever form, ask for help. There is no shame. <3

:jake smiley:

[buriedasylum]

being alive is just so exhausting

[juneyhera]

“mental health matters” until it’s BPD

“mental health matters” until it’s BPD

“mental health matters” until it’s BPD

“mental health matters” until it’s BPD

“mental health matters” until it’s BPD

[borderline-culture-is]

tw suicide

bpd culture is knowing that eventually, you are going to kill yourself. you don’t know when or how (although you certainly have an idea), you just know it’s going to happen. you know you won’t make it past 25, and that’s probably being generous.

.

[dumplingprincessextraordinaire]

Did anyone else suffer from things like eds, bpd, depression, anxiety etc growing up but it got largely ignored because “I’m not a bad parent so my kid can’t possibly have those issues, they’re fine!” And ofc probably undiagnosed lol

[rigormortisangel]

"beautiful princess disorder" so close! my mattress is actually soaked through with blood, there are bloodstains on my walls and carpet and stuffed animals. every time i think i get better i think about them and all progress comes crashing down

[virtualscars]

I just wish you would love me.

[bloodywithapinkbow]

Can someone hold me and tell me it's okay while I die?

[virginsuicidalgurl]

she’s so me

[disabled-sysboxes]

[TEXT ID: this system has BPD]

[IMG ID: a purple, rectangular box with the borderline personality disorder flag - a flag with 7 stripes, being pink, white, grey, black, grey, white, and purple - to the left, with the text 'this system has BPD' on the right.]

[TEXT ID: this system has NPD]

[IMG ID: a light purple, rectangular box with the narcissistic personality disorder flag - a flag with 6 stripes, being black, dark brown, orange, yellow, white, and light purple - to the left, with the text 'this system has NPD' on the right.]

[TEXT ID: this system has HPD]

[IMG ID: a neon pink coloured rectangular box with the histrionic personality disorder flag - a flag with 4 stripes, being yellow, white, black, and pink - on the left, with the text 'this system has HPD' on the right.]

[TEXT ID: this system has ASPD]

[IMG ID: a pink coloured rectangular box with the antisocial personality disorder flag - a flag with 7 stripes, being salom coloured, pink, purple, dark purple, darker purple, black, and blue - on the left, with the text 'this system has ASPD' on the right.]

–

BPD - Borderline personality disorder

NPD - Narcissistic personality disorder

HPD - Histrionic personality disorder

ASPD - Antisocial personality disorder

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(Reblogs can be private)c

[buriedasylum]

If “self sabotage” was a person, I’m convinced it’ll be me

[juneyhera]

oh don’t worry it’s finee

(i almost blocked you)

[borderline-culture-is]

BPD culture is

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU but God I could never. You are innocent and I am a dirty beastly monstrous thing. And I'm sorry. And I loved you once. Even stars collapse and become supernovae or blackholes.

—🐾🦈

.

[bpdpr1ncess]

i miss him so bad but he’ll just be mad at me for being clingy. i dont know what to do anymore, he doesnt even want to talk to me. he always just tells me hes busy now.

[mothseatinghumanflesh]

[virtualscars]

I want to melt into your skin so everyone knows you're mine.