#crazy quotes

[queenofrandom666]

"I am the guillotine to chop your head off!"

[humming-fly]

I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever

[galactic-magick]

Star Trek makes me soooo crazy cuz you got Picard saying things like "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose."

And Data saying things like "I would gladly risk feeling bad at times, if it also meant that I could taste my dessert."

And Bashir saying things like “You can't go through life trying to avoid getting a broken heart. If you do, it'll break from loneliness anyway."

And Odo sayings things like "It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice."

And I’m just supposed to be normal about it???

[runraerun]

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

[arkangelo-7]

Bruce, fighting Ra’s al Guhl: I will never let you take my son! Damian is—

Ra’s: Fool! I’m not here for Damian.

Bruce: …

Bruce: …then why are you here?

Ra’s: To recruit my one true successor—Timothy Drake!

Bruce: the fuck

[quintaviouslydevious]

“So let us escalate the situation.”

Super badass line from Philipp Dettmer in Immune: A Journey into the Mysterious System That Keeps You Alive (Book)

[fanaticalthings]

POV: You're on Gothamtwt

just gothamite things

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[notherpuppet]

“Just because you see a smile, don’t think you know what’s going on underneath.”

[lilislegacy]

people always make jokes about percy making these crazy plans and annabeth being super against them. but i’m fairly very sure that 90% of the time, it’s the exact opposite?? there are literally book scenes where annabeth has a crazy plan and percy absolutely DREADS it and thinks she’s gonna get them killed lol. so please allow my take on this:

annabeth: i have a plan

percy: thank the gods. what is it?

annabeth:

percy, narrowing his eyes at her:

annabeth, biting her lip:

percy: i swear to- wise girl whatever it is i’m not doing it

annabeth: no no i really think this plan will work! you just can’t die if we want it to

percy: oh ok sorry, im so stupid because i was thinking not dying IS THE PLAN!!

annabeth:

percy, accepting his fate: what is it

annabeth: okay so you see that bottle over there that says demigod poison, instant death, do not drink?

percy:

[steddieme]

modern day rockstar eddie and kindergarten teacher steve

eddie: babe

steve, engrossed in replying to hate comments about eddie, using one of his secret twitter accounts: hm?

eddie: gareth and i have finally come to an agreement on the title of the next album

steve, not looking up from his phone: that's nice, babe

eddie: it's gonna be "i love my husband so much"

steve: mhm

eddie: the first song will be "even when he doesn't pay attention to me"

steve: cute

eddie: second song is titled "tentacle porn addiction"

steve: nice

eddie: i'm leaving you for gareth

steve: so nice, honey

eddie: *screams*

steve's flight or fight reflex chooses freeze as his soul leaves his body and eddie rips his phone out of his hand

eddie: i knew it! you're fighting trolls online again! i thought we deleted all your accounts last time! did you make new ones?

steve:

eddie: steve!!! you can't keep doing this! you're a kindergarten teacher, you can't keep telling people to kill themselves!

steve: they insulted your hair! i love your hair!!!

eddie: aw, sweetheart. still-

steve rips his phone out of his hand before he can finish his sentence, sprints to their bathroom and locks it

eddie, shouting after him: i'm going to report your accounts!

[aimseytv]

just found this and now i’m googling self lobotomy

[drenched-in-sunlight]

marriage life.

[superbat-love]

Diana: I think I might be attracted to this guy, you know? He just seems like a good family man.

Clark: There’s nothing more attractive than a man who is protective of his family.

Diana: [nudges him playfully] Is that what attracted you to Bruce?

Clark: Of course! One time, I walked into the cafeteria, and suddenly the whole room turned red. Out of nowhere, Bruce came charging in, bodyslammed me to the ground, and kept yelling, “Stay away from my son!”

Diana:

Clark: We rolled around on the floor for a bit until some people managed to pull him off me. Turns out he thought Dick and I were dating. Luckily, the misunderstanding was cleared up once Bruce was trapped in a Lantern ring construct, and I finally had a chance to explain everything to him. Good times.

Diana: …Wow.

Clark: That was the moment I realized just how protective Bruce is of his family. And honestly, it made me admire him even more.

Diana: Maybe we need to reevaluate our attraction to “protective family men.”

[elysiumwhispers]

liking a girl will make you go feral and want to die btw

[apollos-boyfriend]

i may be a toxic gatekeeper but unless they were there all these sad quote/imagine accounts will NEVER understand the intricacies of “what am i without you?” / “yourself?” because they NEVER put a question mark on tubbo’s response. yeah the quote hits hard on its own whatever but the context is SO necessary and adds SO much. tubbo’s response isn’t really. as driven as “yourself.” with that period (.) would be. and, again, adding the period spins the meaning and narrative into something completely different (in a bad way!!! to me!!!! boooo booo tomato tomato etc!!!!)

because tubbo responds in a way that makes it seem like tommy asked him if the sky is blue. like, yeah, obviously yourself, what do you mean, boss man? because tubbo doesn’t value himself in the same way tommy values him. and tommy doesn’t value himself in the same way tubbo values him. there’s a clash of ideals on both sides. that’s what makes it so interesting!!!

but by removing the question mark you create this call and response of “i can’t imagine myself without you / your personhood is important and i am here to remind you to value yourself” instead of the much stronger call and response of “i can’t imagine myself without you / i can’t imagine myself mattering (that much) to you” and it drives me insane