#cql headcanon

[maria-taiwin]

Thanks to @unkonageki beautiful crossover art, I'm thinking to MDZS/The Untamed horny shenanigans 😍🥰

Precisely about mdzs!wwx passing one night with cql!lwj, wwx is thrilled by this new adventure while lwj stays in the bed with only the silk outer robe, blinking slowly at this Wei Ying like a cat and looking composed as always has been. Wei Wuxian finds this Lan Wangji so cute that he wants to eat him whole. So he basically does what he used to do in his mariage life: prepare his roleplay. He approaches the bed and when he gets near he wraps LWJ's whole body with the blanket and screams out loud Lan Zhan's lovely name.

Out of all predictions, cql!lwj lets out a tiny squeal calling wei ying's name, his breath freezed. Poor Wangji, even though he grow over his gay panic and he's now confident on his feelings in the CQL verse too, he still isn't used at all to this kind of intimacy (he's touch starved af) and though he doesn't show he feels already adorably dumbfounded at the idea of wei ying sleeping willingly with him (!), but this is not HIS wei ying, his zhiji, so he also feels kinda confused and in guilty.

Wei Wuxian of course reacts surprised: "wait what? I'm usually the poor maiden in danger in roleplay, why it's you now?".

Lan Wangji watches him visibly distressed but he tries to recompose himself soon because he doesn't even want Wei Ying thinks he got rejected.

"Sorry, I didn't expect it. You can advance if you want."

Wei Wuxian notices that even this Lan Wangji has the red ears when he's embarassed and he can't help to get amused again, but then notices something else.

"Lan zhan?? Why you have the high boots in bed??"

Lan Wangji has not the force to admit that he was so emotional at Wei Ying being in his bed together with him that he forgot to take off his boots.

Wei Ying passes the night laughing to death while lwj looks extraordinarily gloomy in sleep. He sure won't lose his face again in the morning 🥰

[61below]

Cursed MDZS headcanon: since we don’t know who Cangse Sanren’s parents are, Wei Wuxian very well could be Jin Ling’s cousin.

[eastofakkala]

Okay, I’d headcanoned that Nie Huaisang took a decoy...but had not gone into the details as of why. I figured it was just “tradition blah blah blah Nies are private about their swords blah blah blah”. I like this a lot better.

Headcanon that there's absolutely no way the sword Nie Huaisang gave to the Wens was his real one, considering how his father died...

Wen Ruohan literally sabotaged his saber, causing it to break during a nighthunt and get him killed.

There's absolutely no way his da-ge would ever risk Wen Ruohan or any of his sons getting their hands on his little brother's saber...

More likely, it's hidden away in a qiankun pouch.

I doubt that they searched them going in — if they had, they probably would've just confiscated their swords then. Why wait?

Thus, I believe that the reason why Nie Huaisang was so willing to hand over his sword when asked was not just because he hates using it anyway, but also because it was literally just a decoy sword.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think it's really funny that out of 3zun the one that probably likes drinking alcohol the most is in fact Lan Xichen.

Nie Mingjue canonically doesn't like drinking very much. Qinghe alcohol is probably effective for use as paint stripper so he might have a decent tolerance, he just doesn't enjoy it.

Jin Guangyao has likely deliberately worked up the exact tolerance he needs to drink a socially appropiate amount of alcohol at events without actully getting drunk, because I think the act of not being of sound mind in public is like a horror movie to him.

But Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen invented a whole new cultivation trick just to bypass his family's "one sip and we pass the fuck out" piss poor tolerance gene so he can drink as much alcohol as he wants. This man wants to go get white girl drunk with his sworn brothers so bad and neither of them are into it please pray for him.

[thelibranarchives]

WWX: You're the most jealous man I know.

Drunk LWJ: You know other men?

[imu-chan]

I just realized the funniest thing about Lan Qiren not liking Wei Wuxian, ESPECIALLY once he realizes that he and LWJ like each other, which is that he sees Wangji as similar to his father, which would put Lan Qiren, as his teacher, in the same position as the teacher (Qinggheng-jun’s teacher) that Madam Lan killed. Madam Lan, the outsider who married in and, again, KILLED her husband’s teacher.

Lan Qiren thinks Wei Wuxian is gonna kill him omfg

[cultivateme]

okay but i cant stop thinking about forehead ribbon tan lines 😭😭😭

like 100% headcanon that sometimes wuxian tryna fuck nasty and pulls wangjis ribbon off and sees that tan line and just bursts out laughing and wangji is really insecure about it 💀💀💀

he possibly is so insecure about it that he finds his own private area in the forest or somthing where he can take his forehead ribbon off and get an even tan

[coulsandies]

mdzs headcanon of the day #333 ! based on what i’ve seen so far on the poll (which i will reblog so people who haven’t had a chance to vote can !), the juniors are the most popular as of rn !

out of all the juniors, jingyi is the only one who can (surprisingly) hold his alcohol (which is funny, because he’s a lan). however, he is always the designated driver because he does not trust any of the others (jin ling cannot survive without gps, sizhui only goes the speed limit, if not lower, and ouyang zizhen can NOT park)

[gentlegentian]

"lan wangji is so scary and intimidating"

lan wangji goes blurp blurp with the water of his bath.

[starrywangxian]

i headcanon that lan wangji is left handed and wei wuxian is ambidextrous so when they mark the juniors' notes together, they can hold hands at the same time

[cloudplaygrounds]

An EDITED helpful guide to Jin Ling’s many uncles

in conclusion: everyone’s a brother, everyone’s a husband, everyone’s jin ling’s uncle

[maria-taiwin]

It's Lan Wangji's birthday (modern!au): he hasn't organized any party, he doesn't want, he never had it since his mom's death, he thinks he doesn't need it. What's the use for?

He just wants to stay alone at home like usual. Having dinner with brother and uncle. It's enough. Or at least he thinks it is.

But Wei Wuxian has other plans: he rushes to his room with a big balloon with a rabbit's shape and a big smile. It's his way of greeting him, cheering him up, because everyone - even this fuddy-duddy! - deserves to celebrate and have fun just for once.

Even if they stay at home, it's okay, let's just have fun and enjoy what we have. And Lan Wangji just stands there, still with the baloon in his hand, not speaking back, trying to process what is happening. He can't describe how he feels. When he feels too much, he's always speachless. But... he feels shaken as he didn't remember the last time he was like this for a long time. And he can't get mad at wwx for his surprise. He doesn't want to say it but he is incredibly glad.

The rabbit balloon is very welcomed.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Jiang Yanli: Since your dad got you that PlayStation, that is all you do. I feel you don't even talk to us anymore. Can you put it down so we can have a bit of time together as a family?

Jin Ling: Why does JiuJiu call dad your boytoy?

Jiang Yanli: Go back to your PlayStation, please!

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've been wondering about one particuar point on the "Jiang Cheng marriage recquirement" list and it's the one about low cultivation.

Now on its face, except for the "must be nice to jin ling" point, the whole thing just looks like the most standard list of "ideal wife characteristics under a patriarchal society." naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, coming from a good family, voice not too loud, etc. This leads to either the interpretation that jiang cheng really wants that (doubt dot png) or just... put all the most stereotypical things on a list even though that's not what he really wants.

In that context "cultivation must not be too high" sounds like a typical "men are scared of women who are smarter/stronger" thing. you know, the dudes who feel 'intimidated' when their wife or girlfriend makes more money than them.

...Except wasn't Yanli openly mocked for her low cultivation? Like, wasn't one of the reasons Jin Zixuan was such an ass to her initially because he shallowly assumed her lower cultivation made her an unworthy marriage candidate? Jin Guangshan may hate women who can read but society overal doesn't give the impression that high cultivation in women is seen as something undesirable. I mean... a wife that never looks like she's over 20 even as she starts aging? yeah I have no problem believing a misogynistic society is okay with high cultivation.

So if it's not there just to fit the stereotypical standard of an ideal wife...

Jiang Cheng, are you just describing your sister?

LIke?? Every single point on this list applies to Yanli. All of them. I don't mean this in a freudian incest-y way but in a "jiang cheng are you so unaware of what you want in a partner you just took the only woman you've had an unambiguously good relationship with and hoped no one would notice???" way. Does he know the difference in what you should like about your sister and what you should like in a spouse? Is he even aware he's doing this? Jiang Cheng answer meeeee.

[frankencanon]

Absolutely obsessed with the idea of Jiang Cheng, in the wake of the Jiang Sect's massacre, just massively overdoing it with the defensive measures in Lotus Pier —

It was bad enough when they were first rebuilding, but in the nearly two decades that followed every single time Jiang Cheng had a nightmare about his family dying and/or Lotus Pier burning down, he would immediately get up and start working on the defensive arrays, or the evacuation plans, or so on...

People think of the Impure Realm as an impenetrable fortress, but after Lotus Pier burnt down and was rebuilt? No other sect could stand a chance against Jiang Cheng's obsessive paranoia.

Lotus Pier has everything from defensive arrays, to evacuation plans and saferooms, to secret codes and signals known only to the disciples, to hidden underground and underwater tunnels, to booby traps, barriers, poison gas, etc etc etc...

Never again will Lotus Pier be sieged…not if Jiang Cheng has anything to say about it.

-

Edit: I give full blanket permission for anyone to write fanfic of this, btw. <3

[alcrox]

Did Yu Ziyuan intend to cut off Wei Wuxian's arm?

I have seen this brought up a few times.

There are generally two arguments: yes, she totally intended to do that and only changed her mind when she was told that Lotus Pier would be converted into a "Wen Supervisory Office" AND no, she was just buying time by beating up Wei Wuxian and appeasing Wang Lingjiao.

I think it's a bit of both?

She didn't (and wouldn't) hesitate to beat up Wei Wuxian. This is the first scene we see her physically abuse Wei Wuxian (before this we only hear her verbally abuse... well, everyone) but it is made very clear that Wei Wuxian is quite used to this sort of treatment. Cutting off an arm, however, is very different. It would maim WWX for life. It isn't something that, even WWX with his strong golden core, would be able to just heal from easily. He would have to find a whole new way to get around his disability.

It's not as if YZY would hesitate to cut off WWX's arm from a place of concern or affection. Hell no. She is extremely sharp and intelligent, though. She has seen WWX grow up, she has seen his talents first-hand. She knows just how much of an asset WWX is to the Yunmeng Jiang. And she knew that this day was coming. The day when the Qishan Wen came to her doorstep and tried to take over Lotus Pier. She might blame WWX for it (because she too, like Wen Chao, just needs an excuse to blame WWX, though hers comes from a place of being blinded by hatred rather than planning a seize) but she is well aware that one way or another, this was happening. That much was clear in episode 11 when she is spitting mad that Jiang Cheng has to go to the Wen Indoctrination Camp. She knows what the Wens are doing and she is not surprised when the final showdown finally happens.

So, it's a bit of both. She was buying time, but she was also, maybe, hoping that punishing WWX in front of WLJ would be enough. When WLJ mentions cutting off WWX'S right arm, however, she visibly hesitates. (Or rather, considers.) She knows what cutting off WWX's arm means; it means to rid her Clan of a powerful asset. WWX may still be able to fight with his left arm (as he has clearly made up his mind to do so) but right after his arm is cut off, he would be of no use in a fight. And YZY already knows from that point onwards, there are only two options. One, she and JC and WWX and the Jiang army fight off the Wens and risk losing their lives, including the heir Jiang Cheng. Two, the option which she ends up choosing, she fights to death, defending her home from the Wens while JC escapes with WWX. In both options, WWX's survival and skills are crucial. She knows JC's best chance of making it through all of this is keeping WWX alive and indebted. She cannot cut off his arm yet. Not when WWX, in her eyes, hasn't paid off his debt yet. Not when she knows, despite her hatred, that WWX can be counted on for his courage and loyalty and incredible skills to keep JC safe.

She orders the doors to be shut, which is absolutely meant to be interpreted as acquiescence to cut off WWX's arm. She is clever. She buys them as much time as possible, possibly also gives WWX a while to recover from being whipped so brutally by Zidian. And it also serves the purpose of keeping the Wens inside so that they can't go and alert Wen Chao and bring an even bigger army back to Lotus Pier. She knows shit's about to hit the fan so she doesn't reveal what she plans to do until the last possible moment when does.

And then WLJ utters "Wen Supervisory Office" and YZY knows it's time. That the gig is up.

If the order was to whip WWX with Zidian for a while longer, YZY may have complied. She knows exactly how strong WWX is and how much he can withstand without, like, dying or something. But the price WLJ asked for was too high (and probably calculated on WLJ's part as well; she too must know what a skilled fighter WWX is and how to sever the Yunmeng Jiang from one of its most powerful weapons. She saw WWX in action, after all, in the Xuanwu cave). So YZY stopped complying and began strategizing. How to save her home. How to keep the Clan alive. How to preserve her assets.

She didn't keep WWX alive and safe (well, safe is questionable, she did beat the shit out of him) out of goodwill. She kept him alive and safe out of necessity.

Side note, this shot:

This shot helped reinforce my theory. YZY despises WWX, that much is not a secret. Everyone knows it. Everyone in this very scene knows it. Yet when the Wens, headed by WLJ, first arrive at Lotus Pier, this shot makes a pretty firm statement of they are united against a common enemy. YZY is many things, but she is not stupid. She knows what the real problem here is. And she is standing with her entire Jiang army, including WWX, against said problem.

I despise YZY as a mother but damn if she isn't an interesting character.