#cql headcanon

[maria-taiwin]

Thanks to @unkonageki beautiful crossover art, I'm thinking to MDZS/The Untamed horny shenanigans 😍🥰

Precisely about mdzs!wwx passing one night with cql!lwj, wwx is thrilled by this new adventure while lwj stays in the bed with only the silk outer robe, blinking slowly at this Wei Ying like a cat and looking composed as always has been. Wei Wuxian finds this Lan Wangji so cute that he wants to eat him whole. So he basically does what he used to do in his mariage life: prepare his roleplay. He approaches the bed and when he gets near he wraps LWJ's whole body with the blanket and screams out loud Lan Zhan's lovely name.

Out of all predictions, cql!lwj lets out a tiny squeal calling wei ying's name, his breath freezed. Poor Wangji, even though he grow over his gay panic and he's now confident on his feelings in the CQL verse too, he still isn't used at all to this kind of intimacy (he's touch starved af) and though he doesn't show he feels already adorably dumbfounded at the idea of wei ying sleeping willingly with him (!), but this is not HIS wei ying, his zhiji, so he also feels kinda confused and in guilty.

Wei Wuxian of course reacts surprised: "wait what? I'm usually the poor maiden in danger in roleplay, why it's you now?".

Lan Wangji watches him visibly distressed but he tries to recompose himself soon because he doesn't even want Wei Ying thinks he got rejected.

"Sorry, I didn't expect it. You can advance if you want."

Wei Wuxian notices that even this Lan Wangji has the red ears when he's embarassed and he can't help to get amused again, but then notices something else.

"Lan zhan?? Why you have the high boots in bed??"

Lan Wangji has not the force to admit that he was so emotional at Wei Ying being in his bed together with him that he forgot to take off his boots.

Wei Ying passes the night laughing to death while lwj looks extraordinarily gloomy in sleep. He sure won't lose his face again in the morning 🥰

[61below]

Cursed MDZS headcanon: since we don’t know who Cangse Sanren’s parents are, Wei Wuxian very well could be Jin Ling’s cousin.

[eastofakkala]

Okay, I’d headcanoned that Nie Huaisang took a decoy...but had not gone into the details as of why. I figured it was just “tradition blah blah blah Nies are private about their swords blah blah blah”. I like this a lot better.

Headcanon that there's absolutely no way the sword Nie Huaisang gave to the Wens was his real one, considering how his father died...

Wen Ruohan literally sabotaged his saber, causing it to break during a nighthunt and get him killed.

There's absolutely no way his da-ge would ever risk Wen Ruohan or any of his sons getting their hands on his little brother's saber...

More likely, it's hidden away in a qiankun pouch.

I doubt that they searched them going in — if they had, they probably would've just confiscated their swords then. Why wait?

Thus, I believe that the reason why Nie Huaisang was so willing to hand over his sword when asked was not just because he hates using it anyway, but also because it was literally just a decoy sword.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think it's really funny that out of 3zun the one that probably likes drinking alcohol the most is in fact Lan Xichen.

Nie Mingjue canonically doesn't like drinking very much. Qinghe alcohol is probably effective for use as paint stripper so he might have a decent tolerance, he just doesn't enjoy it.

Jin Guangyao has likely deliberately worked up the exact tolerance he needs to drink a socially appropiate amount of alcohol at events without actully getting drunk, because I think the act of not being of sound mind in public is like a horror movie to him.

But Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen invented a whole new cultivation trick just to bypass his family's "one sip and we pass the fuck out" piss poor tolerance gene so he can drink as much alcohol as he wants. This man wants to go get white girl drunk with his sworn brothers so bad and neither of them are into it please pray for him.

[thelibranarchives]

WWX: You're the most jealous man I know.

Drunk LWJ: You know other men?

[imu-chan]

I just realized the funniest thing about Lan Qiren not liking Wei Wuxian, ESPECIALLY once he realizes that he and LWJ like each other, which is that he sees Wangji as similar to his father, which would put Lan Qiren, as his teacher, in the same position as the teacher (Qinggheng-jun’s teacher) that Madam Lan killed. Madam Lan, the outsider who married in and, again, KILLED her husband’s teacher.

Lan Qiren thinks Wei Wuxian is gonna kill him omfg

[coulsandies]

mdzs headcanon of the day #333 ! based on what i’ve seen so far on the poll (which i will reblog so people who haven’t had a chance to vote can !), the juniors are the most popular as of rn !

out of all the juniors, jingyi is the only one who can (surprisingly) hold his alcohol (which is funny, because he’s a lan). however, he is always the designated driver because he does not trust any of the others (jin ling cannot survive without gps, sizhui only goes the speed limit, if not lower, and ouyang zizhen can NOT park)

[cultivateme]

okay but i cant stop thinking about forehead ribbon tan lines 😭😭😭

like 100% headcanon that sometimes wuxian tryna fuck nasty and pulls wangjis ribbon off and sees that tan line and just bursts out laughing and wangji is really insecure about it 💀💀💀

he possibly is so insecure about it that he finds his own private area in the forest or somthing where he can take his forehead ribbon off and get an even tan

[gentlegentian]

"lan wangji is so scary and intimidating"

lan wangji goes blurp blurp with the water of his bath.

[starrywangxian]

i headcanon that lan wangji is left handed and wei wuxian is ambidextrous so when they mark the juniors' notes together, they can hold hands at the same time

[cloudplaygrounds]

An EDITED helpful guide to Jin Ling’s many uncles

in conclusion: everyone’s a brother, everyone’s a husband, everyone’s jin ling’s uncle

[maria-taiwin]

It's Lan Wangji's birthday (modern!au): he hasn't organized any party, he doesn't want, he never had it since his mom's death, he thinks he doesn't need it. What's the use for?

He just wants to stay alone at home like usual. Having dinner with brother and uncle. It's enough. Or at least he thinks it is.

But Wei Wuxian has other plans: he rushes to his room with a big balloon with a rabbit's shape and a big smile. It's his way of greeting him, cheering him up, because everyone - even this fuddy-duddy! - deserves to celebrate and have fun just for once.

Even if they stay at home, it's okay, let's just have fun and enjoy what we have. And Lan Wangji just stands there, still with the baloon in his hand, not speaking back, trying to process what is happening. He can't describe how he feels. When he feels too much, he's always speachless. But... he feels shaken as he didn't remember the last time he was like this for a long time. And he can't get mad at wwx for his surprise. He doesn't want to say it but he is incredibly glad.

The rabbit balloon is very welcomed.

[askew-d]

i want a modern wangxian au where the story doesn’t finish when they get together. i want chapters and chapters of their dynamics while in a relationship.

i want to see wangxian going in a cinema date and wei wuxian kissing his boyfriend to the point of leaning down to his pants until lan wangji has to forcefully stop him because there are people nearby. i want them discussing over to eat at a fast food chain or at a healthy restaurant friday evening and lan wangji folding when wei wuxian pouts, so they end up with a veggie hamburger, a big mac and a mcflurry on their table (the mcflurry belongs to lan wangji).

i want them giving goodnight kisses to their bunnies before going to sleep. i bet lan wangji likes his showers cold, wei wuxian likes them burning hot, and they always hug each other from behind after it just to annoy the other because of their body temperature.

i want to see lan wangji glaring at jiang cheng from the other side of the dinner table and only showing a nice demeanor when it's jiang yanli who directs her words to him and that infuriates jiang cheng so much that he calls out for memories of when lan wangji used to reject wei wuxian's advances just to be petty. lan wangji hates when they remember how he used to ignore his wei ying.

i want wei wuxian burning their kitchen with a recipe and lan wangji running back home worried wei wuxian got hurt (he just got a slight burn, but he's all pouting about it anyway, and lan wangji showers him in love and care even though their stove definitely got the worst of it and they'll need another one urgently).

i want wei wuxian pranking the juniors he got at work. i want lan wangji or wei wuxian unintentially going viral regarding something stupid. i want lan xichen being the one who takes candid pictures and who appears by surprise in the apartment during moments they're not ready for it.

i want wei wuxian to have ongoing fights with every neighbour: a competition with the upstairs woman who thinks her sex's life is better than theirs, the university student who thinks he can pull a rock song louder than wei wuxian's favorite ones, the left-door hag who thinks she can still hide a dog even if there are explicit rules in the building forbidding it (wei wuxian specifically chose that building because of this rule and he will not let her get away with it), the right-door lady who thinks she can flirt with wei wuxian's man without consequences (nothing that some disappearances of some of her mail can't solve though), and the neighbour at the front door who's definitely into some drug scheme (wei wuxian helps the police out with that).

these are just stupid ideas, but you get me. i want everything about this couple. i need especially this. i need it like the air i breathe. like the sun. like food.

[lgbtlunaverse]

So I've been wondering about one particuar point on the "Jiang Cheng marriage recquirement" list and it's the one about low cultivation.

Now on its face, except for the "must be nice to jin ling" point, the whole thing just looks like the most standard list of "ideal wife characteristics under a patriarchal society." naturally beautiful, graceful and obedient, coming from a good family, voice not too loud, etc. This leads to either the interpretation that jiang cheng really wants that (doubt dot png) or just... put all the most stereotypical things on a list even though that's not what he really wants.

In that context "cultivation must not be too high" sounds like a typical "men are scared of women who are smarter/stronger" thing. you know, the dudes who feel 'intimidated' when their wife or girlfriend makes more money than them.

...Except wasn't Yanli openly mocked for her low cultivation? Like, wasn't one of the reasons Jin Zixuan was such an ass to her initially because he shallowly assumed her lower cultivation made her an unworthy marriage candidate? Jin Guangshan may hate women who can read but society overal doesn't give the impression that high cultivation in women is seen as something undesirable. I mean... a wife that never looks like she's over 20 even as she starts aging? yeah I have no problem believing a misogynistic society is okay with high cultivation.

So if it's not there just to fit the stereotypical standard of an ideal wife...

Jiang Cheng, are you just describing your sister?

LIke?? Every single point on this list applies to Yanli. All of them. I don't mean this in a freudian incest-y way but in a "jiang cheng are you so unaware of what you want in a partner you just took the only woman you've had an unambiguously good relationship with and hoped no one would notice???" way. Does he know the difference in what you should like about your sister and what you should like in a spouse? Is he even aware he's doing this? Jiang Cheng answer meeeee.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Jiang Yanli: Since your dad got you that PlayStation, that is all you do. I feel you don't even talk to us anymore. Can you put it down so we can have a bit of time together as a family?

Jin Ling: Why does JiuJiu call dad your boytoy?

Jiang Yanli: Go back to your PlayStation, please!

[frankencanon]

Absolutely obsessed with the idea of Jiang Cheng, in the wake of the Jiang Sect's massacre, just massively overdoing it with the defensive measures in Lotus Pier —

It was bad enough when they were first rebuilding, but in the nearly two decades that followed every single time Jiang Cheng had a nightmare about his family dying and/or Lotus Pier burning down, he would immediately get up and start working on the defensive arrays, or the evacuation plans, or so on...

People think of the Impure Realm as an impenetrable fortress, but after Lotus Pier burnt down and was rebuilt? No other sect could stand a chance against Jiang Cheng's obsessive paranoia.

Lotus Pier has everything from defensive arrays, to evacuation plans and saferooms, to secret codes and signals known only to the disciples, to hidden underground and underwater tunnels, to booby traps, barriers, poison gas, etc etc etc...

Never again will Lotus Pier be sieged…not if Jiang Cheng has anything to say about it.

-

Edit: I give full blanket permission for anyone to write fanfic of this, btw. <3