#cosplaying him now was a present to myself for my birthday

[winterlilyarts]

The enstars interest came back, so Mika cosplay! Ft my cat because she deserves to be a part of the photos :3

[dark-elf-writes]

#this is giving me flashbacks to when I dumped a man for an anime convention#and tbh didn’t regret a thing#have I told that story here?

You have at least my attention. Please share if you want to.

(I'm a different anon. Sorry to hear about your Asshole Now Ex, Previous Anon. 4 years is a long time to be with someone and for him to cheat on you like that is a horrible thing as is blowing up at you for an innocent quick little mistake. Admittedly "I hope all your faves die" is a little funny and I shouldn't laugh but it's a shonen series and a hell of a curse to inflict.)

So when I was like sixteen I was dating this terrible guy that was like honestly the worst but I had the blissful ignorance of youth and no value for myself in the slightest so I didn’t see the very present red flags on display not the least of them being he was 19, incredibly controlling, and rather… pushy we’ll say.

So my area does an anime convention every year in the winter and I had gone in the past but this was going to be the first year where I really got to go and enjoy it. No adult supervision, money that was our own, way too much ramen and fast food, we were living our fucking dreams.

And I was so excited about this. I bought the tickets in like July for the con in January. I would not shut up about this including the cosplays I was putting together for it. I talked about this constantly for months to anyone who would listen to me for more than five minutes. Everyone in my life knew how much time there was before the con… then right before my birthday I mentioned there was like two or something weeks before it and my boyfriend lost his fucking mind. Like full on screaming at me in his car.

He said a lot of things but it basically boiled down to he didn’t think I should be allowed to go because he didn’t want me, and this is a direct quote, “Dressing like a slut for a bunch of nerds.” He also claimed that I didn’t tell him about the convention beforehand which as stated above is very much false. Everyone knew about it because my ass would not shut up.

And all at once the rose tinted lenses shattered. I remember very clearly opening the door to his car so he couldn’t lock me in with him and telling him that I wouldn’t be with someone that controlling which he didn’t appreciate. Thankfully we were outside my house at the time and my father made it very clear that he owned many guns so it didn’t escalate from there (yet but that’s a whole different story tbh) but he really said “it’s the convention or me” and I chose the convention without thinking twice.

My friends and I debated making a crop top that said “I dumped my boyfriend to be here” but alas we were broke high school kids

[myanxietydisorderhasanxiety]

MY CON EXPERIENCES!

So as someone who has been to multiple cons before, I feel like I have quite a bit to say on the topic. As an autistic person, I feel like I can add some nuance that not everyone experiences, but I’d like to specify I speak for myself ONLY on the autistic experience at cons. Autistic support needs vary widely across the community.

The first con I went to was a local con in 2020. It’s a smaller con, and my friend had invited me to go with her for her birthday. It was definitely a lot more muted of an atmosphere given the fact that we were in the midst of a pandemic, but I’d like to specify everyone I was with took any and all necessary health precautions. Being in that environment for the first time was unbelievable, even for as small and toned-down of a con as it was. It’s nerd culture EVERYWHERE. I was 17, it was my first experience going to any kind of fan event, and I’m sure anyone who’s been to cons before could probably tell I was new at con culture. Everyone we met was friendly and we saw lots of cool collectibles. I’ve been back to that con a few times now, and there was a lot more to see and do when restrictions lessened. I’ve also gotten more into cosplay since I started, so my con pictures have been UPGRADED in a major way.

The biggest (and best) con I’ve attended so far was FanExpo Philly 2023. The pictures above were all taken there, and it was overall just a really amazing experience. I’d never been to Philly, and I asked my cousin on a whim if she wanted to go to the con when I heard a particular guest would be there (10 points if you can guess who I’m talking about), and she said YES. So I took my first solo plane ride across the country and went to a huge con in a city I don’t know. And it was worth it ten times over.

Going to a con that big is overwhelming. There’s multiple show floors in a huge convention center, and the amount of people going to a con in such a major city is about 100 times more than my first con. It was also my cousin’s first con EVER, so it was really interesting to get to introduce her to con culture. (Spoiler alert: she loved it.) The con was bustling all three days, and certain lines were HOURS of waiting. My social anxiety was naturally still present, but there was a sense of camaraderie there that I can’t say I’ve felt anywhere else. We spent so long looking at all the different vendors and shopping in addition to meeting our favorite celebrities. (Seriously, cons are a fan’s paradise. I’m a sucker for Funko Pops for about 3 fandoms and I was SO HAPPY.)

Saturday we had a photo op with Michael J Fox & Christopher Lloyd, and that line was insanity. Definitely the biggest individual draw there especially for Gen X. We spent maybe 2 hours in line, and people didn’t really get snippy like they do at theme parks, we all just wound up talking (and yes, sometimes moaning and groaning about the wait) with people around us for the most part. When we got to the photo op, it was super quick due to the number of people, but my cousin whispered “we love you guys!” To Michael and Christopher and Michael turned around to say something to us. Unfortunately we didn’t hear it because it was so loud but he didn’t turn around for the previous guests we’d seen. I also handed an attendant a letter I’d written to Michael J Fox about what an inspiration he is for disabled people and how thankful I was for his advocacy work.

Sean Astin’s line was less crazy, still packed but less crazy. With him, we were allowed to hug or stand next to him, it was a little more casual, and he was cracking jokes and very friendly. When we went back up to the autograph table (me for a signed 8x10 and my cousin to get her Balrog Funko Pop signed) he was super friendly and just such a nice person. I told him my family said hi, and my mom had been a fan since the Goonies, and he said “next time bring your mom”. So when he came to my small local con in March 2024, that’s exactly what I did. He was just as nice and friendly the second time, and my mom enjoyed it too.

Sunday at FanExpo was my busiest day. We had multiple photo ops with the Stranger Things guests that had all gotten pushed to one day because of some visa issues for one of the guests (poor Joseph Quinn had to do THREE DAYS of stuff in one day). I was pretty nervous, I’m a HUGE Stranger Things fan, my first cosplay was actually season 3 Eleven. We got up to photo op 1 with Joseph and I asked if I could hug him for the photo and he went “of course you can!” Photo op 2 was with him and Grace van Dien, and I’d made friendship bracelets for both of them. She was an absolute angel (I WILL DEFEND GRACE VAN DIEN AGAINST THE HATERS!) and wore the bracelet for our picture and I saw it in the next picture too. Photo op 3 was just Joseph (I’d purchased multiple intending to do it on multiple days and have multiple cosplays). I wound up by myself in line while my cousin went to go get food (we were DYING). I met some of the nicest people in line (we’re Facebook and instagram friends now) and honestly I don’t know when social interaction has been easier. That photo op was the BEST one yet, and had the best story behind it, which if you want, I can share more details of. Suffice it to say, he is an absolute gem of a human being and deserves every bit of success he’s getting, and I’m really glad I got to meet him when he was only famous for Stranger Things. Anyone who thought I was cringy at the time for going to meet him is going to regret not meeting him when they could’ve, especially with Gladiator II and Fantastic Four coming out soon.

Something I’d like to mention in regards to Joseph Quinn, and any celebrities you meet at a con. You need to be respectful of their boundaries NO MATTER WHAT. THEY DO NOT OWE YOU ANYTHING BUT WHAT YOU PAID FOR, which is a picture or an autograph. They’re human beings and just because you paid for a photo op doesn’t mean you get to touch them in any way you want or put them in uncomfortable situations re: posing. I say this because a few weeks after I met him, at another FanExpo, a con-goer tried to touch him in an inappropriate way that was overtly sexual in nature (best approximation from witnesses is attempted groping). This is deplorable, and CONSENT IS KEY whenever you are having an interaction at a con. You can ask, but they don’t owe you hugs, poses, anything. CONSENT should always be the top priority when interacting with celebrities and other guests, no matter what. He was kind enough to give me a hug, but not ONCE did I expect or demand it, nor would I have hugged him if he hadn’t said yes. Paying for a photo op isn’t consent, being famous isn’t consent, cosplay isn’t consent. He was so lovely to myself and other guests and it’s heartbreaking anyone would do something so blatantly sexual and inappropriate.

Rant aside. I LOVE CONS. I love them so much. I’ve met some of my absolute heroes at cons and fan events, and it’s honestly such a wonderful experience overall, at least speaking for my personal experience. I encourage you if you’re curious, go to a con. Get single day admission even and just go get a photo with someone you think is cool. Chances are you’ll have a great time.

[katsushika-division]

It was very late into the night and Touya Kisaragi’s birthday was nearly over but there was still one more present he had yet to receive. A knock on the door to the residence of Death Row Block and Akari was heard and Akihisa, being the one who was closest to the door, went up to check who it was through the peephole, after all, who in their right mind would go to the place where known and infamous serial killers and murderers lived. A minute later, he sighed and opened the door, revealing none other than Kaiji Sano of Kobe Division’s Lovesick, in his usual feminine get up and holding a number of pink and black colored bags. “Surprise!” The crossdresser sang and stepped inside. “Sorry for coming in late, I was booked photo shoot after photo shoot for this upcoming anime but never mind that…” His icy blue eyes scanned the room, looking for a familiar head of blue hair. “Where is our beloved birthday boy?”

“KAI-CHAN!!!” As if on cue, the white haired boy was immediately tackled into a hug by said birthday boy. Touya squealed and nuzzled his cheek against Kaiji’s, grinning widely. “Kai-chan! Kai-chan! You came! I was afraid you forgot!”

Kaiji laughed and did his best to hug Touya back while being mindful of the bags still in his hands. “Of course, darling. I could never forget about you!” Kaiji pressed a kiss on his cheek before signaling him to let go. “I also got you something, well, somethings to be more accurate. Wanna open them?”

Touya’s eyes shined at the thought of presents and nodded rapidly, taking Kaiji’s wrist and pulling him towards his room and shutting the door. Once the two of them were situated on Touya’s bed, Kaiji gave the bags to Touya which he happily took, opening one bag, it revealed…

A pair of new and shiny knives, not only that, they were beautifully crafted, one taking the appearance of a butterfly and the other had hearts carved into them. “I know you have a bunch already but you could always have more, they’re a matching set so you can gift one to your beloved.”

Another bag revealed a beautiful bouquet of pink roses. “Beautiful right? Well, those are actually from Max. He’s really taking up gardening recently, he wanted me to tell you happy birthday and that he’s sorry he couldn’t be there but he had somewhere to be, he didn’t say much about it only that it’s something important and that he’ll be gone for a few days.”

Another bag revealed a gorgeous looking gothic Lolita cake. “Looks yummy right? I had to call in a favor and man did they deliver, and judging by the drool coming from your mouth I’d say that favor is well worth it hehe!”

And finally, the last bag revealed a high quality and accurate Draculaura cosplay outfit. “Ta da~! An outfit just for you! It’s from this doll brand in America called ‘Monster High’ and it’s something I wanted to cosplay for a while but I just couldn’t find the right idea what to show until I thought back on wanting you to show on my livestream one day. The character that outfit belongs to is called Draculaura and the moment I saw her I immediately thought about you! I made the myself and trust me, with a bit of makeup no one will even recognize you! I have it all planned out don’t worry.”

With all the gifts now revealed, Kaiji wrapped his arms around Touya in a tight hug. “Happy birthday, lovely. I know we’ve only known each other for a year but you’ve become so special to me, like you couldn’t even imagine. I hope you know that.” Pulling back, he gave Touya a bright smile.

Happy Birthday Touya! 💖

Suggestive Themes Ahead.

"You're always so good to me, Kai-chan," Touya purred, bringing the white-haired cosplayer into a kiss. It didn't take long for the kiss to get heated, with Touya licking at Kaiji's lips, begging to be let in something that Kaiji was more than willing to oblige. The two of them were lucky that Katsushika didn't have any neighbors because there was no doubt that the police would be called due to the downright sinfully loud noises coming from them. 

It wasn't hard for the two of them in the middle for their heated passion to maneuver closer to the bed, with Touya pushing Kaiji to lay down on it. Giggling as he straddled Kaiji's lap, Touya ran multiple kisses down his throat, stopping only when he felt the thrum of a vein. It's with a coy smile that Touya runs his tongue across it, tasting the pulse that sat underneath his partner's pale skin. 

"Let me show you how much I appreciate it." 

Meanwhile Downstairs…

"Are they?...."

"Yes."

"While we're still here?" 

"Yes." 

"Fucking gross. They're gonna be like this all night long. Great. Akari? Where are you going?"  

"My hideout because I am not listening to that. You two wanna join?" 

"If you don't mind." 

"Holy shit please." 

[radioisntdead]

Writers block? Quick write about something you're passionate about

InFoDuMp

I personally have been learning to embroider and repair clothes, What about you?

-Oldie 🧶🧵

Good evening Oldie 🧶🧵!

EMBROIDER AND REPAIRING CLOTHES SOUNDS SO COOL, I tried my hand at embroidery but it hasn't gone too well but practice helps ya get better bit by bit!

I like to jokingly refer to myself as an Ace of many hobbies [like jack of all trades but with Ace and hobbies]

I HAVE MANY THINGS I'M VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT, Art, yarn, crochet, candle making, as one could guess from my blog writing and other things I can't remember at the moment

Most recently though I've been trying to crochet a plushie for my online friend who's flying down this summer, they have a OC who has a pet pig and I'm crocheting the pig! The yarn I'm using is soft but it has like an odd texture to work with so I have to wear gloves or I'll want to cry, but it's worth it for my friend I've been crocheting for almost a year now but I still can't do too much like certain stitches or a magic circle, MAGIC CIRCLES ARE THE WORST RAAAAA, I really want to learn how to make a strawberry stitch

Strawberries are lowkey my whole brand on my main blog and socials and I love em' a lot, don't tell my friends but I actually prefer mangos a little bit more then strawberries. THE STRAWBERRY STITCH CAN ALSO BE USED TO MAKE PUMPKINS, I love pumpkins, anyways IMAGINE A LIL' BAG WITH THAT PATTERN IT'D BE SO CUTE

granny squares are also the bane of my existence I'm making a sweater that uses them, it was supposed to be for my birthday, my birthday was months ago, maybe I can wear it for my 19th! It took me a bit to learn all the abbreviations for crocheting, for example this list

I usually [pardon my wording] bullshit my way through making plushies or anything really.

So far I've crocheted two dinos, a several octopuses [I've given em' to my family, my dad keeps one in his car!] A shark, a standing cow, a couple of blankets [two completed and one incomplete, the last one was supposed to be for my late dog but unfortunately he passed away before I could finish it and I haven't quite worked up the confidence to finish it but we're planning on adopting another dog soon so maybe I could finish it for them? I don't know I don't want my dog to think I'm betraying him or anything.] I made two pillows, a few of those little mini crochet Pinterest ghosts for some younger family members of mine [they loved em'!] And an among us character that appears and disappears at random

Here are some of them! The dinosaur is a present for my best friend's birthday, they haven't picked it up yet [Moony if you're somehow reading this, don't mind the weird parts of this blog and also DO NOT PROCEED THIS IS A SURPRISE]

[Don't mind my nails, I have a bad habit of biting]

As you can tell they aren't perfect but I'm improving! I liked crocheting the hooves for the little cow.

I'm also making a mushroom hat for renfair! I'm cosplaying one of my OCs and she's a mushroom themed fay/elf thing that sells shady stuff from her stand. I burned my finger while working on it like a second degree burn [DO NOT LIGHT GLUE STICKS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO GO IN A GLUE GUN ON FIRE, BAD IDEA.] So until I'm healed it's on pause but it should be done by the end of the month so I'm excited about that! I used cardboard as a base and then bendable wire to get the shape I wanted and then I put fabric over it, glued it and put the bottom layer of fabric on the bottom and then covered it with pearls, white spots and little details I'm gonna add more when I'm healed.

I got this candle making kit for Christmas that has a little transportable stove and I haven't gotten the chance to use it yet so I'm planning to make some candles this soon I'm gonna make some themed off of characters to give to my friends! I made my best friend a Silco from arcane themed candle for Christmas last year I think? Or the year before that, I cut a silhouette of the character into vinyl and stick it on the glass part of the candle, Might make a Stardew valley themed one for me, my friend likes blue lock [I think that's the name?] So might make a blue lock candle or one based off of their OC, and might make either a bluey one for my best bud or a game character they like,

I tend to use soy wax as it's the cheapest I can get and it's highly recommended I think, be careful on what you put in your candles [like dried flower petals, leaves etc etc] they can and will catch on fire and BAM SOMEONES ON FIRE.

This is more rambling then info dumping, I don't know how to info dump properly, I remember rambling about Flappers ago, I would copy paste it here but the majority of it is me referring to the wikipedia and taking bits from it to quote and then telling my friends that I got it from the wikipedia.

Anyways thank you for listening that helped a bunch! Time to write!

[loudestcloud]

I present to you, #8b4792, now called...

Isn't it pretty? It's best found on a variant cover of Gambit 2022 issue one, art by Salvador Larroca. I picked the color not too close to the light or dark to get the best even mix.

I was originally planning a closet cosplay because I plan on buying a really nice bit of circus equipment that reminds me of him but I was like 'I wonder what that purple' name is' cos I think that almost all pink sweater vests are too pale and his real pink is crazy bright for a casual fit. That's how I found out it didn't have one! So now, I will forever own Cher Violet and my mum will have a colour dedicated to her and her favourite x man.

If you would also like to name a colour after Gambit, #f44c6f is currently available. That is the color of his pink chest plat / top that is most commonly seen in the X men animated series! I warn you tho, If no one else snaps it up by the 2nd, I may just buy it for myself for my birthday n call it Gambit's Glow so better actually now if you want it~~~~

Temporarily tagging the people who interacted with the original post yesterday so they can see the final results:

@anger-ranger turns out the other 2 have tags off

I just named a colour, official. Like I paid for the name of this color. I, Sanchez Anthony Parker H, who named myself after an Avenger and an independent vigilante, named this new colour after an X-man!

Stay tuned for the official certificate within the next 24 hours

[doomstypewriter]

Silence in the classroom

I'm losing my mind over the new episode, so there you go. Drop a comment if you like it.

Word count: 967. | AO3

Summary: Local teacher finally snaps and Remus thinks that's very sexy of him. Roman comes to the realisation they're all royally fucked. Or Logan being the Orange Side self-indulgence.

CW: Sexual innuendo, mild violence, Logan drags Roman quite bad here, kind of psychological torture in a part I guess, it's more like painful telepathy (if there's anything else tell me).

“Where is he?!”

Roman appeared inside Remus’ domains, scrunching up his nose at the smell.

“Is this about the sex doll? I thought you didn’t like that birthday present”.

“You know perfectly well who I’m referring to, so stop playing dumb”.

“Oh, if you wanted to play you could have just said so!”

Remus stood up from the sofa, throwing his nail file onto the pile of trash on the floor. He drove his hand into some slimy monstrosity and pulled a bunch of papers that stuck to his hand.

“How about I crucify you with flytrap paper and gut you out? Mommy said it’s my turn to watch you hang from the ceiling now!”

“That’s it, you’re done”, Roman said, pulling his sword.

The prince whacked Remus with the hilt of the katana, a not-as-violent-as-expected disappointment, the usual. Then he kicked him in the stomach, making him take a step back and chuckle.

“Leave him alone” a voice came from the side.

Roman saw a menacing figure enter his field of vision.

What?

The guy wore a pair of plain black jeans with Logan’s belt. A feeling of dread crawled through Roman. He looked like a twisted parody of the side Roman had been sent to look for while the rest explored the corners outside Remus’ control. He wore a black dress shirt with the first few buttons undone and an orange tie hanging undone between the lapels of a black leather jacket. His hair was a complete mess as if someone had been pulling at it.

It felt so uncanny, seeing a weird copycat of Logan, but edgy and without glasses.

“What the hell Remus?! Is this another one of your friends? Did you send Logan to this disturbing…”

“I said LEAVE HIM ALONE!”

Roman turned around, quivering with recognition. It sounded just like when Logan screamed falsehood but filled with venom.

He squinted at the unfamiliar side.

His heart dropped.

“Logan?”

“Get. out”.

“But… everyone’s looking for you! What is this disguise? Are you trying to cosplay Deceit or something? I guess that doesn’t make sense, the outfits are completely--”

“Shut up!” Logan screamed again.

Roman felt the sound of the room vanish as if he had entered a vacuum, he could only hear Logan’s voice, big and echoey. His vision began to blur and tint orange. He felt tears slipping down his face.

What was happening?

His feet shook worse than when Thomas had chosen Ja-Deceit over him.

Logan approached him as he gripped the backrest of the sofa in an effort to maintain his balance.

“What a pity everyone is looking for me right now. If we’re striving for accuracy, it’s even convenient. But you wouldn’t care about that, right, Prince? You only care about yourself. You take and you take. And what for? Only to lose”.

The blurry figure finally reached him. Logan gripped his sash and pulled him towards his face forcefully. The orange glow of his eyes made Roman tear up even more. He felt an overflow of information rush through his head like a wave of nausea taking over. It was as if, for a second, all of his offences and mistakes were laid in front of him to see.

Just like that, it was gone.

He couldn’t process all of the things he now felt like he knew, the same way someone can’t remember a dream after waking up.

The entire room began to shake and produce a terrifying cracking noise.

“Look at you, vague, unobservant and self-hating. How come you always get the upper hand? No. Wrong verbal tense. You got the upper hand”.

“I don’t… Logan… I don’t understand”.

“Oh, allow me to illustrate” he began to say, sounding almost pleased.

“Logan, please…”

“Is that what you’d like me to say? Provide the pertinent explanation, now that you want it, let me be walked over and treated like a dusty encyclopedia. How would you express it? I guess the appropriate metaphor would be as it follows: I’m done being a book used as a paperweight and checked whenever you happen to remember”.

“Logan, I’m sorry, but we need you to--”

A monotone laugh cut him.

“You’re incorrect, as per usual. Address me as Anger from now on”.

“But you’re logic! Stop being dramatic, Lo, we need you!”

“Falsehood! What Thomas needs now is assertive action to fix our failures. And if I need to take this form to overcome your lot being a constant source of inconvenience and frustration to ensure Thomas achieves his goals, then so be it”.

“Come on”, Roman said weakly and horrified, “you know that’s not true!”

“QUIET! It’s not your turn anymore! You know nothing!”

He pushed Roman backwards, making him sink out. Then he turned towards Remus, who regarded him with a wicked smile.

Anger approached him, still frowning.

With his head dripping with blood, hands shaking in anticipation, Remus’ flinch at him couldn’t seem more right.

“There has always been merit to your words, Remus, it was very hypocritical of me not to listen. It’s true--”

“Well, finally!”

Anger rushed forward, pushing Remus against the wall and raising him from his collar. It only made that cruel smile widen.

“Let me finish”.

“Only if I get to after this”, Remus joked.

“Agreed”.

“Wait, really?”

Anger got even closer, glancing slightly upwards to meet the stare.

“You were right, I can’t do this by myself”.

Hearing that, Remus almost couldn’t breathe. Or was it the pressure and the shaking of the room?

Well, mark him horny and terrified. Anger would be one hell of a terrifying eye candy to witness.

“You won’t have to” Remus whispered.

Fucking finally, Anger smashed his lips and teeth against him.

Remus felt like he might have fallen right then and there.

Taglist: @willowaudreykeyes , @queerly-a-hisssstory-momster​ , @theyluna-womoon

If you want to be added to my main intrulogical taglist, tell me

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Faint and Low 5.0 Notes

I like reading about the progress of something. I think it's really interesting to see how things came to be. I like talking about it too, but I never know (like with everything, really) if anyone else is interested too, so I don't say much/all - and then forget.

However, I've always told myself that, after the end of the current arc, I will make a lengthy "making-of" post because it's my favourite one and went through many changes and I have a lot of notes about it in general. (I talked a bit about it before though) This is still a million years away. The lovely cosplay (and the resulting talk!) reminded me of some things regarding the Faint and Low 5.0 chapter, so have these notes in the meantime if you're interested! :)

As the "5.0" indicates and as I said back then, that chapter went through many, many rewrites, rearrangements, etc... before I finally landed on something decent.

From my final handwritten notes for this chapter (also, the only clean ones! the others ended up as absolute disasters):

The final round of notes it was, but while writing, things did not end up like that in the end as you know. Idiot me forgot the ring (it just went so well without it!), but I did not forget the present at least.

Cedric was actually meant to try (!) to kiss her :))) (like leaning in and so!) I removed that because Cloudia was not well. She just recovered enough to see Cedric, everything was still raw, she was in a vulnerable state - it wasn't the right time. I doubt he would have tried anything all things considered - it would have only upset her further! And he had not sorted through his thoughts and feelings properly by then! (And still hasn't!! Cloudia hasn't either!!) The timing was off. The almost-kiss was cut, but the uhm tension (?) stayed :)

(And Cedric ended up running into Barrington and Cecelia first before getting to Oscar; half the planned conversation was shifted to Cecelia and Cedric, etc.)

I had to go through my old, battered notebook for the next notes. This is part of the (very messy!) notes for the very first version of Faint and Low:

A more mutual almost-kiss :) Oscar was meant to interrupt them for the longest time, actually. (I mentioned this here before!) Only during the last few rounds of revision, I changed this. I thought Oscar had done enough awful things that arc already - and I just wanted any initiation OR interruption to come from Cloudia and/or Cedric only! No third parties, just them!

From the next round of notes:

Basium interruptus = interrupted kiss!

I was also very anxious about forgetting the birthday present. I'm very glad I didn't forget it in the end.

At any rate, they were never meant to kiss in that chapter anyway! The timing (which, I think, is super important! first kisses are delicate matters, I think! especially considering the story and the characters) and rough frame for their proper kiss has never changed in all these years, actually. Pretty much anything else did. (In the very beginning, the kiss was set for Ch20 - Faint and Low 5.0 is Ch20! Then, it was shifted to Ch24 (which is Clockmaker) before it was pushed to Ch🤭 after major story overhauls.)

I pre-wrote many versions of that scene and discarded them again...

Here have some excerpts from the first (somewhat?) "kiss" try:

Cloudia was meant to outright ask him at first! Her reason for that? Well... I'll give you that old context another time :)

Another bit, a few lines down... (containing one of my favourite Word suggestions!)

After many tries and a lot of pondering, I think I now know how to do the kiss and I hope it will turn out okay and you will like it when the time finally comes^^'

[cosplayinamerica]

Cosplay Over 40 group founders : Jae and Ana

Today I’m highlighting one of the Instagram share pages / theme pages, I followed, Cosplay Over 40. For the past few years, I’ve reached out to various  pages asking about how their page got started.

Ana: We arrived at cosplaying via two different avenues. Jae and I were both into anime, comic-book, and science-fiction geeks growing up. He loved — still loves — Macross and Robotech, I was more Star Blazers, Superfriends, and Star Trek. In high school and college, my friends and I made our own Star Trek uniforms and attended Star Trek events in New York City back when it wasn't called cosplaying. It wasn't even called costuming. It was just being a Star Trek geek. I bought my first official costume — a Star Trek Next Generation science jumpsuit — in grad school, and that just opened the door to what would become cosplaying. I pulled together costumes of Ranma Saotome from Ranma 1/2, Jessie from Pokemon, and Kim Possible, and I'd wear them for Halloween, to library events, and to comic-book expos... what would eventually become the cons we know today.

Jae: I have always loved taking photos. I'd take photos of friends, of people at events I'd attend. I love photography. It's my way of being involved without being the center of attention and without being stuck on the sidelines. I became a sports and portrait photographer, but cosplay always called to me. It just appeals to my geek side. And with Ana getting more and more into cosplay, it only seemed natural for me to turn to cosplay photography.

Ana: At first, we were just thrilled to be part of the cosplay scene. I love fandom meet-ups. I love meeting voice actors and artists, especially those behind the anime and comic-book characters I love. When people come up to me and ask to take photos with my cosplay, it's such a deeply satisfying feeling. My cosplay made people happy, made people smile.

Jae: We got really caught up in that scene, seeing other people reacting to Ana's cosplays and to so many other amazing cosplays.

Ana: And then we started to notice a different reaction. I think I first started noticing it at some meet-ups. There's be the main group, and then there'd be a handful of us on the outside. This happened more and more often, and it took me a few years to realize that those of us on the outside were older than the central groups. Once I realized this, my eyes flew wide open. At cons, I started noticing that the photographers would ignore fabulous, intricate cosplays worn by older cosplayers and would flock to take photos of teenagers and 20-somethings in wigs and bikinis.

Jae: It really pissed us off. Here were so many people who obviously put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into creating armor and amazing sewing projects, and they were barely being given a glance. I started going out of my way to photograph these cosplayers... and all over them were our age or older.

Ana: It finally came to a head in 2019. We spent a weekend at an out-of-state con, and we — myself and all the other older cosplayers — might as well have been invisible.

Jae: One of the other photographers actually told me he only takes photos of "young, pretty girls."

Ana: I told Jae that we couldn't just let this kind of behavior continue. We had to stand up and do something about it, let the older cosplayers know how wonderful they are. I have a Master's in public communications and I've worked as a social-media specialist for various companies and organizations since the mid 1990s. Since cosplay is such a visual art, I went straight to Instagram and searched for "cosplay" and our age range: 40. There was absolutely nothing there.

Jae: We also checked 50. There was nothing. Then we checked 30. Two accounts came up, both dead in the water. One hadn't posted since 2015, and one hadn't posted since 2018.

  Ana: Just to be safe, we also checked "old," "older," "geezer," all those types of terms. There was absolutely nothing. Given what we'd seen over the years at cosplay events, this really didn't surprise us, but it still hit us hard that there was no representation for the older cosplayer. I spent a couple of weeks outlining the guidelines we would follow. We looked at successful cosplay feature sites like @sharingcosplay and @women.of.cosplay. We knew we wanted to feature individuals, to give each cosplayer their time in the spotlight. We also wanted it to be structured. We didn't want to give one cosplayer a huge write-up, then give the next one just a few sentences. Everyone had to be showcased equally. After all, the whole reason we were doing this was because of the inequality we'd seen.

Jae: I felt we had to go beyond Instagram with this. I'd recently gotten into videography. I felt — still feel — that a multimedia market exists for the older cosplayer. I told Ana that we had to take this to podcasts, to YouTube, to even a magazine specializing in the older cosplayer.

Ana: I've worked as an assistant editor and managing editor for several magazines and I currently work as a contributing writer for two specialty magazines, so creating a magazine was something I totally agreed with. I also agreed with the podcasts and You Tube channel. That kind of thing is right up Jae's alley.

Jae: We decided that we would make this a multimedia venture, focusing on the older cosplayer and letting the world know how fabulous older cosplayers are. Older cosplayers have the discretionary income to dedicate to cosplaying. At this age, they're serious about their hobby and it's a true labor of love. It's not just something they do with their friends a couple of times a year. It's a passion. And the skill I've seen, the dedication... it all needed to be celebrated.

Ana: But we decided to start with social media first. We launched on Instagram on June 28, 2019, with Facebook and Twitter following shortly after.  We did encounter a small glitch...

Jae: There was a Facebook group with a very similar name...

Ana: We checked them out and saw they were a community group that shared photos of themselves and events they attended, nothing remotely like what we were doing and have planned for the future. Having studied journalism law and having consulted with a copyright specialist, we knew we were in the clear to bring our dream to life: celebrating the magnificent, often-overlooked older cosplayer.

Jae: The reception has been incredible. Not a week goes by that we don't get a message or email from a cosplayer thrilled to have found a place that showcases people their age. Our age.

Ana: We also get messages from people letting us know they'll be turning 40 soon and can't wait to be featured. We get people who message us on their 40th birthday, eager to be featured. Or who message us just days before their 40th birthday, asking to be featured on their special day. It's been wonderful. It's been mind blowing.

Jae: We've gone to several cons, and the reception there has been amazing. We've spoken to so many older cosplayers, every single one of whom had experienced ageism at these type of events and who were absolutely thrilled to discover that our focus is them and only them.

Ana: And then the pandemic hit.

Jae: It really sucked, from the photography standpoint, to watch everything come to a halt. But this also gave us the push we needed to move forward with our plans.

Ana: We started producing cosplay video projects, open to any cosplayer over the age of 40. We figured that cosplayers were looking for ways to continue cosplaying — safely — during the pandemic, looking for ways to interact with other cosplayers. We'd present a theme and state a deadline for submission.

Jae: We had a tremendous response.

Ana: Jae took all the video clips and edited them into amazing montages that really showcased how amazing cosplayers over 40 truly are. For one video, our Fight Challenge, we had more than 50 cosplayers participate from all over the world.

Jae: We also held an online con in March 2020.

Ana: Yes, our "Con Together." It was nine days of scheduled fandom meet-ups and cosplay sharing. We even had an artist's alley.

Jae: But right now, we've moved on to the next stages of our Cosplay Over 40 plans.

Ana: Jae has been building a dedicated podcast studio outfitted with all sorts of live-streaming equipment. I'm sure I'm not using the right terminology for this. It's Jae's baby, and I trust him implicitly to have it ready to go later this summer. I've also started working on the inaugural issue of Cosplay Over 40 magazine. The editorial content has been decided, I've reached out to cosplayers and others in the cosplay community for interviews and photos, and I'm really looking forward to laying out the issue and getting it to print.

Jae: But even with these new platforms, we are not slowing down with our original presence on Instagram.

Ana: Absolutely not! We're still growing — we just passed 3,900 followers — and we are now actually part of the @SharingCosplay family of feature pages. We are always looking for new cosplayers to feature and we always invite those we've featured in the past to share more of their cosplays with us. We have cosplayers in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and even in their 70s sending in their photos. Like I said before, it's mind blowing.

Jae: There's a sense of satisfaction that comes from showcasing cosplayers in our age demographic and beyond, of showing the world how awesome cosplayers over 40 truly are.

https://linktr.ee/cosplayover40

[marshmallowprotection]

Oh my god ray lending me his jacket 🥺👉👈 screams into Pillow

God, I wish that was me. If I literally had the money to put together at least a half cosplay for him so I could have his magenta coat, I would. Now, that would be a great birthday present to myself for sure, but God knows that I cannot do that before February.

Sometimes, you just like to think about being in the garden late at night with Ray, all the while there’s a chill in the air. You shiver once, as in, one time and he’s already prepared to play the part of the gentleman because he’s been fantasying about it for months. He drapes it over your shoulders with a glimmer in his eyes of something...

Hard to say, but he smiles at you, and it makes your heart sputter enough that you completely disregard it. 

[ah-sh1t-here-we-go]

Welcome to Therapy

Hi, hello, welcome. Today I’m gonna talk about everything in my life that sucks. Feel free to come along for the journey. 

Let’s start with the obvious: Covid. Greetings lockdown #973, oh how I’ve missed you. Now here’s the thing, generally speaking, I rather enjoy lockdowns. It gives me an excuse to work from home and just not leave the house. My ferrets get to be out of their cage a lot more, I get to cuddle with them a lot more. It’s a great arrangement. I also don’t have any friends here (which is another therapy point that we’ll get to) so restrictions and shit don’t bother me. But this lockdown in particular couldn’t have come at a worse time. 

My birthday is June 2nd and I had some great plans. I was gonna go book shopping, op shopping, I had an appointment to get my septum pierced, I was gonna take myself for some nice lunch. Guess I’m not doing any of that now. Oh, and my mum was gonna fly over from Perth to visit too. So, I can kiss all of that goodbye. And this isn’t the first birthday I’ve had to spend alone because of Covid. I had to spend my 21st alone last year too. So this is great. 

So, that sucks. But you know what else sucks about this lockdown? I STILL HAVE TO WORK AT THE FUCKING OFFICE! Why?! My boss was like “*british man voice* oh, fantastic. We get to keep working from the office because that was one of the exceptions.” So I don’t even get to have extra ferret cuddles! What a load of bullshit! 

I mentioned having no friends earlier. That’s going to be therapy point number two, let’s go. I made the dumb decision to move to Melbourne in March last year just before Covid really hit. Now, yes, I will be using that excuse as to why I still have no friends here. It sure isn’t because I have the social skills of a turnip and the confidence of a squirrel. Ordinarily, it doesn’t bother me to be alone but I went to SupaNova on Saturday and that was really upsetting. 

As a little bit of backstory, I have been to every SupaNova/Comic Con since I was 14 with my family and my friends. I would go with my mum, step-dad, little brother, and like 3-6 friends. I’d never been to a convention by myself until Saturday. I didn’t cosplay either, which was also a bit weird. Seeing everyone else there so happy and loud with their friends really made me feel so alone. Being in a place I’d never been before also made me nervous. Unfortunately, to compensate, I spent way more money than I should have and fed the capitalist worms that eat my brain. 

Saturday was a particularly hard day because that was also the day my family dog was put down. I’ve already made a post about him but he was my fifth birthday present so we had him for 16 years. I knew he was on the way out when I saw him last Christmas but having Mum tell me that he was finally laid to rest has really affected me. I start crying randomly. It’s like I just spontaneously remember that I’m never going to be able to see my dog again. It hurts but I know it’ll pass. 

My home life hasn’t been great at the moment either. Which probably sounds ridiculous considering I live alone but it really has been a struggle. I have no motivation. I can barely get myself to do things that make me happy, let alone cooking for myself or cleaning up after myself. Don’t even get me started on the state of the things the ferrets have touched. Last night, I didn’t make dinner. Not necessarily a problem but considering I didn't have lunch or breakfast either I’d say it’s a bit of an issue. I took myself to bed at 7 after a shower because “there was nothing else to do”. Obviously not true. I couldn’t sleep either though, and my stomach starts to give me the worst pain by 9pm. I still didn’t want to cook so I just made one of my microwave meals. I couldn’t finish eating it though, it was too much. 

I just think that when you can’t even be motivated to watch tv someone thing has to be wrong and I can barely get through an episode. 

[just-come-baek]

at your scarvice

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader ft. Jimin x OC (Jiwoo) and other BTS members as cameos

Themes: smut | comedy | ghost!au | haunted house!au | amateur ghost hunters!au | friends to lovers!au

Word count: 12.2k

Summary: “I’ve done a research about a haunted house which is like only one village away from Jiwoo’s parents’ house, and it would be awesome if we went there for a quick ghost hunt before the party. You can even bring all your cameras and shoot a Halloween special for your YouTube channel or whatever. You’re subscribers will love it, and besides, what could possibly go wrong?”

Prompt: “If I die, I’m going to haunt your ass.”

Warnings: amateur ghost hunting | irresponsible usage of ghost hunting devices | mentions of brutal deaths | mentions of Jungkook being a YouTuber | plenty pop culture references | friendly bickering | main characters being idiots | occasional spooky stuff | penetrative sex | 

__________

Knock! Knock!

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked straightforwardly upon seeing me on the other side of the doors. As per usual, I smiled brightly, waiting for him to move aside, so I could feel myself home.

“I’m inviting myself in,” I answered, walking past him. “Tonight is a big day, and we gotta get ourselves ready,” I added and put two heavy shopping bags on the floor before plopping on the couch, catching my breath. “I planned the entire day, and we’re already far behind schedule. If it wasn’t for the traffic, I would be here about thirty minutes earlier.”

“It’s just a Halloween party,” Jungkook stated, and I rolled my eyes. “It’s no big deal; Jiwoo organizes one every year.”

“The party is just one of the things we’re gonna do,” I started, excited to tell him about everything I had meticulously planned. I was going to make sure he would never forget this night. “I’ve prepared a few surprises before the party.”

“Do I wanna know?” Jungkook asked, sitting in an armchair across from me.

“One thing at a time, okay?” I proposed, and Jungkook unwillingly complied; he had never been the one to fancy surprises, but he could make an exception for his best friend. “First thing on the list – re-watching the season 6 of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural while eating unhealthy snacks and having gin and tonic drinks,” I revealed, and Jungkook scrutinized me, making an ugly face.

“Are we talking postmortem, too?”

“I can’t believe you had to ask me that,” I answered, a little bit disappointed that he thought I’d skip this content. Never; it was too good to be ever skipped on.

“Sweet,” Jungkook exclaimed, jumping out of the armchair in excitement. “Why don’t you turn on the playlist, and I’ll go get us glasses and a bowl for the chips?”

Hurriedly, I logged into Jungkook’s computer and turned on YouTube.

“Which episode was your favorite?” Jungkook asked me as he sat on the couch beside me, setting the tableware on the coffee table next to the laptop.

“All of them were good. They’ve gathered a lot of evidence this season, but for me, the house call one was the best."

“It was dope, but my favorite is definitely the season finale,” Jungkook stated, and I couldn't disagree. All of the episodes were great, and it was impossible to choose the best one – objectively, at least. All of them were hilarious and spooky in their own way, and it was a delight to re-watch them again. “The marathon shall begin,” he added, pressing the play button.

“Finally.”

It was a very peaceful afternoon, and frankly, it was exactly what I needed after a couple of hectic days at the university. The professors were more demanding than usual, and a relaxing hangout was the perfect remedy to all the stress I had been put under.

Per each episode, Jungkook and I would have a drink and empty a bag of potato chips, occasionally bickering about how we would act in these haunted places. While we both considered ourselves shainiacs, it was quite obvious we would chicken out in the moment of strange, not necessarily supernatural, occurrence.

For the outsiders, Jungkook might have seemed to be a tough cookie, but in reality, he was just a big softie. I, on the other side, enjoyed horrors a bit too much; therefore, in the face of danger, I would laugh.

Probably.

One cannot be sure without actually witnessing a supernatural occurrence. Best case scenario – a full- body apparition. 

“You would totally run outside screaming,” Jungkook snickered when the ghoul boys’ spirit box picked up a bizarre voice. “You would lose your fucking mind.”

“I would let out a confused chuckle at best,” I fought back, but Jungkook wasn’t having any of this, throwing a potato chip at me, blowing a raspberry. “See, this is why Jiwoo doesn’t like you. You’re too childish.”

“What are you talking about? Jiwoo adores me,” Jungkook protested, and I couldn’t help myself but burst his little bubble of confidence and self-assurance. “I'm like... her best friend.”

“She only tolerates you because she has the biggest crush on Jimin,” I explained, and Jungkook gasped in disbelief. “What? You didn’t know?” I asked, confused because it was too obvious not to notice her infatuation. Only Jimin was too blind to see it, despite Jiwoo’s blatant flirting.

“Of course, I know. I’m not that stupid,” Jungkook answered, but I still thought he and Jimin shared one brain cell. “Too bad for her; Jimin's dumb.”

“I'm betting she's gonna make a move tonight,” I started, knowing the juicy gossip which would pique Jungkook's interest. “Jimin told me he's cosplaying as Fred from Scooby-Doo, and she's coincidentally dressing as Daphne. She's gonna be as subtle as a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”

“Weird way to put it, but I agree,” Jungkook answered, giggling adorably under his breath. “And where's your costume?” Jungkook asked, confused, as he finally noticed the lack of my spooky outfit. Our whole crew enjoyed Halloween too much to attend a party in basic all black clothes. “Jiwoo's not gonna let you in without one. You know it.”

“Relax; I'm going as the Nun from the Conjuring Universe. My costume's at Jiwoo's. I'm not parading in that hellish make-up, giving people heart attacks,” I elaborated, and Jungkook nodded, understanding my choice. Last year, I had been dressed as a very vivid horror character, and a few elders had got pretty spooked. I'm not going down that road again. “I've only got white face powder, three black eyeliners, and a set of black contact lenses on me. And check this out; all of it fitted into my new fanny pack. It's awesome, isn't it?” I showed it to Jungkook, and he grabbed it to investigate my new purchase.

“I've been trying to convince you to buy one for almost a year; what've changed your mind?” Jungkook asked suspiciously, remembering numerous rejections of his (in his opinion) well-argued propositions. In all honesty, I considered fanny packs a terrible accessory, but tonight it suited the occasion. It was more comfortable than a purse or a backpack, and surprisingly, it could fit more items than I had previously assumed. “You've also got a new phone case? It's awesome! Why didn't you get one for me, too?” He added in a whiny tone after inspecting my latest let's summon demons phone case.

“I'd say my fanny pack is going to be a Mystery Mousketool, but then I realized you know what the item is, and you don't know what it's going to be used for,” I started rumbling, and Jungkook looked at me in visible confusion. Perhaps, he had one drink too many to comprehend my twisted presentation. “All I'm saying now, it may come in handy if the second phase of my amazing plan goes a little bit off track,” I continued vaguely. Best friends or not, I couldn't straightforwardly confess that it would be easier for me to run for my life if the police would start chasing us for trespassing a haunted property.

“Whatever's going on your mind, I don't like it,” Jungkook muttered as my previous account must've triggered his spider-sense. “What are you plotting?”

“It's nothing, really,” I tried to dismiss the topic, but Jungkook wasn't having any of that; he wanted to know everything about my secret plan, and he wouldn't stop glaring at me until I'd tell him all the details. With this man, keeping a secret wasn't a possibility.

“Tell me, or else I'm not going anywhere,” Jungkook threatened, and Halloween or not, I knew he wasn't joking. For him, gaming all night was just as entertaining as attending a party; therefore, he didn't have any trouble choosing either one of them. At this point, the only thing I could do was to advertise my plan, making it irresistible. “I was planning on streaming this one game this week, and I might as well start doing it today,” Jungkook carried on with his nerdy shenanigans, letting me know it was my cue to change the subject, snowing him under a handful of promises of an adventurous unforgettable night.

“I've done a research about a haunted house which is like one village away from Jiwoo's parents' house, and it would be awesome if we went there for a quick ghost hunt before the party. You can even bring all your cameras and shoot a Halloween special for your YouTube channel or whatever. Your subscribers would love it, and besides, what could possibly go wrong?” I blurted out on one breath, hoping my sincerity was enough to convince him. “Pretty please?”

***

The bus to the village was about to leave at 17:06, and we had only ten minutes left to double-check our inventory: two go pro cameras, two old-fashioned flashlights, a legitimate spirit box (which Jungkook had been gifted two months ago on his birthday), an ouija board (which he gave me for my early birthday), and a spare bottle of booze if we sobered up before arriving at the location.

Due to traffic, our bus arrived a few minutes late, but we were in a great mood, so we didn’t mind it that much. If anything, we were even more excited, because it would be already getting dark upon our arrival.

“So tell me something about your research,” Jungkook started, as we found a couple of empty seats in the back row of the bus – finally we were the cool kids.

“OK, so check this out,” I started, sitting comfortably in my window seat, rubbing my hands together in ardor. “No one really knows how many ghosts haunt this place, yet according to previous owners’ accounts there are at least three ghosts roaming all around the house, and I have my theory about their identities,” I said with a mischievous smirk upon my face, waiting for Jungkook to compliment my well-done research.

“What’s your theory?” He inquired, already intrigued by the house’s story.

Even it was only my thesis.

“Finally, let’s go over some theories,” I said, quoting my favorite YouTube channel.

Whispering, I told him everything I had managed to dig out, successfully keeping Jungkook on the edge of his seat for the entire ride.

It was a mystery how many ghosts actually haunt this location, but according to the witnesses’ testimonies, old newspaper articles, and land registers, I was sure about three names. All of the three men were once residents, and all of them died tragically within the sinister four walls.

The unholy trinity of Kims – that’s the name of my theory.

The house was built in 1913 on an old rye field. It was a very amicable side of the village, and no one had expected the house could bring so much evil.

The first tenants moved in 1915, and though neither of them died, they reported they had witnessed strange happenings within the premises, beginning with the dog barking in the middle of the night at the darkness, ending with them hearing screeching sounds from under the walls.

One night, they stirred awake with their skin covered in scratches, and their dog breathing heavily, slowly bleeding to death. Needless to say, they moved out before the dawn, leaving all of their belongings behind.

While the majority of the locals believed it was witches’ revenge since the coven had been denied the premises, some of whom thought the family was mentally-ill and violent.

The house remained empty way until 1973 when Kim Seokjin moved in. Back in the time, he was a singer, slowly gaining popularity. Having signed the contract with an entertainment label, he bought a house as his own getaway when he needed a break from his demanding fans.

He would reside in the house a few times a year, only when he was desperate for a few moments of solitude. In late October 1974, he went for a short hiatus. Late evening, when he was relaxing with a glass of scotch, someone knocked on his doors, asking for someone – almost like in The Strangers.

Seokjin suspected the stranger was just a very sneaky fan and locked the person outside. The sole purpose of buying the property so far away from the city was precisely omitting situations like this.

Unfortunately for him, it was not a fan.

Later that night, a dozen of Satanists broke into Seokjin’s house, tied him up, and carried him straight to the basement where they performed a grim ritual. According to the police report released to the press, he was discovered lying on his back in the middle of a bloody pentagram, his intestines gutted out, his tongue cut out found in a golden goblet, and two paper knives sticking out of his eyeballs.

It is told that his ghost roams around the basement, leaving a bloody trace after him. Moreover, a young journalist, back in 1981, while doing research about satanic rituals, claims she had seen his ghost, resting in a rocking chair down in the basement, sipping a glass of alcohol. She even swore she could smell a mixture of whisky and blood in the air.

Unfortunately, she didn’t gather any evidence, later being called a lunatic by the disbelieving society.

The house waited for its new residents for twenty years – in August 1994, a newly wedded couple moved in right after their honeymoon. Kim Namjoon was a poet, teaching European literature on the university, while his wife, Kim Joori, was a sweet librarian.

At first, they didn’t notice anything strange. No weird noises, no unexpected guests, no cold spots, no nothing. Everything was peaceful until they decided to conduct a major renovation – it was then when the hell unleashed.

In 1996 they decided to start trying for a baby, and though they both fancied the old décor of the house, it was evident it wasn’t a safe space for a child. While they were thrilled to upgrade the property, providing their newborn with safety, the entities which lived inside were not.

Joori was the one who started experiencing supernatural happenings; she only worked three times a week, and the majority of her time, she spent alone at home. During these late hours, she thought her mind was playing tricks on her. At first, she justified it with stress and a shitload of work regarding the renovation, but then, the occurrences she had witnessed couldn’t be explained with logic.

Joori wanted to sell the property and move out, yet Namjoon would always dismiss her pleas. It wasn’t until November 1996 when Joori, who was already three months pregnant, and Namjoon had a big fight. She gave him an ultimatum, and when Namjoon chose the house over her, she moved out.

A few collective nights after Joori’s departure, Namjoon would sit by the newly rebuilt fireplace and drink into oblivion. It was the first time he noticed peculiar activity in the house, yet he blamed the alcohol for it.

Slowly, day after day, Namjoon would lose his mind. It started off with strange whispers. The voice in his head, or so he thought, begged him to call Joori and bring her back, yet his pride would always stop after pressing the 6th digit of her parents’ landline.

Then it was tugs; from time to time, Namjoon would feel his shirt being tugged. It was challenging to explain with logic, but he opted for blaming the trauma for making him delusional. Namjoon would rather believe his brain was slowly frying itself than accept the supernatural entities.

At some point, he also started hearing distant giggles within the house and seeing shadows passing between walls, but the last straw that broke the camel’s neck was definitely his book of poems flying across the room, landing in the middle of the carpet, and then shredding into pieces right in front of his eyes. While a lot of events could be blamed on the strong drafts of wind or poor timely construction of the house, some things he witnessed were unexplainable.

Shortly after the incident, the entity residing in the house became violent – it wanted Namjoon away, and since he wasn’t going to leave like his wife, there was another way of getting rid of him.

Namjoon wanted to leave the house, reach out to Joori and start anew with her and their baby.

However, he never did.

On a Christmas morning, Joori paid him a visit and the things she witnessed traumatized her for life.

Namjoon’s suitcase was neatly packed, waiting by the doors to be picked up. The house was spotless, except for Namjoon’s study.

Walls were painted red with blood, Namjoon’s body dismembered – pieces of his body parts scattered all over the floor. Only his head was in scarless, resting on top of his desk, right next to his ripped poetry book.

No signs of forced entry, no motive, no evidence.

The police obviously closed the case, but Joori never felt at peace, still believing it was the entity that killed her husband.

And now, finally, the third Kim.

Kim Taehyung.

Not that long time ago, in 2007, the land was purchased by happy-go-lucky Kim Taehyung. At that time, Taehyung was only 19. He bought the house with his inheritance. Ever since little, he was very family-orientated, and when he had a chance to purchase a property, he didn’t hesitate.

Just like former residents, Taehyung didn’t sense anything odd; the omnipresent feeling of darkness came with time. However, even then, Taehyung would dismiss all the strange occurrences happening inside the house.

He had never been one to get scared easily, so a round of floor creaking or cold spots didn’t really impress him.

On the 17th of April, his girlfriend, Chanmi, slept over for the first time, and it was chilling.

According to her testimony, after their steamy sex session, she felt as if being watched. Later on that night, when they were sleeping, cuddling under the sheets, she heard distinctive steps downstairs.

Frightened, suspecting it was a burglar, she shook Taehyung awake, yet the moment he opened his eyes, the noise stopped. Complete undisturbed silence. To Taehyung, Chanmi seemed paranoid (and not accustomed to new surroundings), but he loved her dearly and checked the house, calming her.

Although Taehyung didn’t find anything, Chanmi already knew she didn’t feel welcomed – ever since that night, she made sure they would hang out at her place. Whatever it was that she sensed – it was pure evil.

On the 23rd of June, they had a big fight, and when Chanmi came over the next day to makeup, Taehyung was already gone.

His body was discovered in the bathroom on the second floor – he was lying in the bathtub, sharp pieces of mirror protruding from his wounded body.

Chanmi screamed and fell onto her knees.

But it wasn’t the worst thing about that day – the moment she started sobbing, Taehyung’s head tilted to the side, looked at her with his dead eyes, and in a throaty voice, he growled her name.

In a matter of seconds, Chanmi got back on her feet and bolted out of the house, swearing to herself that she’d never ever return there.

Though the police suspected a murder, deep down, Chanmi knew it was the evil’s doing. She never bothered mentioning that in her official statement, knowing the cops wouldn’t believe her.

Ever since Taehyung’s tragic death, the residence belongs to the city. Despite multiple proposals, it has never been sold.

And now, it’s our cue to investigate these haunted premises.

“You’re shitting me right now, aren’t you?” Jungkook asked me, probably both crept out and impressed. My research was thorough and off-putting at once, and I was sure it partially discouraged him from participating in the exploration.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve read that shit about the house, and you still wanna go there? What’s wrong with you? Only a psychopath can enjoy doing shit like that,” Jungkook argued, and I couldn’t find an answer right away.

I loved horror films and scary stories, mostly because I loved discrediting them and finding flaws in the storylines, and right now, I was about to do the same, but my subject was a real thing.

I didn’t have huge expectations – it was more than probable that we wouldn’t find anything, yet at the same time, it would be pretty dope to witness something strange. Jungkook shouldn’t be that worried – in the worst (best) scenario, we would get spooked by another team of amateur ghost hunters.

“Come on, Kook, grow a pair,” I started, trying to take our conversation on a less pressing level. It was just a silly ghost hunting gig, yet Jungkook sounded serious, almost as if we were going through the pros and cons of keeping a baby. “Ghost ain’t real; the scariest thing inside that house it probably bats,” I reasoned, and Jungkook agreed with a sigh.

“I guess you’re right,” Jungkook said, finally manning up for the mission. “Let’s get this shit over with,” he added when the vehicle stopped at our bus stop.

***

“So… what do you think?” I inquired when the murder house was within our eyesight; the building was spacious, and it really stood out amongst the other residences – no one could miss it. From quite a distance, you could see there was something evil about it, even the fence around the property was installed upside down, supposedly to lock the supernatural entities inside.

“It doesn’t look very welcoming if you ask me,” Jungkook started, scratching the back of his head, probably trying to come up with a good excuse to call it a day and just head over to Jiwoo’s party. “Just by the look of it, I can tell there’s something wrong about it,” he added, and I hummed in agreement.

“Are your spider-senses tingling again?” I asked, and Jungkook elbowed me lightly, not enjoying my teasing. “But for real now. Should we take a few selfies before going in?” I proposed, and Jungkook eagerly agreed, as if prolonging the inevitable reconnaissance.

Carefully, Jungkook wrapped his arm around my frame and snapped a few pictures with his phone, making sure the haunted house was standing proudly in the background. Then, he took another series of photos with my camera.

“If we’re seriously going in there, I think I need an intro for my Halloween special video, don’t you think?” Jungkook announced, pulling out his go-pro camera. After giving me a quick instruction, we started rolling.

At first, he reported what we were doing, but then, he started talking about the new segment of his channel, and my brain just froze. Although I respected his passion for gaming, I completely lost focus whenever he started blabbering about it. But honestly, I thought it was healthy for our friendship. We had a lot of things in common, yet it was a blessing to be different at some point. Whenever one of us felt a bit overwhelmed, we could engage in independent activities. For Jungkook, it was gaming – I’d never try crashing his nerdy party.

“I think we got it,” I announced when Jungkook’s mouth stopped barfing gaming jargon. “Let’s go inside.”

“Fine, but keep it in mind that if I die, I’m going to haunt your ass,” Jungkook stated, and I laughed. Right… as if this cinnamon roll could ever haunt anything.

“Puh-lease,” I retorted, trying to refrain myself from giggling. “If anything bad happened to you, you would be Kookie – the friendly ghost,” I finished, and Jungkook whined quietly, not fancying my opinion.

“Shut up,” Jungkook barked, pulling out the second fancy camera. If he were to step into that hellhole, he would gear himself up from head to toe, getting ready to catch the ghost on tape. “Let’s go in before I change my mind,” he added, as he effortlessly jumped over the fence.

“Will you help me? Not everyone has legs for days,” I mumbled as I extended my arms, so Jungkook could support me when I made my way through the first obstacle. “Thanks,” I quickly said when Jungkook grabbed me, and carefully put me on the ground.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think you’ve got a sexy pair of legs,” Jungkook complimented me, and though in other circumstances I’d blush, this time I ignored it, focusing on the vibration I felt in the butt pocket of my jeans.

The second I put my foot on the unholy soil, weird shit started happening.

Interesting.

My first thought was that I got a text message on my phone, but then it struck me that I always had my phone on silent mode. Quickly, I checked my cell phone, and it turned out that Siri turned itself on.

“What can I help you with?”

The device turned itself on again, but this time in my hand, when I didn’t push any buttons.

“It’s not a good sign,” Jungkook commented, and I started to second guess the brilliance behind my ingenious plan. “It’s not too late to turn around and leave. I won’t be disappointed if you chicken out,” he carried on, but I just grinned at him. There was no way I’d wimp out.

“Nice try; we’re going in,” I prompted, confidently walking toward the main entrance, Jungkook following behind me, probably shooting the surroundings.

As soon as we stepped onto the porch, the wood would start to creak underneath the pressure. Just like everything about the house, it gave off that creepy vibe.

“Showtime,” I whispered under my breath as I extended my hand and grabbed the knob. Just as expected, it was locked.

“Well… it looks like another sign to me. Let’s go back,” Jungkook spoke, trying once again to convince me to back out.

“Get a grip; we’re going in,” I ordered, and Jungkook sighed, regretting that he couldn’t say no to me. “I’m picking the lock; Betty in Riverdale does it all the time, it can’t be that difficult,” I muttered, reaching into my new fanny pack for a bobby pin.

“Are you for real? Since when anything they do in Riverdale makes any sense to you?” Jungkook wondered, but I just rolled my eyes, ignoring his mean comments. “You’re not opening that lock,” he added, making my blood boil. In times of crisis, Jungkook wasn’t very supportive.

“Just shut up, I almost got it,” I barked, sticking my tongue out, adjusting myself to my ultimate focus form, ignoring Jungkook and his shenanigans. Not only he showed me no support, but also he pulled out the small bottle of booze and took a gulp, without proposing me some.

“Just deal with it. We won’t get inside,” Jungkook teased again, pissing me off, and then leaning in, literally breathing on my neck.

“I really hate you right now,” I yelled at him as I straightened up, dropping my bobby pin in the process. “It was my only one,” I whined, kicking in doors in frustration, and to my surprise, it swung wide open.

“Ladies first?” Jungkook murmured, smiling sheepishly, moving aside.

“How gentlemanly of you,” I tsked, turning on the flashlight before entering the building. “I’m pretty sure you’re going to edit your video, deceiving people into thinking you’re a real macho man,” I complained, inspecting the foyer.

Nothing out of the ordinary. For now.

“I’ve got chills,” I stated matter-of-factly when the silence inside the house started to bother me. Though I didn’t believe in ghosts, for some stupid reasons, my heart rate quickened. I felt uneasy, and when I heard my voice echo across the room, I felt less crept out. “Which room should we check out first?”

“When I listened to you on the bus, all of them sounded awful,” Jungkook honestly answered while shedding some light around the living room. “If got rid of all the dust, it’d look pretty comfy,” he added, and I snorted, not expecting him to give me such a nonchalant comment.

Unfortunately, it seemed I was the jittery one.

Well… fuck.

“How about we check out Ouija board in Namjoon’s study,” I proposed, and Jungkook hummed in agreement.

“Maybe there’s still some blood left. You said it was pretty messy,” Jungkook added in excitement, making me wonder how the hell he did a 180 so fast. Not even two minutes ago, he acted like an adorable sacredly cat, but right now, he seemed confident enough to roundhouse kick all the demons back to hell.

“I doubt so, but it’s worth checking,” I answered, and we both headed to the east wing of the house, navigating toward Namjoon’s office. “It may sound ridiculous, but I’m getting horny,” I confessed, and Jungkook stopped in his tracks, gawking at me, not expecting such revelation.

“I knew you wouldn’t resist my manly charms,” Jungkook murmured cockily, wiggling his eyebrow suggestively. “I knew you would fall for me eventually.”

“Right… I’d rather believe a sex demon just possessed me,” I retorted, and for some reason, Jungkook didn’t find it funny. Come on, it was hilarious! “OK, I guess you’re kinda hot right now,” I gave in, unwillingly stroking his ego.

Not my fault, he was just irresistible.

“I knew it,” Jungkook cheered right before when we finally found the right room. This was it – the first space to be “properly” investigated.

Putting the flashlights on the desk, we set the Ouija board on the floor, sitting across from each other.

“Do you know how to use it?” Jungkook inquired, and I smiled sheepishly, telling him I knew bits and pieces, though I had absolutely no idea if my knowledge was legit since it all was based on multiple horror films I had seen. “I’ll check it online,” he proposed and pulled out his phone, quickly typing his inquiry into Google’s search tab. “Whoa, the signal here is no joke; I have a better connection than I have at my apartment. How expensive is this house again?”

“You’re really dumb, you know…”

“You love me regardless, so I don’t really care,” Jungkook absentmindedly replied while browsing through the answers. “OK, it’s easy.”

Briefly, Jungkook explained the ceremony. Apparently, the horror movies didn’t get everything wrong.

Unfortunately, the spirits inside Namjoon’s study weren’t chatty – during our session, they only edged the planchette toward the numbers 9 and 4 (the date of Namjoon’s settlement), yet I didn’t put much thought to it. Jungkook was probably moving it to scare me, and I wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction.

“You know what? It’s not as exciting as I thought it would,” I started when we were collecting our stuff, getting ready to explore another room. For the majority of the time, nothing was happening. We were sitting just sitting in darkness, waiting for something to give us a real spook.

Later, we headed towards the second floor. The stairs were creaking as we made our way up, but we didn’t pay much attention to it, being too focused on locating the bathroom to actually think about basic safety.

The bathroom looked terrifying; the tiles inside were dirty, the original color already fading. The facilities were covered in rust and probably making a lot of unnecessary noises.

“Give me your flashlight,” Jungkook ordered as he put both torches on the edge of the bathtub, one of which switched on. “If there’s something that wants to communicate with us, turn the right one on, and turn off the left one,” Jungkook spoke loudly, waiting for the lights to change, and after some time one did.

“It was definitely a ghost,” I exclaimed in fake dread, bursting out laughing a second later. “It’s solid evidence; it’s confirmed – ghosts are real,” I added, and Jungkook joined me, chuckling adorably. “You can’t change my mind.”

“If it’s you, Taehyung, tell us what happened to you,” Jungkook carried on, and I grew silent, waiting for the ghost to reach out to us. “We don’t want to hurt you; we just want to know the truth. Who killed you?”

Silence.

“Come on, Taehyung. We don’t have all night; we’ve got places to be,” I urged the ghost in a taunting manner, hoping for something to finally happen. With each passing second, our expedition seemed more and more disappointing, and though I didn’t believe in ghosts, I’d really liked to be proven wrong.

“You’re weak sauce, Taehyung!” Jungkook mocked, reaching for the flashlights, wanting to explore another active part of the house – the basement. “You had your chance, Taehyung, and you blew it.”

We quickly left the bathroom and headed to the basement, yet just before we entered the room, I hesitated.

“Maybe we should investigate the basement individually,” I proposed, and Jungkook bit the inner side of his cheek, pondering over my suggestion.

“Fine, let’s do this,” Jungkook agreed with a sigh. “Do you want me to go first?”

“Whatever.” I shrugged, and Jungkook pulled out the spirit box, a little bit excited to use it for the first time. “Go get ’em, tiger.” I patted Jungkook on the back, and closed the doors behind him. “You’ve got ten minutes.”

The stairs creaked when Jungkook was walking down. For a while, it was oddly silent, but then I heard the loud white noise, and I knew Jungkook finally turned the device on.

While he was down there, I roamed around the ground floor, taking a few extra selfies. Unfortunately, regardless of the flashlight, it was still dark as fuck, and I was sure none of the taken photos were Instagram-worthy.

Ten minutes passed, yet Jungkook still didn’t get out.

“You can come out now,” I shouted, but I got no reply from Jungkook.

This fucker was messing with me. I knew him too well not to understand what he was trying to do. However, I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. He wanted to scare me shitless, but he would never succeed.

Confidently, I swung the doors open and made my way downstairs.

“Have you found anything?” I asked when I noticed Jungkook standing in the corner of the room, facing the walls.

“Nope, it was boring as fuck.”

“OK, it’s my turn. Give me the spirit box,” I spoke eagerly, waiting for Jungkook to give me the gear. He survived the individual session with ghosts, so there was nothing to be afraid of. If ghouls didn’t eat Jungkook’s cute butt, I doubted they would be after mine.

“Good luck,” Jungkook murmured and leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss against my forehead before running upstairs.

OK. What the fuck?

With a slam, I was left alone in the basement, and frankly, right now, I didn’t give two shits about ghosts. What the fuck was that? Jungkook and I never showed any affection for one another. The most intimate interaction we had ever had was elbowing each other.

We didn’t kiss.

Never.

Not even an indirect kiss.

All the wires in my brain were frying. A whole army of ghosts might’ve jumped out of nowhere, and I wouldn’t give two shits about them. What the hell was Jungkook’s deal? Why did he do that?

Regardless of how much I desired to find evidence on ghosts, right now, my mind wasn’t in the right place. Thoughts of Jungkook, of how much I tried to not act on my attraction toward him, how I wanted him to make a move – they completely took over my sanity.

A full-body apparition might’ve as well started reciting Great Gatsby, and I wouldn’t notice it probably.

Trying to leave that horrifying train of thoughts, I shook my head. I needed to get a grip. Tonight was about ghosts, not about Jungkook.

Promptly, I turned on the spirit box, starling at how loud it roared to life.

Except for one beam of light coming out of my flashlight, it was entirely dark, and the white noise emitted by the device made the scene even more terrifying. I would undoubtedly faint if I didn’t like this dreadful atmosphere.

“Is anyone here?” I asked and looked around – everything seemed ordinary. Well… as ordinary as an abandoned house’s basement could be.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

“What the fuck was that?” I jerked my head to the side, staring at the device in my hand. It sounded like a male voice, yet I couldn’t quite comprehend the words. “Can you repeat that? You have to speak more clearly,” I spoke, refraining from face-palming myself.

What the hell was I thinking, talking to ghosts?

I must’ve really lost my mind.

“Behind.”

Once again, I jerked my head, furrowing my eyebrows. It really sounded like the word behind, so obviously, I turned around, checking if there’s something, in fact, behind me.

There wasn’t.

“I have to hear more than just one word,” I declared, focusing on the noise, ready to pick up another message. For a long while, the white noise was ringing in my ears, but then I heard something which sounded like my name.

[UNINTELLIGIBLE]

Jungkook’s gonna love my footage, I wondered upon hearing these strange noises. Maybe it is not groundbreaking evidence, but it surely will be thrilling to watch. Jungkook’s followers will love the new content.

“You find me.”

“Oh my God, this is awesome,” I cheered enthusiastically, and though I was having the time of my life, it was time to take the fun to the next level. “Who am I talking to? What’s your name?”

“Kim.”

“That was an instant answer,” I commented, feeling goosebumps on my skin.

Much to my dismay, it was the last coherent response I got; I sat there alone in the darkness and received only a few unintelligible reads. So much for ghost hunting… I thought, ready to leave the basement.

Checking the time on my phone, I realized I had two more minutes, and though it was pointless to reach out to ghosts at this point, I decided to record my useless commentary. Maybe Jungkook would use my witty monologue as a part of his YouTube clip, or if not, he’d have a good laugh when analyzing all the footage from this night.

“So… I’ve been sitting in the darkness for a while, and no ghost dared to give me a spook. It’s such a disappointment, really. These ghosts here are real wimps; I lured Jungkook inside this basement, and this may come as a big shocker to everyone, but nothing really happened to him –“

[BANG!]

Quickly, I turned my head around, trying to locate the source of the strange noise; it sounded as if it was coming from under the stairs, yet I quickly dismissed the disturbance – it must’ve been a rat or something.

Clearly, it wasn’t a ghost.

“As I was saying… this house is a complete bummer. When we first arrived, the house looked really nerve-racking, but when we actually started exploring it, it let us down. Honestly, the scariest part of this expedition probably was when Jungkook failed to prank me.”

“Your time is up,” having opened the doors, Jungkook hollered. “I’m going down there,” he added, and I turned around, giving Jungkook a chance to record my grand exit on tape.

“I’m getting outta here, ghosts. You are a bunch of wimps!”

“Did you just seriously mock the ghosts?” Jungkook asked, giggling adorably.

“Why not? It’s not like they’re going to kill me for calling them out.”

“Should we leave now? I’d stay for a little longer and recorded some weird random shit. What do you think?”

“It’s definitely gonna piss these ghosts, so I am in.”

At first, Jungkook insisted I record him dance a few Fortnite choreographies, and though I had no clue what he was doing, I kept the camera rolling. Then, I turned music on my phone, and we jammed to old K-POP hits like Super Junior’s Bonamana, SHINEE’s Lucifer, f(x)’s Electric Shock, and many others.

Then Jungkook made me record his beatbox performance, and it was torture. However, there was a silver lining – it helped me determine whether ghosts were real or not. The answer was no – no one would endure it.

And if it wasn’t for my crush on him, I’d definitely not endure it either.

Later that evening, Jungkook gave a short instruction video on how to defend oneself with basic taekwondo moves, and then we thumb-wrestled.

“You know what would really piss the ghosts off?” Jungkook inquired, and I wondered what else his one brain cell came up with since I highly doubted if it could get any dumber than it already had.

“I don’t know… what else would really piss the ghosts off?” I answered, having no idea what we could do to outdo ourselves. Everything that we had done for the past hour was already offensive as fuck.

“Isn’t it absolutely the worst when you’re in a public place, minding your business when you walk past a couple making out right in front of you?”

“It is absolutely the worst, but how is it any relevant?” I asked, cocking my eyebrow in confusion. Jungkook was right, making out openly in public was rude, and obnoxious, and one of my biggest pet peeves, yet I highly doubted the ghosts had the same hierarchy of irritating situations. They’re dead, and they can haunt people without any consequences – that’s pretty dope itself, and I just couldn’t understand why it would be their top bête noire.

“Well… it’s not completely irrelevant, and besides, ever since you’ve mentioned you’re horny, I really wanted to kiss you,” Jungkook confessed, and my jaw dropped at the revelation. Jungkook wanted to do what!?

“Well… you just played yourself,” I stated, and Jungkook creased his forehead in confusion. “Is that a confession you’ve just recorded? I bet you want to record our kiss, too. That’s kinky, and weirdly enough, it turns me on a little bit,” I finished my thought, and then Jungkook smiled widely at me, figuratively lighting up the rundown basement which we were still in.

“Well… now you just really have to kiss me,” Jungkook retorted, and I smiled mischievously, curious of how he’s going to play his cards now, “unless you want me to show your parents a video of you confessing to your kinks.”

“Well… you should’ve waited a little bit longer, maybe I would’ve named all the other kinks I’m into,” I challenged, biting my bottom lip seductively. “If you really want our first kiss to be in this shabby, totally not haunted basement, then go for it,” I consented, waiting for him to approach me and knock the air out of my lungs with a world-shattering kiss.

“It’s not perfect, it’s not exactly what you deserve, but it will be a hell of a story to tell our grandchildren one day. Don’t you think?”

“I think you’re getting a little bit ahead of yourself,” I retorted, chuckling. Jungkook was acting ridiculous, and it was adorable. With his cute smile and firm butt, he could get away with anything. “Just kiss me, you idiot.”

At first, I expected him to say something cringe-worthy like m’lady or alrighty, but thankfully, I was wrong. With one long stride, Jungkook approached me, resting his large hand on my hips before leaning in to kiss me.

The kiss was sensual and soft, and the way I had always imagined. Gently, Jungkook pressed his plump lips against mine, and we just moved, basking in pleasure. His hand was roaming over my back and butt, whereas mine was going through his silky hair, tousling it.

Gradually, it grew in passion. Jungkook pulled me closer against him, and I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue. Though it was only one kiss, it was quickly making me thirsty for more.

It felt blissful, yet it came to an abrupt stop when we heard a loud bang upstairs.

“Well… you were right, it obviously pissed someone off,” I whispered, chuckling.

“What do you think it was?” Jungkook asked, concerned about the strange noise. “It sounded as if someone just slammed the doors shut,” Jungkook stated, and I quickly agreed with him.

“But we left the doors closed, didn’t we?” I wondered, trying to remember our previous actions. Neither one of us was perfectly sober, yet I was pretty sure we did close the doors. “OMG, this is awesome! It was probably another group of adrenaline-seeking people! We could give them the spook of their life if we jumped out of the basement,” I explained, and I was sure I wasn’t perfectly sober right now either.

“It was probably the wind, but okay, let’s do this,” although knowing it was a stupid idea, Jungkook agreed to conduct my improvised prank.

Carefully, we made our way upstairs, yet when we jumped out of our hideaway, there was nobody there.

“Stupid wind,” I murmured under my breath, really bummed out by this whole situation. “Fuck you, you stupid house. You’ve wasted our time,” I hollered at nothing in particular as I approached the doors and pulled the knob. “Jungkook, it won’t open,” I announced, taking a step to the side, letting Jungkook’s strength to let us out.

Seriously, what kind of an estate agent would try to sell this house without repairing it first? At this point, only people from these HGTV shows would consider buying it, so they could later sell it with real profit.

At first, the doors didn’t want to budge either, but then he handed me his camera and roundhouse-kicked the doors open.

Whoever locked the doors, be it the wind, the ghost, or anyone else, Jungkook’s thick thighs were more powerful.

“Let’s get out of here,” Jungkook said as he grabbed my hand and led me outside, leaving the creepy though definitely not haunted house behind us.

***

Although the navigation system on my phone estimated our route to take us forty-five minutes on foot, Jungkook and I made that distance under half an hour. The house was creepy, but we were already late for Jiwoo’s party, and we didn’t want to face her wrath.

She had called me three times, and Jungkook and I lived in a universe where three missed calls from Jiwoo were more terrifying than fifty from mom.

When we reached Jiwoo’s house, we tried knocking on the doors, but unfortunately for us, everybody was already in a good mood. They couldn’t hear the knocks due to loud music, and I couldn’t be angry – it was our punishment for arriving so late.

Thankfully, when we walked the house around, the patio doors were open, so we got inside.

The house was packed with people, yet I was familiar with only a few of them – the majority of guests were Jiwoo’s college friends, and I haven’t yet acquainted them. In the kitchen, I saw Mario and Luigi, and I instantly knew it was Yoongi and Hoseok. Each year they have adorable couple costumes.

“Look who’s finally showed up,” I heard a loud voice from over the stairs, leading to the second floor. It was Daphne, closely followed by Fred.

“I guess Daphne and Fred just checked the bedroom,” I told Jungkook, and he chuckled, getting the reference. “I hope they didn’t find any ghosts.”

“I bet Scooby and Shaggy are already eaten by the ghost in the basement,” Jungkook carried on, and we both started to laugh.

“Your costumes are in my bedroom, but before you change, I have to feed us some jello shots,” Jiwoo started, making us follow her to the kitchen. “In which bushes were you two fucking, so you came so late?” She questioned, but Jungkook and I didn’t know how to reply. Jiwoo was unpredictable – she would either scold us for going to that house without her, or just shout at us for being reckless and irresponsible, but I guess it was her role in our friend circle.

She was the mom friend.

“We weren’t fucking,” I protested quickly, trying to buy us some time to get a better excuse for our late arrival. “If we were indeed fucking, we would be here before anyone else,” I joked, yet Jungkook didn’t find it particularly funny.

It didn’t worry me, though. Jungkook and I dissed each other daily, he wasn’t going to pout. If anything, he was plotting how to get his revenge.

“Well… true,” Jiwoo replied as she high-fived me. “Don’t worry, Kookie. I’m just messing with you,” she added, and I nodded, knowing she was extra mean to impress Jimin. Retorts weren’t her strongest suit, but so far, it was okay.

Jiwoo distributed the jello shots among the four of us, and to my surprise, they weren’t as strong as I had expected them to be. She had made them, and it came to me as a shock, then the proportions weren’t fifty-fifty.

“Oh my God, I just noticed you both have matching costumes. What a coincidence!” Jungkook hollered, faking his surprise, taking  revenge on Jiwoo.

“What can I say? Great minds think alike,” Jiwoo quickly retorted before Jungkook managed to embarrass her in front of her crush.

“Some things are just meant to be,” Jimin added, draping his arm over Jiwoo’s shoulder, making me and Jungkook gag. What the hell had we missed?!

We had totally wasted our time in that haunted house – we could have been here, watching their relationship develop in front of our eyes! Though I had no regrets after reaming around that disappointing trip to that house, now I had one regret. I was genuinely upset that I missed witnessing how the line between their friendship and love faded away.

“OK, you know what? Go upstairs and change. You disgust me without your costumes on,” Jiwoo ordered, shooing us upstairs.

Obediently, we headed to her bedroom, finding our costumes on her bed.

“I’m so tired,” I announced as I plopped down onto her bed, wanting to get some rest. The march from one location to another was more exhausting than I had initially thought, and my legs were killing me.

“Well… it’s all your fault, I told to we should call an Uber,” Jungkook replied, lying on the bed next to me. “No slacking,” Jungkook hollered, playfully slapping my butt. “If we don’t get downstairs in a few minutes, Jiwoo’s gonna bust in here and complain how we ruin her party.”

“True,” I agreed, and with a loud groan, I stood up to get changed. “And that reminds me. You’ve never told me what you’re dressing as this year,” I spoke, wondering what was inside the bag which was sitting next to my costume.

“I didn’t have time to come up with anything, so I asked Jimin to lend me his costume from last year. He was Jack Sparrow or something,” he explained, and I watched him unpacking the bag.

“Or something it is,” I started when I saw what his costume consisted of. It was basically a deep-cut white shirt, a pair of tight leather trousers, and a hat. “Good luck with fitting into it,” I snickered, wondering how uncomfortable it’s going to look like on his powerful thighs.

“Why don’t you shut up,” Jungkook said, not pleased with my commentary.

In silence, we got dressed, and since my costume wasn’t revealing, I could quickly put it on my clothes, which gave me plenty of time to gawk at Jungkook.

“I feel like a piece of meat, right now,” Jungkook commented, as he caught me staring at him, zipping his trousers. “Can you stop staring at me like that? I’m a person with feelings, not a sex toy.”

“Now you know how all girls in clubs feel,” I retorted and continued to stare at him shamelessly. Right now, I only needed a bucket of popcorn and a few bills which I could put under the hem of his pants.

“Aren’t you going to put that creepy make-up?”

“I was going to, but I don’t have energy nor patience to do that,” I answered lazily, watching him button his shirt. “Besides, I checked myself in the mirror, and I’m rocking that Mary-Eunice look right now,” I added, and Jungkook agreed, approving my American Horror Story costume.

“You know what? Even when you wear that ridiculous nun costume, I would still fuck you,” Jungkook blatantly confessed, and I giggled, not knowing how to react to this odd compliment. “I really must be wrapped around your little finger. You even made me go to that abandoned house.”

“You make me blush,” I admitted shyly before approaching him. Then, standing on my toes, I pecked his lips innocently. “We better go downstairs, Jiwoo must be furious at us for taking so long,” I added, exiting the room, leaving Jungkook speechless behind me.

Though at first, we were too tired to party hard, Jimin and Jiwoo engaged us in a few drinking games, and I was thankful I managed to bullshit myself out of playing truth and dare with them.

I realized what Jiwoo would make me do or confess, and I’d rather Jungkook find it out in different, more private, circumstances.

Around three a.m., people slowly started to get tired, one by one heading upstairs to either fuck each other’s brains out or simply find an empty bed to sleep in. At that time, Jungkook and I were chilling in the kitchen, munching on the food which other guests had the courtesy of leaving.

“We should go on a date on Saturday,” Jungkook proposed, and I looked him in the eyes, nodding my head. “What do you want to do on our first date?” He asked, leaning against the countertop next to me.

“Is there any chance you’re wearing this outfit on our first date?” I asked, and Jungkook quickly shook his head. I teased him all night about this outfit, and by now, he must’ve dreamed about taking it off at least a dozen times. Best case scenario: taking it off right in front of already naked me.

“Nope, stare at me while you still can,” Jungkook said, and I didn’t dare to question his decision. Though he looked like a snack, I respected his choice. He wasn’t going to wear it again, and I wasn’t going to force him. Besides, I was kind of curious about how he looked naked. “So… what do you want to do on Saturday? Bowling? A candlelight supper? Cinema?”

“I was gonna say that anything is fine as long as it’s with you, but would you really prepare a candlelight supper for me?” I questioned, quite amazed by his proposition. Jungkook rarely cooked himself, and even if he happened to whip something up in the kitchen, it would be ramen or something just as easy to make.

“Of course, anything,” Jungkook promised, and I tried my very best right not to kiss him. “It probably won’t be any tasty, but at least, I made it with my hands.”

Oh, screw it.

Instantly, I pulled him closer, smashing my lips against his. The moment he realized what I was doing, he reciprocated the kiss.

“I don’t really care,” I spoke, wrapping my legs around his hips. “Oh, shit,” I cursed upon noticing Jiwoo and pushed Jungkook away.

“I think everybody’s asleep already, what are you guys still doing here?” She asked, eyeing the both of us.

“Nothing, we were just eating,” I stated, though Jiwoo didn’t fully believe in my innocent reply. “What have you been up to? Your green scarf is gone, and you have a hickey on your neck. Have you had fun with Jimin?” I inquired, and she looked away in embarrassment.

Jiwoo had never been to shy away, but she didn’t act like herself around Jimin. When with him, she became a better person, and right now, she was blushing. It was the first time when I saw her behaving like that, and I liked it.

With Jimin by her side, Jiwoo was slowly turning in the best version of herself, and the transition was crystal clear. Even Jungkook wouldn’t miss it.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow; right now, I just want to clean up and go to bed,” Jiwoo said, and I knew it was our cue to live. I didn’t like cleaning, and I knew Jiwoo wouldn’t appreciate my help. She would prefer Jimin’s assistance. “You’re sleeping in the guest room with Yoongi and Hoseok.”

“Thanks,” I replied, and we slowly headed to the guest room, knowing that Jimin would shortly join Jiwoo. They thought they were subtle, but they really weren’t. One look was enough, and Jungkook and I knew everything.

“I hope Yoongi and Hoseok already fucked each other,” Jungkook stated before we entered our room, and I agreed. I wouldn’t like to walk on them fucking. I just wanted to lie down and get some sleep.

***

On Friday, I focused only on myself. I needed to recover fully after a long night of drinking, but also, I wanted to pamper myself a little bit before my date with Jungkook. I was sure he was going to prepare everything to perfection, like the golden boy he has always been, and it only made sense that his girlfriend (me) also ought to be perfect.

I took a long, relaxing bath, I wore a face mask, I ate plenty of fruit, I planned my next week of college, I even turned on the relatively new drama with Ji Changwook, and whipped up a mug of cocoa with marshmallows.

The day was peaceful, and I cherished every second of it before I had to face reality and go to classes on Monday.

In the evening, I even chatted with Jiwoo, listening to a few newest rumors. I didn’t expect her to have any time to spare, but apparently, to her, gossip was more important than her new boyfriend. Good thing she had her priorities set straight.

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | omg you won’t believe it!

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | I know why Seulgi and Irene didn’t come

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | apparently

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:21 | they were on a date yesterday!

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:22 | Chanyeol told Jimin that Jongin were their Uber driver and he took them to a fancy restaurant

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:22 | I was gonna get really mad

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:23 | but I ship them so hard

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:23 | I mean…

That crazy Capricorn girl |17:23 | fucking finally

Jiwoo wasn’t ashamed of double texting, obviously. If she had gossip to deliver, she would spam anyone until she would get a reply, and frankly, it never upset me. Mostly because I was texting the same way.

Me | 17:25 | told you

Me | 17:25| I knew they had hots for each other

Me | 17:26 | you should be glad they didn’t come

Me | 17:26 | they probably fucked all night long

Me | 17:27 | that would be gross if they did it at your place

Me | 17:27 | it’s enough that Jungkook and I walked on Yoongi and Hoseok

Me | 17:28 | if it was my house I’d kick them out

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:30 | they did what????

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:31 | are you kidding me???

That crazy Capricorn girl |17:31 | so Jimin lied to me

Me | 17:32 | wow

Me | 17:32 | you started dating and he’s already lying

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:33 | Jimin told me they behaved well

Me | 17:34 | pls don’t make a scene

Me | 17:35 | you better let them taste their own medicine

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:35 | I knew I shouldn’t have invited them

That crazy Capricorn girl | 17:35 | they’re cute but also horny af

With Jiwoo, when we started texting, we didn’t know how to stop. Topics would come and go, and we would always come up with something new. This night wasn’t any different. When we discussed everyone’s behavior during the party, late changing the subject to the people who couldn’t make it. Then, we would exchange messages about the newest K-POP hits, scandals, and dramas. Sometimes, we would even send memes to one another.

Usually, we would continue our conversation until one of us was tired and went to sleep, but tonight a bizarre text from Jungkook made me finish.

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:41 | come over

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:41 | now

Well… rude.

We didn’t even go on our first date yet, and he treated me like a booty call.

No, it couldn’t be.

Me | 21:42 | what do you mean???

Me | 21:42 | Jeon Jungkook

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:42 | get your juicy ass over here

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:43 | asap

Cutie Goo Baby Kook | 21:43 | you need to see something

What the hell did he want? Couldn’t he wait until tomorrow to meet me? If he wanted to see me, he could just text me like he a regular person. He didn’t have to act like an asshole about it.

Me | 21:45 | fine

Me | 21:45 | I’ll be in thrity

Me | 21:46 | if it’s your dick that I need to see you’re dead

***

Within thirty minutes, I was at Jungkook’s apartment, breathing heavily. His flat was located on the fourth floor, and the elevator was out of order, and whenever I had to take the stairs, I could feel blood on my tongue.

It wouldn’t hurt me that much to tag along once in a while to the gym with Kook. Well… hopefully.

“What’s the emergency?” I asked instantly when Jungkook swung the doors open. “Jungkook, I swear, if it’s a booty call, I’m gonna be pissed,” I warned him when Jungkook grabbed my wrist and yanked me inside.

“No, it’s nothing like that,” Jungkook reassured me as he led me to his bedroom.

Well… he might’ve said it wasn’t a booty call, yet his actions were giving me a totally different message. He was literally dragging me to his bedroom.

“What is going on?” I asked once again, as he made me sit in his gaming chair.

“So… I was editing the footage we recorded at this creepy house, and I found some weird shit,” he started before he leaned against the desk, looking for the right file to show me. “I watched every frame of these tapes, and there’s something seriously wrong with your individual session in the basement.”

“What do you mean by wrong? Can you be more specific? I didn’t feel nor see anything weird when I was down there,” I said, cocking my eyebrows up in utter confusion. Was there something my eye didn’t catch, but the camera did?

“Well… there is like a shadow lingering above you,” Jungkook confessed, and I fought the urge to laugh into his face. It was a shadow, and shadows do linger. “You don’t seem convinced, so why don’t you see for yourself?”

“Ugh, fine,” I answered, focusing on the screen.

I couldn’t believe my own eyes. Jungkook was right. It lasted for a couple of seconds; there was an irregular black specter behind me, and it couldn’t be my shadow – I was perfectly still while it moved for a while, and then disappeared.

It was terrifying.

“I’m speechless.”

Seeing my reaction, Jungkook sat on the edge of the desk and grabbed my hand.

“I know it looks like something supernatural, but I’m pretty sure it can be explained somehow. Don’t worry; all fellow ghost hunters would discredit this evidence in seconds.”

“I’m not worried; I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it’s not worry,” I spoke, still a little shook about the discovery. “Did you find anything else when editing?” I inquired, wondering if Jungkook had more aces up his sleeve.

“Nothing solid,” he declared with a sigh. “I was listening to the messages picked up by the spirit box, and one statement which you assumed unintelligible sounds like not alone, but once again, it’s not perfectly clear. It’s probably just my mind interpreting the white noise.”

“Too bad ghosts ain’t real. If we caught it on tape, we would be millionaires,” I confessed, and Jungkook nodded.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think we’ve gathered a lot of entertaining footage; my viewers are going to love it. It’s probably the dumbest video I’ve ever recorded,” Jungkook spoke, and I started to grin.

He was right – we were a great duo.

“Glad, I could help,” I answered proudly, boasting about my recording skills. Having tooted my own horn for an inappropriate amount of time, I inquired, “Since I’m already here, what do you want to do?”

“How about we cuddle?” Jungkook proposed, plopping on his bed, waiting for me to join him, and since his proposition was irresistible, I obediently lay down beside him, resting my head on his firm chest. “Mm… it’s so comfy,” Jungkook purred as he wrapped his arms tightly around me.

“Have you decided where you’re taking me tomorrow?” I inquired, curious as hell about our date. Knowing Jungkook and how perfect he was at everything he did, I could only guess he would exceed my wildest expectations.

“How is it gonna sound if I tell you I’ve already had it planned out for a while?” Jungkook confessed, and I giggled when he started to press delicate kisses across my neck. It was ticklish, but I liked being teased like that.

“Is there a chance you tell me? You know I hate surprises,” I spoke, turning around on my side, caressing Jungkook’s chest and abs. Jungkook smiled adorably and shook his head. Damn it. “Is there a chance I can guess it?” I tried a different approach, but Jungkook shook his head once again.

“You’ll find out tomorrow,” Jungkook said, and I pouted.

“Is there a chance I can convince you to tell me now?” I challenged him, and before he managed to shake his head again, I sat astride on his muscular thighs, making him speechless. “You can tell me. I can pretend I’m surprised tomorrow,” I urged him, playfully moving my hips against his crotch. Curiosity was in my nature, and Jungkook was really getting under my skin with his stubbornness.

“You’re cute when you’re frustrated,” Jungkook stated before he effortlessly flipped us over, pinning me down to the mattress. “I’d love to push you to your limits, but I’m not ruining the surprise.”

“Come on, Jungkook. You can tell me. We’re best friends, and we don’t keep secrets from each other,” I carelessly mumbled until Jungkook shut me up with a passionate kiss, reminding me that we no longer were just best friends.

With my eyes closed, I gave in entirely, letting Jungkook’s hands roam all over my body. Our mouths moved in sweet harmony while my body writhed beneath him every time his little touches set my skin on fire.

This moment was magical, and I wished every time with Jungkook to be just as good. His smooth and soft movements made my body respond, leaving me breathless and craving for me whenever it lost contact with his hands.

“I really want to fuck you right now,” Jungkook absentmindedly confessed while he was pressing sensual kisses along my chin. “We should wait, shouldn’t we?” I inquired, and I wanted to shout my objection.

Judging by his boner digging into my thigh, he also wanted me to oppose.

“You should’ve thought about it before you kissed me like that,” I replied, and Jungkook smirked, tugging my blouse out of my jeans, slipping his large hands on my bare stomach, slowly making his way up to my breasts. “It’s too late to go back, lover boy,” I added, undoing the buttons of my blouse.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

“Drop dead,” I corrected him, and Jungkook hummed in agreement, his eyes focused on my cleavage, wondering how my breasts bounce. Arching my back, I wrapped my hands around Jungkook’s hips, pressing them against me, making me feel his throbbing cock.

“You won’t be a good girl, will you?” Jungkook asked me, and I bit my lip, shaking my head, hoping he expected such an answer. “Of course, you won’t. Why did I even ask?” Jungkook smirked, playfully nibbling my delicate skin all over my cleavage, while his hand undid the button of my jeans.

“You always assume the worst when it comes to me,” I reminded him, tugging the hem of his T-shirt, wanting to get rid of it. It wasn’t fair – I was almost half-naked while Jungkook was still fully-clothed. “Take it off, I’m losing my patience,” I ordered, and Jungkook quickly pulled his T-shirt over his head, tossing in on the floor. “Jeans, too,” I added, and with an angry growl, Jungkook stood up and discarded his pants as well.

“Happy?” Jungkook asked, standing in front of me only in a pair of boxers.

“Over the moon,” I retorted, and Jungkook smirked as a playful idea crossed his mind. “What are you thinking about?” I questioned uncertainly, but Jungkook didn’t bother to reply. He just leaned forward, slid his fingers under the hem of my jeans, and pulled them down in one fluid motion.

“You make me impatient,” he confessed, and I kneeled on the bed, waiting for him to join me again. I needed him to kiss every inch of my body.

Right now.

“Come here,” I urged him, and he obediently sat on the bed, allowing me to sit astride on him again. “I wanna fuck you like this,” I blurted out, entwining my fingers behind Jungkook’s neck, pulling him closer into another heated kiss.

“I want you to fuck me like this,” Jungkook whispered when we finally parted. “Just jump on it and ride me until I come,” he said before reaching to his night stand for a condom. “Roll it down for me, will you?”

Obediently, I pulled Jungkook’s boxers down, and smeared the pre-cum all over his thick cock before putting a condom.

“I wanted it for so long,” Jungkook whispered when I raised my hips, slowly getting seated on his length. Though Jungkook didn’t go down on me before I took his cock, I didn’t mind it. It stung a little, but I enjoyed this sensation.

“Fuck yeah,” I moaned when I slid down his length all the way to the base. For a short while, neither of us moved, letting one another get used to it. “You stretch me up so fine,” I muttered, gently rolling my hips.

“Move, princess,” Jungkook urged me, and I began to ride him. At first, my actions were delicate and a little shy, but as soon as I relaxed, I picked up the pace, rocking my hips back and forth, making Jungkook moan loudly.

“I love it when men are vocal,” I confessed when I put my hands in his hair, tugging it slightly when I happened to fall out of my rhythm. “It gets me off much faster,” I added, and as if I challenged him, Jungkook moaned again.

“Good to know; now I gotta use this information to my advantage,” Jungkook whimpered with a soft smirk upon his face. “You love hearing my deep moans, don’t you?” Jungkook asked, and I replied in a heartbeat.

“Yes!” I exclaimed when Jungkook began thrusting his hips from underneath, shoving his cock deeper and deeper inside of me. “Ahh… Jung-Jungkook, keep fucking me like that, please, don’t stop,” I begged, and Jungkook even increased his pace, quickly making me overwhelmed in pleasure.

“Your pussy feels so good,” Jungkook started, and I closed my eyes, feeling my orgasm approaching. With a couple of thrusts, I would come around his pulsating cock, and I couldn’t wait to welcome this blissful feeling. “So tight, yet you take my fat cock so well,” he praised, and I pulled his hair when he made me come.

“Fuck, Jungkook, that was amazing,” I praised him, and Jungkook kept ramming his dick inside of me, chasing his own release. His stamina was no joke, and I was feeling lucky because this incredible man was mine.

“Shit, shit, shit, I’m coming.” Shortly after me, Jungkook reached his orgasm, milking the condom with his jizz. “You’re out of this world,” Jungkook whispered before he wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing me deeply.

We were both sticky with sweat, and we smelled like sex, but right now, I couldn’t care any less. Jungkook and I were floating in heaven.

“We should do it again in the morning,” Jungkook proposed, and I laughed, realizing it was the first time in my life I was actually excited to wake up early.

Unfortunately, our plans fell through.

Before my arrival, Jungkook had uploaded our Halloween clip into his YouTube channel, and then, Jimin forwarded it to Jiwoo.

Needless to say, Jiwoo blew up my inbox with notifications, furious at me and Jungkook for doing something so reckless shit without her supervision. Once again, she was the mom friend, and going into an abandoned house without her knowing was pure evil.

Thankfully, she didn’t hold a grudge for a long time – she grew pretty soft on us as soon as she discovered Jungkook and I were well… dating.

[konpithepuppy]

[TRANSLATION: POTATO 04.2021]

7 MEN SAMURAI CROSS TALK + RECENT MEMO

Scans not mine

Neither an English nor a Japanese native speaker

Feel free to correct me, thanks

WHO IS NO. 1 IN TERMS OF ACTING ABILITY!?

For the purpose of checking out the acting ability of the 6 members, different patterns of "smile" were shown. At the end of a heated discussion in the round table discussion, a member who is good at telling lies was revealed!? (The interview was taken in the middle of February.)

Reia-kun is a professional in acting to deceive people

Yabana: This time's theme is "acting ability".

Sasaki: (in loud voice) WHAT!

Nakamura: No, he didn't mean "act here now" LOL. You run into the conversation too fast. Recently, for a project for YouTube, we did a prank on Bana-san (Yabana), right?

Motodaka: We did a cosplay where we shouldn't be recognized. During that time, I desperately covered everyone with my body so that everyone's disguise will not be caught by Bana-san's sight LOL. It was an acting where I used my whole body.

Konno: And us, who are being covered, were disguising ourselves with all our might. It was fun!

Sugeta: Rinne even changed his pants on the spot LOL.

Nakamura: Yabana, how suspicious were you at that time?

Yabana: I think [I got suspicious] when I saw Taiko's face laughing happily LOL. It's obviously that that is his face when he trick people. With that, Taiko's acting level is quite low.

Sasaki: That's what I also think LOL.

Nakamura: Speaking of YouTube, we always have a birthday surprise plans for the members, but for some reason, we didn't pull anything for Katsuki's and Konpi's (Konno) birthdays.

Konno: Yeah. Honestly, I thought, "Have they forgotten about my birthday?" and I got sad LOL.

Motodaka: I am not saying to prepare us 2 different surprises, but why did you not prepare anything?

Yabana: No, you don't know? Perhaps the reason why we are talking about this now might probably because we've got something for you too, you know?

Sugeta: Yeah, this might be a foreshadowing, you know?

Motodaka: There's definitely none LOL. Our birthdays passed a long time ago already. If you insist, Reia's birthday is coming soon, right? LOL

Yabana: When you make it look like there's a surprise but there's none at all is the saddest pattern of prank LOL.

Sasaki: Who might be in the 1st place in acting in private among us?

Yabana: It is probably Reia-kun. He often deceives people, he is an expert in acting!

Nakamura: I myself think so too LOL.

Sasaki: Didn't you fool HiHi Jets and Bi Shounen all along?

Nakamura: I did, but I can't remember what it is about. They are pure so they believed for around 2 years in the proper lie I said to them LOL.

Motodaka: Reia is good with acting in times like that. Me too in the past, he told me, "the staff are very mad" with a facial expression that looked real and I completely believed him.

Nakamura: Fufufu...if you look closely, I am doing the face saying, "I am lying." On the contrary, Taiko is usually bad when telling lies. His feelings are shown on his face immediately. It is easy to understand his face like "Is that an emoji!?"

Yabana: A speech bubble saying, "I am telling a lie now" is faintly coming out from him LOL. That's why when he talked at the beginning of my prank video, I noticed about it immediately.

Motodaka: Rinne is also easy to know if he is telling a lie, right?

Konno: His feelings totally show in his behavior.

Nakamura: Yeah, yeah. He is bad at acting lively especially when he is feeling down LOL. He obviously couldn't talk.

Yabana: It is like he is saying, "I am having a problem."

Sugeta: ...I agree with you LOL.

Sasaki: Konpi is also easy to understand, right? When he fools others, he will certainly look at my eyes and will grin.

Konno: I want to make the 2 of us the suspects LOL.

Nakamura: When Katsuki tricks people, his ears immediately turns very red LOL.

Yabana: His ears are a lie detector, right? It turns very red like it is going to explode.

Nakamura: If there is someone he likes, he will be exposed immediately. She will be like, "This person probably likes me. Since his ears are super red." LOL

Motodaka: What~ I don't like that. Somehow or other, I think it is something you can't falsify LOL.

Sasaki: On the contrary, Yabana is good with lies . He said he was interviewed in the street by chance for 「Getsuyou kara Yofukashi」recently, but that one is also an acting, right?

Nakamura: The truth is that he can't play intruments too, right?

Yabana: Hey, stop it! To the readers, what they just said are both lies, okay?! LOL Or rather, I have not deceived people or lied to anyone!

Everyone except Yabana: That's a lie~!

Nakamura: 7 MEN 侍's best actor is not me but Yabana-kun~.

Yabana: Stop~that~! LOL

Influenced by the acting coaching of Koichi-kun for the DREAM BOYS

Nakamura: I really like the performance of Taiko when he is on stage.

Yabana: I know. Well, he is in character, but suddenly his aura of being a stupid brat was gone and becomes a human being LOL.

Motodaka: Yeah, right. When he was on stage, he became able to speak good Japanese.

Sasaki: ...I hate you all! LOL

Yabana: I also like Rinne-kun's acting in「DREAM BOYS」. There's a scene that (Domoto) Koichi-kun enthusiastically coaches, and as the result of Rinne steadily absorbing the advices, Rinne is turning into Koichi-kun day by day LOL.

Sugeta: I think since he presented a really good example, so I was influenced naturally. I was thankful. Rinne likes Katsuki's acting in 「Nounai Poison Berry」.

Konno: Ah yes, that was a good one.

Everyone except Konno: You haven't seen that, right? LOL

Sugeta: Konpi has not seen any of the members' stage plays until now, right?

Konno: That's just a coincidence LOL. Because during the showing of 「Oretachi Oenya!!~」where Taiko and Rinne appeared, wasn't it exactly during our preparation for 「~The Happy Prince」?

Nakamura: If you say so LOL. Katsuki's acting and Konpi's acting in 「The Happy Prince」were also good.

Yabana: Yeah, right. Serious acting suited them. Also, Konpi's appearance when he sat on the chair and turned round and round LOL.

Konno: Thank you! I had put all of my acting into that scene LOL.

Sugeta: Bana-san tried different acting patterns in daily special corner of「DREAM BOYS」. I think that was really good!

Yabana: I change my hairstyle depending on the day. And then, I match my acting with my hairstyle like, "Today I will go for a mood that looks slightly weak," or "Today, I am in all back hairstyle so I will go for a character that seems strong," and I am changing my acting a little by little. I also changed my costume a little by little, for some reason, all the cast laughed at me on the day where I appeared in tank top...LOL.

Sugeta: Coz you are skin and bones LOL.

Konno: Yeah, right. You are so thin that you look pitiful LOL.

Sasaki: Reia. For me, Reia's acting on stage is also good of course, but I think his acting on television is overwhelmingly good. You do understand me, right?

Konno: Yup. That's exactly about the drama「Gekikaradou」(TV Tokyo) he is appearing in currently, right?

Motodaka: In a sense that he can do whatever he wants is very Reia. I think it is a great thing that he was able to properly reflect himself to his character.

Yabana: The "yey🎶" in that drama is also like Reia's humor, right?

Sasaki: Well, but the usual Reia that we see is close to his character in Dream Boys.

Yabana: We think, "When will we be get beaten?" so we are constantly scared of him.

Nakamura: You are kidding LOL.

Sasaki: Let me ask just in case, since you are moving towards dramas, it doesn't mean that you are throwing away stage plays, right? Please make this clear.

Nakamura: Of course! LOL. Don't say weird things, I want to challenge acting in stage plays from now on too!

Motodaka: Which reminds me, the stage play where Rinne is starring (「Hidamari no Ki」) is starting soon, right? It starts in March, right?

Sugeta: Yup, you're right. By the time this magazine issue comes out, the Tokyo performance have started already.

Nakamura: Doesn't that look super interesting? I also wanna watch it soon.

Motodaka: More than anything else, I am sincerely hoping that the play will start safely. This is what everyone who got an experience with stage play thinks.

Konno: Rinne is lucky so he will definitely be okay! I believe in that!

Sugeta: Even though you said that, you surely won't come and watch, right? LOL

Konno: No, I will go. I will watch you!

Sasaki: This one is an acting, absolutely LOL.

Konno: I am coming~ LOL.

RECENT MEMO

Sugeta Rinne:

I see off my younger sister, who is taking the national examination, at 6 this morning.I want her to do her best that she can use all the effort she exerted up to this day. Not only my sister, but Rinne and my younger brother also got a charm from our papa. Rinne's charm is a prayer for the success of the stage play.

Konno Taiki:

The selfie project in ISLAND TV is difficult. Every time the day I'm in charged gets closer, I become desperate. I already ran out of idea during the 2nd time we did it LOL. I want to take applications of the poses that the fans want us to do!

Yabana Rei:

When I met Tatsumi (Yudai)-kun by chance last January, he gave me a New Year's money. I was moved at how kind senpai he is. Someday, I also want to give New Year's money to my juniors and be respected LOL.

Sasaki Taiko:

I finally purchased a drum set. Since I do not know which one to buy, so the drummer who I am acquainted with and I admire came with me to the store. I am really thankful that he recommended me the items that match with my style of beating the drums!

Nakamura Reia:

I watched at home the movie「The Letters」where Yamada Takayuki-san is starring. I am glad that the story is very deep, and more than anything else, Yamada-san being immersed in his acting is so great that I was drawn into [the movie] the whole time!

Motodaka Katsuki:

I went fishing for the first time with my brother who is 4 years younger than me. My brother caught a large number of fishes that I can't imagine that it was his first time. The total amount of catch we had that day was 77 horse mackerels! It was so delicious when I made it into namerou (finely chopped fish with miso paste) that it disappeared in no time.

[stillness-in-green]

Shigaraki Birthday Week, Day 6: cake

If Magne wants cake, she’s going to have cake.  That it’s a good team-builder is just icing.   (Contains one extremely vague reference to Shigaraki’s backstory, but it’s not even the really big part.  Otherwise spoiler-free through Kamino.)

———–      ———–      ———–      ———–

Magne considers the facts thus: 

           -Kamino has got everyone a bit down. Lost the kid the boss wanted, lost the big boss, lost the hideout, their names are out there making their way around the wanted lists and the bulletins.  Well, hers had been making those rounds already, but the League of Villains has jumped her up the charts the same way All Might retiring will do for that fiery Endeavor and the rest of the top ten.  

          -The boss has been working much too hard since Kamino.  He started out moping, like anybody would if they lost a parent (or whatever it is that All for One was to him), but pulled out of it nice and quick and then threw himself into planning.  Expand the group, find new safe spots, get that new power he sent Kurogiri after.  It’s good that he’s keeping busy—being rudderless and adrift is just about the worst feeling there is—but overwork is a problem too, and with Kurogiri and All for One both gone, there’s no one in the group that can do much to talk him down.  

          -Her birthday is this weekend, and if she can’t spend it with her friends—what with being on the run from the police—she can at least spend it with her new group.  And why not?  Being at the top of the Most Wanted list, that’s a thing worth celebrating, and it’ll bring the group closer together.  Working well together’s an essential part of pulling off a job, and with their numbers down—at least for now—they could all do with some team-building.

          -She wants cake.  And who doesn’t like cake?  It’s a bit gauche to plan your own birthday party, but then, she doesn’t have to say it’s for her birthday, now does she?  

…Fate is not feeling quite so amenable, unfortunately.  Twice is reeling in a new recruit and Spinner’s laying low—the most recognizable in the group, poor thing, at least as long as he’s insisting on the Stain cosplay. Dabi’s playing Mystery Man instead of Mystery Date, worse the luck, and Toga’s still off on whatever errand she’s playing at that’s got her texting from a burner phone instead of her little cute pink one.  

Mr. Compress, the dear, is completely on board.  He also makes stealing a cake a complete breeze.

———–      

“Do you think Shigaraki-kun is more of a chocolate or a vanilla person?”

“That’s hard to even contemplate, isn’t it?  Well, if I were to hazard a guess between the two, wouldn’t it be chocolate?  Isn’t vanilla a bit plain for a villain?”

“But there’s so much you can do with vanilla—what about one of those fruit cakes, with all the strawberry?”

“Strawberry seems more like little Toga’s preference, doesn’t it?”

“Then what do you think?”  

“I prefer pastries, myself. One of those delightful French confections with more layers than a stack of bank notes.”

“Haha!  That’s so you!  Then how about cheesecake?”  

“Might that be a bit rich for our dear leader?”

“He’s not that childish.  And I’m not walking out of here with finger-food.”

“How about that one, then?”

“With all the powdered sugar?  And him in all black?  He’d never get it out!”

“Now who thinks he’s childish?”  

“Childish or not, you know it’s Kurogiri doing their laundry.”

“I’m not sure anyone’s doing his laundry.  Hmm.  Perhaps this one?”  

“Oh!  Cute!”  

“But not too cute?”  

“No, that’s a good one. Let’s go with it.”

“Decision made.  Then let the heist begin!”

“It’s already most of the way finished, isn’t it?”  

“Let me have this, please.”

———–      

Shigaraki knew they were coming.  Mr. Compress had texted.  He’s a stickler for details like that: you can’t expect to carry off a successful heist if you don’t work out the details, apparently.  Shigaraki’s sitting against the wall waiting when they come in.  

He didn’t know they were coming with cake.  

It looks like an average-sized thing to him, not that he’s got a lot of experience, squared-off into ruthlessly clean edges that show off the alternating dark and cream layers.  The top’s covered with a chocolate icing and drizzles of bright red glaze over the kind of “casual” arrangement of raspberries and blackberries and a couple of pale yellow macarons that means somebody with tweezers probably spent an hour agonizing over exactly how to put down every last piece of it.  

He looks up from the cake to Magne and Mr. Compress, both of them staring at him expectantly—he can just sense it on Mr. Compress, even with the mask on. 

“Is this a joke?”  

“Rude!” Magne huffs, leaning her magnet bar against the wall, where it sticks to a pipe with a clang, and dragging over a crate to sit on.  “Call it a housewarming present.”

“You must admit, our new surroundings could use the color.”

The color makes my eyes hurt, Shigaraki thinks, but that’s too petulant to say out loud, so he doesn’t.  Instead, he opts for, “We’re not going to be staying here long-term.”

“Perhaps not, but we are here for now,” Mr. Compress replies amiably, pulling out a marble and materializing himself a very familiar chair.  

“Did you steal that from the bar,” Shigaraki says, tone flat and disbelieving.  

“At the time, I preferred to think of it as ‘reserving a seat.’  And now that the bar’s gone, it’s just salvage, isn’t it?  I’m waiting for a chance to surprise Kurogiri with it, so keep it under your hand, would you?”

Magne tries—she fails, but she tries—to muffle an undignified snort of laughter; Shigaraki just glares.  

“Shall I get us started?” the magician asks with a lilt of good cheer, and an outdoor café table complete with plastic tablecloth appears between the three of them.  Magne sets the cake down and pops the clear plastic lid off of the box.  

“This is stupid,” Shigaraki says, standing up.  

“Why, because we don’t have utensils?  Actually—”

“You brought a table with you; you obviously brought utensils too.  That doesn’t make it less stupid.”  He turns to go back to the trashed office he set up shop in when he and Kurogiri found the place.  I don’t have time to play around like this.  I’ve got to show Sensei I can—

“Honestly!”  Magne’s voice is tart; when he turns to flash her a glare, she does—Good—flinch back.  But after a few tense seconds, she follows up by sitting up straighter and jutting out her chin.  “Enjoying the spoils is part of being a criminal, Shigaraki-kun!”  

All right, it’s good that his League isn’t made of cowards, but this is still stupid.  

“She’s quite right. And being on top means you get first cut.”  Mr. Compress brandishes a knife that’s much bigger than anything you’d need to cut a cake with, especially the one they brought.  “Won’t you show us how it’s done?”  

Shigaraki pauses, scowling at his own hesitation as much as their familiarity.  

“It’s good to let your followers do as they like sometimes, Tomura.  If you enable someone’s happiness, you become associated with that happiness.  In turn, your followers look for ways to return the favor.  And just as moments of injustice can poison a mind, so can happy memories become totems that will drive people to their best efforts.”

Sensei talked a lot about how to handle followers, especially after he lost to All Might. Shigaraki got sick of hearing it, honestly, and it turns his stomach to have it come back now.  But if I go back to the office I’m just going to stew on if I should have done it or not.  

“Are the masks an issue?” Mr. Compress asks, and slides his own halfway off, blinking one warm brown eye at Shigaraki and giving him a sly grin.  “I’ll have to take if off to eat, of course; so you won’t be alone.  And we’re hardly in a position to take you to task for how you wish to present yourself to the world.”

Magne jabs him once in the ribs, looking unrepentant when he yelps, and smiles up at Shigaraki from her crate when Mr. Compress rubs his side and compresses his mask down to marble-size.  

“Come have a bite with us,” she says, direct.  “If only the heroes get to enjoy themselves, why even become a villain?”  

“If you were going to pose rhetoricals like that, we should have stolen wine, too,” Mr. Compress complains, but allows himself to be shushed and begins setting out plates with poor grace but reflexive flourish as Shigaraki walks slowly back over to the two of them.  

He stares down at the cake, trying to remember the last time he even ate something like this.  A restaurant or something, right?  Sensei took me out after the whole thing with the cruise liner.  

The restaurant looked nicer than the crumbling plaster and the leaky pipes on the walls here. But he had to pretend to be normal there, and he itched the whole time.  Just the memory brings his nails up to his neck, and he indulges the habit as he reaches up and gingerly pulls off Father.

Mr. Compress and Magne don’t even pretend not to stare; the former holds up his hands disarmingly when Shigaraki meets his eyes, but the latter just tilts her head, taking in the sight of him.

“You know, at this point I was expecting worse?”  She laughs to herself and hands him a plate.  “Come and eat.”

She didn’t turn away. It pulls at something inside him, a memory of people’s eyes finding him and then sliding away like he was one of those yokai that would follow you home and rip you to pieces if you made eye contact.

Huh.  Sounds nice.  

He slides Father into his pocket and takes the plate.  

He doesn’t end up finishing the cake slice.  

…But he does take all the macarons.  

[kawaiikichi]

Senpai (BKDK)

Hey, you guys! I have come with another BKDK one-shot. I happened to stumble upon a Nightcore video for Shiki’s “Senpai” and it featured none other than Bakugou, so this one-shot came to be.

I hope you guys like it! :D

Title: Senpai

Summary: After receiving an interesting gift from Eijirou, Katsuki reluctantly decides to test out the gift with Izuku. Things escalate from there.

One-Shot Notes: Izuku is 23 and Katsuki is 24; it’s Katsuki’s birthday in the one-shot

Warning: NSFW content; read at your own risk!

One-shot is under the cut!

Katsuki sat on the couch, burning holes into the gifts that sat atop the coffee table.

“Kacchan, you don’t need to glare at it so much...” he trailed off.

“I bet that every single one of those gifts are a bunch of useless shit. Everything except for yours, that is.” Katsuki said.

Izuku smiled.

“I’m glad my gift isn’t considered useless.” he said.

“Where is it, anyway?” Katsuki asked.

“Why don’t you look to your right?” Izuku asked.

“Huh? Look to my right?” Katsuki turned and saw that Izuku had stuck a present bow to himself.

“See? Your gift is right here.” he said.

Katsuki couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Damn, it really is.” he pulled Izuku into his arms. “Best gift ever.” he said.

Izuku giggled as Katsuki kissed the top of his head.

“Mmmm, you smell so good...makes me wanna make love to you right on this very couch.” Katsuki said.

“Kacchan...!” Izuku exclaimed as Katsuki nibbled on the shell of his ear.

He managed to wriggle out of the blond’s grasp as Katsuki laughed.

“Don’t worry, it won’t happen just yet.” he said, winking at him.

Izuku blushed as Katsuki grabbed for a big gift bag.

“Now, let’s see here...this is from Shitty Hair.” he said as he pulled the gift paper out and peeked inside.

A scowl immediately crossed his face.

“This piece of shit.” he bit out.

“Hm? Kacchan, what did Kirishima give you?” he asked.

“Something useless.” he replied as he chucked it behind the couch.

“Ah! Kacchan! Don’t chuck it!” Izuku whined as he got up and rushed over to the bag that Katsuki threw.

“Be glad I didn’t blast it yet. It’s going to get blasted once I’m done here.” Katsuki said.

Izuku picked the bag up and peeked inside.

“What the...” he pulled out the contents of it. “Is this a gakuran and a sailor uniform?” he asked.

Katsuki whirled around so fast that he almost got whiplash.

“Why the hell did you look inside the bag, Deku?!” he shouted.

“I was curious!” the clothes fell from Izuku’s hands. “Sorry...” he trailed off.

He moved to put the clothes back in the bag when a note slipped out from the pocket of the gakuran and onto the floor.

A note, he wondered to himself.

“Hey, Kacchan, there’s a note that came with the clothes.” he said.

“Well, don’t fucking read it.” Katsuki bit out as he reached for a gift box from Mina.

Izuku ignored his fuming boyfriend and proceeded to read the note that Eijirou had slipped into the gakuran.

Hey, Bakubro!

I got you this cosplay for you and Midoriya to try out. Who knows, maybe it’ll inspire you to be a little more adventurous with your sex life, wink wink.

-Kirishima

Izuku blushed furiously.

Be a little more adventurous with our sex lives?! Like, foreplay adventurous, he asked himself.

“K-K-Kacchan!” he stammered.

“What’s up, Deku?” Katsuki answered.

“Did Kirishima really buy this so that we could spice up our sex lives?!” he exclaimed.

“Wait, what?!” Katsuki turned around to look at Izuku. “I told you not to fucking read it, Deku!” he snapped.

“I couldn’t help it! I was curious!” Izuku glanced at the note. “But now I’m wondering...is our sex life really too vanilla?” he asked.

“No the hell it ain’t. Our sex life is just fine.” Katsuki said.

“I know, but...I can’t help but think about it...” Izuku trailed off.

He bit his lip.

“Maybe it really is too vanilla...” he murmured.

Katsuki looked at Izuku before sighing.

“Okay, fine! Fucking fine! Let’s try it.” he said.

“Huh?” Izuku questioned.

“The cosplay outfits! We’ll try it out...” Katsuki grumbled.

“We will?” Izuku asked.

“Yes, we fucking will! Now, go and get dressed. I’ll throw on the gakuran.” Katsuki told him.

“Okay!” Izuku responded as he picked up the sailor uniform and went off with it.

Katsuki sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“What the ever loving hell did I just get myself into...?”

🧡💚🧡💚

Katsuki stood in the bedroom, watching himself in the floor-length mirror.

He had on the gakuran that Eijirou got him, which was unbuttoned a little along with a white button-up shirt underneath, which was also unbuttoned a bit.

He scowled at his reflection.

I didn’t think I’d be wearing one of these again, he thought to himself as he began to think back on his middle school days when he used to wear one.

He then thought about Izuku, who also wore the same gakuran uniform back in their middle school days.

He was cute in that gakuran, he thought to himself.

He then shot a look at the bathroom door.

I wonder what he’s going to look like in that sailor uniform, he wondered to himself.

Just thinking about it was starting to make him horny.

He quickly looked away as the door opened and Izuku spoke.

“Um, Kacchan? I don’t know if it’s supposed to be this short on me or not...”

Katsuki turned and he nearly had his breath taken away.

Izuku stood by the door in a dark navy sailor uniform, the top cropped a little to give Katsuki a peek of his chest, the skirt so short that he was able to get a glimpse of everything down below, a red scarf, and knee-high black socks.

Katsuki felt his cock stand at attention at the sight.

Shit, he looks so sexy, he thought to himself.

Katsuki swallowed.

“It...looks fine to me.” he said.

Izuku blushed.

“So...how do we plan on doing this? Foreplay should be easy enough, right? All we have to do is assign each other roles and then we can get started...” he trailed off.

“Yeah, that’s about it.” Katsuki said.

He began to walk over to Izuku.

“So, imagine we’re in high school. The two of us are dating. And I,” he stopped before Izuku, bringing a finger under his chin and tilting his head up slightly, “am your senpai.” he spoke lowly.

Izuku seemed to shudder under his intense gaze.

“Kacchan...” he trailed off.

“Now, now, that’s not my name.” Katsuki’s other hand traveled down to Izuku’s ass. “What are you supposed to say, Deku?” he whispered as he groped his ass.

Izuku whimpered as Katsuki pulled him closer so that their chests were flush against one another.

“Tell me.” he whispered against Izuku’s lips.

“Okay...senpai.” Izuku said in a sultry voice as Katsuki captured his lips in a kiss.

The kiss was wet and sloppy, tongues and teeth clashing together. Izuku moaned against Katsuki’s mouth as Katsuki groped him more. He then moved his hands to his thighs and he lifted Izuku up. Izuku’s legs wrapped themselves around his torso as Katsuki carried him over to the bed. Their clothed, hardened cocks pressed and rubbed against each other, making both of them moan in unison.

“Mmmm...sen...pai...” Izuku moaned as Katsuki set him down on the bed.

The blond climbed on top of Izuku, straddling his hips.

“Yes, Deku?” he answered.

“K...Kacchan-senpai...” Izuku reached up to loop his arms over Katsuki’s shoulders. “Senpai, I want you...I need you...” he panted out.

“I know you do.” Katsuki replied before moving in to attack Izuku’s neck.

Izuku’s back arched, a moan falling from his lips as Katsuki nipped and suckled on his neck, leaving behind hickies. He moved down and pushed his shirt up, revealing Izuku’s pert nipples. He circled one with his tongue before enclosing his mouth over it, sucking on it. Izuku moaned as Katsuki’s tongue swirled around it. He would occasionally flick it, making Izuku squirm and groan under him. His toes curled and uncurled with each flick Katsuki delivered to his nipple.

He swapped nipples, giving that one the same treatment. Katsuki’s hand traveled up Izuku’s thigh and dipped under the skirt, cupping Izuku’s hardened erection in his hand. Izuku groaned, bucking his hips into Katsuki’s hand.

“Senpai...!” he whined.

Katsuki tugged on Izuku’s nipple as he rolled his eyes up to meet Izuku’s, which were filled with lust.

“Yes, Deku? Is there something you want?” he asked.

Izuku nodded in response.

“Oh? Like what?” Katsuki asked as he squeezed his erection lightly.

Izuku whimpered, bucking his hips up more.

“Senpai, don’t tease me like this.” he said.

“But I’m not teasing you. I really have no clue what you want.” Katsuki said.

He withdrew from Izuku’s nipple and moved in towards his ear.

“What do you want, my precious Deku?” he asked.

He continued his ministrations, reveling in the whimpers and whines that escaped Izuku’s plush lips. His cheeks were tinted red as Katsuki began to lick the shell of his ear. He then began to drag his tongue along each curve and dip of  Izuku’s ear, making him shudder at the sensation.

“Tell me or else I can’t help you.” he purred.

“Your...your mouth! Put your mouth...around my cock. Put your mouth around it, senpai...” Izuku breathed out.

“Oh...that’s you wanted? You should’ve told me before.” Katsuki cooed teasingly.

He kissed Izuku’s ear before moving down and pulling Izuku’s boxers off of him. Izuku’s cock stood up proudly, the tip leaking pre-cum and staining the skirt. Katsuki’s head disappeared under the skirt and he brought the tip of Izuku’s cock into his mouth.

Izuku moaned as Katsuki licked at the pre-cum leaking out. He then moved lower, bringing more of Izuku into him. He swirled his tongue around Izuku’s erection, feeling the veins against his tongue. Moan after moan fell from Izuku’s lips as he hooked his legs over Katsuki’s shoulders, wrapping them around his neck and trapping him there.

“Shit.” he tapped Izuku’s thigh, hoping he would loosen up. Izuku complied, legs dangling loosely from Katsuki’s shoulder.

“Good Deku.” he spoke against Izuku’s cock, making him groan from above him.

“Oh, senpai...suck me harder...” he moaned out.

Katsuki chuckled.

“You’ve always liked it hard.” he said as he bobbed his head up and down. He would occasionally deepthroat him, which would make Izuku moan loudly.

“Shit, senpai...! I...I’m going to cum! Oh, I’m going to cum!” Izuku cried out.

“Cum, then.” Katsuki said.

He sucked faster and harder, moving back up and flicking the tip with his tongue. Izuku let out a loud cry as he came, spurting streams of white into Katsuki’s mouth. Katsuki stroked him quickly, more white streams coming out from the tip. Katsuki rose his head, looking at Izuku’s flushed face and lust-filled eyes. He swallowed Izuku’s cum, making sure that his boyfriend was watching him.

“Mmmm, tastes good. I love the way you taste, Deku.” Katsuki reached up and began to pop open his gakuran and white button-up shirt, revealing his built and chiseled chest. “Now, how about you satisfy your senpai?” he suggested.

He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. As if on instinct, Izuku pulled his slacks down along with his boxer briefs to reveal his hardened cock, which stood flush against his stomach. He began peppering kisses up the underside of his cock, eventually reaching the leaking tip. He kissed the tip, listening to Katsuki hiss. Then, he rolled his eyes up to lock eyes with Katsuki before engulfing the tip in his mouth. He sucked on it lightly, his eyes trained on Katsuki’s changing facial expressions all the while.

“Fuck, Deku...shit, you’re so hot...” he panted out.

Izuku went down on him, taking more of Katsuki’s cock in his mouth. He brought his hand up to stroke what he couldn’t take into his mouth, moaning onto his length. This made Katsuki groan.

“Shit.” he said as he bucked his hips.

Izuku gasped at the sudden thrust. He stared up at Katsuki in surprise.

“Senpai?” he questioned, pulling away from Katsuki’s cock.

Katsuki bit his lip.

“Fuck, Deku, I didn’t say you could fucking stop.” he said before bringing his cock back into Izuku’s mouth. He fisted his hands in Izuku’s hair and began to fuck his mouth. Izuku moaned against his cock as he continued thrusting in and out.

“Shit...” Katsuki lolled his head backward, staring up at the ceiling with half-lidded red eyes. “Your mouth feels so good around my cock. Keep taking more of my cock, Deku.” he said.

Izuku moaned, letting the taste of Katsuki flood his senses. Eventually, his thrusts began to grow jerky and irregular. He stared at Katsuki as he groaned.

“Oh, fuck, I’m going to cum.” he said.

Izuku felt Katsuki’s hands drop from his hair and he immediately withdrew from his cock, taking it into his hand and stroking it fast and hard.

“Come on, cum all over me.” Izuku positioned himself accordingly. “Paint your face with my cum, senpai.” he spoke in a sultry voice.

Katsuki grunted as he came, streams of white coating Izuku’s face. Some dropped onto his tongue. Izuku helped his boyfriend ride out his orgasm, stroking him more and more. Katsuki panted harshly as he stared down at Izuku, who gazed up at him lustfully.

“You came all over me...” he swallowed, reaching up to swipe at some cum on his cheek. “You painted my face with your cum, senpai...” he spoke seductively.

Katsuki, stared, feeling his dick twitch at the sight.

Fuck, he’s so hot, he thought to himself.

“Fuck, Deku, why do you have to be so fucking hot?” he asked as he pounced him, pinning him to the bed.

He lapped at Izuku’s face before venturing down to his lips, capturing them in a rough kiss. Izuku moaned loudly against Katsuki’s mouth as Katsuki parted his lips, letting Izuku’s tongue dart in. He tasted the blond’s cum in his mouth, which stirred something from within him. As he dragged his tongue along his teeth, he felt himself growing hard once more.

I need him to fuck me, Izuku thought to himself.

“Mmm, senpai.” he moaned out.

“Yes, Deku?” Katsuki answered.

Izuku pulled away from their kiss, their lips brushing against one another.

“Fuck me.” he whispered.

“I will.” Katsuki pecked his lips. “But, I need to prep you before I do that.” he said.

He climbed off of Izuku and reached to open the nightstand drawer, digging through it. Then, he pulled out a pack of condoms along with a bottle of lube.

“There we go...” he trailed off, popping the bottle cap off and pouring some lube into his hand. He coated his fingers in it and he brought them to Izuku’s puckered entrance, tracing circles around it. Izuku mewled, pushing his hips against Katsuki’s fingers.

“Patience, Deku, patience. Good things come to those that wait.” Katsuki spoke teasingly.

He continued like this for a couple more minutes before pushing a finger in. Izuku squirmed under him as Katsuki began to thrust his finger in and out.

“Senpai...” he moaned out.

He released another moan as Katsuki plunged another finger inside of him. 

“You like that?” Katsuki asked as he began to scissor him.

Izuku nodded.

“Yes, senpai...” he panted out.

Katsuki leaned in and kissed him again, their moans creating a harmonious symphony along with the slurping of their tongues. Katsuki continued thrusting his fingers in and out of him, listening to IZuku moan against his mouth. Then, he curled his fingers and the tips of his fingers brushed against something.

“Ah!” Izuku gasped, back arching.

“I must have hit a really good spot, didn’t I, Deku?” Katsuki asked.

He began to massage it with his fingers, making Izuku squirm under him. Moans and loud cries fell from Izuku’s lips as he neared his climax.

“S-Senpai! Mmm...Kacchan...” Izuku stared up at Katsuki, who pulled away from the kiss. “I’m going to cum...” he choked out.

“Are you?” Katsuki asked.

Izuku nodded.

“Let me cum, senpai...mmm, let me cum...!” Izuku cried out.

“I would love to...” Katsuki’s lips hovered over Izuku’s ear. “But, I think it’s time you get something...bigger.” he said.

He pulled his fingers out of Izuku, making Izuku whine. He pouted, staring at Katsuki as he tore open a condom and rolled it over his hardened cock. Then, he coated it in lube before positioning it against Izuku’s entrance.

“Now, relax, Deku.” he said.

Izuku looked up at Katsuki, bringing his arms around his neck as Katsuki began to push in. Izuku sucked in a gasp, eyes wide.

“Ohhhh...” Katsuki began to fill him. “Senpai...” he trailed off.

Katsuki stared down at Izuku and noticed the tears that were budding at the corners of his eyes. He kissed them away as he continued to push in. He was fully sheathed a couple of minutes later.

“Senpai...please make sure you go slow first...” Izuku trailed off.

“No promises there, Deku. You just feel so good around me. I don’t think I can resist.” Katsuki replied.

He pulled almost all the way out before ramming back into Izuku. He let out a cry as Katsuki continued to thrust in and out of him. He quickly picked up speed, the bed creaking and jerking about violently. Moans and grunts filled the room as Katsuki rammed into him. He picked Izuku’s leg up and brought it over his shoulder, listening to Izuku moan loudly.

“Oh! Senpai...you’re so deep inside me...!” he cried out.

“You fucking like it when I’m deep inside of you, don’t you, Deku? Watching me fuck you nice and deep like this, all dressed up in a sailor uniform...you’re quite the slut, aren’t you, Deku?” Katsuki asked.

Izuku moaned.

“Yes...! Oh yes, I’m Kacchan’s slut...” he moaned out.

“Don’t you mean you’re Senapi’s slut, Deku?” Katsuki asked, nipping at Izuku’s calf.

Izuku moaned as Katsuki left hickies and bite marks all over his calf and thigh. Then, his back arched upon Katsuki nailing his prostate.

“Found it again.” he said, a grin pulling at his lips as he continued to thrust in and out, hitting Izuku’s sweet spot every time.

“Oh...Oh, senpai...” Izuku panted, swearing that he was seeing stars with each thrust that Katsuki delivered to his sweet spot.

Katsuki reached down and he began to stroke Izuku’s cock with his free hand, making him cry out.

“Mmm, Kacchan! Fucking shit, Kacchan! It feels so fucking good, oh my god!” he screamed.

“Wow, you sure have quite a vulgar mouth, Deku. Didn’t know you had it in you to start dropping f bombs like nobody’s business.” Katsuki remarked.

“It’s only with you, Kacchan. Only with you—Shit! Oh my god, I’m getting close!” Izuku moaned out.

“Good. Let me be the only one to fuck you up like this. Only I can pleasure you like this. And also,” he leaned in so that he was towering over Izuku, “what are you supposed to be calling me?” he asked.

“Senpai...senpai...!” Izuku’s body spasmed as he came. His walls tightened around Katsuki, making his thrusts jerky.

“Fuck...!” Katsuki bit out as he came.

They both panted harshly as Katsuki rode out his orgasm. Katsuki withdrew, reaching down and swiping up some of Izuku’s cum with his thumb. He licked it off seductively.

“You taste really good.” Katsuki pulled out of Izuku. “Just looking at you covered in your own cum is turning me on again.” he said.

He took of the condom, tied it up, and tossed it in the nearby trash bin as his cock stood up proudly once more.

“A...Again...?” Izuku panted out.

“Well, I don’t see your dick complaining, Deku. Also, you can’t say no to senpai.” Katsuki told him.

Izuku laughed.

“I guess you’re right.” he said.

“Now, turn around and get on all fours. I’m going to fuck you from behind.” Katsuki said.

Izuku complied, turning and getting on all fours on the bed. Katsuki flipped the skirt up and reached to tear open another condom packet. He rolled the condom on and coated himself with lube before teasing Izuku’s entrance with the tip. Izuku mewled as he looked over his shoulder at Katsuki.

“Senpai, don’t tease.” he chided.

“I do what I damn please. If I wanna tease you, then I will.” Katsuki shot back.

He pushed Izuku’s shirt up and he peppered his back with kisses, nipping at it occasionally. Izuku whined as he wiggled his hips, pressing his entrance against Katsuki’s cock.

“Someone’s being needy.” Katsuki commented.

Izuku whined once more, which made Katsuki chuckle.

“Well, not like I’m complaining, though.” he said before pushing the tip into Izuku.

Izuku moaned as Katsuki began to fill him up.

“Mmm, senpai...senpai’s inside me...” he trailed off.

“Damn right, I am. And you’re going to love every second of it.” Katsuki said.

He placed his hands on Izuku’s hips and he began to thrust in and out of him. Izuku moaned at the feeling of Katsuki inside of him.

“Go harder, Senpai.” Izuku demanded.

“What, you’re ordering me around now?” he rammed into Izuku, making him yelp. “Who said you could order your senpai around? Huh?” Katsuki asked as he began pounding into Izuku.

Loud moans fell from Izuku’s lips as Katsuki pounded into him harder and deeper. Katsuki leaned over him, nipping at his back.

“Mmm, senpai...” Izuku moaned out.

Katsuki grinned as he continued. He nailed Izuku’s sweet spot moments later, making Izuku’s head snap up as he cried out.

“Shit! Oh my god, hit me there again, senpai!” he exclaimed.

“Fucking shit, Deku...” Katsuki grunted as he nailed Izuku’s prostate with each thrust.

Drool began to dribble down the sides of Izuku’s mouth and stars dotted his vision. He began moaning and babbling incoherently as his hardened cock brushed against the sheets.

Oh my god, this feels so good. My cock is rubbing against the sheets and Kacchan is hitting my sweet spot...I feel like I’ve ascended to heaven, Izuku thought to himself.

“Mmm, Kacchan...Kacchan—” Katsuki fisted his hand in Izuku’s hair and yanked his face towards his own, their lips coming together in a bruising kiss.

Izuku moaned loudly against Katsuki’s mouth as the blond forced his mouth open, plunging his tongue inside. Their tongues swirled and danced with each other, saliva dripping from the corners of their mouths. Katsuki pulled away from the kiss, staring into Izuku’s lust-filled eyes.

“Fuck, you keep breaking character, Deku.” he shoved Izuku’s face into the pillow. “I am your fucking senpai! Remember that, Deku!” he shouted.

He kept his fingers fisted in Izuku’s hair, pinning his head down to the pillow as he continued thrusting into him. Izuku moaned and cried out into the pillow, the word “senpai” continuously falling from his lips.

“Fuck, Deku, you’re tightening around me...!” Katsuki bit out as Izuku’s walls began pulsing around his cock.

“Senpai...senpai, shit, I’m going to cum...!” Izuku cried out.

He gripped the pillow tighter, his knuckles turning white. Katsuki hovered over his body completely, proceeding to pepper his neck with kisses. Then, he bit down into the junction where Izuku’s neck and shoulder met. Izuku screamed, his orgasm knocking into him with full force.

He trembled as streams of white coated his stomach and the bedsheets. He moaned lowly as he bucked his hips against Katsuki’s cock, riding out his orgasm.

“Fucking...shit...!” Katsuki breathed out against the nape of Izuku’s neck.

He came soon after, thrusts jerky as he rode out his climax. Izuku moaned as Katsuki’s hold on his hair grew slack. He slowly rose his head as his legs gave out. Katsuki grabbed for him before he could collapse onto the bed.

“Shit, don’t collapse on me, Deku.” he stated.

He pulled out and took off the condom, tying a knot at the top and tossing it. Then, he reached for Izuku, pulling him onto his lap. Izuku slung his arms over Katsuki’s shoulders, staring into his red eyes.

“Senpai...” he murmured.

“You don’t need to call me that anymore. The foreplay is over now.” Katsuki said.

“Okay then...” Izuku smiled. “Kacchan—” he was cut off by Katsuki pulling him closer, their lips coming together in a kiss.

Compared to the kisses they shared not too long ago, this one was sweet and chaste. Their lips melded together as Katsuki kissed him gently. The blond’s hands moved to rest on Izuku’s back, stroking it softly. He licked at Izuku’s lips, asking for entrance. Izuku complied, parting his lips so that Katsuki’s tongue could slip inside. Izuku moaned as Katsuki dragged his tongue along his teeth, seemingly memorizing each dip and curve of his teeth. He ran it along the roof of his mouth before proceeding to stroke Izuku’s tongue with his own. Izuku’s tongue batted at Katsuki’s playfully and their tongues soon began to dance with one another in a slow tango.  

Izuku smiled as Katsuki pulled away.

“Kacchan...the foreplay was actually pretty fun...” he trailed off.

He pressed a lazy kiss to the blond’s cheek.

“Thank you for agreeing to do it with me, Kacchan...” he murmured before dropping his head onto Katsuki’s shoulder. 

“Oi, Deku, don’t just go dropping your head on my shoulder.” Katsuki said as he looked down at his boyfriend.

That was when he realized that Izuku had fallen asleep.

“Oi, Deku. Wake up.” he nudged him, but that did little to wake Izuku up. “Come on, Deku, get up.” he said.

However, Izuku refused to stir from the slumber he had fallen into.

“Come on, Deku, wake up! We need to take a fucking shower, goddammit!”

🧡💚🧡💚

“So! How’d you like my gift, Bakugou?” Eijirou asked, seating himself at the bar counter in the kitchen the next day.

“Why the fuck would you want to know, Shitty Hair?” Katsuki barked out.

“Because I’m curious! I wanna know if you used it effectively~” Eijirou said, winking at Katsuki as he said that.

Katsuki snarled as he slammed a glass of water down before him.

“Drink your damn water and die, dipshit.” he bit out.

Just then, Izuku came out from their bedroom in a lemonade yellow sweater with a wide scoop neck, black jeans, and a pair of All Might socks.

“Oh! Kirishima, you’re here!” Izuku exclaimed.

“Oh!” Eijirou turned in his seat to look at Izuku. “Hey, Eijirou!” he chirped.

Katsuki looked over at Izuku and gawked once he saw what he had on.

“This adorable little nerd...” he growled out, explosions erupting from his hand.

As soon as Izuku was about a few feet away, he grabbed Izuku’s wrist and yanked him over to him.

“What the hell are you wearing?!” he shouted.

“What?! I’m just wearing some comfy clothes!” Izuku whined.

“With such a wide scoop neck cut?! It’s showing off everything!” he snapped.

“It’s not showing off that much, Kacchan!” Izuku shot back.

As they continued to bicker, Eijirou glanced at Izuku, mentally noting the hickies and bite marks that covered his neck and collarbone. He couldn’t help but grin.

Seems like it did work, after all.

[supernoondles]

2019

The last day of 2019 was also the day I fainted for the first time--a fitting metaphor for the year.

2019 was overall very emotionally taxing. This year was emotionally defined by falling intensely, deeply in love with someone (who is a very private person so I will try to be vague to respect that) and being in a lot of pain because of situations mostly outside of our control. There were a lot of intensely joyous moments, and a lot of intensely sad ones. Throughout it all I wish I had communicated better. I also made some bad decisions with another person I really loved and cared about that resulted in us growing apart. Do I think I grew from the experiences? For sure. Do I wish I could have come upon these realizations through a different course of action? Also yes. Am I fully healed from the experiences? Not really, but I've been getting better.

2019 was also very bad in terms of research. It was the 2nd year of my PhD. After I submitted my rotation project I basically felt stuck in the swamp of my advisors rejecting new project ideas for like literally half a year. This, combined with my high emotional volatility (partially due to starting birth control), made me really sad, unmotivated, and susceptible to self-blame. I definitely had high expectations for myself and became frustrated at my lack of progress and felt a lot of pressure from myself to get my shit together. I also felt incredibly bad after most advisor meetings and not supported by one of them to the point where I had to have a conversation with him about the lack of support (which was very scary)! Things started picking up, though, near the end of the year. I published a paper in collaboration with a former post-doc/now professor elsewhere whom I learned a lot from, and started finally building out another system. I also started mentoring an undergrad who at some point told me I helped him feel like he had something important to say and belong at Stanford for the first time and those words meant a lot to me. I think I'm continuing to refine what I value as research contributions and increasingly think about what it means to build systems that aren't used outside of the lab to satisfy the annual conference publishing cycle. I'm also starting to feel the pressure of doing work that follows a narrative rather than random projects that interest me.

Oh, I guess in terms of "program requirements," I did finish taking required classes, passed qualifying exams, and got a master's degree. But honestly those weren't hard at all nor do I think are externally valued in the larger research community, so I don't really celebrate them as accomplishments beyond surface level.

In 2019 I saw two different therapists. The first one was awful, I think directly influenced some of my bad decisions, and also didn't respect my gender identity??? The second one is a lot better and I'm grateful to see her, even if 90% of our sessions are just talking about my relationship (romantic/advisor) issues, which is something I want to move away from in the future. But I also feel incredibly privileged when relationship issues are the primary stressors in my life--I am grateful I feel equipped to handle other crap, like deadlines, and don't have to worry about my own health.

Those were the main things that have colored this year. We'll now move into the section of this post where I go through my photos to jog my memory of other events.

New years started a tradition of getting dim sum with Jasper, Matthew, and Michelle dear to my heart. My high school friend was also visiting and we all attended a really awesome new year's eve party. I was also going on a lot of dates and having a lot of good sex, which made me really happy, and at the same time crying all the time at work. In February I received probably the best gift anyone has ever given me and saw Panic! at the Disco, which I said in an end of the year group meeting was a good memory of my year (it was, to relive my scene days!). In March I roadtripped both to Marin (which I had never to been before, despite all my years in the bay) and LA for Wondercon; it was nice to both see high school friends and go on a trip with the boo. In April I went on a hike with my office which was probably the start of us all becoming closer (we are the social office in the wing now, which I take pride in! Also we draw a lot of Pokemon which warms my heart). In May I went to CHI in Glasgow and then to Paris afterward, and the entire experience was very weird and bad and also too many flights were canceled and/or missed and I vowed to not return to Europe for a while, but man do I love the noodles at Trois Fois plus de Piment. In June we hosted a double apartment party with my downstairs neighbors (side note: I am really appreciative of the place I live in, for the community, convenience, and large-ass space and will be really sad to be kicked out fall 2020) and I started a friendship important to me. I cat-sat for my advisor (the one who doesn't make me feel bad) twice. I went to Redwood State Park with my family and hosted a summer solstice celebration. Over the summer a friend I met in Paris back in 2017 moved in with me. I had a much needed escape from the bay to Seattle where I was reminded how abundant the world can be. I also went to Tahoe to celebrate my parents' anniversary, and really liked stumbling upon a smaller lake with a cheap boat rental. Then I became FOMO about the highly competitive Bay Area camping and did a last minute walk-in at Redwood Basin in Santa Cruz, which made me realize that I don't actually love camping (but was nice nonetheless). I ate an expensive meal at Commonwealth before they closed. For my birthday we made a friendship quilt and I served my favorite dish of cumin lamb but it was also 90 degrees in my apartment (I felt really bad and bought two fans afterwards). I started buying many cartoon frog plush after being gifted a $3.99 on sale Safeway frog (called Baby!). I went on Tinder dates (one of which was at a quaker yard sale marketed as Harvest Festival where I got a 1970s Kermit puppet for like $2) that largely went nowhere. My high school friend visited and we were both sad about break ups. I did Inktober before I went to New Orleans for a conference on Bourbon St where everything felt like it was coated in a sticky film of alcohol. I almost missed my flight home because I fell asleep in a sculpture garden but I had the most amazing Uber driver who snaked his way through traffic (oh and the flight was delayed by like 3 hours). I went to kind of embarrassing haunted houses and pumpkin patches over Halloween, but also had the most incredible bowl of ramen at Mensho. My whole office dressed up as Zootopia characters which warmed my furry heart. I spent like $120 on a Pokemon shirt. I started playing Arkham Horror and rekindled another friendship important to me. In November went on a road trip to Big Sur because again, I had to escape it all. For Christmas Eve dinner I roasted a duck for the first time (which was delicious). Shortly after I waited in line for 2 hours for a rollercoaster at Great America, which taught me the value of buying a fast pass because at this point in my life that money is worth it, and then waited 2 hours in line at the DMV to get a RealID (I had made an appointment, which was the fast pass).

Okay, now we move to the hobby section!

I got really into sewing in 2019, having received a sewing machine last Christmas. I made a Judy Hopps (which I wore to CrunchyRoll Expo) and Korok cosplay (Fanime), several unsuccessful garments, a crab bean bag, a dice bag, a fanny pack, and put hearts nipples on a jumpsuit.

Shows! I think I went to way fewer shows this year. The ones I can remember are Elephant Gym, Thom Yorke the night before I had an 8am flight, Carly Rae Jepsen over pride weekend (also, she is my #1 artist of the year, which makes a lot of sense given my emotional space), Mitski at Stern Grove, Capitol Hill Bloc Party (which was super lame, except for Lizzo, where I cried), and the National (which was a fucking surreal experience as they played on Stanford's campus, I was the only one within earshot of myself who knew the words to Crybaby Geeks, and then the white catalog moms came up to me after to thank me for singing the song).

I also started playing my own music! I started playing viola again for the first time in 7 years (lol) in both pop-up concerts with the Awesome Orchestra (one in Golden Gate Park, one at the Exploratorium) and a string quartet through my school. Sometimes I am filled with joy and delight. Other times interpersonal tensions run high and also I am very bad at being in tune. It's life.

Media! I really liked Mob Psycho 100 Season 2 and Beastars. I feel like those were the only notable anime I watched this year? I saw the Farewell three times--first in Seattle where I sobbed for like 1 hour after the movie, the second time with my parents, and the third where Awkwafina was present for a Q&A. I thought Parasite was incredible and Promare was OK. I have spent an unfortunately large amount of my time playing Pokemon Masters. I finally beat BOTW and completed my Pokedex in Shield like 2 weeks after getting the game.

Resolutions! In my draft of my 2018 end of year post (which I never polished and posted, sorry), I said my resolutions were 1. come out to my parents 2. draw enough to table at an anime con 3. be disciplined about paper reading and have a doc. I did none of these things!!! However, for 1, I feel like I am well equipped to have this conversation but am waiting for my sibling to do it first out of respect. 2 was just bad. I barely drew this year except for gifts. 3 was okay--I did have a large doc in the beginning of the year when I was looking for ideas, but as time went on I abandoned it (I also stopped reading papers, which I don't think you're supposed to do as a grad student...)

My resolutions this year are phrased as intentions (-(c) Matthew). They span several categories. Relationships: I want to open myself to and actively seek experiences of love, because I miss that. That being said, I will only date someone if 1. they have their life together 2. they love themselves and 3. they challenge me to grow. (I do think you can experience love without dating; the thing I'm after is love in an expansive sense.) Work: I want to do enough work so I don't feel guilty about not doing enough work, and also not berate myself for taking a long time to do things. Hobbies: I want to sew at least one thing a month. Chinese: I want to improve my Chinese, especially pronunciation.

Having written this 20 days into 2020, it's not been so bad so far. But I was also really happy in the beginning of 2019. Here's to no global maxima, a monotonically increasing year!