#chapter notes

[mothfables]

i started on the next agere! legend ficlet, and decided it would be The Chain + Thunderstorm! here’s a sneak peak:

Twilight pulled the hood of his pelt over his head only to pause. Something felt off. He did a quick headcount; all of the usual trouble makers - Wild, Hyrule, and Wind - were ahead, eagerly searching for someplace to take shelter from the rain. The others were trudging along as well as they could.

Everything seemed fine. He continued walking.

…Wait. Someone was missing.

The rancher stopped in his tracks to count again. Wind, Wild, Hyrule- that was three. Time and Wars in their armor, glancing worriedly up at the sky, five. Sky holding his sailcloth over an unhappy Four. Seven. He made eight.

…Where was the Vet?

Twilight glanced around, trying to spot his missing brother. He turned and- oh.

Legend stood frozen in the middle of the road, hands clasped over his ears and eyes shut tight. Thunder boomed again and Twilight watched as he flinched, curling into himself with a barely-audible whimper.

[amelikos]

Countdown to the announcement on March 14 (day 7, day 6).

[abridgetoofour]

Sometimes I just gotta talk to the characters when I'm making notes 😅 Excuse the shitty scribbled out bit, spoilers!

Am I going to include at least a little bit of Hoid in every Stormlight fic I write, like my stories are part of the damn Cosmere and he needs to be there? Yes. Yes I am. 🥰

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Making of "Locomotive Run" and "Destruction"

As requested, some insight into my writing process. This is just how I write the WotQ chapters, and it works for me. Whatever works for you is the "correct" way of writing!

I'll talk about each general writing step, but as I also talk about the chapters (with a lot of "what could have been"s!), it's better to have read them first. I initially only wanted to focus on Destruction, but as I suffered through Locomotive Run so much, I decided to use it as an example too. (I also mention other chapters a bit as well.)

As always, this post is a bit messy, sorry!

Step 0: Outline

Unlike the first three arcs, I thoroughly outlined this current one before I wrote it. Previously, my outlines consisted of only a few short sentences – if at all^^’ Take the first arc:

If I had died halfway through the arc, no one would have been able to finish it for me orz Absolutely nothing on the actual mission in that outline! The third arc ended up, I think, a bit disjointed too because I still hadn’t done any proper outlines at that time (I did outlines for some of its chapters, but not for the complete arc). It was mostly only a few descriptive sentences and some random snippets, all hot-glued vaguely in my mind.

With this arc, I decided to take outlining seriously because I wanted to include A LOT in this arc, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out a way to make everything fit otherwise.

I write my outlines by hand because I think that’s easier to do, it’s nicer to “brainstorm” with pen and paper for me, and I can place the paper next to me as I write the chapter instead of switching documents all the time on my laptop. The paper can become rather messy though if a lot is going on. (That was the case for Nebulous, uff.) Because of the very finicky nature of the “village fight” chapters, I outlined that bit in a Word document too, so it was easier to shift around the times and events; doing that on a piece of paper would have rendered it quite illegible…

My outlines are not super extensive or lengthy though. I just fold a piece of paper, dedicate one half to one chapter, and write down bullet points of all the important things I want to/have to include in that particular chapter. I try to put them in sequence too, but it’s basically just a somewhat disjointed list of key events and nothing more.

For Locomotive Run, the list of stuff that needs/should be in it looked a bit like this:

Finding them on the train

They get Florentin back

Milton gets the box; bargain with Yvette to exchange the box for Jacques

Kamden gets attacked

Milton protects Newman by grabbing the dagger (Yvette got her hands on it before)

Cedric gets thrown off the train

Townsend and Yvette separate the locomotive from the wagons

Braking and the engine catches fire

Helping people on the train

Hurrying to the Paris train station

Chaos in Paris?!

And for Destruction, it looked a bit like this:

Chaos at the station; Quentin got hurt, and Kamden helps him

How to find Yvette and Townsend now?? -> the transmitters

Aurèle, Kamden, and Jacques go to Cecelia’s house

Cloudia goes after Yvette

Milton and Cedric go after Townsend (previously, Cedric was meant to go with Cloudia, but I thought it was better to split them up so that they could communicate via the necklaces; I also needed a POV character with Milton)

Milton and Cedric catch Townsend

Oscar arrives

Milton faints

Oscar brings Milton and Townsend to Cecelia’s house

Cedric teleports to Cloudia (with the necklaces’ help)

Chaotic fight -> Yvette stabs Cloudia

Cedric brings Cloudia to Cecelia’s house

(I cannot show pictures of the outlines, sorry!)

I keep the outlines for the flashback bits on separate papers (with the two flashback storylines kept separate too, of course) to oversee them better because they need to fit together amongst themselves after all and not with the main storyline. For Affection, they were “Barrington visits without notice and gets mad” and “Cloudia talks to Cecelia and meets up with Kamden.” For Locomotive Run, it was “Oscar’s hate for Rowan,” and for Destruction, they were “Cloudia meets with Rowan and AoE meeting -> Oscar is now more hostile to Barrington” and “Cloudia disguises herself and goes to Salisbury HQ; they meet up and talk.”

With how skeletal my outlines are, I think, if I were to die, still no one would be able to figure out what exactly I mean/want to do with my bullet points^^’ But they wouldn’t be as lost as before, at least. Hurrah?

When I have the outline, I begin to write.

Step 1: Draft

Writing the first draft can either take several days or several months for me to complete, as you know^^’ I finished Mystery in three days (draft and revision), but that was a comparatively “short” chapter. There was a gap of seven months between Ecstasy and Locomotive Run orz

Finishing the draft is important, no matter how teeth-clenching and hair-pulling it is, no matter how long it takes. I need to get it done or nothing can continue.

Reading the above bullet points, I’m sure you were a bit puzzled by some things. No worries, your memory hasn’t worsened! Things just change between each step.

For example, I (re-)outlined all chapters in one or two days. That was a few years ago by now! Going through the arc’s events in my head again and again in that time span, I get new ideas, switch things around, and discard others. And while writing the chapters, things get changed too. After all, I have no set plan for how to get from bullet point to bullet point; I just fill out the gaps as I go, and sometimes I realise that things don’t work out as I planned them while I write a chapter. Or writing the chapter just leads me elsewhere unexpectedly. Or the word count gets super long and I have to split it last-minute (e.g. Affection and Locomotive Run). Or I realise things while writing that make me have to reconsider things. Etc.

Locomotive Run is (one of) the “things didn’t work out as I wanted them to” chapters because, as I already cried in that chapter’s notes, train logistics are just awful to figure out orz That doesn’t mean nothing worked out as I wanted to (you can recognise stuff from the above outline after all), of course.

For example, the attack on Kamden was scrapped because there was no way it could fit into Locomotive Run. I would have to make him move through the train for that after all, and there were already too many people moving around, and I doubt Kamden would have even managed that. Having him attacked in the starter wagon wouldn’t work either because I needed him to be alone for that attack and for Milton to be the one who saves him in a particular way; otherwise, that incident would lose its purpose. So, I had to push it back to Destruction and have Kamden get attacked outside the train instead.

Cedric was also meant to see Milton grabbing the dagger to protect Newman, but that didn’t work out logistically either, and he could only start seeing the scene unfold at a slightly later time point (Milton attacking Yvette).

Florentin ended up not being in that chapter at all because it shouldn’t be that easy to get him or the box(es) after all! Florentin also had to stick to Townsend who was always meant to be in the locomotive; they would have never had an opportunity to get him beforehand.

The chapter was also meant to end with the characters realising that something is going on in Paris, as they were always supposed to arrive there at around 12 a.m. (the time when the Uprising started). It wouldn’t make sense for the city’s chaos to become noticeable for them that early though, and ending the chapter with “just” an explosion and a chase was enough already.

The box replica was a very last-minute idea I had while struggling through Locomotive Run’s first draft. I was a bit unsure whether to include it or not (was it too much? would it work? etc.), but I tried to make it work – and it did in the end! Without the replica, there would have been no proper reason to go after Yvette after all, as she’s not the mission’s target.

Between outlining and writing Destruction, a lot had changed. (I usually don’t bother updating my written outline then, only my “internal” one.)

I didn’t consider Cloudia’s special corset when I decided for Yvette to stab Cloudia. I wrote Ecstasy, dressed Cloudia in that corset, and went “dammit!” The corset would have protected her from a knife; to injure Cloudia as much as I wanted her to, Yvette would have to stab her from above, hitting the part that wasn’t protected by the corset. And that would have been a bit too close to Cloudia’s heart! The solution was to switch out the knife wound with a bullet wound because the corset was never meant to be bulletproof. (And that’s why I pointed just that out in the tags here, hehe.)

Cloudia’s corset is based on the titular item of The Girl with the Steel Corset. For that reason, I sometimes catch myself thinking of it as a “steel corset” when it’s not. I ensured there would be no (accidental) mention of the special corset as a steel corset, so no one could get at me with “why isn’t it bulletproof then??”

I had also finalised some stuff regarding Milton in the meantime. Because of that, it would have been near impossible for him to chase down Townsend mostly on his own. I also wanted Cloudia to be the one after all, especially with how the second part of that chase ends. Further, Milton was meant to have two radio receivers and distribute them between himself (with Cedric) and Cloudia. Unlike in the finished chapter where he can’t tell which dot is for which transmitter, he would have known which receiver was connected to which transmitter (he had handed them out after all). Purposefully giving Cloudia the receiver for Yvette while keeping Townsend for himself was also a very un-Milton thing to do. (He would have to be forced to do something like that.) Two receivers became one, and they all stayed together instead which fit the characters and the situation much better.

Barrington had to be included too, of course, as he wouldn’t leave Oscar unsupervised unless absolutely necessary.

Cedric didn’t reach Cecelia’s house with Cloudia in the end because leaving them stranded ended up being the better decision in the end.^^

Further, as I said earlier, I fill out the gaps between key events as I write. For example, the “building jump” was thrown in as I wrote the chapter. (I wrote the last uh 6k, 7k words or so of the main timeline at once because I was on a kick, so if the “building jump” part sounds a bit loopy, that’s the reason. You could call it method writing.) While this works fine for me, it also tends to run me against walls because I don’t know how to proceed.

For example, I knew that, in the 1846 flashback, Cloudia would go and see Milton in the Salisbury HQ. I wrote out that part a few years ago, actually. I didn’t, however, know beforehand what would come after Cloudia left that waiting room. I really struggled to figure out what they could talk about. Should I switch around the conversations (take something for later for this)? Or would that be an odd order?

And then I realised that I didn’t have to find a conversation after all because it felt so more fitting for Cloudia not to know either. She and Milton are both rather awkward in that aspect, and the situation is so weird after all. Of course, it would be odd! Of course, both of them wouldn’t really know what to say. And then I let them walk instead, and everything fell into place <3

I usually try writing a chapter from its beginning to its end, but I do jump between the three timelines if I find myself in a corner, unable to continue. I think, apart from starting the chapter, that conversation was the only major “blockage” I had while writing Destruction. I temporarily let it be and jumped to 1843 before I finally figured out the scene. Everything else flowed well, more or less.

When I finish the draft, I don’t usually start revisions right away. I take a day “off,” both to distance myself from the chapter to refill my energy and to think the chapter through in my head again. “Does this work?” “What can I change?” etc.

Step 2: First revision

The draft is always written with a “just get something done!!” mentality (though I do keep going back and revising after myself too). As a result, it will be rather jumbled and is never ready to be uploaded in that state. For example, I sometimes change ideas mid-draft or remember something I forgot mid-draft. I forgot to make Cloudia lose the dagger in the first draft of Locomotive Run. Still, she didn’t have it in the last parts of the chapter because I remembered halfway through that she wasn’t supposed to have it anymore and just kept writing without the dagger. I had to fix that mistake in the first revision round, or it would have been very confusing why she has it in one scene and not anymore in the next.

The checklist for first revisions is (more or less):

Fixing continuity errors within the chapter

Fixing continuity errors within the entire story

Cleaning up and correcting fickle things like time designations and character positioning

Looking up the correct terms for things

Some more research and contingent fixes

(Rewriting sentences to make them “nicer,” clearer, etc.)

Incorporating things I forgot and things I thought about later on

Some more research and contingent fixes

Of course, I do some research before I start writing a chapter, but, as I noted in Destruction's extended endnotes, sometimes it's better to look into stuff again for retouches.

For Destruction's 1846 flashback, I made a little "cheat sheet" of mourning customs a few years ago, and I was very happy to finally be able to pull it out and use it!

(I'm, however, not quite sure about the "social customs count for men too, even if 'clothes' customs are not the same!" thing, as men just had to follow very few rules in comparison. The first bullet point for men even says "not many rules." Sites also sometimes give varying information, so that's that too.)

I didn't do any further research on mourning as a result.

What I did last-minute research on was Cloudia's wound. My search history didn't look good that day.

In the draft, the bullet didn't pass through Cloudia but got stuck. After looking up things, I learned that you can survive a gunshot to the abdomen better if you a) get treated quickly (*cough*), b) don't have the bullet inside you, as infections are more problematic than blood loss. (And it's not like Cedric knows how to/can remove the bullet.)

(I have to add here that I am, for whatever reason, super squirmish when it comes to researching such things. My mind can handle it, but my body physically rejects me reading/watching/hearing about anything medical (in detail). E.g., I can watch some serial killer cut open a body without a problem, but I cannot watch a doctor cut open a person in a nice, clean hospital setting. It's very annoying orz (The video I linked in the Locomotive Run endnotes was a rough watch already for me.)

So if you ever wondered why Milton's hereditary heart problem is kept as vaguely as it is, that's part of the reason. I can't do much research into it before my body just says "NO." His heart problem isn't an issue anyway...)

So after doing some faint research on that topic, I rewrote that part too.

I also looked up again if you can walk atop a moving train. Yes, but the wind makes things difficult. (Milton has, amongst others, some weird practice though...)

Incorporating things I forgot and things I thought about later on

For the last part of the above list, I write a little list of everything I need/want to fix in the revision. Here are the lists for Locomotive Run and Destruction (which ended up, conveniently, on the same page, yey; and there are no spoiler things too!).

As you can see, the notes include

little details I had to change (e.g. “Milton removes belt” -> it would have been odd if Yvette had accepted him with it)

more major rewrites (e.g. Aurèle’s wound; the first fired bullet of the chapter initially did not hit anyone. It would not make any sense for Aurèle to just stay behind when his brother was in danger, and he was meant to move through the train too, albeit starting a bit later than the others like Newman. However, Aurèle was just one character too many on that train, so I had to have him get shot to have a reason why he couldn’t move through the train. Shot for my convenience, sorry!)

and things that didn’t make it into the chapter after all (e.g. “Q says Y took his gun” -> Yvette was initially set to steal Quentin’s gun and shoot Cloudia with it later on; I only forgot for Quentin to tell everyone about the theft (he only tried to say it but kept getting cut off) and, thus, noted down to insert it later. While writing the chapter, however, Yvette grabbing Cloudia’s gun instead felt more natural, so I scrapped the gun theft and removed the traces of that idea during the revision).

Some more explanations of the bullet points:

In Locomotive Run, Cedric initially witnessed the box ruse with Milton and Yvette through an intact door/window. I thought the door would be thin enough for him to be able to hear enough, but I later changed my mind. It would have been too silly, so I shattered the window to make things more probable.

(I also read a book last year that had people eavesdrop through a closed door and still be able to hear every word perfectly clearly (and even see the talking parties’ motions in detail). The people they were eavesdropping on were not even standing in front of the door but several metres away! I didn't want to do that same stuff myself. The least a shit book can do is make you hate something so much, you avoid doing the same dumb thing with your own writing.)

In Destruction, there were French Reapers in the first draft already. The note is only there to remind me to make Cedric think of them a bit more; I ended up inserting that bit when he and Milton have their little “pause.”

Cloudia entered the bakery and saw the sweet bread in the first draft too. I was unsure whether she should give one to Cedric (I had two variants: She either runs back into the bakery when they stand outside to grab one, or she takes one when she’s in the bakery for the first (and only) time), but ultimately decided to do it.

The dagger fell to the ground when Yvette got away. I forgot to make Cedric pick it up in the first draft and fixed that later on; the dagger would have been lost (forever) otherwise!

Further, I had to fix all time designations in the 1846 Destruction flashback to make them make sense; while writing I just threw in some numbers without care. (As I mentioned the Hanged Men Case all the way back in Captured already, I had to make sure I kept that case at its length of exactly 15 days. (Why tf was I so specific back then??? orz) So, Cloudia is going to finish that case not long after the walk :))

That was rather easy to do, unlike the time designations in Locomotive Run.

After all, that chapter still had “the countdown”!

I wrote the draft uncaring about the times but then scrambled to fix the times in the revision. In the draft, Cloudia and Cedric talk through the necklaces right after Cloudia kills the woman who knocked on the compartment doors. He would then inform her about Yvette having the box, and she would get surprised when she sees Townsend with a box too. When I went to fix the times, I realised that the box ruse would have to happen at the exact same time as Cloudia reaching the woman. Thus, I had to remove that conversation, and Cloudia now wouldn’t find out about the two boxes until Destruction.

I also made a little drawing of the train to keep track of everyone’s movements on it orz The train initially had one locomotive and nine wagons, but I ended up cutting one wagon because I couldn’t take it anymore. (Nothing happened in it anyway!) I didn’t even want to have that many wagons; it just ended up like that while writing. This wasn't supposed to be a literal Mugen Train after all.

(The last version of that little drawing. The previous ones are all horribly messy.)

Lastly, while going through the first round of revision, I write a list of every POV switch (or major scene breaks within one POV) with a few notes on what happens in that part to get a better overview/to keep better track of everything. I then tick off the parts I finished editing while going through the first and second rounds of revisions.

I usually don’t realise how often the POVs change as I write. Locomotive Run is segmented into 17 parts, and Destruction into 16. That “segment” list was especially helpful for Mimes with the many timeline switches!

They are usually kept neatly like Destruction's:

And then there’s Locomotive Run’s. It was a tough chapter.

Step 3: Another round of revisions

This round of revisions is mainly to fix the chapter on a more “surface” level. I usually don’t add more scenes (unless I think of something very last-minute, or still forgot something important) in this round; instead, I concentrate on fixing up the sentences.

I take my time with the first big revision round because, usually, a lot needs to be fixed, added, cleaned up, etc. in that part and I want to be thorough. For the second (and final) round of revisions, I try to get through the chapter in a short time span, one or two days, so that I can catch smaller continuity mistakes or word repetitions more easily. If I took longer, it’s more likely that I forget that a character said X on page 1 and then said a contradictory Y on page 20 or so. If I do it back-to-back, it’s all fresh in my mind. (That makes this round also rather tedious because my chapters are so long orz but it’s better to do it that way, for me.)

I cut up longer sentences into smaller ones too, and change wordings to make things clearer. In Ecstasy, when Milton speaks about finding Townsend's Paris base, the one cooperative henchman didn't have a name at first, but as there were so many nameless people involved in Milton's recounting, I randomly named him "Miller" to make things clearer/easier to read.

I also tend to use the same sentence structures (a lot of “but” sentences, a lot starting with “And,” etc.) and I try to clean that up with more variety. Or use the same phrasings (especially for things like Milton fidgeting/fumbling/playing with/tugging on/etc. his sleeves). Or the same words (after using coach and wagon a lot in Locomotive Run, I remembered it can be called a “carriage” too, so I mixed that into the text too; you can also see some of my thesaurus lists in the Locomotive Run segment list above!). I’m also extra vigilant about typos in this revision round.

Sometimes when I have already stared at sentences and fixed them up a lot while drafting (as, when I hit a wall and don’t know how to continue, I begin at the start of the passage/chapter again and work my way through it; I edited the first two wagon bits in Locomotive Run too many times to count) and during first revisions, I forgo this second round.

Step 4: Finishing up

After all edits are done, I turn on Grammarly (I just use the free version), and Grammarly treats me like an idiot with me messing up prepositions and whatnot. It also helps catch some more typos.

And when the Grammarly check-up is done, I remember I haven’t made a terrible cover yet, so I die a little inside (“Why tf did I even decide to do this in the first place???”) and open up Gimp to massacre some image. And then I upload the chapter everywhere.

And the next day, or even some hours later, I realise some mistake and fix that quietly, cough.

------------------------------------------------------

Bonus: Initial versions and deleted scenes

Cloudia and Cedric’s removed conversation in Locomotive Run

~Cloudia~

Commotion, commotion, commotion.

Each wagon was a chaotic wreck, and Cloudia was tired of pushing and shoving her way through the masses and narrow corridors. Thus, when she finally spotted the woman who had caused all that, Cloudia wished she still had the dagger and didn’t have to cut her throat with an ordinary knife.

At least, when the woman spotted her, she turned in panic and tried to run, only to be held back by passengers.

She only reached the door when Cloudia slammed her against it, holding the cold blade against her neck. “Interesting, isn’t it? How things can turn out to be,” whispered Cloudia into her ear, first in French, then in English for good measure, before she slid the knife across her throat like a violinist drew a bow along the strings of their instrument. Instead of a melody, her action only coaxed gasped and screams out of the passengers who tried to pry her off the woman.

“Murderer, murderer, murderer,” they called her. Cloudia simply yanked herself free from their grips, wiped the knife on her clothes, and moved on to the next coach. The repetition followed her, and Cloudia thought as she was mid-air between wagons, that it might have been a melody if not for the other expletives thrown into the chant.

However, as soon as Cloudia’s boots touched the metal platform did the thought vanish from her mind, did the adrenaline from killing the woman deplete. All her energy and attention were taken away by a little voice in her head.

Yvette is making her way to you.

Cloudia was glad that she was already standing on the platform; she feared she might have slipped otherwise.

Or, rather, she is making her way to the front of the train, Cedric continued as Cloudia pulled her own skull pendant from behind her clothes. Jacques is safe.

Are you? Cloudia wanted to ask but then did not, the question too superfluous; of course, he was. What happened? she enquired instead.

It’s a long story; I will tell it later. I’m heading to the front too. Alfred is with Jacques, do not worry.

I’m nearly at the front; I only have two more wagons to go. Is there anything else you want to tell me?

Yes. Maxime is handcuffed and unconscious, so you won’t run into him. And Yvette has the Queen’s box.

Cloudia stopped in her tracks. Someone collided with her and cursed at her, but she did not pay him any attention, and he quickly recoiled upon seeing the blood on her clothes. What do you mean Yvette has the box?

I saw the thing with my own eyes. I’m sorry that we could not secure it. It was rather messy here.

But why should she have it in the first place? Why not Townsend? Did they decide to give it to her because we would think he would have it, and not she?

That’s possible.

Cloudia resumed her track through the coach, shaking off the man who had collided with her earlier as he demanded to know what was going on and where the blood came from in the process. One nuisance was, at least, more bearable than what she had to deal with earlier. As the woman hadn’t reached this wagon and the ones beyond yet, the chaos had not seeped into this area of the train yet.

Is there anything you want to tell me? Cedric’s voice echoed in her ear just as Cloudia shooed the man back into his cabin. She halted again upon hearing his question, and for a moment, a hundred replies floated through her mind like pesky flies before she waved them all away and simply thought. Take care. See you soon.

***

~Cedric~

Take care too, Cedric replied and stuffed the pendant back into his shirt. “Are you done here, Milton?” he then asked aloud. Since they had left Jacques and Newman behind, they had managed to cross a wagon and were about to jump to their third.

------------------

Snippet 90

As you can see from the number of the snippet, this one is quite old! (I currently have 411 snippets in my collection.) I had this idea many, many years ago. This snippet simply records that idea; there was no proper context or time slated for it when I wrote it. I thought one day “oh, wouldn’t that be fun?” and jotted this down. The third character mentioned is, thus, just some placeholder and no one in particular. I then had to edit it to make it fit into Destruction and look up some things from the third chapter in the process. Most of the snippet remained as it is which isn’t always the case.

“Do not dare!”

A second before Cedric had been able to mangle him, Cloudia had thrown herself between them, spreading her arms to shield him from Cedric.

Cedric stopped, not wanting to hurt Cloudia who was barely able to stand. She was gasping for air and this reckless action had cost her the rest of her energy.

“You promised me it,” Cloudia struggled to say, and something inside of Cedric shattered and the rest of his blood-thirst vanished.  He really did not want to know what had happened if he had not been able to stop in the right moment, if he had been blinded so much by his thirst of blood that he had attacked Cloudia, of all people, in his frenzy.

“You...,” she began, but then, she coughed and tumbled, fainting. Instinctively, Cedric moved forward and caught her in his arms, her body so thin and fragile in his arms. He closed his eyes and kissed her on the head.

What had I done?

Cedric carefully laid Cloudia down in the leaves before he went to punch him in the face, knocking him unconscious. Then, Cedric tied him up and put him over his shoulder. When he was done, he gently lifted Cloudia in his arms and headed back.

[seven-oomen]

🦇 Trick or Treat! 🦇

-@forthesanityofstorytellers

Treat!

Have some of my chapter notes for my current longfic:

Caught somewhere in time:

Scene of Aayla and Bly stopping by on the negotiator and having similar interactions as Obi-Wan and Cody. Scene between Jango & Boba followed by a scene between Cal & Cody. Arrival on Kamino to bring Fett to his rooms that are on lockdown with Boba. Cody & Jango have a discussion about Cal and the flimsiplast documents.

It's gonna be all about parallels this chapter!

[snowmoonandflower]

Chapter Notes | maai; the distance between

this chapter starts off slow before moving into a bit more intense (and admittedly gory) action.

let's talk about sanemi

while he is brash and aggressive, sanemi has more nuance to him than that. he has been shown to be well spoken and respectful of those who deserve it, and he's noted to be particularly kind to women, children, and the elderly (within reason!)

i feel like so far i have very much explored the more kind and gentle nature of the eldest shinazugawa while hinting at a darker exterior. his introduction to masachika, obanai, and kyoujurou (to an extent) are rough and cold, whereas he has been very polite to the women of the spring estate and respectful to those of deserving rank and stature (akihito, ritsunoko, and yoriha).

the second half of this chapter was a lot of fun to explore. sanemi is known to loathe demons (as we've seen in the series), however his hatred and contempt for them is so strong that his subtitle in the fanbooks is 'he who holds peerless resentment against demons'. this is pretty stark when the others hold subtitles such as 'she who's peerless heart beats ever loudly' (personal character trait) or 'he whose cold, peerless judgement guides his slaying hand' (character trait that directly impacts how they kill demons). sanemi's subtitle stands out as neither something that helps him slay demons nor a character/personality trait (arguably), it's the simple fact that he peerlessly resents and despises demons.

i don't think sanemi is so lost in his contempt and hatred that he's unaware of it and it's made him unadjusted to life with other humans. i hope some of his internal dialogue helped illustrate his state of mind and his crusade against demons.

let's talk about the hashira

there are many original characters in this story (as evident by the tag i included: a lot of original characters). while we love the nine pillars initially introduced to us in KNY, i desperately wanted to pad out the world and give it more substance and flesh. there's so much potential for more growth in terms of characters, family, and overall history and lore for the corps and the breathing styles.

we currently know of a handful of hashira, but the entire lineup as of this point in the story has yet to be revealed. allow me to recap what we know:

yanagizawa yoriha, the dragon hashira who is currently the eldest serving hashira. she has the highest seniority.

rengoku shinjurou, the flame hashira and master of the chrysanthemum estate. he is kyoujurou's father, and as hinted by kyoujurou this chapter, has some kind of mentorship over obanai.

kakutani akihito, the wind hashira and master of the Spring Estate. he is yoake's uncle. masachika is his tsuguko, and he is sanemi's wind breathing cultivator.

urokodaki ritsunoko, the water hashira, who we met very briefly at the end of chapter one. tomioka giyuu is her tsuguko, and she has a pretty familiar family name...

kakutani yoake, the crane hashira and heir to the spring estate.

without saying too much more, i'll tell you that we will at least meet the other hashira within the next chapter or so, and we might start exploring the connections and histories between some of the OC hashira too...!

let's talk about final selection

in the series, we see that kirya and kanata are the facilitators of tanjirou's final selection, which i personally find to be a very bold choice (sending the ubuyshiki heir so close to demon territory) however it's very possible and likely that the children were escorted there by kakushi or other demon slayers as guards (we do see demon slayers acting as guards/patrols in the swordsmith village, after all).

at this point in the story, kuina and kanata are far too young to facilitate final selection, and amane would be responsible for caring for five needy toddlers, so i doubt she'd facilitate it either. and as bold as it was to send the ubuyshiki heir to facilitate final selection, i do not ever see them sending the current oyakata-sama and head ubuyashiki to facilitate, no matter how much he'd might like to.

it makes the most sense for someone of relative seniority and high rank to facilitate final selection. we know no one helps the recruits on the mountain, as evidenced by the hand demons wonton destruction of the trainees over the course of 47 years, so they wouldn't necessarily need to be slayers or capable fights - however given the nature of it being an assessment, and its importance in the corps in terms of keeping the ranks full, i don't think it unreasonable that one or twice a year, a hashira holds off their patrol duties for one week to facilitate the intake of new members of the corps.

it's my personal belief that final selection is held about 1-3 times a year depending on how many students and trainees have prepared and petitioned. their cultivators would be responsible for putting their names forward to the corps as potential recruits, and when that number hits a certain threshold, a final selection will be organised.

we know from giyuu's comments about his own selection (paraphrasing: "the selection from that year") seems to imply there was only one that year. given the comment made by the hashira in the series after tanjirou first comes to headquarters, we know the quality of the recruits has deteriorated over the years despite the strength of the modern day hashira standing on par with the sengoku era (said to be the peak of strength of the corps). i believe we can infer from this that while multiple selections are held a year, within the past decade or so, it's not uncommon for a year to only host one.

final notes

i had a subtle confirmation in this chapter that the fourth great family of the five great families that have supported the demon slayer corps over the centuries is, of course, the ubuyashiki family. this means we know the of the following families:

the Kakutani household of the Spring Estate

the Kochou household of the Butterfly Estate

the Rengoku household of the Chrysanthemum Estate

the Ubuyashiki household of an as-of-yet unnamed estate

To whet your appetites, here's a look at the four kamons for the four great families (made my myself!)

i could really go on and on about so much more in the chapter, but i don't want to talk your ears off when i know my chapters already run extremely long (so much so that i need to split them on ao3). so i'll leave things off here with a reminder that my askbox is open for anyone with any further queries!

[chloesimaginationthings]

Nightmare critters REAL introduction in poppy playtime

[antilavender]

[kalwithatrenchcoat]

It doesn't hurt to rest your head for even just a moment. But, boy, it sure is difficult to get some proper rest.

[hinamie]

9 / 266

[amelikos]

We got some comments from the VAs of Liko, Roy and Dot about the upcoming chapter, Mega Voltage (translation here).

Liko's VA comments on Liko's current state of mind.

Roy's VA comments on the fact that Liko, Roy and Dot will set out to restore the truth about the Rising Volt Tacklers with Uruto.

Dot's VA mentions that the characters have grown and wonders what Dot has been up to (potentially hinting that we'll learn what she was doing during the year after Rakua).

Additionally, we got the first promotional pictures of the one-hour special that will air on April 11, as well as an illustration by Mojacookie.

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Sneaky fixes and little stuff I searched while writing

I made many, many messes writing WotQ. Some I corrected retroactively, e.g., Oscar was originally called "Chief Detective Superintendent Livingstone" in Captured although the title didn't exist yet when he was working at Scotland Yard.

In Chapter 1, I changed a sentence from "Cloudia put out her fan, which she had got by her cousin Constantia as a gift after she had visited Japan" to "Cloudia put out her fan, which she had got from her cousin Cathleen as a gift after she had received the opportunity to visit a small island in Japan". I sneakily fixed the grammar issue, the cousin (I honestly didn't even remember that I accidentally wrote Constantia instead until I looked up that sentence again... it was always supposed to be Cathleen), and included an explanation of how Cathleen could go to Japan during Sakoku (the small island is Dejima, the only place foreigners could visit; I mentioned that in the Freebird notes).

Most recently, I fixed this sentence from Captured while writing Destruction: "Say, Oscar, when was the last time we all have been here?" which, of course, does not make any sense because Cecelia is talking about the AoE gathering for the Hanged Men Case which was in London. They obviously wouldn't have come together at the manor then! (It's now "Say, Oscar, when was the last time we all have been together?")

Sometimes, I announce fixes if they're larger, but sometimes I just do it without a word... I updated the Ao3 version multiple times to fix small issues here and there. (I never fix up the chapters on tumblr, unless I catch an error right after posting. Like the stupid (but minor) Zucchini 2 mistake orz) For last year's anniversary, I rid myself of a set of sentences that have been bothering me for years in Frightening. Their removal did nothing but ease my mind. I also changed the wagon number in Ecstasy from Yvette and Jacques being four wagons ahead to five while puzzling out Locomotive Run.

I never do retroactive fixes that change up anything of consequence though, i.a. because that would be mean (how would anyone be able to figure anything out if everything kept changing retroactively? this isn't the One-Punch Man manga).

Other times, I cannot change a mistake retroactively because doing so would mean severe rewrites, e.g., the zucchini issue. Or, to add to the endless talk about trains, the corridor coach issue that began with Laughing Together, as I mentioned in the Ecstasy notes.

(As a background: I received The Wolves of Willoughby Chase when I was ten years old and reread it a lot in the following few years, but haven't done so in very long. It's a lovely book (Simon is an artist because of the Simon in that book! Though he wasn't named after him but after another fictional Simon.), and I was convinced the "only" changed historical aspect was the addition of wolves. Early on, a character takes a train with corridor coaches and gets told to "use the handbrake" if a stranger talks to her. If only I had bothered to open the book and check the author's note before writing Laughing Together all these years ago... You know, the author's note that starts with: "This book is set in a time of English history that has never existed - shortly after the coronation of Jacob III the Good in 1832." Well, at least that idiocy brought me Locomotive Run. (I've also since found out there's a whole trope about wrong train depictions. It's very common to get them wrong, apparently.))

It's ultimately all little stuff no one cares about but me. Apart from the one time, someone on FF.net told me that the Catholic Marcel could not possibly have children, no one has ever pointed anything out to me. He's a Protestant now, and I really wish I had just said Nicolette was his orphaned niece and not his daughter orz (Oh, and others pointed out the "verdadero" bit in Meeting the Queen, saying it was wrong - but that's their mistake, not mine.)

Anyway, all that has made me question myself a lot and I now google and check stuff more while writing. (That, of course, only reduces the amount of mess ups instead of completely eliminating them...)

Some stuff I can remember from the top of my head (and that I haven't mentioned in chapter notes yet; I did rather thorough ones lately, so there's not much else, I think):

"Now, at least, they weren’t packed like sardines in a can." (Locomotive Run) -> Were sardines canned in 1848? Yes, canned fish has been a thing since the late 18th century.

Parts of a train. (Locomotive Run) -> Looked up train vocabulary, particularly for the front bit where the driver is (the cab) and the most front "wagon" (that's the locomotive).

Parts of a church. (Malady 3) -> To be able to better describe their movement within the church. Nave, ambulatory, etc.

"down the rabbit hole" -> I remember that I wanted to use that idiom in Cloudia's POV while she was in the Witch's Castle, though cannot recall when/where exactly. I removed it because Alice in Wonderland came out in 1865, and that idiom didn't exist beforehand. (Cedric's POV includes "I fell into the rabbit hole to the Land of Sleep" in Travelling. He has Grim Reaper privileges, so it works here! I like having fun with his POV and including modern stuff, e.g. Merci Chocolate (existed since 1965) in Locomotive Run and Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion in Ecstasy.)

utility belt (Ecstasy, Locomotive Run) -> Milton has one of them. They came to be in the late 19th century (before, people did put stuff in their normal belts, but not in the Batman way, of course...) A very deliberate little anachronism on my side :) Just like...

radar technology (Destruction) -> No Overseas Watchdog Mission without some radar technology! This time dubiously provided by Milton. The history of radar didn't start until 1886 with Heinrich Hertz's experiments. (I actually looked up Ch97 of the manga again as a reference.) I just wrote whatever in the draft before looking up (more) accurate terminology. (You might have noticed that Cedric always calls the machine a "receiver" in his POV when Cloudia does not because of his GR privileges! Cloudia, however, does use display/screen because I couldn't think of a better word for her. Though I did reduce those instances a bit from draft to finished chapter.)

I once thought about doing a joke with Oscar putting on Tchaikovsky's July: Song of the Reaper when Cedric was around to mess with him. Unfortunately, it came out in 1876, so I can't do it. (Though Cedric could listen to it at some point!)

Another music-related joke that did not make it: When Kamden tells Cloudia that his latest crush's name is Elise in Affection, I wanted her to mention the Beethoven composition, "Für Elise". However, while it was composed in 1810, it was not published until 1867. I did write that bit though before removing it. I put it under the cut.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Only an hour,” he replied as they climbed the stairs. “And there weren’t many people here today. Only a couple and E…” Kamden cut himself off, and Cloudia didn’t have to see his face to know he was blushing.

She grinned. “‘E’ is such a lovely, simplistic name, though I prefer Chalchiuhtlicue.”

He hesitated before he said, “Her name is Elise.”

“That’s a very pretty name too. Sharing a name with a Beethoven composition is wonderful, but it must be awfully annoying to always be reminded of it – even worse if you play an instrument,” said Cloudia. They reached the apartment and walked through the narrow corridor to the living room. “For the rest of your life, everyone will request the same song from you. If this wasn’t such a maddening affair, I guess more people would name their children ‘Appassionata’ or ‘Moonlight Sonata.’ Even the inconspicuous ‘Thérèse’ comes with eternal haunting.”

Cloudia sat down on a sofa, but Kamden remained by the door. “She was indeed named after the bagatelle,” he said sheepishly.

----

And another version where I elaborated on Chalchiuhtlicue instead before deciding to scrap that too:

“She’s left, and I closed the shop for today,” said Kamden, blissfully unaware of Cloudia’s thoughts, and only then did Cloudia notice that the shop had emptied.

“Isn’t it a bit early?” Cloudia asked and took his hand, letting herself be pulled through the row of shelves to the staircase in the back that led to Kamden’s flat above.

“Only an hour,” he replied as they climbed the stairs. “And there weren’t many people here today. Only a couple and E…” Kamden cut himself off, and Cloudia didn’t have to see his face to know he was blushing.

She grinned. “‘E’ is such a lovely, simplistic name, though I prefer Chalchiuhtlicue.”

He hesitated before he said, “Her name is Elise.”

“Still a very beautiful name, but not comparable to the name of an Aztec goddess,” said Cloudia. They reached the apartment and walked through the narrow corridor to the living room where Cloudia promptly sat down on a sofa; Kamden remained by the door.

“Would you ever name a child after an Aztec deity?” Kamden asked.

“Why not? It’s not any different than naming children after Greek or Roman mythological figures,” Cloudia replied. “My own mother is a perfect example. And if someone cannot be bothered to try pronouncing ‘Chalchiuhtlicue’ or ‘Ītzpāpālōtl’ – or, for a boy, ‘Piltzintecuhtli’ – as correctly as they’re able to, I would not want them anywhere near my hypothetical children anyway.”

“You’re right,” Kamden said softly. “And ‘Chalchiuhtlicue’ is a pretty name,” he continued with a proud glint in his eyes.

“Though, I guess, to you, it’s not as pretty as ‘Elise.’” Cloudia teased, and Kamden’s face reddened.

[snowmoonandflower]

Chapter Notes | hagakure; hidden in leaves

chapter notes:

while this fic will explore shinazugawa sanemi's story and the lives he has touched over the course of his life, at the end of the day, this is a sanemi x oc story, so please keep that in mind. there will also be chapters in the future that do not feature sanemi, as i make an effort to explore as many POVs as i can, but the central plot will always return to him and my oc.

there are some Japanese words that I specifically chose not to translate as I felt they did not fit the tone of the story when translated to English.

translations:

jinbei - traditional attire consisting of a kimono-like top and a pair of trousers

engawa - a wooden/bamboo edge strip that runs around a room or building, almost like a veranda

kamigami - japanese pantheon of deities

tsuka - the hilt of a katana

seiza - specific way of sitting in which one kneels, which is considered very polite and formal

agura - sitting crossed legged, which is considered casual and (sometimes) rude

zabuton - a thin, flat cushion

shishi-odoshi - this thing

uguisu - japanese bush warbler, also called a "nightingale"

kikkou - a common japanese hexagonal pattern that resembles a tortoise's shell

about OCs and canon:

the OCs in this story, for the most part, are introduced to flesh out the world of demon slayer and explore the struggles and hardships of the corps and its several-hundred-year journey. there are a handful of OCs who are an exception to this though and play a major role in the story.

this story is not canon-compliant as the fate of several characters differs from that of the manga (in addition to the introduction of certain important OCs). for the most part, though, this will follow the overall story that was presented in the manga, so please be aware of spoilers for un-animated episodes of the anime.

most of the story will run concurrently to the main story portrayed in the manga, exploring different POVs and the happenings of the corps around such events.

i deeply enjoyed writing this story and i'm excited to see it through to the end. the thirty-six chapters listed on the ao3 page are subject to change, especially if i have to split more future chapters, but for the most part the entire story's outline is completed, so i have charted a course for this turbulent ship!

please enjoy and i encourage you to read and comment, as i appreciate each and every one.

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 38! If my family found my ao3 account I think that I would actually pass away I'm not even joking

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

ACE CRIES IN HIS DREAM OHHHH THE DEVELOPMENT FOR ACE MY HEART HURTSSSSSS b4 ace would have deflected yuu going oh it was a joke when i said you can message me if you feel lonely and now b7 ace is actually being more honest going dont say that i'll feel bad MS RAVEN IM ALL OVER THE PLACE

AND NOT MOST OF THE BOYS' DREAMS REVOLVING AROUND THEM AND THEIR FAMILY/DORM MATES BUT ACE'S DREAM HERE IS LITERALLY ABOUT YUU??? U TRYNNA TELL ME SOMETHING??? OUGHHH MY HEART IS IN PAINNNNNN AND THE TANGLED EVENT COMING SOON THEYRE OVERFEEDING MEEEEEEE

[Referencing the JP Feb 2025 schedule; you can read my thoughts on book 7 chapter 12 part 2 here!]

I wasn’t expecting Ace to get a unique crying expression but here we are 😂 Pretty proud of myself for calling that Ace’s dream would address these oddly dismissive comments from back in 7-17:

It’s so Ace of him to be blunt when calling others out but also having trouble being honest about his own feelings. Those lines in 7-17 definitely read as deflecting and being in denial to me. That’s just how Ace chooses to cope with his problems.

You can even see this same mentality carrying through into his new crying expression… See? He’s still trying to smile and laugh, even through his tears. (Your one true love, by the way, is coincidentally described by Ace in Ghost Marriage as being “someone you can laugh and cry with”!)

fbskwbuwnsma I find it really funny how people were theorizing that Malleus would OB over the threat of Yuu going home when he ended up OBing over the thought of losing Lilia… Then it turns out that Ace is the one centering Yuu in his foremost desires 😭 I mean, I know Ace made that long trek back to Sage’s Island back in book 4, but so did Deuce and Deuce didn’t dream of Yuu staying—only Ace did. This is most likely the result of Ace not properly processing his feelings in the waking world (because of his deflection and denial), despite deep down valuing his friendships with Yuu, Deuce, etc.

Come to think of it, it makes sense that Ace’s dream ended up taking place during summer vacation on the Stitch island… because Stitch talked about ohana—family, which means no one gets forgotten or left behind. Ace’s dream is to be able to move forward (ie the summer after the end of their first year)… with all of his friends and NRC family. That includes his Heartslabyul classmates (yes, even his tyrannical dorm leader that he always complains about) and his friends at Ramshackle.

I can see why this would feed the brain rot of Ace yumes www It really slots in with the “I-It’s not like I care about you or anything, idiot! (jk I care so much)” kind of trope. And his dream taking place on a remote island screams “stereotypical beach fanservice episode”. Bro just keeps slotting in sk well with all the classics… Wishing all Ace yumes fun with this update ^^

[ao3-crack]

(x)