#chapter notes

[mothfables]

i started on the next agere! legend ficlet, and decided it would be The Chain + Thunderstorm! here’s a sneak peak:

Twilight pulled the hood of his pelt over his head only to pause. Something felt off. He did a quick headcount; all of the usual trouble makers - Wild, Hyrule, and Wind - were ahead, eagerly searching for someplace to take shelter from the rain. The others were trudging along as well as they could.

Everything seemed fine. He continued walking.

…Wait. Someone was missing.

The rancher stopped in his tracks to count again. Wind, Wild, Hyrule- that was three. Time and Wars in their armor, glancing worriedly up at the sky, five. Sky holding his sailcloth over an unhappy Four. Seven. He made eight.

…Where was the Vet?

Twilight glanced around, trying to spot his missing brother. He turned and- oh.

Legend stood frozen in the middle of the road, hands clasped over his ears and eyes shut tight. Thunder boomed again and Twilight watched as he flinched, curling into himself with a barely-audible whimper.

[amelikos]

Overall thoughts on the Terastal Debut chapter.

As usual, just stray thoughts and ramblings which I am writing for future reference.

I first came into this arc with apprehension because I am not really into the game characters (not just SV but in general, there are few I really love and could consider myself a fan of, but even then I don't necessarily feel the need to see them in another media because they work well enough in the games?) and don't like seeing them copy pasted into the anime and taking space (we really don't need to see the same story in the anime or any other media, that limits the potential for the kinds of stories being told). I am not really into the competition aspect either or the gyms etc (this isn't the only thing that goes on in the Pokemon world, there is potential for much, much more). (Yeah, I watched all of anpk. Yeah, I don't like the strong focus on competition or having to see the game characters. We exist, etc.)

Either way, I was apprehensive because I really didn't want this chapter to be about the competition or the badges or whatever (we finally escaped the curse of following the games or having to do the challenge, so..). Battles can be fun to watch and interesting, but I am not that much into them happening just for the sake of it, I mostly care about the story being told through a battle and what it's supposed to say about the characters involved, what it brings them, etc.

Overall, the way the Terastal Course was structured kind of dispelled my worries. I thought it was smart to frame this as a training arc and literally use the Gym Leaders and the Elite Four for training, and make them teachers and coaches who help students. It makes them likeable and approachable, and adds to the world too? The Elite Four and Gym Leaders being actually invested in trainers' growth, nurturing talents wherever they come from... and the Elite Four not being "out of reach" and hanging out around the school, talking to students, paying attention to them. They were not "untouchable" trainers who only allow a select few to battle them, they participated in the school's events and cared about all the students. Which makes them likeable to me. Because I understand what purpose their strength has. Which was one of my "problems" with the strong focus on competition before... it's like okay, but what do you use your strength for? What are you doing with it? Does it have meaning? And it's neat that in Horizons, we get this setting where experienced trainers nurture the younger generation in a constructive way (because they do elaborate on what the kids need to improve on). So we have the answer about the purpose of their strength. They help others find themselves and guide them. Might I add, this kind of setting constantly adds to the overall narrative and the Explorers side of things. We get Liko, Roy and Dot who get guidance from adults around them, and they are not left to their own devices, and it's shown as a good thing. In comparison, Amethio doesn't get the same amount of guidance and he had to master Terastal by himself. So even if Amethio's appearances were far and between during this chapter, the way the writing makes a point to show that one side gets guidance and help, while another side (Amethio) has to handle things alone by himself... I love how intentional and careful Horizons is about its writing and contrasts/parallels.

Also, I think the Terastal Course adds to the world because I just think it's fun to show that they can make up courses to focus on one specific thing... It made me think that maybe, they have other courses to help people handle other problems they might encounter. And the Gym Leaders are like coaches and professionals who could help them deal with their issues because they know how to handle Pokemon, etc. Like, not everyone necessarily wants to win badges and participate in some competition. But maybe people want to get stronger for other reasons (if they travel to places where they could encounter wild Pokemon who could attack them, etc), so taking a course who could prepare them for such a scenario is practical. And the idea of the Terastal Course loops back to my thinking that it makes the Gym Leaders etc more approachable. They are not just like "if you don't want to win my badge, die", they actually get invested in multiple sides of their responsabilities as Gym Leaders. Which makes them feel more invested in the community around them (nurturing the trainers and helping them, etc). Like, that bit of Friede calling Grusha's Gym in HZ064 to let him know about Liko being lost in the mountains was such a nice touch. It made me think that people can rely on Gym Leaders in such situations, and that they don't leave people to their own devices. Especially since mountains can be dangerous, it feels reassuring to know that they can just call up Grusha's Gym if serious trouble occurs, and he'll be there to help since he knows the area pretty well. Which, again, adds to the Explorers side of things. Because Friede immediately had the reflex to call for help and Grusha stepped in to help find Liko. And Amethio didn't have that, he didn't have an adult stepping in to help him (in fact, it was quite the opposite). The two sides of the story constantly linked, etc.

Either way, I thought the way this training arc occured to move the story forward was neat and well introduced (the ship getting broken at the end of chapter 2, thus giving a reason for Liko and the others to part from the Rising Volt Tacklers for a short time in order to get stronger, because their confrontation with Rayquaza made them want to improve). I also liked that we constantly got to feel and know why the trio was taking the course. Establishing in HZ046, the first episode of the chapter, each reasons they had for taking the course (and those same reasons were brought back during Liko's narration in HZ067) and getting reminders through the chapter that they were doing this to reach Rakua/Rayquaza, so the underlying purpose of the course was always at the forefront and served the overarching plot. For example, the string of episodes about the reports felt tightly woven because it was: the kids are doing homework -> why are they doing this and working on reports? -> because they are taking the Terastal Course -> why are they taking this course? -> to get stronger and to achieve their goals -> why do they want to get stronger? -> Rayquaza/Rakua, etc. These set of episodes were quite lighthearted, but just framing them as "homework for the course" made them feel much more meaningful to me because it constantly reminded me of the reason why they were doing this in the first place (which comes back to the Six Heroes).

I also liked the fact that they focused on different aspects when it came to the trio's arcs in regards to battling. The way Horizons explores battling or the approach to it is interesting to me. I liked the Gym Leaders the trio had to face and how it served their personal characters arcs and fit them, instead of being the same thing for everyone or just focusing on "raw strength". Roy had to perfect his craft (his arc's approach to battling is more of a "traditional" one in a way, and not necessarily one that appeals to me the most, but I do like that they make a point to address his issues, such as not focusing or being predictable in his style, and make him work through them so his growth as a trainer feels organic). Dot had her insecurities and tried to work through them while getting more confident and also dealt with frustration (over a loss and a win, so that was neat). Liko's arc in regards to battling is my personal favorite, I think it ties in very well with her arc of learning to put her feelings into words, learning to stop holding back (which Nyarote also had to go through since she held herself back out of fear of hurting others).. the approach of having her learn to enjoy the moment and then feeling fully immersed in a battle and enjoy it, and how it ties in with her emotional arc and connection to Nyarote and desire to understand Pokemon more.. very, very good. Just a very interesting and unique approach to battling for me, especially for a protag. Especially since Liko was someone who gave up on a battle because she didn't want to trample over her opponent's dream (Wakaba in HZ021), so seeing her grow to that extent is satisfying. Also loved that they pointed out that she is stronger when she fights to protect someone, rather than battling for sport (Liko is a magical girl...). I love her character and everything about her arc. It's so interesting. Anyway, it was cool to see the different approaches to battling depending on the characters. Characters like Liko and Dot already knew how to implement strategies and had quick thinking during battles, so their personal arcs weren't really about that and focused on other aspects.

Anyway, if I had to think about the battles which left an impact on me during the course (battles which stories I like because of what it says about the characters involved): Dot's basics test in HZ049/HZ050 (Dot's set of episodes with Nanjamo and learning how to be confident outside of her Gurumin persona was touching and well depicted), Liko's Elite Four battle in HZ056 (Liko and Kaede vs Chili, I especially loved how this episode focused on so many female characters... women uplitfting young girls my beloved... Chili and Kaede are so cool and they were who Liko needed at that point, I loved how Kaede was patient, gentle and supportive and Chili was completely different in terms of personality but they both got through Liko in their own ways), Liko's implementation test with Grusha in HZ063. The entire set of episodes, from Liko meeting to Grusha, to him failing her, to him acknowledging her in HZ066 and encouraging her to get stronger in the arc finale in HZ067, was amazing.. definitely liked the nuance and it's definitely the course test that will remain on my mind the most. I liked that Grusha was strict and had his own values and that his perspective slightly changed at the end. And I wrote about it before, but I liked that the resolution to this specific plotline happened without necessitating a rematch (it would have only encouraged Grusha in his views and he needed to open up his mind a bit, so it's good that they handled this differently) (also, I personally liked that Liko was set up against opponents who had the advantage over her in terms of typing throughout the whole course, it pushed her to her limits and made her improve etc). Also, I liked Liko vs Roy in HZ067 in terms of battle during the course (good friendship battle, and a nice way to close the chapter!).

In terms of characters from the game that were implemented in the anime: my favorite Gym Leaders are Nanjamo and Grusha. I was skeptical when Nanjamo first appeared all the way back in HZ015 but her relationship with Dot is really good and adds a lot to her character. Grusha is also really interesting (and it helps that he is a character type I am drawn to ww), I liked that they took time to delve into his background a bit, made him face Liko, and essentially making parallels between him and Amethio gave me lots to think about. Intertwining Grusha's appearance with the Explorers back into the action was nice.

My favorite Elite Four member is Chili, she is very charming and overall fun. Honorable mentions to Kaede, Clavell and Botan. Kaede plays off others well (the way she interacted with Sango, had comebacks to Chili's jokes, encouraged Grusha to say some nice words..). Clavell was nice to Sango and Onyx, so that's a plus in my book. He actually paid attention to them and wanted them to make friends with Liko and the others... that was cute. Dot befriending Botan was a good show of how far her character came (first time she befriended someone on her own).

(I don't dislike the others game characters or anything, I appreciated what they brought to our main characters and their roles, but they don't make me insane basically. The others I listed above made me think a bit deeper about them and I wouldn't mind seeing them again. Also, I realized that all the characters I listed were involved with the Explorers side of things... Nanjamo helped find Liko when Spinel was involved back in chapter 1, Grusha is similar to Amethio and got to see Sango and Onyx, Kaede interacted with Sango, Clavell interacted with Sango and Onyx, Botan helped deal with Agate... Chili is the only exception? So yeah, there is definitely a pattern on characters I'm drawn to if they are initially from the games.)

Anyway, outside of the course and battles, I also thought the focus on the trio's Pokemon and seeing them grow was neat. Shout out to that one moment in HZ052 when Kanuchan split a berry in two with her hammer to share with Terapagos, because that was the cutest thing. And the whole thing with Nyarote being a big sis who had to take care of Terapagos in HZ051, and Mibrim coming off as the middle child who is trying her best to help too. Casual scenes showing that Terapagos just loves having fun, helps stop fights (back in HZ051) and genuinely gets along with everyone quickly (HZ057 when Terapagos immediately played with the wild Pokemon) also helps add to the characterization and makes Terapagos's reaction to Amethio stand out in comparison. Terapagos really likes everyone, but the sight of someone reminding him (presumably) of Gibeon makes him angry... Overall, I always like the Pokemon side of things and loves seeing them have their own personalities (like, the way Nyarote and Soublades both took care of their trainers in HZ065, which showed off their protective sides.. that was great) and seeing fun moments with them. I like when the Pokemon feel like characters.

On the human side of things, seeing the trio work more as a trio this chapter was also great.. also the way their individual characters had more bits added to them. Liko's growing confidence, the way she interacts with the world and people around her, the way she was challenged and had to deal with frustration at different points, her willingness to stand up for what she believes in... Seeing Roy's backstory and the reason why he loves singing added more to his side of things, and the implication that he sings to ease his loneliness is an interesting bit. I also enjoyed the fact that the Roy and Dot's friendship had more individual moments between them this chapter (the focus was understandably more on Liko and Dot individual moments before that). Seeing Roy lend her Kaiden back in HZ048 (emphasizing the trust between both of them), the way he encourages her and tried to include her when he skated on the ice, their high fives at some points etc.

Dot's character is also always good and I enjoy the way they keep adding depth to her or keep making her relationship to food interesting (she tried more food this chapter, she helped out a restaurant...). I also think Dot this chapter was very much about allowing herself to give back and love people around her. Seeing her being more openly supportive of Liko (and paying attention to her changes of mood) and her friends in general, trying to think of ways to help her friends, encouraging them (and also feeling encouraged by them), her relationship with her Pokemon, her making a new friend all by herself... I could keep going on forever about Dot, but yeah, she is just great. And I like that they keep adding a lot to Liko and Dot's dynamics, it somehow always gives me new things to think about and keeps getting reinvented. Their relationship feels so dynamic.

On the Explorers side of things, I enjoyed seeing more of Sango and Onyx in casual settings. I went from "they are fun" in chapter 1, to getting more and more invested in them as time went by. Very much took shippy enjoyment out of their interactions this chapter, too. Like yeah sure, keep telling me that they probably live together, that they go out to eat together and that they both stick by each other's side no matter what and that they need the other by their side to remain calm. Their last moment in HZ067 was basically everything I wanted for them (they care about each other so much, and love is stored in the sandwich, etc..). Wish we could have seen a bit more of their students lives this chapter though, but oh well. Even if they didn't show me them working on their reports or going through their tests, I will entertain the thought anyway.

The other Explorers characters gave me lots to think about, too. Seeing more of Agate in action was nice (I wanted to know what subject she was teaching though), and her personality showing through was fun. I wonder what's the deal with her and (potentially) her family... getting more of her insight bit by bit helps me have more thoughts on her too. I support her wrongs, anyway. And same for Spinel. I feel like the writers have fun whenever he is around because he is definitely a character (him and other adult characters like Friede or Agate) who allows them to explore specific things in writing that can only be explored with his kind of character (and not younger ones like the trio etc).

Also, a bit strange remembering that we only got confirmation that Gibeon was Amethio's grandfather this chapter. When we wondered about it for so long before that. Hopefully next chapter explores Amethio's family a bit more, especially since his father was brought up.

In terms of episodes that I liked the most.. definitely HZ065, if I had to pick only one. Liko and Amethio's episode, important narrative shift and seeing everything I thought about from the day the initial Horizons poster dropped and the narrative intent clearly laid out felt so satisfying. Still impressed with this specific episode because it feels so unique in terms of what we've gotten before in the franchise... just two characters stuck together in a cave and talking, and that dialogue being important for both of them (even if that info was already known by the viewer). Very much took my shippy enjoyment out of it too, AmeLiko good.. Amethio showing that he is able to be a listener and offering his own words of support, getting through Liko in a specific way that no one else could. And the narrative making a point to show him, in particular, as the only one who could get through her in that situation and making Liko reaffirm her desire to keep on going despite everything, and making her stick to her own path no matter what (which then leads to fruitful results, because both Onyx and Grusha acknowledged her etc...). And Liko, being someone who often keeps her worries to herself so as to not inconvenience others and who can get lost in her thoughts, having someone in that moment who offers a steady kind of support, makes her talk with no filter, and hears her out and tells her the words she needs to hear.. it's very good. Also still feeling something over the fact that Amethio's question was very specific and hit the nail on its head, since he specifically asked "you hesitated during our battle, when I used Terastal, why did you give up so easily" and essentially made Liko face her issue and try to talk about it. His question wasn't vague, and I think Liko is probably the type to pretend things are okay if she is asked "are you okay?" but Amethio's words were specific to her situation. It shows that he is someone who can pay close attention to others and notice their emotions too. I think it's neat, and cool. That, and Liko's offer to work together being officially out there for Amethio to consider more deeply. Very excited about their future. What are they planning with my shoujo characters.. (I have specific thoughts about how they are framed, but whether the writers make use of the whole setting or keep it open depends on them..)

Anyway! I might or might not have covered what I wanted to mention. Maybe I'll come back and add more to this post later, but I just wanted to get it out there before Rayquaza Rising begins next week.

Basically, I enjoyed what this chapter had to offer, even though I'm not big on the side that reminds me of the competition. Using game characters to serve the original anime plot is a good way to showcase them (and the trio needed to train against other people at some point anyway). Seeing more of the characters and Pokemon in different kinds of settings was fun, and advancing the Lucius mystery bit by bit kept me hooked. Wish we could have had a bit more of some things (like, Sango, Onyx and Agate at school).

I hope the next chapter features more of the RVT, because I missed them a lot this chapter. Pls, don't expect me to live without seeing or hearing Friede outside of his seminars multiple weeks in a row ever again :/ That, and hopefully more on the mysteries and Explorers side of things. (I'm side eyeing the game characters that will appear in Rayquaza Rising, but hopefully they'll be implemented well, like they did this chapter.) The original story and Horizons doing its own thing is what makes it so good, so I hope we'll get stuff to consider in the upcoming chapter.

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Making of "Locomotive Run" and "Destruction"

As requested, some insight into my writing process. This is just how I write the WotQ chapters, and it works for me. Whatever works for you is the "correct" way of writing!

I'll talk about each general writing step, but as I also talk about the chapters (with a lot of "what could have been"s!), it's better to have read them first. I initially only wanted to focus on Destruction, but as I suffered through Locomotive Run so much, I decided to use it as an example too. (I also mention other chapters a bit as well.)

As always, this post is a bit messy, sorry!

Step 0: Outline

Unlike the first three arcs, I thoroughly outlined this current one before I wrote it. Previously, my outlines consisted of only a few short sentences – if at all^^’ Take the first arc:

If I had died halfway through the arc, no one would have been able to finish it for me orz Absolutely nothing on the actual mission in that outline! The third arc ended up, I think, a bit disjointed too because I still hadn’t done any proper outlines at that time (I did outlines for some of its chapters, but not for the complete arc). It was mostly only a few descriptive sentences and some random snippets, all hot-glued vaguely in my mind.

With this arc, I decided to take outlining seriously because I wanted to include A LOT in this arc, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out a way to make everything fit otherwise.

I write my outlines by hand because I think that’s easier to do, it’s nicer to “brainstorm” with pen and paper for me, and I can place the paper next to me as I write the chapter instead of switching documents all the time on my laptop. The paper can become rather messy though if a lot is going on. (That was the case for Nebulous, uff.) Because of the very finicky nature of the “village fight” chapters, I outlined that bit in a Word document too, so it was easier to shift around the times and events; doing that on a piece of paper would have rendered it quite illegible…

My outlines are not super extensive or lengthy though. I just fold a piece of paper, dedicate one half to one chapter, and write down bullet points of all the important things I want to/have to include in that particular chapter. I try to put them in sequence too, but it’s basically just a somewhat disjointed list of key events and nothing more.

For Locomotive Run, the list of stuff that needs/should be in it looked a bit like this:

Finding them on the train

They get Florentin back

Milton gets the box; bargain with Yvette to exchange the box for Jacques

Kamden gets attacked

Milton protects Newman by grabbing the dagger (Yvette got her hands on it before)

Cedric gets thrown off the train

Townsend and Yvette separate the locomotive from the wagons

Braking and the engine catches fire

Helping people on the train

Hurrying to the Paris train station

Chaos in Paris?!

And for Destruction, it looked a bit like this:

Chaos at the station; Quentin got hurt, and Kamden helps him

How to find Yvette and Townsend now?? -> the transmitters

Aurèle, Kamden, and Jacques go to Cecelia’s house

Cloudia goes after Yvette

Milton and Cedric go after Townsend (previously, Cedric was meant to go with Cloudia, but I thought it was better to split them up so that they could communicate via the necklaces; I also needed a POV character with Milton)

Milton and Cedric catch Townsend

Oscar arrives

Milton faints

Oscar brings Milton and Townsend to Cecelia’s house

Cedric teleports to Cloudia (with the necklaces’ help)

Chaotic fight -> Yvette stabs Cloudia

Cedric brings Cloudia to Cecelia’s house

(I cannot show pictures of the outlines, sorry!)

I keep the outlines for the flashback bits on separate papers (with the two flashback storylines kept separate too, of course) to oversee them better because they need to fit together amongst themselves after all and not with the main storyline. For Affection, they were “Barrington visits without notice and gets mad” and “Cloudia talks to Cecelia and meets up with Kamden.” For Locomotive Run, it was “Oscar’s hate for Rowan,” and for Destruction, they were “Cloudia meets with Rowan and AoE meeting -> Oscar is now more hostile to Barrington” and “Cloudia disguises herself and goes to Salisbury HQ; they meet up and talk.”

With how skeletal my outlines are, I think, if I were to die, still no one would be able to figure out what exactly I mean/want to do with my bullet points^^’ But they wouldn’t be as lost as before, at least. Hurrah?

When I have the outline, I begin to write.

Step 1: Draft

Writing the first draft can either take several days or several months for me to complete, as you know^^’ I finished Mystery in three days (draft and revision), but that was a comparatively “short” chapter. There was a gap of seven months between Ecstasy and Locomotive Run orz

Finishing the draft is important, no matter how teeth-clenching and hair-pulling it is, no matter how long it takes. I need to get it done or nothing can continue.

Reading the above bullet points, I’m sure you were a bit puzzled by some things. No worries, your memory hasn’t worsened! Things just change between each step.

For example, I (re-)outlined all chapters in one or two days. That was a few years ago by now! Going through the arc’s events in my head again and again in that time span, I get new ideas, switch things around, and discard others. And while writing the chapters, things get changed too. After all, I have no set plan for how to get from bullet point to bullet point; I just fill out the gaps as I go, and sometimes I realise that things don’t work out as I planned them while I write a chapter. Or writing the chapter just leads me elsewhere unexpectedly. Or the word count gets super long and I have to split it last-minute (e.g. Affection and Locomotive Run). Or I realise things while writing that make me have to reconsider things. Etc.

Locomotive Run is (one of) the “things didn’t work out as I wanted them to” chapters because, as I already cried in that chapter’s notes, train logistics are just awful to figure out orz That doesn’t mean nothing worked out as I wanted to (you can recognise stuff from the above outline after all), of course.

For example, the attack on Kamden was scrapped because there was no way it could fit into Locomotive Run. I would have to make him move through the train for that after all, and there were already too many people moving around, and I doubt Kamden would have even managed that. Having him attacked in the starter wagon wouldn’t work either because I needed him to be alone for that attack and for Milton to be the one who saves him in a particular way; otherwise, that incident would lose its purpose. So, I had to push it back to Destruction and have Kamden get attacked outside the train instead.

Cedric was also meant to see Milton grabbing the dagger to protect Newman, but that didn’t work out logistically either, and he could only start seeing the scene unfold at a slightly later time point (Milton attacking Yvette).

Florentin ended up not being in that chapter at all because it shouldn’t be that easy to get him or the box(es) after all! Florentin also had to stick to Townsend who was always meant to be in the locomotive; they would have never had an opportunity to get him beforehand.

The chapter was also meant to end with the characters realising that something is going on in Paris, as they were always supposed to arrive there at around 12 a.m. (the time when the Uprising started). It wouldn’t make sense for the city’s chaos to become noticeable for them that early though, and ending the chapter with “just” an explosion and a chase was enough already.

The box replica was a very last-minute idea I had while struggling through Locomotive Run’s first draft. I was a bit unsure whether to include it or not (was it too much? would it work? etc.), but I tried to make it work – and it did in the end! Without the replica, there would have been no proper reason to go after Yvette after all, as she’s not the mission’s target.

Between outlining and writing Destruction, a lot had changed. (I usually don’t bother updating my written outline then, only my “internal” one.)

I didn’t consider Cloudia’s special corset when I decided for Yvette to stab Cloudia. I wrote Ecstasy, dressed Cloudia in that corset, and went “dammit!” The corset would have protected her from a knife; to injure Cloudia as much as I wanted her to, Yvette would have to stab her from above, hitting the part that wasn’t protected by the corset. And that would have been a bit too close to Cloudia’s heart! The solution was to switch out the knife wound with a bullet wound because the corset was never meant to be bulletproof. (And that’s why I pointed just that out in the tags here, hehe.)

Cloudia’s corset is based on the titular item of The Girl with the Steel Corset. For that reason, I sometimes catch myself thinking of it as a “steel corset” when it’s not. I ensured there would be no (accidental) mention of the special corset as a steel corset, so no one could get at me with “why isn’t it bulletproof then??”

I had also finalised some stuff regarding Milton in the meantime. Because of that, it would have been near impossible for him to chase down Townsend mostly on his own. I also wanted Cloudia to be the one after all, especially with how the second part of that chase ends. Further, Milton was meant to have two radio receivers and distribute them between himself (with Cedric) and Cloudia. Unlike in the finished chapter where he can’t tell which dot is for which transmitter, he would have known which receiver was connected to which transmitter (he had handed them out after all). Purposefully giving Cloudia the receiver for Yvette while keeping Townsend for himself was also a very un-Milton thing to do. (He would have to be forced to do something like that.) Two receivers became one, and they all stayed together instead which fit the characters and the situation much better.

Barrington had to be included too, of course, as he wouldn’t leave Oscar unsupervised unless absolutely necessary.

Cedric didn’t reach Cecelia’s house with Cloudia in the end because leaving them stranded ended up being the better decision in the end.^^

Further, as I said earlier, I fill out the gaps between key events as I write. For example, the “building jump” was thrown in as I wrote the chapter. (I wrote the last uh 6k, 7k words or so of the main timeline at once because I was on a kick, so if the “building jump” part sounds a bit loopy, that’s the reason. You could call it method writing.) While this works fine for me, it also tends to run me against walls because I don’t know how to proceed.

For example, I knew that, in the 1846 flashback, Cloudia would go and see Milton in the Salisbury HQ. I wrote out that part a few years ago, actually. I didn’t, however, know beforehand what would come after Cloudia left that waiting room. I really struggled to figure out what they could talk about. Should I switch around the conversations (take something for later for this)? Or would that be an odd order?

And then I realised that I didn’t have to find a conversation after all because it felt so more fitting for Cloudia not to know either. She and Milton are both rather awkward in that aspect, and the situation is so weird after all. Of course, it would be odd! Of course, both of them wouldn’t really know what to say. And then I let them walk instead, and everything fell into place <3

I usually try writing a chapter from its beginning to its end, but I do jump between the three timelines if I find myself in a corner, unable to continue. I think, apart from starting the chapter, that conversation was the only major “blockage” I had while writing Destruction. I temporarily let it be and jumped to 1843 before I finally figured out the scene. Everything else flowed well, more or less.

When I finish the draft, I don’t usually start revisions right away. I take a day “off,” both to distance myself from the chapter to refill my energy and to think the chapter through in my head again. “Does this work?” “What can I change?” etc.

Step 2: First revision

The draft is always written with a “just get something done!!” mentality (though I do keep going back and revising after myself too). As a result, it will be rather jumbled and is never ready to be uploaded in that state. For example, I sometimes change ideas mid-draft or remember something I forgot mid-draft. I forgot to make Cloudia lose the dagger in the first draft of Locomotive Run. Still, she didn’t have it in the last parts of the chapter because I remembered halfway through that she wasn’t supposed to have it anymore and just kept writing without the dagger. I had to fix that mistake in the first revision round, or it would have been very confusing why she has it in one scene and not anymore in the next.

The checklist for first revisions is (more or less):

Fixing continuity errors within the chapter

Fixing continuity errors within the entire story

Cleaning up and correcting fickle things like time designations and character positioning

Looking up the correct terms for things

Some more research and contingent fixes

(Rewriting sentences to make them “nicer,” clearer, etc.)

Incorporating things I forgot and things I thought about later on

Some more research and contingent fixes

Of course, I do some research before I start writing a chapter, but, as I noted in Destruction's extended endnotes, sometimes it's better to look into stuff again for retouches.

For Destruction's 1846 flashback, I made a little "cheat sheet" of mourning customs a few years ago, and I was very happy to finally be able to pull it out and use it!

(I'm, however, not quite sure about the "social customs count for men too, even if 'clothes' customs are not the same!" thing, as men just had to follow very few rules in comparison. The first bullet point for men even says "not many rules." Sites also sometimes give varying information, so that's that too.)

I didn't do any further research on mourning as a result.

What I did last-minute research on was Cloudia's wound. My search history didn't look good that day.

In the draft, the bullet didn't pass through Cloudia but got stuck. After looking up things, I learned that you can survive a gunshot to the abdomen better if you a) get treated quickly (*cough*), b) don't have the bullet inside you, as infections are more problematic than blood loss. (And it's not like Cedric knows how to/can remove the bullet.)

(I have to add here that I am, for whatever reason, super squirmish when it comes to researching such things. My mind can handle it, but my body physically rejects me reading/watching/hearing about anything medical (in detail). E.g., I can watch some serial killer cut open a body without a problem, but I cannot watch a doctor cut open a person in a nice, clean hospital setting. It's very annoying orz (The video I linked in the Locomotive Run endnotes was a rough watch already for me.)

So if you ever wondered why Milton's hereditary heart problem is kept as vaguely as it is, that's part of the reason. I can't do much research into it before my body just says "NO." His heart problem isn't an issue anyway...)

So after doing some faint research on that topic, I rewrote that part too.

I also looked up again if you can walk atop a moving train. Yes, but the wind makes things difficult. (Milton has, amongst others, some weird practice though...)

Incorporating things I forgot and things I thought about later on

For the last part of the above list, I write a little list of everything I need/want to fix in the revision. Here are the lists for Locomotive Run and Destruction (which ended up, conveniently, on the same page, yey; and there are no spoiler things too!).

As you can see, the notes include

little details I had to change (e.g. “Milton removes belt” -> it would have been odd if Yvette had accepted him with it)

more major rewrites (e.g. Aurèle’s wound; the first fired bullet of the chapter initially did not hit anyone. It would not make any sense for Aurèle to just stay behind when his brother was in danger, and he was meant to move through the train too, albeit starting a bit later than the others like Newman. However, Aurèle was just one character too many on that train, so I had to have him get shot to have a reason why he couldn’t move through the train. Shot for my convenience, sorry!)

and things that didn’t make it into the chapter after all (e.g. “Q says Y took his gun” -> Yvette was initially set to steal Quentin’s gun and shoot Cloudia with it later on; I only forgot for Quentin to tell everyone about the theft (he only tried to say it but kept getting cut off) and, thus, noted down to insert it later. While writing the chapter, however, Yvette grabbing Cloudia’s gun instead felt more natural, so I scrapped the gun theft and removed the traces of that idea during the revision).

Some more explanations of the bullet points:

In Locomotive Run, Cedric initially witnessed the box ruse with Milton and Yvette through an intact door/window. I thought the door would be thin enough for him to be able to hear enough, but I later changed my mind. It would have been too silly, so I shattered the window to make things more probable.

(I also read a book last year that had people eavesdrop through a closed door and still be able to hear every word perfectly clearly (and even see the talking parties’ motions in detail). The people they were eavesdropping on were not even standing in front of the door but several metres away! I didn't want to do that same stuff myself. The least a shit book can do is make you hate something so much, you avoid doing the same dumb thing with your own writing.)

In Destruction, there were French Reapers in the first draft already. The note is only there to remind me to make Cedric think of them a bit more; I ended up inserting that bit when he and Milton have their little “pause.”

Cloudia entered the bakery and saw the sweet bread in the first draft too. I was unsure whether she should give one to Cedric (I had two variants: She either runs back into the bakery when they stand outside to grab one, or she takes one when she’s in the bakery for the first (and only) time), but ultimately decided to do it.

The dagger fell to the ground when Yvette got away. I forgot to make Cedric pick it up in the first draft and fixed that later on; the dagger would have been lost (forever) otherwise!

Further, I had to fix all time designations in the 1846 Destruction flashback to make them make sense; while writing I just threw in some numbers without care. (As I mentioned the Hanged Men Case all the way back in Captured already, I had to make sure I kept that case at its length of exactly 15 days. (Why tf was I so specific back then??? orz) So, Cloudia is going to finish that case not long after the walk :))

That was rather easy to do, unlike the time designations in Locomotive Run.

After all, that chapter still had “the countdown”!

I wrote the draft uncaring about the times but then scrambled to fix the times in the revision. In the draft, Cloudia and Cedric talk through the necklaces right after Cloudia kills the woman who knocked on the compartment doors. He would then inform her about Yvette having the box, and she would get surprised when she sees Townsend with a box too. When I went to fix the times, I realised that the box ruse would have to happen at the exact same time as Cloudia reaching the woman. Thus, I had to remove that conversation, and Cloudia now wouldn’t find out about the two boxes until Destruction.

I also made a little drawing of the train to keep track of everyone’s movements on it orz The train initially had one locomotive and nine wagons, but I ended up cutting one wagon because I couldn’t take it anymore. (Nothing happened in it anyway!) I didn’t even want to have that many wagons; it just ended up like that while writing. This wasn't supposed to be a literal Mugen Train after all.

(The last version of that little drawing. The previous ones are all horribly messy.)

Lastly, while going through the first round of revision, I write a list of every POV switch (or major scene breaks within one POV) with a few notes on what happens in that part to get a better overview/to keep better track of everything. I then tick off the parts I finished editing while going through the first and second rounds of revisions.

I usually don’t realise how often the POVs change as I write. Locomotive Run is segmented into 17 parts, and Destruction into 16. That “segment” list was especially helpful for Mimes with the many timeline switches!

They are usually kept neatly like Destruction's:

And then there’s Locomotive Run’s. It was a tough chapter.

Step 3: Another round of revisions

This round of revisions is mainly to fix the chapter on a more “surface” level. I usually don’t add more scenes (unless I think of something very last-minute, or still forgot something important) in this round; instead, I concentrate on fixing up the sentences.

I take my time with the first big revision round because, usually, a lot needs to be fixed, added, cleaned up, etc. in that part and I want to be thorough. For the second (and final) round of revisions, I try to get through the chapter in a short time span, one or two days, so that I can catch smaller continuity mistakes or word repetitions more easily. If I took longer, it’s more likely that I forget that a character said X on page 1 and then said a contradictory Y on page 20 or so. If I do it back-to-back, it’s all fresh in my mind. (That makes this round also rather tedious because my chapters are so long orz but it’s better to do it that way, for me.)

I cut up longer sentences into smaller ones too, and change wordings to make things clearer. In Ecstasy, when Milton speaks about finding Townsend's Paris base, the one cooperative henchman didn't have a name at first, but as there were so many nameless people involved in Milton's recounting, I randomly named him "Miller" to make things clearer/easier to read.

I also tend to use the same sentence structures (a lot of “but” sentences, a lot starting with “And,” etc.) and I try to clean that up with more variety. Or use the same phrasings (especially for things like Milton fidgeting/fumbling/playing with/tugging on/etc. his sleeves). Or the same words (after using coach and wagon a lot in Locomotive Run, I remembered it can be called a “carriage” too, so I mixed that into the text too; you can also see some of my thesaurus lists in the Locomotive Run segment list above!). I’m also extra vigilant about typos in this revision round.

Sometimes when I have already stared at sentences and fixed them up a lot while drafting (as, when I hit a wall and don’t know how to continue, I begin at the start of the passage/chapter again and work my way through it; I edited the first two wagon bits in Locomotive Run too many times to count) and during first revisions, I forgo this second round.

Step 4: Finishing up

After all edits are done, I turn on Grammarly (I just use the free version), and Grammarly treats me like an idiot with me messing up prepositions and whatnot. It also helps catch some more typos.

And when the Grammarly check-up is done, I remember I haven’t made a terrible cover yet, so I die a little inside (“Why tf did I even decide to do this in the first place???”) and open up Gimp to massacre some image. And then I upload the chapter everywhere.

And the next day, or even some hours later, I realise some mistake and fix that quietly, cough.

------------------------------------------------------

Bonus: Initial versions and deleted scenes

Cloudia and Cedric’s removed conversation in Locomotive Run

~Cloudia~

Commotion, commotion, commotion.

Each wagon was a chaotic wreck, and Cloudia was tired of pushing and shoving her way through the masses and narrow corridors. Thus, when she finally spotted the woman who had caused all that, Cloudia wished she still had the dagger and didn’t have to cut her throat with an ordinary knife.

At least, when the woman spotted her, she turned in panic and tried to run, only to be held back by passengers.

She only reached the door when Cloudia slammed her against it, holding the cold blade against her neck. “Interesting, isn’t it? How things can turn out to be,” whispered Cloudia into her ear, first in French, then in English for good measure, before she slid the knife across her throat like a violinist drew a bow along the strings of their instrument. Instead of a melody, her action only coaxed gasped and screams out of the passengers who tried to pry her off the woman.

“Murderer, murderer, murderer,” they called her. Cloudia simply yanked herself free from their grips, wiped the knife on her clothes, and moved on to the next coach. The repetition followed her, and Cloudia thought as she was mid-air between wagons, that it might have been a melody if not for the other expletives thrown into the chant.

However, as soon as Cloudia’s boots touched the metal platform did the thought vanish from her mind, did the adrenaline from killing the woman deplete. All her energy and attention were taken away by a little voice in her head.

Yvette is making her way to you.

Cloudia was glad that she was already standing on the platform; she feared she might have slipped otherwise.

Or, rather, she is making her way to the front of the train, Cedric continued as Cloudia pulled her own skull pendant from behind her clothes. Jacques is safe.

Are you? Cloudia wanted to ask but then did not, the question too superfluous; of course, he was. What happened? she enquired instead.

It’s a long story; I will tell it later. I’m heading to the front too. Alfred is with Jacques, do not worry.

I’m nearly at the front; I only have two more wagons to go. Is there anything else you want to tell me?

Yes. Maxime is handcuffed and unconscious, so you won’t run into him. And Yvette has the Queen’s box.

Cloudia stopped in her tracks. Someone collided with her and cursed at her, but she did not pay him any attention, and he quickly recoiled upon seeing the blood on her clothes. What do you mean Yvette has the box?

I saw the thing with my own eyes. I’m sorry that we could not secure it. It was rather messy here.

But why should she have it in the first place? Why not Townsend? Did they decide to give it to her because we would think he would have it, and not she?

That’s possible.

Cloudia resumed her track through the coach, shaking off the man who had collided with her earlier as he demanded to know what was going on and where the blood came from in the process. One nuisance was, at least, more bearable than what she had to deal with earlier. As the woman hadn’t reached this wagon and the ones beyond yet, the chaos had not seeped into this area of the train yet.

Is there anything you want to tell me? Cedric’s voice echoed in her ear just as Cloudia shooed the man back into his cabin. She halted again upon hearing his question, and for a moment, a hundred replies floated through her mind like pesky flies before she waved them all away and simply thought. Take care. See you soon.

***

~Cedric~

Take care too, Cedric replied and stuffed the pendant back into his shirt. “Are you done here, Milton?” he then asked aloud. Since they had left Jacques and Newman behind, they had managed to cross a wagon and were about to jump to their third.

------------------

Snippet 90

As you can see from the number of the snippet, this one is quite old! (I currently have 411 snippets in my collection.) I had this idea many, many years ago. This snippet simply records that idea; there was no proper context or time slated for it when I wrote it. I thought one day “oh, wouldn’t that be fun?” and jotted this down. The third character mentioned is, thus, just some placeholder and no one in particular. I then had to edit it to make it fit into Destruction and look up some things from the third chapter in the process. Most of the snippet remained as it is which isn’t always the case.

“Do not dare!”

A second before Cedric had been able to mangle him, Cloudia had thrown herself between them, spreading her arms to shield him from Cedric.

Cedric stopped, not wanting to hurt Cloudia who was barely able to stand. She was gasping for air and this reckless action had cost her the rest of her energy.

“You promised me it,” Cloudia struggled to say, and something inside of Cedric shattered and the rest of his blood-thirst vanished.  He really did not want to know what had happened if he had not been able to stop in the right moment, if he had been blinded so much by his thirst of blood that he had attacked Cloudia, of all people, in his frenzy.

“You...,” she began, but then, she coughed and tumbled, fainting. Instinctively, Cedric moved forward and caught her in his arms, her body so thin and fragile in his arms. He closed his eyes and kissed her on the head.

What had I done?

Cedric carefully laid Cloudia down in the leaves before he went to punch him in the face, knocking him unconscious. Then, Cedric tied him up and put him over his shoulder. When he was done, he gently lifted Cloudia in his arms and headed back.

[historyherstory]

Chapter 20 Notes

Hey Look! I updated! It's a miracle!

This is a pretty big chapter as far as character development goes, but I also understand the tangible answers it gives are ultimately pretty minimal 😂 (I'd apologize for that but it's deliberate and also, I enjoy the way that readers and Lieutenants alike are still in the dark, so still trying to piece together everything.)

Some thoughts: Yes! Ellie's 18th birthday was the day before D-Day. Way to ring in the next year of your life.

Deveaux is essentially the French variant of Eleanor's true surname, Dahl. Her nationality isn't mentioned but you can probably either figure it out, or get quite close, with a little research (or recognizing some other famous folk with the last name).

The real fun of this chapter was doing (utterly pointless) research on what type of personal documentation/papers someone would have in the 1930's and 40's. Passports were a thing (and Ellie would have had one) but as mentioned in a prior chapter - that's long since burnt, but that would have been the easiest "proof" of her story. Other papers of the era would have included Identification Cards (in Nazi occupied France). Ellie's is obviously falsified, but she doesn't pretend otherwise (it's also teased at in her prior conversation with Nix, where he asks about her passport).

Being caught in Germany (or German occupied lands) as a citizen of certain countries did pose some risk. I can't find the article or the name (I came across this story some years ago, regretfully) but there was an instance of an American passported man being detained for that alone (and he was sent to an internment camp, although I believe he survived the war). I'll try to find it later..it was an interesting read (admittedly it sounded not particularly common but that may have been less because of inclination and more because of how few Americans were in German/occupied lands along with the politics of it since America did not declare war on anyone until after Pearl Harbor).

Other than that: The SOE is Special Operations Executive, the British intelligence agency. Their interactions with foreign agents is varied but they did assist in some components with Charles de Gaulle and his Free French, along with other french resistance cells. It's interesting to read more about how that worked (Charles de Gaulle abroad honestly is an absolute journey of a story if you're ever interested in learning more, highly recommend.)

[seven-oomen]

🦇 Trick or Treat! 🦇

-@forthesanityofstorytellers

Treat!

Have some of my chapter notes for my current longfic:

Caught somewhere in time:

Scene of Aayla and Bly stopping by on the negotiator and having similar interactions as Obi-Wan and Cody. Scene between Jango & Boba followed by a scene between Cal & Cody. Arrival on Kamino to bring Fett to his rooms that are on lockdown with Boba. Cody & Jango have a discussion about Cal and the flimsiplast documents.

It's gonna be all about parallels this chapter!

[snowmoonandflower]

Chapter Notes | maai; the distance between

this chapter starts off slow before moving into a bit more intense (and admittedly gory) action.

let's talk about sanemi

while he is brash and aggressive, sanemi has more nuance to him than that. he has been shown to be well spoken and respectful of those who deserve it, and he's noted to be particularly kind to women, children, and the elderly (within reason!)

i feel like so far i have very much explored the more kind and gentle nature of the eldest shinazugawa while hinting at a darker exterior. his introduction to masachika, obanai, and kyoujurou (to an extent) are rough and cold, whereas he has been very polite to the women of the spring estate and respectful to those of deserving rank and stature (akihito, ritsunoko, and yoriha).

the second half of this chapter was a lot of fun to explore. sanemi is known to loathe demons (as we've seen in the series), however his hatred and contempt for them is so strong that his subtitle in the fanbooks is 'he who holds peerless resentment against demons'. this is pretty stark when the others hold subtitles such as 'she who's peerless heart beats ever loudly' (personal character trait) or 'he whose cold, peerless judgement guides his slaying hand' (character trait that directly impacts how they kill demons). sanemi's subtitle stands out as neither something that helps him slay demons nor a character/personality trait (arguably), it's the simple fact that he peerlessly resents and despises demons.

i don't think sanemi is so lost in his contempt and hatred that he's unaware of it and it's made him unadjusted to life with other humans. i hope some of his internal dialogue helped illustrate his state of mind and his crusade against demons.

let's talk about the hashira

there are many original characters in this story (as evident by the tag i included: a lot of original characters). while we love the nine pillars initially introduced to us in KNY, i desperately wanted to pad out the world and give it more substance and flesh. there's so much potential for more growth in terms of characters, family, and overall history and lore for the corps and the breathing styles.

we currently know of a handful of hashira, but the entire lineup as of this point in the story has yet to be revealed. allow me to recap what we know:

yanagizawa yoriha, the dragon hashira who is currently the eldest serving hashira. she has the highest seniority.

rengoku shinjurou, the flame hashira and master of the chrysanthemum estate. he is kyoujurou's father, and as hinted by kyoujurou this chapter, has some kind of mentorship over obanai.

kakutani akihito, the wind hashira and master of the Spring Estate. he is yoake's uncle. masachika is his tsuguko, and he is sanemi's wind breathing cultivator.

urokodaki ritsunoko, the water hashira, who we met very briefly at the end of chapter one. tomioka giyuu is her tsuguko, and she has a pretty familiar family name...

kakutani yoake, the crane hashira and heir to the spring estate.

without saying too much more, i'll tell you that we will at least meet the other hashira within the next chapter or so, and we might start exploring the connections and histories between some of the OC hashira too...!

let's talk about final selection

in the series, we see that kirya and kanata are the facilitators of tanjirou's final selection, which i personally find to be a very bold choice (sending the ubuyshiki heir so close to demon territory) however it's very possible and likely that the children were escorted there by kakushi or other demon slayers as guards (we do see demon slayers acting as guards/patrols in the swordsmith village, after all).

at this point in the story, kuina and kanata are far too young to facilitate final selection, and amane would be responsible for caring for five needy toddlers, so i doubt she'd facilitate it either. and as bold as it was to send the ubuyshiki heir to facilitate final selection, i do not ever see them sending the current oyakata-sama and head ubuyashiki to facilitate, no matter how much he'd might like to.

it makes the most sense for someone of relative seniority and high rank to facilitate final selection. we know no one helps the recruits on the mountain, as evidenced by the hand demons wonton destruction of the trainees over the course of 47 years, so they wouldn't necessarily need to be slayers or capable fights - however given the nature of it being an assessment, and its importance in the corps in terms of keeping the ranks full, i don't think it unreasonable that one or twice a year, a hashira holds off their patrol duties for one week to facilitate the intake of new members of the corps.

it's my personal belief that final selection is held about 1-3 times a year depending on how many students and trainees have prepared and petitioned. their cultivators would be responsible for putting their names forward to the corps as potential recruits, and when that number hits a certain threshold, a final selection will be organised.

we know from giyuu's comments about his own selection (paraphrasing: "the selection from that year") seems to imply there was only one that year. given the comment made by the hashira in the series after tanjirou first comes to headquarters, we know the quality of the recruits has deteriorated over the years despite the strength of the modern day hashira standing on par with the sengoku era (said to be the peak of strength of the corps). i believe we can infer from this that while multiple selections are held a year, within the past decade or so, it's not uncommon for a year to only host one.

final notes

i had a subtle confirmation in this chapter that the fourth great family of the five great families that have supported the demon slayer corps over the centuries is, of course, the ubuyashiki family. this means we know the of the following families:

the Kakutani household of the Spring Estate

the Kochou household of the Butterfly Estate

the Rengoku household of the Chrysanthemum Estate

the Ubuyashiki household of an as-of-yet unnamed estate

To whet your appetites, here's a look at the four kamons for the four great families (made my myself!)

i could really go on and on about so much more in the chapter, but i don't want to talk your ears off when i know my chapters already run extremely long (so much so that i need to split them on ao3). so i'll leave things off here with a reminder that my askbox is open for anyone with any further queries!

[antilavender]

[hinamie]

9 / 266

[kyouka-supremacy]

I love you translator notes I love you translators caring that I fully grasp the meaning of the original text I love you translators adding cultural context and specifics so I can better understand what's going on I love you long rants on why a joke is impossible to translate I love you translators adding their little comments to the scene I love you translators feeling human and involved in the material I love you translating as a form of art I love you little t/n abbreviation

[egophiliac]

tsum events really are just the best, huh

[batfamhastwitter]

Part 38! If my family found my ao3 account I think that I would actually pass away I'm not even joking

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

[mothfables]

Freckles and Scars: Outline

hnnnnn okay here it is before i lose my nerve @breannasfluff

quick things to note: lege + ravi are both asexual (because. why would i ever write them otherwise), and legend has a fear of intimacy that he’s been working to get over but still has days where it’s difficult. it’s easier for him to give affection than receive it

under the cut because. um yeah. also it’s long

-an intimate moment between Legend and Ravio where they take the time to show their appreciation + adoration for each other -they’re sitting on their bed in their shorts, nothing else -they’re just taking each other in, appreciating the time they have together -“If I could, I would kiss every freckle that paints your skin.” “And I would kiss every scar.” -similar to Growth Spurt, Legend begins kissing every inch of his partner’s skin that he can, starting at his face and working down, getting as many freckles as possible -Ravio giggles and laughs at the feeling at first, but gets more quiet the further Legend gets; when he gets to his hips Legend checks in to make sure he’s doing okay and if he wants to keep going -Ravio gives the okay but can only make little gasps as Legend moves on to his legs, completely flustered -Legend doesn’t go past the edges of his shorts, respecting the boundary neither of them have any interest in crossing -then he moves on to Ravio’s back, where it repeats, though Ravio remains quiet, only laughing when Legend reaches a particularly ticklish spot, appreciating the care and love of his partner -Legend is nearly done when he gives a gasp ‘I almost forgot the most important part!’ and pulls Ravio up to press dozens of kisses to his freckled ears, making him burst into laughter -then it’s Ravio’s turn -he has Legend lay on his stomach, as he knows it’ll be easier on his partner if he can hide his face, as well as the fact his rabbit instincts make it difficult to lay on his back without panicking -then he begins kissing every inch of scarring he can find, starting from his shoulders and going down his back to his legs -Legend can only lay there, hiding his face and trembling as he submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and laid bare by the one person he trusts most in the world -when he’s finished with his back, Ravio scoops his partner up and holds him against his chest as he begins the same process on his front -he checks in and praises him with every step, proud of him for doing so well (not running, hiding, or lashing out like he used to when in similar situations) -Legend is so overwhelmed by the tenderness and care that he hides his face in Ravio’s shoulder, shivering and hiccuping -to reach his stomach and legs Ravio has to lay him down again, but he continues to check in and shower him in reassurance -when Ravio finishes kissing every scar he can find, he scoops Legend back up and they simply cuddle for a while, letting Legend come back to himself on his own time -he cries a little, but Ravio is endlessly patient and comforting and understanding, which only makes him cry more -Ravio tells him over and over that he’s proud of Legend for being able to make the decision to go through with it without panicking, and communicating his wants + needs even though it’s so difficult for him -eventually they get dressed and go downstairs to join the rest of the Chain; Legend dresses in long clothes that cover as much skin as possible, still slightly overwhelmed and sensitive to touch; he’s still shaking a little, clinging to Ravio’s hand as they move to cuddle on the couch -Legend is quiet, not talking much beyond simple answers and more often than not simply responding with small sounds that don’t take much energy -when the others ask, Ravio tells them they had a talk and that it got emotional; they leave it be after that

[amelikos]

Listening to Only One Story while reading the lyrics (here), they are beautiful (especially the "no matter how many times you cry, you'll be fine" part).

I think everything written before verse 2 is going to be the TV version of the opening which we'll get to see accompanied with visuals. I am personally curious which lyrics will be associated with Amethio in the opening itself. One of the lyrics mentions "rainy days" so I wonder if they will take this opportunity for the wordplay ("ame" meaning rain, and Amethio's name has "ame" in it..). Also curious about the lyrics mentioning the "promised place", I'm thinking it refers to Rakua and meeting Lucius there.

The second verse is probably the part that won't be used for the TV version. Though, I'm looking at the lyrics mentioning "eternal feelings" because the reading for the kanji "永遠" is specifically "towa" (same reading used for the "eternal blessing/towa no megumi" in the series itself). "Eternal feelings" makes me think of the Six Heroes' feelings towards Lucius. Even Gibeon's, maybe, if he held on to his feelings towards Lucius (whatever they were) for the past decades (and maybe at the cost of everything else... since it feels like he wants to settle something that is in relation to Lucius and that he won't get to rest until he does). Eternal feelings overcoming the passage of time, etc.

Anyway, pretty nice lyrics! It feels like a melancholic song, but also encouraging (the initial promo for the opening mentioned that it was a cheerful song, here). Reminds me a bit of Halo in some ways. Now, just to wait for the visuals.

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Sneaky fixes and little stuff I searched while writing

I made many, many messes writing WotQ. Some I corrected retroactively, e.g., Oscar was originally called "Chief Detective Superintendent Livingstone" in Captured although the title didn't exist yet when he was working at Scotland Yard.

In Chapter 1, I changed a sentence from "Cloudia put out her fan, which she had got by her cousin Constantia as a gift after she had visited Japan" to "Cloudia put out her fan, which she had got from her cousin Cathleen as a gift after she had received the opportunity to visit a small island in Japan". I sneakily fixed the grammar issue, the cousin (I honestly didn't even remember that I accidentally wrote Constantia instead until I looked up that sentence again... it was always supposed to be Cathleen), and included an explanation of how Cathleen could go to Japan during Sakoku (the small island is Dejima, the only place foreigners could visit; I mentioned that in the Freebird notes).

Most recently, I fixed this sentence from Captured while writing Destruction: "Say, Oscar, when was the last time we all have been here?" which, of course, does not make any sense because Cecelia is talking about the AoE gathering for the Hanged Men Case which was in London. They obviously wouldn't have come together at the manor then! (It's now "Say, Oscar, when was the last time we all have been together?")

Sometimes, I announce fixes if they're larger, but sometimes I just do it without a word... I updated the Ao3 version multiple times to fix small issues here and there. (I never fix up the chapters on tumblr, unless I catch an error right after posting. Like the stupid (but minor) Zucchini 2 mistake orz) For last year's anniversary, I rid myself of a set of sentences that have been bothering me for years in Frightening. Their removal did nothing but ease my mind. I also changed the wagon number in Ecstasy from Yvette and Jacques being four wagons ahead to five while puzzling out Locomotive Run.

I never do retroactive fixes that change up anything of consequence though, i.a. because that would be mean (how would anyone be able to figure anything out if everything kept changing retroactively? this isn't the One-Punch Man manga).

Other times, I cannot change a mistake retroactively because doing so would mean severe rewrites, e.g., the zucchini issue. Or, to add to the endless talk about trains, the corridor coach issue that began with Laughing Together, as I mentioned in the Ecstasy notes.

(As a background: I received The Wolves of Willoughby Chase when I was ten years old and reread it a lot in the following few years, but haven't done so in very long. It's a lovely book (Simon is an artist because of the Simon in that book! Though he wasn't named after him but after another fictional Simon.), and I was convinced the "only" changed historical aspect was the addition of wolves. Early on, a character takes a train with corridor coaches and gets told to "use the handbrake" if a stranger talks to her. If only I had bothered to open the book and check the author's note before writing Laughing Together all these years ago... You know, the author's note that starts with: "This book is set in a time of English history that has never existed - shortly after the coronation of Jacob III the Good in 1832." Well, at least that idiocy brought me Locomotive Run. (I've also since found out there's a whole trope about wrong train depictions. It's very common to get them wrong, apparently.))

It's ultimately all little stuff no one cares about but me. Apart from the one time, someone on FF.net told me that the Catholic Marcel could not possibly have children, no one has ever pointed anything out to me. He's a Protestant now, and I really wish I had just said Nicolette was his orphaned niece and not his daughter orz (Oh, and others pointed out the "verdadero" bit in Meeting the Queen, saying it was wrong - but that's their mistake, not mine.)

Anyway, all that has made me question myself a lot and I now google and check stuff more while writing. (That, of course, only reduces the amount of mess ups instead of completely eliminating them...)

Some stuff I can remember from the top of my head (and that I haven't mentioned in chapter notes yet; I did rather thorough ones lately, so there's not much else, I think):

"Now, at least, they weren’t packed like sardines in a can." (Locomotive Run) -> Were sardines canned in 1848? Yes, canned fish has been a thing since the late 18th century.

Parts of a train. (Locomotive Run) -> Looked up train vocabulary, particularly for the front bit where the driver is (the cab) and the most front "wagon" (that's the locomotive).

Parts of a church. (Malady 3) -> To be able to better describe their movement within the church. Nave, ambulatory, etc.

"down the rabbit hole" -> I remember that I wanted to use that idiom in Cloudia's POV while she was in the Witch's Castle, though cannot recall when/where exactly. I removed it because Alice in Wonderland came out in 1865, and that idiom didn't exist beforehand. (Cedric's POV includes "I fell into the rabbit hole to the Land of Sleep" in Travelling. He has Grim Reaper privileges, so it works here! I like having fun with his POV and including modern stuff, e.g. Merci Chocolate (existed since 1965) in Locomotive Run and Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion in Ecstasy.)

utility belt (Ecstasy, Locomotive Run) -> Milton has one of them. They came to be in the late 19th century (before, people did put stuff in their normal belts, but not in the Batman way, of course...) A very deliberate little anachronism on my side :) Just like...

radar technology (Destruction) -> No Overseas Watchdog Mission without some radar technology! This time dubiously provided by Milton. The history of radar didn't start until 1886 with Heinrich Hertz's experiments. (I actually looked up Ch97 of the manga again as a reference.) I just wrote whatever in the draft before looking up (more) accurate terminology. (You might have noticed that Cedric always calls the machine a "receiver" in his POV when Cloudia does not because of his GR privileges! Cloudia, however, does use display/screen because I couldn't think of a better word for her. Though I did reduce those instances a bit from draft to finished chapter.)

I once thought about doing a joke with Oscar putting on Tchaikovsky's July: Song of the Reaper when Cedric was around to mess with him. Unfortunately, it came out in 1876, so I can't do it. (Though Cedric could listen to it at some point!)

Another music-related joke that did not make it: When Kamden tells Cloudia that his latest crush's name is Elise in Affection, I wanted her to mention the Beethoven composition, "Für Elise". However, while it was composed in 1810, it was not published until 1867. I did write that bit though before removing it. I put it under the cut.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Only an hour,” he replied as they climbed the stairs. “And there weren’t many people here today. Only a couple and E…” Kamden cut himself off, and Cloudia didn’t have to see his face to know he was blushing.

She grinned. “‘E’ is such a lovely, simplistic name, though I prefer Chalchiuhtlicue.”

He hesitated before he said, “Her name is Elise.”

“That’s a very pretty name too. Sharing a name with a Beethoven composition is wonderful, but it must be awfully annoying to always be reminded of it – even worse if you play an instrument,” said Cloudia. They reached the apartment and walked through the narrow corridor to the living room. “For the rest of your life, everyone will request the same song from you. If this wasn’t such a maddening affair, I guess more people would name their children ‘Appassionata’ or ‘Moonlight Sonata.’ Even the inconspicuous ‘Thérèse’ comes with eternal haunting.”

Cloudia sat down on a sofa, but Kamden remained by the door. “She was indeed named after the bagatelle,” he said sheepishly.

----

And another version where I elaborated on Chalchiuhtlicue instead before deciding to scrap that too:

“She’s left, and I closed the shop for today,” said Kamden, blissfully unaware of Cloudia’s thoughts, and only then did Cloudia notice that the shop had emptied.

“Isn’t it a bit early?” Cloudia asked and took his hand, letting herself be pulled through the row of shelves to the staircase in the back that led to Kamden’s flat above.

“Only an hour,” he replied as they climbed the stairs. “And there weren’t many people here today. Only a couple and E…” Kamden cut himself off, and Cloudia didn’t have to see his face to know he was blushing.

She grinned. “‘E’ is such a lovely, simplistic name, though I prefer Chalchiuhtlicue.”

He hesitated before he said, “Her name is Elise.”

“Still a very beautiful name, but not comparable to the name of an Aztec goddess,” said Cloudia. They reached the apartment and walked through the narrow corridor to the living room where Cloudia promptly sat down on a sofa; Kamden remained by the door.

“Would you ever name a child after an Aztec deity?” Kamden asked.

“Why not? It’s not any different than naming children after Greek or Roman mythological figures,” Cloudia replied. “My own mother is a perfect example. And if someone cannot be bothered to try pronouncing ‘Chalchiuhtlicue’ or ‘Ītzpāpālōtl’ – or, for a boy, ‘Piltzintecuhtli’ – as correctly as they’re able to, I would not want them anywhere near my hypothetical children anyway.”

“You’re right,” Kamden said softly. “And ‘Chalchiuhtlicue’ is a pretty name,” he continued with a proud glint in his eyes.

“Though, I guess, to you, it’s not as pretty as ‘Elise.’” Cloudia teased, and Kamden’s face reddened.

[ao3-crack]

(x)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I hope you take this as the compliment it is intended to be, but you strike the same chord of irreverence-as-love, jokes-to-showcase-sencerity that I get from Chuck Tingle, and I adore both of you.

You have bestowed the greatest honour upon me.