#content warning: ed

[cappuccinco]

Cw: eating disorder (kinda?)

(Sorry if this post makes no sense my english sucks lol)

So i've had bad eating habbits on and off for most of my life (idk if i'd call it an ed but like i'd obssess over calories, starve myself, try to throw up, etc.) But i haven't done that in quite a while now (except for a few minor slip ups). And for the most part i haven't been thinking about it all the time like i used to. And I really thought i was done with all that.

But recently i changed adhd meds and one of the side effects of the new meds is that it makes me less hungry and have less of an appetite. And now i can't stop thinking about it. There was a day a couple weeks ago when i genuinely forgot to eat for the whole day and the moment i realised that it felt so... familiar. And strangely comforting. Like an old friend. I didn't realise i'd missed that feeling so much. And all of a sudden i'm spiralling back again. I've barely been eating except for when my mom makes lunch (which hasn't been happening a lot recently cause she's busy (and my dad doesn't cook because patriarchy lol)). I didn't eat much yesterday (and i think maybe a few days before that? I'm not sure) and i haven't eaten today (it's afternoon as i'm writing this). And i feel so light and my stomach feels empty and my body feels weak, which isn't supposed to be a good thing but it feels like it. When i came back home today i just had to stop at the store and buy a bunch of 0cal energy drinks because for some reason it feels really good drinking them on an empty stomache, and they also make it easier for me not to eat. I tell myself that i'm not doing it on purpose, that i genuinely just forget to eat. But come on, we know that's not true. It's on my mind all the time, i'm very aware that i'm not eating enough. It's not like i have a problem eating, i just feel less hungry. And i could force myself to eat a normal amount if i really wanted to.

I don't look at my body very often and i still don't (honetly i'm terrified to) but recently i've been constantly staring at my wrists, seeing how much smaller they got, how my bones stick out more.

And i don't even think it's really about losing weight this time, i've (for the most part) pretty much accepted my chubbier body. it's the sense of familiarity. I was addicted to that empy feeling for such a large amount of my life and it's just so comforting to feel that way again. It feels like coming back home. And seeing my body change, even though i didn't really mind the way it looked before, feels like an accomplishment, seeing the physical effect of what i'm doing.

I don't have a conclusion for this or anything, i just wanted to get the words out and share these thoughts with someone. And i can't talk about it to anyone irl without them worrying and trying to stop me so yeah;-;

I could say a lot more but honestly i'm tired of writing and i wanna go play the sims lol. (unrelated but the meds also kinda made me obssess over the sims?? Like I've been hyperfocusing on it almost every day since i started taking them. Anyway i'm not complaining, at least i get some dopamine for once lol. And it's not like i have anything better to do;-; )

[dollyie0]

“You will be tempted quite frequently. You will have to choose whether to enjoy yourself wholly for those 20 minutes or so that you will be consuming excess calories, or whether you will despise yourself cordially for the next three days.”

[emmaeatingdis0rd3r]

WHY DO MEN EXPECT YOU TO STAY SKINNY BUT GET ANNOYED WHEN YOU ORDER LOW CALORIE FOODS

Oh you want me to be visually appealing but eat a mcdonald's large meal with you twice a week? Sure, I'll just not eat the rest of the time so I don't annoy you with my "rabbit food" you entitled prick

[wl-princess11]

no taste of food can compare to the feeling you get when you tell someone you’ve been losing weight and they say “yeah i can tell” 🫠🎀🩰

[bloodycorpz3]

The anorexia leaving my body because someone told me to "just eat"

[beeetlesandfr0gs]

I WANNA SEE MY RIBS

I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS I WANNA SEE MY RIBS

[silentlosing]

! TW !

I co, znowu coś jesz i nie zapisujesz tego do bilansu? Myślisz, że jeśli tego nie uwzględnisz, to ten tłuszcz się magicznie nie odłoży? Oszukujesz sama siebie. Jeśli będziesz nadal tak postępować, to nawet za miesiąc czy rok nie schudniesz.

Jasne, wmawiaj sobie, że „jedna czekoladka nic nie zmieni”. Jasne, jedna nie. Ale jedna tu, jedna tam, kolejna gdzieś indziej, a sadło rośnie. Powinnaś się wstydzić. Jesteś obrzydliwa. Oszukujesz siebie i innych. Możesz to zrobić, ale swojego ciała nie oszukasz. Nie oszukasz cukru i kalorii z tego batonika. Nie zmienisz się, jeśli nadal będziesz tak postępować.

Szczerze mówiąc, to żałosne jak cholera i śmieszne. Siedzisz cały dzień na tyłku i oczekujesz, że będziesz szczupła. Mówisz, że chcesz szybszych rezultatów, ale nie robisz nic, żeby w tym pomóc. Cały czas tylko marudzisz i narzekasz. I na dodatek masz czelność nienawidzić siebie po obżarstwie. Nikt cię nie zmuszał do obżarstwa, tylko ty sama. Nikt cię nie zmuszał... dosłownie nikt. Ani rodzice, ani przyjaciele, ani nikt inny. Więc możesz próbować przebaczyć sobie ile chcesz, ale pamiętaj, że to wszystko było twoją własną zasługą.

To samo z jedzeniem. Masz kontrolę. MOŻESZ kontrolować ile i co jesz. Więc dlaczego ciągle jesz? Głoduj i już. I nie obchodzi mnie, jeśli mówisz „ale już to robię”, bo oczywiście nie robisz, skoro nie osiągnęłaś jeszcze swojego celu. Jesteś grubą i leniwą kluchą, która nie ma determinacji, żeby osiągnąć swój cel. Smutno mi na ciebie patrzeć, bo wszystko o czym myślę, to to, gdzie mogłabyś już być, gdybyś nie zawaliła tyle razy.

- - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - -

Dużo bardziej jestem aktywna prywatnie - tam cenzura Tumblra jeszcze nie dotarła - i bardzo chętnie będę Was wspierać i pomagać 🦋

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Kilka lat temu miałam tutaj bardzo aktywne konto, dwukrotnie reanimowane od zera (fatgirlpig). Niestety zdążyłam zauważyć, że tutejsze restrykcje są zdecydowanie zwielokrotnione od czasu mojego trzeciego bana. Nie będę starać się prowadzić na siłę bardzo aktywnego konta, gdyż z obecną cenzurą mija się to z celem. Niemniej będę wrzucać meanspo i porady od czasu do czasu.

[strv4bnes]

i wanna be skinny so when i get a hip tattoo & belly button piercing i can show them off without shame 🤗

[vamp33veela]

Eating unhealthy foods is just so unattractive ..

[catzhalo]

Does anyone wanna be ana buddies?

Here’s a little about me :

- 15, turning 16 in July

- I use he/him

- I have ana-r (used to have mia)

- I’m 98lbs/ 44.5kg now

- cgw : 90lbs/ 40.9kg

- ugw : 55lbs/ 25kg

- I am 5’4 / 163cm!!

If you do let me know and how you want to communicate !!

I prefer discord or snap but anything works :D

[spamziii]

going back to OMAD because truth is, OMAD never ever failed me

i feel great, energized and empty.

[scr3am1ngbutt3rfly]

Hiii,

I love ur themed diets, could you maybe make a rei from neon genisis evangelion themed one.

or if don't know her can you make a catholic bible angel themed one? My fav angel is Gabriel

My kcal limit is around 300 to 800 on week days and 1000-800 on weekends.

My dad forces me to eat dinner with him after he comes from work and to have 3 meals during the weekends. So I'm doing omad like 5 days.

Anyway, stay safe ૮ . . ྀིა⁩♡

Sorry it took so long to make this one I totally forgot :(

Spø:

[tinywriststinyhands]

Well besties. I’m absolutely humiliated and mortified because I’ve spent the last 6 months binging and wasting money on fast food because I’m stressed with work. I gained 20 lbs and none of my clothes fit right. I’ve just started a new job, in a new apartment, so I’m resolving to move forward with losing all this shit I put on my body these past few months.

[wl-princess11]

i know being boney isn’t seen as “attractive” but if i was that skinny, i wouldn’t worry about ANYTHING that i wanted to eat 🦋

[bloodycorpz3]

"Write something real"

"Something raw."

Ok.

I cling onto ana because I am nothing without it. It's always there, stuck in my mind. There is no healing or recovery when I am a walking wikipedia page of tips and tricks and a catalog rattled with nutrition information on every single thing I've ever eaten.

An apple is never just an apple, it is 103 calories, and that is my curse.

[armyn8758757]

⚠️WARNING⚠️

Contains swear words, content may be offensive to some people ❗️❗️❗️

I don't really know where the real source of the photo is because I found it on Pinterest :(

If anyone knows please help me

Yeah, some btch I met on Tumblr acted like they was "sPecIaL" 🥺😫✨️ by saying they didn't like our man 🙄

I can't take it anymore !

And hey !! They're like " oMg 😱!!! I'M dIfFeReNt fRoM OtHeR gIrlS beCaUsE i dOn'T lIkE miLkMaN LiKe tHeM 😇😊🥰😍🤩😘😚☺️😜🤪😝😏🥵🥶🤯🥺😭😱😨😰 !!!"

"oH No🥶 !! hE 🤯iS sO 🤧AnNoYinG😡 ThaT mAkE sLoWs🥱 dOwN my inTeRnEt sPeeD 😨😭"

"A bUnCH oF gUlLiBlE fAngIrlS 🙄😒🫤😨"

"hE kiNdA nOthInG bUrGer FoR me 🤯🥵🥶😭😱😨"

💔...

Hey, Francis..he didn't do anything wrong....

Why do they hate this poor guy ?..

LIKE STFU !!! YOUR PICK ME !!! ARE YOU TOO FREE TO HATE MILKMAN !?!!?

AND MILKMAN FANS HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING TO YOU BUT YOU'RE GOING CRAZY ON HERE !!!

Ah !! I REPEAT AGAIN !!! THIS FANDOM IT'S BUILT UP BY MILKMAN AND HIS FANS THAT WE HAVE THE STANDING WE HAVE TODAY !! OTHERWISE YOU GUYS COULDN'T BE TREASONABLE NOW !!!

Yes, you can call me rude !!

I'm just protecting my man !

I can't stand by and watch he get criticized !!

The haters loser 😒🙄