#confident no one will get this and it’ll be a self own

[sunsetmade]

Unspoken Looks

Frat! Rafe Cameron x Reader

Summary: After many stolen glances over the years another one of the frat parties finally pulls them together.

The bass from the music thumped through the walls of the frat house, vibrating in her chest as she stood by the wall, watching the chaos unfold. It was one of those nights where the noise, the drunken laughter, and the chatter blended together into a background hum, almost like a living, breathing organism. She had never been great at parties, preferring quieter, more intimate settings, but tonight… tonight felt different.

Tonight, she couldn’t ignore the way the whole night seemed to buzz with anticipation. Or maybe it was just the way her stomach fluttered every time her eyes landed on one person.

Rafe Cameron.

She had known him for a while now. He was the kind of guy people didn’t mess with, the one who always had a smug smile and an air of confidence that was impossible to ignore. She had watched him at parties before, his easy charisma drawing people in like moths to a flame. But this time, she noticed something else. A shift.

Every time his eyes met hers across the room, something unspoken passed between them—something that sent her pulse racing, her cheeks flushing. But she’d never acted on it. She was too shy, too self-conscious. And Rafe… Rafe was the kind of guy who could have any girl he wanted. So why would he even care about her?

It wasn’t like she didn’t try to avoid him. She had enough going on in her life to keep her distracted, and besides, the thought of being vulnerable around someone like him was terrifying. The way he carried himself, like he owned the room—it was a kind of power that made her stomach churn and her mind race.

Tonight, she had been roped into coming by her friends. “It’ll be fun,” they’d said, urging her to get out of her comfort zone. And now, here she was, leaning against the wall with a drink in her hand, too shy to venture into the madness of the crowd but too curious to leave.

She caught sight of Rafe again, standing by the kitchen counter with a group of guys. He was laughing, the sound rich and deep, and his presence seemed to draw people in effortlessly. There was a magnetism to him, something dangerous and alluring all at once. His hair was messy in that effortlessly perfect way, and his eyes—God, his eyes—were constantly scanning the room. He looked almost like he was waiting for something, but she couldn’t figure out what.

Her gaze lingered on him for a moment too long, and just as she was about to look away, she caught his eye.

He didn’t look away.

A shiver ran down her spine as her heart skipped a beat. It was always like this—her mind racing while her body froze in place. She could feel the warmth of his stare, like he was studying her, seeing her in a way no one ever did. She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t. She wasn’t sure if she was drawn to him or terrified by him, but the effect was the same. It left her breathless.

Rafe’s lips twitched into that familiar smirk, the one that made every girl in the room weak in the knees. But there was something different in his eyes, something softer, like a hint of curiosity. He didn’t approach, though. He just stood there, watching her, waiting.

She quickly turned her attention back to her drink, trying to ignore the heat creeping up her neck. She knew that look. It was the same look he had given her the last time they’d crossed paths in the hallway, just before she’d awkwardly stumbled over her words and rushed past him. But tonight, it felt like it carried more weight.

A few minutes passed before she felt a tap on her shoulder. She startled, almost spilling her drink, and turned to find her friend, Natalie, grinning at her.

“Come on, girl. You’ve been standing here forever. You’re missing the fun!” She tugged at her sleeve, practically pulling her away from the wall. “You’re looking at him again, aren’t you?”

Her eyes darted back to Rafe, but he was no longer looking her way. Instead, he was in the middle of a conversation with a couple of his fraternity brothers, laughing at something they’d said. She quickly looked away, suddenly feeling exposed. “I wasn’t—” She stopped herself. It was pointless. Natalie knew. She always knew.

She raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying her denial. “You know, he’s been staring at you all night. You should talk to him.”

She felt her stomach drop. “What? No way,” she muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t think he’s even noticed me, Nat. He’s probably just—”

“Bullshit.” Natalie cut her off with a playful shove. “You’re both too obvious, it’s painful to watch.”

Her face heated, and she could feel a nervous laugh bubbling up. “He’s not interested in me, Nat.”

“You sure about that?” she asked, her tone teasing. “Because I’m pretty sure that guy has been eyeing you up all night. And he’s not the type to give anyone a second look unless he’s into them.”

She shook her head, her heart pounding. “He’s too—he’s Rafe Cameron. He doesn’t care about someone like me.”

“Someone like you?” Natalie scoffed. “What does that even mean? You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re beautiful. Don’t sell yourself short, girl.”

But before she could respond, Natalie was already pushing her toward the crowd, grinning all the while. She didn’t have time to argue with her. She was too busy trying to avoid looking at Rafe again, too busy trying to ignore the feeling that he did care. That maybe, just maybe, there was something more to those stolen glances.

The party felt louder now, more suffocating as she wove through the crowd with Natalie. She pulled her toward a circle of people dancing near the living room, and though she felt completely out of place, she tried her best to blend in. The music was blaring, and her nerves were on overdrive, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Rafe was still somewhere in the back of her mind. She tried to focus on the moment, on the people around her, but every time she glanced to the side, there he was, leaning against the doorway with that smug grin on his face.

But he wasn’t looking at her anymore.

Instead, he was watching his friends, laughing at something one of them said. His eyes were distant, the same way they always were, as though he had something on his mind, something he wasn’t ready to share. For a split second, she felt an odd ache in her chest, like maybe he was thinking about her too.

But then he looked over at her again, and her breath caught in her throat.

Rafe’s smirk faltered for a moment, a flicker of something she couldn’t quite place crossing his face. His eyes locked onto hers, and for the first time that night, he pushed away from the wall and started walking toward her.

The crowd seemed to thin and blur around her as Rafe started moving. She couldn’t look away. He was walking like he had all the time in the world, but his eyes stayed fixed on her, like he didn’t care who was watching. Her breath hitched, and her fingers clenched around the red Solo cup in her hand.

She didn’t know what she expected—maybe for him to veer off at the last second, to stop and talk to someone else, to pretend like he hadn’t been looking at her for the past hour—but he didn’t.

He came right up to her.

“Hey.” His voice was low, rough in that familiar, lazy way. He was close enough now that she could smell his cologne—clean, masculine, with a sharp edge of something woodsy underneath. It sent her stomach into a slow somersault.

“H-hi,” she managed, instantly wanting to shrink into herself. Her voice sounded too soft compared to the pulse of the music, but Rafe heard her anyway. His eyes flicked down to her cup, then back up to her face.

“You good?” he asked, his head tilting slightly. His voice was quieter now, just for her. “You don’t really look like you wanna be here.”

That caught her off guard. Not because he was wrong—but because he noticed. Most people never did. She wasn’t the kind of girl who drew attention, not in a room full of loud, outgoing personalities. But Rafe Cameron—he saw her.

She glanced down. “I’m okay,” she said softly. “Just not really a… party person, I guess.”

Rafe’s lips quirked up at that. Not a full smile, but enough to make something flutter low in her stomach. “Yeah. Figured. You’re not like them.”

She blinked. “Them?”

He leaned against the wall beside her, his shoulder almost touching hers, his tone more casual now. “The ones who need a crowd to feel good about themselves. You’re different.”

She wasn’t used to compliments—especially not from guys like him. Her heart was beating so fast she was sure he could hear it.

“I don’t really know what to say to that,” she admitted, giving a tiny, nervous laugh.

Rafe looked at her, really looked, and for a moment, the noise of the party felt miles away. “You don’t have to say anything.”

And just like that, they stood there, side by side, in the middle of chaos. Not talking. Not pretending. Just… being.

The quiet between them wasn’t awkward—it was charged. Like both of them were waiting for the other to move first.

She dared to glance at him out of the corner of her eye. He looked relaxed, but there was a tension in his jaw, in the way his fingers tapped slowly against the edge of his drink. And when he looked back at her, his gaze was unreadable.

“Why’d you come tonight?” he asked after a beat. “If you don’t like parties.”

She hesitated, her fingers curling around her cup. “My friends dragged me out. Said I needed to stop hiding.”

Rafe nodded slowly, like he understood. “You don’t seem like you’re hiding.”

She gave him a small smile. “You don’t know me.”

“Not yet.”

Her heart stuttered. There it was—that sharp, flirty edge to his voice. It wasn’t cocky, not like she’d seen him be with other girls. It was soft. Curious. Like he wasn’t just trying to get something from her—he was trying to see her.

Before she could say anything else, Natalie appeared at her side, her expression full of mischief. “There you are,” she said brightly, not missing the way Rafe’s body shifted slightly, almost like he was instinctively stepping in closer. “I see you’ve found someone to talk to.”

The look she shot her was subtle but clear: Oh my God. He’s actually talking to you.

She flushed, trying to act normal. “Yeah, we were just—”

“I was just stealing her for a bit,” Rafe said smoothly, cutting in before she could finish. His tone wasn’t possessive, but it was protective in a way that made her heart jump. “She’s safe with me.”

Natalie raised a brow at that but didn’t press. “Alright, alright,” she said, smirking. “I’ll let you two get back to… whatever this is.”

When she was gone, Rafe turned to her again, a half-smile playing on his lips. “Your friend’s got a big mouth.”

“She means well,” she said, laughing softly.

“I can tell.” He glanced down at her again. “So… do you want to stay in here? Or do you want to get some air?”

She hesitated.

“Not trying anything,” he added quickly, holding up a hand. “Just figured you might want a break from all the noise.”

That alone—the fact that he noticed, that he cared enough to ask—was enough to make her heart melt.

“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I’d like that.”

Rafe didn’t say anything. He just gave her a short nod, then gently touched her wrist to guide her through the crowd. It wasn’t even a full touch—just his fingers brushing lightly against her skin—but it sent a jolt of warmth through her entire body.

They stepped out through the side door into the cool night air. The noise from inside dulled behind them, replaced by the chirp of crickets and the hum of distant traffic. The porch was mostly empty, just a couple of people off in the corner smoking.

Rafe sat on the railing, legs spread slightly, and gestured for her to join him. She leaned against the post beside him, her arms crossed, the tension in her chest finally beginning to ease.

“I don’t usually do this,” she admitted after a moment. “Talk to people like this.”

He tilted his head, watching her. “People like me?”

She smiled a little. “Yeah. You’re… kind of intimidating.”

Rafe laughed at that. “That’s a first.”

She shook her head. “It’s not a bad thing. You just have this way about you. Like you know exactly what you’re doing.”

He looked away then, toward the dark street beyond the lawn. “That’s not true,” he said quietly. “Most of the time I have no idea what I’m doing.”

His honesty caught her off guard. He didn’t sound bitter, just… real.

“I don’t believe that,” she said softly.

He looked back at her. “You should.”

They held each other’s gaze for a long moment. No one said anything. There was so much unsaid—years of mutual glances, of missed chances, of quiet admiration. All of it building toward this.

Finally, she asked the question that had been sitting on her chest for weeks.

“Why do you always look at me like that?”

Rafe blinked, startled. “Like what?”

“Like you’re trying to figure me out.”

He paused, then shrugged slightly. “Because I am.”

“Why?”

His voice was low when he answered. “Because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Her breath caught. The world seemed to tilt slightly on its axis.

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Rafe rubbed a hand over his jaw, like he wasn’t sure he should’ve said it out loud.

“I don’t expect anything,” he added quickly. “I just… I think about you a lot. More than I probably should. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

She stepped closer to him without thinking, drawn in by the way his voice softened, by the way he looked like he meant every word.

“I think about you too,” she said.

That was it. Just five words—but they were enough to change everything.

Rafe looked at her like he wasn’t sure he heard her right. Then his expression shifted—softened—and something in his shoulders relaxed.

But still, neither of them moved. Neither of them kissed the other. It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t fast.

It was slow. Careful. A shared understanding that they were both scared, but they wanted to try anyway.

Rafe leaned back slightly, like he didn’t want to push her too far too fast.

“You cold?” he asked gently, noticing the way her arms were still crossed.

She nodded a little, and without a word, he pulled off the flannel he had layered over his shirt and handed it to her.

She hesitated, then took it, slipping it on. It was warm and smelled like him.

“Thanks.”

He gave her a soft smile. “Anytime.”

And for a long while, they just sat there on the porch together, not saying much. Just being near each other. The air between them thick with the possibility of something more.

[tired-chimera]

HOLY SHIT ITS THE PRIME DEFENDERS!!!!

[1980shorrorfilm]

power & control

pairing…lottie matthews x fem!reader x shauna shipman

in which…when lottie grows distant, another yellowjacket finds you alone.

before you read…18+. angst. smut. silly shauna activities. blood drinking. the wilderness.

you’re pissed. 

it was meant to be a date. a picnic near the blossoming meadow on your poorly stitched blanket, away from the chaos of your peers, away from the faces lottie seemed to appreciate more than yours these days. 

travis and akilah. 

they’re the first people she greets in the morning, never waiting for you to wake these days, up and out of the tent and to them.

there are nights where lottie joins you in bed, and it’ll be the first full conversation you’re able to have before she dozes off nuzzled in your neck. the most physical contact she’s able to give you as of late, along with quick pecks on the apples of your cheeks on luckier days.

and it drives you mad, coming to realize that you care more. that the newfound gap between you two is seemingly only a problem on your end; she has bigger things to worry about. 

you trust lottie, and you have faith in her beliefs, but it does not make the sudden absence any easier.

especially today, now, as you sit alone by the wild flowers, your food already finished, and no desire to return to camp. there was no point, lottie would be gone anyway, and you’d just receive pity glares from your nosy friends.

“shit…this is just sad.”

your head snaps in the direction of the voice, eyes landing on shauna. her appearance doesn’t surprise you, you’re more shocked she didn’t follow you the minute you had left. perhaps it was the lack of lottie by your side, you no longer acting as her shadow, that shauna found confidence in fucking with you more. 

bumping into you frequently with a meaningless ‘sorry,’ whispered in your ear, or being…kinder, when her hands glide along the lower side of your back when she maneuvers behind you—it all depended on her mood. desperate to see you irritated, or flustered. 

when lottie is at the caves and you’re sat alone near the fire, she joins you, but she doesn’t converse. she sits and eyes you, examining you, either an act of intimidation or something you cannot explain.

it always ends with you huffing and storming to your and lottie’s tent, laying on your empty makeshift bed wishing she was there; giving you the attention shauna was.

and you feel humiliated for having to wish for such a thing.

“all alone out here…while your girlfriend is…with another girl?” 

you squint at her through your sunglasses, the girl leaning her back on a tree and sliding down it. she sits, a stone from the river in one hand and her knife in the other, scraping the metal against the rock. her eyes don’t leave you.

“not in the mood, shipman,” you say bluntly, returning to your comfortable position of lying down, eyelids closing behind the scratched-up lenses. you knew it wasn’t going to stop her, you could practically hear her thinking out loud. how to bug you more.

“you two break up or something?” shauna questions, partly serious and partly to get in your head. the idea you were no longer lottie’s…whatever you are, makes her damn near elated. then you wouldn’t follow her around like a lost fucking dog, god, shauna hated that. 

she hates sheep. you’re your own person and you treat lottie like your personal lord and savior, someone that clearly has so much power over you, you’re sulking in the woods because she didn’t want to join your little picnic.

at least she’s here to keep you company. even if it’s the worst kind. you should be grateful for her, really. 

“weren’t…dating,” you tell her, tone unsure with self-doubt, and shauna smirks. she gets in your head so easily. she goes silent, but her stare is loud, intense, and it seems like she’s sharpening her knife harder. or, it sounds like it.

her mouth opens again.

“you should give up. i mean, what do you think they’re doing right now? lottie says akilah helps her, right?” no, she did not word it like that, and shauna is well aware their time together is meant to benefit the entire group. her only goal right now is to feed the fire already burning inside of you.

she continues to speak nonchalantly, “i wonder what she’s helping her with.”

her brown eyes steady on you, trailing up your bare legs, to the hem of your shorts. she feels her mouth go dry. 

how the fuck did lottie get so lucky? lottie, out of all people? and just to leave you here, alone, while she’s communicating with the trees through another girl. shauna almost feels sorry for you. except, right now, she’s feeling something entirely different. something primal. 

she hums, head down and focused on the weapon in her hands, “no wonder your tents been so quiet…guess you’re not wanted.”

“fuck you,” you tell her lowly as soon as her mouth shuts, finally forcing yourself to sit up and acknowledge her. you take off the glasses, boring your eyes into her dark ones, but the confidence you had in challenging her, fades into the oblivion. 

you shrink into yourself, “can’t you do that somewhere else?”

“i don’t want to,” she says it like you’re stupid for even suggesting it.

you huff, with no desire to leave, and let her have this. you redirect your gaze ahead of you, hers never wavering. 

you manage to block her out for a while, lost in your own lottie-filled thoughts. wondering if she’s back at camp, or with akilah, or with travis. your last thought being if she thought of you at all, and wanted to see you. 

probably not. like shauna said, you’re not wanted.

you squeeze your eyes shut, only hearing the scrapping of shauna’s knife, growing more agitated by the second.

“is it not fucking sharp enough?” you groan, tossing your head back before looking at her once more. suddenly, she stops, and you freeze in place. 

shauna gets up, a blank expression on her face while she walks toward you, not minding the look of irritation on your face when her dirty shoes step on your blanket. she kneels before you, knees locking inches from yours, and the knife still very present in her calloused palm.

“i don’t know,” she says dumbly and points it at you, “you tell me.”

your pupils grow, falling to the sharp metal, then back to her face. her expression is serious and daring, leaving you puzzled with what she’s trying to request.

you wouldn’t be surprised if she wanted to you plunge it into your own heart.

you blink at her, and shauna laughs dryly, finding it cute how you seem to be waiting for some sort of instructions.

“touch it,” she says quietly, and now you want to laugh at her. what a stupid and childish request. you scoff and oblige, fingertip on the edge of the blade, thin and sharp just like how shauna intended it to be.

easy to cut through the toughest wood or the thickest meat.

a noise nearby distracts you from the moment, peering in the direction and quickly retreating your hand, managing to slice yourself in the process—which you don’t register until the stinging sensation pricks at your skin, blood forming at the surface. 

you don’t spot anyone or anything lurking around the trees, a cool breeze brushing against your bare skin that assures you it was only the wind in the first place. 

“jeez—paranoid much?” shauna laughs at you, grabbing your gaze again, “believe it or not, lottie isn’t in the fucking trees.”

you roll your eyes, while hers are on your fresh injury, at the tip of your pointer finger. your hand is tilted, the crimson forming an uneven trail down to your palm, dripping off halfway and on shauna’s beige pants—an immediate stain. 

you expect a scolding, but you don’t receive it, shauna is too busy eyeing you like the world’s biggest feast. without a word being said, she rests her knife beside her, her hand now holding yours, pulling it away from you and—to her mouth. 

for a split second, she stalls, an opportunity for you to react, even curse her out. 

you don’t. 

her lips part, closing around your finger, hungry tongue tracing the blood and swallowing, drinking you in. you should be grossed out, you really think you should, and push her away and yell at her and just do something.

she’s pulling you in, soft cheeks hollowing while she sucks away the dark metallic syrup, she looks like a vampire. the beautiful ones hung up on large portraits in dark castles, leaving you mesmerized and dizzy in a trance. 

then, she bites you. right above your knuckle, a whimper at the sharp unexpected pain that causes her to smirk around your finger. it wakes you from whatever the fuck you just felt, retreating your hand and holding it to your chest, “the fuck, shipman.”

“you’re such a…” you continue, when a figure emerges from your peripheral vision, causing your sentence to halt. your head turns, to lottie, arms crossed and studying the sight before her…she despises it. 

lottie clears her throat, “shauna, can you give us a moment?”

shauna chews the inner of her cheek, wishing you had any sort of backbone to tell her to fuck off and go back to akilah. she mutters beneath her breath as she stands; you only catch ‘puppy.’

“sure,” shauna begins to walk away, pausing in place to face you once more, “my tent will be empty at sundown—if you care.”

there’s an annoying sly grin on her face, one that shrinks and dies when she turns around and meets lottie, her tan hand locking around shauna’s forearm. 

“she doesn’t,” lottie speaks politely, staring at her like she could set her aflame with the power of her brown irises.

shauna appears similar, just ice rather than fire. anything she wants to tell lottie, freezes on her tongue, both girls having an unspoken staring contest before shauna tugs her arm back. she accepts defeat, glancing back at you with a scoff, then walking away, taking the path to camp.

now, lottie is zeroing in on you. she feels disrespected. 

lottie isn’t certain of many things, leaving fate and what’s meant to be in the hands of the wilderness, simply putting trust in what’s out of her control. but you—you’re different. she has you, all of you, in the palm of her hands and coursing through her veins every passing second in these woods. 

that’s why she’s here. 

lottie knew something was wrong…she couldn’t explain, but she felt it—the reason she parted ways with akilah earlier than usual. halfway to the cave and she stopped in her tracks, a deer sensing the car before seeing the headlights. the picnic. 

she remembered, your sweet offer that she so hurriedly declined. her heart dropped, even akilah saw it on her face; she had to find you.

and she did, with shauna. the knife, the blood, the unbreakable eye contact between you two. shauna was taking what wasn’t hers, what didn’t belong to her, you. and that is not right.

“you shouldn’t get close to her like that. you know better.”

“…what?”

“you’re not stupid, don’t act like it,” lottie continues to talk down to you like you’re a child, shoes kicking loose dirt while she walks toward you, hovering above your sat figure. 

“i—she joined me because you wouldn’t,” you try to defend yourself, looking up at her. the sun is shining directly above the canopy of trees, and it casts a light glow on the outline of her body. she looks like an angel. her mood, however, is the opposite.

still, you don’t back down.

“speaking of, akilah see anything yet? a cool vision? i dunno—a helicopter finding us? some fucking ambiguous hikers? or—”

“i suggest you quit talking,” lottie cuts you off, voice raising just a pinch, then she kneels to meet your line of sight. somehow it’s more intimidating than her literally towering over you.

her hand abruptly grabs the one shauna previously held, inspecting the minor wound. disgust flickers over her face, reimagining shauna’s actions, an act of intimacy that she’s forbidden from.

she clears her throat, her pupils moving rapidly as she looks through you, “do you not have faith?”

“i didn’t say that.”

“is that what this is? did she get in your head?”

“no,” you practically spit the answer at her, voice thick and impatient with her accusations, but it’s not enough for her to drop this.

“it’s you and me. it’s always been that way…don’t tell me you want otherwise.”

her statement is inquisitive, and according to your diverted eyes and silence, lottie doesn’t get the reassurance she needs. 

she leans in closer, hand cupping beneath your chin and forcing you to focus on her. she can not lose you, not your wholehearted trust, not your compassionate devotion, not your undying love. 

especially not to the driving force that is shauna shipman. 

“what do you want?” 

it is a pretty open question that has a trillion answers—but lottie only wants one. it’s difficult to put aside your bitterness regarding her failure to balance you and the wilderness, but it’s so easy to give into her touch, and boring doe eyes that have you under an unbreakable spell. 

she’s sucking you in, and despite it all, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

you pause, “…you.”

for a second, her expression stills, then comes the warm inviting smile that you had fallen for years ago. her hand is still gentle under your chin, thumb on your jaw when she closes the gap between you two, lips locking with yours; and locking your answer in the process.

lottie is right. it will always be her. yet, she challenges you, whispering against your mouth, “prove it.”

you pull away, shortly examining lottie; the subtle energy shift that you’re familiar with. her needs. 

“c’mon, show me,” her voice is soft, fingers hooking through the loops of your shorts, teasingly tugging you closer. you gulp, a thin layer of sweat already painting her sweet skin and making your appetite grow; you can’t resist her.

she huffs when you shove her on the blanket, a satisfied look on her pretty face and canines showing. she props herself on her elbows, steadying herself for the sudden—and frenzied—kiss you’re immediately giving her, holding her head in place while mindlessly grinding into her lap. 

“come on,” her words are lowly muffled against your lips, but the desperation is really fucking loud. and maybe if you weren’t so lottie-deprived, you’d drag this out and make her whine for it. maybe. 

instead, your hand is already snaking its way past the waistband of her shorts, sinking into her underwear and feeling how wet it is. she is. lottie is eager and anticipating, bucking her hips up with a lazy toothy smile, breathing heavily before you’ve even begun. 

again, she repeats herself, gutturally speaking through her teeth, “come on.”

her hands are wrapped around your arm, moving with you when you palm her cunt, her heavy slick making it easy to rub in lazy circles, lottie losing her breath completely at the feeling. 

she refuses to break eye contact, clit puffy and pulsating each time your wrist moves in a specific motion that you’re repeating again and again—her entrance clenching around the mere idea of your fingers entering her. 

she’s about to say the two words again when you lean forward and shut her up with another hazy and messy kiss—two fingers gradually entering her simultaneously—causing her teeth to clamp down on your bottom lip hard.

you groan in pleasure, ignoring the way she had broke your skin and the blood that raced to the area.

meanwhile, she’s relishing it. it’s her turn, after all.

your digits sink into her deeper, lottie moaning and moving her mouth with yours, tasting the last fruit on your tongue clashing with the dark red iron. you taste fucking amazing. she’s willing to risk death to suffocation rather than ever parting your lips. 

you missed this, her, being hungry for you—not for something else. you make her cry when you lean your head back, lottie trying to chase you frantically. 

“gotta promise me,” you rush out, hand stalled on her chest and pausing her from eating your face, “that you want me too—that you want me more than…”

you trail off because it doesn’t need to be spoken out loud. she understood you clearly. you notice by how the blood momentarily drains from her face, but she recovers fast when your fingers slowly retreat. her grip on your arm hardens. 

she nods, willing to accept the consequences of her promise, “i do.”

lottie yelps right after she gives you her answer, your fingers thrusting back inside of her, deeper than she could ever imagine. your other hand is around her throat—your injured finger placed right on a little birthmark you kissed during sleepless nights. 

with caution, you apply a light pressure that heightens the sensitivity between her thighs, the sun shining down and making her hotter than you currently are with your touch. everything feels perfect. 

she thinks she may just be transcending to another dimension, heaven, and she begins to cry your name like a prayer, eyes now falling shut, rolling in the back of her head.

she drops her arms, palms flat and nails digging into the blanket, to the dirt beneath it.

her body shakes, your pace relentless. there’s a soft breeze, that becomes something more, heavy and causes the trees around you to sway. the leaves rustle loudly, and lottie lets out an animalistic moan, almost a shout, and a cry to the wilderness surrounding you.

in her own way, she does transcend. you bring her to a high, that nothing, or no one, could ever replicate and replace.

she’s at peace with that.

after another hour of laying with lottie, you return to camp, hand in hand, straight to your tent; shauna watching.

[lovieku]

ORDINARY THINGS ⋆ 정국

after a lost match, jeongguk’s only source of comfort is you.

୨ৎ from the grande series

pairings: soccer captain!jk x fem!reader

genre: fluff, established relationship

warnings: lower case intended, i wanna say that i know very little about soccer, even more about what goes on behind the scenes, but of course i had to put jeongguk in bellingham’s iconic holey socks hehe 😻, it’s a bit angsty at first just bc ggukkie is an angsty boy, but then all of it is just fluff really! hints at mental illness, heavy use of the pet name baby, they’re so funny i love them, theyre also horny! only mentions of sex tho, and sexy kisses and touches keke

word count: 6990

a/n: waaa omg i managed to keep this under 10k words who’s proud of me! this is so slow but im in love w their domestic dynamic 🙁

────୨ৎ────

the piercing whistle cuts through the air.

it marks the official end of the match, sealing the loss of your boyfriend’s team. the sound feels sharp, final, not only to the game.

you knew this was fairly important. it wasn’t too decisive on the team’s position in the ranking, but you knew it mattered to him. like every other game, regardless of stakes.

whether it was a friendly or a tournament, jeongguk had no other mode but all in.

that dedication shows in every tense line of his body now. the weight of defeat begins to sink in, and you can see it on his face, the way it affects him.

you can already sense what’s swirling around in his mind, behind the quiet exterior. you’re sure of it from how he still stands there, avoids his surroundings, keeps his eyes glued to the ground, the green field suddenly more captivating.

you don’t need words to know. he’s retreating inward, locking away his disappointment, and likely taking on more than just the burden of his own loss.

he’s probably thinking of his teammates, feeling like he let them down too. allowing it all to crash on him, the single outcome of this match unraveling everything he worked hard for.

his confidence shatters with the referee’s whistle, and it shuts down the noise of the crowd, makes him unresponsive to the comforting pats on his back from his friends. it’s all a distant hum to him now.

jeongguk is deliberately slow as he almost mechanically leads his exhausted self out the pitch, body moving without his mind’s consent.

he doesn’t care if it’ll take him forever to take these steps. if he’s the last one leaving. he just needs a moment to figure out his next move.

but can he? can he face his team without this ugly feeling gnawing at him? can he keep lying, tell them they did well, that they’ll do better next time, while his own mask suffocates him? is he even deserving of the captain title?

he doubts it, his legs moving as if the world has time to offer him, body struggling under the weight of a lifeless feeling creeping in.

your heart clenches painfully. from the sidelines, watching him like this breaks something in you.

you grip the hem of your tennis skirt, fingers twitching as you fight the crazed urge rising in your throat to just run to him.

it’s hard to find your breaths when witnessing your boyfriend destroying himself as if that’s the only treatment he thinks he’s deserving of. but you also know the last thing you want to do right now is to draw more attention to him when he’s so raw, vulnerable. when every eye in the stadium strips him bare.

and you just want to put his every piece back, cover him in warmth. your mind is made up when you abruptly stand up, hastily making your way toward the locker room before he can get there, offering polite smiles to the players who are already getting inside.

you settle outside the door, waiting.

jeongguk drags behind the others, eyes still casted down. he’s so absorbed in his escape, so lost in the act of avoidance, that you’re certain he won’t notice you, with your beating heart held out to him in your cold hands.

yet, he does find some sort of answer in the ground he keeps staring at, asking for solutions.

amidst the worn, muddied football boots, he spots your shoes. dr. martens platforms, the ones you pair with white socks that ruffle at the top.

the sight is enough to pull him out of his daze, and he looks up.

the door to the locker room closes behind the last player, the heavy thump echoing in the long hallway. it startles you, just as jeongguk’s sudden awareness startles him, and you search for some sort of stability in each other’s eyes.

his own are glossy with unshed tears, and they glisten under the harsh fluorescent light. it doesn’t help the way his vision gets blurrier and pulls you farther from him.

but he needs to see you— the comfort in your face, the one that he feels as though he can’t breathe without.

jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut, the tears slipping free, but the moment he flutters his eyelids open and meets you clearly, he doesn’t care.

his wide, tear-filled gaze takes you in. brows drawn up, your expression seems to mirror his. you’ve always absorbed people’s emotions to an almost extreme degree. when others cry, so do you. and when jeongguk cries, it feels like the whole world is falling apart.

but you can’t afford that happening, and you’ll hold its full weight on your shoulders to prevent such thing.

this time, you need to be stronger for him. swallowing the lump rising in your throat, you blink back your own tears and take a hesitant step toward him.

jeongguk, so much taller than you, seems to shrink before your eyes. right now, he’s the smallest, most fragile boy.

“baby,” your voice is a soft whisper, arms stretching open in a subtle invitation, one that he doesn’t need to be asked twice.

the moment you speak and break the quiet, the dam he’s been holding up crumbles. he crashes into you, hands wrapping tightly around your waist, his nose buried in the crook of your neck.

the impact makes you stumble slightly, but you hold him just as tight in return, focusing on his sharp breaths against your skin, wet with his tears, body trembling in your embrace.

your arms wrapped around his neck, you squeeze him hard, as if he’s a sponge that you’re trying to empty from all the dirty liquid. all the exhaustion, the anxiety, the guilt.

with the way he downright drops his full weight on you, you guide him to sit on the bench just outside the locker room. he slumps beside you, heavy and limp against you, seeking your warmth and comfort the way an addict seeks for the drug that’s able to keep them going.

you sit like that for a while, and you think it’s better this way. he has time to let it out against your chest, and you have the time that you need to compose yourself before you’re met with the full extent of his brokenness.

the second you see his tear stricken face, you think all of the effort was useless. you’re so, so weak.

jeongguk hiccups, lifts his face, his wide eyes flitting between yours like one would follow a tennis match at his peak point, searching for something, the smallest indicator of victory.

the tears make his cheeks red, and it adds to the frantic pleading he trips on, “b—baby, please. i don’t— i’m tired. wanna— home—“

“hey, gguk. ggukie, breathe,” you’re gentle when you cut him off, taking his face between your small palms to try and steady his panic, and mostly yourself. you’re fighting hard to not break too, to try and be the anchor he needs.

you take exaggerated deep breaths, hoping he’ll mirror you, and after a few moments his chest rises and falls in sync with yours, warm breath fanning over your lips.

imperceptibly, you feel his panic begin to ebb. his brows relax and his eyelids blink slower, regaining consciousness of his surroundings.

his hands reach up, covering yours as they rest at his jaw, squeezing them, and he exhales shakily, still not fully over his agitation, “i’m sorry. i wanna go home. i don’t— don’t wanna do interviews, don’t wanna see anyone. don’t wanna talk to coach. i just wanna be with you, please.”

his speech is hushed, pleading, his words slurred as if afraid you’re going to stop him, force him to go through the motions of what’s expected of him before he can beg further.

you brush his cheek with your thumb in a slow motion, moving him closer to you, your voice as careful as possible, “but, jeongguk… we can’t disappear without at least telling the others. coach will want you to answer—“

“please, love. please,” he cuts you, words trembling, “don’t make me go through this. i’m too weak now. i can’t.”

you’ve never seen jeongguk like this before.

it’s been over two years since he asked you to be his girlfriend. that night, he scored a goal for you. you knew it the moment the ball hit the net.

even with his teammates swarming him in celebration, his eyes searched for yours, locking on the moment he found you in the stands.

wrapped in your wool scarf, your face almost fully hidden, the way your eyes turned into crescents and your cheekbones so prominent was unmistakable.

the smile that you shared was sheepish, but brimming with meaning. carrying all those emotions you had both been tiptoeing around for so long.

for a while, your feelings had been caught in a slow dance, never fully picking up, but nonetheless comfortable with the motion.

jeongguk always found a reason to have you near, inviting you to practices and matches, because only your presence could give him the strength needed. and you always found a reason to show up.

even more when you easily fell into the routine that followed every encounter, evenings spent at your apartment, on your couch.

it was a schedule you soon came to love, with him making you laugh, an arm draped over your shoulder, your leg casually resting across his lap. the movies you would put on would quickly become background noise as his playful jokes turned into shared glances, quiet giggles, and stolen kisses.

kisses that felt like the ones teenagers share when they’re crushing on someone for the very first time.

kisses that didn’t evolve into anything more until that night, when he scored for you. it was unashamedly sweet, the feeling he gave you.

back at his flat, his face lit up with a grin so big it was infectious. the rush of adrenaline from winning the game and the joy of finally making you his girlfriend radiated from him.

it’s a stark contrast to his expression, now. it’s drawn with helplessness, clouded with a desperation that makes you ache.

he looks tired of fighting, of holding it all together. and it’s not just that— there’s a deep yearning, a frantic search, a needy plea to be understood, to be seen by you.

there’s nothing that truly comes more innately to you. it’s second nature, caring for him. knowing him. looking after him. tending to his physical and emotional scars. and you don’t want him to scrape his skin further.

you try to reason, “what— what about your things, don’t you at least want to—“

“i’ll ask taehyung to take my bag with him or something,” for the state he’s currently in, he still looks willing to do anything if it means getting out of here. and so, he begs again, “please. can we go home?”

you know you can’t say no to him. that’s not something that comes as good to you. not in your nature.

“this is not the way to your house.”

still in his soccer jersey, the uniform’s shorts touching his knees and holey socks high up his calves, muddy boots hurting his feet, jeongguk sits quietly next to you in the backseat of his car.

his chauffeur drives steadily, away from the hurt, and each mile puts more distance between jeongguk and the weight of the loss, the field, the pressure. he feels himself leave fragments of disappointment behind, back there.

it’s been a long time since it was just the two of you in his car. jeongguk would be the one driving, his left hand steady on the wheel, the right one always reaching for yours, a quiet confirmation of his love.

now, someone else takes care of the driving, especially after games, or in moments like these when jeongguk’s mind and body are too exhausted to handle anything more.

ever since the goal that changed everything between you two, jeongguk’s life took off. a big team recognized his potential and signed him, a moment that marked his breakthrough as pro in the football world.

then, it became a whirlwind. constant games, media attention, opportunities flooding in, and money pouring from every direction.

he bought a house — a mansion, really, — just outside the city, the kind of place he dreamed of as a small kid with big ambitions. everything about it is luxurious, grand, all jeongguk thought he wanted.

but there’s been something left behind, back in the quieter days when he was just a young player fighting for his place on this planet.

you met him before the fame, before his name was on the backs of jerseys and his face on billboards. you fell in love with the boyish version of him, the one who lived in a cramped flat, working tirelessly to make a name for himself.

you’ve been there through every step, enough to recognize the struggle in his eyes.

you so easily catch that flicker of awareness in him. the jolting confirmation that all of this is real, his orbs trembling. and when it hits, he retreats into himself, lets anxiety creep in.

he may not voice it, but you know the root of it. the fear of losing himself, of becoming someone else, of forgetting the version of him that’s grounded in simplicity and love.

jeongguk fears intertwining himself with what he always wanted will inevitably erase what he’s always been, the son of hardworking parents in busan, raised on sacrifice and dreams.

what he always had with you. quiet, uncomplicated. happy with the ordinary things, eating ramen on the floor of his tiny apartment, driving around just to talk about anything and nothing, reading quietly next to each other in the cafè you’ve introduced him to, your presence a comfort to him long before he realized he loved you as more than a friend.

jeongguk wants to hold onto that simplicity, and he wants you to be part of that. he wants you to stay by his side, to be the reminder of who he is beneath all the noise. what he wants to keep being.

because you’re his constant, unwavering, never changing. you’ve never needed him to be more than who he already is. you never look at him with the kind of judgment or disappointment that seems to follow him after every missed opportunity. there’s no pressure, no expectations of success.

in your eyes, he is just jeongguk— the same boy that approached you with a bad pun only to clumsily blame it on his drink. the one you built a familiar rhythm with, ordinariness always just enough for you. for the two of you, together.

you don’t need mansions, fancy restaurants, designer clothes. you don’t need grandeur. you’ll stay the way it’s always been, and the way you both want it to stay.

he quickly scans your face, letting your words register. your brows are furrowed slightly, pouty lips parted as if you’re about to tell the driver that he’s going the wrong way, headed somewhere other than the house he now calls home.

before you can speak, jeongguk interrupts you, his voice soft and suddenly self aware, “oh, i— sorry, i gave directions to your apartment. i just really wanted to be there with you.”

you blink at his fragile honesty. he had begged to be home, and now here you were, on the way to your own.

warmth spreads through you, and you can’t help but break into a big smile, one that eases the tension in his forehead, and mirrors softly in the grin that tugs at his pierced lips.

leaning in, you place a peck on his cheek, “it’s okay, baby. i’ve got so many of your clothes in my closet, there won’t be a problem.”

his low chuckle is comforting, and he scrunches his nose in that familiar way, shuffling closer to nuzzle into your shoulder. for a moment, the world outside fades. you’re hopeful as you think you can feel the weight on his heart lifting.

looking up, a teasing smile spreads across his face, “i wonder why.”

his playful shift surprises you, though you try not to show it. you want him to feel normal, like there’s nothing you should keep being sad over. your brows raise ever so slightly before you roll your eyes in mock exasperation, the fond amusement clear on your features.

it’s enough for jeongguk’s giggles to fill the car, an arm snaking around your waist, “it’s because you always steal my clothes.”

feigning shock, you gasp dramatically, swatting him lightly. he only laughs more, soft sounds bubbling up again, and you can feel love rushing through you, swarming frantically in your chest.

you play along with him, “no, it’s because you always leave your stuff behind after we— we…”

you trip on your words and pause when you realize what nearly slipped out, sheepishly averting your gaze to glance at the chauffeur, who seemingly looks too focused on the road to hear what you’re saying.

jeongguk’s eyes light up, his smile widening as his fingers teasingly pinch your sides, “after we what? say it, baby.”

you flinch at his ticklish touch, breaking into a grin and stubbornly shaking your head no. his laughter mingles with yours, bodies pressing tighter as he leans his weight into you, his nose brushing your jaw.

being this close to him, you inhale his scent. he still smells like adrenaline, mixed with exhaustion, sweat pearling his back. the feeling grounds you.

he hums lowly against your skin, his lips trailing wet pecks along your throat, “i miss doing that.”

your chuckle turns into a frenzied groan, and you steady yourself with your hands on his arm still squeezing around you, feeling your face heat up, “that was three days ago.”

”too long,” he mumbles, kisses slowly becoming more languid, savoring you.

when he pulls away from your neck, he doesn’t give you a moment to breathe before his lips find yours. the kiss is simple, sweet, but you can feel each beat of his pulse against your mouth.

you break the contact first, your hand slipping into his damp hair, gently brushing the long strands out of his eyes. you think out loud, admiring his perfectly framed face, “you need to cut these.”

but jeongguk isn’t currently interested in haircuts. he ignores your suggestion, his focus entirely on you, and his whispered words hold a kind of raw vulnerability, “i missed you.”

you hum, threading through his locks, “missed you too, my boy.”

that’s all he needs to close the gap between you again. this time, his kiss is more intent, deeper, as if trying to communicate what words can’t. his hands pull you closer, your chest arching into him, and in between the wet sounds of your lips meeting he lets a moan escape him.

you’re quick to swallow it, your own quiet noises vibrating against him before you put distance once again, softly tugging at his hair and finding his eyes lovingly, “let’s get home first, yeah?”

but he protests, a childlike groan reverberating in his throat, eyelids fluttering shut as he basks in the feeling of you against his lips. he attacks your cheeks next, trailing down, and down, and down, kissing you through your shirt.

then, it’s his fingers touching you under it, hand traveling up and kneading your breasts through your bra, only to slide around to trace the curve of your spine.

the sudden contact is overwhelmingly pleasuring, head thrown back on the headrest as quiet whimpers leave you. jeongguk is as hungry as ever, seeking for proximity no matter your bodies already molding with one another, his teeth scraping against your most sensitive spots, almost digging, eating, tasting.

and you want to let go, allow him to give you every last thing he’s holding onto, be selfish and take it all for yourself.

but you can’t when you know this is just another one of his escapes. he’s using this moment to drown out the chaos in his mind, to run from his pain, to bury his burdens and get high on a dopamine rush.

“baby, wait—“ in between gasps, you manage to get your voice out, but its whisper doesn’t seem to reach jeongguk’s ears, his long digits boring holes in the flesh of your bare thighs, prickling with goosebumps at his feverish touch.

in your own daze, you carefully take a hold of his face in your palms, lifting him up from the devoting motion of his lips on the edge of your shoulder, and the look in his eyes is hazed, inhebriated on the the burning of your skin under him, but it’s tinged with desperation.

behind his orbs there’s no other thought but to chase you, his only refuge, and your sweet smile only aggravates his crazed desire, trying to catch your mouth with his before you open it to speak, “i don’t want us to do this while you— you’re still mentally fragile.”

your worry is laced with love, it’s clear from the way it spills out of you, seeps from your delicate touch on his cheeks. but jeongguk’s eyes still widen in shock and shame, orbs shaking with panic.

his brows furrow in an attempt to conceal his turbulent emotions, but the city lights continuously flashing through the car windows only accentuate the glistening under his eyelids. he stammers, “i— i’m not— i’m… please. don’t reject me.”

the plea is shaky, and it makes your pulse race with agitation, fingers grasping his jaw with more intent as you’re quicker on your words than your own thoughts, “oh, honey, i’m not. look at me, please,” the way he flickers his gaze down only makes more panic flood in your veins, and you frantically search for him.

you manage to sound stable, whispered words fanning over his lips, “i just want what’s best for you, okay? do you trust me?”

he seems to lean into your touch, looking up at you through his lashes, brows still betraying him with the way they’re drawn up in sorrow. he hums in agreement.

you smile reassuringly, “perfect. then, i’ll tell you what we’re gonna do, hm?” when he nods, you continue, brushing his hair back through your calm words, “we get to my flat. take a hot shower. i make us something warm to eat. and then, if you still want to, i’m all yours. in our bed. sound good?”

our bed. the flicker in your boyfriend’s face doesn’t go missed. it’s fond, it softens his eyes, and it rushes down to his lips, struggling not to break into a grin. he pouts to hide it, and you can see he’s still ashamed by his earlier rush, his response muffled, “okay. i love you. i’m sorry.”

you coo, pulling his head to rest on your chest, drawing comforting strokes along his damp back, “i love you more. you did nothing wrong, baby.”

the both of you stay like that for a while. his cheek is squished against your breasts, lips parting to release quiet huffs, and your soothing motions run down his arm.

the quiet moment is interrupted by jeongguk’s phone ringing once again, loud and persisent, for the nth time in less than half a hour. he doesn’t even glance at the device when declining the call, and you catch the name flashing before the screen goes black.

it’s his coach calling. you stay quiet as he shuts off his phone completely, tossing it onto the empty seat next to him.

only a few moments pass before he looks up at you, his expression hesitant, a timid smile trying to mask the uncertainty in his eyes. you return his gaze with quiet confidence, nodding subtly, letting him know that you’re here with him— no matter what.

right now, all that matters is that jeongguk feels safe in your arms. you don’t care about the consequences he might face tomorrow. you’ll be there for him, just as you are now, when he needs you the most.

the moment you both step in your apartment, shoes messily discarded at the entrance (you’ll make sure to take care of his boots later), he trails after you like a lost puppy. he becomes your shadow, mirroring your every step with big eyes and a natural pout.

“take your uniform off, baby,” you gently instruct him while letting the water run from the shower head, adjusting the temperature until it’s hot enough for the both of you.

he slumps over on the toilet lid, eyes never leaving you as you move around the bathroom. when he lets them travel down your figure, a low groan escapes him.

you look so good in your skirt, the high socks triggering a weird, primal instinct in him, stirring dark fantasies that have him wishing you’d let him take you right there on the sink.

but he knows better than to mess with the plan you set earlier in his car for the both of you to enjoy the night, so he only allows himself to play with you a little, “can you do it for me? i’m tired.”

he really does seem tired, the exhaustion visible from the way his hands tremble slightly and his eyelids drop, but the look only adds to the lazy smirk spreading on his pierced lips. he knows what he’s truly asking for.

you narrow your gaze at him only to roll your eyes when he doesn’t look like he’s going to surrender any soon, grin only widening, and you pull him up by the jersey.

he complies, brows wiggling in teasing disobedience, looking down at you from his taller stance, “woah, commanding. i like it.”

“shut up,” you only murmur as you hastily strip off his sweaty uniform, throwing it right in the laundry bin. you leave him in his high socks and boxers, smacking his round ass playfully, “take these off yourself, mister.”

he’s ready to protest, to demand your touch back on him, but you shoot him a look with your raised eyebrows, “ah-ah. c’mon, and get in the shower, i’ll bring your change.”

before he can respond, you leave the bathroom. he whines childishly, slipping off his underwear along with the uncomfortable socks, adding them to the pile in the basket under the sink. he yells over the sound of running water, “you’re coming too, right?”

“yes!” you quickly call out from the bedroom, voice raised to reach him over the distance.

you know how difficult your boyfriend can be— if he hasn’t come to drag you in yet, you’re at least hoping he’s taken off the rest of his clothes. you foolishly hope he’s already in the shower, though the chances are slim if he’s not completely sure you’ll be joining him.

that’s why you move fast, grabbing his change of clothes from the drawer where you keep all his left-behind things. in your rush, you take one of his oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxers for yourself, too.

when you return to the bathroom, you’re not surprised to find jeongguk standing in the middle of it, bare and waiting for you. his eyes light up when he sees you, taking the clothes from your hold and placing them on the counter, “i was about to come and get you.”

you scoff lightly, trying to fight the smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, but it’s no use. especially when he reaches out to pull you closer, fingers working at the zip of your skirt and sliding it off with ease, his own grin warm on his expression.

you gently push him toward the shower, pretending to scold him, “i can do this myself, thank you. now get in, silly.”

with a disappointed, and very adorable huff, he finally obeys, stepping under the hot steam of water. you can tell by the subtle way his shoulder relax that the heat soothes him, but the tension doesn’t completely ease from his muscles.

he tracks your movements attentively, taking in the way you strip yourself completely bare, and only when you step in the small cabin and close the sliding window door behind you he sighs in relief.

jeongguk engulfs you immediately, positioning you both directly under the cascade of water. it blurs your vision slightly, your bangs flattening on your forehead.

you push them out of the way, your hands then finding his own hair to slick it back, allowing you to see the fondness in his eyes clearly.

you look up at him through wet lashes, chin placed on his toned chest, and his own is dipped low to meet your gaze, take in the smile spreading and making your dimples show.

it grows bigger when he sheepishly scrunches his nose, the love seeping from your orbs suddenly overwhelming, and you press a gentle kiss to his adam’s apple before pulling yourself away, voice a whisper, “let me take care of you.”

jeongguk doesn’t argue, complying when you ask to hand you his shampoo. you’d originally bought it as a joke during one of your grocery runs together, picking it off the shelf with a laugh and pointing out the label— johnson’s baby shampoo, made with honey and wheat extracts, and on sale too. you’d exclaimed how it was so jeongguk, and he’d let you try it on him as soon as you got home.

the joke had stuck, and to your surprise, he ended up liking it more than you did. now, it was the only shampoo you used on him whenever he stayed at your place, a small tradition between the two of you.

as you work it into his damp hair, jeongguk’s eyelids flutter shut. he eases into your touch, body going loose as your fingers massage his scalp with the perfect amount of pressure, the kind that always seems to make him melt, the one that could immediately put him to sleep.

you wash it off and repeat the motion once more, taking your time. only when his hair is thoroughly cleaned do you reach for your vanilla body wash, moving on to carefully lather it over his skin.

tracing every line of his body, you watch the way he softens more with your touch, unconsciously swaying closer.

you’re slow, deliberate in your motions, letting your hands run over his shoulders, down his arms, across his chest. his skin is warm and slick under your palms, and every now and then he lets out a contented sigh.

the sounds get fuller when you finally reach his back. you press a little harder, working out the knots you can feel lingering there. he groans softly, his head falling forward slightly, droplets of water dripping from his hair onto your face.

“feel good?” you ask quietly, your voice barely audible over the sound of the water.

he nods, his voice low and drowsy. “yeah, feels amazing.”

his moans grow unrestrainedly louder, eyes rolling back, and you would tease him for it if the sight of him like this wasn’t having its own effect on you.

biting your lip, you press your fingers deeper into his muscles, and suddenly his hands grip your waist, tight enough to startle you.

it has your mouth opening unconsciously, brows furrowed at the sensitivity. you almost give in when his palms slip further down, resting on the curve of your ass, and for a moment you consider the temptation, but the triumphant smirk on his face immediately pulls you out of your daze. your own fingers work to move his hands to rest at your shoulders.

you manage to sound stable, but you can feel the slight shake in your voice, “hands up here, mister.”

“oh, c’mon,” he has the audacity to whine, the sound muffled by his pouty, and so inviting lips.

you almost cave at the sight of him, his eyes wide and pleading. but you know better. if you let him push the boundaries now, things won’t stop here, and the careful rhythm you’ve set will be forgotten.

it’s not just him you’re trying to hold back— it’s yourself too, especially when his gaze almost breaks through your resolve.

you shake your head, trying to gather your composure, suddenly turning off the water and sliding the shower door open.

jeongguk groans in protest at the contrasting cold air hitting his skin, but you promptly step out to reach for your bathrobe and wrap it around him.

pout stubborn on his lips, he follows you out the shower, but instead of arguing further, he surprises you by engulfing you both in the same robe, pressing his chest against your back.

his arms circle you, and he starts rubbing the spongy material of his sleeves against your body, trying to dry you both at once.

you snort, amused by his antics, “what are you doing?”

“i’m drying us.”

“this will take us forever—”

“no, see? i’m already done,” with ease, he slips out of the robe, laying it over your shoulders and tying the belt snugly around you.

then he casually walks over to grab his change of clothes, pulling the t-shirt over his head despite the fact that his hair is still dripping with water.

you roll your eyes at the sight of it soaking into the fabric and gently push him to sit on the toilet lid, “don’t move. you’re still wet, god.”

“that’s what she said,” he wiggles his brows, eyes gleaming with immature delight as he grins mischeviously.

you sigh, struggling not to laugh at his pun. instead, you wordlessly grab the hairdryer and start running it through his damp locks.

he obediently leans into you, closing his eyes and resting his head against your chest as your fingers run along his hair. the warmth from the device makes him nuzzle even closer, his posture fully relaxed between your legs.

once his hair is dry and his clothes no longer clinging to his skin, you finally shut off the hairdryer, giving his now fluffy locks a final pat.

the time it took to dry jeongguk allowed the bathrobe to work its magic on you too. you quickly slip into his boxers and one of his many stussy t-shirts you picked randomly, tying a towel around your hair.

you prepare to head out of the bathroom, but before you can his hand gently stops you, gripping your forearm, suddenly towering over you when he stands up, “where are you going?”

“to make us dinner.”

“i’ll do it. you should dry your hair, or else you’ll get a headache.”

“but—”

“no but. you already did enough, baby. i’m okay, i swear,” his voice softens, and the fond look in his eyes makes it clear he won’t let you argue further. he doesn’t even let you respond, stepping out of the room and heading to the kitchen.

a smile tugs at your lips, and you take a deep breath, the comforting scent of vanilla and honey still lingering after he leaves.

you’ve always appreciated jeongguk’s attention to detail. he knows how long it takes you to care for your thick, long hair and also remembers the countless nights you complained about your head hurting from leaving it damp. he always listens, even to the smallest things.

twenty minutes later, you’re warm and dry, stepping into the kitchen where the delicious smell of soup greets you. jeongguk is behind the stove, stirring a pot and softly whistling as he tends to another pan on the burner.

when he notices you, his eyes brighten, trailing over your legs and the way his t-shirt sits just above your thighs, revealing glimpses of his boxers. as you approach, he grins, “what’s a pretty woman like you doing here, alone?”

you’ve been with him long enough to know this is just the start of one of his playful roleplays, so of course you instantly know your line, “i have a boyfriend, actually.”

“oh, really? is he here too? can he fight?” his voice drops lower with every step you take towards him, with the last words coming out as a growl as you stand in front of him, looking up into his eyes.

you snort, “you’re so dumb.”

he stays in character, raising his eyebrows, “no, tell me. can he?”

you hum thoughtfully, pursuing your lips as you pretend to consider, your eyes wandering before settling on his again, “yes. he’ll break your nose.”

he chuckles, feigning surprise, “god, he sounds tough.”

“he is.”

with an arm snaking around your waist, he pulls you closer, his lips brushing your ear, nose tickling your lobe, and he whispers, “but i just want you so bad, young lady. don’t tell him, hm?”

his mouth is on yours next, molding together in a sickeningly sweet, lingering kiss, and you let him find your tongue with his own, your front arching against his.

with your arms wrapped around his neck, you part slightly, your eyes jumping on every corner of his face. your voice is thick with pure love, “do you feel better, big boy?”

jeongguk smiles, presses it against your forehead, “so much better, thanks to you. i love you.”

“i love you more,” you momentarily lose yourself in his expression, and you have to blink harshly to pull yourself out of the daze before you fall too deeply into your emotions and start waxing poetic, letting your heart run as wild as the love in your veins.

you move from his hold, busying yourself with setting the small table in your kitchen, grabbing the usual pink glass for yourself and the yellow one for him.

he chose them himself a long ago, said pink reminded him of the way you blushed at his every action, and the yellow symbolized a sunflower always turning toward its sun, because, “that’s how i’ve felt ever since i met you.”

as you arrange the glasses, you almost forget what you were about to ask, but the faint ring of your phone from the bedroom reminds you, “is your phone still off? coach has been calling me.”

his brows knit slightly, betraying his otherwise calm demeanor, but he doesn't meet your eyes, focusing instead on plating the soup. “can we— not talk about it? just for tonight?”

a small gasp escapes you at his quiet plea, and you rush to his side to help him, taking the plates from him and placing them gently on the table, your words hushed, “of course, baby. i was just worried you might want to hear from him. i don’t care about all of that, i only care about you.”

a sheepish smile breaks through his composure, his front teeth worrying at his lip piercing. he looks up at you, lets himself be coddled by the warmth of your gaze, and he sounds just as timid as he looks, “hm. that’s what i wanted to hear.”

you shake your head fondly at his vulnerable side, motioning for him to sit with you, “silly. come, let’s eat, and then we can get some sleep.”

even after swallowing the burning soup, jeongguk still finds a way to tease, nudging your foot under the table with a mischievous grin.

"you’re not getting any sleep tonight," he quips, his voice low with playful intent. you roll your eyes and kick him lightly, making him yelp in exaggerated shock.

it becomes a game of back and forth, his dirty jokes pushing boundaries just enough to make you question if he’s actually serious. there’s a part of you that selfishly hopes he means it, but the side of you that knows him inside and out knows better.

sex for jeongguk isn’t just a casual thing, especially after a night like this. for the two of you, intimacy is more than physical— it’s an act of devotion, a way to connect deeply when words can’t express everything.

it’s never about distraction or escape, but about grounding one another, the flicker of something real and tender at the core of it.

tucked under the covers, waiting for him after he convinced you he could handle the dishes himself — arguing that picking a movie was just as much work — you’re not surprised by what he says when he finally enters the room.

“baby… i think i’m happy with just cuddles for tonight. that okay with you?”

you break into a big grin, brimming with unspeakable feelings for the man standing at the foot of your bed, for which you spread your arms open, “of course, sweetheart. come here, you big child.”

he doesn’t need to be told twice, instantly burrowing himself against the warm sheets, intertwining his limbs with yours. he nestles his head on your chest, sighing contentedly as if he’s found the safest place, “i love you. have i said that already?”

“a million times. and i’m never sick of it.”

“say it back.”

you snort at the insistence in his tone, words muffled by the fabric of your shirt, and your fingers unconsciously play with his straight locks as you swing one of your legs around his waist, your voice a whisper above the shuffling, “i love you more.”

he tilts his head up, chin resting on the softness of your breasts, “no, you don’t.”

brushing his bangs away from his eyes, you smile fondly, “i do. believe me.”

he huffs in faux protest, narrowing his eyes. but he gives in as quickly as he tried to argue, his cheek settling back to rest just where your heart beats, its steady beat lulling him into calm along with your gentle strokes along his nape.

jeongguk doesn’t resist it, doesn’t fight your love. accepts it as the purest form of closure he can get for himself, “hm. okay. i love you.”

[deesseshesca]

PAC: What does my life look like once I hit my full potential?

Hope I make it out of here.

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PILE 1

Oh, bestie, I feel you on this. Balancing hustle and chill vibes is so important when you’re in that “level-up” era, especially with the Lovers card as your overall energy—it’s giving alignment and divine choices. Here’s the tea:

First, trust that this new career opportunity isn’t just a job; it’s a gateway to something magical. Your next lover is literally waiting for you on the other side of this. Like, how iconic is that? The universe is basically screaming, “This is part of your glow-up!”

But let’s keep it real: grinding too hard can mess with your flow. So, schedule your downtime like it’s a business meeting—whether that’s journaling, bingeing your fave show, or vibing out with a playlist that makes you feel main character energy. Chill time isn’t lazy; it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

When it comes to hustle, think of it like this: show up and give your best, but don’t overthink it. Be intentional, not overwhelmed. Remember, the Lovers card is also about harmony—so treat your hustle like a love story. Be passionate, but know when to step back and breathe.

And here’s the real plot twist: this opportunity isn’t just about meeting them. It’s about meeting the next, more evolved version of you. They’ll love that version of you, and so will you. So take the leap, but keep your soul soft. You’ve got this. ❤️

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PILE 2

Okay, imagine this: when you hit your full potential, your life looks like the perfect balance of confidence and rest. You’ve worked hard to know your worth and never settle, and now you’re living in a way that matches that energy. Think quiet mornings in a space that feels so you, reflecting on your growth while sipping your favorite coffee—unbothered and untouchable.

But here’s the thing: getting there doesn’t mean you’re grinding 24/7. You’ll learn that slowing down is the power move. For example, instead of saying yes to everything, you’ll get super intentional about what aligns with your long-term goals. If an opportunity feels off or doesn’t match your vision, you’ll confidently pass, knowing that better things are waiting.

That self-love you’ve mastered? It’ll make you a magnet for respect. People will see how deeply you value yourself and will match that energy—or they’ll fall off, and honestly, you won’t care. It’s like you’ll finally be surrounded by relationships, jobs, and opportunities that deserve you because you’ve set the bar so high.

Here’s the practical advice: stay open to adjusting your plans, even when it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes, what looks like a setback is actually setting you up for something bigger. For example, if one path feels blocked, don’t fight it—pivot. Trust that your ability to choose yourself will always lead you to the right place.

And don’t forget to rest without guilt. It’s okay to take breaks to recharge because that’s when your best ideas will come to you. Picture yourself booking a solo trip, splurging on the nicest accommodations, and using that time to dream even bigger while staying grounded in gratitude. You’re leveling up and protecting your peace, and that’s the ultimate glow-up. 🌱✨

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PILE 3

Alright, picture this: once you hit your full potential, your life is like a perfectly designed blueprint, executed flawlessly. You’re running the show—waking up early, knocking out your goals, and moving through life like you own it. Your schedule is tight but purposeful, and everything you do feels like a step toward something even bigger.

You’ll probably have this fire inside you to keep starting new projects—like launching that dream business or taking on leadership roles that actually challenge you. People will look at you and think, Wow, they’ve really got it together. But behind the scenes, you’ll know it’s because you’ve built systems for yourself that work. For example, you might have a weekly ritual where you plan every detail, from career moves to self-care, so nothing feels chaotic.

That being said, you’ll need to make space for the unknown too. Life won’t always go exactly as planned, and that’s okay. Think of it like this: when things feel uncertain, don’t freeze up. Instead, take a moment, check in with yourself, and adjust. For example, if a big opportunity comes up and doesn’t look like what you expected, lean into it—it might just be the thing that pushes you further than you imagined.

And here’s a practical tip: track your progress. Maybe it’s a journal where you write down your wins every day, no matter how small, or a calendar where you block out “me time” just as seriously as work tasks. The key is staying grounded while keeping your eyes on the horizon.

Your focus on success will still fuel you, but it’ll feel balanced. Imagine being so confident in what you’ve built that you can finally relax a little, knowing that your foundation is unshakable. You’re not just surviving anymore; you’re thriving. And it’s all because you created the structure to let your ambition flow without burning out. 💡

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PILE 4

Okay, so here’s the vibe: when you hit your full potential, your life is gonna feel like this beautiful balance of self-love and success. But here’s the thing—you’ve been carrying a lot, especially with your sibling’s struggles. It’s tough because you want to help, but you have to realize that in order to become the best version of yourself, you have to put yourself first. And I know that’s easier said than done, especially when you love someone so much and want to see them thrive.

You’ve been trying to fix things, trying to heal others, but you can’t keep pouring from an empty cup. You’ve been holding onto a lot of emotional weight, and that’s been draining you. It’s okay to step back and focus on your own growth. I promise, you’re not abandoning anyone by taking care of yourself. In fact, the more you work on you, the more you’ll be able to help them from a place of peace.

But it’s gonna hurt a bit—letting go of that guilt is a process. You’ll have moments where you feel torn, but trust me, your potential and your future are calling you to take care of you. Your dreams, your goals—they matter, and they deserve your attention. It’s about putting boundaries in place, even if it feels hard at first.

You might not have all the answers right now, and that’s fine. You don’t have to have it all figured out, but you’ll get there. Things will come into focus when you start giving yourself permission to live your life without guilt. It’s gonna feel so freeing once you realize that your own peace and happiness are the foundation for everything else to fall into place.

So take it slow. Focus on your journey, even if it means you need to step away from the chaos a little. You deserve to put yourself first, because the version of you that is fully healed, confident, and at peace is going to be the one that thrives and makes all those big dreams come true. Your success starts with you, and you’re worthy of every bit of it. ❤️

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[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Six

Eddie stands in the hallway, his feet cold on the marble floor, feeling useless. The profound lack of confidence is new and...haunting. Going through an extended period of time where he had to face how utterly shit he’s been as a human being has been...well. He’s doing his absolute best to remind himself that all of his friends and family don’t hate him, but that’s really hard considering how utterly shit he’s been.

How much trouble he’s caused for everyone.

He nearly lost the band. After all the hard work everyone put in, they got their dream. They achieved it. They played to sold out stadiums, and Eddie nearly fucked it, nearly fucking destroyed a decade of his friends hard work because he can’t control himself.

Eddie could be the shittest human being to ever exist.

“You should put a shirt on, Chrissy will be here soon.”

Eddie glowers at Steve. He’s got a hundred things on the tip of his tongue. Steve’s a traitor for leaving. Steve’s a cunt for being in his house for a week uninvited in the first place. How dare Steve just...abandon his post, or whatever. How can he just...leave Eddie to this. Steve’s just some guy with a dumb job and Eddie is that dumb job and Eddie hates him for it.

Steve hoists his stupid sensible back pack up higher, a small duffel in the other hand, “I prepped some snacks in the fridge if you get hungry later. Don’t forget the stuff in the dryer, it’ll crease if you leave it too long.”

“You’re not my mom.”

Steve professional mask slips back into place, “nice meeting you, Eddie,” and then he heads to the front door.

“I...wait. What am I supposed to do?”

Steve shrugs, “have a nice life?” he suggests vaguely, his eyebrows, doing that nothing thing that’s definitely a thing.

“And that’s it...you’re just going to leave?”

“Your rut is done, so is my job.” Steve gives Eddie a cold, customer service smile, “Chrissy’s coming over later to hang out. She said something about taking you to the studio tomorrow, that’ll be good, right?”

“I. I mean.” Eddie feels sick. He does not want to face the guys. He absolutely does not want to do that, at all. They’re going to hate him and it’s going to be awkward and it’s going to be shit and Eddie’s lost the people who are most important to him in the whole world and it’s all completely his own fault.

Steve’s face softens a little, back to just Steve and not professional Steve, and he puts his duffel down, “what is it?”

“Thought your job was done,” Eddie grumbles, wrapping his arms around himself defensively, suddenly deeply regretting his bare chest. Steve is well built and golden and healthy looking, and meanwhile Eddie is painfully aware of his scrawny, sad wet rat appearance.

“It is, I’m off the clock. You get one free pass, go for it.”

Eddie feels like a naughty child, staring the shit out of the floor. He gestures vaguely. “What if I fuck it up?”

“You’re probably gonna’.”

Eddie’s head snaps up, incandescent with rage, “what in the actual fuck-”

Steve shrugs, putting his duffel all the way down, “look. Statistically it takes a few tries for sobriety to stick. There’s...a lot of things I’m supposed to say about this, but, honestly,” he shrugs, “I’m not on shift, so, the best advice I have is remember this. Remember how shit you feel. Remember how much you upset Chrissy. Remember how much you fucking hated having me here. Remember how much you hated the center. Remember how fucking dogshit you felt when you found out your band were ready to bail on you. Hold on to it, and when...when you think you might fuck up, just think to yourself, is it worth it? Is it worth losing those people. Is it worth going through all this, again? Because...it isn’t worth it, is it? And, realistically...what really matters is what you do after you fuck up. The self destruct is the easy way out, getting back on the horse is the hard thing...but the right thing.”

Eddie kind of, deflates, a little. Because honestly, Steve's right. No ones ever put it quite like that before. It’s a horribly solid argument for not fucking up.

Steve picks up his duffel, turning to go, but he stops, smiling to himself, lingering for a second in the doorway, “and if that doesn’t work, just think, what would Dolly do?”

The door closes, and Eddie sighs.

The house is suddenly really, really big, and really, really fucking empty.

Eddie goes and runs himself a bath, and if that means he can imagine Steve is still in the house somewhere, there’s no one here to know what he’s up to.

"I didn't hate having you here," Eddie finally replies to no one.

“Eddie, get fucking dressed. What are you even doing in there?”

“Nothing,” Eddie grumbles from under the covers.

The door bangs, “oh my god, you’re not even up, what are you doing??”

“I’m not going.”

“Excuse you?” Chrissy drags the covers off him, and it’s fucking brutal. The air is chillier than the warmth under the covers and the light is too fucking bright.

Eddie yelps and curls up into a ball, “they don’t want to see me. I’ll just...ruin everything.”

“Oh. You’ve finally hit the feeling sorry for yourself stage.”

“What?”

“Recovery. It’s like with grief. There’s stages. I read a book.”

“You read a book-”

“Look. They want to see you. You’ve pissed them off, yes. You’ve been absolutely shit, also, yes.” Eddie curls up on himself even tighter, “but you had a problem Eddie, and you...weren't very well. And now you’re putting in effort and they see that, okay. They want their friend back, they want this to work out, okay?”

“You think?” Eddie mumbles, his face shoved into the sheet.

“Yes, I do. I also think that if you think a good first impression is you showing up fucking late and keeping them waiting then you’re an-”

“I’m up!” Eddie shifts, climbing out of bed, “I’m getting ready. I’ll be like, twenty minutes.”

Chrissy has Eddie a coffee ready in a to go cup in the kitchen, and he grabs it, rooting around in the fridge, he pulls out the last Tupperware, digging for a spoon from the drawer.

“Since when do you eat breakfast?” Chrissy asks as Eddie juggles everything, following her to the car.

“It’s overnight oats, peanut butter raspberry, there’s like, chia seeds and shit in it, Steve makes them. It’s like dessert for breakfast. Honestly it’s even better than his waffles.”

Eddie gets his seat belt on, pulling the lid off and digging in, he catches Chrissy staring at him, “what?” he speaks with his mouth full.

“I...you know what, nothing...just don’t spill that shit in my car.”

Eddie hesitates at the door. They’ve spent a million hours in this studio over the years. It’s like a second home to all of them. Every studio album they’ve ever produced, they’ve recorded it here. It’s like...a second home now. After they got shot to fame. When they didn’t have a clue what they were doing, not really, not in the beginning...this is the place where they learned how it sounded when your music got mixed by an actual professional.

This is the place that breathed life into Eddie’s vision.

He thunks his head against the door, just for a second, Chrissy waiting patiently a step behind him. She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t press.

“What would Dolly do?” Eddie whispers to himself, and then he opens the door.

It’s actually been a few months since he’s seen the guys; easily the longest they’ve been apart since high school. Everyone looks a little uncertain when Eddie walks in, and Eddie suddenly feels like a stranger. Like an outsider, in a place he shouldn’t be.

In a place he has no right to be.

In a place he most certainly doesn’t deserve to be.

“Uhm, hi, everyone.”

There’s a moment of quiet that almost has Eddie retreating straight back out the door, but then Gareth is up out of his chair. He’s across the room in three long strides, and Eddie almost flinches back from the hit he thinks is coming, but then he’s in a hug. A big, solid, bone crushing hug.

Eddie closes his eyes, and rests his hands on Gareth’s back, “I’m so sorry.”

“Fucking better be,” Gareth huffs.

The hug lasts forever, like Gareth doesn’t want to let him go, but eventually he has to. Eddie is wrapped in Gareth’s scent. It’s as familiar as his own. Home, pack, brother, it says. Eddie relaxes into it. It’s calm, Gareth’s scent, not really betraying anything other than...Gareth’s happy to see him.

Jeff is next, “I’m so sorry man.”

“Wait? You’re sorry?” Eddie’s enveloped in another hug. Another familiar scent fills Eddie’s lungs. Makes him feel a tiny bit more whole. Another puzzle piece slotting into place, settling his insides. He’s denied himself this for so long, the relationship more and more strained the further Eddie spiraled.

“We saw it happening man, we made excuses. Told ourselves it wasn’t that bad, or it was just a phase. And then before we knew it it...it felt like we’d watched it get out of control, like we just sat back and let you struggle. I feel like we could have done something.”

It breaks something inside Eddie a little, he nuzzles closer, pressing his forehead against Jeff’s shoulder. “I made my own stupid mistakes.”

“In the beginning, yeah, totally you did. But...it became an illness, Eddie. And when you’re sick...you need help. We left it too long. You nearly fucking died.”

“I’m...I’m okay now, okay?”

Jeff pulls back, his eyes wet like Eddie’s, “you wanna play some tunes?”

“Fuck yeah I wanna’ play some tunes.”

Chrissy ordered them Chinese. They’re not allowed food in the actual booth bit, so they sit out in the lounge to eat.

It had...felt a little stilted, at first. Like they all had rough edges that weren't quite sitting right. It took a little while, but playing their older stuff helped. Something cathartic about completely ignoring their big hits. They don’t play a single number one tune the whole time they’re in there, playing their own personal favorites instead, shouting what they wanted at each other in between tracks.

It’s...good. It’s fun. There’s no pressure, and an hour in, they start to really click.

An hour after that, Eddie almost forgets all the bad shit. Almost stops feeling the rift he’s caused.

It’s back now though, back in force, when Gareth asks him what he wants to do next.

“I can’t tour,” Eddie says immediately.

There’s no push back, startlingly, everyone seems to agree, “yeah, I think it’s a bad idea. And to be honest...I don’t really want to. Not for a while, it was...a lot, right?” Jeff asks.

Everyone agrees. Everyone has families, hell, Gareth’s, somehow, got a hot wife and a kid. It’s a lot, being away from home so much when you have commitments like that.

“I wouldn’t mind something local though,” Gareth says, “maybe just like...stay in the states. Do like, a couple of stadiums or something.” The thought of being in front of all those people feels a little…itchy, to Eddie. He’s really not sure about performing right now, and Gareth clearly clocks it. There’s something there, the understanding. Eddie’s scent is probably going buck wild too, “not until we release a new album though, obviously,” he tacks on. Adjusting. For Eddie.

“Right,” Eddie nods, “right, a new album.”

Eddie hadn’t even thought about it. Didn’t think he had the right any more, didn’t think the guys would support him with anything like that, or even...trust him with it.

“I kind of have,” Jeff starts, pulling some balled up scraps of paper out of his jacket pocket.

Gareth has a whole fucking notebook, “what?” he says at the looks on everyone's faces, “I was bored, alright?”

Eddie gathers it all together, “okay if I...take it home and have a look?”

Everyone agrees, and by the time Eddie goes home again, they have plans for a full day in the studio, Eddie’s been invited to a BBQ at Gareth’s, and Jeff wants to run a games night.

Eddie’s going to have to dig out his dice, which, is kind of a weird feeling. He’ll have to brush up on the Handbook, they haven’t played for...well. Probably years with the tours.

Eddie finds himself kind of excited about it.

Part Eight

[matchatarot]

The name of that full moon sounds like the name of a metal band, doesn’t it, Bunny? A potent portal of self-reflection, clarity, healing and strength is opening up on March 14th, 2025. Let’s see what it’ll bring for you. To pick a pile don’t overthink it; choose the one that draws you in the most while thinking about the reading’s intent. Only take what resonates! Love, Matcha ♡

p.s. I used the art oracles by Katya Tylevich, it’s an oracle with each card representing an artist, and the 3 piles had the same card show up; Diane Arbus. Her art is notable for its representation of marginalized subjects, its psychological intensity and its raw aesthetic. ☆ masterlist

Pile 1 ₊˚.༄

Your spirit guides have been calling you to look deeper within yourself and you’re answering the call. You’re delving in the shadows. Realizing where you’ve been lying to yourself, doing one thing but feeling the other. You’re reading between the lines of your soul, finding the truth of your ego in your past actions. You’re being vulnerable and strong. You understand that you can’t run away from your own toxic patterns, there’s no other way than through. However, you’re realizing that even though you need to put up with your own toxic tendencies, you do not have to put up with toxic people. Some relationships are not working for you anymore. You’ll recognize them in the way they make you feel; slow, old, fragile, hazy. They want you to choose between them and your values. There might be a divinely orchestrated heartbreak or separation. It doesn’t have to be romantic, it could also be leaving a job, a community or an old mindset that felt part of who you were. This event will powerfully and unexpectedly change you. It’ll mainly help you to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, mainly related to love relationships, platonic or romantic. You’ll understand that healing needs time and patience. Sometimes the best action is stillness. However, your manifestations are waiting for you so take the time you need to rest but get up and take action as soon as possible.

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Pile 2 ⊹˚˖ ☆

You’re stepping into a more confident, charismatic and compassionate self. You’re following your heart and diving deep into your emotional and romantic side. You’re being more vulnerable with yourself and with others and it’s impacting positively your peers. They see you as someone sweet, soft and compassionate. Your presence is healing to people, you’re helping them heal their heart chakra. Some people might realize they’re in love with you, feeling the butterflies in their stomach when they see you. Their cheeks get so hot and they’re so excited to greet you, you’re so precious. It can also be platonic, like colleagues realizing they really love working with you. You’re understanding your influence on your surroundings, realizing that you manifested this love and harmony by visualizing it in your third eye. If you’ve been listening to frequencies, doing meditation or any other healing spiritual practice, it’s bearing its fruits. You’re developing a new abundance mindset that’s removing a lot of blockages related to your fears of the unknown. You know you’re supported by your community (in the 3d or spiritual), so you know you’ll be okay. I see a beautiful and mysterious opportunity coming to you, brought to you by people who love you.

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Pile 3 ‧₊˚ ♡

A spiritual guide as a gift for you! It’s someone from your past life, someone that holds you deep in their heart, it might be a lover. It could also be you but your identity from a past life. Something in your life might seem like it’s lacking vitality, but your spirit guide is putting the life back into it. They’re showing you how one thing can take many forms, and have many different lives. It might be that your love life or your career seemed to be dying but it’s not, surprise! It’s actually reaching new heights and you’re gonna be embodying a more confident and strong self through it. It’ll come with its challenges but you have everything you need to surmount them, you’re so protected from your spirit guides anyway, they all have your back in this new venture coming your way. They’re also going to be especially attentive when it comes to your manifestations on this worm moon, so take advantage of it. Open your heart to new opportunities because the portal this moon is opening for you is full of action and love. If you’ve been manifesting your soulmate, just know they’re coming closer! I also sense that friends from a past life are coming back to unite with you. Shed your old skin and embody a fresher sense of self to get ready for it. Tap into your occult knowledge.

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decks used for this reading: les vampires oracle by Lucy Cavendish, l’oracle du chemin spirituel by Valérie Defour & Valérie Saussez, art oracles by Katya Tylevich

★ photo credits go to their rightful owner ★

[richarlotte]

something on your mind?

Time to talk about love.

My friends, my good friends who are in Chicago, D.C., Montreal, Philly, and New York and who are in amazing relationships, share one thing: they focused on bettering their lives and themselves, and good men fit into the picture they were focused on painting. There was no “I’m going to find a good man and do the work later,” and there were no excuses made as to why they were neglecting themselves in favor of finding someone to take care of them; there were many distinct efforts made to better themselves, and when the right people came along, things fell into place naturally on both sides and progressed smoothly.

 

There’s a lot of focus on whether someone will fit into your life on Tumblr, but not a lot of talk about what’s going on on the other side. If you’re unhealed, uneducated, emotionally unstable, and unfit for a relationship, do you really think that you’ll find someone who’ll want to stay with you and do the healing for you? I say this not to be unkind but to be realistic. In order to form a strong, long-lasting relationship with someone, you have to be healthy and ready to deal with the conflicts and disappointments that occur in anyone’s life. If you have never had to deal with the things that can arise in any romantic relationship and you’re not mentally prepared to in the first place, you’ll find that it’ll be harder for you to keep things together and remain stable when life feels hard.

 

I have been in relationships before—healthy relationships—and I have thrived in them. But I’m also a person with trauma, and I know how that trauma presents itself and I know my triggers. It took me plenty of therapy, lots of listening to myself and acknowledging my feelings, and tons of breakups before I recognized both what I needed and what I was subconsciously seeking out. All of my friends who have made their longterm relationships last know what they’re looking for, know what they need, and know themselves well enough to walk away before things end on bad terms. Self-work must be done if you want to truly thrive in life, and you must have the ability to reflect on the things you could have done better.

 

Myself and the people I’ve known who’ve gone from struggling to thriving in relationships all share one common denominator: we’ve done the hard work associated with success, and we’re all willing to continue doing the work needed to get what we want. It’s incredibly hard and very damaging to one’s psyche to go through life with a clear image of what you want in your mind but a lack of awareness that limits you from getting what you want. It’s important to understand that you can overcome the obstacles in your own path and you can also overcome being an obstacle yourself. There are effective ways to heal, books you can immerse yourself in, therapists you can see, and things you can do to build yourself up so that you can thrive and feel more confident in your love life.

TL;DR:

You have to be willing to do the inner work before you seek out a romantic partner. A relationship won’t repair you if you feel broken; only you can heal yourself and fix your trauma. It’s an important part of finding yourself and finding a love that lasts and feels healthy.

[astrolook]

💥Saturn Rx: Becoming Who You Were Always Meant To Be (The Hard Way) 💥

Note: These are my personal observations over the years from studying and intuitively feeling into Saturn Retrograde energy in the houses. Take what resonates and gently leave the rest. Feel free to drop your own experiences or reflections in the comments.

Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) - You wanna do everything now but life keeps saying “not yet.” Your confidence took a few L’s before it started hitting. You might try to be bold, but overthinks it halfway through. Feeling blocked is your daily mood.

Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) - You’ve got big brain energy but second-guess everything. Talking is easy but being understood is a whole journey. Social stuff can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. You are low-key sensitive.

Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) - You feel a lot but doesn't know what to do with them. Your feelings hit like tidal waves but you keep trying to hold 'em in a teacup. You care too much, then pretend you don’t. Saturn Rx makes you feel like your softness needs armor. You're either hyper-emotional or emotionally ghosting yourself.

Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) - You’re out here tryna be responsible but always feel like you’re behind. You act chill but secretly stress over your 10-year plan. You can’t stop grinding, even when you’re burnt out.

Saturn Rx in the Houses:

Saturn Rx in 1st - You were born with a tiny adult living in your head judging your every move. Your confidence should be built from scratch with scraps. You’re super self-aware, but sometimes it crosses into lowkey self-doubt. People think you’ve got it all handled, but internally you’re like, “Am I even doing this right?” You might feel older than your years or like you’ve been in “survival mode” your whole life. There’s a pressure to hold it all together, to not show weakness, to be “in control” of your identity at all times.

Saturn Rx in 2nd - It's like growing up feeling broke even if you weren’t. Money stuff feels weird as either you're super strict with it or avoid it completely. You probably grew up feeling like comfort or luxury had to be earned with suffering. You might hoard stuff or money because there's this fear it’ll run out. Receiving can feel harder than giving, and even when you do get something good, you might brace for it to disappear. People might say you’re “practical” or “minimalist,” but a lot of that comes from fear of loss, of not being supported, of being judged for wanting more.

Saturn Rx in 3rd - It feels like having a million thoughts but second-guessing all of them before they leave your mouth. You wanna say something, but your brain hits you with “is this dumb tho?” mid-sentence. You’ve probably replayed awkward convos from five years ago like they just happened. Growing up, expressing yourself might’ve felt like walking on eggshells, or like no one actually heard you. You might talk less than you want to, or over-explain everything to seem “clear.” Texting back takes forever because you’re rewriting it five times.

Saturn Rx in 4th - Home was a place you didn’t totally relax in, even if nothing was “wrong.” You probably kept stuff to yourself because opening up felt unsafe or pointless. Family might’ve been distant, overly strict, or just not emotionally available like you needed. Nostalgia hits weird as either you feel weirdly disconnected from your past or super heavy about it. You overthink your roots, your sense of belonging, where you “fit.” People talk about “feeling at home” and here you’re still trying to figure out what that even means.

Saturn Rx in 5th - You want to express yourself but lowkey worries that you’ll look dumb. You might hold back creatively or not share your ideas 'cause you think they’re not good enough. You’ve got passion, but it’s buried under layers of “am I allowed to enjoy this?” Flirting is awkward and dating is exhausting or non-existent. You might feel awkward trying to be playful, like joy has to be earned or justified. People think you’re reserved or serious, but really you’re just scared of looking foolish.

Saturn Rx in 6th - Routines are either super strict or completely nonexistent, no in-between. You might have this constant inner voice micromanaging everything like how you eat, work, sleep, take care of yourself and it’s exhausting. Health stuff? You overthink every weird body feeling but also ignore your needs half the time. No real satisfaction. Chronic self-criticism is real as you notice every little flaw in how you look, work, live, or function. Jobs/studies can feel like a trap, or like you're stuck in roles that don’t fully match who you are. you're either overcommitting or secretly fantasizing about quitting it all. You probably don’t ask for help, and even when you need it, you convince yourself that you should be able to handle it alone.

Saturn Rx in 7th - Relationships are weirdly hard, even when you want them. You crave deep connection but you don’t fully trust it when it shows up. Getting close to people makes you nervous, like you’re constantly waiting for them to leave or mess it up. You might hold back your real feelings or take forever to open up. You are scared of choosing the wrong person as it's possible that you might not have had good examples of healthy partnerships growing up. So, being close to someone feels risky, even when you want it more than anything.

Saturn Rx in 8th - You are carrying a whole emotional vault inside you that barely anyone gets access to. There’s a fear of being vulnerable, like if someone really saw you, they’d either leave or use it against you. You might have complicated feelings around sex, power, control, or even money that’s shared with others like you're never fully safe letting go. Loss or betrayal may have happened early, or you were forced to grow up fast around heavy stuff. Emotional closeness feels intense, and part of you wants it, but another part always stays slightly guarded like you’re waiting for something to go wrong.

Saturn Rx in 9th - Growing up, you could’ve felt restricted around exploring whether that was travel, education, or even just asking deeper questions. So you learned to keep your curiosity quiet even when it’s loud in your head. Maybe you grew up being told exactly what to believe, or maybe you weren’t told anything at all and had to figure it out on your own. Higher education or travel might’ve felt delayed, limited, or like it came with a weird pressure to “prove yourself.” You might feel like you're late to the party in terms of “figuring it all out.”

Saturn Rx in 10th - It feels like being born with the weight of expectations real or imagined on your back. You could’ve grown up feeling like you had to be the “mature one,” the one who holds it together, the one who becomes somebody. Authority figures might’ve been strict, absent, impossible to please, or just emotionally unavailable. You do crave recognition but also terrified of being seen and judged. You overwork, over-plan, stay in your head, and still feel like you’re falling behind. You compare yourself constantly with others whom have figured it all out.

Saturn Rx in 11th - It feels like being in a room full of people and still feeling like you don’t fully belong. You want connection, community, people who get you but it’s like there’s a wall between you and the group, even when you're right there with them. Friendships might feel distant, inconsistent, or one-sided. You might struggle with trust when it comes to social circles or feel like you always have to keep a piece of yourself tucked away to be accepted. There's often a deep loneliness that doesn't show on the outside.

Saturn Rx in 12th - You probably learned early on to keep things to yourself, to process your pain quietly, or to disappear when you're overwhelmed. Asking for help feels impossible. Being vulnerable feels unsafe. And when you do fall apart, you often feel shame after like you failed some invisible standard. You're highly sensitive to energies around you, but you don’t always know what’s yours and what you’ve absorbed. Dreams, intuition, emotions are intense, but also confusing, like you’re constantly trying to decode yourself from the inside out.

✨ Curious how Saturn Rx shows up in your chart? Wanna go deeper into the layers of your placements? DM me for a complete astrology reading 🌙💬 and check out my pinned post for pricing + details 💫💸

Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐

[gangplanksorenji]

Kinknuary Day 2: Praise Kink

Pairing: IVE Jang Wonyoung x Male Reader

Word Count: 3,760

[Kinknuary Masterlist]

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Sophisticated and classy—that’s one of the few words to describe this girl that has been on your nerves since probably day one. You hate her attitude and so is the luck every time you’re with her as everything seems to fall out of place, maybe in the worst-case scenario, you guess. 

Well, in all honesty, you don’t hate the princess. You never did.

It’s just all about jealousy and distraught with your own confidence that whenever she steps in, it crumbles like paper—easily defeated and turned into a ball of nothingness.

Well, everything changed within a singular snap of a finger (it’s figurative, of course) and you feel light-headed just being here, with her, holding her soft hands as she reassures you. She wasn’t even going to try anything that’ll exhaust such a plethora of energy because she knows herself how her charisma and visuals can make a man fall in love with her, not to mention rejecting dozens of men trying to ignite the love in heart but failed miserably.

But here you are, being the biggest irony of Wonyoung’s definition of love… or is it?

“Come on, oppa, we even have two hours left! Please, just stay…”

You can’t and you don’t want to. She can meet you anytime around the day or even in the whole week but you know she ain’t going to give up so easily, knowing she’s not going to stop until she gets what she wants. She wanted you to stay but your job is done here, you’ve taught her well, she pays the price and you’re going to leave her. Simple, yet her charms allure you but you fight yourself against it.

“I said what I said, Wonyoung, okay? I can’t—”

“You can't what, hm?” Wonyoung thuds her foot on the floor, frustrated upon your own actions of leaving her. She grabs your wrists, pulling it with maybe all of her strength (you can’t really tell it because on how easy it is outpower her, your muscular arms against her thin figure doesn’t make it a challenge) and then pouting right after, wanting you to stay and not leave her at this moment, at least.

Well, you can’t just let herself win all the time like she was always used to. You want to see the defeat on her sparkling orbs full of anticipation and her hope being lost—

“Then leave! I don’t need you anymore, oppa! Don’t touch me ever again!”

And there she goes with her reverse psychological attempts of gaslighting and never ceases to make you feel the sudden urge of being dead inside, unable to think clearly and having struggles within deciding the most beneficial one, for you, of course.

Here’s the thing: you don’t want her yet you like her—it’s a win-win situation and why should you overthink yourself about this? It’s like you’re going to lose a lot from this or gain a lot yet you know how cranky and bratty Wonyoung can get and it’s the greatest bane of your existence. Seeing Wonyoung becoming a nuisance and ill-tempered unlocks your irascible self and you hate her for that (and thank god, it happens pretty rarely).

You wanted to fight your urges but you don’t want this to escalate further, knowing how selfish Wonyoung can be and how she won’t adjust even in the tiniest bit.

God, this girl—you muttered upon yourself as it was laced with venom, cursed and damned about meeting this not-so-angelic girl. You can’t resist your temptation either—staying with Wonyoung probably will end in both ways, hoping it’ll be good or better.

“Okay, tch—” You quickly rushed your way onto the couch, sitting on it and earning a loud thud which made Wonyoung gasp at your harsh actions of the possible damage on the furniture but you didn’t care. “There, happy, hm, Wony?”

Her earlier stern and helpless countenance was now replaced with joy and satisfaction, knowing you chose to stay (and it’s like you have a choice because it’s impossible whenever she’s near). 

“Hah, yey! You’re definitely the best, oppa!” Wonyoung sat beside you and rested her head onto your shoulder, signaling the delight that she’s feeling knowing that she’s with you and you choose what’s best for her. “I know you can’t resist me, oppa.”

“Heck yeah I can't cause you’re gonna go nuts if I reject you.”

“What did you say?” Wonyoung pouts yet the glare in her eyes are evident, and so is the distaste that she feels after hearing such unacceptable cacophony. You know that she didn’t mind it, not even the slightest so you just brushed it off with a single “Nothing, Wonyoung.” and all things went normal yet an uncanny feeling in the can be felt—no, it's just Wonyoung on her knees, in front of you—

“What are you doing, Wonyoung?” 

You don't feel so good about this and have this nerve of an unwanted vice happening anytime soon. You knew this would come and you shouldn't have given in to her wants yet the other side of you is full of anticipation as your primal desires are slowly taking over you.

“Don't be so oblivious, oppa. Let me return the favor of everything you've done earlier.” You didn't deserve such a thing, even though you're not new to this—well, also thanks to her, she took your virginity away—you still don't need this favorable return. You just helped her study and tutored her but why would this be the return? Isn't such a simple soul like you enough for a gift?

You can't turn back now; you're only going to move forward and it's just only going to get better from here.

“But why, Wony? I don't deserve such—”

“Shut it, oppa—” Wonyoung tugs your pants as those perfect, dainty fingers scramble on unbuckling your belt and loosening up the clothed defenses that protects the desired grand prize. “—now would you let your little Wony reward you, daddy?”

Of course, the pet name—it turns you on so much that now, you can't contain anything but let your animalistic desires out. You can't stop her because it's too late and in fact, you want this and you're an absolute hypocrite if you don't. 

Things went like a flash—it felt like everything felt too fast as time sped up like a rocket but you didn't care because you wanted her, utterly.

With the last clothed defense on your iron wall, it collapses down to your ankles as it was proven worthless now, your hardening member is now within the sight of her refulgent orbs—god, it just feels better, doesn't it? You're maybe in heaven but the devil is just beside you and the oxymoron never failed to be in its own party.

With the draw of her nails onto your leaking slit, it draws pain and pits gasoline of the fire—pain associated with pleasure and not close to drawing blood. 

“Oh god, Wonyoung—we don't really need to d-do this…”

“Oh stop it, daddy. I know you wanted this and let your little girl pleasure you for the time being—” Wonyoung places her lips onto your swollen head, giving it a small peck that makes you shudder, your mouth escaping beautiful moans that fuels the primal lust and ego of Wonyoung. 

She seems to be the one that likes her ego getting petted and you're here to absolutely do it.

“Such a good g-girl for daddy, Wonyoung. So skilled and so good—you're definitely loving the taste of my cock don't you, hm?”

You're getting cocky and you know Wonyoung is loving this despite the utter brattiness and hypocrisy running down her mind.

“Gah—you know y-your cock is something I can't r-resist, daddy…”

She continues her moderate bobs as your base is now getting wet with her drool that is now starting to drip all over your sensitive head and her chin. She's in her own league and in an absolute masterclass when it comes to dick-sucking—such lips made like a cocksleeve is truly the one to be treasured as it perfectly hugs around your shaft like it was molded around it, her pleasurable suction being the cherry on top.

Her cheeks hollow in every thrust she does with her talented mouth, and you're no stranger to tell her how great she's been blowing you and it only has been a minute—and god, she's making your brain go haywire.

You stroke her hair and caress her cheeks, letting her know how great she is in terms of sucking you off. “Keep doing that, baby. This cock is all for you, princess. So, so, good—god, fuck!”

And it is incredibly off the charts—the corkscrew motions of her fingers, the dance of her tongue filled with enamore and the overstimulating suction is just, nearly, too much to handle. 

No one can top off her skills as she's just a professional in this—every second sending you weak, on your knees as every technique known to enervate your defenses is being presented right now and you can't think of anything articulate except the fact that Wonyoung's mouth is exerting too much effort as it's getting near the promised land—

“Just like—that—baby, ah! So fucking good—god, how are you so incredibly talented in possibly anything?”

Stroke her ego and she definitely loves it—her pupils dilating everytime you commend her is one strong piece of evidence. It's true even though it may seem like you're playing with her and it's crazy to think about it. She may be the jack-of-all-trades when it comes to everything but it’s definitely not even close with that in accordance to her selfish and diabolical attitude—it’s contradicting but you guess it’s just the fact that she always wanted to be treated like a princess and her sophisticated life explains about it. 

Well as much as you’d wanna do the opposite, it’s going to be completely questionable if you’ll degrade the superior job she’s doing between your legs. A flick of her tongue nears you onto that finish line as well as the dexterity of her slender fingers—it doesn’t help at all, considering you still want to savor and cherish every second of Wonyoung’s masterclass, the inevitable can’t be stopped as the growing sensation in your loins is ready to unload everything inside her heavenly mouth.

“Your mouth Wony—”

Her pace is ridiculous, unmatched han any other as her warm cavern glides onto your shaft like a loose speedster, in a hot pursuit—

“—it’s too good—”

Her silken plumpness made to unleash the profanities inside you, unshackling them and bringing them to their endgame but—

Pop. 

“B-but why’d you stop? I’m so close, Wony!”

You vent out the little frustration towards Wonyoung as your high suddenly became on the lowest point, subsided even before you’ve truly noticed it. Wonyoung just pouts at you adorably, apologizing for what she's done and god, the saliva dripping down to her chin and all around your cock is just a sight to see. It was feeling so damn good until she played with you but you’re not furious about it because she’s maybe wanting something and probably—this last bit is what you’re hoping for—having multiple things in store for you, for later.

She’s only getting started and it’s only going to get better than this.

Her quivering plump lips, her disheveled hair, her beautiful façade—every inch of her perfect is such a sight for a nice canvas to be painted on but it is what it is.

“Want you in my pussy now, daddy. God—I really love your cock, so much I just can’t get enough of it.”

Yes, it’s like her favorite candy she’s ready to brag about and it’s addicting. Ever since you’ve slept with her, it became a whole different story being with her as you always envisioned the nastiest things with her whenever you think about her and it’s clouded your mind ever since. Well, now, you have a lot of things to fulfill with her and the blowjob earlier was just the beginning of a show that’s bound to happen.

“I can’t get enough of your mind-boggling blowjobs too, Wony. You make me feel—” You switch places with her, pinning her down slowly onto the couch, your face now inching closer and closer towards her. “—great and that’s what I like about this.”

Without any foreplay, you capture her lips off-guard as you make the most passionate kiss possible that’ll make her feel butterflies in her stomach. Its saccharine taste makes it insatiable, wanting more of her yet a hot half a minute of this flustering moment is enough for the both of you to exchange breaths.

“Like the taste of you, daddy? ‘Cause I do—like, a lot.” Your face was puzzled after Wonyoung said that, also confused and unsure on what to imply as you playfully retorted against her. “I mean, your lips really made everything insatiable. Just can't get enough of you honestly…”

You continue the intimacy, fueling the lust inside you by dominating her with your tongue as she eagerly reciprocates, the kiss getting too heated but Wonyoung taps your shoulder, signaling you to detach away from her lips. You don’t know why exactly she wants this to be over but with Wonyoung’s enlightenment of the climax, your mind has been cleared and awakened, and so are your primal desires.

“As much as I want to kiss you, daddy, my pussy’s been wet since I’ve sucked you off—so p-please, daddy—hng!”

And who are you to reject it? You want to pound her tight cunt as much as you wanted her today and there’s no one to stop you right now, and neither is she. With the best of both worlds, you elevated the anticipating climax yet a brighter idea will make this session a wilder ride.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom, princess—would pound your tight, perfect pussy so hard that you’re only going to think about me only.”

And there and there, everything went off the cliff, up to the highest paramount of events…

-----------------------------------

“Too good, daddy!” Your fingers up her delicious cunt never fails to earn the most heavenly whimpers escaping Wonyoung’s mouth, let alone fueling the lust inside you as your slit leaks precum just from the sight of her tight cunt squelching and clenching around your digits.

“It’s only going to get better from here, princess—” A harsh spank resonates around the puny room as the dissonance of her orchestrated moans makes your hardened length throb in need, unable to control anything. “—because I’m going to treat you like a princess but fuck you like how you deserve it.”

“W-wha—what d-did I deserve, daddy?”

“A rough one, Wony. Since you’ve done a great job at the start…”

As the heat in the air is still ignited, you take the last bit of teasing with your digits and hard spanks as you’re lost for words once you’ve plunged your length inside her. It never gets old and she’s still as suffocatingly tight as ever, not to mention with even the slightest of movement and her pussy responses with the tightest clench possible. Gripping her hips for a small leverage, you thrust in her slowly as you ensue a few kisses onto the nape of her neck, earning such moans that just makes you want to build up the pace even more.

“Ahh, daddy—it’s so good! You’re s-stretching me—ahh—so w-well…”

“And you take me so well, Wony. Your pussy is literally made for me to be hammered, hm?” You quicken the pace, just withdrawing with only the tip inside and then slamming back in, filling her up to the hilt. She mewls in every thrust you do, further arousing you as she grips onto the sheets as a leverage on the harsh acts you’re doing on her tight cunt. Adding some spanks in every oscillation of your hips, you notice how it clenches every time you do it and you’re loving every second of it—loving how helpless and lewd your princess has become is truly a sight to behold. 

“You’re so good at taking my huge cock, princess…” Your brush off her silky-smooth hair off her shoulders as you pepper her neck and back with kisses that further makes the act hotter than what could it be. You trace the curvature of her waist down to her slender thighs that probably run for days and god, why does a princess have to be this perfect? Down every last feature Wonyoung has is in its absolute flawless state and you can’t help but be in awe as you in every ram you do inside her clenching heat is the praise of her faultless figure.

“Good god, Wony—down to your beautiful face up to your pussy, you’re just so fucking perfect aren’t you?”

“Gah, daddy! Fuck me harder please!”

A spank as the retaliation of her hostile takeover of lust has won, and you, the dominative one will orchestrate things onto your own accord, not hers.

“Wonyoung, you’re lucky I can fuck this good because no one can and you’re mine—every perfectly tight hole in your body is mine to use, do you understand?” Between thrusts you spat her with venomous yet genuine words, but she could only cry in pleasure as your thrusts are just too much for her to think of something articulate enough of a response so, it only took her ten seconds to come up with something— “Yes, d-daddy—ahh!”

Such rampant actions never cease to make someone scream in delight and it’s every man's dream to be in this position. Kiss, spank, thrust and repeat, it goes around in circles and you’re not going to stop it because you’re in a state of do-or-die (figuratively, of course) because in any second now, you can feel yourself getting on your high and so is Wonyoung’s, her pussy creaming all over your enraged length is enough of an evidence.

“Wonyoung—fuck! You’re so tight and so good!”

“Daddy I’m going to c-cum—gahh, so s-soon! Please!”

That’s the green light to bring another onslaught of thrusts with no-return, hammering her cunt like it’s rent due alongside grabbing her hair for her heavenly moans to be unshackled (and if you’re wondering, her arms gave out two minutes earlier because of too much pleasure as she rested her hair onto the mattress, muffling her moans in which, you didn’t really like). With the obviously lewd moans (almost screams) of Wonyoung and the repetitive clenching of her tight heat, you know that she’s about to get off so you gave her the final set of the harshest thrusts possible to mankind as it was too enough and all are let out.

You pull out of her gripping pussy as she squirts all over the bedsheets, your cock and even to your toned abdomen. You finger her repetitively in a deft pace that she cries in a wanton need and that even fuels you further into abomination.

“You good, Wony?”

“Y-yes, daddy—unload it a-all in my pussy—” Her shining orbs pleads you onto her desires, wanting you to fulfill it. Her pupils dilate once again, anticipating on a good note with you— “—please…”

“I’m dying to cum inside this perfect pussy of yours, Wonyoung.”

Pinning her down onto the bed (not so harshly), you tease her pussy with your swollen cockhead for a bit, in which earns the finest moans escaping her lips and so are the needy whimpers. Without any time to waste, you plunge into her dripping core once again but this time, the penetration is crazingly-deep, achieving the sensation of a lifetime that makes you feel butterflies. You command her to place both of her legs onto your shoulders, wanting to achieve the deepest penetration possible as she did and god, that felt way better than earlier and it’s too heavenly to be true.

“Ahh—daddy—I—gahh, so so good and d-deep! Fuck me h-hard—cum i-inside me—gahh, please!”

The desperation in her eyes says it all. Even with the messed-up makeup, tears and her disheveled hair all over the place, it’s not even a challenge to sense how needy she is for you and your seed to be deposited inside her. Now bringing the thrusts that surpasses the harshness of your actions earlier, and making Wonyoung the most raucous she’s ever been—all in the experience on the paramount of delight as everything seems to be at that moment, just a step away from your both desired promised lands. You weren’t far off of your high and Wonyoung can sense it through your eyes as she helps out, fucking herself onto your length as you chase your high, grabbing her waist and hips harshly as the leverage with your relentless pursuit onto her pussy.

“I’m going to cum, Wonyoung! So fucking close in this perfect cunt of yours—fuck!”

And you break, everything loose as you bury your length inside her, balls-deep as you unload everything you’ve got and your moans and Wonyoung’s blessed the entire room as it reverberated all over. With your last groan and the hard grip of her hips, your orgasm finally subsided as it was an euphoric one—it was so euphoric that you almost passed out but it wasn’t really close. Wonyoung on the other hand, laid down flat on the bed, enervated from the steamy sex session yet she smiles widely, knowing that your load is inside her pussy as the warmth of it elicits the sultriest of moans.

“Thank you, daddy—hah… For this load… Hah, I love i-it…”

That changed your demeanor from a stern, dominative one to softer, warmhearted as you blush because of her, feeling so grateful and thankful for this moment as the earlier omnipotence of power now subsided, back to your old self.

“Thank you too, Wonyoung—you took me so well… hah, that was exhausting…”

“Yeah, I know, oppa…” She brushes her fingers all over your chest, tracing it slowly as she looks at you endearingly, her eyes telling you how much she loved this moment, disregarding the fact of the pain that she felt—she liked it because it turned her on even more—from all of your harshness and spanking. She’s genuine about it and you could tell it without her even uttering a single word.

“We should clean up, oppa, actually.”

“Yeah, oh no, I think you need some new set of sheets after this.”

“You’re the one to blame here, oppa! You made me squirt so hard!!”

And the bratty, sophisticated Wonyoung is back and here we go again, back from the despair and being the bugbear she is…

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Bratty!Fem!reader

Fandom: Call of Duty

Character(s): Simon Riley, Reader

Summary: Tired of your antics regarding how cavalier you take your sexual relationship, your lieutenant cuts you off and that has you immediately plotting. You know you can get him to break and all it'll take is one purchase. How can he keep his resolve when he sees what you've bought? And how will he act when he catches you?

Word Count: 6.8 k

Warnings:

The office is silent now except for the distant sounds of movement filtering in from outside the door of people coming and going through the building. Your shirt clings in a rumpled mess to your body, sweat speckling across your limbs from that specific heat that gets shared between two bodies, euphoria still running through your veins when the man sitting beneath you speaks. “We’re not doin’ this again, so get that straight. Understand?”

You tilt your head to the side and raise a curious eyebrow, staring back into the face of your lieutenant as he gets you to your feet and grabs his shirt to throw it back over his head, covering his sweat-glistening torso. “Care to explain what you’re talking about or am I meant to just guess?” you ask with snark in your tone as you pick up the rest of your clothing off the floor.

Buttoning his pants and re-buckling his belt, he takes his time before answering as you finish and stand there impatient and agitated. “What the fuck did I say about startin’ stuff with me when I’m busy?” Lt. Riley questions back, his voice harsh. “Did ya think I was jokin’ or are ya just hell bent on gettin’ caught? Cause that’s what’s gonna fuckin’ happen if ya keep temptin’ me in the middle of the day.”

“You could turn me away,” you say with a roll of your eyes, “ever heard of self-control?”

Stepping up close to your body, the lieutenant grabs you by the chin and looks down his nose at you. “You’re too much of a distraction. And ya need to be taught a lesson, sweetheart; when I say somethin’ I fuckin’ mean it. Consider this my self-control.” 

“Oh, gonna punish me now?” you ask, crossing your arms over your chest as you pull your face out of his grasp with a flick of your head. “Okay, go ahead. Let’s see what you got.”

“Ya ain’t gettin’ nothin’ from me til I can be sure you’re gonna listen. You’re cut off, sweetheart, and until ya can learn, we’re done with this.” 

You hold his gaze steadfast, not intimidated in the least. If he wants to play this game, then you’ll play it, but if he thinks this is going to end the way he wants, he is going to be sorely mistaken. “Fine.” You don’t argue, there is no sense to. “Have it your way, sir. Is that all?”

You’ll have it your way soon enough. All it’ll take is patience.

He doesn’t say anything, opting to sit back in the chair behind his desk without uttering another word. It is a gross miscalculation on Lt. Riley’s part not to immediately take your acceptance if his reprimand as a giant red flag, but if he isn’t willing to put his knowledge of your competitive temperament to use then that is fully on him; he is a big boy and since he wants to talk about consequences, then he should be ready to receive his own.

You double check yourself in silence before you leave his office with a smug sense of satisfaction, though a plan isn’t in mind just yet. It doesn’t matter really, the bigger they are the harder they fall and you are confident that you can make him fold with very little effort because despite being a man of mostly mystery, you know the intimate details of what makes that 6’4” military officer weak. 

The day isn’t even over before you already have a plan in mind and it all involves one very specific item. It’s a shame you have to order it, but the time it’ll take to come in the post will work in your favor. Lt. Riley needs time to cool off, to miss his pretty thing, to let his appetite for you get ravenous again.

Patience was never your virtue unless it came to getting something you wanted, so you bore your restlessness in silence as you waited for your order to come in. You give the lieutenant his space without a fuss, letting him believe his little delusion that at any moment you’ll come crawling back ready to obey him just as he wants.

A week passes and then nearly another when finally you are gifted with your prize that comes in the evening mail that Friday. You can taste the sweetness of your retribution already as you rip into the package and pull out the smallest, tightest pair of jet black hot pants with white trim. No more keeping this body for his eyes only; if he doesn’t want to give you the attention you desire then someone else will. 

You rush to your barracks the second the day comes to a close with your package in hand; you have only a short window of time to pull your entire plan together or you’ll be forced to wait till after the weekend and you are tired of waiting. Tonight is the night that you make your lieutenant come crawling back to you and stop with this nonsense.   

The tiny swath of fabric covering your ass barely hides a damned thing from view, hugging around your hips like they are painted on and resting at the very top of your thighs so that the underside of your butt peeks out from below the hem. There is a slit that goes up the side and it is doing its job in making your legs look extra long while also showing as much skin as possible. It leaves almost nothing to the imagination for anyone who happens to look your way… and boy do you want as many eyes on you as you can get.

Let’s see him be steadfast in his resolve to teach you a lesson now.

With a head full of devious thoughts, you leave your room and head out onto base and into the oncoming night. Shoulders back and head held high you walk past the buildings with confidence on the way to your first stop of the night: the officers building. You had checked the clock just before you left, it’s nearly time now. He’ll be leaving his office soon and you need him to catch sight of you on the way to your second destination: the rec center.

How lucky it is that the lieutenant is a man of routine and so giving it another minute or two you step out in front of the building and start heading directly for the rec, though at a slower pace than usual. And sure enough, when you’re still within eyeshot, you hear the front door to the building open. 

Stepping out into the cooler evening air, Lt. Riley looks up and his sight is captured by a figure moving just up ahead in the distance. People coming and going isn’t abnormal on a military base, but what really catches his attention is the familiarity of the body and the way that body is dressed. He is stunned in his tracks because you are barely wearing anything at all with shorts that look like they’ve been painted on. Paired with the tight black tank top you’ve chosen and you might as well be naked for all the covering it does. After a good almost two weeks of no action, the man is starved…but also curious as to where the fuck you are going dressed like this. 

The best thing would have been for the lieutenant to turn tail and walk away, leave it and you alone, but as smart as Lt. Riley is when it comes to temptation the man is a goddamn fool that cannot help himself.

You are a good bit ahead by the time he takes action and decides to follow you, but he keeps the pace as heat floods his body from staring at the back of you walking away, desperately wanting to take a bite out of all that juicy meat tempting his gaze as it bounces with each sure-footed step you take. Fuck, he is a sucker for all the plump, tender parts of your body and having them on display like this is a regular buffet that he can’t help but soak up even with his nosiness into what exactly has you looking so killer. 

Those auburn eyes of his continue to follow you as you come to the front of a building and enter. Now that you are out of view, he can think more clearly and he realizes that it’s the rec center that you’ve just entered. The closer the lieutenant gets, the more he catches raucous sounds of many voices braying like a pack of crazed hounds, making him quicken his steps that match his rising blood pressure until he stands just outside the doors to peer in without being detected yet.

Through the glass doors he can see towards the back of the main room that a group of privates surrounding the single government bought pool table with cues in hand are now circling you like wolves circling a wounded deer, practically begging you to join them for a few games while he knows that its only to get you to stay longer so that they can enjoy the view. It makes his blood boil to watch them ogle you like that, getting far too close to what isn’t theirs. 

…to what belongs to him.

Standing in silence, now cloaked in darkness as night has fallen, he watches angrily as a private gets bold enough to place his hand at the small of your back just as you lean over the table to make your first shot and suddenly he is seeing red. He can barely comprehend anything through the angry haze clouding his vision, but he can feel the cold steel of the door handle in his hand as he wrenches it open and stalks inside as if he is ready to kill.   

All eyes immediately drift towards the source of the sound. You look up through a giggle to see the form of the lieutenant standing there, sharp gaze boring straight into you specifically and the man who still has his hand on you. 

“What’s goin’ on ‘ere,” that deep voice booms through the small space to quiet the rowdy bunch.

“Is there a problem, sir?” one of the more brave privates speaks up.

His sight doesn’t leave you. “Seems we need to have a chat about propriety,” he growls. “This is a military base, not a fuckin’ strip club.” 

You smirk. “I don’t know what kind of strip clubs you frequent, sir, but I can assure you that this is more clothing than most will allow.”

A few of the privates snicker behind you, impressed with your audacity to backtalk someone as imposing as the skull-masked officer and that does nothing but add fuel to the fire.

“Come with me- now.” His voice is firm. 

A collective “ooooh” passes around the bunch that is quickly quelled with one harsh glare. “If I were ya I would get back to my fuckin’ game,” Lt. Riley barks. “Or would you lot rather be placed on permanent fire guard to drive the goddamn point home, since ya want to meddle in an officer’s business?”

His command is absolute and none of the privates have the balls enough to question it. Quickly they scramble back to their game, keeping their heads down and eyes locked to the table. Whatever trouble you are about to get in is none of their concern, not when being reprimanded by the imposing lieutenant is on the line.

Satisfied, those amber eyes snap right back to you. “Move, now,” he demands and points towards an area of the rec that is blocked off by a wall, essentially cutting the room in two and will give enough privacy that the others inside won’t be able to witness what is about to transpire. 

“Of course, sir,” you say in agreement without a syllable of dissention. 

Turning on your heels you take off in the direction pointed out to you, walking ahead of the masked officer eagerly. He’s mad; there is no need to turn around, you can feel his glare on you the entire walk over and it makes you smile. You’ve hit the nerve you had hoped to. Now to bring it all home and get your lover back the way you want. 

As soon as you make it behind the cover of the corner his hand is on your waist as he shoves you into the wall with brute force. Your back hits it and you let out a surprised gasp. He stands towering over top of you, a powerfully intimidating figure with a massive presence to match as he glares you down with fire in his gaze. 

“Can I fucking help you?” you ask as you quickly regain your composure.

Christ, when you want to get his attention you sure know how to do it. “What the fuck do ya think you’re doin’, hmm?” he questions back heatedly. “Puttin’ on a fuckin’ show for all the privates? Do ya fuckin’ think this appropriate, what ya got on?”

Something about having this conversation with the barrier of his balaclava covering his face infuriates you as if this was any other time he would have already had it off his face. “You think you can just treat me like everyone else after all we’ve done? Fuck you; take off the mask when you’re talking to me.”

His eyes narrow as he shakes his head side to side. “You don’t get to make demands a me anymore, princess.”

“Oh yeah?” you challenge back. “That what you think?”

Leaning in a bit closer, you can feel the heat of his breath even as it filters through the fabric. “That’s what I know. Now answer the question. Do ya think this is appropriate?”

Your shrug is nonchalant. “For field work? Well, it depends on the climate I suppose. That doesn’t really apply here does it, since we are still on base. Why? Do you have a problem with it?”

A sharp hiss of air exits rapidly out of his nose. “Like hell I do,” he says and suddenly you can make out the feel of his fingertips as they toy around with the fabric at the edge of your shorts. He lets them brush against your outer thigh as he follows the line of the hem up the slit that goes higher towards your hip. There is electricity in his touch and it makes your pulse start to race. “You're distracting my men. An outfit like this is askin’ for attention. Whose fuckin’ attention ya tryin’ to get, hmm?”

“Who said anything about attention?” you question him back as if you can’t possibly understand what all the fuss is about. “I just wanted to be comfortable. You know, unwind and all that after a long week.”

“Comfortable,” he scoffs as he rolls the fabric in between his fingers. “Ya barely have a god damned thing on.”

“Maybe that’s how I feel most comfortable,” you push, your reply a little more breathy. “You of all people should know that.” 

Oh you are walking on thin ice, lying to him like this. He is not that innocent that he can’t tell what you’re doing and you are not that naive to think that he won’t immediately figure it out. Harshly grabbing your chin, he holds your face firm in his grasp as his dark eyes shadowed within the confines of his mask stare back into your own. 

“Don’t ya lie to me, sweetheart,” he says, that gruff voice metered and unyielding in its severity. “The way ya were just eatin’ up how those boys reacted, I know ya didn’t fuckin’ dress like a slag for nothin’.”

“Are they not allowed to look, Simon?” you ask without missing a beat and using his name as if it’s a curse.

The question hangs in that air as Simon shifts in his stance while not saying a word, eyes narrowing as he realizes that there is no right way for him to answer that without giving himself away that he has dug himself into trouble.

A smug grin crosses your lips before you try to lick it away. “Ah, so that’s the problem right? That they were looking at me? Strange, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were… jealous. But that can’t be right, can it Simon? Because I thought I was cut off and that you were done, so it’s all fair game yeah? Unless there is something you want to fess up to?”

Simon’s chiseled jaw twitches under his mask as his eyes shimmer; you are pushing it, though why is he even surprised. “Ya better watch it, luv,” he warns under his breath as his grip along your chin tightens. “You are playin’ with fire and if ya ain’t careful, your pretty little fingers are gonna fuckin’ burn.” 

And before you are even made conscious of it, your mind immediately knows what to say in response. You hold his gaze steadfast in your own. “Make me.”

Those two little words and their variations are Simon’s kryptonite and you know it; that’s what got you on his cock in the first place. Nothing else can make that man go feral than a threat from a bratty bitch that puts him in the position to show them the consequences of what their cocky attitudes get them.  

You smirk, satisfied with how you seem to have the upper hand in this little confrontation. Simon is now in a place where he will either have to admit he still wants you and that his threat meant nothing or he will have to let you go… and you know by the rapid increase in the rise and fall of his chest the longer you stand between him and the wall that the latter is looking less and less likely. 

“Still waiting on your answer,” you say with a smug, satisfied grin spread across your lips, “or is it that if you say anything, it’ll make it clear that you are now regretting a certain… decision… you so hastily made?”

God, you know just how to rile him up in the exact way that both infuriates and entices him. His devil with a pretty face, his sin that feels like heaven; he is drawn to your stubbornness like a moth is drawn to a flame.

“Ya vicious little bitch,” he says, the words sharp. 

Gotcha, you think to yourself. You have that serious military officer right where you want him. Now all you have to do is go in for the kill. You take a step into him even with your chin still secure in his grasp. “Oh yeah,” you respond, your voice husky. “As if you don’t fucking love it.”

You are met with only silence as a shiver runs straight through him. He’s barely able to react in time to hide its presence, but grits his teeth hard and stifles any movement other than the rapid breaths he continues to take. 

“Cat got your tongue?” you ask and wait for a response that doesn’t come; you don’t expect it to. “That’s what I thought. So, here’s how it’s going to work: I’m gonna wear what I want, when I want, and if you don’t like how others react to my wardrobe then that’s on you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I got a game to return to.” 

Pulling your head back forcefully out of his grip, his strong, rough fingers release your chin and he watches as you make your move to step past him, but he can’t let this go like he had originally planned. This is the game you both play and he just can’t quit you. You are his, his, and he isn’t going to just let you forget that. You barely take the first few steps around him headed back the way you came when you hear Simon mutter under his breath. 

“Fuck,” the sigh hits your ears before his arm jettisons out and grabs you by the wrist. 

Your body is spun around and pulled into him, your back flush against his warm chest as he leans himself back against the wall. His hand shoots up to cover over your mouth, cupping across your cheeks to stifle any sound that may come from the shock of his action. Sure enough you gasp into his palm as he straps you to his chest by locking you in place with his other arm. 

“You’re not goin’ anywhere, princess,” he grunts lowly into your ear. 

Stoic and silent he pushes a knee up through the gap in your legs to widen them before his hand slinks down your abdomen, over your pants, and comes to rest against your sex. That large palm now nestled in between your thighs presses up into you and it only takes a few seconds for Simon to realize that he can feel the lips of your pussy straight through the thin fabric of your pants without any barrier. No panties, really?

You fucking witch. You planned this, didn’t you?

There are still soldiers hanging about, out of sight for the moment, but still not something that is conducive for such an encounter. He wouldn’t risk something like this…would he? What you think is going to be a quick touch and pull back turns into his hand locking to your pussy as he begins to massage it through your pants. He pushes his fingers up through the cloth until he can feel the outline of your clit on his fingertips.

A quiet chuckle falls from your lips behind his handmade muzzle as his fingers make contact with the crotch of your shorts and you feel his chest jerk as he struggles to catch his breath. Feel something you like, lieutenant? you think as the corners of your mouth upturn against his skin. 

A moan barely squeaks out from around his hand before he presses it harder against your lips. “Don’t need someone catchin’ us, do we? Not til I’m finished with ya.”

Those heated words cause your heart to race violently, thudding strong against your ribcage to match a certain throbbing growing in strength between your thighs. 

“You gonna keep quiet?” he asks and you nod in his hand. “Don’t make me regret it or else, princess.”

Simon removes his palm and wraps his arms around your waist; you’re not going anywhere. “We could still get caught, you know,” you say softly, stumbling over your words as his fingers continue to play.

“Ya should've thought of that before ya tempted me with this fuckin’ skin, luv,” he murmurs against the side of your head. There is no way in hell you are getting out of these shorts without him fucking you out of them, he will stop only when he can feel a wet spot soaking through the crotch. “ ‘Sides, maybe I want that prick that had his fuckin’ hands on ya ta see that he doesn’t stand a chance.” 

He won’t, he has never been the type to share but the threat serves its purpose. The boys at the pool table continue to distract themselves, but who knows how long that will last. If they come creeping over, there is no way they won’t instantly know what is happening. And yet over and over his large fingers grind against your clit until it begins to ache. 

“Gimme your hand,” he searches for the appendage, only to be met with resistance once he locates it. 

“I said give,” he reiterates the point in that more authoritative tone he is used to using with his men.

You shake your head that still rests in his grasp; you don’t want to make this easy for him. If he wants something he is going to have to work for it. Encapsulating your wrist in his hand, the muscles along his forearm strain as he drags your arm up from your side. He takes your hand firmly in his, fingers lacing themselves over the top of your own as he descends them both down the front of your body and slips them into the waistband of your shorts. No time is wasted in bringing them directly between your legs, parting through your warm, soft lips, and nestling both sets of fingers inside. 

“Gonna need ya ta participate in this part,” he says, low and bassey at the side of your face. “You’re fuckin’ achin’ bad, aren’t ya? Christ luv, I can already feel how swollen your clit is.”

Simon keeps your conjoined fingers resting up against that tiny bundle of nerves. There is a tension-filled pause as he takes a deep, labored breath as the end of his thought hangs anxiously in the air, waiting for him to finish it. His lips are right at the threshold of your earlobe, you can feel their presence as they ghost near the tender flesh, the skin tingling as his warm breath wafts over the area.

You suddenly realize the lack of oxygen filling your lungs as he finally speaks. “Let’s make it worse,” he growls. 

A shiver snakes through your spine as he forces your fingers to work in tandem with his in rolling circles over your sensitive clit, stroking again and again in a steady rhythm that he has set. 

“Best hope they decide to leave soon, sweetheart,” he breathes the words into your ear as he rests his forehead against your temple. “Cause if ya want me to let ya fuckin’ come, they’re gonna have to be gone. Until then we’re just gonna have to keep ya wet and fuckin’ ready.”

His phallus pulses against your ass through his pants, bobbing with his racing heartbeat as it prods into the cheek of your ass. A struggled, shaky breath escapes your lips as he moves his hips to press it into you; your sanity is hanging on by a thread. All you want is for him to bend you over, rip your shorts down, and thrust inside, but no matter how much you rub against it he does not take the bait.

Time passes so much slower as you stay strapped to him, his hand and yours shoved down the front of your shorts keeping you wet. Your sanity is beginning to wane; no one should be expected to keep it together when a lover who knows your body like the back of his hand is using everything to his advantage to keep you aching.

Pressure gathering in the pit of your stomach only to dissipate before it can ever come to fruition, over and over Simon brings you to the brink only to back off once you get close enough. It feels like eternity in the haze of his capable fingers working your body before the men finally decide that they have had enough with standing around the quiet center when the local bar is just a short drive down the road and head out, completely forgetting that they haven’t seen either you or the lieutenant for quite some time, but they also haven’t seen either of you leave. 

The moment the door shuts and the last sounds of talking can be heard drifting off into the distance, you are released and again turned only to be shoved back against the wall. Simon is immediately pressed against you, one knee collapsing into the wall between your legs as your hands greedily claw at the cloth gathered at base of his neck, fingers pulling up the bottom of his mask without hindrance so that they can get underneath it and push it up to expose his hungry mouth. A devilish, toothy grin waits to meet you as the fabric is removed; he’s proud of the desperation he has left you in. 

“They’re gone,” you say with a heavy bit of neediness. “I did what you said.” 

“Ya want me ta give it to ya now, that it?” he asks with a smug sense of self satisfaction. 

“You promised,” you shoot back, the agony of waiting becoming unbearable the longer he takes. 

His face inches in closer to yours, hot breath meeting and wafting over the skin on your lips as he exhales. “Ya think this is gonna be some sorta reward?” he asks, his voice lowering into the deeper part of his register, that gravely vibrato that turns your legs into jelly just from the sound.  

Those full lips of his ghost over your own, making the skin quiver from the proximity. Your mouth parts open as suddenly you feel like you can’t get enough air while waiting in misery for him to break and crash on you with all of his desire. A breathy gasp escapes through the gap as that thick thigh of his presses up into your pussy. He has you right where he wants you now.  

“Ya still got a fuckin’ lesson ta learn, princess,” he says. “So, I’m gonna have ta fuck the attitude til it comes drippin’ right out of ya.” 

And with that he leans down and forcefully connects your lips together so that your head hits the wall behind you. Fiery and aggressive he embraces your mouth again and again, lips fighting for dominance with each new connection. Breath and spit are shared as the wet smacking sounds of skin on skin hits the air and fills up the quiet of the place. 

You haven’t gotten your fill yet, but suddenly you find your body being lifted into the air and carelessly flung over one of his broad shoulders as he drags you back into the middle of the room. He eyes his destination the moment it comes into view from around the wall and quickly makes his way over to it; somewhere he can put you so he can get to work.

Your backside makes contact with the smooth felt of the pool table as Simon sets you down on top of it. The cool surface of the rails raises goosebumps on the back of your thighs as he situates you right at the edge. No longer pressed together, a spot of cold radiates from his thigh and he looks down to see a present you have left for him right on the fabric.

“Look what ya did,” he growls, pointing to the obviously darker patch on the inner thigh of his jeans. “Made a fuckin’ mess.”

“Whose…ng…fucking fault is that?” you whimper, adjusting yourself as every little movement puts pressure on your aching clit. 

“And I’d do it again ta keep my brat in line,” he smirks as his irises sparkle like a predator locking on to its prey. “Now, open your fuckin’ legs.”

You widen the gap between your thighs more, but he still has to use his hips to shove them open enough that he can fit in until he is right up against you. The sharp edge of his teeth cuts into the plump flesh of your bottom lip as he sucks it into his mouth to give it a hard nip. He swallows down the harsh groan you produce at his delicious brand of roughness like it’s honey. Every single sound you make in response to his actions is music to his ears. 

“Need ya ta know this type a shit isn’t gonna fly with me.”

Fingertips play around the perimeter of your cunt until he hooks them through the cool, damp crotch of your pants and wrenches them to the side to expose your entrance. “Let’s ruin these fuckin’ things,” he smugly says as he works with one hand to undo his pants and slide both that and his boxers down his thighs until his cock pops out of the waistband and stands hard and throbbing for you. “Don’t ever wanna see these goddamn things again after tonight.”

His vice-like grip on the crotch of your shorts causes a few of the overly taut threads to snap as he holds the fabric out of his way to align the swollen head of his cock with that dripping, aching hole he’s been working so that it’s already ready to take him in. You can feel the tip of his hard girth push against the moist skin before he bucks his hips and it strains through the barrier. His grip moves to your waist to force your body further down on him as you whine, the stretch overwhelming, but divine. 

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it, princess? Why you wore these tight fuckin’ things, yeah? Ya tryin’ ta make me take ya like an animal?” he grunts, the feel of your tight, silky walls fluttering around his cock as he fills you full threatening to send him straight to hell. 

“The moment I saw ya in ‘em I thought I was gonna lose control. Been a while since I had ya. That on purpose too?”   

You fall backward against the table, your back arching up off it and your eyes roll back into your head as he pulls you down while slamming the length of his phallus up into you until he reaches the base. He doesn’t give you a moment to gather your sanity and instead snaps his hips into you, the intensity in each stroke causing your body to jolt over the felted surface. 

“Look at me,” he grunts as he reaches out to grab at your chin and pull you back up to him, ���look - at - me.”

You’re unable to deny him when he’s thrusting so deep and your eyes open to meet his gaze again. “You’re mine, ya hear?” he breathes the words desperate and firm. “Nobody else can look at ya like this, got it? Nobody.”

His breath hitches a moment as a shudder runs through his cock from the way you tighten around it. “Those boys out there mighta gotten a show tonight, but that’s the last they’ll ever get,” he growls more intensely. “Don’t even want ‘em to think they have a fuckin’ chance wit ya cause you belong ta me. You were made for me, princess. Only me.”

Harder and harder he pounds into your pussy with a need that feels like it cannot be quenched no matter how deep he goes. “And nobody else - nobody else- ya don’t need anyone else ‘sides me. Say it.” 

A pathetic whimper is all he gets in response as his cock digs in deep, but that isn’t good enough. You’re gonna do exactly as he says and repeat it - out loud. His grip around your face tightens.

“Say it,” he demands again. 

“Don’t… need a-anyone…else…” you stammer out as it is a struggle now to speak. 

Then you hear it, the distinct sound of fabric beginning to rip. The seam along the crotch has had too much strain put on it and it is starting to give, threads ripping more steadily the harder Simon thrusts. God, that sound is the catalyst to you suddenly feeling wild, like all you want him to do is shred the fucking things off of you by screwing you out of them. It’s at that moment that familiar warmth begins to gather in your belly. It won’t be long now and you’ll be spilling.

“Say: you’re the only one I fuckin’ want,” he insists as he clenches to make his cock pulse inside of you.

Simon’s wide hand slides down from your chin to just at the base of your throat where he wraps it around and gives it a light squeeze for emphasis. The pressure feels like heaven amongst all the stimulation and trying to keep your eyes on him and speak at the same time is nearly impossible, but find your words soon enough.

You lick your parched lips. “You’re the only one I want, Simon,” you moan.

“Again.”

“You’re the only one I will ever want, Simon.”

Another couple of desperately strong thrusts. “And you’re gonna listen from now on, yeah?”

“Yes!” you blurt out.

He pulls you by the throat so that you meet him in a kiss as his hips never stop snapping into you. “Such a fuckin’ obedient girl for me,” he groans against your mouth as he breaks free from it. “Now, let’s make ya come so ya never fuckin’ forget who it is that ya belong to.”

Releasing your neck, Simon brings his hand down, parting through your dripping lips to find your clit so that he can rub over it as he thrusts. There is not much more you can take now; all his work before has done its job to perfection and your body is falling apart so rapidly it feels like the nosedive off that first ddrop of a rollercoaster. 

“G-gonna… gonna come, baby,” you stammer out. You bring your lips in closer to his, desperate to kiss him again, but the pleasure is just too much to handle that you devolve into simply panting instead. 

He inhales in ragged breaths the sweet air from your mouth, his teeth grinding together the harder he thrusts. All those days without you have been frustrating as he waited for you to come crawling back. He missed the feeling of you wrapped around him and right now he needs you to come on his cock. 

But this isn’t going to teach you what he wants. Pulling out amidst your whined protests, he pulls you off the table onto your feet and spins you around before pushing your upper body down while guiding you to spread your stance wider and ripping the crotch of your pants aside again, this time he doesn’t hesitate to enter you.

From this angle the penetration is even deeper and as his finger finds that tiny bud of nerve endings again, you are right back where you want to be - a mess ready to explode.   

“Come for me.” He is demanding while trying to hold it all together. “Now.”

Harder and harder he pushes, thrusting and stroking, and like the flick of a switch all that heat and all that pressure culminates in an explosion that has you crying out loudly as you come with force, your back arching to pull you away from his grasp. Waves wash through your body as the intensity of your orgasm shakes through you until your legs are vibrating around his hips. 

The moment you cry out he allows himself to let go, finally finished with his task, and fucking you through your orgasm he comes so hard that he has to grab the sides of the pool table to keep himself upright. Grunting like an animal he coats your walls and thrusts his cum continuously back up into you until he is spent and cannot go another second. 

Simon stays inside as you both come back down from that exhilarating high, two glistening bodies conjoined at the forehead with eyes closed until he has enough strength to pull his sensitive cock carefully out of you. Both of your mixed juices follow his cock out, dribbling out of your entrance to collect in the crotch of your pants as they snap back into place now that there is nothing keeping them pushed aside. 

You flip yourself back over and lean against the edge of the table to look down at what’s left of your shorts. They are completely soaked, drenched in so much of your juices that they look wet. The ruined fabric clings to your body as if it’s glued on and you are left feeling cold down there as Simon pulls away.

“That’s better,” he says with satisfaction as he studies his handiwork of the ripped, saturated fabric. “And so is this.”

A more gentle kiss is placed on your lips this time, one in praise of you doing so well for him. You reciprocate the feeling by cupping his face in your hands.

“And we’re not gonna have any more a this, right?” he asks as he pulls from your mouth.

Looking into his eyes, a subtle smirk contours your lips. “We’ll see,” you say as Simon shakes his head.

He wouldn’t expect anything less.

“So,” you continue, “I’m just wondering if you thought about how I’m going to leave here, now that I look like this. Gonna need something so I don’t have to cross base.” 

Across the way he spots a random jacket hanging off the back of a chair, left by one of the privates no doubt. Looks big enough and he returns with it in hand. Carefully he circles the sleeves around your body and ties them in front to cover you until you can get back to your room and change. Don’t need anyone seeing anything they shouldn’t.

“I did really like these by the way,” you pick as Simon pulls you by the knot in the sleeves wrapped around your waist back into him to catch your lips one last time with his.  

“Don’t ya worry, sweetheart, I’m gonna be gettin’ you a new pair, ones that I chose,” he says. “Cause I’m gonna be the only one that gets to enjoy this fuckin’ view from now on. And it’s a view you’re gonna give me ‘gain and again, darlin’.”

[margecouture]

releasing limiting beliefs 📜

releasing limiting beliefs is incredibly empowering and important for mental clarity and wellbeing. getting rid of limiting beliefs also create more positive opportunities to attract success and become a better version of yourself. here are some steps to releasing limited beliefs:

identify your beliefs. it’s good to start by recognizing the beliefs that limit you. the first step is to finding the cause for that belief and being mindful. is this belief tied to a past experience? has this belief been told to me by someone else therefore changing my perception? what evidence do i have that truly supports this belief? remember, past circumstances and the events of other peoples lives do NOT define you or who you are. each situation has happened to strengthen you and help you grow. you are good enough and you will succeed. pick up the mindset that each day is a new day to start fresh, that’s why we are given new mornings and fresh starts.

challenge any negative beliefs and replace them with positive ones. instead of thinking thoughts like “i am not capable, how would i possibly be able to do this?”, transform those thoughts into “i am capable of achieving great things because i am me.” so many people in today’s society don’t realize that being yourself is just enough. that’s the reason why no two people are the same, we are all meant to bring our own individuality to the table. it’s helpful to drown those negative beliefs with positive ones by using affirmations as well. regularly repeating positive affirmations can and will reprogram a new set of beliefs.

visualize success. visualize! visualize! visualize! imagine yourself succeeding and living in your accomplishments daily. this helps to keep you motivated and help reinforce positive beliefs towards yourself and others. visualization gives you confidence and make you eager to conquer whatever is in your way to get to where you desire to be.

take action. begin to act as if your new beliefs are true. you are accomplishing every goal. you are radiant. you are healthy. the more you practice and act like your new self, the sooner it’ll become reality. surround yourself with positivity while on the journey, such as having a positive social media, reading new books, creating a vision board, and having healthy relationships. these are all positive influences in the right direction which can reinforce your new beliefs effectively.

daily gratitude practices. regularly practicing being thankful can shift your focus from limitations to abundance. this shift in mindset can help weaken limiting beliefs and reinforce positive ones by creating an abundant outlook on life. be thankful for things like your ability to wake up each day, your willingness to become a better person, or the cup of coffee you drank this morning. this opens your mind to finding more opportunities to be grateful.

take risks and embrace failures. stepping outside of your comfort zone and taking risks help you to realize that failures are a natural part of growth. taking risks may look like having that hard conversation you’ve been putting off, posting that content, praying instead of complaining in hard times, or even small risks like choosing to eat a salad instead of that greasy burger you may really want. these are all steps you can take that’ll produce a positive result. also, failures build character and help you to gain experience. if you fail, at least you know what to do right the next time.

remember, releasing limited beliefs is a journey that takes time and dedication. it’s like unclogging a drain— it frees up your mind to achieve its full potential. be patient and intentional with yourself and celebrate any progress you make along the way. cheers to a healthy mindset and better thoughts! ✉️

[essycogany]

Why Shadow And Cream SHOULD Be A Duo

These are mostly Headcanons. They rarely interact, so I’m here to cover all of the things.

My first reason is they'd have the BEST DYNAMIC. Shadow is the mentor and Cream is his student. I know some people like the idea of him influencing her to be more violent, (which can be fun) but I prefer the idea of Cream solving problems in her own way whenever she's on a mission with Shadow. All of the crazy atrocities happening around her doesn't faze her in the slightest. She can be a tough cookie, but still soft on the inside and out. She doesn’t have to change her sweet spirit to be powerful in her own right.

Second reason. They would complement each other in the best way. Shadow could use someone to protect and I know Amy’s a good option, but there’s something about Cream that works better in my opinion. She’s younger, less experienced, brave, encouraging, kind, and ADORABLE. No, she isn’t and shouldn’t be a Maria replacement. I don’t want any character to have a good dynamic with Shadow just because said character reminds him of Maria. BUT Cream does have similar traits to her. More than Amy to an extent. The pink hedgehog is much more aggressive. Shadow would have a unique dynamic with Cream. Why? Because Cream is a literal child he needs to protect her at all costs. But she’s too stubborn to care about her safety. The older Cream gets, the more determined she is to go on adventures with him.

Because she’s so persistent, Shadow would feel obligated to teach Cream Chaos Emerald abilities. She would do terribly at first, but once she finally concentrates and takes her training seriously, she’d ace it.

The third reason I believe they’d be a great duo is because Cream would do her best to help him emotionally. But that’s not all. Shadow would notice how hard she’s trying and how much she struggles with failure. I’d imagine her taking it very badly due to a few issues in IDW and Sonic Dream team. Don’t get me started on the Metal Virus. She had to be the emotional support for Whisper (and the sweetheart did an amazing job) while she still struggled internally. Cream was the truest MVP during the Metal Virus.

But yeah! She’d definitely need someone with more experience with loss to help her with her self-esteem issues. Cream has so little confidence in herself when she shouldn’t. I know she has Sonic, Blaze, Amy, her mother, and many others but I believe Shadow would be the one to turn that emotion into action. He’s been through plenty. He wouldn’t just cheer her up (though he’d probably still try) but give her direct action base proof that she’s wrong with her training. She might not only need to be told she’s cable but also be physically shown.

I’d like to think she’d be able to pull as much weight for Shadow as he’d do for her. The tough love and support system. Like Sonic and Tails but with a Good Cop Bad Cop dynamic.

Cream still has Gemeral/Cheese and of course, they’ve already protected her the best way, but I’d like to think Shadow would be the one to teach her how to physically fight so she’d be able to help Gemeral. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about her too much. It’ll be like a training session. It helps that she’s already physically strong but Shadow would only help her enhance it.

She’d be an honorary member of Team Dark and would sneak into their missions. I’m not sure how Vanilla would feel about it but maybe this would be a situation where she’d find out when Cream’s older. Like a superhero reveal or something. Maybe Vanilla would have a long conversation with Shadow and Cream would stand up for him and take all of the blame. She’s loyal to a fault.

Their friendship also just sounds adorable to me. I can imagine Cream being surprisingly mature and intelligent and Shadow is always shocked. They'd talk about the different planets and stars together, daydreaming about a more peaceful world. Then instantly start kicking butt with Rouge and Omega and take down a giant monster and work with GUN. I think Rouge would question Shadow every time Cream came with them.

Rouge: Ugh! Shadow, why did you bring her here?! AGAIN?!

Shadow: I didn't. She came on her own.

Rouge: And you ALLOWED HER?!

Shadow: You can't say “no” to Cream. I've learned that the hard way.

It’s either letting Cream go with him or dealing with her whining for the rest of their picnic. Shadow isn't patient enough for that.

What kind of fun names would you guys give these two? Good Cop Bad Cop? Emerald Besties? Rebel Do-Gooders? Let’s give them a name!

That’s all the ideas I have for now. If you guys have any, I’d love to read them. My ask box is always open!

Stay Creative! 💜

[zzencat]

How To Energetically Get The Most Out Of Your School/Work Life - ⏳

Since we’re getting into the groove of things…let’s gaur!!!! For entertainment purposes.

From left to right. Breathe and choose the one(s) you can't keep your eyes off of.

TO ENHANCE ACCURACY BEFORE CHOOSING: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.

Pile 1 | boomer mentality?

• change your ways. Bad habits, weak ways of thinking- sure, it’s uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. Success is uncomfortable (I’m pretty sure someone super famous said that once maybe someone should remind me- 🤔) . You’ll find that if you look at things from a new perspective, a new angle, it’ll be beneficial for you in the long run. Just like looking at stress in a good way- there are studies on it that show that if you look at stress in a more positive way and use it to your advantage, you could really stretch out your life and live longer than those who were pessimistic about it (lol fun fact for you)

if you let go of the old, your luck will change. embrace these new changes, beliefs, environments, and people.

don’t keep your time and resources to yourself. allow for self reflection and transformations to happen!

big focus: don’t let history repeat itself. it’s time for a change! let go and let in.

—————————

Pile 2 | feeling stuck or stagnant

• pile 2, you tend to overthink everything. You let your mind run its course. That ain’t good news. It prevents you from reaching new heights- prevents you from even starting on something, just because of fear or even roots of perfectionism. There’s a huge lack of motivation, confidence, and trust in yourself- so much that even when I was pulling your cards they were hesitant to come out. it feels like russian roulette but it’s firing on its own. some people here might tend to overreact/throw a tantrum as well or be immature in situations that need sensibility (in this case, ya gotta take this time to mature.)

• I feel this group has trouble with balance in general. Nothing wrong with that on occasion but if that’s your default setting and you’re stuck in your mind all day, wondering about this and that—just a crazy clash of thoughts and ideas—ruminating and running around in a vicious cycle full of mental bullshit then it’s gonna stop you. It’s gonna stop you from growth, from achieving things, from getting started, from living life normally. That’s the bare minimum, isn’t it? All we gotta do is breathe and when life makes it hard, the brain works harder. The mind is truly the most dangerous thing and you have to embrace it, marinate in it, and pick at it. find out where the balance is between intuition, logic, and emotion.

you might feel restricted and the need to break free, but what you also need is a breather to calm down and assess yourself before making decisions. rmr, deep breaths.

•Do your own research, form your own opinions, figure out who you are, how you operate, and what you want in life. That’s how you begin to build character. That’s how you can move forward, even if it’s little by little. (A more stable foundation comes outta that too.)

big focus: practice self control. when they say “lead with your head,” they really mean the control center of logic, intuition, and emotion…but who’s doing more of the controlling here, you or your mind?

——————————

Pile 3 | “how could I miss that?”

• What you need to focus on is slowing down. it’s easy to miss things when we’re busy or taking on a lot of responsibilities. give yourself some love and care—tend to those inner callings. It’s good for your mental health as well. Remember: mental becomes physical.

• put yourself first for once. Connect with yourself and loved ones- go on one of them self dates- Yessir those exist 😳

• pile 3, you are easily the most efficient and speedy group- cards were legit being shuffled like they were being handled like a pro- but you know the con of that? You miss all the moments you could’ve had with friends, lovers, family. Yourself. You get to miss all the details because things are going too fast pow pow pow one after the other until it piles up and then you end up beating yourself up for small and simple mistakes…calm down and adjust yourself. You will be okay.

• I’m telling you fam- TAKE BREAKS. Give yourself moments to relax and rejuvenate before you push yourself!! You put too much pressure on yourself as it is

• connect with your inner feminine energy when you have the time—you gotta MAKE that time for yourself

• don’t be so neglectful in your relationships btw! Romantic, platonic, familial, wtv- learn how to manage your time so that you can separate work and assignments with social relations. Keep that communication up!! This includes your inner and outer voice. Reflect and acknowledge how you feel.

big focus: be more open minded to making new connections! spend more time with others. you’ll find emotional happiness and fulfillment in it :)

————————————

Ending Teddy note:

Hello hollywood people 😎 it has been a long minute! thank you for taking the time to read through this—YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Always remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! I’ll cya fam ciao :)

[l3viat8an]

Asmo walking in on MC masturbating whatever will he do 🥴 -💖 

Nsfw!

Imo- Asmo’s going to have some fun ‘n play with you for as long as he can~

Asmo already knows exactly what you’re doing when he walked in. The lust rolling off you in waves feels sooo good already. His eyes slowly taking in your body, stopping between your legs and watching the way you quickly try to cover yourself and giggling, “Don’t stop now, sweetie~” I mean- he’s here to join you ofc!!- But first he wants to watch you cum on your own fingers. So just relax and go back to what you were doing.

It won’t matter what you do. No matter how much you whine ‘n beg for him to just fuck you because this is embarrassing, not even the adorable pout on your face can convince him. Asmo’s self control is honestly so impressive when he’s playing with you~

He grabs the chair from by your desk and puts it by the foot-end of your bed, making sure you can see him and he can see all of you~

Slipping his pants down just enough to pull his cock free, he sits there lazily pumping his hand up and down, rubbing his thumb over the tip and smearing his pre-cum, all slow teasing touches even on himself.

As your moans get louder Asmo smiles at you and says, “sweetheart~ I need to see you come first, before I can touch you. But I promise you, you’ll feel amazing~” the last word trails off in a soft moan as he watches your fingers work at your clit.

This is like a game for him, a simple one to see who can last longer and he knows it’ll be him. He knows you’re going to break down even more, turning into a whimpering mess. it’s obvious because you’re already making those adorable little noise for him. Soft gasps of his name, begging for him, for whatever he’ll give you and he hasn’t even touched you yet-

It’s all going straight to his cock, and yet he’s still confident he’s going to outlast you. After all it always feels even better when he gets to fuck you after a couple of orgasms, although, usually he would have helped you with those-

He thinks he’ll go slow this time, he wants to have you rutting against him with the same desperation you’re grinding against your own hand with….you just have to make yourself cum. Simple <3

[with-my-calamitous-love]

meet me in the afterglow ✧.

s. todoroki x reader. y/a shouto

more boyfriend thoughts, nsfw below the divider, f! reader for that portion. for his birthday 🫧

inspired by afterglow

shouto todoroki, who isn’t the greatest at feelings. who expresses himself largely through actions, rather than words. who is scared that if he opens his mouth he’ll blow things out of proportion and colour you blue. who has grown up always on survival mode, never really knowing when he’s safe, seeing the people who we’re supposed to love him hurt him. who at first, jails you for things you don’t do, thinking he has reason to attack, before realizing you’re one of the few people he can confide in. from there, he’s stuck to you like glue.

shouto todoroki, who doesn’t want to break what he loves so much. who is smart, able to read you and the looks on your face. who comes across as cold and unexpressive, a bit of an asshole. but who is actually very observant, and a great listener, tilting his head and urging you to go on. who doesn’t ask “how was your day?” but instead says “tell me about your day”, wanting to know every detail. who listens with a content smile, forgetting everything else in the world but you.

shouto todoroki, who isn’t really terrified of losing what you have. who constantly self-sabotages, sometimes without realizing it, because he’d rather be alone than be left behind. who has to face the truth that he’s the one burning you down, getting into his own head about his fears. who melts like ice when you finally confront him, calling him out for the idiot he is, knowing that deep down? he doesn’t wanna do this to you. who doesn’t want you to go.

shouto todoroki, who is a gentleman in a world of boys. who calls you beautiful, darling, love, or anything that graces your face with a rose coloured hue. who is the king of romantic dates, backhugs, and forehead kisses. who wants nothing more than to lift you up and never let you go, learning that this kind of love is worth the fight.

shouto todoroki, who some nights, needs you to tell him that it’ll be fine, that he’s still yours. who sometimes loses his mind, wondering if he is good enough, if he’ll ever fully escape his past. who looks at you and sees his future, and for the first time, sees something so much bigger than just him. he sees happiness, marriage, maybe even being a father himself, never repeating the same mistakes. who knows he’s broken your heart, and wonders how he can still be the one you want in the end, but chooses not to question it.

shouto todoroki, who never fully stops doubting, but lets you kiss away his anxieties. who loves you like the moon loves the sun- wondering if its okay, if its meant to be- and doing it anyway. who melts like ice when he sees you smile, kissing you like afterglow shining on his skin. who is the only name on your lips, your future, your forever. who promises to give you everything he is and so much more.

✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.* ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚ ✧.* ✧.*

shouto todoroki, who kisses you until your out of breath. who constantly asks “do you feel good, love?” or “you like it when i touch you here?” who will take you anywhere- in bed, on the couch, on counters, in the shower, his car. who couldn’t care less if you’re on your period, or if you haven’t shaved, or if you’re worried he won’t like what he sees. he loves you, every inch of you, and does good in proving that.

shouto todoroki, who loves going down on you. who gets you so wet just from kissing you, trailing his lips down your body, his hands slowly removing your clothes. whose eyes look up at you when he’s in between your legs, thighs hooked over his shoulders, asking for permission. who loves to eat you out with your panties on, smirking against your clit when you whine for him to take them off. who swirls his tongue around you, eating like he’s starved, making you cum the moment he tugs your underwear off, eating you out with no barrier.

shouto todoroki, who puts your pleasure first, always. who’ll makes sure you cum 2-3 times before he even thinks about releasing for himself. who turns your brain to mush, a slow, deep, gentle lover who knows where to kiss and where to thrust. who’ll lean down to whisper in your ear, asking “do you like this position, baby?” or “how do you want me to take you, love?” who almost laughs to himself when he sees you unable to form coherent sentences.

shouto todoroki, who’ll start slow, teasing you with the tip of his cock until he sees you tear up. who kisses those tears away, pushing himself inside, letting you fully adjust before moving. who whispers praises in your ear, feeling you clench around him every time he says something. “so good, love, making me feel like this. ah, cumming already? so cute.”

shouto todoroki, who specifically asks you where you want to cum. he has to resist the urge right there when you cry out, telling him to do it in you. whose bi-coloured eyes fill with a hint of concern, double checking with you, but nearly unable to resist the way you take him. drags it out for as long as he can, playing with your tits, biting your skin, slamming his cock into you with reckless abandon before finally spilling his seed deep into your pussy. who stays there, wrapping your leg around his waist. “don’t waste a single drop, love.”

shouto todoroki, who stays there for a few more moments before sliding out with a kiss to your forehead. who is the best at aftercare, icing any sore spots, keeping you warm next to him. who is blissfully satisfied in the afterglow of sex, able to let his guard down, able to simply love you. <3