#concerned batfam

[glitter-stained]

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

[corkinavoid]

DPxDC "Pick Me Up"

The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.

Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.

Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.

That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:

"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."

Joker sputters.

"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"

The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.

"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."

Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.

"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.

"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."

"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.

But none of them get to finish.

"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.

The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.

And that's not a guy.

The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.

Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.

Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, and?"

"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.

"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.

"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:

"I remember!"

Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"

The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."

Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.

"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.

"I hate you."

"Thanks," Danny grins.

[cardinalcheerio]

Tim: Hey dick?

Dick: yeah?

Tim: Sooo... if someone were to hypothetically steal a sculpture called "The Hand". Would they call the heist, "The Hand Job"?

Dick *grinning and searching sculptures*: be a worse crime not to name it that

[qweenofurheart]

the tim drake experience

[breesperez139]

So we know that both Jason and Danny have to be good or at the very least decent enough actors to get the lead roles right?

Just imagine the Wayne family’s reaction to Jason’s acting and almost having a heart attack every time he’s in his psychotic JD behavior. At first it’s all like “wtf is Jay doing onstage??” and “oh i am so blackmailing him for this” and they do but the whirlpool of emotions Jason puts them through is almost not worth it. But they’re Wayne’s so they just blackmail him even harder for it.

When Jason is singing Freeze Your Brain, he doesn’t really get into the song until the chorus. He gets even more passionate the moment Danny steps on stage which makes the show all the more mesmerizing. Batfam thinks this is Jason’s cry for help. Jay is just excited to sing with Danny. Like yah the lyrics are kind of relatable but Danny is right there and looks oh so very attractive in that skirt.

Danny and Jason were both nervous about Dead Girl Walking. Which is normal considering they don’t know each other. But then they start doing rehearsals and Danny looks at Jason like no one else matters and it quickly became Jason’s favorite song.

Logically the Wayne‘s know the gun Jason pulls out during Our Love Is God is fake but holy fuck the mini panic attack they had when they saw the gun is absolute gold. Not that anyone noticed but we know and that’s what matters.

At this point the Wayne’s start forgetting this is a show and truly believe Jason and Danny are in love during Seventeen. Who knows how long they’ve been rehearsing for this show. It’s not impossible to think Jason started and hid a relationship from them.

Duke and Barbara themselves never bothered looking into the cast or how they interacted with Jason. They just made sure he wasn’t caught so everything would go as planned. And while Duke and Danny are friends, Danny can keep a secret when he wants to, Duke knows this better than anyone.

Meant To Be Yours, Dead Girl Walking (Reprise), and I Am Damaged thoroughly convince the Gothamites attending the show that Jason and Danny will become the next rogue couple to debut. Jason and Danny are putting so much emotion into this show people are starting to believe they aren’t acting anymore.

The Wayne’s honest to god think Jason’s being influenced by the pit during these songs. Jason acting like JD gave everyone anxiety. They kept tensing and relaxing the entire show but these three songs were on another level. They wanted him to find a hobby (and they love that he found one) but why did he have to choose this musical.

That being said, Danny really shouldn’t be attracted to Jason while he’s singing about their toxic love and killing an entire high school population. Or while he’s counting down and banging on the door. Especially not while he’s counting down and banging on the door. He’s just glad he blushes in green making it look like he wants to puke instead of get railed against the door.

The show ends and the Wayne’s don’t know what to do. It’s all awkward and shit until Jason sees them and freezes up making the tension worse. Danny (who simply chooses to ignore the tension) starts laughing that’s quickly followed by Duke’s and Barbara’s. Jason looks at Danny in betrayal making Danny laugh even harder. The Wayne siblings (plus Steph) immediately start teasing Jason about his performance.

They still think Jason should see a therapist asap but they already knew that, that’s old news. Jason being a theater kid and performing the one character who shares his name, happens to prefer guns as his main weapon, and then dies in an explosion, is not.

Jason doesn’t know why he did it.

Maybe it was because of the alcohol in his system or maybe it was his subconscious still being salty about his family’s comments about him not having many hobbies.

He reads!

What’s wrong with reading!?

Sure, it was mainly about work now a days but that’s besides the point!

Apparently it wasn’t good enough to be counted as a ‘hobby’ by the others.

So when he was walking back from a bar on his night off and got hit in the face with flyer about auditions for the local theater group Mixed up Manhattan he stuffed it in his pocket and said “fuck it”.

Needless to say he was mildly confused when he woke up the next day to a call back for JD from Heathers the musical.

He was more confused when he found out his “Veronica” was being played by a dude.

Turns out Mixed up Manhattan was a group who did not care about gender as long as you could bring a character to life.

Now he was in too deep to back out, if he was going to act out a scene with someone. Than he was going to put his whole dick and balls into it.

It was only fair for “Veronica” after all.

~~~~~

Danny was slightly surprised when he went back to callbacks and saw Drunk Dude in the group.

Danny found him silly and charming in the waiting room the other night but he was clearly intoxicated when he auditioned. Danny thought that the chances of seeing him again was very slim.

But there he was, looking a little bit out of his comfort zone.

Did he even remember auditioning?

As they were called up for a scene he flashed the other a smile and felt his core loosen with the other guy’s shoulders.

Turns out, Jason had some good singing chops.

~~~~~~~~

Jason Todd lands a lead in a musical.

The musical about death and sex.

His family must never know.

The second one of them finds out his life is over again.

They will go out of there way to embarrass Jason in front of Danny and there will go the whole dark and mysterious thing he has been trying to do.

[emacrow]

Alfred's day off came as he went for a visit that cause suspicious in the batfam.

Alfred was looking rather energetic and enthusiastic as he was fixing himself up in the mirror, cleaning any lint and dust on his casual clothes.

The batfam has been noticing he is getting more excited that he even made everyone's favorite lunch in record time as today was one of alfred rarest day off.

Tim on the other hand is thinking that alfred might be dating someone, because he saw alfred bring light blue letters that had a soft jasmine smell.

Bruce believes Tim finally lost his marble because when does alfred had the time to date around.?

Until Dick mentioned that even old people get lonely and tend to matchmake in the form of letters like the good old days..

Which right now the batfam and Bruce leading them are currently spying on Alfred far enough where they think he wouldn't noticed them stalk- observating him.

Alfred was picking up a couple of presents, one that had plants, another had old Techno theme, one with birds, a fire theme one and a space theme present that he loaded his car with along with a stuffie bear.

Steph thinks that he could be visiting relatives at that point..?

While Bruce was remaining quiet with a calculating glint in his eyes.

They follow alfred all the ways to the one of the barely remaining clean parks, where a another young man sat with a orange hair little girl in a light greenish blue dress, a sleeping baby girl in a bassinet on a picnic blanket with a purple clock theme pattern, as he watches 4 toddlers playing and squealing around a oddly colored puppy.

Two toddlers look like a bait-adoptable bait even if both has stripes of white in their hair and one had red eyes, one toddler had blonde hair with the tips being black with purple eyes and a lightest greenish skin tone, and the remaining toddler was Egyptian African American looking with how he playing with a odd toy phone that look Egyptian theme before being dragged along to play by the green dog snatching his toy phone.

Alfred brought the presents along sitting down with the now seemingly much older man..

Jason seemed to noticed that nobody else is noticing that that guy holding the clock like staff is literally shifting from young, to adolescent, to young adult, and elderly man beside himself when he voiced his concerns.

They weren't close enough to hear what the two were saying, but the little girl with the orange hair was speaking mostly before looking up with tearful green teal eyes at alfred who went to comfort the girl.

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny holds an Intervention for Brucie Wayne.

So! Danny is the head of R&D at WayneTech, and he often works closely with Bruce and Lucius when they want him to make "Proof of Concept" Gadgets and Vehicles. He doesn't question the absurdity of some of the stuff he builds, he was raised by Mad Scientists after all, all of it seems perfectly normal to him!

But he has noticed something concerning about his Boss.

He really needs to get his Partying in control. Every time he comes into work he has eyebags covered by makeup, some bruises from tripping while drunk, and he is always super cagey about what he did last night. Danny asked some of his coworkers about it, and they noticed it too.

They also bring up that he sometimes comes into work with a really foggy mind, which is probably the aftereffects of doing some kind of drugs at whatever party he was at the previous night.

Even his Hangovers seem really bad! Worse than usual, but he powers through them and keeps acting like his normal Himbo self! Danny realizes that Bruce needs to calm down. He has Kids to take care of, and Alfred needs less work on his plate

So he contacts a bunch if Bruce's Friends, his Family, and even a few coworkers who brought up their concerns to him, and he stages an Intervention.

...

Bruce didn't know what to expect when he walked into the conference room at Wayne Enterprises. He had been called in by Danny, his head of R&D, for a Meeting earlier that day, but Danny had failed to explain the purpose of the Meeting.

He had barely made it on time. He had spent the entire night chasing down Scarecrow, and a slip up had caused him to get hit by some Fear Toxin, which took forever to work its way out of his system. It didn't help that the Antidote gave him a splitting headache.

Bruce opened the door to the Conference Room, and was met with a mishmash of faces. Clark was sitting close to the head of the Table, with Lois at his right, and Diana to hers. In the crowed he could also see Dick and Steph holding in barely contained laughter, with Tim looking a little lost to the side. Damian looked as if he would rather be anywhere else, Duke was looking as list as Tim, and Cass was just smirking at him with a look of amusement.

He could also see the faces of various employees of Wayne Enterprises, among them being Lucius and Tam.

What was going on?

The door closed behind him, and he turned to see Danny standing behind him.

"Bruce, this is an Intervention."

[emotional-piece-of-meat]

Tim is surprised every time Bruce being a dad. Not even a good one, which he is, but genuinely just a dad.

Like, what do you mean, he asks how was your day and carefully listened to your answer instead of interrupt you on the second sentence and talk about himself?

What do you mean, he cares about you every day and not only when he wants to look like a good dad™ at gala?

What do you mean, he tries to understand your interests instead of saying that it's useless and you have to quit?

What do you mean, he carries you to bed instead of waking you up?

What do you mean, he actually remembers things that you told him?

What do you mean, he stays with you, because you are scared and you asked him to?

What do you mean, you don't need to ask?

And for the first time in his life, Tim thinks that it wasn't his fault. He wasn't a bad child. His father was a bad person.

[ditzybat]

tim: just realized i could’ve been your step grandpa

damian: not what my grandfather meant by saying he wants your dna by the way

tim: whatever, i’m keeping the mildly poisoned courting gifts anyway, free chocolate is free chocolate even if it’s doused in cyanide

[that-weird-thing-in-the-woods]

Sup it was my turn with the brain cell again so

🥀🩸Misunderstanding vampire Danny🩸🥀

Ok so here’s my thoughts GIW fucked up and Danny and Vlad can’t stay ( also Ellie and Dan needed to be in an incubator who’s names is Danny, yes I know this misunderstanding in dc X dp is overused but I DON’T CARE) and end up into Dc world but more  specifically Gotham and Vlad still doing all his shady business stuff and with Danny dealing with pregnancy hormones and got protective over Ellie and Dan (and with Vlad getting overprotective over all of them) and Vlad moves than all into the manor next to you’ll never guess what Wyane manor! And in classic Batfam fashion they misunderstanding things

Now to the vampire misunderstanding! So i haven’t mentioned that in the DC world the green of DP world looks red so it looks like it’s blood so ✨VAMPIRE✨ and with Vlad being his vampire looking ass it’s not really surprising for them to think his a vampire and for Danny it looks like Vlad turn Danny into a vampire and is got pregnant it looks really bad for Vlad LOL

And Now for what Danny looks like, So the thing that happened makes more of Danny ghost side show more so he still has black hair but does have white hair like this

And of course he got to have the dead anime mom hair style

And this is what I’m thinking he’s wearing

(And yes he’s in a nightgown because he’s a bad bitch and because I said so) and with that and his other “symptoms” ( Needing to drink ecto that looks like blood, not really leaving the manor because of Vlad being protective)

they think Vlad turn Danny in a vampire or well a halfling for now ( well there right about the half part just wrong species) and that’s all for now go eat the rich my sisters, brothers and siblings of the Fea!



[everwalldigan]

(Bruce and Jason meeting for the first time after he came back from being presumed dead (lost in the time stream))

Jason: really? Copying my flow and coming back from the dead? Be original. *voice wobbling* you should have stayed dead, we were wayyyyy better off, it was quiet for once *bursts into tears and runs away*

[noxcheshire]

Yandere! Damian x Danny

.

.

.

The Al Ghul’s did not believe in love.

In strength, intelligence, in power — always.

But love is a word, a title to use, to manipulate and create whatever they wished from another.

This is a fact: the Al Ghul’s did not believe in love, nor did they feel it.

But Damian thinks that perhaps this is close to it. This funny little feeling in his chest that burns and aches in a way that leaves him breathless. That funny little feeling in his bones that itches to hold Daniel close until he is rooted into his shape and scent. That funny little feeling in his throat that wanted to bite Daniel until only the scars of his teeth remained and Daniel’s blood spilled and stained with life turned cold.

Damian knows this is love, because what else is this need to possess and hold, and tear every other inch of Daniel apart from this world and make him his own?

[nicomoon69]

Bernard watching Tim destroy his fourth plate of crab legs on their second seafood restaurant date that week: so how are you doing financially?

Tim who has been hiding their dinner dates in the batarang budget: amazing

[kitkats-and-kittens]

Can we have some more bilingual Damian Wayne moments please?

They did it a little in older comics with him speaking in his own language as well as Cantonese in one comic panel I can remember. Besides those two and English I don’t know what other languages he speaks, but at minimum it’s three, though I feel like the league would’ve probably trained him in more.

Still I haven’t seen it as often and it makes me sad, because as a bilingual person with many bilingual friends the fuck ups are usually hilarious.

Like with Damian especially I feel like he would overcorrect cause the English language has so many exceptions to it’s very loosely defined gramma rules and he’s such a perfectionist that he would stick to that shit even after finding out it’s wrong, I also think it would drive him a little bit insane cause it’s technically right, but it also isn’t (not speaking from experience at all).

Also while we’re at it let’s just throw the rest of the Batfam in there cause I’m pretty sure they all speak at least one other language. I want a comic panel like the scene in Umbrella Academy where Diego and Ben start arguing in Spanish and Korean respectively except it’s eight kids all screaming (or signing) at each other in several languages some of which aren’t even human.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 74

When a new black-haired blue-eyed person appeared in the manor, one could easily be forgiven for thinking that Bruce’s adoption problem had struck again. So color many a batkid surprised that no, this kid isn’t a new sibling, no he didn’t get grabbed from the street, and actually he’s here for Alfred. Apparently Alfred never found it important to mentioned that he has a husband- that the kid kind of implies isn’t human what with the casual way he says he himself is half human- and that this kid is apparently their child. For once it’s Bruce’s turn to come home to a surprise sibling. 

Danny on the other hand just learned that his Clockpa has a semi-mortal partner who has offered to take him in, (in another dimension even! And there’s aliens!!) while the ancient takes care of some stuff at home. And yeah it’s in a rich-manor but Sam has proved that not all rich people are evil, and based off of Mr Pennyworth’s stories the Waynes weren’t bad either. Though based off of the others’ reactions perhaps he should wait to mention that there wasn’t one new family member but three…

[concerned-k1wi]

Gotham rogues when ppl are taking the Gotham Census:

“Average Gothamite gets kidnapped at least 3-4 times in their life" factoid actually just statistical error. We only kidnap the average Gothamie 1-2 in their life :)

Robin (aka The Boy Hostage), who gets kidnapped every other night and treats it like a hobby, is an outlier and should not have been counted