natelm2nd

[natelm2nd]

For people who treat their pets like kids, you'd think more would be like "Neptune Wigglesworth Mathewson, birthday 7 1 5 13" when getting to the counter. (Wigglesworth is Neptune's unofficial middle name.)

Here's to every pet-related worker who has to deal with "Her name is BELLA you've seen her before just look her up." You're a real one. May you grow in power for every Bella in your system.

[natelm2nd]

turns out MurderBot is PirateBot.

I cannot imagine 1) That the Corporation Rim would produce free entertainment 2) That Murderbot paid for any of its serials. The entertainment feed is HuMaxFlix Plus with 500 different micro subscription options, and Murderbot has been the universe's most prolific TV pirate this whole time.

[natelm2nd]

i see "men bad" jokes as very similar to suicide jokes. like making them every once in a while isn't the worst thing, but if you Keep making them constantly. it DOES shape how you start thinking and you WILL become a more unpleasant and bitter person and also make people around you uncomfortable. and sometimes you just gotta choose to not make or engage with certain jokes, even if they are amusing to you, because its just not who you wanna be

[natelm2nd]

A guinea pig in snow near some candles. First image text reads "Silent Pig, holy pig" and then someone edited the photo to read "loud pig, loud fucking pig" and put the sound guindea pigs make all over the image. Just, unending "wheek" sounds!

[natelm2nd]

white boy SHOCKS toronto locals by summoning DEMON in PERFECT BABYLONIAN

[natelm2nd]

"Why was I born with this tiny noggin and short legs?!" - a little doggy looking up at a super huge world.

It fucks with me that dog intelligence is tested with obedience tests, so there's a significant bias towards compliant dog breeds. Dogs that are intelligent enough to understand what is being asked of them, but are too headstrong and/or independent to go through with it, get lumped up with the dogs that might want to do what people ask them to do, but are too stupid to understand the assignment.

And it fucks with me that chihuahuas are actually quite intelligent. They're not stressed and angry because they're too stupid to understand what's going on. They understand exactly what's going on, and that's why they're so angry and stressed.

[natelm2nd]

Standing in a checkout line, when an older man asks me about my Goncharov t-shirt. I say "It's a movie, " when the person behind me chimes in, "Oh, yes, Scorsese."

The original gentleman goes on to tell me about the author Goncharov, his favorite of his novels, and a famous character from one of the novels. The three of us discuss whether the main character in the movie is intentionally named after the author, referencing that character, or whether it just sounded good to the film maker. We discuss how steeped the movie is in symbology.

Two of us are having a very different conversation than the third.

[natelm2nd]

"but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all" is so wild because you literally just asserted that I'm already familiar with the other reindeer. if this one is supposedly more famous than them why would it be assumed that I already know the other less famous ones but it's under question if I know this most famous one. what are you talking about

[natelm2nd]

i love when you just click the share link on a picture on your phone and you get a bunch of batshit insane options. yeah let me email this selfie to the periodontist office. let me send this to my boss on teams. perfect suggestions.

[natelm2nd]

how much does the aurora borealis weigh

[natelm2nd]

I love blocking people I've never interacted with based off their replies on some random popular post. Wow random user on a post with 50k notes with the worst take ever, I hope I never meet you and will make sure we never do

[natelm2nd]

You can tell when someone’s frame of reference for “normal people” is more “people at the church sponsored ice cream social” and less “people on the bus”

[natelm2nd]

Pastuerizing milk is a good thing actually

[natelm2nd]

its christmas eve and look whos on tumblr

all of us

[natelm2nd]

also SKIBIDI TOILET IS LITERALLY THANKS TO THE SOURCE ENGINE AND G MOD FROM 20 YEARS AGO! If anything I'm surprised a TF2 character hasn't shown up yet. Would Heavy be some sort of giant metal toilet? Is Medic a Bidet?

"skibidi toilet is ruining gen alpha" do none of you people remember asdf. i remember asdf.

[natelm2nd]

"this sounds like an asdf movie bit" ... Ah, I see Tom has found it.

wanted to share my favorite reddit post ever

[natelm2nd]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but it's time to take your 12 partridges, 22 turtle doves, 30 french hens, 36 calling birds, 42 geese a-laying, and 42 swans a-swimming out of the freezer.