#the goons love jason

[glitter-stained]

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

[violent138]

While I'm sure bad guys in Gotham have learned over time that the Bats don't kill, that even after bashing your teeth in they'll flag down an ambulance or dump you unceremoniously at the ER, it's still a shaky trust.

One that is easily shaken seeing a child wielding a sword in the dead of night; nobody wants to learn how that is handled nonlethally. Or bad guys just surrendering one late night after running into an alley and Nightwing's standing over their unconscious buddy, holding the gun he wrestled away. They watch Red Hood break into the place they're robbing with a crowbar in hand and just decide they'd rather not chance it. They see a shadow that could be Black Bat and-- you get it.

[nelkcats]

Quacked up

Danny never thought that Desiree was serious on her threats, or at least the threats that had to do with "turning him into a duck and abandoning him in another dimension."

But it seems that even ghost genies had their limits, because the third time he "ruined her plans," she made good on her threat. Danny wasn't worried about Amity, Team Phantom could take care of that just fine.

He was more concerned about his webbed feet and duckbill. Plus the fact that he showed up in the middle of a warehouse occupied by mobsters, although the supposed mobsters were more involved in trying to catch him (were his ears wrong or had he heard an "aww"?) than killing him. One of them even named him "Duck Hood."

Jason didn't know how to feel watching all his employees chase a duck. It was a weird duck, with glowing green eyes (was it possible for a duck to dive into the pits??), and he was sure he saw it float by at some point, but at least his "lair" was a little more lively.

He wondered if he should give it to Damian or keep it.

[doabackflipsolitaire]

Jason and the annoying kids he didn't want (and that he's only like 4 years older than)

[betterthanbatman1]

Brrrr

[deadjaywalking]

I will die on the hill that Jason met Damian in the league

No I will not take questions this is just a fact

[loservillepopulationthirteen]

It continues to get worse

Goon#2: I’m so sorry boss! I didn’t know they were a teenager when I sold to them!

Red hood, sighing: atp im not even angry anymore

Goon#3:thank goodness!

Red Hood: I’m just dissapointed. I thought after all these years…

Goon#2: OH GOD THATS WORSE BOSS! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT!

Red Hood: Do better

The goons: Yes, sir!

*after Red Hood leaves*

Goon#1: the dad levels are so strong!!!!

-

Some child: *in danger and scared*

Jason, seeing his child self in the kid (canon btw): hey, hey it’s okay *acts like what his kid self needed because the levels of projection and need for therapy are so strong on this one*

Goon#5: his dad insticts… they’re kicking in…

-

Red hood, walking in to see his ‘organization’ messed up: What are you doing?!?

Goon#3, whose desperatly trying to fix it: uhhhh

Goon#5: Goon 3 tripped over your copy of pride and prejudice while carrying stuff

Goon#3: I’ll kill you

Goon#5: :P

Red Hood: *distraughtly trying to find his book*

Goon#1: Heres your book boss! Saved it while everyone was panicking

Jason, who was borrowing it from Alfred because they do book swaps: your my favorite goon now

Goon#1: *victory dance as all the other goons glare*

-

Batman: I am-

Red Hood: not supposed to be in crime alley

Batman, giving big kicked puppy (???) vibes: the kids want to see you at dinner :( Agent A requested it

Red Hood: the ‘kids’ ruined my case

Batman: Agent A made cookies

Red Hood: …

Red hood: yeah okay i’ll wrap up and go home

Vengence in the night, the scourage of the villain, Batman: *pleased vibes*

Goon#6, already texting the gc: Red Hood dadded the BATMAN!!

Goon#2, replying: Can’t believe Red Hood was so mad he almost missed Dinner with his Kids…

Oracle, who can hack gcs and thinks this is hysterical: im about to do something really funny *discreetly sends more evidence of Red Hood being ‘Batman’s Dad’*

-

*Red Hood, about to order something when the tiniest Robin bursts into the warehouse during the middle of the day*

Red Hood, frantic: what are you doing here?!? It’s a school day!!! (Jason loves school)

Robin: tch… it was dumb anyways… just some dumb kids… they don’t even know how to fight

Red Hood: Do you want me to text B or cover for you?

Robin: … I do not want to go back right now

Red Hood: okay, okay… why don’t we go back to my apartment and drink some vegan hot chocolate

Robin: i’d like that

(Jason, in his head: man im a great big brother- i remember when dick would take me out during school hours)

Goon#4: Oh my god, how many kids does this guy have?!?

Goon#5: who even gave birth to that many?!?

Goon#3: maybe theyre adopted?

Goon#4: no thats stupid they all have the same black hair and blue eyed features

Goon#5: …

Goon#3: you can’t think like that about our boss!

Goon#5: I didn’t say anything

Goon#3: I could hear your thoughts

Goon#4: I thought metas werent allowed in gotham?

Goon#3: no thats just a rumor- wait i meant metaphorically

Goon#5: …

Goon#4: …

Goon#3: can’t believe all of you misunderstood my one sentence I bet boss never went through people horribly misconstruing him!

-

Red hood: *visibly tired that morning*

Goon#4: Rough Night?

Red Hood: nah, just my uh… family broke into my apartment to watch movies last night because I ‘missed movie night’

Goon#5: *nods sagely* children amirite?

Red Hood: *snorts* they definitely act like children

-

*Black Bat kicks Red Hood in the face*

Red Hood, writhing in agony on the floor: ow owww what was that forrr

Goon#1, sympathetically patting his back: daughters, amirite?

Jason, thinking about Lady Shiva: I guess?

-

Goon#2: Boss!!!

Red Hood: ?

Goon#2: I… joined a knitting club some time back after you told me to quit being high and get a hobby… and uh…

Goon#2: *shoves a knit scarf that says ‘worlds okayest Boss’ but the B looks a bit messy like it was supposed to be a D but the B was hastily changed later from somethinng starting with D(ad) to Boss* okaythatsitbye *runs away*

Red Hood: what was that all about???

Red Hood, staring at the scarf and tearing up: I’m so glad I’m having a good effect on the community

The goon squad, from afar: *wiping tears as they watch Red Hood’s reaction*

-

Red Hood: *sighs* so I’m experimenting with different recipes to surprise my uhhh greatest inspiration (alfred)

The goons: *listening intently*

Red Hood: And I have extras.

Goon squad: *cheering*

Red Hood, embarrassed: shut up or I’m giving them all to the alley kids and not you!

Goon squad: *rush to grab it*

Goon#2: oooh i love the peppermint one! Very christmassy

Red Hood: *snorts at christmasussy like the immature 19 year old his is that no one pays heed to*

Goon#3: Is there coffee in this one?

Red Hood: just to bring out the chocolate flavor- one of the robi- uh younger ones is addicted to coffee and I’m not trying to give him an avenue

Goon#1: You’re so responsible boss!

Red Hood: *shocked and happy as this is the first time anyones ever called post mortem Jason responsible*

-

*finally at the reveal*

Red Hood: I have… something to show you *takes off his helmet*

goons: *open staring*

goon#5: wow you look… young for your age!

goon#4: drop the skin care routine

Jason, in his head: wow they must mean the six months I was in the ground for I didn’t realize it was that obvious!

Jason, out loud: Lazarus water

Goon#3, been hired for some weird stuff before: *gasps* no wonder old men are so obsessed with it!

Jason: *snorts*

Will Jason ever realize his goons think hes some kind of immortal old aged man with a great skin care routine (goon#5)/vampire (goon#2) /wereworlf (goon#3) / cryptid old man (goon#1) /gotham pollution gone well (goon#4 who got booed out)

find out next time in- what do you mean i dont get to make a show out of Red Hood goons?!?

Imagine in the beginning, before Red Hood's goons figure out that he is a baby, they think he is a single dad of a bunch of kids, instead. And it is not like they are wrong, since he does parent all kids of Crime Alley, but they mean not them. They mean Bats, instead.

No one is sure how old Red Hood is. But they saw a single white streak of the hair once, so he is... old, right? And these Batkids, they always hang around him, whining and asking for something - surely, it is his kids? Right? That gotta be it.

Red Hood: Now, back to- Sorry, I need to take a call. Goons: Sure, sir. Red Hood: What... Oh my god, Red. What do you mean, you don't know how to wash the carpet without- Spoiled brat. Okay, listen to me, you first need to get a really hot water... Goons: That's definitely his son being in troubles.

(It was Tim, who accidentally ruined Alfred's favourite carpet. He was in big troubles that day.)

Robin, appearing on the doorstep of Red Hood's den: Scram. I am here to see Hood. Goons, staring at little Damian: Hm-m. Red Hood, pushing them away: Bad day? (Damian wordlessly raising his arms to be picked up by Jason) Okay. It is fine. Goons: Hm-m-M.

Nightwing, whining: You are so boring. Why don't you want to play Twister with us this Sunday? Red Hood, rolling his eyes: Shut up. Goons, overhearing the conversation: Kids, am I right? Red Hood: Huh?

Goons, watching Batman and Red Hood shouting on each other on the rooftop: Hey, do we think Batman is also his kid?.. Goons: (thoughtful pause) Red Hood, completely pissed off by his dad in the meanwhile: I am TIRED of you. Go back to your stupid ass CAVE and think about your behaviour. I don't want to see you AGAIN. Batman: But- Red Hood: OUT OF MY TURF. NOW!!! Goons, staring at Batman, who walks away sulkily: ...HM-M.

Red Hood, staring at the "Best Dad" merch, given him by his goons on his birthday: I am confused. Do they mean kids from Alley, or they view themselves as my kids... What does it mean? Uh. Whatever. It is kinda sweet. Red Hood, on the next day: Thanks, guys. Very thoughtful of you! Goons, high-fiving each other: Sure, boss!

[foerchen]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Batman isn’t the only one fiercely protective of his Robins.

Jason’s death led to the Rogues turning against the Joker—especially Harley. By then, she had already realized the extent of his abuse and had left him. So when she learned that her favorite Robin—a tough Crime Alley kid—had been beaten to death by her ex the first time she wasn’t around, she went ballistic.

Once, a newcomer held Nightwing at gunpoint and tried to unmask him on live television. When Harvey Dent saw how close this was to his own hideout, he knew he couldn’t let it slide. He wasn’t blind or foolish—he knew exactly who Nightwing was. The first Robin. A ray of sunshine—badass yet kind. Harvey took only a second to recall how that same little Robin had once helped him through a dissociative episode, choosing to assist rather than arrest him. And that was enough. The newcomer was never seen again.

As much as Damian disliked how close Catwoman was to his father, Selina adored the little kitten. He was honest, fierce, and compassionate in his own way. She loved that he shared her fondness for cats and animals. So when the shelter Damian volunteered at was attacked by Black Mask’s goons, Selina made sure that by the end of the month, Roman wouldn’t have a single piece of art left in his collection.

Eddie could hardly deny that his favorite Robin was the third one. After all, that particular little bird not only respected him as the Riddler but could also solve all his riddles effortlessly. So when a few goons rudely barged into their monthly riddle session, Eddie was not amused. He made sure they knew it.

Consider this your warning: Do not harm the Robins. Unless, of course, you fancy some trouble with the Rogues.

[glitter-stained]

If I may offer a recommendation..

(It is not my fic—but it’s 100% a favorite. His goons adopt him so hard >:))

Hell yeah you guys are awesome!!! Goonion ftw

[cateyam]

Dick's cackle scares the shit out of everyone— and by everyone, I mean EVERYONE.

Imagine Jason, just minding his business and Dick is there too, on his phone, watching something when suddenly Dick starts cackling at something he saw. Jason got a whiplash as he turned to Dick, a horrified expression on his face. He is so damn close to dumping Dick in a pool of holy water.

Or Batman is fighting some goons with Robin!Dick and he starts cackling as he takes down goons. Bruce had to stop himself from flinching at the sound of his ward's cackling.

Dick also have managed to scare Tim, Steph and Duke— even Cass and Damian. He practically scared everyone at this point, including his own friends who have heard his cackle for years now.

And when whatever Rogue hears the iconic Robin/Nightwing cackle, they're definitely running away because no way are they going to be fighting the creepiest Robin.

Edited: also yes, this is inspired by YJ Dick because I love him.

[cassual-rat-enjoyer]

“Hey ur working for black mask? Jeez I hope your contract isnt too long, I hear their death rates are crazy. Who do i work for? Red hood😎. Ikr? Even my kids get special protection for walking to school, its great”

Jason Todd with his goons:

[prlssprfctn]

Another Crack!Au with Red Hood's goons because I love them this much: Jason Peter Todd comes back alive legally for the rest of the world, and now Red Hood Inc. is sure that their boss is crushing on that boy. Proofs? P l e n t y.

Proof number one: their boss *giggles* when TV shows some of Jason's funny jokes from his new interviews. Well, his giggle surely sounds ominous behind the voice modulator, but it is clearly a girlish giggle.

Red Hood, hitting the table in the fit of laughter: Gosh, this one was absolutely hilarious. Like, the subtle shadowing and literature reference? Good one, good one... I should joke like this more.

Goons, staring in awe: Yeah, boss, he is so funny. You think so, too, right?

Red Hood, amused: You like him? Good fucking choice, good fucking choice.

Proof number two: Red Hood starts hating Joker even more once the publicity finds out that Jason Todd was considered dead because he was under the witness protection system due to seeing Joker killing the Second Robin.

Red Hood, murmuring: This is fucking ridicilous. Witness protection system, my ass. I mean—

Goons, exicted: Boss, this is just another proof that Joker shall be dead!

Goons, thinking that killing Joker could definitely impress Jason, so he would go out with their boss: I am sure that kid will like this clown dead more!

Red Hood, who just thinks that they are empathetic and worried like that: You think so too? Good work, guys. Really. I appreciate you.

Proof number three aka. the most convincing one: Red Hood doesn't even try to beat these allegations. Case in point:

Goons: Bossman, we have a game for you. Hug, marry, kill — but it is the oldest male members of the Wayne family. Bruce Wayne, Richard Grayson-Wayne, and Jason Todd-Wayne.

Red Hood, with his face turning into disgust, because what a one can choose there in HIS case: Uh, kill Bruce. I guess, hug Dick boy. Uh, marry Jason?

Goons: YES!!!

Red Hood, confused: Are you fans or something—

[fanaticalthings]

While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

---

Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

---

Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

---

And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

[laiosynth]

imagine jason sets up a meeting with this new driver, wanting to hire him.

to set the scene: jason could only set up this meeting by talking to the short librarian who works at the front desk at Gotham Public Library, who had to direct him to the archivist in the deepest basement level of the library, who then told jason he needed a 'time and place', and 'he'll be there'.

jason's not sure if that was even true- this guy is so fucking elusive, though, that it took jason 2 weeks to find just that librarian at the front desk.

so here he is, praying this guy shows up to the address he'd given, if only so he at least gets intel on the guy.

when he hears the door open, it scares the shit out of him- there had been no footsteps. he's on edge, ready to fight-

and behind the door is a kid.

black hair, slightly wavy, thick and messy, with a few different white streaks and spots scattered throughout, blue eyes that are just bright enough to be unnatural, and a lower face covered by a blue surgical mask; that's the first thing jason sees, followed by the kid's 5'3 stature, skinny limbs, and then the prosthetic arm peeking out of the left hoodie sleeve.

they lock eyes. jason feels something he can't explain, and he knows suddenly that this kid is his, his to protect, his to keep safe-

because that's what he is, just a kid, cautious and careful and quiet, watching diligently from the doorway.

something changes in the kid at the same time, a slight loosening of the posture, a spark in his eye.

"do you want a job?" jason asks, because what else can he say?

"... yeah, sure," the kid responds, because what else could he do?

"show me what you've got, then," jason says, cocking a hip before he raises a hand to beckon the kid along, moving to the door at the other end of the abandoned garage. he tugs the garage door up, and behind it is a small, inconspicuous vehicle, no doubt tricked out on the inside with power equivalent to the batmobile (because when was jason one to be outdone?).

the kid's eyes sparkle just a bit, and he jogs over to hop in the driver's seat as jason slides into the passenger.

jason watches as the kid nerds out over the car a bit.

he gets no warning when they're suddenly moving out of the alley, speeding out onto the street- straight through the fence blocking the alley from view?!

jason can do nothing but brace himself and watch as the kid zips through gotham, not following even one traffic law with how frequently he veers off the road and through buildings supernaturally, drifting all the while to make directional changes, as if to throw off tails that weren't there-

and before jason knows it, the car pulls up, slowing immensely, to park right in front of red hood's known HQ.

there are a few seconds of silence before jason says, just a little shakily, "you've got a job. can you start tomorrow?"

"yeah, sure," the kid replies, and there's just a bit of mirth in his eyes.

"wanna come in and talk about benefits?" jason asks.

"yeah. by the way, i never introduced myself- i'm danny."

"i'm hood," jason says, climbing out of the car. "welcome to the gang."

3 months later, jason learns that none of danny's previous employers had gotten the efficiency danny had given him- apparently, danny didn't go through buildings and drift on slanted rooves for them.

danny, when questioned, responds that "you would understand. they wouldn't."

which leaves jason with questions, but oh well.

3 months after that, danny drops the bombshell that he trusts jason because, quote, "you can only really trust another ghost."

that opens up an entirely separate can of worms.

it's okay, though, jason thinks, because at least he's got a new little brother.

Driver Danny.

Danny goes to Gotham (you can pick why) and he's strapped for cash.

So he tries everything to keep the flickering lights on and the leaky roof over his head.

Dishwashing, pizza delivering, grocery shop Manning, beverage making, tutoring.

He does everything.

Eventually he ends up doing less then legal stuff.

Keeping a look out while a store gets robbed (didn't really feel guilty for that one, the owner was an asshole) work at the iceberg lounge.

Somehow he ends up as a gettaway driver...

Danny, the son of Jack "what's a red light?" Fenton.

He becomes the most sort after driver in Gotham.

[varpusvaras]

An AU in which Jason, upon returning to Gotham, gets really swept up into the whole crime lord thing, and never gets the time to go through with his revenge plan.

It starts small. He comes back and gets to work, and after a while, he has managed to carve out some of the crime from crime alley. This gets him noticed among some of the people there. One night, a group of thugs approach him, but instead of wanting to fight him, they want to work for him.

Jason, still fresh, with not much revenue coming for him yet, tells them that he isn't hiring because he cannot exactly pay them much. The thugs say that it doesn't matter, because they like what he is doing, and would like to be in on it anyway, and, well. If Jason has help managing other things, he can dedicate more time on his bigger plan, right?

Wrong. Things start to move much quicker now, and that means that more people come in and want to work for him. At this point Jason has money coming in, and he starts paying them, too, which makes more people come in, which in turn makes more money to come in as well. Jason can pay them more, and suddenly he notices a difference in many of the goons he has on his roster now. They seem happier. They joke more, many of them have better clothes on them, and they don't look so gaunt anymore, either.

Jason asks about it, once, and the goon tells him that they have had the money to buy actual groceries and new pair of boots, which makes living a lot more comfortable. They even got to buy their kid a new winter jacket! Now, if they save up a little bit, they will be able to get their kid new school books as well!

And Jason, Crime Alley boy Jason, who loved school and reading, feels his heart strings being violently yanked. Don't worry about the books, he says. I will take care of it.

At the end of the month, he has managed to organise a book delivery system for all the Crime Alley kids, where they get school books and picture books and science books about dinosaurs and angient Egypt and all that. He tells his goons that for every kid that stays in school for the semester, he will give them a bonus.

It works wonders. The amount of kids dropping out from school gets cut by 60 percent just during the first semester. The book system grows, and suddenly Jason finds himself pushing some money to get the old local library running again, to make things a bit easier. He even hires some people to run the system for him. Suddenly, he is like actually employing people. He needs an accountant. He hires one for himself, and then another one to run other funds.

Things just keep escalating after that. Local parent group starts to have meetings in the new library, and they put up a babysitting club and start a clothes exhange program as well, where you can bring all the clothes that are too small for you, and people get to take what they need home. A soup kitchen starts as well, first because the kids need snacks, and then it grows so much that Jason needs to find a place for it to run effectively and safely. Many local restaurants get into it as well, and their business starts to rise as well, because people who are fed and have warm clothes have more time and energy to seek for jobs. Many of them are still employed within just Crime Alley, though, because jobs elsewhere require an adress, and some people don't have those.

Jason thinks about himself, after his parents died, on the streets, trying to survive, and thinks never again. He tells his accountant to start budgeting for housing.

He needs to hire more people for it. He needs to run his crime empire, after all, he doesn't have the time for this.

He has so many people working for him now. There are a few thugs that were previously employed by other Gotham Rogues coming in as well, because they have heard good things about the Red Hood. The other Rogues are in and out of the prison or Arkham all the time and the pay isn't reliable and there is a high chance that you will get beaten up by one of the bats as well, and they don't really get offered medical services by their bosses, you know?

There's another thing. Jason now has to organize people to get first aid-training. And also get some sort of vaccination program going. And also get everybody dental.

It's all getting too much for him, really. He doesn't even have a high school diploma.

He mentions this to one of his goons one night, because they said that he looked stressed. Don't worry boss! The goon tells him. We will take care of things, if you want to go back to school! It would be a good example, too, for the older kids, who are still dropping out more than the little kids, you know?

So Jason goes back to school. God he loves school. He barely even thinks about his revenge plan anymore, because he is busy running his programs and studying and making plans with his goons.

He gets his diploma and then starts a community college so people can get degrees.

He then runs into an entirely new problem. The people look up to him, especially the kids. And now the kids also want to help him.

Jason, the second Robin, the bird with clipped wings, tells them no. Absolutely not. You are kids, go back to school, your bedtime is at nine.

He cannot control the older teens, though. They just tell him to fuck off and accept the help. Now train us, so we can start running the more specialized missions too. You can't be the only person jumping on rooftops. If you don't train us, we will do it anyway, dipshit. We ain't scared of you.

And suddenly Jason has his own vigilante team with him. His workers are unionizing. Some of them are actually running for the city council to get things addressed that need to be done the legal way. Crime rates have dropped by 70 percent around Crime Alley.

They can't really call it Crime Alley anymore, can they? It's Park Row again.

The bats are extremely confused by the new team. The Hoods, they call themselves. All of them with a red bat painted on their chests and fighting in an eerily similar manner to them.

Jason is not there on Thursdays. He is busy getting his English degree.

[delusionsofgrandeur13]

ex boyfriend!dick grayson is distraught.

it’s been two weeks, three days, ten hours, and seven minutes since the two of you broke up. not that anyone is counting.

his days are spent with him walking around like a zombie.

batman has to practically yell into the comms link to even get a reply during patrol. dick’s not even sure he’s been putting his suit on properly. two nights ago he only went out with one escrima stick. he almost lost a fight with some goons, and one of them asked him if he had a death wish. he went home bruised, his lip bloodied, wondering if maybe he did have a death wish.

he tried going out to the store. he was out of shaving cream and eggs. dick made it as far as the produce section. he had a staring contest with the apples for ten minutes, and left without buying anything.

the first week he kept wearing hats. seeing his hair in the mirror practically made his eye twitch with the memory of you running your hands through it. he could almost hear you cooing over how nice it looks long.

“dick, you look so handsome! are you growing it out? dick, you look so handsome! are you growing it out? dick, you look so handsome! are you growing it out? dick, you look so handsome! are you growing it out? dick you look so—”

he cuts it a week later, sick of his brothers making fun of him for the hats and sick of your voice in his ear.

he barely touches his hair now, his hands nothing compared to the way yours felt on his scalp. almost every other night he cries in the shower, thinking about the way your eyes would flash when you’d offer to wash his hair for him. you’d always bite your lip in this cute way when you slicked all his hair back, the soap fluffy in your hands. you’d wiggle your eyebrows and call him distinguished, and then pull it up into a mohawk and tell him to call up jason and ask to join the outlaws. a few nights ago he made the mistake of looking at your razor, still on the shower caddy. he cried so hard his head hurt the next morning like he’d had a hangover.

his family stops whispering when he enters rooms, their worry and concern growing more obvious by the day. alfred won’t stop feeding him. bruce keeps looking him over, his eyebrows furrowed. jason left at least four self help books on his coffee table and in his cubby in the batcave. tim took over all of the video surveillance batman had assigned him, waving him away when dick tried to insist it was okay, and that he could do it. steph wouldn’t stop high fiving him? cass hugged him, at least three times. wally tried to get him to go out, but dick drank one beer and left, walking home in the pouring rain like he was in a music video. wally took the hint, but started texting him good morning, every day. even damian stopped picking on him, instead asking to spar just so dick would have something else to think about. it didn’t work, obviously, but he’d mussed damian’s hair, giving him a wan smile on the way out of the practice room. he’d left immediately after.

he spent the rest of the day at home thinking about how he’d always let you win when the two of you would play wrestle. you had this expression you’d make right before, where your eyes would squint a little and the corner of your mouth would turn up. the whole time you’d dated, dick was never able to figure out if it was because you were about to play fight or fuck. he loved it.

his nights are full of tossing and turning.

he spent the first week not washing his sheets, sleeping face down on your side of the bed. the second week he washed his sheets every night, trying to rid his nose of the phantom smell of you. the pillowcase you used is shoved deep into his linen cabinet. he now sleeps on the couch. he had to wash all of his t shirts too, the ones you’d steal to wear to bed with nothing under. he rummaged through his dresser in his old room in Wayne Manor hoping to find ones to wear that didn’t smell like you. ones that didn’t make him think of you pulling them off in the middle of the night, to then sink down onto his cock. you’d toss it onto the ground while you straddled him, smiling down at him.

he couldn’t sit and watch tv without thinking of all the times he’d gone down on you on the couch.

couldn’t brush his teeth without seeing the last time he’d bent you over the sink, thrusting into you while your breath fogged the bathroom mirror.

he couldn’t go out to eat at any of the restaurants by his apartment without seeing the two of you at a table, you stealing one of his fries or swapping sandwiches to try the other’s order.

he still couldn’t go to the little family-owned grocery store, not when the old couple that ran it knew both of you by name.

couldn’t look at his keys without seeing the keychains you’d bought him.

his every waking moment was spent with thinking of you, all you, always you.

you were everywhere,

he thought about how you’d beamed when he’d first asked you out, your eyes shining when you’d nodded yes.

how surprised you’d looked when he finally told you he was nightwing, and how you made him pinky swear to be careful.

he couldn’t appreciate enough how you had always been gracious when he’d show up late to dates, bruce always needing his help with something or other.

he thought of the way you’d looked washing the dishes, up to your elbows in suds when he’d roll in from the window, coming up behind you to kiss you and push you over to the couch while he’d finished the dishes, still in his nightwing suit.

what you’d looked like when you opened the promise ring he got you, and showed you his matching one. you’d both gotten teary eyed then.

the way you tried to hide the fact you’d been crying when he came home from patrol one night.

when your expression would change after he’d tell you he had to miss a family dinner at your mom’s house. you thought he wouldn’t notice but c’mon, he was trained by batman.

how your face had crumpled like his heart did when he had realized what he needed to do. when he had said he loved you more than anything, but knew that you deserved to be treated better, and that he couldn’t give you that right now. couldn’t give you all of his time like he wanted to.

you’d accepted it, nodding while tears slipped down your cheeks silently, walking out of his apartment to go stay at your mom’s house.

it’d been two weeks, three days, ten hours, and seven minutes, yet dick hadn’t accepted it. and your toothbrush was still next to his. so he didn’t think you’d really accepted it either.

but yet, you were now nowhere.