#cdd switching

[chemicalcarousel]

that kind of "seamless switching" where you don't immediately notice the switch is a really weird experience because you'll just go about whatever you were doing and then realise oh i'm fronting now damn how did that happen

[interstellarsystem]

Music as a Switching Method

We have mostly voluntary switches, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Sometimes it's hard to stay in the front when the body really wants One Particular Guy to front for the next week straight. It has a habit of latching onto one person until they get worn out, then shoving another guy into front--rinse and repeat. No one likes it. It's not productive. Sure, we can switch, but we feel absolutely horrible and blurry if we do, if the brain decides it doesn't want whoever switched in.

But we've learned ways to make it easier for other people to hold onto the front using certain methods. One of the most effective ways to do it? Music. A lot of us have our own playlists, favourite songs and music tastes, and those get so associated with us that they're almost inseparable from us. Like our own list of theme songs that we have playing in the background when we're around. And what do you know, it grounds us and keeps us from blurring too hard.

Your identity gets so merged with your playlist that years after your last front, you can hear a song from it and be rocketed straight into the fronting area from wherever you were inside. Some people share songs across playlists and those don't tend to be as strong of a front trigger, but sometimes they lean more toward being a switch-in trigger for one person than anyone else. Sometimes it depends on the overall playlist vibe and takes a few songs in a row to summon someone from the headspace. Sometimes it's as simple as the first few notes of a favourite song.

It's almost literally like we have our own theme songs that follow us around like videogame characters. If the song plays, you know we're there or we'll be there soon. It definitely helps with times where our brain is being difficult. It means that sometimes switches happen out in public if we hear a certain song playing on some speaker somewhere, but that's better for us than not having any way to combat identity-blurring.

[korya-elana]

We were so excited to work on our partner system's holiday gift that we counted up SP today and found out a whopping eight of us were out and about, some of us I didn't even know about until I looked at the fronting log.

Considering our usual max fronting limit is. Like. Three? No wonder we were so goofy and soupy and switchy when we finally came down from the craft attic. I think the only reason R ended up staying around is because the snow made her super, super excited.

Today I'm headachy and tired but it was honestly worth it to feel so much joy and excitement in the system. Good system memories <3

[scarlet97531]

There are two types of rapid switching. the one people talk about the most feels like a tornado, too many people shoved too close together in a disorienting mess that no one really wants to be a part of.

The one we’ve never seen anyone talk about is like small quiet waves, when two people are so connected and in sync that switching becomes as easy and natural as breathing. The outside world becomes insignificant and it hardly even matters who is in front anymore. It’s like a slow dance in an empty room with no music.

[dissociating-brain]

Can we invent a switching headache that *doesnt* feel like there’s a knife in my head????

[pluralia-tantum]

Just convinced myself I was definitely misdiagnosed with DID and then read something about non-possession form switches and went 😮

[cordysys]

WELL THATS DEFINITELY WRONG

anyone else have a hard time remembering to fix front logs? it's like we have a hang of it for a few days and then after one slipup, it's suddenly as if one person was fronting for weeks which is certainly not the case

[thrivingwhilemultiple]

Too many eyes paying attention, too many ears listening, too many voices pushing to be heard at once…

Rolodex

[beelzebubsbois]

If you are able to use the app and the discord bot, link your discord to the app! The bot will update with your system and you can set up a name proxy and display name (Alias) from the app!

The bot uses slash commands (just type "/" and click the octocon icon in discord, and it'll bring up every command for the bot, including server commands!)

In the app you can change the way you add alters to front, the default is to swipe to add and remove them from front, but you can make it a button just like simply plural! They also have a "dyslexic font" option along with security options such as a passcode, app masking (making the app appear as a news app to people just clicking on it in your phone), and a quick escape option. All of which are optional and can be turned on or off at will!

The app is new and still being developed further, but we love how it is coming so far!

Octocon is a new app for systems. It's anti endo and made by traumagenic systems. It also has a discord bot that is a lot easier to use than pk in my opinion. You can also sync your app and the bot so you can edit alters in the app. The app is on android already and coming to IOS soon. Hope this helps some people :)

(If you're in a server, I recommend adding this bot as more people are starting to use it instead of pk and tupperbox)

[chemicalcarousel]

something funny that happened to us was when we joined a schizotypal discord server because our psych team thought we had that disorder and there we met two friends we still talk to, but it turned out that all three of us were actually cdd systems, which we slowly learned pretty much simultaneously, but independently

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

Host got stressed about us missing the train and our brain thought it was a good idea to make me front to deal with... not catching a fucking train??? Wtf am I gonna do about it???? I just had to pretend to be kinda normal in front of our siblings (I did say I was dissociating, but im not gonna introduce my fictive ass rn that would just make us dissociate even more holy shit this is an annoying disorder ngl)

[littlest-bugz]

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

[scarlet97531]

I just saw this on reddit and wanted to share

Anyone claiming that endogenic and pro endogenic systems are spreading misinformation more than other people have not spent enough time around inclusive plural communities. I see posts like this a lot in the plural subreddit, it’s pretty common for new people to come in with misinformation or just being uninformed, and when they ask about it or say something incorrect they get friendly corrections. I genuinely see way less misinformation in inclusive communities than exclusive communities.

I’ve literally had anti endos claiming that learning to control switches is a bad thing, that different alters can’t have different disorders (like depression or personality disorders), and a lot of internalized plural phobia, believing that being a system is inherently a horrible thing and has only ever hurt them, which is just so unhealthy.

Every community is capable of spreading misinformation and you will see examples of that happening no matter where you go. Endogenic systems and their supporters are not a uniquely horrible source of misinformation, most of the community is well educated and happy to give information about CDDs without invalidating people that have different experiences.

[heavens-roses]

Octocon and RAMCOA survivors

pt: octocon and RAMCOA survivors

cw: RAMCOA, number names

Felt I should share this as I haven't really seen it talked about in system or RAMCOA spaces. When you use Octocon your parts will be attached numbers to each part based off who was created first. While it's likely due to how to code the easiest. it is important to remember that if you are a survivor who has parts who were forced to be called a number, are a survivor who was called a number collectively/bodily, forced to refer to others as numbers or has any trauma related to number names please tread carefully.

I know as a survivor it can be extremely scary not being able to control your name or having anxieties related to not being called your number too. Please know you are not forced to use Octocon just because other people are using it. If plural kit or simply plural work best for you than keep using them. You do not need to switch over and risk your own mental health. Being a survivor who was dehumanized to numbers is horrible and whether you decide to reclaim your trauma or are healing by moving away from it know your triggers are valid.

Know you are never alone in healing your trauma and note this post is for education. This is not to bash in the creators of Octocon nor is it to tell you how to feel about the app/bot. At the end of the day how you find support with yourself is for only you and your system to decide. With thet being said do not interact with this post if you are pro/neu-endo / believe in any form of "plurality" outside of being trauma based. If you are a questioning system, a cdd system who is syscourse unaligned or apathetic you are more than welcome to repost and interact.

[ratinacoat]

Endos are not discriminated against

Someone not sharing your belief is not discrimination. The concept of being multiple people/souls/spirits/entities in one body is entirely spiritual. Bringing that into CDD spaces and expecting to be welcomed like you have similar experiences is ridiculous. PwCDD's are allowed to dislike endogenics who use CDD terms (split, switch, dormant, ect) to describe their spiritual belief. PwCDD's are allowed to dislike endos telling questioning systems that you can be "plural" without DID. PwCDD's are allowed to dislike endos who act like they face day to day discrimination just because they aren't welcome in system spaces.

Before you say "endos aren't invading CDD spaces" many are. You may not be, your friends may not be, but a lot of endos do this. Enough that pwCDDs are hurt by it.

Endogenics are not discriminated against. Stop forcing your beliefs on people. Claiming anti-endos are discriminating against you is the same logic as Christians who think Atheists are discriminating against them.

[hiiragi7]

How Many Was I, Anyway?

Some reflections on the system I used to be.

To this day, I don't know how many selves I was. I don't know how many parts, how many "not-me"s, existed in my system. I never will.

We never got an exact count.

And... that's for the best.

My system was very, very polyfragmented and complex. A lot of therapists, including dissociative specialists, dropped me because of it. A member of the ISSTD even retired after working with me for a few weeks. My system was always in conflict with itself and my parts were always fighting, a lot of us resented each other.

It was really overwhelming.

Trying to get any kind of sense of how many parts of me there were was an impossible task. And one that proved to be, well... counterproductive at best.

Fixating on the numbers made my system more and more distressed. It felt like we would never recover, there were too many parts, too many fragments and little pieces to pick up.

So we stopped counting.

We worked with every part as they came, worked really hard at improving our communication and self-calming skills, wrote down tons of notes about how to notice what we're feeling and what triggers symptoms and switches, read a lot of clinical books on dissociative disorders to better understand what we were dealing with and learn new skills, shared info with a lot of others with CDDs, and did a lot of mood tracking and journaling and setting reminders to help spot patterns and work around the amnesia better.

And, slowly... the dissociative barriers came down, and one by one, every part of us fused, until their fusions and all the effort and love that went into each one created me, the fused whole.

I may not know how many I was in the past, but I can comfortably say how many I am now; I am a system of two, myself and Fennel.

I've noticed in our community we tend to focus a lot on the numbers. A lot of plural servers on discord even ask anyone who joins to disclose alter/headmate counts. A lot of folks post their numbers publicly in their bios. Everybody, systems and singlets alike, all seem to want to know - How big is your system? How many of you are there?

It always made me feel very vulnerable to think about - everyone else always seemed so sure of their numbers, or at least had an estimate if not an exact count. I had a lot of internalized shame for a long time over how many parts I had and felt really overwhelmed every time I found more or split more. It also felt like something that should be more private, something I didn't really want to share with strangers.

And, well, that's perfectly alright. I may not be in that same headspace now (pun intended), but I think there should be more acceptance towards not sharing or knowing the exact number of members in a system.

However many you are, I hope you can have a good day today.