#actuallypdid

[chemicalcarousel]

[unstablemotions]

an hour into this, but it's so good! i really related to some of the things brought up in this presentation as a dissociative person (DID). highly recommend giving it a watch if you have the time

it is focused on how to treat dissociative patients, so the target audience is therapists and psychiatrists, but i also got something out of it as a patient

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

How does it feel to other systems when they switch? Here's some of our switching sensations:

Feeling like being thrown around inside our body like riding a roller coaster

Feeling like one of us dissolves into nothing and another person takes over the body (possession)

Suddenly feeling like having stepped into a foreign body

Forgetting "who we are" and feeling like we are an imposter trying to act like someone we aren't

Feeling like we are still a child trapped in our traumatic environment (flashback)

Not noticing for awhile until something/someone makes us think about it (like individual quirks, likes/dislikes, dysphoria, ect.)

Just some I thought of of the top of my head. We are still discovering more about ourselves and realising that what we are dealing with isn't normal and that we are indeed severely mentally ill. Awkward lol

[chemicalcarousel]

I recommend this new video by The CTAD Clinic! I think most of y'all know about their channel, but they make great videos about dissociative disorders both for other professionals, for people with dissociative disorders and for those who just want to learn more about dissociation and complex trauma

In this video, Dr Mike Lloyd explains the differences between the ICD-11 and the DSM-5 diagnostic categories and how P-DID is *not* the same as OSDD-1, which many people seems to think online. OSDD is still in the ICD-11. P-DID is a distinct type of dissociative disorder, where one alter is dominant and switches rarely if ever happen. I highly recommend giving this a watch!

i feel like P-DID and OSDD-1A isn't talked about enough.

true. We used to think we were P-DID and we always felt left out because no one ever really talked about it. We know we're not P-DID now, we're C-DID, but we still think that P-DID should be talked about more. Same with OSDD-1A, 1B is talked about quite a bit but I think 1A should get some attention too

[recordsystem]

shoutout to endogenic disordered systems! to my did/osdd/pdid/etc. endogenic systems!! you are all valid as hell and dont need to be traumagenic to be disordered. trauma is not part of did’s diagnostic criteria for a reason. you all deserve all the community and support in the world. <3333

[subsystems]

we have p-DID! for me it's like... we're on a long long road trip. the body is the car (or bus...), and whoever's driving is fronting. i (the host) drive pretty much most of the time. i'm good at driving, i'm used to driving, and i know exactly what to do and when. sometimes though, i need a break, or someone else wants to drive the car. usually the next person driving is the one that's been in the car the longest. then i'm usually awake in the passenger's seat, directing what to do. sometimes i need a total break and to cry or sleep in the backseat. thats ok too! others will take over. most of them cant drive for very long right now, they're still getting used to the controls and how to navigate some issues, but we're learning. (obviously not as simple as that but that's the best analogy i can come up with... despite us not having a driver's license and having trauma around cars......)

Thank you for sharing what having DID/OSDD looks like for you! There's not a lot of people talking about partial DID out there, so your experiences are very important to hear about!

[chemicalcarousel]

It's fucking funny when you start to notice the "tells" of certain alters, such as speech patterns, posture, voice pitch, accent, hand gestures, ect.

Like "wait a minute... why am I fucking man spreading like a fucking clown.... oh.... oh it's him."

[chemicalcarousel]

Anyone else sorting their alters into what acute stress response they usually exhibit? Idk we've found it somewhat helpful to understand why each of us react as we do

We also separate us into what emotions we each primarily feel. This simple image is helpful for us to remind ourselves that all emotions (and all alters) serve an important purpose!

Idk if this is helpful to other dissociative people and this might be because we are also probably autistic, but categorising us in this way has been helpful to understand ourselves and to teamwork better

[chemicalcarousel]

Made a meme

[chemicalcarousel]

that kind of "seamless switching" where you don't immediately notice the switch is a really weird experience because you'll just go about whatever you were doing and then realise oh i'm fronting now damn how did that happen

[chemicalcarousel]

Throwback to when we ran into the word "dissociation" on tumblr as a teen and thought "huh sounds rough, glad i don't deal with that stuff myself"

[unstablemotions]

Having like a thousand different disorders that cause memory issues for different reasons is fucking frustrating because dont i remember this because of my shit working memory, because of anxiety, because of dissociation, because of trauma, or because of severe depression or mania... or maybe I am just fucking stupid idfk

[chemicalcarousel]

normalise not knowing shit about your system

[chemicalcarousel]

other dissociative folks: do you dissociate when ingesting caffeine? because we seem to do. we tried to drink big cups of coffee when we had long lectures, but it would have the opposite effect than it was supposed to have

our theory is that how the caffeine affects the body triggers dissociation for us. maybe our brain thinks we are under acute stress, because of the increased heart rate and it dissociates as a learned response from trauma, but who knows. it is just fascinating to us how bodies work

[unstablemotions]

☆*~, attention deficit / dissociation moodboard ,~*☆

[chemicalcarousel]

how it feels when you have to act like the host around others