#actuallyosddid

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[unstablemotions]

an hour into this, but it's so good! i really related to some of the things brought up in this presentation as a dissociative person (DID). highly recommend giving it a watch if you have the time

it is focused on how to treat dissociative patients, so the target audience is therapists and psychiatrists, but i also got something out of it as a patient

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Sometimes the system experience is seeing characters who aren’t systems in canon and it would be incredibly offensive if the creator of those characters implied they were a system and headcanoning them as a system because you’re allowed to do it

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what is polyplex? is that like polyfrag? i never heard of it until today....

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Anyone else sorting their alters into what acute stress response they usually exhibit? Idk we've found it somewhat helpful to understand why each of us react as we do

We also separate us into what emotions we each primarily feel. This simple image is helpful for us to remind ourselves that all emotions (and all alters) serve an important purpose!

Idk if this is helpful to other dissociative people and this might be because we are also probably autistic, but categorising us in this way has been helpful to understand ourselves and to teamwork better

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Throwback to when we ran into the word "dissociation" on tumblr as a teen and thought "huh sounds rough, glad i don't deal with that stuff myself"

[unstablemotions]

Having like a thousand different disorders that cause memory issues for different reasons is fucking frustrating because dont i remember this because of my shit working memory, because of anxiety, because of dissociation, because of trauma, or because of severe depression or mania... or maybe I am just fucking stupid idfk

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how it feels when you have to act like the host around others

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system where all parts are hyper avoidant of conflict and will definitely let themselves get abused to avoid making thyoe abuser upset except that one spiteful bastard who wishes death upon any stranger online who disagrees with them on the silliest stuff

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Ok so I think one of the most annoying things about having a CDD is that I never know who tf I'll be at any given point in the future. I can feel so ready to go to work and then I wake up and Shy Kindergartener Who'd Much Rather Watch Cartoons will be in control. I can try to tell myself that I'll never again use my body to get attention, but then Girl Who Relies On Sexual Validation will take over and get us into trouble. I can get into a small argument and suddenly 7 Year Old Girl will make it even worse by acting like a 7 year old girl. Or maybe Middle Aged Man With Anger Issues will take over and make it worse by refusing any compromises and getting into fights. Maybe I'll be Silly Ironic Meme Queen and be waaaay to over energetic and immature for the given situation

All dissociative parts have a role in the system, but sometimes they aren't fronting at the right time at the right place

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Protector voice: I hope they die violently

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made after dissociating hard for weeks,,

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undiagnosed system things: psychiatrists, psychologists, nurses, doctors, therapists, ect. struggling to find out why tf you change all the time and you have no explanation for that either

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Ok, I wanna do a poll. I struggled with wording this, but hopefully my idea comes across /gen

Again, sorry if this poll is shit /gen

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That dissociative part moment when you have feelings for someone who doesn't exist, never has and never will, because you're a fictional introject and the system decided to ship your source character with another character to cope with trauma and now you're just stuck here alone like

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okay so i have this theory that even neurotypicals & singlets don't always know who they are

cw // fakeclaiming , identity confusion , identity disturbance

what i mean is that we dont always consciously think "i am bob, i like to read about birds and i need my morning coffee" or something like that. we just exist. we just do things. and then if we run into some situation that require us or just reminds us of recognising who we are, most people would probably be able to define themselves, but even then a lot of the immediate response is something we have learnt and just automatically reply with, like the made up example i put in quotation marks earlier. most people, no matter the brain, will be confronted with the fact that they actually dont fully know who they are. especially in your teens and as a young adult, but also later in life. here erik erikson jumps to mind with his theory of identity conflicts at certain life stages, which i think many people can relate to

well, my personal experiences have lead me to this understanding at least. whenever i've attended something and people have to present themselves, many actually struggle a bit. and how many of yall saw people around you figuring out that they actually were trans/gay/queer/ect when we all had to socially distance and got more time to realise more sides of ourselves? I know i did. i have friends who did

okay now this is just a rant. this always happens, my apologies. idk i just find personality psychology and the concept of identity super interesting and honestly i could discuss it for ages (i feel sorry for my friends /lh)

conclusion: no one knows who they are at all times, so if you feel like it is a sign of faking when you dont know who you are and have to think about it - just know that even people with one single identity to manage can get confused too and have to do some soul searching to learn who they are besides "basic characteristics"

peace & love, an alter in a system who's not sure who they are <3