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Because I don’t know how much longer I can do this shit

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Do I hurt myself or do I break up with you

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Endogenic Alters?

I will be using part language in this post!

So I've recently been seeing posts in the community talking about endogenic parts, i.e. parts that are not formed by trauma. And I want to make it very clear that parts do not have to be caused by trauma. Endogenic parts are not a thing, they're just regular parts. Parts can split due to trauma, or they can split due to regular ol' stress.

Splitting depends on your window of tolerance! This is a visual example of what a window of tolerance is.

Previous trauma can lower your window of tolerance and make it smaller and thus make you more vulnerable to splitting from smaller stressors. Personally our window tolerance is very small due to trauma we have experienced in our life as well as working full time and being in an unpleasant living situation.

How it works for us is that once we are outside of our window of tolerance, we cannot get back inside our window of tolerance unless we split. Parts who are primarily negative will split if we are in hyperarousal and parts who are primarily positive will split if we are in hypoarousal. Their qualities will balance us out and then we will be able to continue in our window of tolerance.

Endogenic parts do not exist!! Every single part in your system has split for a reason (even if that's a very mild reason) and please never feel invalidated when you feel that there is no proper reason for a part to split. It mattered to your brain and it was important to your brain. That is all that matters!! And if it makes you feel any better, we've had like at least 5 parts split over dumb internet discourse :)

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IN A TRANSITIONAL PERIOD OF MY LIFE…

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TW

so true

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When you grow up in an abusive home, you don’t become a people pleaser to please people. You become a people pleaser to keep the potential for more abuse away.

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What’s it called when you convince yourself you’re pregnant every 3-5 months, despite having never been pregnant and being on fool proof birth control?

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I am somehow too much and not enough at the same time

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I just don’t caaaarreee. I don’t care. But I care a lot though I care SO much. But also I just don’t care at all and never have. But also I do and always will. Hope that helps

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2025 is the year to get around to it. rub some dirt in the gaping wound of your heart and bare your teeth to your own life